From: To: Subject: about your site Date: Sunday, October 14, 2001 9:10 PM Title: Inevitable Author: XFJunkie Rating: NC-17 Spoilers: post All Things. Scully opened her eyes to the faint glow of the aquarium. She lay on the couch, Mulder's blanket pulled over her. She had fallen asleep during their discussion of fate and destiny. She pulled the blanket off, stood up, and stretched. There was so much more she had wanted to tell Mulder and now that the discussion was over and the moment passed, she feared she would never have the opportunity to tell him. Such intimate discussions rarely occurred between the two of them. She didn't know if she would ever have the courage to break the status quo by revealing her newfound discovery to Mulder. It wasn't exactly a discovery, but an acknowledgement of the feelings she had for Mulder and the realization that she could no longer push those feelings aside. She had loved him for a long time, but it wasn't until this weekend that she admitted that those feelings went beyond what she expressed to him. She knew that he understood that she cared about him deeply, but she was su! re he didn't realize the extent of her feelings. Or maybe he did and he was waiting for her to realize them herself. It seemed to her now that all the decisions she had made about her life and her career had led her to him and that this was where she was meant to be. Things were changing between them--she felt it. Perhaps tonight was not to be the time to express this change she felt in herself, but the time would come soon. Before returning to her own apartment, she couldn't resist walking over to Mulder's half-opened door to watch him sleep. "Scully?" He had been lying on his back, arms tucked behind his head when he heard her approach. He turned his head to see her peeking through the door. "I'm sorry, Mulder. I didn't want to wake you up." "You didn't. I was just lying here staring at the ceiling." "Can't sleep?" "Yeah, you know, thinking about fate and destiny and the meaning of life." Her eyes had now adjusted to the darkness of his room and she could see him smiling at her. "I'm sorry I fell asleep." "So many revelations in one weekend can tire a person out." She returned his smile. "Goodnight, Mulder," she said softly. "Scully?" He pushed himself up into a sitting position. "Hmmm?" "Do you really believe now that fate led you this point in your life? I mean, to the FBI, the X-Files, to this exact moment?" She moved toward the bed and sat down a few inches from him. "It all seemed so clear to me this weekend. Maybe I'm seeing a pattern that isn't there, trying to give the things I've done and the choices I've made some significance when there isn't any. Not in the grand scheme of things." He scooted closer to her on the bed, trying to catch her eyes, which seemed to be focused on his wall. She turned her head when he began to speak again. "There is significance in the choices you've made, in the choices we all make. Maybe our life isn't mapped out by some higher power, but each choice we've made affects us in some way, even when we don't realize it, and makes us who we are. We can't know what would have been if we had done something differently, but we can learn from the things we have done and in that sense, direct our own destiny. And maybe there was some choice we didn't make or something we wish we had done or not done, but if that choice or that thing is really that important, it'll present itself in our lives again." She was now looking right into his dark eyes, concentrating on his words. He reached out and took her right hand, which had been hanging in her lap, in his. "I want to believe that," she smiled as she repeated the words on his poster as he began to absently stroke her fingers. "I would like to think that if we make a mistake or something we perceive as a mistake that we'll have the opportunity to rectify it sometime in the future, but that seems too easy. If that were true, we'd have no regrets. We make mistakes or take action and live with the outcome and often the outcome causes us regret." "It causes us regret now, but once we've learned from it we'll have the opportunity to make that decision again and hopefully, then, we'll make the right decision. But I tend to believe that there isn't always a right choice and a wrong choice, just different choices. Life isn't black and white." "I feel that there have been some wrong decisions I've made and now I want to free myself of them. I feel I've made a lot of mistakes with you, Mulder. I haven't been honest with you about my feelings..." "It's o.k., Scully, I haven't always been honest with you either." His right hand remained entangled with hers and his left hand reached out to stroke her cheek. "You've been more honest than I have. I'm not good at this, but I think I owe it to you to be completely honest now. I've hidden my feelings from you and even from myself. I've pushed you away when I thought you were getting too close to me and I don't want to push you away. I feel that whether it was fate or my own doing, I was meant to be here, with you. You mean so much to me, Mulder, and I'm afraid I haven't let you know that." She pulled her hand from his and reached up to stroke his hair. "You let me know, Scully," he said as he turned his mouth down to kiss her. It was a light kiss at first, much like the one they'd shared New Year's Eve. Mulder slowly opened his mouth to cover her lips completely. She opened her mouth under his as she pulled his head closer. He wrapped both his arms around her and squeezed her tightly. He deepened the kiss and slid his tongue into her welcoming mouth. She sucked on it hard, and he smiled inside as he thought of Scully devouring his tongue. Soon her tongue thrust against his. His hands rubbed up and down her back, over the sport jacket. One hand slid inside the jacket to caress her rib cage through her blouse. The hand that was still on her back reached up to the collar of the jacket and attempted to pull it down and over her shoulders. She squirmed underneath him and his hand froze, afraid he had pushed things too far. She pulled back from him and smiled as she removed the jacket. Mulder stared at her as if he were in a trance. She reached up to touch his face. She stroked his cheek and leaned up to put her lips on his. When her mouth opened on his, he snapped out of the trance and returned the kiss. Once again he put both arms around her. Her hands were not idle either--she reached in between them and slid a hand up under his shirt. Soon she was running her fingers over his nipple as he ran his hands up and down her back, then pulled the blouse from her skirt and reached one hand up to caress the bare skin near the small of her back. She pushed closer into him and he scooted back, pulling her on top of him. Both of her hands were now under his shirt, touching him wherever she could. She slid her hands down his chest and pulled at the shirt, lifting as far as she could. He didn't want to stop kissing her and he resisted when she tried to get him to pull the shirt over his arms. ! Finally, he let her go long enough to pull the shirt off and pull her back down on top of him. This time his arms slid under the front of her shirt, touching her just below her breasts. His right hand crept slowly up and over her bra, until he was cupping her breast in his hand. His left hand soon followed and he squeezed both breasts gently. He felt as if he were watching a film of himself kissing Scully, like his mind was somehow removed from his body as he looked down at the two of them. He hadn't expected this to happen between them, at least not yet. He loved Scully and was certain she knew this, but he hadn't thought she was quite ready to acknowledge his love or to return it. After their discussion this evening, he felt that she was on her way to opening herself up to him. He hadn't expected her to open up this soon, but he was glad she had. Their relationship had been progressing at such a slow pace. He was patient, he could wait another eight years for her, but he was lonely and now he felt relieved that he was finally able to express his feelings to Scully. He wanted to tell her he loved her, but that didn't come easily for him. He had told her once before and she had blown him off, not taken him seriously. He didn't think she would react the same way if he were to say it again, but some part ! of him refused to let the words come out again. He knew he may never hear those words from her, so he was taken aback when she sat up, pulled her blouse off, and, pulling his hand to her heart, said, "I love you." He removed his hand from her and leaned over, pressing his ear against her breast. She stroked his hair as he listened to her heart beat. Then he reached his hands around her to undo the clasp on her bra. He kissed her shoulders, her neck, and her arms as he pulled the bra off. He couldn't believe the feeling of her smooth skin and her firm breasts against his chest as he enveloped her in another hug. When he pulled back to kiss her, she pushed on his shoulder and he understood she wanted them to lay down. They lay on their sides, gazing into each other's eyes as he caressed her face with his right hand. He couldn't contain the joy he felt and a smile spread over his face. She returned his smile, though hers was just a slight upturning of the mouth, hardly a smile at all to those who didn't know her. But he knew she was smiling, he could see it in her eyes. He reached down and slid his hand up her skirt, running his hands over her nylon covered legs. His hand moved further up and he discovered that she was wearing pantyhose, not just thigh highs. Wanting to touch her bare skin, he pushed her over onto her back, reached both hands up around the waistband of the pantyhose, and pulled them down and then off of her legs. Next he unzipped her skirt and slid that down her legs as well. He returned his hand to its former position on her thigh and slowly stroked her smooth skin. He ran his hand up and down her thigh , then up over her hips, her stomach, and finally her breasts. As his hand made its descent down over her belly and back to her thigh, she reached out and grabbed his forearm. "C'mere." She rolled over onto her side so that they were once again lying eye to eye. She kissed him softly on the lips, then trailed kisses down his neck and over his nipple. She flicked the nipple with her tongue, then let it go, moving her kisses over his ribcage and down to his navel. Her head rested on his chest as her hand stroked over his side and down his leg. Her hand then slid back up and over his erection, which was tenting his boxer shorts. She heard him take in a sharp breath as she ran her hand back and forth over his crotch. Grabbing the waistband of the shorts, she pulled them down his body, lifting them over his hardness. She pulled them down and over his feet before returning to his crotch. He was staring at her, eyes full of lust, as she ran her tongue over the head of his penis before sliding her mouth as far down on him as she could. She sucked him tightly and swirled her tongue on him, moving him in and out of her mouth. Her left hand sli! d up and down his side and her right hand began to stroke over his testicles. She looked up to find him still staring at her. "Get up here, Scully." She moved back up to him and felt her panties being pushed down. He couldn't push them all the way off her without getting up, so he let them remain somewhere between her crotch and her knees. He kissed her hard, thrusting his tongue into her mouth as he thrust his fingers into her core, his palm brushing over her clit as he did so. He moved his fingers in and out of her, rubbing her clit each time he pulled them out. Mulder pulled away from her mouth, repeating her earlier actions as he kissed his way down to her sex. He kissed her moist curls and ran his tongue back and forth over her clit. His tongue thrust inside her and she spread her legs wider to accommodate him. He pulled his tongue out of her and sank his mouth down around her clit, sucking it into his mouth. "God...Mulder..." He looked up and grinned at her before sliding back up her body. Scully reached down to caress his penis, running her fingers over its smooth head. He pressed himself into her hand. "Mmmm, Scully, how do you, uh, want to do this?" She questioned him with her eyes. "What position?" His voice was deep and raspy. In answer to his question, she pulled him harder against her breast and spread her legs. He positioned his cock so that the tip of it brushed against her folds. He began to rub himself back and forth over her as he stared down at her. He pushed against her until he found her opening. Mulder's head bent down to kiss her as his hard cock slid into her slowly. "Mmmmm...." She moaned. "I know..." He looked down to see himself pull back out of her and then thrust back in. He wanted to go slowly, to relish every second of it. She was wet and warm and tight and it had been so long since he'd felt this. He hadn't remembered how good it felt to be inside a woman. His hand couldn't replicate this feeling. Her hands were now kneading his buttocks as he slowly slid in and out of her. He was kissing her neck, sucking just below her chin. He wanted to leave a mark. She gripped his ass tightly and he thrust harder into her. He tried to keep his pace slow, but was unable to control the urge to pound into her as quickly as possible. He was panting with each inward thrust and soon the panting turned into moaning. Scully was panting too. He felt like he was on a cloud, he was so happy it felt like a high. He wanted Scully to come; he was going to come soon. He wasn't sure if she'd be able to come in this position, most of the women he'd been with c! ouldn't unless something else was helping them along. He reached down began to rub his fingers over her clit, hard. She was sliding her hands up and down his sides and with a few more strokes her hands stopped and clutched his hips tightly. She arched her back up into him. "Mulder...you feel so good," she moaned as her orgasm overtook her. She pushed up against him harder as the waves of pleasure rippled through her. Mulder remained motionless. He was looking down at her, eyes glazed over as he watched her orgasm against him. When the waves subsided, she let out a breath and sunk back into the bed. When she reached up to stroke his cheek, he turned his head in her hand and rammed into her, hard. He pushed her head down and covered her mouth with his as he slammed into her. He pulled back from the kiss and gasped for breath as he pushed into her. His balls felt warm and tingly and soon the tingly feeling has spread up over his cock and he knew he was about to come. He thrust into her one last time and felt his himself explode into her. He had been holding himself up with his elbows and now his elbows squeezed tightly against her. He made a noise that sounded somewhat like a cry and the cry turned into a long, drawn out moan. "I love you." The word flew out of his mouth before he even realized what he was saying. He felt the last spurts of come spray out of his penis and he collapsed onto his side. Scully turned to him, her eyes revealing her love. "Scully, I didn't mean to say it like that. It's not just because I was coming. You know that, don't you?" "I know, Mulder," she said as she ran her fingers through his hair and gave him a smile. Author's note: I've been saying I'd write a story for about a year now and I've finally gotten on the ball. It'