Hi everyone.  A good cyberfriend of mine, GHill who wrote 
"Kicking the Habit" informed me one day that there was an 
Elvis Chapel in Las Vegas.  That set the wheels turning in 
my addled brain for an X-Files fanfic story.  I hope CC, 
Fox, 1013, et. al. will forgive me for borrowing their 
wonderful characters yet again.  I'm still not making any 
money off of these.  It is all in fun.  I wouldn't do anything 
that would cost them money on their copyrights, believe 
me. The casino and the chapel in this story as well as any 
individual peripheral characters that may appear are strictly 
from my imagination.  Believe me, they in no way reflect 
reality.

This is definitely a comedy although it does have some 
angsty moments.  I would have to call it an unromantic 
romance.  No Ros might get a kick out of it but if not, they 
might want to kick Macspooky's butt.

Summary: Skinner sends Mulder and Scully undercover to 
an Elvis Wedding Chapel in Vegas.  Definitely rated NC17 
for language and sexual situations although it probably is 
not nearly as graphic as a lot of stuff out there.

NOTE:  I'm sick of the Scully cancer arc.  Consider it 
cured...permanently.

I finished the story on July 24, 1997 with the help of GHill 
who came up with some humdinger one liners in there.  I 
can be contacted as macspooky@erols.com.


"Viva Las Vegas and All That"
Chapter One
by Macspooky with input and editing by GHill


Walter Skinner gave the door an absolutely filthy look as it 
closed. Authorities would have had to put out another smog 
alert, just for his office, if they could have seen the smoke 
billowing around in here.  He was about ready to pick up 
the phone and call the Navajo Reservation just because he 
couldn't stand the smell in his office anymore.  Hell, let 
Albert Hosteen start singing.  He was sick of it.  Still, he 
restrained himself. It was pointless to act recklessly.  One 
thing he did know, however, was that he was not going to 
do what Cancerman had ordered.  No way.  Breaking out a 
can of air freshener, he sprayed but it didn't help much.  
There were certain stenches that simply could not be 
masked.  That smoking bastard always made him feel as 
though someone had shoved a banana up his butt or 
something, and that was not a feeling that he personally 
went for.  He growled and sat down determined to do some 
work but couldn't focus yet.

Okay, his current dilemma was going to need a wee bit of 
creative handling.  He pushed back his chair and folded his 
arms.  Try as he might, he couldn't think of a damned thing 
to do, so he decided that he had best let the problem go for 
awhile and return to it when he had calmed down and  the 
smoke had dissipated.  He picked up the reports on his desk 
and began to read.  Finally he reached the bottom of the 
pile.  He was very tired and thought about letting it go until 
tomorrow, however, he thought it might be nice to leave 
with a more or less clear desk for a change.  With a sigh he 
opened it and began to read.  At first what he read made 
him ill.  Then, in spite of the guilt that it caused, he found 
his lips quirking.  By the time he had finished reading the 
file, a part of him still felt ill, but he was grinning from ear 
to ear.  Creative handling.....yes.....if he did this just 
right....his problem might be solved in a way that proved 
satisfactory to everyone.  Now.....if only he could pull it 
off.  Well, it was time to go home. 


The Following Morning 


Dana Scully sat across from Walter Skinner trying to hide 
the fact that she was absolutely livid.  She had planned to 
go to Maine and visit some old friends who had opened a 
bed and breakfast.  She was to be one of their first guests 
and had been looking forward to it.  Instead of making the 
clean getaway she had hoped for, she and Mulder had 
gotten summoned to Skinner's office and she had known 
what that meant the moment Kimberly had called.  They 
were to be sent out of town on another case.  Dana had 
asked Mulder to please find a way to get out of it and he 
had absolutely promised that he would do his best, but of 
course, in typical Mulder fashion, he had been suckered 
right into it.  He was reading avidly.  Scully crossed her 
ankles.  It was not comfortable.  She uncrossed them.  She 
crossed her legs attempting to keep the anger off her face.  
She realized that the short skirt she was wearing showed 
just a bit too much thigh and Skinner had noticed.  Finally 
she sat up primly and counted to ten as she listened.

"Oh, wow, this is great!" Mulder was exclaiming.  "I mean 
being sorry about the murders and all, are you trying to tell 
me that you want Scully and I to go undercover?"

"That is what I am trying to tell you.  We've been asked by 
the Las Vegas police for help on this one."  He turned to 
Scully.  She was miffed about something.  She was subtle, 
but he could always tell.  "Four young couples who have 
been married in the Elvis Lives! Chapel and who were 
honeymooning at the Elvis Lives! Casino have been 
murdered in the middle of the night.  Despite efforts to 
keep things quiet, word got out.  Profits are down.  People 
are starting to stay away."

"I bet that makes the powers-that-shouldn't-be happy," 
muttered Scully.

"Precisely and that is why I need to send my two best 
agents out there.  You will leave first thing in the morning 
Agents Scully and Mulder.  Make certain you have your 
birth certificates with you.  You will be undercover.  You 
will go and apply for a marriage license and then have a 
ceremony at the chapel.  From there, you will go to the 
main honeymoon suite.  Since the two of you fit the profile 
perfectly, I anticipate that an attempt will be made on your 
life...."

"What backup will we have, Sir?" inquired Mulder.

"None.  You are on your own.  The locals know only that I 
am sending two agents, not when and not who.  It's better 
that way.  For all we know, one of them my be involved."

"Okay," agreed Mulder immediately.  "Hey, Scully, you get 
to marry me at the Elvis Chapel and we get to spend our 
honeymoon at Elvis Lives!.  At government expense too.  
Now what more could a woman ask for.  Talk about 
heaven....."

Walter Skinner turned his attention to Dana Scully.  It was 
time to interrupt the teasing before Scully started spitting 
nails.  She looked as though she were ready to let the firing 
commence and Dana Scully was one hell of a shot.  Unlike 
her partner, she didn't lose her gun either.

"Agent Scully, a part of the reason why I am sending you 
two is because I know I can rely on you to keep the 
situation under control and to act in a professional manner.  
I know that I do not have to worry about any sort of 
indiscretion from you."

"Yes, Sir," she said politely, but his words just pissed her 
off more.  She wanted to ask him why he didn't just come 
right out and say it.  "I'm sending the FBI Ice Queen cause I 
know she won't f**k her partner."  Grrgh.

Scully sat there and fumed.  She looked at the grin on her 
partner's face and fumed a little harder.  Basically he was 
on top of her shit list right now to begin with.  He owed her 
three dinners at nice restaurants for bets he had lost and 
always found an excuse not to take her.  Then, she had 
walked into one of said restaurants the other night with a 
friend only to see him sitting there with a good looking 
brunette.  He definitely wore the expression of a man who 
expected to get laid that night.  So, for that matter, did the 
woman.  Scully had taken her friend's arm and had told her 
she wanted to leave before he had seen them.  Then, he had 
foisted all the reports for the last case off on her, and now 
he was making no attempt whatsoever to get out of this trip 
so that she could take her much needed vacation.

"Sir, I....." It was now or never.  Since Mulder wasn't going 
to, she would have to speak up.

"I am aware that you had put in for leave, Agent Scully, but 
this takes precedence.  Consider it a personal favor to me.  
Now, I trust you have something appropriate to wear for a 
marriage ceremony that will conceal your weapon."  He 
smiled at her.  She was unimpressed.

"I think I can figure out what to wear to my own wedding," 
she snapped a bit more harshly than she intended.  
"Something black ought to be suitable in this case...."  She 
got up to leave.  "Will that be all,. Sir?"

"No," he said handing her a box.  "Rings for the 
ceremony....."

"Pulled off a corpse no doubt," she muttered.

"Property of the FBI.  Don't lose them.  I expect you to keep 
in touch and give me full reports.  And Mulder, by the book 
on this one, and stay the hell out of trouble will you?"

"Yes, Sir...right, Sir...by the book.  No trouble...no 
indiscretions...you know me, Sir...."

"Unfortunately Agent Mulder, I do....all too well.  Good 
Day."

The two of them walked out the door. Well, judging by 
Scully's mood, this was either going to be a brilliant 
success or a dismal failure.  He hoped for the later or his 
ass was going to be grass with more person than just one.


The Next Day


Dana Scully was not a happy camper, no not at all.  The 
flight to Vegas had been miserable.  It had left at the crack 
of dawn.  There had been twin monsters, age about two, 
sitting behind them kicking the seats the whole time and 
having tantrums.  The mother had not been cooperative 
when asked to restrain her little darlings. They had stood in 
line for the marriage license for nearly an hour.  During 
that entire time, Mulder had had his hands on her, his arm 
around her.  He had nuzzled the back of her neck and 
whispered things in her ear. 

He had whispered beautiful things such as, "Hey, Scully, 
you better get into the role here or Skinner will skin you 
alive.  Um....what's the matter, Scully, wrong time of the 
month....Hey, Scully, maybe I should have let Tooms eat 
your liver while I had the chance.  He might have died right 
there of indigestion and saved us all some trouble."  Well, 
she supposed that he had a point.  They were supposed to 
be in love, but he sure was giving her itchy fingers....not an 
itchy trigger finger....not quite yet....but she could think of 
an area that she could reach and if she squeazed real 
hard........No...maybe it was her knee that itched....one good 
knee in that same area would shut him up for a long time or 
at least limit what was coming out of his mouth to 
screams.....

Worse, there wasn't a damned thing she could do about the 
itch or the situation. He was undercover and there was no 
one she could report him to at that moment.  She couldn't 
exercize her fantasies in such a public place either.  He 
would probably press charges.  He could always claim that 
he was just doing his job with the way he was acting.  
Finally they got their marriage license from an obnoxious 
clerk who seemed to find the name Fox hilarious.  She had 
to physically restrain her partner from punching him when 
the  woman cracked her gum loudly and said in a voice that 
was decidedly grating, "Hey, so, if you are a Fox, does that 
make her a Foxette."  Jeez.

Dana suddenly found herself standing on the sidewalk 
waiting for the limo to pick them up and take them to the 
Elvis Chapel.  She was wilting in the 110 degree heat wave.  
He was so hyped, she didn't even think he had noticed the 
heat. Supposedly the driver was getting the car, but he had 
been gone for 20 minutes already.

"Hey, look Scully," said Mulder slipping his arm around 
her waist.  "There is another one.  Think it's an epidemic or 
something."

Scully moaned inwardly.  During the time that they had 
been standing there, he seemed to have spotted record 
numbers of pregnant women. What was causing him to 
notice was beyond her, but then again, he probably knew he 
was being annoying.  If Mulder could find a way to annoy, 
he would.  She suspected that the tendency was genetic and 
found herself telling him that the aliens had probably taken 
his sister because they couldn't stand the thought of having 
him around.  Or, better yet, maybe she could tell him that 
Samantha had begged to be taken because she needed to 
get away from her brother.  That would have been just a 
little too cruel though so tempted as she was, she kept her 
mouth shut.

"Something to do with the heat maybe," she replied dryly 
instead in an attempt to be civil telling herself that she was 
supposed to look like a happily engaged woman.  The 
woman he had pointed out looked about 11 months along 
and ready to pop any second.  The poor soul had Dana's 
sympathy.  They said it was miserable to be pregnant in the 
heat.  She sighed.  Well, she'd never know.  That required a 
man, and hell, she couldn't even get a date.  That Ed Jerse 
had been so attractive he had just about made her blood 
boil.  She had come back from that tattoo parlor ready to 
throw her good Catholic upbringing aside and spend a wild 
night in the sack with him, a total stranger she had picked 
up.  Getting that tattoo had done something to her.  It had 
made her so damned horny she had been about ready to 
jump him,  but it hadn't worked out.  He had kissed 
her...and then well....all the spunk had gone out of him and 
she had spent the night in his bed alone and almost fully 
dressed.

"Yeah...the heat...I'd say heat has a lot to do with it...."  
Suddenly both his arms were around her and a hand lay 
across her belly, "Who knows, G woman, maybe nine 
months from tonight you'll look just like that......"  His lips 
were against her ear and he nuzzled her.  

"Oh, and is there going to be an immaculate conception 
tonight, Mulder?" she inquired sweetly escaping his grasp 
and telling herself that the thought did not send shivers 
down her spine. Not the thought of an immaculate 
conception but the regular kind with lots of passion.  
"Down, boy.  Here comes the driver...."  Damn Mulder 
anyway.  He had set out to drive her nuts on this trip and he 
was doing a damned good job. He knew it too.   When 
Mulder was enjoying himself, there was no hiding it. 

"Walk in front of me gorgeous, or you'll be embarrassed."  
She flashed him a look and said that she wouldn't be 
embarrassed in the least if he was so goddamed stiff he had 
to crawl to the limo.  His reply...."I love you, sweetheart."


The Elvis Chapel


Dana Scully tried not to shudder visibly although it was 
obvious that Mulder was in his glory.  If he were really 
getting married, she knew, this is exactly where he would 
want to be...well unless it was in Roswell New 
Mexico....maybe.  It was gaudy and tacky and Mulder 
really did love Elvis.  He had just about laughed himself 
silly that night several months ago when he had dragged 
her to see that stupid movie Men In Black when K had 
informed J that Elvis hadn't died, he had just gone home.  
This whole nightmare was just Mulder's style.  Well, maybe 
one day he would find some unsuspecting female to drag 
out here and marry for real.  She looked at the flowers in 
her hand.  Well, at least they were beautiful....peach 
colored roses, expensive and her favorite, done up with 
Baby's Breath and white ribbon.  

They were approached by three men.  One stood all of 
about 5'2" and was dressed in a Tux.  He was bald with 
very thick glasses and had  a definite rodent like 
appearance.  At first she thought of a rat, but then she 
realized that he had big, no huge, ears and reminded her 
more of this ugly Chihuahua puppy her sister had adopted 
once.  He was flanked on either side by two outsized Elvis 
impersonators in sequined suits and sun glasses.  One had a 
beer belly that would have done Elvis proud.

"You must be the happy couple," he smiled unctuously 
holding out his hand to Mulder.  "These are our official 
witnesses Elvis and Pelvis and I am Richard F. Tool.  You 
can call me Reverend Dick."

Scully heard Mulder start to choke and with her high heel 
leaned back into the arch of his foot.  Hard.  This was a 
time for self control even if she did want to role on the 
floor laughing.   Oh God, here she was in this tacky chapel 
getting married to the world's biggest asshole by a guy 
named Dick Tool who looked like her sister's Chihuahua 
with glasses.  She did what she had frequently done as a 
little girl with something to hide.  She pretended she was 
on of Ahab's favorite TV characters, Mr. Spock.  She took 
the proffered hand while Mulder spluttered.  It was sweaty.  
Well, pathologists had to have strong stomachs.  Hell, she 
had cut up Leonard Bett's head....well one of them anyway.

"Nice to meet you, Reverend Dick," she said in deadly 
earnest.  "Um...please forgive my pa.....fiance here.  He's 
nervous."

"Yes, of course....the men usually are young lady.  Let us 
get on with the ceremony.  There is another wedding 
booked in 10 minutes."  Reverend Dick thought to himself 
that this certainly was a lovely couple, very beautiful, but 
there was something unusual about them.   Perhaps it was 
the fact that she was so poised and he looked like such a 
jerk....handsome but an idiot none the less.  That 
grin.....and the way he had tried to comb his hair like 
Elvis..... Well, the ring wasn't going to be the poor bastard's 
finger for long.  It was going to be right through his 
nose....Redheaded women had fierce tempers, and this one 
looked like the real thing.

The ceremony was very brief and Dana found herself 
wondering why her voice shook as she placed the ring on 
Mulder's fingers.....With this ring I thee wed......His voice 
had shaken as well when he had said them, as had his 
hands.  She looked up at him and had to look away.  There 
was something about the way he was gazing at her in a way 
he never had before, as though he were filled with a deep 
longing.  Well, whatever it was, the longing couldn't be for 
her.  She had to admit it.  She had been bad and had 
snooped and had found out that he had been seeing the 
woman in the restaurant for awhile.  It looked as though it 
might be serious.  Perhaps he was having fantasies that it 
was her he was with now and not his partner.  It didn't 
matter...not at all...they were merely co-workers, nothing 
more, and one of them might as well have a life of some 
sort....

She realized then that he was kissing her.  Somehow she 
had gotten so lost in thought she hadn't realized that the 
ceremony was over, had never thought about the kiss that 
traditionally followed.  She put her arms around his neck 
and tried to fight her body's response to the touch of his lips 
against hers and then she broke away.  

She found that she was desperately thirsty and was glad 
that their room was only an elevator ride away and that the 
good old Reverend Dick was rushing them out of the 
chapel.  If her partner had kissed her for much longer, she 
didn't know what she would have done.  If the kiss had 
continued, or if his tongue had gone any deeper into her 
mouth, they might have had to arrest her for lewd conduct.  
Even in Vegas, going down on someone in public, even in 
the Elvis Chapel was probably illegal.


End of Chapter One

"Viva Las Vegas and All That" Chapter Two
by Macspooky


The check-in line at the hotel would try the Pope's patience 
it was so long, and somehow Dana ended up with the chore 
while Mulder walked around and gaped.  She nearly blew 
their cover by asking for the room in the name of Scully, 
but catching her error quickly, she smiled sweetly and said 
to  the clerk.

"I'm so sorry.  I meant Mulder.  Mrs. Mulder.  I have to get 
used to my new name."

He turned away and rolled his eyes.  He hated this "effin" 
job, hated young lovers, hated newlyweds.  A pain in the 
ass...that's what they all were.  The little redhead was kind 
of pretty though.  She looked like a natural redhead, the 
kind he really liked because she had only a smattering of 
freckles across her nose and cheeks, and she had incredible 
eyes.  He could think of a few things he would like to do 
with her......

After a rather long delay that Mulder didn't seem to notice, 
they finally found themselves and their luggage in an 
elevator heading up to the main honeymoon suite.  Three 
out of the four murders had taken place there although no 
one was talking about it.  The fourth murder had taken 
place next door.  The couple had been unexpectedly moved 
from the suite due to a plumbing problem, but that hadn't 
stopped the killer.  Each of the female victims had been a 
redhead and three out of the four had been raped.  Scully 
had noticed something in the file but hadn't been able to 
place it until she stepped into the elevator.   The one victim 
who had not been raped had been a bottled redhead, not a 
natural.  The photo had revealed about a quarter inch of 
brown root.  It was subtle but it was there.  She wished she 
had been the one to do the autopsy.  It might have been 
caught sooner.  It was almost as if the killer had noticed 
and the woman had suddenly lost her appeal.  Thinking 
about it, Scully shuddered.  She then proceeded to inform 
Mulder of her insight.  She wasn't even sure he was paying 
attention.

They had to go all the way to the top floor and Mulder 
found himself thinking that the damned elevator was as hot 
as it was outside, and slow as molasses to boot.  Nothing 
had gone right on this trip and his foot still bore the imprint 
of her high heal.  It throbbed.  Of course, he had been about 
to laugh himself silly........The Reverend Dick...jeez...and 
worse yet the man had seemed to glory in it.!  He looked at 
his partner.  God, she looked pretty in the pale yellow 
cotton dress that she had worn for the wedding  with the the 
jacket that concealed her gun.    In spite of the heat she had 
looked crisp and clean and throughout that stupid ceremony 
he had been very aware of the subtle scent of her perfume.  
As usual there was not a hair out of place.  She was 
sweating now though.  And, she was not happy.  He had 
known that something was bothering her for some time.  
He had no idea what it could be. He knew it wasn't just this 
case although it might be the kind she would have a 
difficult time with.  A few months ago he could have 
understood her mood, yes, but not now, not when she was 
feeling so well and putting back some of the weight she 
had lost.  She should have been happy, but she wasn't.  He 
was concerned.  He had wanted to discuss it with her, but 
every time he tried she shut him out. 

There were days when she acted even worse than she had 
before she had met that creep in the tattoo palour in 
Philadelphia and she had been a real bitch before he had 
sent her to Philly on that case.  At that time, she had had a 
reason for unhappiness although he hadn't known it.  She 
had suspected that she was ill.  Now he couldn't imagine 
what the reason could be for her mood.  She had wanted to 
go on vacation to Maine, of course, but she had canceled 
other vacations before.  Lately, she seemed to want her own 
way all the time, and she shot down everything he did or 
said.  In effect, she had become something of a shrew.  The 
arguments they had weren't even fun anymore.  He sighed.  
She was making observations about the rape of the victims.  
Smart....his partner....he hadn't picked up on it 
either...no...the fact that one of the redheads had not been 
natural and that victim had not been raped had never 
occured to him.  

He had to admit to himself that he had not wanted Dana to 
go to Maine because he had been afraid that she would not 
come back and that he would lose the best partner he had 
ever had.  He couldn't focus on the case, only on his fear 
that it was all falling apart.  There was always hope that 
this mood she was in would pass and he would have the old 
Dana back, the one his life, which, let's face it, was his 
work, would be meaningless without.

The elevator finally arrived at the top floor and he picked 
up the bags. Dana  followed him down the hall to room 
1507, the honeymoon suite, wondering how he managed to 
look so cool and unperturbed.  She supposed it was 
adrenaline.  His had sure been flowing.  He certainly had 
been obnoxious since the moment he had seen this file in 
Skinner's office.  He was going to drive her crazy this time.  
He hadn't missed a tacky Elvis reference in the hideous 
lobby which had been decorated in faux "Blue Hawaii."  
She had barely been able to keep from gagging.   Dana 
remembered "Elvis" week on TV from her childhood with 
a shudder.  Her mom and dad would sit in front of the 
television if Ahab was home, their arms around each other 
and devour the old films.  Missy seemed to love them too 
and would sit on her dad's lap.....Blue Hawaii had been her 
favorite and she had always told her dad that one day she 
would have her own honeymoon there.  It hadn't happened 
of course.  There had been no honeymoon for Missy.

She was so lost in thought once again that she didn't realize 
that he already had the hotel room door open.  Suddenly he 
lifted her off her feet.

"What the hell are you doing?" she asked him with a scowl.

"I'm carrying my new bride over the threshold, Mrs. 
Mulder," he said with an evil grin parking a kiss wherever 
he could land one and stepped inside.  

She was saved having to retort by the fact that he hadn't 
taken three steps when he burst out with, "Oh, wow....." and 
dropped her.  His arms literally went limp as his mouth 
dropped open and she found herself on the way to the 
ground.  She landed with a thud, but he stepped over her 
trying to gaze in all directions at once.  Muttering, she got 
up.  She was going to have bruise on her ass the size of 
Wyoming.  Then she looked around.

Elvis was everywhere....literally.  The bed was huge and 
around covered with a black velour spread on which Elvis 
in his younger days was painted.  His face bore a shit eating 
grin that made Scully want to pull her gun.  Above it was a 
huge black velvet painting of all of Elvis's guitars.  It was 
too gaudy for words.  All the furniture, she suspected, were 
copies of things found at Graceland, totally tasteless of 
course, and then there was the piece de resistance, the full 
sized Elvis statue that stood beside the bed gazing down at 
it, complete with later stage paunch and white sequined and 
studded suit that hid nothing .  He....it....even held a 
shocking pink electric guitar in one hand.  Mulder muttered 
something about having read about these special statues.

Dana shuddered.  She shuddered, and then for some reason 
that she didn't entirely understand, she forgave her partner 
for dropping her.  He was like a kid in a candy shop....a 
sweet little boy who had found a magical place to call his 
own.  If his magic was Elvis, then who was she to argue.  
After everything they had been through, it was a testament 
to him that he could still find some.  Her heart was hard.  
She had turned into a shrew and a woman who didn't seem 
to be capable of caring about anything anymore.   There 
was no more magic left in the world for her or at least that 
is the way it seemed most of the time.  She had even 
thought about taking antidepressants but had decided 
against it.  She would have to work it out, find a way to 
accept this new Dana Scully, and she didn't want to do it 
through a medication haze.

The moment of tenderness passed quickly however when 
he pushed buttons on the Elvis statue.  She heard a thunk 
and hoped it was something to drink.  No...the thunk hadn't 
been loud enough.  Where had it come from anyway?  To 
her astonishment Elvis's paunch opened up and Mulder 
pulled out a box.  He held it up and examined it as though 
he had found some kind of treasure.  Then with a grin he 
turned to her and tossed it in her direction.

"Pretty neat stuff," he said.  She caught it and looked.  Oh, 
God....condoms....pink dayglo ribbed condoms....vanilla 
flavored no less.... marked "Extra Large" with a notice 
attached saying "Compliments of the management which is 
not responsible for any accidents."

He waggled his eyebrows.  "It's the large economy size, 
Scully, in every way."

She tossed the box on the black velvet bedspread in disgust.   
"Are you implying that you need the large economy size, 
Mulder, because remember I've seen you naked."

She knew the remark was spiteful.  It was a part of the new 
Dana Scully. She sighed.  She couldn't seem to control 
these nasty barbs and she wasn't even sure that she wanted 
to.  She wished the twitching in her groin would stop.  Four 
years.  It had been four years.  No, more than four years.  
No dates, no social life...no sex.  As a doctor she knew it 
didn't grow shut but sometimes........

He ignored her although the word bitch came to 
mind......"What's the matter, Scully?  Don't you like your 
men to glow in the dark?" he inquired pushing another stud.  
"I thought it came with the X-Files." 

This time Dana heard a louder thunk  and when the paunch 
opened, her partner pulled out a bright red can.  Apparently 
this was a very talented Elvis.

Mulder popped the top and turned around to see his partner 
standing over him ready to break his skull.  She had hopped 
up on the bed while grabbing the 24 inch complimentary 
Elvis statue provided by the management and was now 
threatening to brain him with it.

"Drink that and you are a dead man, Mulder," she 
promised.  "I don't give a shit what you do with the extra 
large day glo condoms but that coke is mine......"  She had 
been getting more desperately thirsty by the moment.  She 
had wanted to stop for a drink in the lobby but he had 
refused her request. The hell with the Spock act.  There 
was a time for control and a time for action.  This was a 
time to be Captain Kirk.

"All you had to do was say please," he muttered handing 
her the can.  "And that statue is mine by the way."  He 
watched as she eased herself off the bed and chugged  back 
the soda at a phenomenal rate.  Finally putting her weapon 
down she handed him the can.  He sighed with relief.  He 
would never admit that she had been right when she had 
wanted to get something to drink before coming upstairs.  
He was thirsty too.  He also wanted that statue.  Oh yeah, it 
was really tacky and everything, but he had actually bought 
one when he had been at Graceland only his partner had 
ticked him off long distance and he had left it in his motel 
room when he had come home.  He had been really pissed 
off too.

"Thanks," he muttered.  He took one swig.  That was all he 
got and it wasn't even a very big one.  The damned can was 
empty.  He pushed buttons and banged on Elvis but the 
only other thing forthcoming was a bag of potato chips and 
a chocolate bar which Scully promptly snatched and put in 
her purse.

"I'm hungry," she announced.

"Well, we are supposed to be on stake out here, Scully."  
He didn't want to leave the room.  Hell, he hadn't even 
explored the bathroom yet.  He was about to suggest room 
service....No...the hell with her.  It was worth going hungry 
himself just annoy her.  Let her stay hungry for awhile.

"Mulder, I don't think the killer is going to strike now.  I 
haven't eaten since this morning.  I want dinner and I want 
it now."

"But......I figured that dinner was what you just stole from 
me and put in your purse."  She was whining.  He hated it 
when women whined.  One of the things that was so special 
about her was that she never had..until lately.

"Mulder......"

"Oh, okay, but only if you tell me you have quarters for the 
vibrating bed later....."  He gave in because that Mulder had 
not been said in a whining tone and he remembered 
suddenly a time when she had had no appetite and had 
needed to be enticed to eat anything at all.

"Yes, Mulder, I have quarters for the vibrating bed....Now 
let's go."  For what this suite cost they wouldn't need 
quarters for the bed.  Besides, the damn thing was supposed 
to vibrate without electricity anyway.  It was supposed to 
be a damned honeymoon suite, not one of the cheap motels 
her partner always chose.....

The went to the Elvis Lives! premier dining room after an 
argument.  Mulder had wanted the coffee shop but she 
informed him in no uncertain terms that she was going to 
have a decent meal....lobster and white wine....The thought 
of lobster hadn't entered her mind until he had started to 
argue about where they would eat, but suddenly it had 
become important.

"Jesus, Mrs. Mulder," he muttered looking at the menu.  
"You live right near the Eastern Shore of Maryland and you 
want lobster here in Nevada?  You are going to triple the 
national debt here, Scully.....Skinner is never going to 
approve that sort of expenditure."

"Fine...then you can pay for it," she informed him.  "As I 
recall you owe me a few...."

"Meow...."

The lower lip came out and she looked pouty.  "If you 
loved me, Fox, you would buy me anything I wanted for 
dinner.  I mean, it is our wedding night after all and you 
want to try to get me in the mood right...."  Two could play 
games.  She touched his hand with her index finger and 
looked oh so very female and helpless.  It was definitely 
not Scully's style and he thought it might make him lose his 
appetite.  Oh, God, she was batting her baby blues......thank 
God no one was casting for Scarlet O'Ohara.....  

"For what?  That immaculate conception you were waxing 
so ecstatically about earlier?" he inquired sarcastically.

"Look, Mulder, you owe me three goddamed dinners and 
now it's payback time," she snarled.   She forced herself to 
smile and touch his hand  again as a waiter walked by.  
They were supposed to be lovers.  He sighed with relief.  
That was more like Scully.

"Okay, but this clears our restaurant debt," he said feeling 
somehow that he had one upped her on this one.  Now he 
wouldn't have to sit through a meal at that godawful French 
restaurant in Georgetown that she liked....and that Lisa 
tended to be in.  He pushed thoughts of Lisa away quickly.  
Boy had he misread that one.  He had thought that she 
would be a good lay....a little slow to warm up but....Hell, 
he had known she wanted it and badly...but it turned out 
she had been playing games with him.  She had more on 
her mind that the sack.  Truth be told, she had had a gold 
band on her mind.  He rubbed his left hand ring finger.  It 
suddenly felt weighted down and this wasn't even real.  

"It's a deal, Fox," she smiled prettily and enjoyed watching 
him wince at the use of his first name.   She didn't want to 
go to Chez Pierre with him anymore anyway.  It had been 
ruined the night she had seen him there with that woman.

She sipped white wine and ate lobster tail dipped in real 
butter daintily as her new "husband" downed the Elvis 
special, and wondered where the heck he managed to put it 
all, fried chicken, mashed potatoes with hot spicy gravey, 
corn bread....vegetables...and even a fried banana and 
peanut butter sandwich, all in large enough portions to feed 
a third world nation and it was all disappearing.  Perhaps 
they had left a hole in his leg that time he had been shot 
when they were on the Luther Lee Boggs case....

Mulder looked up briefly to see her lick a bit of butter off 
her upper lip and felt his groin tighten.  God, she looked 
sexy when she did that in spite of the conservative yellow 
dress she had worn for their "marriage" or maybe it was 
because it was so conservative.  Not for the first time he 
wondered what she would be like in the sack.  Probably 
well....like her wardrobe, like her home.....her car....her life.  
God, but she was beautiful though, conservative or 
otherwise, and maybe if you loved a woman enough it 
wouldn't matter if they weren't wild.  He pushed the 
thought away quickly.

The maitre'd approached.  "Mr. and Mrs. Mulder?" he 
inquired graciously.

"What no....um I mean...yeah...that's us," her partner 
managed.

"This was delivered for you.  We thought it might be 
important to you."

Scully took a big gulp of the wine wondering what lovely 
sight she was going to see.  The envelope was marked 
"Photos, do not bend."  Autopsy snap shots sent by Skinner 
perhaps....more pictures of the victims in situ with the 
blood smeared over the walls.  She had been enjoying the 
lobster. Moreover she had been enjoying the fact that Fox 
Mulder was paying for the lobster.  Suddenly she wasn't 
finding it so pleasureable anymore.  She watched as an odd 
smile crossed her partner's face.  He flipped through a 
series of five 8 by 10's and then he passed them over to her.

"Hey, Mrs. Mulder, we can show these to the kiddies one 
day."  She gave him a dirty look and took the pictures.  Oh, 
God, they were wedding pictures.  She hadn't been aware of 
anyone snapping them, but then her mind had been 
elsewhere.  She supposed they had been part of the package 
wedding that Skinner had arranged.  It was so annoying the 
way he insisted on calling her Mrs. Mulder and acting as 
though this was real.  If it had been the two of them would 
have been happy sitting there.  They would have shared the 
can of coke and he would have willingly bought her 
dinner....whatever she wanted because he loved her...and 
she, well she would have watched the budget because she 
loved him......She forced her mind back into focus.  There 
was something about this one picture as he had been 
slipping the ring on her finger.....that look  on his 
face....that handsome face with the nose that was just a 
little too large and the chin that was just a little weak that 
all blended together into such a familiar  and attractive 
whole...  

"The flowers were so pretty," she said softly.  "Did you 
pick them?"  She didn't suppose he had, but it was a nice 
thought.  It would have been so nice to hear him say that he 
had because they were beautiful like her.....

"Who me?  Nah.....what the hell do I know about picking 
flowers.  I suppose Skinner had Kimberly put the whole 
thing together.  Why?"

"Nothing....no reason....it's just that peach roses are my 
favorite....that's all..."  She carefully hid her 
disappointment.  Once she had thought that perhaps he 
found her pretty, but she didn't think so anymore.  She told 
herself it didn't matter anyway.

"Oh," he said stupidly.  He hadn't known that, but it dawned 
on him suddenly that his partner wished he had. For some 
obscure reason, she had wanted to hear that he had picked 
the flowers, that they hadn't been included in the package 
deal and that he had done something special for her.  Well, 
he would have lied but he hadn't known....no...he wouldn't 
have lied.  She always caught him when he did that.  The 
thing is he had only brought her flowers once, the day he 
had called her from the oncology center at Holy Cross 
hospital and those he had picked up hastily running in the 
door.  Well, thank God that was over.

He told himself that it was time to get back into work 
mode. Suddenly however, the band that had been tuning up 
the background started to play "Can't Help Falling in 
Love."  He had always been one of his favorites from 
"Blue Hawaii" and he had always thought it might be 
wonderful to be in love and dance with "his" woman to that 
song.

"Wanna dance?" he asked suddenly wanting to feel her in 
his arms but  half hoping she would say no.  He would just 
step on her feet.  Of course, after the heel in his arch, she 
deserved it, but then he would feel like an idiot if he did. 

Dana looked at him and for a moment her face softened.  
She looked at him with such hope and love in her eyes that 
he suddenly became frightened, suddenly felt like an 
adolescent boy afraid to hold hands with his first date.

"It will look good for our cover," he added quickly breaking 
eye contact and spluttering, not knowing what to do with 
his hands.

Disappointment crossed her face for just an instant.  He had 
the feeling that somehow he had just managed to break her 
heart.  She had wanted him to want to dance with her.  Of 
course, she didn't know that he had three left feet...or at 
least felt like he had.

"No, Mulder, just get the check.  We have work to do.  We 
always have work to do..."  She sighed.  When he slipped 
his arm around her to lead her out of the restaurant she 
didn't protest, but the moment they were back in the room, 
she slipped out of his grasp and told him that he could start 
going over the files again while she took a shower.  He 
raised his hand in a mock Nazi salute and muttered "Ja 
wohl meine Fuhrette...."  That got him another scathing 
look as she grabbed her small cosmetic bag and ducked 
into the bathroom.

End Chapter Two


"Viva Las Vegas and All That" Chapter 3
by Macspooky


When she came out of the shower she felt definitely 
refreshed.  The single glass of white wine she had at dinner 
had calmed her nerves and she had drank enough ice water 
so that she no longer felt dehydrated.  She had looked 
longingly at the heart shaped hot tub in the huge bathroom, 
but there wasn't much point in soaking in that if there was 
no one to soak with.  Besides, they were working.  This 
wasn't a pleasure trip.  She ran the comb through her hair 
and fluffed it with her fingers.  It would dry into casual 
natural waves.  Then she slipped into her nightgown and 
brushing her teeth went back to the bedroom.

Mulder had the files open and the TV on...a boxing match 
judging by the sounds.  Oh, God, did she hate that 
barbarity.  What stopped her in her tracks, however, was 
Mulder lying on top of the bed. He had removed the Elvis 
spread and he was stretched out in all his glory, and it was 
a lot of glory, on red satin sheets wearing nothing but a pair 
of black silk boxers.  Scully was so damned cranky he had 
decided that he might as well continue to annoy her.  
Teasing her could be a lot of fun when she got into her 
crabby mode.  And, she was really into it this time around.

She was just taking in the sight when he looked at her and 
burst out laughing.

"What?" she snapped.  "What the hell is your problem?"

"It's supposed to be our honeymoon, Mrs. Mulder.  Do you 
think you could have found a nightgown that covered a 
little more?"

"I like this nightgown," she informed him.  It was light 
green and cotton and had a high neck.  It was long on her 
and had 3/4 sleeves.  She parked herself on the bed and 
began reading over the files once again.

"There is a pattern here," she observed, "A pattern that we 
aren't seeing....."

"Decidedly Victorian," he muttered softly.

She looked up ignoring the remark. Mulder wasn't paying 
any attention.  He  was too busy denigrating her nightgown 
and her sexuality and watching the boxing match only it 
wasn't a boxing match after all.  It was women's wrestling.  
Those sleazy women were probably just his style.  

"I'm talking to you, Mulder," she said.  Nothing...no 
response.  Jeez.....She snatched the remote out of his hand 
and turned off the TV.

"Hey......" he protested.  "I was enjoying that...."

"I imagine you were.  Well, I hate that shit and pay 
attention damn it..."

"You know what.  You are a real bitch and your mouth is 
really going downhill this trip.."

"Sure, fine, whatever and my father was a sailor...." She 
sniffed.  "Mulder, go take a shower.  Your antiperspirant 
has really failed."

"Well, at least with you here it won't have to be a cold one," 
he said getting up and slamming his way into the bathroom.  
She gave him a dirty look and picked up the files.  Maybe if 
she read them just one more time....The trouble was that 
everyone had an iron clad alibi supposedly.  On the surface 
the questioning by the local police had appeared to be 
thorough.  She didn't like this...not one bit....She wanted to 
question the witnesses herself, but they were undercover 
and couldn't.  They were stuck here in this stupid hotel 
pretending to be on their honeymoon.  She sighed and 
placed her gun on the headboard where she could reach it 
easily if she had to.  Then she placed Mulder's on the other 
side.  She was feeling sleepy.  This was not good.  They 
were supposed to be on stake out here.  Well, she and 
Mulder would have to take turns staying awake.  Mulder 
never slept anyway.

He reemerged from the bathroom some time later this time 
dressed in a pair of Sylvester boxers.  The cat's mouth was 
open and he was about to pounce on Tweety who was 
located in a very logistical spot.  If he was trying to shock, 
he had, but she had had a lot of practice ignoring him, so 
with a face that was perfectly straight although she wanted 
to laugh, she looked at him and said, "Are you ready to go 
over these files now?"

The hour started to grow late.  Between the two of them 
they had found nothing else helpful in the files.  Mulder 
had grumbled about wanting to question the witnesses as 
well,  and they agreed that if the killer didn't make a move 
within two nights they would call Skinner and change 
tactics putting themselves in law enforcement mode.  It 
was about the only thing that they had agreed on in weeks.

Finally they slipped under the covers.

"Oh, my God," Dana heard herself say.  The satin sheets 
felt smooth and sensual but she ignored it.

"What?"

"There is a mirror on the ceiling."  She didn't want to admit 
it, but she had never made love to anyone under a mirror 
and a part of her had always kind of wanted to.  She hadn't 
had many lovers really, just one in med school, a man she 
had come close to marrying until  he had decided that he 
had a calling for the priesthood as well as medicine of all 
things.  Well, that had shocked the hell out of her although 
in retrospect she realized that it shouldn't have.  What the 
hell....she was Dana Scully.  Why should it surprise her 
when a man preferred celebacy to sex with her?  Of course, 
there had been Jack Willis too, but he had been pretty 
straight laced himself.  Both of her lovers had been real 
missionaries in one sense or another.  She had thought that 
Ed would be a wild lover....so instead he had nearly 
dumped her into a furnace while she was still alive.  Well, 
that was a variation she certainly had not anticipated when 
she had gone back to his dumpy apartment that night.

"So....don't you like to watch?" he inquired waggling his 
eyebrows.

"Watch what?  Watch  myself not sleep?  Jeez, Mulder..."

"Turn off the lights," he said.  Mulder decided he didn't 
want to get her started on her lack of dates.  Next thing she 
would be ragging on him again about how her whole life 
had become the X-Files.  Well that had been her decision, 
and he didn't want to hear it.

"We can't.  We have to see. What if I have to shoot 
someone?"

"Oh, for heaven's sake......"  He hit a couple of switches and 
the lighting changed.

"There you go, Mrs. Mulder.....moonglow....very romantic 
and you can still shoot the balls off of anything that 
moves.....tonight I will make the effort to lay very still." 

"Gee...thanks...."  She lay there staring for awhile.  He was 
right.  The bed was bathed in this nice romantic glow.  She 
could still see her reflection in the stupid mirror but it was 
muted.  Then she noticed something else.  In the dark, the 
plastic eyes of Elvis seemed to be watching her.  She didn't 
know why it gave her the creeps but it did.  Yes, she did 
know why.  Those  eyes reminded her of Donny Pfaster's 
eyes.  Stupid....illogical...but that was the way it was.  She 
still had nightmares about being locked in that closet in 
Donnie Pfaster's house.

"Mulder, he's watching..." she said.

"Who's watching?" he asked suddenly alert.

"Elvis...he's watching....."

"Scully,  Elvis is a statue.  Elvis is a condom dispenser and 
a refrigerator.  Elvis is a goddam snack bar. 
Interesting....tacky....unique....but not watching.  Let us not 
lose touch with reality here.  That is my job.  Remember, 
you are supposed to be the rational one here.  It is me who 
is crazy....Spooky Mulder....remember....."  God, he wanted 
to reach over and tickle her...do something to make her 
laugh, to wipe that picklepuss off her face.

"I don't care.  Those plastic eyes are following me 
everywhere."

"You aren't moving......oh....okay," he muttered.  She was 
going to drive him crazy.  He was still stinging from the 
remark about how she'd seen him undressed and how he 
smelled although she had been right about that.  In one 
quick motion he pulled off his Sylvester shorts and tossed 
them over Elvis' head.  "There....happy now...."

"Yeah....I love it when men toss their underwear all over 
the bedroom....."  What she was really thinking is that he 
was naked in bed next to her under those sheets and 
remembering just what he had looked like naked. "Don't 
you think you should put......"

"Okay, that's it," he said turning on his side and half sitting 
up.   The sheets slipped down a little more than he had 
intended.  He was really angry at her now.  "I'm sick of 
your whining."  

"My whining?" she inquired noticing his very flat abdomen.

"Yeah...you've been complaining since we got this case...."

"I didn't want this case.  You promised......"  He had a 
beautiful belly button.

"Scully, shut up. .......  Hey, you know what you need?  You 
need to get laid."  He couldn't believe he had actually said 
it.  It had come upon him in one of his fantastic leaps of 
intuition...the ones that had caused him to be labeled 
Spooky.

"Oh yeah...." She tossed back the covers and sat up.  "Well 
who the hell is going to do it.  You certainly aren't man 
enough."

That was a declaration of war.  They glared at each other.  
She was suddenly on her knees the expression on her face 
absolutely livid.  She was sick of his insults.  Sick of the 
fact that he didn't care enough about her to even want to 
take her for a decent meal after the horrible day she had 
had, sick of being ditched.  Sick of the broken 
promises....she had wanted to go to Maine and he had told 
her he would try to get out of this case.......

"What makes you think you are woman enough for me to 
want to, Scully?" he inquired.  The sheet slipped down a 
little further.  "We know you are the Ice Queen...."  He 
expected a slap and figured he probably deserved it. He 
knew those remarks hurt her.  Still.......

"Ice Queen....Ice Queen....I'll show you f**king Ice Queen, 
Mulder....." she muttered through clenched teeth.

"Oh, God....Oh God....the nightgown was off and she was 
kneeling there stark naked....naked and furious and 
beautiful and horny....yeah....horny.....Dana Scully was 
horny.  She had absolutely beautiful breasts and a small flat 
stomach and she was naked.  He started to ease away a 
little but before he knew what hit him, the covers were off 
and she had reached for the condoms and was tearing the 
package open with those perfect white teeth of hers.

She was a doctor....she was an expert....He had once 
accused of of liking to slap on the latex, but at the time he 
had had no idea of how quickly she could move.....and the 
damned things were tight too...yeah...extra large and tight 
and they really did glow....He was pink.  Oh God, he 
wanted to laugh, he should have laughed.  Under ordinary 
circumstances he would have laughed, but it was being 
buried to quickly....She was sitting on top of him and the 
glow was slowly sinking into the sunset....disappearing into 
the depths.....Okay okay so he was helping it along, helping 
it disappear so it wouldn't glo anymore and then reappear 
and disappear.

Dana knew she should stop herself, knew she should give 
into the laughter at the sight of the stupid day glo condom 
wrapped around her partner who was far more well 
endowed than she would ever admit to him.......but in a 
total act of rebellion, she did not....She made it disappear 
instead and there was no magic involved.  Well, actually 
there was magic but not of the sort that magicians did.

She leaned over him and looked into his eyes daring him to 
stop her.  Her hands were on his shoulders and he thought 
he had died and gone to heaven.  Then she looked up at the 
ceiling as though satisfying some sort of wild fantasy.  He 
looked up with her.  Her head was thrown back.  She was 
so beautiful, and so different in the throes of passion.  She 
was a screamer...oh yeah.....he liked screamers....liked 
them a lot, especially when they let out that final yell and 
he could....yes, there is was....and then in one swift motion 
he rolled her on her back pinning him under her where he 
thought she belonged at that moment.

She caught the motion in the mirror on the ceiling  as he 
shuddered and moaned and cried out her name....even in 
the aftermath of passion she was alert.  Too much had 
happened to her to ever really let down her guard.

"Mulder," she screamed reaching back with her gun with 
one hand.  Oh God, she was screaming 
again.....heaven...ecstacy...Mulder shuddered harder.....He 
hadn't known it was possible to shake so hard and live......

"Federal Agent....freeze....."  The blade of the knife was in 
the air descending on his back just like in the other killings 
and she fired.  The bullet hit the blade on the move and 
blew it out of the killers hand.  Elvis's head shattered all 
over the floor as she gave Mulder one mighty shove and 
leapt to her feet.

"What.....huh......" he asked sitting up bleary eyed.  He 
could have sworn he heard a gunshot and he had thought he 
was doing the only shooting.  Boy had he ever hit his target 
too....hard and straight....bull's eye.....

"The lights....Mulder....the goddamed lights....." she 
snapped.  He thought rather stupidly that she had just 
gotten laid and she was still giving orders but then the true 
import of what had just happened hit him.  She'd been 
doing some shooting too only it had been with real bullets.

There was his diminutive partner stark naked with her gun 
on the perp.  Oh, God....if it hadn't been so tragic it would 
have been funny......She was on her feet, her legs slightly 
spread  having come from full and satisfied mating mode 
into full law enforcement mode in a matter of seconds.

"The cuffs Mulder....I need the cuffs....."  He was slow to 
respond but in a moment the perp was cuffed and he pulled 
the ski mask off of the man's head.

"Well, well, well....." said Mulder, "if it isn't the Reverend 
Dick....."  He threw his head back and laughed 
uproariously.

"Not now, Mulder.  We have to get dressed....." she said 
already reaching for her nightgown with the gun still 
drawn....."And...." she said looking down at him....."Get rid 
of that useless pink piece of shit...."

He looked down too.  Piece of shit was right.  

End Chapter 3


"Viva Las Vegas and All That"
    by Macspooky with the help of
               GHill


Three Weeks Later


Mulder sat in Skinner's office alone.  Kimberly had shown 
him in and told him to wait, that Mr. Skinner would be 
right with him.  He was thoughtful.  He didn't view himself 
as particularly psychic, but he had a feeling that he hadn't 
been summoned to receive a commendation for work well 
done.

He was also worried.  By the time the hotel security guards 
had arrived to investigate noises coming from the 
honeymoon suite of Elvis Lives! he and 
Scully.....well...Scully had the situation under control.  
They both had clothes on and Reverend Dick had been read 
his rights.  The local police had been called and he thought 
everything would be okay.  He had actually hoped to spend 
a day or two in Vegas with Scully relaxing.  In truth, he had 
wanted to do more than just relax.  He had wanted to hold 
her and hug her, and make love to her the way she 
deserved, tenderly and gently, slowly and lovingly.  He had 
wanted to let her know how much he cared about her, and 
how difficult it had been to hold back all this time.  They 
had some things to work out, some major things, and he 
had wanted to do it then, but instead, she had left him with 
all the paper work as she had hopped a flight home without 
him.  

Then she had left a message that she was going to Maine.  
She had stayed there for 8 days without returning his calls.  
When she had come back, he had expected to see her 
looking well rested, but she didn't.  She looked tired and 
angry and upset.  Apparently, she had not been having the 
same lustful thoughts he had been having either.  He hadn't 
known how to react, so he broke the news to her harshly 
that they were going to have to file for a formal annulment 
paid for by the FBI of course and plopped the papers down 
on her desk with a thud demanding that she sign them 
immediately.  She had taken them and walked out of the 
office.  Thus far, they had not been returned and she had 
been working down at Quantico for the past few days as 
though she wanted to get away from him.  

The door opened and Kimberly admitted his partner.  She 
took a seat and sat primly giving him a cool nod that was a 
warning not to open his mouth.  He had already started to, 
but he shut it quickly and averted his gaze.

Dana looked at him.  He was so handsome.  Oh, God, how 
she had wanted him these past weeks, wanted to be with 
him, to tell him how she really felt about him.  Now that 
she was face to face with him though,  she just wanted to 
run away and thought perhaps she would as soon as this 
interview with Skinner was over.  It shouldn't take long.  
He would ream them out and dismiss them.

A few uncomfortable moments later, Skinner entered, and 
Mulder had the distinct feeling that the man had been 
leaving them there to sweat.  He looked grave and stern 
when he came in and sat down.  It was his patented, 
"Mulder, you are in deep shit and Scully can't get you out 
of it" look.  God only knew he had seen it enough over the 
years to know it by heart.

"I trust you had a nice vacation Agent Scully," the tough 
ex-Marine began.

"Yes, Sir...." she replied.  Her face said nothing, but 
Skinner noticed that she looked tired with dark circles 
under her eyes.  He hoped this was not a sign that she was 
ill again.

"I have summoned you here about the Reverend Richard 
Toole case," he began opening a folder.  The two agents 
noticed that although he looked grave for an instant he 
couldn't quite fight an upward quirk of the lips.  Mulder 
wondered how long he had had to practice the straight face 
after reading the name.

"Yes, Sir," said Mulder.

"On the surface it would appear that the two of you did 
some excellent work here."

"Thank you, Sir," said Scully not missing the "on the 
surface" part of his remark.

"However," added Skinner, "the good Reverend Dick, who 
got his degree from a mail order house by the way although 
it is still legal, has apprised us of a slightly different version 
of what happened....Do either of you have anything to say?"

"No, Sir," said Scully coolly.

"Let me quote him," continued Skinner.  "The female...the 
redhead....screamed....Mulder....There was a gun shot and 
the head flew off the Elvis Presley refrigerator.  She pushed 
the man off the top of her and jumped up naked as the day 
she was born...and pointed a gun.....sinners....they are 
sinners in the eyes of the Lord....their sin went so far that he 
was stopping God's creation with the use of a pink 
condom....."

Mulder started to choke.  Dana looked Skinner in the eye.  
"Would you believe anything that man said?" she inquired.  
"Did it occur to you that it might be the ravings of a 
lunatic?"  She only wished it were true.

"His sanity has yet to be ascertained by the experts, Dr. 
Scully.  I suggest you stick to your field which I believe is 
pathology.  In any event, when the police went over the 
scene, they found forensic evidence......"

"Oops," muttered Mulder knowing he was a dead man.  
You could lie like crazy in a report, but he had gotten 
careless with the physical evidence.

"Oops...." Dana felt herself explode.  She had had enough.  
"Did  you say oops?  I thought I told you to get rid of it....."  
Skinner sat back and crossed his arms.  It would appear 
Dana Scully's cool had finally be pierced.  He waited for 
the fireworks to begin.

"Goddamn it, Scully, you are the only woman I know who 
is as bossy after she gets laid as before....."

"Well, maybe if you'd think with your brains instead of 
your........." She stopped herself.  A shudder ran through her 
body.  No that wasn't fair.  That wasn't fair at all.  Oh yeah, 
he had teased her and all, called her Mrs. 
Mulder....pretended, but he had never tried to lay a hand on 
her....never given any indication that he expected or 
wanted.....On the other hand....he was the one who had 
taken off those boxers and thrown them over Elvis' head 
and called her the Ice Queen.....but no....that wasn't right 
either.  She had been a shrew during the entire case.....

"Think with my what, Scully?  As I recall it was you......" 
he began.

"You son of a bitch," she wailed suddenly.  "that damned 
useless pink condom wasn't the only evidence you left 
behind and don't even bother to ask me if I'm sure because 
one test said yes....one said plus and one turned blue and 
that means I'm goddamed sure.  Worse yet it's going to look 
like you and I'll be reminded for the rest of my life.....Oh, 
God....."  Her face had gone deathly pale...She looked 
around frantically.  Moving quickly she shoved Skinner and 
his chair out of the way but before he could react she had 
snatched his waste basket and violently threw up the 
breakfast she had forced herself to eat that morning.

The two men watched dumbfounded and concerned.  
Finally, her stomach empty, she mustered what dignity she 
could, and wiped her mouth and some tears from her eyes.  
She hadn't meant this official meeting to turn into a 
confrontation.  She had ruined her whole life...and now not 
only hers....

Then she handed Skinner an envelope she had taken from 
her purse.

"It wasn't Mulder's fault," she said to Skinner softly.  "This 
is a time for truth.  It was mine.  I got tired of being the 
goody two shoes that got sent on cases when my boss 
needed to be sure of absolute discretion.  This is my 
resignation.  Please do not put a reprimand in my partner's 
file.  Please, Sir....."

She turned to Mulder and walked over to him.  

"I just......I just wanted you to love me....and not that 
woman I saw you with in Chez Pierre's.  I wanted you to 
love me the way I love.......  After all these years.....I just 
wanted......but you can't force it....you just can't.  I have to 
go..."

She grabbed her briefcase and ran out the door before she 
could start to cry.

Mulder got to his feet and looked after her.  He was 
stunned.  She was telling them she was pregnant but that 
wasn't possible. Her eggs had been taken....or maybe they 
hadn't all been taken.  Maybe some....one had been left 
behind....... Skinner came around and put an arm on the 
man's shoulder.

"What are you gonna do, Mulder?" he asked.

"I.....I don't know, Sir," he said trying to control his 
shaking.  "Marry her I guess....if she ever calms down....."

"Do you love her?" asked Skinner.  The question was 
rhetorical.  He had long known the answer.

Mulder just nodded miserably.  Yeah, he had and for a very 
long time.  He hadn't wanted to acknowledge it though and 
had ignored all the signs that she might have fallen in love 
with him.  Some psychologist he was.  It occurred to him 
then that her bad mood had started around about the time 
he had met Lisa at Chez Pierre......He remembered the night 
clearly.  He had ended up at home alone with one of his 
videos...a major disappointment so to speak.

"Then it will all work out for the best," Skinner said 
quietly.  "Besides, technically you are already married.  I'll 
sit on this report as long as I can to buy you some time."

Mulder nodded and walked out the door not really hearing 
a word that Skinner had said.

Skinner grinned like a Cheshire cat when the door had 
closed.  End of partnership, and he hadn't even had to break 
them up.  He could tell Cancerman to go screw himself 
with  a Morley, and best yet the two agents he had such an 
affection for would be together no matter what.  The baby 
would fall under the protection of Albert Hosteen and his 
singers although that was a part of the outcome he had not 
foreseen.  Well, perhaps he was smarter than even he 
realized.


Several Hours Later


Mulder finally found her.  He had searched frantically for 
hours when it hit him squarely in the head where she could 
be found.  She was sitting quietly on "their bench" by the 
Potomac staring out over the water.  They hadn't been to 
that bench in a long time.  It had been a place where they 
met in secret to talk.

"Is this seat taken?" he asked quietly.  He expected a retort 
but she simply nodded wordlessly.  He sat down.  They 
were silent for a long time. He didn't know quite what to 
say.

She handed him an evelope.  It contained the annulment 
papers.  They were signed.  She had been so hurt when he 
had put them down in front of her her first day back that 
she had decided to make him sweat it.  She had planned to 
hold on to them until he begged.  Then she had realized 
that her period was late and she had started throwing up 
almost instantly.

"This doesn't do any good now," he said quietly.  "I've 
already started packing to move my things into your 
place....well one small suitcase anyway."  He grinned.  
"Your place is bigger than mine...for now anyhow....and 
you have a more comfortable bed."

She looked at him and for an instant she wanted to snap his 
head off. She opened her mouth to try but words just 
wouldn't come out.  What could she say?  It was her stupid 
rebellion in Philadelphia that had nearly gotten her killed 
and the same stupid rebellion that had gotten her into the 
predicament that she was in now.  It was all her 
fault...damn it.  She had already been hard enough on 
Mulder, harder than he had deserved.  She was nothing to 
him....nothing but a partner...and she had tried to make it 
more, tried and failed ruining everything in the process.   

"I've made such a mess of things....." she said finally softly.  
"I've never done that before you know.  I've always been 
logical and rational....and now....I've made such a mess...."

How did a man handle something like this?  There was 
nothing in the text books that prepared you for this sort of 
thing.  What was a man supposed to say?  He cleared his 
throat.

"Hey, Mrs. Mulder, it can't be that bad," he said gently.  "I 
mean it had to be the greatest sexual experience of your life 
right?  How many women do you know that get to blow 
Elvis' head off while screwing the  old Spookster?  
Anyway, it was the greatest experience of my life.  
Watching your wife blow Elvis away while she 
screams...Mulder....kinky, Scully.....real kinky.....better 
than being handcuffed to the bed."

He waited for her to hit him, but she didn't.  In fact, her lips 
actually quirked up a little as she looked at him and he 
hoped she might actually laugh, but she didn't. 

With a sigh he got to his feet and tearing up the papers 
tossed them in the river.  Sometimes a man had to be a man 
and do what was right.  He would try to work things out in 
a way that best for everyone if only she would let him.

"I'm so scared, Fox," she said softly.

He turned and saw that she was standing behind him 
looking small and vulnerable and a little lost, not like Dana 
Scully at all.  That was all it took.  He moved toward her 
and enveloped her in his arms.  She felt good there as 
though it was where she belonged.  He realized what a fool 
he had been.

"It's okay," he said softly.  "I'm scared too, but we can be 
terrified together and it will be alright.  Besides, the fear 
that you feeling now pales in comparison to what mine will 
be the first time I am confronted with a messy pampers."

"I'll take care of all that...." she said in a little girl voice. "I 
don't expect you to......."

"Oh, no, he said quietly.  "I was there too...remember?  
You've lost sight of something, Dana.  You've lost sight of 
the fact that it was an act of love on both our parts."  

She looked up at him briefly and he stroked her hair gazing 
into her eyes, and then she buried her head against him 
once again and if it was possible hugged him even more 
closely.

Suddenly her body started to shake and he grew worried.  
Was she going into shock? Was she going to breakdown 
entirely?  He loosened his hold on her and lifted her chin 
again expecting to see tears.  He did, but they were tears of 
laughter.

"What?" he asked.

"I was just remembering our first case together, Mulder," 
she said with a smile.  "You were such a jerk...."

"And you were such a prig...." he replied.  "Little Miss 
Priss......"

"Do you still think I'm a prig and a priss?"

"I have only one thing to say to that."

"What?"

"Viva Las Vegas, Scully.....Viva Las Vegas....." 


The End

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