From: "Trifan Incognito" <trifan_incognito@hotmail.com>
Date: Tue, 16 May 2000 23:54:52 MDT
Subject: All Heart's Desire
Source: direct

TITLE:  All Heart's Desire
AUTHOR:  Trifan
RATING:  17+
CLASSIFICATIOM: XRA-X-File/Romance/Angst
SPOILERS: everything's game up to and including "Closure" (pretty much just 
general stuff you'd know from the boards though)
SUMMARY:  Mulder makes some tough decisions for his life and his 
relationship with Scully.
DISCLAIMER: I am using the characters created by Chris Carter and owned by 
him, Fox, and 1013 productions. They aren't mine, and I have the itsy bitsy 
bank account to prove it. No copyright infringement intended.

**************************************************************

"Shoot a game of darts?"

Mulder looked up from his drink at the the young man. He was in no mood to 
analyze his intentions. Paranoia had saved his life more times than he could 
count. But paranoia could be burdensome. It choked the normalcy out of life 
and turned innocent gestures into death threats. Tonight Mulder needed to 
feel normal.

"Sure."

He'd never taken up darts really. But he was pretty much an all around 
athelete, a natural competitor. He wasn't the ruthless kind that would win 
at any cost though. Just driven to control his body. He hated *not* being in 
control. There was too much of that in his life.

The bar they were in was more of a pub actually. Dark wood, solid beams, a 
low ceiling and a scattering of antique sports memorabilia added to the 
atmosphere. The music was really low generic stuff, the kind you couldn't 
quite identify, yet it sounded familiar. People just talked in hushed tones 
here naturally. No one ever really stopped to wonder why.

The dark lighting could hide many secrets, Mulder thought as he followed the 
guy across the room to the boards. Maybe that was why he liked to come here. 
People didn't hang around here so much as shadows came alive.

He'd come to the bar tonight to forget who he was, who he had become. It's 
not that he didn't like what he saw when he looked in the mirror, just the 
opposite. Lately though, life hadn't held the challenge that it once had. 
And sometimes that image contorted itself and he wondered about his motives 
for doing the things he did.

In spite of himself, he began sizing up his adversary. The young man 
appeared to be in his early thirties. He was dressed all in black, from the 
leather jacket to the Brooks sneakers, clean cut. He could have been all 
american, probably had been. His life was more than likely speckled by 
trophies and awards. He had a look of confidence and an idealism to his eyes 
that spoke of his innocence.

There were times when he just couldn't stand to be around people. They 
hurried around like little ants in a world they trusted. Their naivity had 
almost cost them their lives. He couldn't help but resent the masses in some 
ways.

Mulder had fought for a world that resisted the help. He found every turn 
blocked and no one willing to help open the door. There was an irony in the 
fact that the only ones who lent credibility to his work were the very ones 
he needed to take down. In some twisted way he respected the men he had 
helped destroy more than the silent, complacent majority.

Even his partner, who has seen and experienced things no one ever should, 
would never fully ally herself with the truth. Although she might not always 
believe him, she always believed *in* him. Scully's belief allowed her to at 
least see the world through his eyes, though her demand for emperical 
evidence offered her the comfort she needed to sustain the illusion, the 
illusion that life was predictable.  Mulder always found it ironic that she 
clung to a catholic belief system for which there could never be any 
measurable confirmation. In a way though, it made sense. She needed that 
normalcy.

If truth was his religion, Scully was the pope. Her unwaivering belief in 
him is what made his life whole and gave it meaning. If not for Scully, he 
probably would have let the world meet a tragic end if for no other reason 
than to teach the masses a lesson in being priggish. That, or he would've 
switched sides just on principle.

Mulder lost the first game, but won the second. "Baseball" was one of the 
few dart games he knew. They didn't speak other than about the score, but 
the man he was playing with seemed to be making a connection with Mulder's 
every action. He seemed almost too eager to make eye contact in some ways. 
He thought fleetingly about the possibility that this man had mistaken this 
pub for the Black Rooster up the street. It was making Mulder uncomfortable.

He looked over Leather Jacket, sizing him up blatantly, suspiciously. There 
was something vaguely familiar about him. Leather Jacket seemed to be 
reading his mind in the look. Mulder instantly had a towering feeling that 
he knew what was coming out of this man's mouth next. He knew that whatever 
it was, conspiracy was a big part of it. It was the road he had travelled so 
many times. The road to truth, with all the bumps and blind potholes that 
came with it. He knew that one day his luck would run out and so would the 
road and poor noble Mulder would find himself careening over the edge of 
some abyss.

Mulder wasn't really surprised when the man reached over and took the darts 
out of his hands. He did it gently, knowingly, there was purpose to his 
every move. Like an idiot, Mulder just stared at his hands hoping that the 
darts had merely disappeared into thin air.

This was no random meeting. Mulder's mind was on full alert now, freely 
analyzing the stranger who was looking at him as though Mulder should know 
who he was and why he was here. It was as though he knew exactly the effect 
he was having, the chaos he was delivering to Mulder's door. He noticed that 
Leather Jacket held a sadness about him. Mulder felt resigned and sad in a 
strange kind of way himself.

"We have to talk Mulder." He wasn't surprised that the stranger knew his 
name.

Mulder was so tired of this shit. Suddenly he was tired of all of it. Tired 
of not fitting in. Tired of fighting the battle that no one really wanted 
him to win. Tired of paddling upstream against an ever raging current. Most 
nights his mind welcomed mystery. This night, he was in no mood to feed his 
paranoia.

"You have the wrong guy," he shot out as he turned to walk away.

"I don't think so," Leather Jacket stated simply. There was a calmness to 
his voice that caused Mulder to stop and turn back to look at him. Again he 
saw that same sadness and beneath that, a look of admiration. Adoration? 
Shit! Some MUFON nut!?

"Yeah, ya do." Mulder grabbed his coat and strode out of the bar.

He had the distinct impression that Leather Jacket was watching him as he 
got into his car and drove away. He was grateful that he'd only had one 
drink and didn't need to hail a cab which would have kept him at the mercy 
of the outside forces moments longer than he wanted to be. There was no such 
thing as "nolmalcy" he thought with disgust. He found himself with an 
incredible urge to call Scully.

"Hey Scully it's me."

"Hi.....what's up?" she asked when he didn't offer.

Mulder sighed. "Nothing really" he paused, "I ...just...." he couldn't 
finish. He didn't really know why he'd called her. She'd been sleeping. He'd 
known that she probably would be, despite the early hour on a Friday night. 
She had an incredible patience when it came to him. Almost angelic-like. She 
gently guided him through life with an unerring sense of morals and ethics. 
He needed to see her, to touch her, to have her stop him from starting off 
on the path that he knew would one day end in self-destruction.

She sighed, doing some sort of mental gymnastics. "See you in a few minutes 
then." They both hung up without saying goodbye. This was one of the things 
he liked best about her. She knew when to push, when to pull and when to get 
out of the way.

Scully pulled herself out of bed. She'd been tired, but she didn't really 
mind the interruption. The last few months had been hard on them both. There 
seemed to be something missing. Mulder had found the fate of his sister. He 
had helped bring down the global conspiracy that had plagued the world with 
an invisible threat from a seemingly invisible syndicate. They had lost 
everything in life but one another and their work, which were pretty much 
interchangeable most of the time. They both felt battle weary and war worn. 
They clung to one another as a means of staying sane.

There was really nothing she wouldn't do for him. That included telling him 
to stay away when he needed to as much as when she needed him to. But this 
wasn't one of those times. In just a few short words, she knew that he 
needed to be here and she needed to let him be here. She wasn't expecting 
any big revelations or long conversation. She knew that he just needed, for 
some reason, to be around her. Maybe she validated him in a way that nothing 
else could. She didn't know and didn't try to think about it as she pulled 
on some jeans and a v-neck top.

She looked at herself in the mirror as she ran a brush through her hair. She 
looked tired, whipped actually. She wondered about putting on some makeup 
but this wasn't really a social call.

They had a strange relationship. They were the best of friends, two parts of 
a whole. She loved him beyond life itself. Yet, somehow it wasn't sexual, 
despite the water cooler rumors. Her mind had flitted there occasionally, 
vaguely wondering about why it wasn't so. But deep down, she already knew. 
They needed one another like they needed air to breathe. Neither one of them 
could bring themselves to chance losing that air to a crossing of the line. 
It was mutual. It was understood. They shared a strong bond that excluded 
the world. If they ever did make love, it would probably be with the same 
intensity which could very well consume them both.

She didn't need any makeup.

When she opened the door, she looked at him and confirmed what she'd already 
suspected. They didn't speak. They were already beyond the pleasantries. He 
took off his coat and hung it where he always did. He just needed to be 
here, there was no other reason, nor did they need one.

In a waltz perfected over their years together and a dozen nights like this 
in the last few months, she turned on the tv and handed him the remote as 
they both sat down on the couch. They sat together, closer than mere friends 
would, yet not quite touching. They could have been sharing a book. They 
both knew that within an hour, she would say she was tired and head to bed 
and he would fall asleep on the couch. The dance was strange, but graceful. 
In the morning, he would be gone.

====================

When Mulder finally arrived home, there was a slip of paper just inside his 
door. The chaos had become remarkably predictable. Very little surprised him 
these days. Sure, he didn't know that the paper would be there exactly. But 
he had known that Leather Jacket would be contacting him again, and soon.

"End of Tagnet Hill Road--9 pm"

He could appreciate the brevity of the note, small talk was useless. End of 
the road, isn't that the abyss? he thought with a grimace.

When the day wore out and it came time for him to leave, he realized that at 
no time had he actually made the decision to go, it was just the way things 
would happen. He was off down that road again, fully conscious of where it 
would all end.

Leather Jacket was leaning on his car, the engine turned off. Mulder was 
slightly amused. Most of the time he was the one to wait on his sources. 
This one could've been some eager college kid, his hands stuck deep in his 
pockets for warmth.

Mulder stuffed his own hands into his trenchcoat, fending off the night air. 
He nodded knowingly at Leather Jacket. Like the last night, Leather Jacket 
shifted slightly uneasily. There is something he is going to tell me that is 
going to change my world Mulder's mind flashed.

"You're more ready to listen tonight" commented his new acquaintance. He 
shifted his eyes away, as though he were searching his mind for the words. 
When he brought them back up, he focused on Mulder so intensely that Mulder 
almost asked him what he saw there.

"I...uh...have followed your work" was all he could manage. Mulder panicked 
with disappointment and anger surfaced. For a moment he was afraid this guy 
really was a MUFON nut afterall. His antagonist seemed to sense his 
thoughts, so he continued.

"I need your word that you will keep this conversation to yourself and not 
share it with *anyone*." My word? Mulder thought wryly, this guy is an 
amateur, even by MUFON's standards. But, I'm out here, he found my place. 
For no other reason than to know that I don't have to move, I'll hear him 
out, then go back to my world and live my life out away from the edge.

Mulder nodded his assent.

Leather Jacket seemed to be tracking his thoughts well, batting a thousand. 
"That sounded corny, I know. But, you see, I know you...very well. Your word 
is as good as...well, as anything I can think of. It's truth." That caught 
Mulder's attention, he felt slightly patriarical. The gospel according to 
Mulder.

"I know what you did. I know that you have known for years that aliens exist 
and about their colonization plans."

Mulder studied him for a moment. "Ok." There was nothing particularly 
revealing in that. He really just wanted to say "Get on with it".

"But I know things that you don't. And I am here to ask you if you are 
interested in joining an group of individuals bent on ending the threat."

"The threat's over, they've left...what's left to defend against?" Mulder 
thought he saw disappointment flicker in the young man's eyes.

"Do you really think that they left the planet because you injected your 
partner with the antidote for the virus?" He paused, waiting for Mulder to 
defend himself.

Mulder shook his head, "I don't know what to think, I am not even sure I 
care anymore."

"Yeah, it would appear that you've lost your focus in the last while. You 
need to get it back though, cause we need your help." He emphasized his 
words very carefully, as though he believed that the fate of humanity rested 
on Mulder's shoulders. "My name is Adam."

But Mulder was only vaguely interested in what Adam was saying. He'd played 
this game before. He was no savior from any imagined threat. He was thinking 
about going home, doing some reading, watching a movie of the interactive 
variety, and falling asleep on the couch. God, his life had become mundane. 
"Let's get on with this, I have things to do."

Adam seemed truly hurt with this. "There is nothing you have that is more 
pressing than this.

"Years ago when the Consortium, or Syndicate as we call them was formed, 
there was a splinter group formed within that as well. Your father was among 
that splinter group. They were fighting the Syndicate from the inside." 
Mulder's interest was piqued now. His wheels were turning as he made sense 
out of what was being said.

"I'm listening."

Adam relaxed noticeably.

"Somewhere deep down, you must have known the good guys in the government 
existed. You have had outside help from the get-go with your assignment." 
Mulder chuckled wryly at this.

"Funny, it hasn't felt much like that."

"We've had to keep things covert. Senator Matheson made the mistake of 
trying to keep things above board, you know yourself that that didn't get 
him far." Mulder nodded.

"This splinter group from the Syndicate, as well as others who have joined 
the game along the way have understood the need to keep you informed, yet 
themselves at a distance. I have been a part of this splinter group, the 
Council, for a long time. I know that you wonder about your father. I can 
tell you with a certainty that your father was no traitor. He never was." 
This shook Mulder up inside. He maintained control on the outside though, as 
he digested the hope.

"Your father was one of the ones who prefered an open fight to the survival 
of a select group. He would rather have had everyone die in a straight 
fight, than only a few survive. But he also knew that he was in a minority. 
When he protested the giving of a family member, they just took your sister 
anyway. Your father knew that if he was ever to see your sister again, he 
had to stay within the group. That was the only reason he stayed. I can't 
imagine the internal battle he must have fought to maintain some control of 
the organization. He wasn't alone though. There were others who didn't 
agree. Others who had had their children taken from them too.

"Your father was right though. And so were you. The aliens never had any 
intentions of working with the Syndicate. They used them. Humans are no more 
than lab rats to them. They have their own agenda." He paused and began his 
veiled worship of Mulder anew. "You helped twart that though. In a way...you 
made them sit up and think. They didn't leave, but they have had to rethink 
their strategy.

"There are those among them that don't agree with the invasion. And they are 
willing to help us. The Syndicate were only pawns of their hierarchy, we 
have some real help from within their organization." He seemed pleased with 
himself and appeared to expect Mulder to feel the same way.

"What makes you think you aren't pawns yourselves? You may just have a tiger 
by the tail."

"Well, it doesn't appear that we have a whole lot of choice. Think about it, 
how are all wars won?"

"Might makes right" was Mulder's reply.

"Yeah, the biggest gun wins. They have no reason to, but they are helping us 
move light years ahead technologically."

"How many of you are there?"

"Enough, all in very strategic positions."

"So...if all of this is true, what do you need me for?"

"The countdown's begun again. We have to find a way to bring them down, 
March is our new deadline. You did it before, I know that you can help do it 
again. This time hopefully for good."

Mulder's mind was processing the information.

"All I want you to do tonight is come and take a look. Look at what we have 
and make a decision based on what you see."

Mulder considered this. He liked the way his mind was working over the 
information. He seemed to wake up a little from a sleep that he didn't even 
know he was in.

Adam just smiled as he opened his car door and slid inside. Mulder got in 
next to him, making a quick unconscious check for his gun.

================================

They drove along backroads for the better part of two hours. When Mulder 
tried to ask him a question, Adam promised him that it would be better if he 
just saw.

They arrived at an old barn on the edge of a farm property. The barn was 
deserted, sealed up and all dark inside. There was no one and nothing 
around. Mulder had been expecting something like the gunmen's hangout.

They drove around towards the back of the barn. Mulder could see the black 
opening of a small shed, barely big enough to drive the car into, yet that 
seemed to be what Adam was doing. The ground suddenly disappeared and the 
car lurched underground. Mulder's stomach lurched with it, he hadn't been 
expecting to be going into what appeared to be a garage housing about a 
dozen nondescript cars. The outward appearance of the structure had given no 
indication of the underground maze it hid.

When Adam turned off the headlights, they found themselves in total 
darkness.

Mulder pulled his flashlight out of his pocket and turned it on. They headed 
towards a steel door. Light flooded the area as Adam opened it using a 
keypad. The high tech feel of things surprised him somewhat.

Inside Mulder could see a short corridor with a door at the end. Adam 
knocked.

"Three knocks and a secret password gets you into the clubhouse?" Mulder 
quipped. Adam smiled.

The clubhouse was something of a surprise though.

Two guards in full army apparel, guns armed and aimed faced them as the door 
opened. Mulder was more than a little surprised. He could see other weapons 
clipped to their belts, one of which was a stiletto switchblade he 
recognized. The other weapons seemed odd and deformed. Apparently the 
syndicate weren't the only ones these guys feared. Another guard sat behind 
a desk with a computer on it.

"Sir!"

The guard at the desk stood to attention at the sight of Adam, the others 
kept their guns trained on them. Mulder noted that their fingers were not 
only poised on the triggers, but had them slightly depressed. That made him 
hope to God they knew their weapons well. They were either very good or very 
bad at their job, he thought. Adam hardly gave the soldiers a glance as he 
leaned forward to the desk guard performing a retinal scan on him. Mulder 
found himself with a whole new respect for his companion.

"Scan him in," Adam said.

The guard appeared not to have understood. "Sir?"

"I said scan him in corporal." Adam was all business. The corporal appeared 
to be doing this against his will, raging some internal battle between 
following orders and following procedure. Mulder leaned in and allowed his 
eye to be scanned. The computer beeped. The guard looked up at Adam 
expectantly. Adam looked over at Mulder.

"Saint" replied Adam after a pause. Mulder guessed that that was how the 
computer was going to identify him. He groaned inwardly at the tag that had 
been put on him, hopefully not for long though.

"Yeah, I used to watch that series too. Seems a little dramatic, don't you 
think?"

"None of us uses our real names. Ever. Not in passing, not by accident, not 
even to ourselves." Adam seemed to have donned his military mask as they 
pushed through the doors on the other side.

"The scan is to make sure that we aren't being invaded by a shape shifter 
without our knowledge. They can be any one of us if they so choose. But they 
can't change their inner eyes. It's quicker than a blood test."

"How do you know I am not one of them?" Mulder asked. Adam just smiled.

"No, I really want an answer to that question."

"Because I know."

Mulder looked at Adam with new eyes. Gone was the insecure college boy air. 
But he didn't think that he'd been intentionally deceived. For some reason 
yet to be discovered, Adam thought of Mulder as a confidant, someone he had 
let into his inner circle of thought. He watched the interaction that Adam 
had with the various people they passed in the corridor. He found that it 
wasn't so very different from his own. When Mulder walked down the halls at 
work, he noticed everything and nothing all at the same time.

Mulder was taken with the pure "whiteness" of the facility. Everything was 
white and bright. Everything seemed state-of-the-art. It was a stark 
contrast to the lie of the outer building. Inside here, the walls seemed to 
glow brilliance.

They entered a room at the end of a hall. Mulder was expecting to be 
confronted with strange technology. Instead, it was a bunker. The lighting 
was softer. Double decked beds were in neat little rows along the walls. 
They were all made with standard issue army blankets. The room could house 
forty people, he calculated.

A group of four men sat at the far end, playing cards. Well, three of them 
were, the fourth was reading. They all looked up and froze with looks of 
surprise on their faces.

"Jesus, you brought him here?!" Mulder glanced at Adam. He once again seemed 
more like a school kid showing off to his friends in the clubhouse. Look, 
see what I found??

"I knew that you would want to meet him." And they did. They scurried to 
their feet fixing themselves as they crossed the room. Mulder had felt that 
kind of admiration before. He hated it. The world seemed so polarized. The 
vast majority of people didn't give a rat's ass about him, and that was 
fine. But there seemed to be an almost cult-like following of his work by 
the types of people he met at UFO conventions and round table discussions on 
the paranormal. These men seemed to be of this variety. Mulder was suddenly 
very sorry he had come.

"This is Stick, Case, Ice and Stu." Adam announced. Mulder shook hands with 
all of them in turn.

They all looked around the same age as Adam. Stick, the one with the book, 
had a decidedly nerdy air to him. He fidgeted a lot and seemed unusually 
shy. Case glowed with confidence, a kind of mercenary air hung about his 
head. Ice seemed friendly, a good 'ole bad boy, Mulder thought. Stu just 
smiled a whole lot.

"Happy, Sleepy, Doc and Grumpy?" Mulder flipped. They all laughed easily, if 
not just a tad too giddy. Mulder had only been half joking.

"I don't mean to be rude, but, you said that you had something to show me," 
Mulder ventured.

"And I do," came the reply. The group all moved out into the hallway and 
down to yet another door. This one was locked. Next to the door was a code 
box with another retinal scanner next to it. Stick did the honors. Mulder 
noted that he positioned his body in such a way that none of the others 
could see his code. Adam seemed to read his thoughts.

"Trust no one."

Mulder was totally unprepared for the next room. This room was larger, 
larger than the bunker, larger than the barn had been in fact. It was still 
underground, but Mulder could see staircases that must lead up to the inside 
of the barn. The odd person in a lab coat walked by, going from station to 
station. There were rows and rows of computers on desks. Seated at almost 
all of them were people typing or reading, or reading and typing. Most had 
headsets on. Everyone seemed engrossed in their work. It was a tech room.

One of the men in lab coats was frozen in position and staring at the group. 
His face was pock-marked and to say he glared at them would be an 
understatement.

As he moved towards them, Mulder had an incredible urge to reach for his 
gun.

Adam tensed visibly. "Saint, this is Book." That seemed somehow fitting, 
given that the room seemed to be a warehouse of stored knowledge. They shook 
hands, Mulder noted that his grip was tighter than was polite, but he said 
nothing.

"Saint? Isn't that what they call someone good who died?"

"I didn't pick the name and I am starting to wonder why I came here in the 
first place." Mulder looked pointedly at Adam. He was getting angry and 
losing patience with the situation despite his natural curiosity. He was 
feeling more like the show-er than the show-ee. The four stooges shared 
uncomfortable glances.

Book scoffed at the statement.

"I have more important things to do, excuse me."

If his intent had been to hurt Mulder's feelings, it didn't work. It only 
gave him insight into the internal politics.

The hierarchy seemed to be presenting itself. And Mulder wasn't sure he was 
comfortable knowing that Adam was in charge. He seemed too young, too 
idealistic. The fact that he looked up to Mulder only seemed to have a 
foreboding feeling to it. He had a vision flash that he was going to be 
running the show here as some demi-god that Adam worshipped. He didn't care 
much for that image. He was not what Adam seemed to be making him into.

"This is our own mini CIA," started Adam. "This is where we gather a good 
part of our intelligence. From here we monitor, well, just about every 
electronic transmission in this part of the United States. Government and 
military alike, much of the stuff that goes out on the wire, comes here 
too."

"This isn't big enough to house that kind of information, there aren't 
enough men to process it." Mulder stated simply, having done the math.

Adam seemed impressed by the observation."Well, most of what we get has been 
filtered already from operatives..."

"strategically positioned," finished Mulder. Adam nodded.

They wandered through the rows of terminals, glancing at the odd one. He 
noted that one had a high security "FOR EYES ONLY--USFP" tag to it. That was 
severely out of place on a computer screen. That wasn't something that would 
have been easy to get to.

They moved further into the room, towards the back. The terminals in this 
area were smaller. This area seemed to be one mainly of surveillance. Each 
person monitoring this area was responsible for as many as twenty small 
screens. A few were shut off. Some scenes were of areas that could have been 
categorized as personal space. Various households, living rooms mostly. Some 
were indoor, factory type of buildings, some offices though. Although there 
was one screen that showed a bathroom.

"Eunuchs run these?"

"We don't surveil anyone who isn't working for the other side. Or whom we 
may want to bring into the council. Everyone we're watching is in the game 
at some level" Adam added carefully, gauging Mulder's reaction. Mulder's 
eyes narrowed.

"Where's my place?" Adam shifted uneasily.

"We only do what we feel we need to do."

"The means justifying the end? Do you know how twisted that is? Do you and 
your clubhouse boys here understand what it is you are doing here?! These 
are people's lives.

"You're right, I have known all of my adult life that the good guys in the 
government existed somewhere. Imagine my surprise to find out that the good 
guys have no morals."

Mulder shook his head, disgusted. "I'm outta here," he said as he turned to 
leave. "And don't ever use one of your spy cameras in my space again."

Adam grabbed his arm. Mulder looked down at the hand holding his arm, then 
glared into Adam's eyes. They were the same height and build. It seemed as 
though they were equally matched in will as well.

"Look, I know what this seems like. The Council are very aware of how they 
are intruding into lives."

"What? they just don't care then?"

Adam paused, choosing his words carefully. "The belief is that we need to 
protect the lives of the people on the planet. Every life is important to 
us. There is no life that is above that protection. But we also know that 
sometimes that means that the needs of the world justify some more 
unorthodox actions."

"You sound just like a certain Morley sucking vampire I know." He whipped 
his arm out of his grasp.

"No! We are *not* the same!" Adam hissed, his voice low. "They will take 
unsuspecting people, innocent people, experiment on them, throw them to the 
wolves and kill with impunity. Their only justifications are their own sorry 
lives. They fight by street rules. Maybe that's why they seem to get so far 
ahead of us all the time.

"The people we surveil know they are in the game, even you. You can't 
pretend that you didn't know that the possibility existed. We are out to 
save everyone. Even the ones who don't seem to want to help us do so. But we 
know that doing so is going to cause us to make some tough choices along the 
way. I think we have done okay, I sleep at night."

"Somehow I don't doubt that." Mulder continued to glare at him, his anger 
still apparent.

"Are you really that angry that we spied on you? Do you really want to know 
that for the last eight plus years we have known about your every move, your 
every case in detail? And for the last two months, that I have been watching 
you actively. Do you think that any of this" he gestured wildly around the 
room, "could have stayed this quiet if we didn't take these liberties? We 
didn't start the spying game, but we are very conscious of the benefits. I 
*know* that you will help us." His tone quieted, he took a step back. "I 
know you will because you are exactly what we need. And we are what you 
need. You want the truth *and* you want the world to go on in the way it 
always has. And here you have the means to do your job properly."

Mulder was still digesting his words when he spoke again. "I have other 
things you need to learn before you decide." Mulder paused a minute before 
following him into a side room. The four stooges followed shortly behind 
them like children watching their parents fighting and not quite knowing 
what to do.

They entered what seemed to be a map room. Maps and topography charts lined 
tables and peppered the walls. There were even a few star charts here and 
there. There seemed to be a system to the chaos, but Mulder couldn't make it 
out readily. Adam signaled him to approach the bench where he stood. Spread 
out on the bench was a fairly detailed map of the world. It was dotted with 
blue, red, and green dots sporatically, and numbers jotted almost 
everywhere.

"We know that there are essentially six alien ships on the planet right now. 
Here. Here....here." He was motioning to the blue dots. Tunguska, Alberta, 
Virginia, Australia, Antarctica, South Africa.

"Now, of the three alien species we know of, there are races within them as 
well."

"Just like home."

"The aliens you encountered here," he pointed to a blank spot in the 
antarctica Mulder knew well, "were mostly mutants. Their job is essentially 
to wipe us off the planet. The black oil, the virus intended to be carried 
by bees to unsuspecting citizens, kills its host almost instantly. When 
conditions are right, they gestate very quickly. Their lives are quite 
short. They devour their victims and in turn they themselves die within a 
relatively short time. Their bodies return to the oil state. The use of this 
virus puts the planet pretty much right back to square one for inhabitation 
after a very short period of time."

"How do you kill them?" Mulder wanted to know.

"The gestated mutants? Almost anything will do it. A bullet. A knife. 
Anything lethal to us is pretty much lethal to them as well. They are 
stronger and more resiliant than we are, but still mortal. Their exoskeleton 
is their weakness. They are our biggest threat. They are just animals 
though, no real thought processes. The alien government controlling their 
mutation are the ones that set the new time table. They are the ones in 
cahoots with the syndicate, but they don't number many themselves." He 
snorted softly. "They don't need to.

"Certain government officials have known about them for years. I believe 
that they only bargained with the human race at all because it gave the 
powers that be a certain sense of hope and allowed the aliens to relax, 
believing we believed their lies. They could go on testing us without 
military interference, in fact, with the military's help. They played on 
that while strengthening their forces. The ship you were in moved over...to 
here." He pointed to another area in the Antarctica that really didn't seem 
that far from the first.

Mulder closed his eyes, wanting to blind himself to his own stupidity.

"So then you are dealing with someone within their government?"

"No. Not at all. In fact, to the best of our knowledge they don't even know 
the Council exists. We are dealing with the second race. They are similar in 
appearance, when it suits them. We call them Shape shifters. They are 
capable of interesting miracles, but generally choose not to interfere. 
Under different circumstances, they could pass for Gods to most people. They 
are more or less just a scientific community. Within this race, there are 
only a handful working to help us. They don't believe that the Mutants 
should be allowed to violate the world with their intentions." Adam exhaled 
wearily.

"Alien Green Peace," Mulder commented quietly. Adam nodded.

"Unfortunately, the shifters that are helping us are doing so without their 
government's permission. They have a strict policy of non-interference in 
other worlds. They have given us clones with limited powers and as much 
technology as they can manage. These are the ones we have been working with. 
We have some defensive weapons and of course much of the intelligence that 
we gathered was from them."

Mulder looked over the map some more, trying to make sense of the numbers 
and dots.

"And the third race?"

"We don't really see them as much of a threat. At least not a global one. 
Their technology is inferior. They are rebels without a home. We believe 
that they intend to wait for the destruction and then battle the Aliens for 
what's left of the planet. They can render themselves immune to the virus, 
but couldn't win any real battles with us."

"Seems like your bases are all covered. I don't know what I can do to help. 
You obviously know everything that I know and then some. And you have men 
more than capable of doing anything that I am....am I missing something 
here?"

"Yeah, we need you on board. Top Council members are getting nervous. Things 
seem to be happening a whole lot faster than we had anticipated. We obtained 
information a couple of months ago that fuels suspicions that the bee 
transmission was a smoke screen."

"Then...how do they intend to transmit the virus?"

"That, we don't know and haven't been able to find out. Some of the Council 
are of the opinion that we should go the way of the syndicate and try and 
meet out some arrangement. Everyone is aware of what you have done despite 
the odds. If you were online here, I know they would stay with the project 
and our years of hard work. We've got to beat them with force, they don't 
think of us as anything more than an annoyance. Were we to knock on their 
door asking for leniency, I am sure they'd laugh--if they could."

Mulder shook his head, unbelieving.

"It seems absurd that they would make a decision based on which side of the 
fence I happen to be sitting on. I mean, it's no secret that I am against 
the syndicate's approach."

"They are politicians, decision makers of no real conviction. They need you 
on board. They trust you."

Mulder just laughed at this. Oh, the irony.

"They are the reason that you are still assigned to the X-files, but not 
just anyone could have gotten where you did."

Mulder considered this. For every answer he was getting, his mind developed 
new questions.

"I am not sure in what capacity I will be able to help you. Not without 
blowing your secret wide open."

The men exchanged a look between them.

"Ok...what aren't you telling me?" came Mulder's tired reply.

"We would want you here on this full time."

"And what about Scully?" Again the men looked uncomfortable.

"No, I won't work without her. She's my partner," he said with finality. He 
turned and walked out of the map room.

The men all stared at Adam. He nodded as if to say that he would handle it.

He found Mulder staring at the personal monitors again.

"It only gets worse from here." Adam spoke quietly.

Mulder shook his head and smiled, staring at some woman talking to a man in 
her livingroom. Unbelievable. This was incredible! Where the hell were these 
guys when I needed the help?! They let me believe that I was fighting alone. 
Now they need my help and feel at liberty to essentially use me.

"I am almost afraid to ask how, but since I am pretty sure that I won't be 
joining you now, my curiosity has the better of me. Shoot."

"You couldn't just take a leave of absence from work. You are too high 
profile and we aren't the only ones following your day. You know that you 
have a cult following in paranormal circles. If you just went missing, every 
UFO nut and quasi hacker would be on your trail, not to mention your 
partner, the Syndicate and the bureau."

"So you would want me to stage my own death?" Pieces were clicking into 
place.

"Not at all. We would take care of all of that. No one could know."

"And have my partner, who has followed me and stood by me for the last seven 
years, my *best* friend, who has helped me where you never would, believe 
that I died? You can stop right there, because there is NO way on earth I am 
going to do that to her!"

Adam let out a deep breath. "No, I can see that," he added quietly. "But 
would you consider doing it *for* her?"

This took Mulder aback. A battle was raging inside him. He feared that this 
was the abyss and that he was powerless to stop himself from the fall. When 
he spoke again, it was more gently.

"I don't understand why she can't join us here. She's always been an asset 
to the X-files."

Adam spoke more confidently, feeling sure that the battle was turning in his 
favor.

"There are four very good reasons. One: she has family that she is in 
regular contact with. It would be difficult to extract her from her life 
with her consent. These people you see live here, there is no outside 
contact at all with our pasts. It's a huge risk for the project. I doubt we 
could ever get her agreement and would be taking a risk with the question."

"And you think you have my agreement?!"

"Two: despite her work with you, it's a well-documented fact that she is not 
a believer in extra-terrestrial life. Do you think that she would walk away 
from her family, from her life, for a cause she does not believe in? It's a 
strong security risk for the project. We haven't kept this a secret this 
long by being careless."

"She might if I asked her to."

"'Might' being the operative word there. Three: she plays by the book. Which 
is one of the things that I admire about her, but this is a bad-ass game we 
are playing, sometimes by vigilante rules. There is *no* room for hesitancy. 
There is too much risk for her here. That's the reason you could never tell 
her either. It would be too dangerous for her.

"Four: her staying behind when you are gone will seal your death as a 
certainty. If she were to disappear at the same time, no one would believe 
it. Not what's left of the Syndicate, not anyone following your career, no 
one."

"Just letting her know..."

"Would get her killed. She's lied about your death before and it wasn't 
convincing then. Members of the Syndicate knew. They would have her followed 
and eventually would try to get the information from her in a more forceful 
way. The two of you are too close for that."

Mulder looked him full in the face again. "And that's why it's not going to 
happen."

"A short time from now every man, woman and child on the planet are going to 
know about the alien invasion, that's inevitable. All we want is that when 
they find out, it's at the winning end of the battle, that they are given 
reason to hope."

Mulder closed his eyes wanting to shut out everything he'd heard. When he 
looked over, Adam just nodded. He knew that the ball was in Mulder's court 
and that the decision would have to be his alone. He still felt that in the 
end Mulder would help them, but he knew him well enough to back away and 
allow him to figure it all out for himself.

"I'll take you back," he stated simply.

===================================

Mulder didn't sleep much the rest of that night. He laid on his couch, 
staring at the ceiling, trying to figure out a way around all of this. When 
the fingers of light pried awake his apartment, he decided to take a shower 
and go into the office for a while.

Once there, he looked at his files and thought about the meaninglessness it 
all seemed to have now. He had struggled for every piece of the puzzle when 
the powers that be had had all the answers. They'd fed him scraps while they 
dined on gourmet food. And yet, here he was being offered an in door to the 
organized structure of his own work and he couldn't walk in. He wouldn't 
have hesitated, but then there was Scully.

She'd been loyal. She was the only one he trusted in this alien infected 
world. She'd saved his life and given hers more times than he could 
remember, even if he had wanted to. He thought about her face and the trust 
she had for him that showed in it. In some ways, she seemed so childlike and 
innocent. In other ways, so much stronger than he was. The way her brow 
furrowed slightly when she struggled to grasp a truth, the gentle rise of 
her perfect lips, her trusting eyes, her beautiful hair. God, when had he 
switched to loving redheads over brunettes? Had he ever really liked any 
other color?

He couldn't inflict that pain on her, he thought with a certainty. Not ever. 
Trust was the biggest issue in his life. She trusted him, he could never 
betray that. Ever.

As if on cue, his cell phone rang. For some strange reason, he felt certain 
that it was Adam. He almost answered it with a quick "go to hell".

"Mulder"

"Hey Mulder, it's me. Where are you?" God it felt good to hear her voice. He 
felt like he hadn't seen her in a year. He wanted to be with her. He needed 
her to chase the demons from the door.

"I'm in the office. What's up?"

"What are you doing in the office?"

"Just tying up some things, looking some things over. You know, the usual 
home away from home housework."

"Feel like getting out of there for a bit?" Mulder smiled, liking the sound 
of that indeed.

"What d'you have in mind?"

Scully sighed. "I was thinking about taking a walk."

That was a first. Although they were finding themselves spending more and 
more time together, they usually made the pretense of work or no pretense at 
all. This seemed... casual, more personal somehow.

"Scully, is everything ok?"

"Yeah, it's fine. I just thought that...oh, I don't know what I thought to 
be honest."

Mulder smiled despite Scully's obvious discomfort. She needed him around 
sometimes too. Just for the sake of it. His face clouded over at the 
realization. It should have given him security in his decision to stay, but 
for some reason it was having the opposite effect.

He needed to see her too.

"I'll swing by then."

She was grateful that she hadn't needed to explain herself.

The air held a chill, despite the clear blue sky. They walked a loose circle 
around her neighborhood. Mulder's teeth worried an assortment of sunflower 
seeds he plucked casually from the pocket of his leather jacket as they 
strolled. They talked about Scully's family, the weather, and an upcoming 
wedding for her cousin. Scully did most of the talking, Mulder was just 
content to be there.

Eventually they ended up stopping at a coffee house nestled inside a book 
store just up the street from Scully's apartment. Scully wanted a cup of 
coffee and Mulder just wanted to drag the day out as long as he could.

They ordered some coffee and took a window table that was hardly bigger than 
a hubcap. Neither minded as it afforded them an excuse to sit closer without 
feeling self-conscious about it.

"So, what were you doing in the office?"

"Ah...just looking over...pretty much nothing."

"Sounds like I saved you then," she teased. Mulder looked deep into her 
eyes, sheer contentment reaching his soul.

*You have no idea Scully.*

She had touched that deep down many times and he liked the feeling.

He nodded slowly, never taking his eyes off of her, a small smile touching 
the corners of his mouth. The air was pregnant with a meaning Scully 
couldn't quite grasp.

"Do you ever regret having this sorry ass for a partner?"

"Mulder, your ass is anything but sorry."

She realized as she said this though that he had been serious about the 
question.

"Don't you want that normal life you're always talking about? Predictable 
normalcy?"

"If you are asking me about my joining the X-files...well, there are times 
when I wonder about what might have been career-wise, yes. But I think that 
most people do that. It's the road not taken. If you are asking about you 
specifically, then I would have to say, no, I have no regrets about our 
partnership. Well, not many." She smiled at him again.

Her smile is beautiful, he thought suddenly. She didn't smile enough.

"How about you? Don't you think about settling down and getting married?"

He scoffed at this. "We're already married."

"I meant to a someone you love, not to work."

*So did I.* He didn't answer out loud though.

"What's on your mind Mulder?"

He chewed on his swizzle stick, trying to formulate an answer.

"I dunno, just conversation."

He threw down the stick and looked out the window. The rise that the coffee 
house/book store sat on afforded them a beautiful view of this part of the 
city.

"Somehow, that's not the impression I am getting."

She studied him staring outside, feeling a little concerned about what was 
going on within her partner.

Somewhere in the background, Jann Arden crooned "You Don't Know Me". It was 
having the effect of adding to Scully's growing wistful mood. She played 
over the words in her mind as the song played out.

You put your hand in mine
And you say hello
And I can hardly speak
My heart is beating so
And anyone can tell
You think you know me well
But you don't know me

She wondered if he was listening to it too. He was still staring off out the 
window, a million miles away. The setting sun bleached his face so that he 
had to squint slightly.

I am just a friend,
That's all I've ever been
Cause you don't know me

She watched as he bit his bottom lip in thought. His face looked a perfect 
combination of boy and man. Wonder and sense. God, she would remember this 
moment forever. She loved him so completely in that moment.

Afraid and shy
I let my chance go by
A chance that you might love me too

She reached over, taking his hand in hers, trying to bring him back to 
earth. Mulder looked at her, trying to read the expression in her face. She 
squeezed his hand gently. The look could've melted a polar icecap. When she 
went to pull her hand away, she found that he had latched on. The air filled 
with definition.

He was never really sure what prompted his next action. Without thinking, he 
pulled her closer, closed his eyes and pressed his lips to hers. She parted 
her lips gently. Their tongues touched slightly, sharing an intimate dance 
in a crowded cafe. He savored the smell of her, the feel of her lips. His 
senses seemed to be so refined. He could feel all of her then, body, mind 
and soul. It was a sweet kiss filled with hope.

He looked at her, half expecting that she would get wise and slap his face. 
Instead she smiled a loving, albeit surprised smile, sweetly shy and Mulder 
ceased to exist. The air smelled different, colors were brighter, his mind 
was somehow different.

*Hadn't it always been this way?*

The kiss hadn't affected him nearly as much as the look on her face had.

They walked the block to her place. Once back at her apartment, Mulder could 
only think about kissing her again. As soon as the door shut, he reached for 
her and drew her into his arms. He needed to kiss her again. He was 
thirsting for that feeling. The consuming drive engulfed them both. Passion 
flowed a river between them. Scully gasped when they broke their union.

She was looking at him as though she hadn't seen him before. Her eyes 
searched his face, trying to make sense out of his sudden need for her. She 
couldn't be sure just what had triggered it, but she was more than sure that 
it was welcome. The next time their lips met, she'd been the one closing the 
last bit of distance. Instinct drove their actions as they pulled slightly 
at one another's clothing, making their way slowly towards the bedroom.

Mulder pulled away from her suddenly as they approached the bed, as though 
he just then realized what was happening. He was trying to reason with 
himself. Thoughts of aliens, Council, invasion and threat suddenly pushed 
through. He fought for clarity of mind. He couldn't start this now, not now.

He stood intimately close to her, but he carefully tried to re-adjust her 
blouse and somehow make what was happening between them go away. He didn't 
want to love her this way. Not now with so much uncertainty. Words seemed 
poised on his lips.

Scully held still, not sure whether he wanted to proceed or not. She knew 
what she wanted. She wanted to make love to him and have him make love to 
her. She wanted to feel his need for her. She wanted to lie in his arms 
afterwards feeling whole. More than anything though, she wanted him to want 
her, without cohersion. She didn't move as he was carefully putting her back 
together. His shaky hands adjusted her collar, then slid up her neck. They 
cupped her face as he brought his eyes up to hers.

They spoke without saying a word. Tears gathered shamelessly in Mulder's 
eyes and she couldn't help but hurt with him, struggling with his 
uncertainty. She was sure that the root of his uncertainty was the chance 
they were taking with their relationship. Her eyes spoke with confidence.

Mulder's mind travelled light speed. He wanted to tell her everything so 
that she could find some way in which it all wasn't true.

He was dying a thousand deaths somewhere deep down. She couldn't break the 
spell by speaking, but her eyes told their own story. Mulder stared into her 
beautiful sweet blue eyes. He wanted her to save him from the world, save 
him from himself.

*God I want to love you Scully. God I do love you Scully.*

He couldn't think anymore, couldn't reason. The uncertainty was gone as 
suddenly as it had come. Slowly, once again he captured her lips with his 
mouth.

He moved one hand between them, gently cupping her breast, tracing her 
nipple through the fabric of her blouse with his thumb. She moaned softly.

The noise she made fueled his passion. He abandoned all reason. His tongue 
plundered her mouth as his hands worked the buttons of her blouse. They 
worked their clothes off in careless heaps. Their breath came in jagged 
spurts as their desire consumed them.

Mulder lowered Scully to the bed, his mouth never leaving her body. Lying on 
top of her, he kissed his way down her neck, his tongue teasing her skin. He 
kissed gently at the cross on her neck. She arched her neck, baring her 
throat in an animalistic show of trust. He nibbled at the soft skin there, 
then worked his lips down. His mouth enveloped one firm nipple, then the 
other where he sucked lightly to the sound of her moans.

When Scully moaned his name, Mulder pulled himself back up to look into her 
eyes, he needed to look into her eyes. His face was inches from hers. He 
could feel her breath mixing with his. He brought one hand up and cupped her 
face, his thumb stroking her cheek softly as he looked deeply into her soul.

Their eyes spoke in rapid volumes, telling of their love and desire for one 
another, telling one another that everything was okay. Her hands put a 
gentle pressure on his back, urging him into her. In one firm thrust, he 
pushed forward and was forever lost.

He barely heard Scully draw in a deep breath as he entered her. She felt so 
exquisitely wet and tight all at the same time. He paused there, allowing 
them both to gain some ground. He was on a plane that didn't allow cohesive 
thought. In a timeless dance, they began to move in unison, grinding into 
one another.

Mulder was lost in a sea of ecstacy, every movement creating sheer pleasure. 
It was all he could do to keep his mind directed at pleasing Scully as well. 
His every thrust was met by hers. Her fingers raked his back with desire, 
moving them towards an unseen goal. Her breathing, her soft moans of 
pleasure, the feel of her body, all assaulted him in the most delicious way. 
He only hoped that he could hold off long enough to help her reach her own 
pinacle.

Scully felt herself spiralling upwards. The culmination of heightened senses 
rocked her foundations to the core. She found that air couldn't get into her 
lungs fast enough, but it didn't matter to her. Then came the blinding 
ecstacy. Her mind flew up over the edge of the world as wave after wave 
consumed her. Her breath hitched as she struggled with sanity.

Mulder could contain himself no more. Hearing Scully's faltering breath and 
gasp of pleasure, feeling the pulsing of her against him deep within her was 
all he could take. His breath held, his body tensed. He crushed Scully hard 
to him, holding on, well aware that she was all that was keeping him on the 
planet. As he lost himself deep inside her, he groaned her name, in some 
primative way fusing them forever together in his mind.

They both laid there panting, sweat covering their bodies, not moving for a 
moment. Exhaustion was claiming Mulder. He rolled off of Scully and drew her 
half over with him, her head softly resting on his chest. Their bodies were 
melted together. He inhaled the scent of her hair, marveling at the simple 
pleasure it brought him.

As quickly as the contentment took him, thoughts invaded his sanctuary. His 
mind began once again to travel the grounds of the future.

The chill of the air quickly overtook their damp bodies. Scully reached 
behind her to draw the sheet over them. As she turned back, their eyes 
caught. They both studied one another's face, trying to read the unreadable. 
Something in Mulder's eyes caused a flicker of doubt in her. She couldn't 
make out what her partner was thinking.

"S'okay" Mulder reassured her, drawing her down. She didn't feel very 
reassured though. She settled down beside him wondering about the look in 
his eyes. Did he regret making love to her?

Although the bureau held no formal policy regarding personal relationships, 
she knew that they didn't smile on them between partners either. Mulder 
wouldn't have cared about that though, she reasoned. Nor did she feel that 
this was something that he hadn't wanted. He was unsettled about something 
she couldn't discern.

Mulder knew that his choice was now gone. His mind was so clear on the fact 
that he had to protect every part of this way of life. As he'd always done, 
he took the weight of the problems of the world on his shoulders. His soul 
was ripping perfectly in two. He would get the job done, and just as fast as 
he could. He would return to Scully and pick up right where they would be 
forced to leave off. I won't be doing this to her, I will be doing this for 
her he reasoned.

=========================

Adam watched as Mulder grabbed his coat and exited the apartment. He gave 
him time to get to his car. He knew what Mulder's answer would be as he 
dialed the number.

Mulder grabbed at his pocket before realizing that the ringing he was 
hearing wasn't coming from the cell there. He traced the sound to just under 
his car seat, trying to avoid an accident as he did so. Wordlessly, he 
engaged the call.

Adam didn't even bother with the question.

"This is how it'll go. Business as usual, don't think about this and it'll 
be easier. When you see me next, just follow my directions without 
hesitation."

"When?" was all Mulder wanted to know. He needed to know how much time he 
had with Scully.

"Don't know that. Depends on when we get a match. I won't be contacting you 
again. Discard this phone." And then he was gone. Mulder threw down the 
phone partly in frustration, partly at Adam knowing he would agree. He 
pulled into an alley, lowered his window and threw the phone into a bin.

Disposable phones, what next?

=========================

Tension ruled the air at work the next morning. Scully had awoken some time 
in the night to find Mulder gone. It was an empty, lonely feeling and she 
hadn't been able to sleep afterwards. When they had met up at the office, 
they had carefully avoided one another's eyes. She chose to work upstairs to 
avoid the awkwardness. By noon she had worked up enough courage in herself 
to try talking to him. She wanted to get through the discomfort so that they 
could move forward. She had played the scenario of sharing a bed with him in 
her mind from time to time since she'd met him. It had never ended this way.

Mulder was sitting at his desk, staring blankly at a file folder. When he 
saw Scully standing at the door, he made an effort to look busy.

"Mulder...." she hesitated. "Maybe we should talk."

He looked up at her, dropping the charade of work. He nodded, shifting his 
eyes away. The atmosphere was becoming unbearable.

For a moment, neither spoke.

"Mulder I...don't really know what to say here. Help me out a bit?"

She attempted a smile, but it didn't quite make it to her lips. She had lost 
the confidence she had on her way down when she saw that he wasn't just 
uncomfortable. He looked somehow guilty.

"I am not sure...that we....did the right thing" were all the words he could 
manage, and those were spoken as he carefully tested the mechanics of a 
paper clip on his fingers. Apparently the test needed the interest of his 
eyes as well.

It wasn't a lie. Having made love had bonded her to him in a way that would 
make things harder for her, harder for them both. But especially Scully, 
because she would believe he was gone for good. The memory of the smell of 
her hair, her peaceful face as he'd watched her sleep...the memories 
battered him even as he tried to keep her at a distance.

His words hit Scully like a stone. To that point, she'd imagined he was just 
feeling strange about the whole situation, as she was. She never imagined 
that he didn't want to continue being lovers.

"I see" was all she could manage. It was barely a whisper. They looked at 
one another for a sharp moment. It was all making sense to her now. The 
hesitancy last night, the guilty look in his eyes. He didn't want her the 
way she'd wanted him. Scully couldn't take it anymore. She turned and headed 
out the door.

"Scully...wait." But she kept going. She couldn't face him and the loss 
another second.

Mulder cursed his choice of words. He was suddenly angry. Angry at the 
injustice of his life. Angry with Adam and his cause. Angry at the world for 
not listening. Angry at himself for hurting her this way.

He surged forward in fury, grabbing at the contents of his desk and raking 
them across and off. Papers, pencils, cups and anger flew across the room. 
Mulder just sank into his chair and rested his forehead in his hands.

=====================

Over the next few days, they barely spoke. When she did look at him, he 
looked like a battered puppy, his eyes wanting her forgiveness. There was 
nothing to forgive. She kept to her side of the office or upstairs when she 
could find the excuse. She stayed strong, never showing any hint of the 
turmoil within. What was past, was past she thought. What she needed now was 
to accept it and move on.  She didn't want to lose their working 
relationship.

Mulder had tried to call her that first evening, but she hadn't answered her 
phone. He thought that she could use some space and wasn't quite sure how to 
approach it in any case. How do you tell someone that you love them, will 
love them for evermore, but by the way, I don't want to make love to you 
again in order to spare you grief later? I don't know if I ever touched you 
again that I could leave you. And if I don't leave, how can I be sure we'll 
have an "evermore"?

He tried hard to keep things normal workwise. He didn't want to open up new 
cases, yet he knew that it wouldn't look right if he didn't. In the end, he 
opted to do some general housekeeping of the files, cross-referencing things 
that needed it. Scully noticed his lack of involvement in their work, but 
chalked it up to their tension.

By Thursday evening, he felt that things needed resolution, for both their 
sakes. The almighty clock was ticking beyond his hearing. He worried that he 
would see Adam at every turn and time will have run out for them.

It was late when he pulled up outside her apartment but the lights were 
still on. He sat there convincing himself that if he could just talk to her 
and make her understand somehow, that everything would be okay. Somehow, 
they would be okay. Like a child playing with fire, he thought that he could 
control it all.

He knocked on her door twice before she opened it. She was dressed in her 
bath robe. As soon as he saw her face, he knew that he controlled nothing. 
How could he not touch something that was touching him so deeply? The work 
facades were gone. She just looked hurt and resigned at the sight of him.

"Can I come in?"

She nodded and moved over to allow him inside. They stared at one another 
for a moment. Mulder reached behind him and shut the door.

"Look...Scully, I know that I didn't handle....things very well. I was 
unprepared for what happened."

He seemed to think that this was an explanation. It just seemed to anger 
her. He shifted nervously. It seemed like such a lousy excuse for his 
behavior when he said it out loud.

"Mulder, I'll see you in the office in the morning."

She had masked her eyes again and he couldn't tell exactly what she was 
thinking. He knew by the fact that she was covering her emotions that she 
was deeply hurt. Her arms were crossed in a defensive pose.

He couldn't leave things the way they were. He had a sudden strong urge to 
just spill out everything of the last week, blurt it all out and save their 
now-fragile relationship. Maybe she would tell him that he was doing the 
right thing. Maybe the world would go to hell for it. But at least *they* 
would be ok. He sat perfectly poised on the horns of a dilemma.

"I'm not leaving Scully. Not until you hear what I have to say." He wasn't 
entirely sure what that was though. He finally just decided to speak from 
the heart and abandon the few scripts he'd worked on on the way over.

She didn't change her stance, nor her demeanor. Hell hath no fury...

"I don't want you to think that it didn't mean anything to me when we made 
love. Scully, you should know that I care about you very deeply. You mean 
more to me than any other person ever has or ever will."

"Is that why I woke up alone?" He flinched. The hurt was raw in her eyes.

"I left because I was afraid of what I was feeling. I have some things that 
I have to work out, some unfinished business, before I feel that I can be 
for you what you need."

He could see her jaw tense. His communication skills were lacking here. Of 
course, she wasn't getting the full story either.

"Funny, I could've sworn you were exactly what I needed. Remember Mulder, 
*you* kissed me, I didn't look for this. But...if you feel like something is 
missing, then you're right, we should never...have done what we did," her 
voice was faltering.

Mulder moved closer. Her composure was breaking down in his proximity. He 
could see tiny muscles in her chin quivering as she tried to maintain her 
composure. His face was just a breath away from hers. She couldn't look at 
him. His next words were soft, intimate.

"What we did was make love Scully." Her eyes were welling with tears as he 
tilted her head gently upwards. "Don't doubt that I love you. Never doubt 
that," he whispered. He lowered his mouth to hers, damning the consequences. 
Tears flowed freely from her eyes as she molded her body to his, allowing 
herself to feel the closeness of him.

Mulder was a complex person. But she felt, as he held her, that he truly did 
love her and that whatever was causing his hesitation, it wasn't her. She 
knew him well, and none of his distance was about her. She was vaguely 
embarassed for having turned it all inward and having blamed him for his 
lack of feeling. Clearly, this wasn't the case. Whatever was on his mind, he 
was trying to do their relationship justice.

Mulder continued to hold her in his arms, comforting her, whispering 
soothing words into her ear, raining fire kisses over her face and neck till 
her tears stopped. Her robe lay open, his hands intimately caressing her 
within. He could feel his strong desire for her surging.

"Better?" he asked. She nodded faintly.

The shrill ring of Mulder's cell phone interrupted the moment. They both 
smiled as Mulder reached for it.

"Mulder"

Scully couldn't hear the other end of the conversation. She wasn't really 
paying attention either as the promise of the night invaded her mind. Things 
were going to be okay between them, that was all she could think about.

"Okay, I'll be right in then" he said as he clicked off the phone.

"Something wrong?"

"Well, I don't know really. It seems that someone might have broken into the 
office, they want me to come down and figure out if anything's been tampered 
with."

He was tapping the phone absently.

"I'll get dressed then."

"No, Scully," his mind coming out of his reverie. "I'll just run down and 
figure it out, I'm sure it's nothing."

She didn't look sure about that. He smiled and bent down to kiss her.

"And I'll be back." Scully felt a warm hopeful happiness engulf her.

They would be okay.

With that, he turned and headed out the door. The first thing he noticed was 
that the light outside the building was out. As he stepped off the last 
step, a man swept up beside him, pulling him along. Mulder could make out 
Adam's face in the dark.

"Keep walking."

*Jesus, no, not now.*

They were met by another man as they reached the corner of the building. 
Stick slipped Mulder's coat off and reached for his gun. Mulder stopped him 
instinctively. There was no going back now he realized. His momentary 
flicker of panic abated. He had known somehow that the phone call wasn't 
legitimate. He handed him the gun. As an afterthought, he reached down into 
his ankle holster and relinquished that one as well. He knew things had to 
look real or this would all be for naught.

"Watch too." Mulder took his watch off. Stick disappeared back around the 
front.

"Are we a go gentlemen?" Adam spoke into a small mike attached to his 
headset. He pulled Mulder along the walkway beside the building.

"Copy. Stu?"

They stopped at a black van at the rear of the building. He turned and 
looked at Mulder. "It's a go," he said as much to Mulder as to the mike. He 
pushed him into the back of the van as a loud explosion rocked the area.

"Jesus!" Mulder started out again. Two soldiers grabbed him and closed the 
doors. "You might have killed people!" he spat out angrily. They held him on 
the floor as Adam seated himself on the chair adjacent to a wall of 
technology. Screens covered one of the walls of the van, along with other 
surveillance equipment.

Adam pointed to one of the monitors. On it showed Scully's livingroom. They 
watched as she got up off the floor where the blast had knocked her and ran 
out the door.

"She's fine," Adam said almost absently, all business. He was making 
connections and adjusting wires. The van was heading forward with a purpose. 
He had work to do.

"Sound off people...." Adam demanded into the mike.

"All's good here, boss." Mulder could hear their voices coming from the 
speakers now.

"Running fine here."

"No trouble sir"

"Case, tell me it was clean," Adam petitioned.

They listened but heard nothing but silence.

"Case, you copy?" Mulder could see Adam tensing.

"Yes, sir it was clean," came Case's breathless response. Adam leaned back 
in his chair and let out a sigh of relief.

"Let me go!" Mulder demanded of the soldiers. They looked to Adam, he 
nodded. As soon as they released him, he threw himself on Adam, knocked him 
off his chair and landed a punch to his jaw before the soldiers pulled him 
off.

"That's for your whole spy game you son-of-a-bitch!"

"Let him go!" Adam ordered as he got up and returned to his seat. Adam all 
but ignored him. It was as though he'd expected the punch and was allowing 
Mulder to vent. The blow was completely inconsequential to him.

"Better sit down, before you fall down."

Mulder slumped down on the bench next to the soldiers. He pressed his head 
back against the van and closed his eyes. Taking his anger out on Adam 
wasn't helping anything. He had made a decision and needed to follow through 
with the consequences. Jesus, he was sounding to himself a whole lot like 
Scully.

*Oh Scully, what you must be feeling. I'm sorry, so so sorry.*

He stared over at the monitor. Her apartment was empty, the door still 
seemed to be wide open, but it was hard to tell from the angle of the 
camera. Glass and small debris littered her livingroom. Mulder saw that the 
blast had shattered her windows. Adam glanced back at him, then reached up 
and turned off the monitor. Mulder closed his eyes again.

======================

When they arrived at their destination, Mulder was surprised to find that 
they weren't at the compound he had visited.

"You'll be here for a few days, till we're sure all's clear." Adam was 
really looking at him for the first time that night. "Look, I'm sorry. This 
isn't a part I like. Cut to heal," he explained. He was looking at Mulder 
with truly compassionate eyes.

"Let's just get this done so that it can all end."

Adam nodded stiffly. They were in an underground garage of some sort, the 
soldiers flanking them as they moved through an entrance. The place wasn't 
big. Mulder knew that they were still in Maryland from the lack of driving 
time. Adam showed him to a room that was furnished simply with a cot and the 
ever-comfortable grey wool, army issue blanket.

"You want anything to eat?" Mulder crashed down onto the cot, ignoring the 
question.  Adam left, shutting the door on his way out.

======================

The next few days were the hardest for him. Adam was nowhere to be found. 
Mulder was finding himself a virtual prisoner and was growing restless. He 
wished that he could jusitfy his unease with the thought that maybe this was 
some elaborate kidnapping. But he knew that that wasn't the case.

The guards posted at the only exit wouldn't answer his questions. One of 
them would serve him his meals. At some point while he slept, they would 
trade off and he would see a brand new couple of biots when he woke. There 
were no shower facilities, only a toilet and a sink in the bathroom. The 
place was small, just four rooms with cement walls. There was precious else 
in the underground lair besides boxes and boxes of equipment and supplies.

He spent the first day going through some of the boxes for lack of something 
better to do. He'd tried talking to the guards. No one was talking. They 
didn't answer any questions. He was beginning to think they really were 
robots. Mulder had the distinct impression that if he tried seriously to 
leave, they would shoot him without hesitation. So, with nothing better to 
do, he had started opening things.

Most of the equipment was generic surveillance crap. The rest seemed to be 
blankets, linen and camping equipment. Not enough to keep his mind busy and 
off of what was going on out there. Eventually, Mulder just had to deal with 
his own mind.

Somewhere around what he figured was the second evening, Adam appeared 
again.

"We're moving you." He looked at Mulder's unkempt appearance. "I'm sorry. 
We'll be going to the compound. How are you holding up?"

"Better." It was true. The time alone had given Mulder a chance to let go of 
alot of the frustration and focus on his goal of getting back to Scully.

"That's good. Ready to go?"

"Give me some time to pack all my stuff, and I'll be right with you," Mulder 
said facetiously. They moved towards the entrance.

"How did things go?" he asked.

"They went well, as well as these things do."

"How is....do you know how Scully is doing?"

Adam stopped walking and turned to face Mulder.

"Don't do that, man. You're gonna twist yourself in knots." As an 
afterthought, he added "She's doing about as well as you'd expect. She's 
right in there up to her elbows, keeping our boys awfully busy."

Mulder smiled at this. Scully was a top investigator. He wondered if she 
could figure it out, if she knew that he was alive, if they'd left anything 
for her to go on.

=========================

When the air concussion had knocked her to the ground, she'd been in the 
process of putting on some music. She jumped to her feet and flew out the 
door and into the night air. What she saw there stunned her. Mulder's car, 
hardly recognizable, was ablaze. The force of the blast had blown doors, 
trunk and hood open. Her mind went numb. She felt helpless standing there. 
In the distance, sirens wailed their way closer.

NONONONONONONONONO was all her mind could create. She crumpled to the 
ground, unbelieving.

"Lady, come on, back away." Someone was pulling her to her feet and pulling 
her back towards her building. Car alarms were wailing as people gathered 
around the disarray. She looked up at the stranger. Her mind finally kicked 
in. She raced back to the apartment.

As she threw on her clothes, she dialed the bureau, ordering their 
investigative teams to work.

She arrived back on the street in agent mode. People were gathering around, 
staying back but watching the chaos. She worked at containing the area, 
searching the perimeters with her eyes, trying to find anything out of the 
ordinary.

Her mind worked overtime, but with a calculated numbness to it. Somewhere 
deep down, she clung to the hope that this wasn't his car, that maybe he 
wasn't inside. When the firetrucks showed up, she took charge of them as 
well, making sure that no evidence would be compromised. As various units 
from the bureau showed up, she was the one to direct their actions.

It wasn't until AD Skinner arrived, that Scully was forced to stop and 
think. He approached her as she was ordering some men to canvass the area 
for any possible witnesses. The fire was out, but still smoldering.

"Agent Scully, do you want to tell me what happened here?"

"A car exploded, sir," she offered as she continued to look at a map of the 
area. "I want everyone in these adjacent buildings questioned, as well as 
anyone living within a three block radius. See if anyone has seen anything 
unusual." The men listening to her complied and scattered to do her bidding.

"Agent Scully, can I talk with you a minute?" She looked up then. He could 
see that she was trying hard to maintain her composure. She was managing 
better than anyone else could have.

"Was Mulder in that car?"

"We don't know that, sir," she answered factually. Looking at him, she 
realized that he was asking for more personal reasons. She shifted her eyes. 
"He got a phone call, asking him to go down to the bureau." She glanced up 
at him. "The next thing I knew, there was an explosion."

He nodded, not wanting to press her. Containing the crime scene was going to 
be all-important in working this all out.

=======================

Three days later, Skinner called Scully into his office. She arrived looking 
tired.

"Sir?"

"Sit down Agent Scully."

She remained standing. She was working hard to project her strength. She was 
tired of the constant "Iamsosorrys" and the condescending 
"iftheresanythingwecandos".

She knew that he had called her into his office for more than an update. 
Sitting down meant that the news would come. She didn't want to sit. Skinner 
nodded acceptance of this.

"Forensic Odontology matched what they were able to find with Mulder's 
records."

"I know that sir, the records could have been falsified."

Skinner tensed. This wasn't going to be easy.

"This morning the DNA tests came back and confirmed what we all suspected."

She looked at him. Her mind was grasping at the implausible.

"I won't accept that," she stated simply.

Skinner moved around his desk towards her. She flinched back from him.

"Look, you have to look at the evidence. You have always been good at that. 
The facts speak for themselves."

"Don't you think I would know?!" She was suddenly losing her well-maintained 
control. This was the first time since the blast that Skinner had seen any 
loss of that control. And she wasn't offering much of it here. He wanted to 
comfort her, but knew that she would just begin crying which he knew she 
didn't want to do. "Wouldn't I have felt something? I mean, we were partners 
for years. More than that, we were....friends." She closed her eyes to the 
scene.

"I think that confirming the identity of the body is over. We have to move 
forward and concentrate on who did this and why."

"You can do that, I want to know where he is."

"If he's alive, then why hasn't he made contact with you?"

"I don't know," she replied simply, the control coming back into her voice.

"Scully, there are the arrangements to be made."

"I have other things I want to check on. That body is NOT Mulder. And I am 
not burying a stranger."

He was at a loss for words. He was no champ with women. He felt awkward in 
this situation and was somewhat grateful when Scully turned and walked out 
of the office. He felt beaten. He wasn't sure he could help her. In fact, he 
should be taking her off of the case altogether. She was driving everyone on 
the investigation crazy. She was being difficult and uncooperative.

She was behaving exactly like Mulder.

=================================

Mulder felt refreshed from his shower. The clothes he donned now were more 
SWAT team attire than civies. The men in black's men in black wear. He found 
Adam in the tech room.

Adam handed him a SIG to put in his holster, one of the few things he still 
had from the other night. Adam smiled at him as he handed him another one, 
this time a Smith and Wesson 9mm which he promptly stuck in his ankle 
holster, his second souvenir from his past life.

"Sign here."

"Paperwork for covert operations, what next?" He stared at the paper a 
moment, then signed "Saint" on the line. Adam smiled again.

Adam held up a small handheld device that looked like a remote car alarm to 
Mulder.

"This...is a panic button. Pressing it three times in succession emits a 
signal and we can find you anywhere in the world. You carry it with you at 
all times."

"For when I've fallen and can't get up?"

"For when you're trapped and need an evac. *Not* for when you are caught. 
For that...we have this." He held up a small glass tube of green liquid 
attached to claw-like wires. Realization dawned on Mulder.

"It's quick, painless. It attaches to a tooth pretty easily and sits under 
your tongue. You have to bite down hard to break the glass. No worries if 
you accidentally swallow it either."

"Guess at that point I wouldn't be too worried about cutting my tongue, 
huh?" Adam didn't smile.

Case stuck his head in the door. "Boss, we got trouble."

They followed him out to the monitors. "Take a look." They were looking at 
Scully's livingroom. Mulder was surprised to see that all of the debris was 
cleaned up.

*She always was a better housekeeper than I was*

The screen was empty. Then Scully entered the room from the kitchen carrying 
a small plastic ziploc bag. It appeared empty. Even Mulder knew that it 
carried something of significance by the way she carried it.

"It's a hair."

Adam sighed. "She is keeping us on our toes and then some," he murmured.

"'K, contact our man again and have him do a switch in the lab...again," 
Adam ordered pointedly.

Everyone but Mulder turned and started to move away.

"She's not going to the lab with that."

Everyone froze and turned to look at Mulder.

"So where is she taking it?"

"My guess would be to the lone gunmen for DNA," Mulder stated, still staring 
at Scully as she grabbed her coat and headed out the door.

"Here we go again!" grimaced Case, the others around the screen murmured 
frustration.

Adam was calm. "Let's work the problem people."

"Looks like maybe it would've been easier to bring her in, eh boss?" Mulder 
quipped, dripping sarcasm. Adam was not amused.

"We're going and you are gonna tell me where," he said to Mulder. It was a 
challenge of sorts.

Case, Adam and Mulder were in the van and travelling within a minute. Mulder 
gave Case the gunmen's address. Adam was changing his clothes using items 
from under the bench Mulder had sat on the night he disappeared.

"Boss?" Case handed Adam back a ziploc bag containing exactly one hair. 
Mulder had no idea where he had gotten it in the short amount of time since 
they'd walked from the screen to the van. They seemed to be a very well 
organized group. At times they seemed like kids playing spy games. At other 
times, like now, he could see that they not only knew how to play, but they 
were damned good at it.

"Who was the guy?" Mulder asked of the hair.

"A body donated to science, proferred by us...it's science of a sort. We 
couldn't match everything that quickly, so we've pretty much been playing 
catch up ever since. Luckily your girlfriend didn't do the autopsy herself. 
We have a good man inside."

"Very lucky."

"I make my own luck. What would be my in?" Adam asked of Mulder as he 
flipped a t-shirt over his head.

"God, I dunno," his mind was working. "These guys are mega-paranoid, you 
aren't getting in easy, that's for sure. Uh, they do contract work, but they 
are going to ask how you knew where they were. It's not something they 
advertise. I can't see this will be productive, you aren't getting close to 
the sample."

"What kind of contracting?"

"Computer hacking, that type of thing. They live for the impossible goal. 
They are fascinated with technology and can jump through some pretty amazing 
hoops when needed. But their overt paranoia's gonna make it hard."

Adam nodded thoughtfully. His eyes roamed the air trying to grasp something 
just out of reach. The van was making its way to the gunmen's headquarters. 
He seemed to settle on a possibility.

"Who could have sent me?"

"No one I know of, besides yours truly. Like I said, they are pretty 
secretive."

Adam held up the small bag. He suddenly jumped over to the communications 
board, flicked a switch and applied a headset.

"Book, find Ice for me." Adam listened for a moment, turned to Mulder and 
flicked another switch, turning the conversation to speakers.

"Could you repeat that for me?"

"I said she's at the Hoover building. She's not going anywhere. I think she 
just gave it to the lab." Adam locked eyes with Mulder as he considered 
this.

"No, I'm gonna go with my gut here. Mulder's right, she's going to the 
gunmen's to have the sample analyzed. She's not going to trust the same team 
with another analysis."

"Then why's she in the lab then?" Ice challenged.

Mulder continued to be amazed at the depth of reach these people had. When 
this was all over, Mulder doubted that he would be able to ever feel he 
wasn't being watched. He wanted to know how they got to the places they did. 
How the hell can someone hide cameras in the Hoover building?! Now wasn't 
the time to ask, but he filed the question away amongst the thousand others 
he was determined to have answers for.

"She's getting a comparative sample," Adam replied as if this was 
self-evident. Ice moaned at his own stupidity.

"Case...ETA?"

"About seven minutes."

"Ice, do we have anyone on her?"

"No sir," came the reply.

"Looks like we are basing this on how well you know your partner." Adam 
hoped that it was well.

He grabbed a stack of paper out of the cupboard by the monitors.

"Pick your paper, let's write me a letter." Mulder chose a generic pad and 
grabbed a pen from the quasi desk. Mulder knew what the game was now.

"What am I calling you?" he asked Adam.

"Adam Roberts. And you'll like this Saint, there's an identity that goes 
with the name we've created just for this scenario. Keep it generic."


Mulder wrote:

"Roberts,

I know some friends who might be able to help. They call themselves the lone 
gunmen. They are an extreme government watchdog organization. More paranoid 
than I am, but good at what they do.

When you get to town, give me a call and I'll take you over. I'm out working 
the field a lot, so you might be on your own unless you can give me a time 
to stick around for. You have my number. Can try them on your own if you're 
brave.

566 East Road
Reston, Maryland

You still owe me Knicks tickets and I aim to collect.

Mulder"

Adam read it over, then picked up his phone and dialed Mulder's machine. 
"Mulder, it's Adam. I'm in town, tickets in hand. If you want 'em, you gotta 
call me back. My cell's 555 7611. I can't stay long, so call."

"Set." They pulled up not far from the address.

"Ice?" he spoke into the mike.

"Still here boss. She's on her way. Looks like you were right. A girl with a 
mission."

He turned to Mulder. "If you're right about this, we'll wait till she's just 
inside, giving her enough time to hand over the samples, but hopefully they 
will still be in the open. I have a feeling we'll be back though, in which 
case, we're gonna need the intelligence" he commented forebodingly.

Adam lifted a case onto the bench. Opening it, he retrieved a small 
microphone that was little more than a small button with a wire extending 
from it. He clipped it just inside his jacket along the seam, taking care 
that the tip was sticking out. It was hardly noticeable.

Case moved from the driver's seat to the back. He took out something that 
looked like a microchip. With tweezers, he placed it carefully into Adam's 
ear.

"Your turn at the helm, Saint." Mulder wasn't liking his new name in the 
least. He climbed over to the chair.

"These are the receivers for our mikes. He's got number three on." Mulder 
switched up number three. Adam spoke into his mike and the sound came out 
clear.

Adam grabbed what looked like a baseball cap out of the bench. He fiddled 
with the inside a while, then put it on his head.

"There's only one of those. The cap is always '646'." With that advice, he 
reached over Mulder and clicked on a monitor, entering "646" into the keypad 
below it. Mulder could make out the dark inside of the van on the screen, 
apparently from a small camera on the hat, although he couldn't make out 
where exactly on the hat it was. The swirl design on the front of the cap 
was non-remarkable and no shiny pieces could be seen. Question one thousand 
and two for later.

"He's wearing number four in his ear." Mulder flicked up number four, put on 
a headset, plugging the connection into the port below the switch.

"Hear me?"

"Loud and clear." Case showed Mulder a few tricks of the trade. Mulder was 
in his element. He was feeling more productive than he had over the last 
couple of days. They were all set, now they just had to play the waiting 
game. He turned back to Adam.

"How come you got a normal name?" he asked.

Adam smiled, "Cause I got to pick." He turned more serious then. "Actually, 
I'm really only one of a few with an actual identity. It's not my own, but 
it's been useful. We needed it a few years back and it's been handy. Adam's 
got a job, pays his taxes and his rent on time. He's in pharmaceutical 
engineering. The quietest neighbor you would ever want--I'm never home, 
which is somewhere in Boston." Then he added "You've pretty much been the 
neighbor from hell. See? Life balances itself out in the end." Mulder 
smirked, knowing the truth of this.

"How'd you get involved with the Council?"

Adam's face clouded over, he turned and fiddled with the monitor. "I knew 
someone in the organization. They asked me to join. I had nothing, no one in 
my life. Thought I could help. Been addressing my mail to a compound in 
Carroll County ever since."

"How long?"

"Forever. I didn't exist before this." Mulder could see that he truly meant 
what he was saying.

"How have you been able to keep such an intricate organization a secret so 
long?"

"A lot of waiting out in unremarkable vans on pretty redheads," he 
lightened. "Actually, there have been times when things have almost fallen 
apart. People have lost their lives. Coverup has taken more time than 
intelligence and manuevers. Most of your sources were Syndicate members, 
working secretly for our organization." His eyes grew distant. "It's cost 
them their lives."

Mulder nodded his head slowly, lost in his own memories of Deep Throat and 
X. He felt a wave of guilt nipping at the heels of the memories.

"Why didn't the Syndicate just kill me and be done with it? I mean, that's 
always puzzled me."

"There were times when they tried. Other times when they worked at people 
around you as a means to distraction." Mulder thought of Scully's abduction 
and cancer. "Most of the time they couldn't though....too many risks. You 
were too high profile. You are an underworld cult icon. You've kept yourself 
high profile at conventions and by keeping yourself in print when no one 
else had the guts. I am sure that you have no idea of the popularity you 
have with generation tech. Some thought it was fool hardy, but it's kept you 
alive." His eyes locked Mulder's. "Some would even say you are brilliant, 
courageous.

"We could have asked you to join anytime cause it doesn't matter to us what 
crusades are launched in your name, or who picks up the torch. But it would 
have given the Syndicate reason to suspect that we existed. But now, things 
are going to blow sooner than any of us thought. We only need your death 
credible for a short time, so that our connections aren't severed. Bringing 
you in was a good move."

Case looked up at Adam. Mulder felt that there was more to this than he was 
getting. He was just about to ask about it when Case pointed out the 
windshield.

There she was. Mulder could see Scully's car pull up about half a block 
away. Even from that distance, she looked tired. She paused for a moment on 
the steel steps that led to the Lone Gunmen's office. The bag was in her 
hand. She held it up for inspection. Mulder imagined the torment she was 
feeling, he looked down.

"Looks like you were right." Case was noticeably relieved. Adam seemed to 
expect it.

He gave himself a cursory inspection. He then got out and started his walk 
towards the Lone Gunmen's office. Scully was inside.

When he knocked at the door, he could feel himself being watched. He glanced 
up and saw a camera hung just below the awning. He thought it was ironic 
that these social misfits that people thought of as paranoid were about the 
only ones who actually knew what the score was.

"Who's there?" In the van, Mulder recognized Frohike's voice.

"Uh, it's Adam Roberts."

There was a pause. "What's your business?"

"I was told you might be able to help me."

"Come back later."

"I don't have a whole lot of time. I will make it worth your while."

There was another pause, some sort of dilemma was being sorted out on the 
other side.

"Sorry, come back later." This forced Adam to use his trump card.

"Fox Mulder sent me."

After just a moment's hesitation, the door opened slightly, the chain still 
drawn across. Frohike eyed him suspiciously.

"How do you know Mulder?"

"Well, we were friends a long time ago. He told me that you could help me 
with something. Can I come in?"

"When did you last talk to Mulder?"

"Dunno, a couple of weeks ago I guess. He had sent me your address in 
response to a request for help that I sent him. I called and told him that I 
was coming to town, but I haven't been able to reach him since I arrived. 
Thought that maybe you would be willing to talk to me."

"You thought wrong." The door shut again. Just as Adam was about to walk 
away, he heard the chain being removed.

The door opened slowly, Adam took a tentative step inside. Scully was 
nowhere to be seen, nor was the all-important ziploc bag. As Adam panned 
around the room slowly, Mulder could see that the gunmen were suspicious, 
but curious of him.

"How do you know Mulder?"

"I knew him back in the 80's. He was at Oxford. We ran in the same circles a 
bit back then. Look, are you able to help me? Cause I really have to move on 
this."

"What do you need?"

"I am looking for some information on a man. Anything you could get on him 
would be great. He has been going by the name of Dr. Karl Drake. He's been 
working with a pharmaceuticals team out of Fort Stanton. That's all I have."

"That's it? A name is all you have?"

"Mulder seemed to think it would be enough for you to come up with 
something." They seemed suitably flattered. "He said that you guys could 
hack into almost anything. I know his photo's on the data base at the FBI, 
Mulder told me that much, but he couldn't find anything more about him."

"Do you have the picture?"

"No, Mulder was going to give it to me, but as I said, I haven't been able 
to reach him."

Mulder was disturbed at how easily the lies were flowing, but he could see 
that the gunmen were buying things, albeit suspiciously.

"How well did you know Mulder?" Everyone turned to the voice. Scully was 
standing in a doorway to the left of Adam.

"Mulder told me there were only three gunmen," he stated suspiciously.

"You didn't answer the question." Everyone in the room expected the answer. 
Mulder spoke into the mike.

*Tell her you used to hang with a group in a coffee shop in London named 
Trixie's Bell.*

The words flowed easily from Adam's mouth. "Not all that well, well enough. 
A group of us used to bum around at Trixie's Bell overseas. I knew that the 
FBI were looking at him. I tracked him down about a month ago, hoping that 
he could use his resources to help me. I need to keep this quiet."

"Funny, he didn't mention you."

Mulder spoke low into the mike again, *There's no reason I would have. She's 
heard of 'Trixie's Bell' from me, she's just trying to bait you.*

"Who are you?" Adam asked.

"I'm his partner."

"His partner? Nice to meet you then." He brighted and extended his hand, but 
she wasn't taking it. "Mulder said that he would introduce us. Scully, isn't 
it? Like the announcer? Is he around?"

"He's out of town for the time being." She said it in such a way as to 
preclude any further questions about him. Adam shifted uncomfortably.

"Well, then, can you ask him to call me so we can straighten this whole 
thing out? I feel like I am on the hotseat here."

Scully's eyes never faltered. She was looking for Adam's reaction. "No 
problem, I'll have him do that then. What's the number?"

She was playing things cool and not showing her hand. Mulder smiled.

*Taught her everything she knows*

"He has the number." Adam could play that game too.

"You said he sent you this address? Do you have proof of that?" Langly was 
jumping in this time.

Adam managed to look uncomfortable. He checked around at his pockets before 
pulling Mulder's letter from one. Scully all but snatched it out of his 
hands. She turned, took a moment to read it, then looked into some imaginary 
distance. The gunmen were waiting for her response. She nodded. It was his 
handwriting. It was his style of speech.

"Is there something wrong?" They all looked to Scully for the answer.

Scully handed the letter back. She seemed somewhat embarrassed. Adam was 
looking at her as though he was a little tired of the amplified paranoia. 
She suddenly felt just a little ridiculous. She had come to the gunmen's 
hangout today for the second time since the explosion. She came because 
she'd found their paranoia comforting. They joined her in her belief that 
Mulder was still alive and out there somewhere. And she hoped that they 
could help her prove it.

Frohike stepped in for her. "We'll see what we can do. It'll cost you."

The gunmen gathered around a terminal, turning on the computers and 
sub-machines necessary to hacking the FBI's NCIC d-base. Each took a turn 
eyeing him suspiciously. As they started into the mini-project, Adam noticed 
them getting progressively more engrossed. He took a few steps around, 
trying to loosen things up a bit, discreetly looking for the bag containing 
the hair. He spotted it on a desk towards the back of the room along with a 
vial, presumably the comparative sample.

"Where are you from?" Scully was asking simply, there seemed to be no 
strings attached to the question. To Adam, she looked sad, lonely, lost. A 
small part of him had a strong urge to just wrap her in his arms and comfort 
her. He knew her almost as well as he knew Mulder and could imagine the hard 
time they were forcing on her.

"Boston." Pity aside, he needed to get rid of her. She was watching him 
carefully. Scully nodded.

"Have you been partners with Mulder long?" He was moving around the room 
casually, closer to his target. He took a closer look at some of the 
equipment. Every few seconds, one of the gunmen would look up to see what he 
was doing. They were into the project though, each offering advice and 
tactics for their goal.

"Yeah, a few years now." She was looking reflective.

"Is he still as incredibly ingenious as he was back in Oxford? He was always 
three steps ahead of any of us. A lady's man to boot. It was no surprise to 
anyone when the Bureau aggressively recruited him. Other organizations 
looked at him too. True genius is rare. I am sure that he is light years 
ahead of everyone at the Bureau too, making his mark. We'll have to all get 
together, I can tell you some pretty interesting stories about your partner. 
He loved to walk on the wild side of reason, taking chances where no one 
else dared."

Adam was pushing all the right buttons. Scully looked up sharply. He seemed 
to have her sore spot well in hand and had given it a brisk rubbing. *That's 
enough. Back off!* Mulder hissed into his ear.

"Excuse me," she murmured as she walked out of the room.

"What did you say to her?!" Frohike demanded. They were all looking at him.

Adam just shrugged, seemingly totally oblivious. "I have no idea."

The monitor they were working on beeped, they turned their heads in unison. 
Adam looked over at the bag on the desk.

"Is that the York 6S8?" He moved deftly over to the desk. His back was to 
the gunmen. He touched the cue button on the equipment turning on a series 
of lights as his other hand made the exchange.

"Don't touch that!! That's an extremely fragile piece of equipment!" Frohike 
yelled quickly, moving between Adam and the desk. He glared a challenge at 
Adam. It was clear that Frohike wanted him out of there. Adam backed off 
innocently. The exchange had been made.

"Here we go...Dr. Karl Drake. DOB December 28th, 1940." The picture came up. 
Adam was truly interested in what he was seeing on the screen.

"Is that your man?" queried Byers.

Adam nodded. "I need to know anything you can get on this guy."

"What's it worth to you?" Langly inquired.

"Depends on what you get. I'll pay for the info though, no fears there."

Byers piped in, "This is going to take some time. We'll see what we can do. 
Come back tomorrow."

"I'll be in touch then." Adam motioned to the doorway Scully had gone 
through. "Tell, Scully that I said good-bye and that I'll see her soon."

============================

Case drove the van to Mulder's apartment. He ducked inside with the pad of 
paper and a letter Adam had fabricated to Mulder tucked inside his jacket.

"Three degrees of containment."

Mulder looked up at Adam. Although Adam hadn't hesitated to use Scully's 
pain against her, he found he had a growing respect for the man. Adam was 
smart, witty and didn't seem to think of him in terms of "Spooky". He could 
see why Adam ran the compound. He almost seemed to be a perfect combination 
of professionalism and willingness to go out on a limb. He wondered briefly 
if the roads had been different, if he himself would have been Adam Roberts.

"We have an appointment tonight Saint."

=================================

Adam wouldn't give Mulder much to go on about the appointment before they 
got into the helicopter. A long passageway in the compound had led to a 
stairwell, more guards and a Hogan's Heroes exit into a field. The 
helicopter had touched down as if on cue, they had climbed on board and were 
now headed somewhere under the cover of night. Mulder may not have known 
where he was going, but Adam had insisted he shave and clean up. That could 
only mean one thing in this context--he was meeting with the upper Council.

He was slightly unprepared for its proximity to the White House. They landed 
within half a mile and were led by soldiers into an underground tunnel. The 
security check they went through took their weapons. They climbed into 
something akin to a golf cart and drove to where Mulder imagined was 
somewhere under the White House. Even he was impressed. Can never hurt to 
have the president of a country on the good guys' side.

"They're waiting, sir," said the guard opening a door for the pair.

Mulder found himself in front of a group of business men seated around a 
table. He recognized a few of the men as Senators.

"Agent Mulder, we are very pleased that you've agreed to join us."

Mulder was just pleased to hear his own name again.

"He is going by the name Saint now, sir." Adam piped in. Killjoy.

"That seems appropriate Adam." Again Mulder seemed to be missing something 
in the suggestion.

They did a round of hand shaking and introductions, then all sat down, 
putting Mulder at the head of the table.

"*Saint*, do you have anything to add to our situation?"

"Well, sir, from what I have read this afternoon, your intelligence is 
limited to the information you have obtained from Shape Shifters or the 
Syndicate and only limited peripheral surveillance at best. I realize I am 
new to this organization but may I ask why you haven't thought it prudent to 
find your own answers?"

Senator McDougall, the suit that had originally addressed Mulder, decided to 
answer.

"Our goal up to this point has been to stay underground. The last thing we 
need is a war between ourselves and the Syndicate. That would in fact be an 
intergovernmental war that would tear the fabric of the country neatly in 
two. We have access to everything within the Syndicate. But the aliens are 
very aware that showing humans too much would compromise them. Their 
technology makes finding out things difficult for us. They contain 
themselves almost exclusively to their ships. Until we know how they plan on 
spreading the virus, it's been decided that simultaneous military strikes 
would be unadviseable."

Mulder nodded. "I can see that. There are really only two things that 
everyone on the earth could be exposed to. Water and air. Have they been 
looked into as a probable conductors?"

"Water isn't a good conductor for the virus. It's an oil base." Senator 
Mahon responded. "Air just doesn't seem practical, too many variables." 
Mulder thought about this.

"The bees proved to be ineffective at best in transmitting it...at least for 
a global contaminent. Grain maybe?" a man named Thorpe piped in.

"Truth is, we just don't know," Senator Mahon added.

"What about the antidote? What's happened with that?" Mulder asked.

"The Syndicate has developed a successful antidote that we are in the 
process of mass producing. We will be ready to distribute the antitoxin on a 
world wide scale just inside the alien's time table. It would help if we 
knew how they were going to distribute it though. We can't have the virus 
ever present as a looming threat to our future. It would only be a matter of 
time before they would develop a better virus. Do you have any suggestions?"

"It would seem to me that the best approach would be a small reconnaisance 
into one of their ships, see what we can find out. Once we figure it out and 
contain it, strikes against the aliens seem wise," Mulder suggested. He was 
a straight shooting kind of a guy, and this was no exception.

"Right inside the ships? That would be impossible!" argued one of the 
members loudly.

"No, sir. I beg to differ with you, it wouldn't be. I've been inside one of 
their ships. For something of this scale, there would have to be clues 
within that would tell us how they are planning their attack." There were a 
few murmurs of disapproval.

"Gentlemen, I agree with Saint. The time for being covert is over. I'm not 
saying we compromise our organization, but brazen moves may be what we need 
right now. We are all fearing the inevitable, but it's time we stood up 
because it isn't getting any easier from here. Time is running out," spoke 
McDougall. The group was silent.

"The President will never go for this," stated a man by the name of Porter. 
"It's too risky. *If* they make it in, their chances of finding what we are 
looking for are slim. But if they do, then their chances of getting out are 
even slimmer. No one on this operation is expendable. And we are risking 
tipping our hat. The President won't agree with you."

"Well, he'll have to," McDougall stated simply. The men at the table seemed 
to concur. "We'll keep the operative team down a minimum." He turned back to 
Adam. "Your team up for it?"

"We're ready, sir."

"Good, then we'll meet again in a week and discuss your findings."

"Or your remains," added Porter. "There is a way that you can communicate 
your findings from within the craft, isn't there?"

Adam nodded thoughtfully, paling slightly. "Yes, sir. We'll make this a one 
man, one way mission then."

Everyone around the table seemed to understand this. Everyone but Mulder.

They decided that the best target would be the ship that had the most alien 
activity around it, in Alberta. This also made it the most difficult. They 
agreed to leave the rest of the details to Adam's team.

=======================


Adam didn't usually talk much in Mulder's limited experience, but on the 
trip back to the complex, he talked even less. Mulder was silent himself, 
deep in thought over the meeting. He knew that Adam meant to take the 
assignment himself.

When they were safely inside the compound Mulder turned to him. "I would be 
the logical man to do this."

Adam smirked, almost sarcastically "All guts aren't you?"

Mulder was surprised to find that this comment hurt slightly.

"It makes sense, I have been inside before. This isn't something you can 
send a team in to do. It's been my life's work. I could die happy just 
getting some answers for myself. Besides, it's not like anyone would have to 
mourn me again." He said the last line fastetiously. Adam was hearing none 
of it though.

"You aren't going, no more to say." He was closing off the conversation. He 
turned and punched into the tech room.

"Book, call a meeting of the heads. I'll be in my office." Book stood up and 
grabbed his phone.

By the time the meeting was organized, Mulder had worked himself up to a 
good anger.

*What the hell am I doing here?*

Figuring out the puzzle was what he did best. He could never be a spectator 
in any assignment.

Adam outlined the mission. There was no crack in his professional exterior. 
Mulder listened as he went on. People took notes, each knowing which part of 
the assignment was whose. The crew exchanged some puzzled glances that Adam 
was going himself, but no one questioned him on it.

"I want everything ready in three days." Adam left abruptly.

Everyone got up and headed out of the office with a purpose. Book remained 
behind. Mulder eyed him curiously. There was something on his mind and 
Mulder felt it was somehow connected to the chip on his shoulder. He waited 
for him to speak, each trying to wear the other down with their eyes. It was 
a childish game of who could stare the longest. Book spoke.

"Has he told you why he named you Saint?" Mulder shook his head slightly.

"I have a feeling that you're gonna fill that in for me though."

"He believes that you are the *chosen one*. The one that will pull out the 
magic bandaid and fix the world. He's got almost everyone here convinced of 
that too. I believe that you will get us all killed, that's what I believe."

"I didn't ask for any of this. I am not his savior."

"No, you're not. You're an arrogant, over-zealous hotshot. You've had some 
hits, but you are going to get him killed," he dramatized. "And the rest of 
the world right along with him. I am sure that this assignment was your 
idea. It bugs the hell out of me that you are here. No one on the Council 
wanted you in. Only McDougall and Adam," he scoffed. "Even your supporters 
here thought that bringing you in was an unnecessary risk. I can't think of 
anyone being able to end this all badly quicker than you though."

Mulder had had enough.

"Save your 'holier-than-thou' crap for someone who'll listen to it. I have 
dealt with people like you all my life. You're the ones that want to 
distance yourselves from anyone who thinks even remotely differently than 
you do. We scare you, cause we show you the 'might-have-beens' of your own 
pathetic lives. I'm here now and I am going to do what I can to help. You 
have a lousy attitude and that, more than anything, is fatal in this 
context." He got up to leave.

"It's better than the misguided view that Adam has of you. He *needs* to 
believe in you. He *needs* for you to succeed," he paused knowing that he 
had Mulder's full attention. Mulder had the distinct impression that he'd 
had this conversation planned from their first meeting. "Otherwise....his 
father's death would have been meaningless."

"What the HELL are you talking about?" Mulder turned back to face him.

Book just smiled condescendingly. He had hit a nerve. Now he would just 
grind a bit.

"You mean he hasn't told you?" feigning surprise. "You're the reason his 
father is dead. His father gave his life for you. And for your cause."

With that, he turned and walked past Mulder, leaving him speechless.

===============================

"You and I are going to have an overdue talk," Mulder said to Adam as he 
burst into the bunker. They were alone in the room. Adam was lying fully 
clothed on his bed, apparently deep in thought. He just nodded. He was 
expecting this. He sat up.

"Let's start with why I am here!" Mulder didn't try to mask his anger.

"You're here because I brought you in." Adam spoke carefully.

"Oh cut that shit out! I want to know why you chose me! Why me, of all 
people?! You don't need me here! Why the hell did you pull me out of my 
life?!"

Adam sighed. "Because I believe in you."

"Well, believe this--I am *no* saint. I would prefer 'Fox' to that name! If 
you know me at all, you know how much I hate THAT one! And I am beginning to 
be suspicious of your motives in this. Are you getting some sadistic high 
from what you've done to my life? What you've done to Scully's?"

Mulder was almost sorry that he'd said that. He could see the hurt flash 
across Adam's face. Although he was all business with anyone else, there was 
something to Adam's eyes that just seemed to speak of innocence and an 
almost child-like trust when he looked at Mulder. Mulder had noticed it 
before, but he was seeing it in full again.

He quieted his voice a bit. "Maybe it's time then, that I knew the whole 
truth." Adam nodded.

Although Mulder was too wound up to sit, he forced himself to take a seat on 
the bunk across from Adam. They sat there facing one another.

Mulder said nothing, giving Adam time to compose himself. Adam wore none of 
his professionalism, he just looked tired and whipped. He began slowly.

"My father worked with the CIA, along with your father. Well, they 
officially worked for the State Department, but the Project began through 
the CIA. They had a lot in common. They both helped start up the Syndicate 
and then the Council, working in people above and below them within the 
government. They were careful.

"Things got out of hand for the Syndicate. The aliens needed to secure their 
loyalty. Everyone was going crazy at having to give up someone they loved. I 
was my father's only child." He was staring off into the distance, some 
inner battle being waged against emotion. He cleared his throat.

"He and my mother decided that turning me over to the aliens wasn't an 
option. They sent me away when I was eight. I was sent up to Canada. I lived 
with a family who took good care of me. I never saw my father again until I 
was in my early 20's. My mother had taken my place. She's never returned 
from their ship." Mulder watched the kaleidescope of emotion running across 
his face. He was fighting for control.

"When I saw him again, I knew him instantly." Adam smiled sadly, lost in 
some memory. "He was a wonderful, kind man. He brought me into the 
organization. It was perfect. I didn't exist really anywhere. He was 
preoccupied with the project. It consumed him."

Adam glanced away, dealing with his own guilt. "I just couldn't get into 
it...aw...I mean, I went through the motions, just never really felt the 
passion my father did.

"I knew about you a month after you found the X-files. My father was 
captivated. I guess I was jealous in a way. I dunno...." he trailed off.

"He marveled at how you had built up a castle out of the ashes. You had 
gathered some really good evidence based on snippets of information. You 
were smart enough to figure it out and daring enough not to give a damn 
about what anyone would think. My father sat poised on his seat, he couldn't 
wait for your next move. When things got dangerous for you, he went out of 
his way to protect you...even at the risk of the project....even at risk to 
himself.

"The night he was killed, I knew it was going to happen. He knew it was 
going to happen. We had a long talk. He told me that he loved me and 
that..." his voice cracked almost imperceptibly, "he believed in you. He 
went onto that bridge, taking your partner's place... in the exchange for 
your life."

Mulder's eyes were fixed on Adam. He digested the information.

"Deep Throat," Mulder whispered. Adam nodded.

"Well, it's nice to know you haven't forgotten him." Adam had meant it as a 
poor pitch at humour, but underneath was a vein of truth.

"You must hate me," Mulder said carefully.

Adam was startled by the comment. "Yeah, I did for a while. I watched your 
every move, your every case. I used every string and every resource 
available." He looked down, fiddling with an invisible piece of lint in his 
hand. "I hated you enough to train a high-powered rifle on your head as you 
were out jogging one morning." Mulder studied him intensely.

"Had you in my cross hairs. I almost pulled the trigger too. As I sat there, 
my finger poised to make the strike, our last conversation came to me. He 
believed in you. I guess that I couldn't take that away from him. Pulling 
the trigger would've invalidated my father in some way. I couldn't do it. 
Not because of you but because of him. After that, I took a more conscious 
look of who you were, trying to see what he did. And...after a while...I 
did.

"My whole life is this project. Giving my life for it is nothing. But I 
won't put your life in jeopardy. Maybe part of bringing you in is some form 
of hero worship. But I truly believe that you are the key to success here. I 
really do."

Mulder could see the conviction in his eyes. After years of profiling 
people, Mulder was rarely surprised. Scully surprised him--alot. But now so 
did Adam. He realized that it had something to do with a basic concept--Adam 
was honest to the core. Mulder found that to be an extremely rare quality.

Adam was that simple. But he was also that complex. Everyone under his 
command obviously respected him, even Book. Mulder was quite sure that they 
would follow him to the ends of the earth. He was charismatic, the trait of 
a good leader. But to Mulder, there was something else he was seeing. Mulder 
felt that there was a bond between them. A fraternity of sorts. Like Scully, 
Adam could protect himself just fine. Yet, as with Scully, he felt 
protective of Adam, like a big brother to him. Maybe it was that he was that 
same age as Samantha would have been. He felt priveleged to be the one who 
was trusted by him.

"Then let me go with you. I don't believe in the impossible scenario. This 
is a two man, two way mission." Adam looked intently at him. Finally, he 
nodded, realizing that going it alone had to end.

They sat there for a few minutes, each silent in their thoughts. Adam spoke 
first.

"You ever 'chute before?"

Mulder smiled. "Well, I guess that's not something that I could make a 
mistake twice with." They both smiled.

Mulder lay awake most of the night, still adjusting to sleeping in a bunker 
with a group of strangers. He thought about the evil in the world that had 
killed good men with indifference. For the first time in his new 
surroundings, Mulder didn't think about Scully as he fell asleep.

====================================

Scully stared at the gunmen. They glanced nervously at one another.

"I'm sorry," was all Frohike could manage. His eyes were red rimmed. Scully 
searched her mind for some way to make the findings untrue. She could see 
though by the look on their faces that they had made that search for her and 
had come up short. None of them could look her in the eye.

Byers piped in "Look, if there is anything we can do."

How she was hating that phrase! She wanted to shout, "Yeah, bring him back, 
find a way to turn back the hands of time so that I can make him stay with 
me, do something more productive than looking at me with pity!" But she knew 
that they meant well. She just nodded. Her mind was numb.

So...there it was. Mulder really is dead, proof undeniable in her hands. She 
thought that she could hear something audibly break in her then. She was 
free floating and lost. Nothing in the world seemed to have a hold of her. 
Nothing was real.

Byers and Frohike were at her side, almost carrying her to a chair as her 
knees betrayed her. Langly brought her a glass of water. She sipped at it, 
more to show appreciation than for any sense of need. She felt so hollow 
inside that she was sure the water fell right down to her feet from her 
throat.

"I'm...I'm alright," she pushed their hands away. "I guess it was just a 
shock. I still kinda thought..." She looked down at her hands. "I guess I 
held out hope." She felt a sudden urge to be outside and away from any eyes.

He'd been gone over a week now. The time had been consumed by the process of 
trying to deny it. Now there was this endless black hole as she stood on the 
event horizon. Nothing ahead, nothing behind. Nothingness.

"Thank you for your help," she whispered simply as she stood to leave.

"What about this guy Roberts?" She looked over at Frohike. "Do you want us 
to check into him further? Maybe he had something to do with..." He couldn't 
finish the sentence. In his own way, Melvin Frohike was trying to comfort 
her by helping her focus on a cause.

Scully stopped midway out the door. "What do you mean?"

"Nothing, we just have his information. Thought he would want it. He seemed 
to be in a big hurry for it. But he never picked it up."

Langly could tell that she became suspicious of this. He piped in. "We 
checked him out, he seems to be who he says he is...Oxford and all. Probably 
wouldn't hurt to go a bit deeper. The timing of his arrival can't be all 
coincidence. We have no way of contacting him either."

She pondered this. "I'll see what I can do."

======================================

She drove to Mulder's apartment. In the forefront of her mind, she was going 
to find out how to contact Adam. She was totally unprepared for the emotions 
that would surface as she entered his space.

She stood in the doorway frozen. She'd been inside the day after the 
explosion, looking for clues as to where he might be, but she'd held the 
hope that he was alive then. Now she was standing in a morgue of memories. 
Every tiny scrap of memory and thought seemed to shout his death at her. Her 
mind, which sounded remarkably like Mulder's voice in that moment, whispered 
"hold on Scully, this is going to hurt like hell." She persisted and took a 
step inside.

*Oh God*

The simple things cut deep. His leather jacket was hanging on his tacky 
billiard's tree hook just waiting for him to come in and wear it out.

She closed the door behind her and looked around. A cup sat on the counter, 
waging a silent vigil. A set of keys, a carelessly tossed magazine, the tv 
remote. She moved towards his desk. Every piece of paper, every sharpened 
pencil, every hastily scribbled note, everything was him. Everything was 
acutely tuned into his life. They all waited for him to come home and make 
their existance meaningful.

As Scully stared at the desk, she suddenly couldn't remember why she was 
there, or how she had gotten there. Without conscious thought, she turned to 
leave. She only wanted to stop the pain of the memories. As she got back to 
the door, her hand froze on the knob.

She'd passed his leather jacket again.

She used to wear her cross without thought really. But then, when she'd 
returned from her abduction, Mulder had given it back to her. He had kept it 
safe and sacred while she was lost. Again when she'd been taken from him, he 
had found the cross before he had found her. It seemed like a beacon to him. 
They never spoke of it, but she knew that it was not something she could 
ever stop wearing for him. He would notice.

*He would have noticed.*

Standing there, she realized that the jacket meant that much to her too. It 
was her favorite part of him. It was the embodiment of Fox William Mulder. 
Her Mulder.

She closed her eyes. Tentatively, she reached out and touched it. In her 
mind, she imagined him standing there beside her. Her fingers were careful 
to touch softly, lest the lie in her mind be exposed.

Still with her eyes shut to the world, she let her own coat drop to the 
floor at her feet. She took his jacket down and wrapped herself in it.

*God! I can smell him.*

She inhaled deeply, not wanting to waste any of that beautiful smell to the 
world. Her arms found the sleeves as she crushed it to her face. Her hands 
then went to the pockets. She stopped.

Her uncomprehending hand seized something inside the pocket. In slow motion, 
she pulled out her hand and opened her palm to the light. It held tiny 
sunflower seeds.

She heard her mouth make a soft cry from a distance. Her very essence was 
ripped wide open with a hot searing pain in her chest. She cried with 
abandon now, the tears welling up from the depths of her soul. She crushed 
her fist to her lips, willing her body to absorb the seeds and jacket. He 
was gone and she wanted to be gone with him. Her mind screamed that no one 
could survive the abject torment she was feeling as she cried 
uncontrollably.

When her knees gave out and she crumpled to a sobbing heap on the floor, 
there was no one there to catch her.

==========================

She awoke on his couch in the early morning. How many times had he slept 
here? The pain in her soul had ebbed to a dull ache, threatening to start up 
again at anytime. She pushed the thoughts away as she sat up. Her head 
throbbed. Her eyes were swollen from her tears hours before. She knew she 
looked like hell. She couldn't cry anymore. Emotionally, she was exhausted.

She forced her mind into clarity. She'd come here with a purpose. She stood 
up and stepped over to the desk. She shuffled papers around, looking for 
anything that might offer Adam's information. She found the pad Case had put 
in the bottom drawer. She could still see the indentation of his letter on 
it. She consciously numbed her mind to thoughts of Mulder.

As she straightened out her mess, she uncovered his answering machine. The 
light was blinking messages. She played the tape. There were two messages on 
it.

The first was a recording for an overdue movie. The second was from Adam. 
She jotted down his number quickly. She picked up his phone and dialed. The 
phone rang and rang until the recorded operator chimed in that he was not 
answering, apparently a message for people who couldn't figure that one out 
for themselves.

She didn't wonder about Adam's connection to Mulder's disappearance. She 
only felt she desperately needed to talk to him. She wasn't really sure why, 
but it had become all-important to her.

She removed Mulder's jacket. Carefully keeping her emotions in check, she 
folded it up to take with her. She picked up her own coat from the entrance 
area, put it on and headed home.

===========================

Adam hadn't answered his phone. He knew that it was Scully simply because he 
had been told that she was at Mulder's apartment. He had asked for updates 
on her activities as a precaution. The threat of discovery was fading, but 
he didn't call off her surveillance. He somehow felt responsible for looking 
after her. He knew that he had to run into the gunmen's office to tie up 
that lose thread. He didn't want to see Scully, it would remind him of how 
human he was.

He had performed heinous deeds with a cold calculated air about him. But 
that was not what he felt inside. He'd killed before. But never without the 
click of assurity that what he was doing was for the best. And afterwards, 
he always had to make a conscious effort to not think about the fact that 
the body had been someone's child, someone's brother, someone's father.

He didn't like what he was doing to Scully's life. He'd watched her many 
times. She had a quiet nobility to her. She rarely showed any vulnerability. 
And yet he had seen her vulnerable side...or glimpses of it. Her cold 
exterior belied inner vincibility. She never waivered in her belief system. 
If there could have been a love in his life, Scully would be it.

"I'm going to finish up business with the gunmen," he told Mulder. Mulder 
had been busy in the map room with Stick, trying to figure out the best 
place to land in the Alberta wilderness. He looked up at Adam and nodded. It 
bothered him that Adam could go back to his familiar grounds, but that he 
couldn't. He turned back to Stick, wanting to work the problem and get back 
to life.

==============================

Adam knocked again at the gunmen's door. Still no answer. He sighed, he 
didn't have time to come back again. There was too much to do for the 
reconnaisance mission. As he turned to leave, he was met by Scully coming up 
the steps. His mind worked overtime trying to pick the appropriate greeting. 
Her appearance picked for him.

"Scully....is there something the matter?" She looked, well, like shit. As 
much as Scully could, that is. Her eyes were red and tired. The strain was 
apparent.

"I'm glad that I ran into you. I've been trying to reach you by phone."

"Oh, yeah, sorry I haven't been carrying it. Are you ok?" She searched the 
air above his head. Somehow her standard answer to this Mulderism just 
didn't fit. She chose to ignore the question.

"Can we talk?"

Adam wasn't sure how to get out of this without being out of character and 
arousing her suspicions. At least that's what he told himself later.

"Sure, let's go over here." They moved down the sidewalk towards a nearby 
park. They found a bench and sat down.

"I owe you an apology. I was rude to you the other day. I guess that being 
suspicious of everyone has kind of become an occupational hazard to my 
social graces."

Adam nodded. The sun shone down wonderfully warm on their faces. Kids were 
playing a game of tag across the field.

"Mulder was killed over a week ago." The words just kind of fell out of her 
mouth.

"My god, what happened?"

"I don't know. I mean, it was an explosion. I just...he was involved in 
solving things that no one wanted solved. And...I guess that they just got 
tired of having to play coverup. He was just...following what he felt was 
the truth. Chasing ghosts." Her voice trailed off.

"So you think it was misguided then?" He was analyzing her in a way that he 
was ashamed of, yet he couldn't stop himself.

"I don't know. It got him killed. Was it worth it? I don't think so. I 
mean...at least not in my opinion."  She didn't know why she was telling him 
this, why she was offering so much of herself to a stranger. Maybe it had to 
do with the fact that he would be gone in a short while and she wouldn't 
have to deal with any repercussions. Maybe she just needed to connect with 
someone without the complications of facing them again. More likely she just 
felt that they shared something imaginary.

"Maybe I am just feeling sorry for myself. I miss him, you know? I guess 
that I am feeling more than a little lost." She was leaning forward with her 
elbows on her knees.  She looked up at him then, the pain apparent in her 
eyes. She tried to read something in his.

Hot tears brimmed her eyes suddenly then ran down her cheeks unchecked even 
as she looked at him. Adam lifted his hand and wiped them away gently. He 
knew her so well. He was fully surprised that she was confiding in him, but 
even more surprised that she'd allowed him the intimate gesture. He sat 
there silently mourning with her, afraid to say anything for fear he would 
just lose all composure and tell her everything.

"I don't know quite what to say," he finally managed.

"That's ok. I am glad that you've been able to listen. I'm sorry for 
spilling this all onto you like this." She was in control again.

"No, don't be sorry. I'm glad that I'm here."

"You know, Mulder didn't have any family. His parents and sister are gone."

He reached over and rubbed her back consolingly. "I am sure that he thought 
of you as his family." She nodded. Scully didn't think about the gesture as 
more than comfort, nor did Adam mean it as anything but that. He thought 
nothing of it in fact. As people did with actors on a screen, he tended to 
believe that she should know him just as he knew her. Scully was too lost in 
her pain to think about his familiarity as inappropriate.

Adam was really getting an up close and personal look at the chaos of his 
decisions. He waged an inner battle with his conscience. His mind mantra was 
repetitively voicing itself "she'll be fine, it's for the higher good; 
shellbefineitsforthehighergood" over and over again.

Only, he wasn't so sure. Hurting the ones you are closest to takes away a 
part of you that you can never grow back. And there were few people he was 
more familiar with. Often as he'd watched them both, he had felt that when 
things were all over, that they would all become close friends. Perhaps with 
Scully it could have been more. Their beliefs and  values were very close to 
the same.

Sitting here with her though, he realized with a sudden certainty that she 
would hate him in the end. She'd hate him for this moment of baring her pain 
to him. A pain based on a lie that he could have eased with a few words. He 
withdrew his hand and stood up.

She was surprised by his sudden withdrawal from their conversation. She 
looked at him, hurting doubly at what she perceived as a rejection. They 
shared an awkward look.

"Um...I have your information in my car."

Adam didn't speak as they walked back to her car, not trusting himself.

When he asked about the charge, she just waved it away. He chose not to 
press her. He just rolled the papers up and stuck them in his pocket.

The awkward silence that followed was charged with things unsaid. She felt 
embarrassed about the things she'd shared of herself. He felt guilty over 
the things he hadn't.

"I really do hope that you are okay." Impulsively, he took her hand in his. 
He looked at her with an intensity pregnant with a meaning she couldn't 
grasp. For a split second, Scully was terrified that he would kiss her.

"Things will get better Dana."

Then he was gone.

================================

The night before the operation, Mulder was awoken by an urgent whisper in 
his ear.

"*Come with me*" It was Adam. Mulder followed without question.

The halls were lit as they always were, giving no clue of the hour. He 
looked at the watch he'd been given days before and found it to be 3:04 a.m. 
Everything was quiet. He knew the routine by now. Things shut down around 1 
a.m. They were slinking down the hallway. For some reason, they were trying 
hard to avoid detection. Mulder wondered about that, but followed suit all 
the same.

A guard was making rounds, so they waited around a corner until the coast 
was clear. With stealth movements, they entered a door not far from the tech 
room. Once inside, Adam locked the door. He switched on the light, stuffing 
a blanket along the crack beneath the door to bar light from escaping.

"Sorry...we have some work to do."

Mulder looked around the room. It was a storage room filled with all kinds 
of gear. Adam made his way to the back and pulled out two packs, handing one 
to Mulder.

"Don't ever let anyone pack your 'chute." With those words, he began to show 
him how to take the parachute apart and pack it properly. He explained the 
mechanics of jumping and controlling the descent.

"We will be using a standard modern ram air 'square' parachute. It deploys 
dependably. Very manueverable. You shouldn't have any problems."

He began to explain the logistics of the event.

When they were done and Adam was satisfied that Mulder understood the 
processes properly, Mulder ventured a comment.

"I thought you could trust the people in here." Mulder didn't trust anyone, 
but his belief was that Adam did.

"I do...mostly." He seemed deep in thought. Something was troubling him.

"What?"

Adam took a deep breath and held it. "Lately....I've just had this nagging 
feeling that something isn't right. I can't put my finger on it. It's as if 
I am not seeing the forest for the trees. Like it's something glaringly 
obvious that I am just missing for some reason. At first I thought it just 
that impending doom feeling that comes with the job....but, I don't think 
that's it." He looked to Mulder to understand.

"What do you suppose it is then?"

"I don't know." Adam shook his head slowly, the puzzle apparent in his eyes.

"You think that someone in the compound is leaking information?" Mulder 
ventured, trying to figure out Adam's unease.

"I don't know, but I can't put my finger on it. I feel....as if...as if 
there is a glaring inconsistancy in my reasoning."

Mulder thought about this. "I don't see that. You seem to have your bases 
covered."

"Yeah......probably. Anyway," he pulled out two panic buttons from his 
pocket, "I reconfigured these myself. They won't work with the standard 
three clicks. Hit it once, count to three, then hit it three more times in 
rapid succession."

"I don't understand, why?"

Adam just shook his head, not quite able to explain it. "I just don't want 
anyone but you and I calling anyone to retrieve us. The capsule in your 
mouth could be all-important...." he didn't want to think about it, but it 
had to be said. "They know ways of torture that we don't even have words 
for. If we get caught, use it."

Adam looked troubled by more than their mission.

Mulder's gaze intensified. "You really think something's going on, don't 
you? You think that maybe someone might be looking for this place?"

Adam exhaled wearily. "I want you to take a look at something." He got up 
and walked over to a file cabinet. He pulled out the bottom drawer, then 
reached in behind it. He was holding a manila folder.

"When I went to the gunmen's place, I picked a name out of a hat 
essentially. It was someone who is only peripherally involved in the 
project, but maintains his position in the community. We have hundreds of 
them. They don't know enough to be dangerous to us, but enough to be willing 
to help.

"Drake is supposed to be a drone. He has no real connection to our work. 
Just a simple inside source...you following me?"

"Yeah, so what did you find?"

"Well, not much really. Generic stuff. The things that I would have already 
known. But I was a little curious about what the gunmen could do, so I read 
on. On all his recent information, his next of kin is listed as his wife. 
Nothing remarkable there. But if you look back to his medical file here.... 
his next of kin....you see?"

"Ok, Martin Klass...is that supposed to mean something?"

"Not in and of itself, no."

"What then?"

"Martin Klass is listed as his brother. The name had a familiar ring to it. 
So I ran Klass through our data base...I didn't get anything."

Mulder raised his eyebrows. "How is that significant then?"

Adam shook his head carefully.

"Our data base is extensive. We aren't playing around here. Every man, woman 
and child born, died, married, heck anyone who's gotten a building permit 
since the 50's is on it. It's supposed to list everyone. Why would he lie 
about something as trivial as a next of kin... and the name...it's just 
rattling something in me... I wish that there was more time before we leave 
to take a good look at it all."

Mulder was looking at the folder. There really was nothing remarkable about 
the man in it. A family man apparently, steady job. All the marks of 
normalcy. Everything seemed to be in place.

"What about now? Can't we access the d-base now?"

Adam nodded. "Let's finish this first."

They checked their guns and clips. Nothing says protection like a 
high-capacity compact Sig Saver 40 caliber weapon. When everything was in 
order, Adam took their parachutes and placed them behind the others so that 
he would know exactly where they were. When all was said and done, there was 
not a whole heck of a lot better at staying safe than the child-like actions 
he was taking. They made their way out of the storage room and into the tech 
room unnoticed. Adam led Mulder through the maze to his office.

They closed the door and booted up the computer on his desk. Within half an 
hour they had pulled everything they could up on Klass. On first pass, he 
didn't exist. Mulder suggested that they hack into a data base that was 
off-site. They chose the taxation department. Not only had he existed, but 
it appeared that he worked for a company called Pinck Pharmaceuticals, at 
least up until 4 years ago.

Adam looked over at Mulder, carefully watching the expression on his face 
with that latest revelation.

Then they pulled up everything the system had on Drake. Oddly enough, their 
files didn't include the connection to Klass. They looked at everything 
electronically available on Drake. He liked to eat out at Jack-in-the-box, 
borrow library books and played squash on Thursdays. Nothing to suggest 
anything out of the ordinary.

"So...someone inside had to have erased Klass from our files. But, there 
still really is nothing odd about Drake. What could this all mean? Do you 
think I'm just being paranoid?" Adam suggested. That wasn't a question to 
ask Mulder.

"No...it's not right. There are no coincidences here. Why would Klass be 
listed as a brother early on and then it says here that he has no brothers?" 
Mulder was rolling things over in his mind.

There was nothing remarkable about Drake's credit card purchases, his bank 
accounts, or his phone calls. Mulder stared at the phone bill. His brain 
worked at some mind sliver, he couldn't take his eyes away. Something didn't 
add up.

Adam could see the dawn of some realization on his face.

"The phone record. That's it."

"What? There's nothing on here but a couple of local calls. Business 
calls...Blockbuster Video...nothing out of the ordinary. Just a few calls."

"Yeah, maybe too few. The guy has a wife and two teens."

"Yeah...and?" he asked expectantly.

"Yeah...and wouldn't you expect that there would be more calls coming in and 
going out of a house with two teens living in it?"

Adam looked at the screen again.

"Run Sheila Drake, and the kids." Adam complied. There was no record of her 
existance. Nor was there a marriage certificate. His bio said that she 
worked at Civic Trust...on cross reference, they didn't have any record of 
her. Past or present. The kids didn't exist either.

"He's a made man. What does this mean for us though? He works ostensibly for 
Beaufort Pharmaceuticals which is subcontracted by the government out of 
Fort Stanton  ...according to us, he's had no contact with our organization 
in almost a year. I mean, if he was a mole, wouldn't the contact be 
established? Look, he's still at the job, doing the work."

"I don't know...but it's not something that I like. How was he contacted by 
your organization?"

Adam began typing again.

"Whoever first contacted him went to great trouble to erase that fact. 
That's strange in and of itself. It doesn't make any sense. Whoever brought 
him in would have to be someone within this compound." He looked up at 
Mulder.

"Do you remember where you heard the name?"

"Yeah, sure, he gave us some information on the acquisition of Rousch 
Development--a genetic research firm--by Pinck Pharmaceuticals. It was 
pretty much a one shot deal about a year ago. The information went nowhere. 
It wasn't something we couldn't have found out with a look at the stock 
exchange. That's part of why I used his name with the gunmen."

"I think you may have stumbled onto something bigger here. We should look 
into this further. Pull up their pictures."

Adam typed again. The pictures were identical.

"Martin Klass is Karl Drake."

"We gotta pursue this."

"I agree, but we need to get some more rest. We gotta be frosty tomorrow."

"We can't leave this."

"No, but there is little more we can do tonight. McDougall is coming in in 
the morning. I'll hand it directly to him and see what he can come up with."

Mulder sighed. He wanted to continue but he knew that they could only fight 
one battle at a time.

"Yeah, ok," he resigned.

They shut things down in the office. In the dark, they listened for activity 
outside the door.

====================================

Scully went back into work. She felt somewhat better focused than she had 
the day she met with Adam.

She knew that she would have to face people at the bureau again in all their 
false sympathetic bravado, better to get it over with. Besides, she 
desperately wanted to work the case. Skinner had called her to his office 
that morning.

"Have a seat Agent Scully." This time, she sat down.

"Sir, how is the investigation is going?"

Skinner sat on the edge of his desk. At her question, he looked away.

"They aren't going to find them, are they?"

He would have liked to say that there was hope they would catch Mulder's 
killers. But he recognized a professional hit. This was no exception. He 
doubted that anything would come of it.

"Unless there is some kind of break in the case, then there is not a whole 
lot we can do. I would like you to go over your files, try and find out what 
Mulder could have been working on...maybe on his own."

Scully shook her head. "I've looked. I don't think that there was anything. 
We were just doing some general cleanup." She glanced down at her hands, 
remembering the last work day they had together. What a waste.

"Agent Mulder was not at a loss for enemies." He paused, wondering if he 
should go on. He knew that opening this can of worms would only put her into 
danger if she couldn't control her emotions in this case. She looked in 
control though. When was she not? Her eyes were fixed on his.

"Something came to my attention today. The whereabouts of a certain CGB 
Spender."

Scully stood up. "I want to talk to him."

Skinner motioned her to sit back down. "I knew you would, that's why I 
called you here. I've arranged a meeting. But you aren't going alone. I'll 
go with you, I want to hear what he's got to say too. I am sure that he 
knows something about this if anyone does."

================================

They pulled up to an indoor/outdoor cafe. It was the type one would expect 
on a quiet back street in Florence, but it seemed out of place somehow in 
the busy downtown street of the nation's capitol. They made their way 
through the indoor tables to where he was sitting.

The look of surprise in Cancerman's face was well worth the trip, thought 
Skinner briefly.

"Fancy meeting you here. Agent Scully, I am sorry to hear about your loss." 
Scully wanted to slap the expression off of his face. Instead, she held 
herself in check and decided to follow the assistant director's lead.

"I'm sorry, I am meeting someone, otherwise I would invite you to sit down."

"You're meeting us," Skinner forced out between tight lips. They both sat 
down, invading his space. Skinner loathed the attitude Spender had. The cool 
exterior he possessed seemed to lord over everyone around him. Skinner hated 
secrets, and this man's whole existence was a secret.

"What do you know about the bomb that killed Mulder?" Skinner directed.

"You have me at a loss. I honestly don't know a thing about it," came the 
smooth reply.

Scully couldn't sit idle. "Cut the crap! You had Mulder killed and I want to 
know why!" She raised her voice slightly, causing other patrons to look 
over.

"Tread carefully, Agent Scully. I have tolerated you and your partner for a 
long time, don't test my patience." The very idea that he was chastising her 
was asking too much of her self-control.

Her voice was lower. "Under this table I have a gun pointed right at you. 
Don't underestimate the power of the hatred I have for you right now. I know 
that you had him killed, I just need to know why!"

If Skinner was surprised, he carefully hid that from his adversary, choosing 
instead to allow her the privelege.

"Agent Scully, I know you better than you know yourself. You wouldn't shoot 
an unarmed man in a crowded restaurant."

"I wouldn't stop her if she did. I am sure that we could come up with a 
plausible reason she had to pull the trigger." To punctuate Skinner's 
remarks, Scully pulled back the slide on the top of her Sig 228, cocking the 
weapon, just barely audible beneath the table.

Spender blanched almost imperceptibly. Skinner's face hinted a smile.

"This is the exact reason that I would never have had him killed, the very 
reason he's stayed alive for this long. The crusade for his cause has begun 
I see." He looked pointedly at Scully, then down at the table in front of 
her that hid her weapon. "I will give you one thing though, whoever did this 
went through a great deal of trouble."

"You're not telling us anything we don't know already." Scully challenged. 
She could see that he was trying to calculate something about her. 
Apparently he realized that she would, indeed, pull the trigger. The 
realization was right.

"Then you're not listening. I said that they went to a *great* deal of 
trouble. Trouble to hide even from us."

"What are you talking about?!" Skinner snapped.

Cancerman felt in control again. He slowly lit up a cigarette and took a 
long drag on it. "They took out our man minutes before they took out 
Mulder."

"You were having Mulder followed?" Skinner voiced.

"Does that really surprise you? You constantly chastise him for his 
paranoia. Maybe he's the only one who truly understands the game." He was 
eyeing them both condescendingly once again. They had what they wanted from 
him and yet still nothing.

Neither Skinner nor Scully talked on their way back to the car. They both 
got in and sat in silence for a moment.

"Tell me you heard what I did," Scully breathed out.

Skinner nodded slightly.

"Mulder's alive."

Skinner's head turned towards Scully with a jerk. He almost started his 
"there's-no-way-he's-alive" speech, but he realized that he was beginning to 
believe that there was a remote chance that he actually was. You don't spend 
years as Mulder's boss without expecting the unexpected. He started the car 
and drove back towards the office.

"I think that we have to confirm that he's alive."

"I know just how to do that. I am going to do another DNA test myself. 
Someone in the lab had to have switched the samples." She thought about this 
a minute. "Oh my god!"

"What?" He looked over at her.

"I took...." she was thinking quickly now. "I took a hair sample and some 
tissue from the victim over to the lone gunmen for comparison. They ran it 
with their contacts and it turned up to be a match."

"But...wouldn't that mean that he was the victim then?" Skinner started.

"No, no, no..." she was making sense of it all now, "there was a guy who 
came in. He said that he was a friend of Mulder's, that Mulder had sent him. 
It all seemed to fit then." She was onto something now and talking in rapid 
staccato. "They....they suspected as much, but I thought it was their 
paranoia.  Oh my god! He switched the sample! He knows where Mulder is. I am 
sure of it. He even had a letter from Mulder...proof of who he was. He's 
alive." Her mind was analyzing everything she knew about Adam Roberts. "I am 
sure of it," she repeated.

There was hope again. She grabbed onto it with both hands. He's alive. He's 
alive. He's alive. Every cell in her body seemed to surge forward with that 
truth. Suddenly, she remembered something. As Skinner glanced at her, she 
grabbed a slip of paper from her pocket and reached for her cell phone.

===============================

The tech room was a hive of activity. Everyone was working the last minute 
preparations of the operation.

When McDougall arrived, Adam and Mulder met with him in the office. They 
went over their findings. McDougall didn't seem to be overly impressed with 
the thin thread they'd latched onto, but agreed to look into it right away 
as a precaution.

"But Adam..." McDougall's look was dripping meaning. "Do what you need to to 
stay safe. *Whatever* you need to do. If there is someone within our 
organization supplying the Syndicate or the Aliens with information, it 
would be trouble. Sometimes extreme measures are necessary." Adam nodded his 
understanding. There was a knock on the door. Case poked his head in.

"Sir, the detail phone is ringing...again." Adam caught Mulder's eye.

Scully.

"Turn it off Case." Then as an afterthought, "destroy it."

Case moved to do his bidding.

The day was spent going over maps of the drop area and the game plan. They 
would be miles from the nearest road. That worked for and against them. 
There would be no easy drop off or pick up. But they would only be half a 
mile from the ship on their landing. Mulder seemed sure that they would be 
able to find an entrance.

They would be wearing mikes, receivers and cameras the whole time. If they 
never made it out, whatever they saw would be recorded and hopefully useful.

Mulder had never seen the tech equipment that they were using before. It 
seemed extraterrestrial itself. Adam confirmed that fact by telling him that 
it could penetrate the radio screen surrounding their ship. It had been 
supplied by the Shape Shifters.

McDougall wished them success and left. By late afternoon, Adam called a 
general meeting. This time, it wasn't in his office. He addressed the entire 
tech room.

"As of right now, I want an entire communications blackout over the 
compound. Stick...take care of that."

Stick moved over to a general console and began entering the system. Adam 
had everyone's rapt attention. Mulder could see that they were wondering 
about the blackout, but that it was something they had gone through before. 
They all waited till Stick gave him the go-ahead.

"In one hour, we will be dropping into the general area of the alien ship in 
Virginia." A murmur of protest rose up.

"Sir, all of our plans were for a drop in Alberta....we can't just change 
things that quickly."

"Well...it's done. You have two hours to accomplish what you need to do to 
accomodate the change in location. I want *no one* communicating with the 
outside until you get further messages from me. *No one*."

Everyone moved with a purpose now. They seemed remarkably together for a 
group who had just been told the plans they'd worked on for the last few 
days were for naught.

"Sir, I am assuming that you want the board completely frozen?" Stick asked.

Adam nodded. "Stick, I don't want anyone transmitting anything to any 
outside source. And no one leaves, but I'll give that order myself."

Mulder followed him towards the main entrance where Adam instructed the 
guards of his order. On their way back, they stopped into the storage room, 
retrieved their packs and suited up for the mission.

"You're not making any friends here boss, kinda remindin' me of myself," 
Mulder remarked as they re-entered the tech room in full gear. He used the 
word "boss" in a way that didn't sound at all like he meant it but rather as 
a play on words.

The men who had been assembling their things realized that their work wasn't 
needed anymore. Mulder noted that they looked mildly peturbed.

*Tough luck guys...haven't you heard? Trust no one*

Mulder felt confident that at least the equipment was in good order. Stu 
helped them check out their communication systems. The perturbed crew made 
themselves useful adjusting straps on kevlar and double-checking the pack 
supplies. Adam and Mulder stood still for the process. When it was complete, 
Mulder realized that dust off was in ten minutes. He was glad, he was 
getting hot and ancy in his gear.

Book handed Adam a map. He started to tuck it into a pocket on his fatigues. 
"Don't take any chances there boss, huh?" Mulder thought that he sounded 
sincere. "You are picking a hell of a time to stop trusting us. It's gotta 
be the company you're keeping." He glared at Mulder.

Stu spoke carefully to Adam. "Boss, people are a little out of sorts, you 
gonna say something?" Adam nodded.

It was obvious the way that everyone had gathered around that they expected 
it.

"I just want to say....I know that you have worked hard for this. It's game 
time now. Our operation is in it's green light phase and we need to be 
careful. The danger has increased for all of us. We all knew the risks when 
we came onto the project, but now we have to step precisely. With the 
location change, this should be over by morning. I've taken the precautions 
that I have for a reason. I suggest you all be extra careful from now on."

Their trust in him was clear. Mulder didn't like the "goodbye" ring his 
speech was having. But clearly, the people in the room were on his side and 
trusted him completely. Amid well wishing voices, they started their walk 
down the long corridor to the landing pad. The helicopter took them to an 
air base where they moved on board a Cessna. The entire process took less 
than 15 minutes.

=======================

Scully and Skinner waited until almost everyone left the building. They made 
their way down to the lab. Everything was dark. Scully pulled out the hair 
sample she'd taken from Mulder's apartment.

"This is going to take some time," she told Skinner.

He nodded. He wasn't going anywhere. He wanted to know as much as Scully 
just what the heck was going on. He wasn't really angry with Mulder. He knew 
him well enough to know that whatever he was into was important. Mulder 
would never leave Scully. Not for anything trivial. Certainly not allowing 
her to believe that he was dead. No, he was fairly certain that Mulder was 
either somewhere against his will, or into a very deadly game. Either way he 
needed to figure out for certain that the body wasn't his.

He watched Scully working. He never ceased to be amazed and somewhat envious 
of her dedication to Mulder. He wasn't sure that either of them understood 
her importance to him. She was the only reason that Mulder had not been 
dismissed as a nut years ago. She lent credence to his work. She was his 
only human credential, the only reason that he was still in the bureau and 
certainly the only reason that he had stayed alive as long as he had.

He'd helped when he could, which wasn't often. He believed in their cause, 
but found himself tied to bureaucracy too often. Deep down though, they were 
his star pupils. He trusted them like he trusted no one else. He marvelled 
at their collective genius. He wondered briefly if they knew that when he 
argued with them, he only did it to challenge them into connecting their 
work in a way that the hierarchy could recognize.

Finally, the results of the tests were readable.

Scully stared at him.

"It's not him," she said simply. She'd known that before she'd begun the 
test, yet she was still surprised. She showed him the comparison graphs. 
They looked at one another. Then Scully silently took the results over to a 
Bunsen burner, ignited them and let the pages fall into a sink burning.

It was a bitter pill to swallow. She wasn't sure how to feel exactly. He was 
alive, for that she was eternally grateful.

But there she was, ditched again.

As Scully and Skinner walked down the corridor and out of the building, 
Mulder was running for his life.

===========================

They said nothing as they sat face to face in the aircraft. The butterflies 
in Mulder's stomach were having a combined Mardi Gras and Woodstock.

The sun was setting when they finally made the jump. The Cessna pulled down 
to 3000 feet. Adam had attached Mulder to a static line for safety.  Mulder 
was going first. He worked his way out of the plane, his feet on a 
retrofitted step, his hands on the wing strut. He moved the way Adam had 
told him to. Wind whipped him at 80 km/hour. When he reached his marker, he 
arched his back and let go. The static line pulled tight, dragging out the 
deployment bag. It scared Mulder, but exhilerated him all at the same time. 
He could barely make out Adam in the growing darkness. Like magic, the 
fabric opened above his head, a giant umbrella blackening part of the sky. 
Mulder felt himself being pulled upward with a reassuring tug.

*Good parachute*

The ground looked incredibly far. It was an illusion, he knew. He looked 
around. Adam's parachute was slightly below and to his right. He couldn't 
make his body out against the dark ground. He felt at his neck and pulled up 
his night vision goggles. They lightened up the entire area. He could hear 
Adam in his ear.

"Pull right. We're going for the clearing over there." Mulder pulled the 
cord that steered him closer to Adam. He experimented a little and found 
that he could control his descent pretty accurately. The ground was coming 
up fast. He could see why Adam had told him to steer clear of trees from the 
get-go. Distance contorted itself. It seemed to him that if he just unhooked 
now, he could hop to the ground. Yet he knew as he cleared the tree tops 
that he was still a good seventy feet in the air. The landing went smoothly. 
They unfastened their jump gear.

Adam was consulting a compass. Mulder checked his position locater. They 
were exactly where they were supposed to be.

"So far so good."

"Case, you copy?"

"Loud and clear boss."

"We're down and heading towards our target. It should only be about a 
quarter of a mile."

They made their way in silence through the trees guided by the compass.

Mulder and Adam moved at a slow jog. They were both pumped with adrenalyn. 
They kept their night goggles on and their flashlights off. They didn't know 
who or what might be watching. When they arrived in the general area of the 
ship, there seemed to be nothing but forest. Mulder had known that the ship 
would be underground, but he wasn't prepared for the overgrowth of trees in 
the area. He wondered fleetingly if they were in the right spot.

Then they came across a litter of carcasses scattered across a twenty square 
foot area.

"Someone's been letting the little beasties out."

Mulder kicked at a fresh carcass, turning it over to reveal the head of a 
dead fox.

"That can't be a good sign," noted Mulder.

Adam exhaled sharply. "The entrance has to be around here somewhere."

Mulder was getting cold sweats. His memory was dancing along a certain 
narrow escape in the Antarctic. He thought about the ferocity of the aliens 
as they awoke in their human wombs. He was suddenly very sure that they 
didn't have enough ammunition. He took a deep breath and rubbed at his chin.

"You know, I am getting a bad feeling about this." Adam looked up from where 
he'd been examining the fox. He nodded.

They followed some tracks to a hole in the earth. Mulder pulled out his gun, 
moved his spare clips into his front pocket and started down the hole. It 
was much shorter than the one he had fallen down in the Antarctic. About ten 
feet down, he found himself on a platform. He presumed it was the outside of 
the ship. Adam followed closely on his heels.

There was a narrow corridor of dirt that led to a round steel hole in the 
ground. Mulder went down the hole gun first. He stopped midway. He could 
hear some noise coming from the interior of the ship. He moved tentatively 
the rest of the way down. The sound faded. He landed on his feet in a long 
corridor. Everything was quiet. The ship seemed deserted. Mulder was 
relieved that there were no incubating aliens lining the walls. He pulled 
his goggles down to hang loosely around his neck. There was dim light in the 
ship. Adam dropped out of the vent shaft.

"Which way?" Mulder looked in both directions.

"I dunno. Let's try this one." Their headsets had been quiet, nothing 
unusual, but Adam wanted to make sure this all wasn't for nothing.

"You getting this Case?"

"Yup, everything's coming in great here."

"Ok. I want you to sound off about every three minutes just to let me know 
that you're still with us."

"Copy"

They both carried their guns almost unconsciously in their hands. They were 
moving a little quicker now. The smell hit them at once. They rounded a 
corner and a putrid odour assaulted their nostils.

"Forget the goggles, we should have brought masks," Mulder quipped. It was 
the smell of death and decay. A rotten, rich, coppery smell. They pressed 
on.

As they neared what they guessed was the deep interior of the ship, the 
corridors widened. It seemed to be a maze of hallways with nothing 
descriptive to help them find their way out.

"I hope you're tracking us Case."

"Book's on it boss."

With Case, there was never any question of who was in charge, Mulder 
thought. He always addressed Adam as "Boss". Come to think of it, Stu, Ice 
and Stick all seemed to have a marked respect for his new friend.

Mulder put up a hand to stop Adam.

"There's movement," he whispered. Sure enough, far down the corridor they 
could make out something moving from a door on one side of the hall into a 
doorway on the other side. An alien creature was dragging something. They 
both held their weapons a little higher and continued down the corridor 
towards it.

When they reached the doorway, Mulder looked into one door while Adam looked 
into the other. On Mulder's side, it looked like a repository for alien 
carcasses. He found himself looking at a dump heap of alien bodies. The 
smell was overwhelming. The alien they had seen was in the process of 
working at some strange light board. In spite of himself, Mulder was in awe. 
Just watching the creature moving was holding his interest. It's graceful 
movements belied any evil intentions. He wished fleetingly that Scully was 
here to see it all.

He jumped slightly when he felt Adam tap his arm. Adam motioned him across 
the hall. They moved towards a strange staircase. It was little more than a 
few outcroppings on a slanted wall. But clearly it led somewhere.

They moved up and out onto another level. This one was busier. They could 
hear noises coming from every direction. Mulder took a deep breath. They 
moved steadily into the activity. The area they were in now could best be 
classified as an alien hospital. Inside a room to one side, there were rows 
and rows of aliens on small tables. They all seemed to be alive and in 
various degrees of consciousness. Experimenting on their own kind? He 
couldn't figure it out. Several aliens moved around the tables, touching the 
figures lying there. It was all taking on a surreal atmosphere for Mulder.

They moved on, glancing at the hall behind them to make sure nothing creeped 
up on them. Nothing could have prepared Mulder for the next room. He had to 
blink twice to understand what he was seeing. Inside the room, on a group of 
tables just like the last room, were human beings. There seemed to be 
nothing in common between them other than the fact that they were there 
together. They were all different ages. Lights shone down on them, creating 
strange and intricate patterns on their bodies. There were fourteen in all. 
Four aliens went about from table to table, in the business of some macabre 
experiment on their prey.

The one on the end farthest from the doorway was a small child. She looked 
to be about five. She was strapped onto the table, arms stretched out to the 
side. Her long blonde hair haloed her face. She was entirely naked except 
for her panties and a pair of fuzzy bunny slippers. He wondered if her 
parents even knew she was missing yet. She turned her head and seemed to be 
looking straight at him. As he watched, the little girl started to cry. The 
aliens didn't seem to even realize it. She was crying for her mother.

"Jesus" he heard Case whisper in his ear. Mulder jumped a little, having 
forgotten that the images were being transmitted back to the compound.

Mulder took a step towards her. Adam's arm came up, blocking his way. Mulder 
looked at him with a mixture of anger and confusion. Adam returned the look, 
beseeching Mulder to stay on task. His look was sympathetic, but he knew 
that they would not get what they needed by saving her, even if they could. 
Mulder shook his head. He knew Adam was right. All the same, he looked back 
at the girl. For an instant she metamorphized into Samantha, calling his 
name.

Adam nearly dragged Mulder further along the corridor.

*Jesus, I am gonna see this race off the planet*

They rounded a corner to see what appeared to be a hangar. It was deep and 
wide. They were standing on a platform that was like a balcony without 
safety railing. They could see at least five smaller ships and what could be 
an opening in the ceiling. At least they could see the seam where huge doors 
met. Catwalks and beams connected everything. They watched for a while as 
aliens walked to and fro in their calm way, doing whatever work was being 
done on the smaller ships.

They turned and continued their search.

They hit paydirt about twenty minutes later. They entered a large room that 
seemed to be something of a factory. The silent machines looked like they 
had been processing a liquid and moving it into storage containers. They 
took a look around.

Mulder took a small glass container off of one of the tables. It was filled 
with an amber liquid. He put it into his pouch.

They continued to poke around in the room for the better part of an hour. 
The machines were filling huge vats with the liquid. But for shipment where? 
Was the virus somehow contained in the liquid? What they knew of the virus 
was that it didn't mix well with water, and this definately looked like a 
water base. It mixed well with oil, in fact that was the best conductor of 
it. So then....what was in the liquid? It didn't look like an oil base. Adam 
couldn't wait for the analysis.

Case continued periodically checking in. From time to time he would make a 
request for them to pan various areas with their cameras. In the middle of 
the room was a container that was reminiscent of a large propane cylinder. 
It was fed by pipes from the ceiling. "Adam, pan up," came the voice in his 
ear. He did as instructed. Along the ceiling was a pipe that led into the 
vat, along the ceiling and out into the hallway.

"Saint...let's go." Mulder had been checking the containers for any markings 
that might indicate their destination. Anything. He looked up at Adam and 
nodded.

They followed the pipe and found that it led back along the ceiling the way 
they'd come. As they passed the hospital area again, Mulder looked into the 
room, fully ready to argue with Adam on the fate of the child. A few of the 
tables that had held people were now empty. The little blonde girl was 
nowhere to be seen. Mulder felt sick to his stomach.

The pipe went on for the entirety of their walk back to the stairway/ladder 
where it traced their return path perfectly. They could hear noises from 
down below. They looked at one another and silently made the decision to 
wait till things got quieter. After a while, the air was heavy and silent 
again. They moved down the stairway/ladder and back along the way they had 
come in. The pipe continued to lead them.

When they reached the junction that led to the alien morgue, their pipe 
trail disappeared within. They looked inside, but couldn't make out which 
one it was in a tangle of pipes. The live alien was no longer there. The 
bodies lay in a heap in various levels of decay. Out of various body 
cavities, they could see the black oil seeping. It ran down and pooled in 
the bottom of the large pan the bodies sat in. They could see the sharp 
teeth and long claws on the mutants. Adam shuddered inwardly.

"I don't understand," started Adam in a whisper, "there are a lot of bodies, 
yet we haven't seen any of the mutants alive."

He hardly had the words out of his mouth when the noise started.

It was a low rumbling, a growl really. The hairs stood up straight on the 
back of Mulder's neck. The sound was coming from an area past the ladder 
they'd just come down.

"Let's go." No argument from Adam. They both hurried down the corridor. The 
ship seemed to be coming alive. They seemed to be surrounded by life. In 
this instant, that wasn't a good thing.

"Case...which way?" Adam breathed desperation into the mike as they found 
themselves at a four way junction.

"Left." They flew left into the hallway. As they came upon another 
crossroad, Adam was slightly annoyed to have to ask again.

"Case..?!"

"Case? You copy?" The transmitter was dead. Adam looked at Mulder. He was 
just as puzzled. Mulder tried to reach Case himself.

"Anyone awake out there?" The receiver was giving them nothing. The hallways 
all looked the same. Only one of them could be the way out. Adam stared at 
him. They heard a noise that sounded vaguely like two alley cats fighting 
down the corridor to the left.

"I know I am not going that way," Mulder offered. "I say we go right."

Adam nodded and they took off, hurrying again in a near run. With nothing 
left to go on, they let their intuitions guide them. In perfect 
synchronicity, they turned corners and navigated themselves to where the 
corridor narrowed. From there it was just a straight sprint to the vent. As 
Mulder pulled himself up behind Adam, the noise level increased. He'd been 
here before, he could hear the alien moving up the vent behind him. As he 
reached the surface, he spun around prepared to fire on whatever came out.

The air was silent. The vent was dark and empty. Mulder replaced his goggles 
over his eyes. They took one look around at the dead animal carcasses again. 
No use wondering why bears or cougars weren't scavenging around in the 
obvious smell.

Adam had no time to react when he caught a glimpse of something in the woods 
coming at him. A shot rang out and an alien mutant lay dead at his feet. He 
took two quick steps backwards. Sheer terror engulphed him as he looked down 
and saw the creature's body twitching. He looked over at Mulder who stood 
with his gun still trained on the animal. They shared a look of agreement 
and took off running in the direction of their landing.

They slowed down when they'd run about half a mile. Mulder realized that he 
was still holding his gun. He holstered it and turned to check on Adam. "You 
ok?" Adam nodded. The mutant had swiped at Adam's chest. The heavy canvass 
of the fatigue hung in strips. He looked inside and saw the kevlar vest, 
designed to stop bullets, neatly parted as well. There was no blood.

"I don't understand what happened to Case." He was still catching his 
breath. His voice held a note of worry.

"Equipment failure?"

"Not likely and not to both our systems. No...something's wrong."

Mulder nodded. "We can't call for evac then."

Adam considered this and agreed.

"I know that I don't want to stay in this forest with those things running 
around. Jesus, did you see the teeth on it?!"

Mulder had, in fact he knew that he would be seeing those teeth in his 
nightmares. Adam took off his pack and rummaged through it. Opening the map 
up, he felt a sinking feeling. They were a good ten miles from the nearest 
road, and that looked like nothing but an old logging trail. They took a 
moment to be sure of their location.

"Well, it's not getting any closer." They started through the forest at a 
slow jog. Neither of them wanted to think about what might be going on in 
the compound.

By mid-morning they had found the road. They followed it another mile or so 
before they came across a farmhouse. No one seemed to be home, although the 
yard was well-kept. They tried knocking, then decided to break in. It was 
important the they get to a hard line. Adam picked up the phone. Mulder's 
hand stopped him.

"Do you think it's safe to call the compound from here?" Mulder asked.

"I'm not calling the compound. If anything happened, there's a safe house 
only select people knew about. They would've gone there." Adam was hoping 
that there wouldn't be an answer. He tilted the phone so that Mulder could 
listen.

The phone was picked up on the first ring. "Jeez boss, we thought we'd lost 
you."

"Tell me what's going on..."

Case's voice was filling with desperation. "Shit Boss, they're all dead. 
Christ, it's just me and eleven others that made it out. Stu's gone. Ice 
didn't make it."

"Stick?"

"He's here, but he's been shot. He ain't doin' too well."

"Tell me what happened."

The words poured out of Case's mouth like an avalanche.

"One minute we were following you, the next thing I knew, our communication 
was cut and there were military guys pouring in from every entrance. The TV 
is saying that we were some doom's day cult or some dumb ass story like 
that. Don't know how much longer I wanna stay here." Case was becoming 
unglued.

"Case, ease down. No one knows about that place but you and I." Adam spoke 
with authority that both consoled and commanded Case. "How bad's Stick 
hurt?"

"Dunno, he's hurt bad, lost a lot of blood."

"Have you contacted anyone?"

"No, we were just thinking about McDougall...I...I don't know."

Mulder piped in "don't contact *anyone* Case. No one. We'll come to you. 
Just hang in there."

With that, they hung up the phone. Adam started pacing.

"There weren't many people who knew the location of the compound who weren't 
restricted to it. McDougall would've stopped an assault if he was able. It's 
our leak. I'm sure of it. I don't *have* anyone to call that I trust 
anymore."

"I do." Mulder looked at him steadfastly. "The time to keep this a secret is 
over. It's obvious that the Syndicate is behind this. You have to protect 
what's left of the Council." Adam's face was drawn and pale. He nodded.

Mulder went to the phone and dialed a number.

"Skinner"

"It's Mulder. I need your help." Skinner let out a long breath.

"Where the hell are you?" Mulder had no time to consider Skinner's lack of 
surprise at the sound of his voice.

"You have to listen for a minute. We don't have a lot of time."

"I'm listening."

"You have to trust me here, sir. The strike against the Carroll County 
compound last night..."

"You mean that religious group?"

"I was a part of that group sir, the only religion it had was truth."

"There were no survivors."

"That's what they'd like you to think. Look, I need you to come and get me. 
I can explain this all better in person. But you have to keep it quiet. 
Anyone knows we're still alive and we won't be for long."

"Tell me where you are."

Mulder picked up an envelope off the counter and read him the rural address. 
When he hung up the phone, Adam was pacing like a caged animal. "You sure 
that we can trust him?"

Mulder shook his head. "I know that he'll try. What choice do we have?"

=======================================

They knew that they would be waiting a while for the pick up. Mulder turned 
on the TV and grabbed something to eat out of the fridge. He looked around 
at the photos of family that lined the walls in the livingroom. If they only 
knew what the ground hid a short few miles away.

"You should eat something," Mulder pushed a sandwich at him. Adam shook his 
head. He was staring at the carnage on the television. The reporter spoke 
about an artillery arsenal, terrorist connections and a plot against the 
American people. The breaking story was the shooting of Senator McDougall 
and presidential aide Chris Porter. Porter was dead.

Mulder watched Adam. His face betrayed none of the emotions he must be 
feeling, he thought. The people who had died were the only family he'd 
known. Mulder was feeling a kinship with Adam, living in a surreal world 
where they were foreigners almost as much as the aliens. There was no 
illusion of normalcy for either of them. Mulder understood exactly what this 
had cost him.

"I'm sorry." It seemed inadequate somehow, yet it was all he could offer.

Adam stared at him as though he had spoken another language. He was looking 
to Mulder to make sense out of it.

"It's not over Adam."

Adam seemed somehow dead inside. He didn't talk or offer any opinions about 
their next course of action. He's in shock, thought Mulder. Mulder took him 
outside and into the bush a bit to wait where they could see the farmhouse. 
Mulder hoped that Skinner would be able to get to them without anyone 
finding out.

=================================

Skinner didn't tell her where they were going. He'd come down to the 
basement and asked her to follow him. They took his car out of the parkade 
and into traffic before he spoke again.

"Mulder contacted me. He needs our help." Scully looked over at him.

"What's the matter, what's happened?"

"I don't know, there wasn't much he could tell me over the phone. We're 
going to charter a helicopter and pick him up." She continued to stare at 
him, lost in her own thoughts.

He hadn't called her. It all seemed so strange to her. She tried to sort out 
what she was feeling. Abandoned was the least of it, that much she knew. 
Somehow, she was hurt so deep down, she was unable to process her feelings 
easily. She had guarded her heart from him, from the world for so long. She 
consciously decided that she needed time to sort out just what she felt. 
Right now, she just needed to act.

As they boarded the helicopter, she carefully built a wall, brick by brick 
around her heart.

==============================

They watched as the helicopter descended. The door opened and Mulder saw a 
familiar head of red hair fighting the wind. They moved out of the trees. 
She was looking around, looking for him. When she saw him, their eyes 
locked. He couldn't read the expression there. Perhaps that was scariest of 
all.

They walked towards one another. Mulder was still in his fatigues, pack on 
his back, jacket undone to reveal his white t-shirt covered by a navy kevlar 
vest. His goggles and headset were hanging loosely around his neck. Scully 
just stared at him. Her eyes were somehow unreadable, vacant. Somehow this 
wasn't the running-through-the-field-towards-one-another-with-open-arms 
greeting he'd imagined. They were within two feet of one another. For a 
moment, he half expected her to land a strong punch onto his unshaven jaw. 
But she just stared at him. Then she looked over at Adam who at least had 
the decency to look down.

"Agents, let's go!" Skinner was shouting over the noise of the helicopter.

They got into the helicopter and it took off. When they were cleared and 
heading back to Washington, Skinner handed Mulder a pair of binoculars and 
pointed out the window. Deep in the distance, barely perceptible even 
through the binoculars, swarmed at least four helicopters. Mulder handed the 
lenses to Adam.

"They're looking for us." Mulder nodded.

Mulder looked over at Scully. She was sitting next to Skinner, across from 
him. She sat with her shoulders slightly raised and her hands tucked between 
her knees. She looked so young. Her eyes caught his. His expression pleaded 
for understanding. She couldn't look at him without risking losing her 
composure. They both knew this, so Mulder didn't push when she looked away 
again. For the trip back, she just stared out the window.

=============================

In the car, Adam seemed to come back to life.

"We need to go to 1510 South Decator Street," he said with some urgency.

"Want to tell me what's going on now?" asked Skinner.

Mulder began to recount the tale from his first meeting with Adam. Scully 
sat in the front seat. He wanted to see her eyes, but she didn't turn 
around. He was sorry that he couldn't read Skinner's face as he spoke, but 
decided that it wasn't important as long as he was following Adam's 
directions. Stopped at a red light, Skinner turned to stare at them. He 
looked directly at Adam.

"Senator McDougall?"

Adam nodded.

Skinner seemed to be working something over in his mind.

"What?" asked Mulder.

"Last year when you were reassigned onto the X-files, the final decision 
came down from someone I can see having direct connections to him. Who are 
your other contacts?" he asked as he moved the car forward again.

"No one that I can trust now. If they aren't dead or dying, they could very 
well be connected to the military that did this."

They were closing in on the address when Adam shouted. "Stop right here!" He 
jumped out and was running before the car came to a complete stop. Both 
Scully and Mulder followed. A man walking along the sidewalk turned and saw 
them, then dropped the suitcase he was carrying and began to run. Mulder 
somehow knew that catching him would be all-important.

They chased him around the corner of an alleyway in the midst of what 
appeared to be hobo central. He seemed to have disappeared. Adam walked down 
slowly, looking at various homeless people. None of them were the man they'd 
been chasing. Adam suddenly lunged at an elderly woman who seemed to be 
asleep amid debris. Mulder was puzzled for an instant until the old woman's 
face changed before his eyes. A Shape Shifter.

"We need your help!" Adam spat out between clenched teeth.

Mulder thought that he himself was quite prepared to kill the alien. Of 
course, a Shape Shifter could not be killed without the stilleto switch, 
which Mulder just happened to be carrying. He pulled it out and was sorely 
tempted to use it. An alien was an alien after all.

Adam had a good grip on the alien. His eyes told Mulder to put the switch 
away. Mulder didn't pay any attention to him. The car pulled up into the 
alley then. Adam pushed the alien into the backseat. Mulder got in on the 
other side.

"This would be one of the Shape Shifters I told you about." Scully was in 
and turned to look at him. She hadn't gotten a good look in the alley.

"Stop...look I haven't done anything. I...I just heard about the compound 
just now. I'm a hunted man!" he pleaded.

"*Don't* ever call yourself a man," stressed Mulder, pushing the weapon 
against the alien's neck. He was quite prepared to search for the exact 
location there that would kill him. The alien changed his appearance over 
and over again in a rapid series of confused panic. Scully gasped. Mulder 
didn't flinch.

"We need him," Adam implored.

Mulder relaxed his grip.

"Look...all I know is that if I was a hunted m...alien before, I am dead on 
sight now," the alien pleaded.

"Saint, this is John Winwood. He has been our main contact with the Shape 
Shifters, haven't you John?" The alien nodded.

"Mr. Skinner, sir, could you please take us to 88 Lexor Avenue?" Skinner 
started out again.

"Can you tell me where we are going this time?" Skinner asked, only it 
wasn't a question really.

Adam shifted uncomfortably. "It's the safehouse. I only hope that it's still 
safe."

=================================

Eighty eight Lexor Avenue looked deserted. It seemed to be an old deserted 
and boarded up warehouse. Adam directed Skinner around the back of the 
building. They saw an old beat up Volkswagon van parked there.

They entered the old building and moved up a back staircase.

"Case?" Adam called.

They heard rustling from down the hall. Case came out of one of the 
doorways. He looked scared. Scully noticed that he was carrying his gun. She 
unconsciously felt for her own, making sure it was close at hand.

"How is he?" Adam asked.

"I don't know, I'm no doctor, but he doesn't look good."

Scully moved forward into the room Case had come from. She was in doctor 
mode, Mulder noted. People were gathered around a bed towards the back. 
Stick was lying unconscious, covered in sweat and blood. He'd been shot once 
in the chest and once in the stomach. Scully removed the makeshift bandage 
from his chest and saw the telltale bubbling that spoke lung puncture to 
her. She couldn't get a radial pulse. The man was in shock and not far from 
death. His breath was coming in short gasps.

"We have to get this man to a hospital or he won't make it," she told them 
with urgency.

Adam pushed Winwood forward. He moved closer to Stick, taking Scully's hands 
gently out of the way. He placed his own over Stick's wounds. They all 
watched in amazement as the holes made by the bullets slowly closed up. He 
kept his hands there a moment longer and Stick's breathing returned to 
normal. His eyes became clear and he looked up in amazement at Winwood. He 
sat up and everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

Scully looked on in disbelief. She leaned forward and touched where the 
wounds had been. She looked into his eyes and saw an understanding there 
that she herself didn't have. She got up and walked out of the room.

When Mulder found her, she was at the end of the hall, staring out a dirty 
window.

"Are you ok?" he asked softly. She just nodded. It took every ounce of 
composure to resist the urge to pull her into his arms. She needed some 
space to deal with everything. Every degree of normalcy was crumbling for 
her. They stood there a moment before she spoke.

"I guess that I am feeling quintessentially useless right now."

"Scully...." he searched his mind for the words. Nothing seemed adequate.

"I'm sorry, that was selfish of me," she chastised herself.

He moved around to where he could see her profile. She had the very edge of 
her lips twisted upwards in an expression of displeasure and deep thought 
he'd come to recognize. But he also knew that it was an expression that she 
never used around other people. That told him two things. She was unhappy 
with herself and he was still in her inner world.

"Come on, you don't have a selfish bone in your body." She looked over at 
him then. The hurt was raw on her face now and twisting like a knife in his 
heart. He noticed right away.

"Where's your cross?" She'd taken it off days ago in his apartment. Her own 
show of mourning. She'd left it on his desk. Her chin began to quiver. Her 
face began to crumble in pain.

"Com'ere," he pulled her gently to him. She allowed him to draw her albeit 
reluctantly into his arms. She took but one breath, inhaling his scent, and 
she couldn't keep control any longer. Tears flowed as she sobbed into his 
chest. At first she slowly put her arms around him, then her grip tightened 
and finally she clung to him with an intensity he hadn't seen before from 
her.  She seemed to need him for her own life to continue. Scully turned her 
ear to his chest. She needed to hear his heart beating. He held her, 
allowing her what she was feeling, gently stroking her hair, speaking quiet 
words of comfort to her.

"S'okay, I'm here, everything's going to work out."

When her tears and the small hitching of her breath eased, he reached down 
and tenderly lifted her chin so that she was looking at him. She could see 
that he'd been crying too. The questions started afresh in her mind. Why 
hadn't he trusted her? Why was he always trying to draw her lines of 
commitment for her? How could he have made love to her and then allowed her 
to believe he was dead? Mulder lowered his face towards hers. No one was 
more shocked than she was with her next word.

"No."

She said it simply, yet fraught with meaning. When the word was actually out 
and hanging in the air, she found the courage to act in her own best 
interests. She pushed at his chest, looking at him with puzzled eyes, as if 
he had just grown a horn in the middle of his forehead.

Mulder almost laughed, the word seemed so out of place in the moment. He was 
close to asking her to repeat herself. He didn't though because he was 
fairly sure that she would. Instead he just took a step back, trying to 
figure out what was going on in her mind.

Scully was searching the air around his chest as if it were her mind. She 
was looking for the words to express something to him. He probably knew what 
she would say better than she did. He didn't want her to have to say it. So 
he just nodded his understanding.

Skinner came out looking for them.

"We need to figure out what the next move's gonna be here. Join us."

Everyone in the room looked tired and drawn out. They all agreed that the 
first priority was to get to McDougall before the Syndicate took him out. No 
one except Scully, Skinner and Winwood had actually had any sleep in over 32 
hours, yet they were the only ones not really participating in the 
discussion.

Adam was alive once again with ambition. He and Mulder navigated the 
situation with a confidence that seemed almost ludicrous under the 
circumstances.

Skinner would go back to the bureau and stay there, business as usual, where 
they needed his resources. Mulder was vaguely surprised to find that he 
agreed readily to this. In his experience, Skinner needed proof and a solid 
evidence trail before he stuck his neck out for anyone. Of course, watching 
Winwood shift had been somewhat of an evidence trail in and of itself. Come 
to think of it, Mulder thought, Skinner's been pretty quiet since that 
little event.

Scully didn't jump into the talk either. She was feeling like a fifth wheel. 
They spoke with determination and conviction of belief. She wasn't so sure 
just what she believed. Whenever Mulder spoke of aliens, deep down she'd 
always thought that somewhere he'd been misguided. But with everyone in the 
room seeming to take their existance as a given, her world was taking on 
surrealistic overtones. She no longer really knew what to believe.

They needed intelligence before they could get to McDougall, and they needed 
that fast. Skinner left for the bureau. They were losing their day and 
needed to get to the Senator. All they could do is await Skinner's phone 
call with the details of where he was and who was calling the shots 
officially on the compound.

The room was getting quieter. Everyone was either slumped on one of the four 
cots in the room or resting their heads on the table. They'd turned off the 
small television set--no one could watch the deaths of their friends 
anymore. Mulder was across the room. He was giving Scully the space that she 
needed to sort things out.

Skully looked at the faces she could see. They all looked military to some 
extent. She didn't know them, but she could see the different emotions 
flashing across their faces. Whatever they'd done, they believed in it. They 
trusted Adam and even Mulder.

It was strange being in a room with people who looked up to Mulder. He 
wasn't Spooky in here. He had credibility. She could see it in the way they 
hung on the words he said and reacted in their own thoughts without 
questioning him. He was home here in a way he never had been at the bureau.

She felt a small rise of jealousy. For years she'd loved having Mulder to 
herself. It had made her feel special. She knew that she was seeing 
something in a man that for some reason no one else seemed to be able to. 
She'd felt priveleged to be getting something that everyone else seemed to 
miss. It had made her feel smart, not that she needed that particular ego 
stroke, but in a simple way it was the truth. He'd needed her to accept him. 
He'd needed someone to believe in him. Not just someone...but someone who 
had credibility within the bureau. Despite her understanding of his work, 
she'd never lost that credibility for the most part.

But now...now there were a group of people who knew what she did about him. 
She chastised herself yet again for her selfishness. She should have been 
glad that he'd found his niche. She realized then that she was just afraid 
of losing him. She wanted to go across the room and make some sort of 
physical contact. She couldn't do that though. She didn't want him to 
misinterpret her actions. Her heart ached and she needed to protect it and 
let it heal a bit. Adam approached her, speaking in hushed tones.

"Are you ok?" Wasn't that Mulder's line? She nodded.

"Do you trust Skinner?" She held his look then.

"He won't sell you out, if that's what you mean. He's careful. I don't see 
that you have much of a choice. If I'm to believe all of this, you need him 
right now. He's risked his reputation and his life for us before. I don't 
see that having changed. I trust him more than I trust anyone in this room 
at the moment." She surprised herself at her blatant hostility towards the 
group and her defensiveness of the Assistant Director. Adam looked down.

"Look I know that you can't be happy with what's gone on in the last while." 
She scoffed at that statement. He had *no* idea...."But you have to see that 
we were all doing what we could at the time, what we thought was the right 
thing. Your partner included. He wasn't given much of a choice."

"We all have choices Adam. Look, I appreciate you trying to fix Mulder and 
me, but this isn't just about the last few weeks. And...it's really just 
between him and I." Adam was stung by that remark, but he kept his 
composure.

"I have to ask you something. Are you willing to do the job with McDougall?"

Scully was surprised at the question. It spoke volumes to her. Somehow in 
that one little question, Adam had fixed a whole series of inner hurts from 
the day. She'd been feeling left out, underappreciated, and worst of all, 
not trusted. His question addressed all of that. Of course she would get the 
job done. She played it cool though.

"What did you have in mind?"

"You taking Winwood into the hospital and walking out with McDougall. He's 
going to need to get to the White House. This thing has to be blown wide 
open. There's no other way than to expose the Syndicate right now, otherwise 
they can continue to use the military against us." She pondered this. He 
continued.

"But they know that and they are gonna be putting everything into his not 
getting there. It's risky, but everything we do right now is risky."

"I'll do it." She wasn't thinking much at that point. She needed to be 
needed again. She liked that he thought of her as capable. The phone rang as 
she was finishing her thoughts. She noticed Mulder looking at them then. 
Adam picked up the phone and spoke.

Everyone in the room looked up, waiting for him to finish.

"Ok...everyone listen up. Most of the upper council is in hiding, that's 
actually the good part. We know who's yanking the chains and where to find 
McDougall. This is Dana Scully if you haven't met her yet, she's going in 
with Winwood to get McDougall."

"What?!" interjected Mulder. "She can't go in there. Anyone from the 
Syndicate would recognize her. She'd be dead before she got through the 
front doors."

"Nonetheless, we need her medical background and expertise. We are out of 
time for finding someone else. She's agreed to go and she *will* be going." 
Mulder didn't want to challenge Adam in front of everyone, but this wasn't 
over.

"Then I'll go too," he offered. Scully didn't say anything. She knew that 
Adam would settle it all without her help.

"No, they'll be looking for you for sure. We have to assume that they know 
you're alive. We aren't going to take unnecessary risks here. They'll go in 
and get him to safety. They'll go alone, be in and out and back before you 
know it." There was nothing Mulder could credibly add to that. He knew that 
Adam was right, he just didn't like it.

Winwood didn't seem to like the idea too much either. He seemed willing to 
go along with it though, which just begged the question for Mulder....

"How well do you know this alien?" he whispered to Adam as he pushed him 
into the hall.

"I know that he doesn't have much of a choice. I know that he has risked and 
given up everything for us. More than anyone of us has risked. He's betrayed 
his race for our good."

"And what does that tell you? Why was he running from us when we found 
him?!" he forced through clenched teeth. "What if he runs from Scully and 
leaves her standing there holding the bag?!"

"I don't think he'll do that! It wouldn't appear that we have much of a 
choice here Saint!" Adam was equally angry. Mulder was acting for the 
limited good of his own life and not in the interests of the whole.

"It's *Mulder*" he stressed. Adam nodded, then turned to the room and 
addressed Scully.

"Are you ready to go?" She was. Winwood had changed into some military 
fatigues Adam had given him. Scully gave Mulder a meaningful look.

Winwood, Scully, Adam and Mulder headed down the stairs. Adam gave 
instructions as they walked.

"Walk away from here at least four blocks. Hail a cab to Bethesda Naval 
Hospital. You'll find him on the fourth floor. Winwood, I am sure that you 
are aquainted with General Grey." They shared a knowing look. "He's been 
calling the shots officially for the Syndicate and will probably be your 
best in once you're inside the hospital. Try...."

While they chatted, Mulder took the opportunity to pull Scully back a bit in 
order to talk sense into her.

"Scully, you don't have to do this."

"Do what? Risk my life for a cause I believe in?"

"No...show me that you can hurt me the way I hurt you."

She considered denying this, but found her argument would be weak at best.

"My motives hardly matter here. We don't have that much of a choice. At 
least I am saying goodbye to you." Mulder just shook his head, pleading.

"Please don't do this." Scully felt a moment of regret mixed with sadness. 
Her voice softened.

"This isn't all about you Mulder. This is about me. I *need* to do this." He 
nodded reluctant understanding.

"Please be careful then." For some reason, his concern felt more like a lack 
of faith in her.

"Of course," she said wryly, "I wouldn't want you to have to bury me."

The venom she spoke with was so uncharacteristic of her that he couldn't 
think of anything to say. She was usually more direct in her anger and 
didn't play the cheap shots game. She seemed to realize that too and looked 
away slightly embarassed at her own words. She softened and reached out and 
placed her hand flat on his chest.

"We'll work this out when I get back." His eyes looked so sad and longing. 
Her look consoled him that she was okay and that there was hope. He nodded.

================================

In the back of the cab, Scully couldn't help blatantly sizing up Winwood. 
Part of her accepted him being an alien. Another part of her fought with the 
idea. He seemed to understand what she was thinking.

"Yes, I am an alien, although I don't think of myself that way." He spoke 
low out of consideration for the poor cab driver who might not understand 
their conversation. "You're a doctor. I am a doctor of sorts where I come 
from too. Not all of us can heal. I never thought that I would be military 
in any way though."

She looked at him with new eyes.

"You are probably wondering how I do the things I do. It's in our chemistry. 
Our cells rapidly regenerate and divide on demand. I suppose it is where 
your species will be in a million years or sooner, if they survive. In a 
way, I am behind my time. It's not characteristic of us to interfere with 
other planets. We are a very peaceful race. For some reason, I have a strong 
feeling of compassion. That's all but gone from us as a race." She didn't 
like that statement. He continued.

"That's not a bad thing altogether. We aren't hostile, we usually don't have 
emotions. Sort of like bio-machines. My species will only act in order to 
learn." He smiled. "I am somewhat crazy by my government's standards. They 
consider me to be impaired to the higher good. I've been ostrasized for 
years because of my views. They think I am a little crazy. I dunno. Maybe I 
am." He stared out the window, lost in thought. She felt some empathy 
towards him then. An alien version of Mulder.

"It's a good thing for us that you are," she added. He looked at her. She 
desperately needed to know something then. "It wasn't your race then that 
experimented on me was it?"

He shook his head sadly. "No, that was your own government, working with 
another race of aliens. We observe, nothing else. At least as a race, that's 
our philosophy."

Winwood had a quiet peacefulness about him. She found herself confiding in 
him in a way she normally wouldn't. She fiddled with her hands and spoke 
quietly.

"They took something from me that I can never get back." She could feel him 
looking at her as she stared at her hands.

"Your ability to have a child..." he finished for her. "They do that to a 
lot of women. It's part of the genetic experiments. They don't think about 
the consequences to the victim."

She nodded, feeling the emotions rising up in her. It had been a long time 
since she had thought about that...or about Emily and what might have been. 
She hadn't meant to create an awkward moment.

"We heal with our hands." With that, he placed his hand on top of hers. She 
looked up at him. She could feel something like a low-voltage charge in his 
touch. It seemed to race through her body, calming her mind, changing her 
outlook, giving her peace.

"How do you do that?" she whispered more to herself than to him.

"I never thought about the explanation much before I came to this planet. I 
guess we do it the same way we re-arrange our own cells and change our 
appearance."

Scully had a million biology based questions for him, but their drive to the 
hospital was nearing an end.

They entered the hospital using her credentials. There seemed to be soldiers 
everywhere. They ducked into a room where Winwood morphed into someone 
Scully guessed was the general they'd been talking about. The soldiers 
saluted as he walked with an air of authority to where the senator was lying 
in ICU. Everyone appeared to know who the general was, but the two soldiers 
at the Senator's door asked Scully for identification. She produced her FBI 
badge. They took a very careful look at it.

Inside the room, there was another soldier sitting not far from the door. As 
they approached the bed, Winwood/Grey addressed the soldier in the room.

"Corporal, I would like you to check on a car for us...I'd like that done 
discreetly."

"But...sir..." the corporal seemed uncertain. Winwood/Grey wasn't flinching. 
The corporal reluctantly got up from his post.

Winwood morphed back into his original shape. He lowered the blankets and 
layed his hands on the general's body. The bullet had passed through an area 
close to his heart. Scully imagined the sharpshooter had gone for the heart 
but the senator had moved slightly as the shot was taken.

As Winwood worked his god-magic, the Senator began waking up. He immediately 
started gagging and struggling with the tube in his throat.

"Sir, I am going to remove that for you. You need to relax and allow me to 
do that." He tried to relax as Scully worked to free him from his prison of 
tubes. She turned off machines and monitors in the process. The Senator 
watched with fearful eyes.

"Sir, you were shot by someone from the Syndicate. We believe that they will 
be here soon to finish the job. We are here to help you get to safety. Can 
you get up?" He nodded. Winwood shifted back into the General. McDougall 
watched in fascination, an understanding passing over his eyes. The corporal 
re-entered the room.

The corporal almost fell backwards in shock at seeing the senator sitting 
up. He quickly regained his military composure. Scully passed the Senator 
some clothing and turned around. They moved quickly. General Grey addressed 
the corporal.

"We are going to take the two soldiers from outside the door and you. We are 
going to proceed to the vehicle you've arranged without allowing anyone to 
see us. This man's life is in danger. We cannot be seen. Particularly not by 
any press, but not by other military personnel either. We are going to keep 
this very quiet." The corporal didn't understand what was going on, but he 
was all-military and nodded his understanding.

Getting out was easier than Scully would have imagined. The Syndicate 
probably didn't anticipate that there were any survivors of the compound 
massacre. Cancerman, you've made a serious strategic blunder, she thought as 
they all piled into a military vehicle and drove off into the growing 
darkness.

===============================

It was closing on to 1 a.m. and still no word from Scully. Mulder was 
worried. So many things could have gone wrong. Skinner hadn't called. That 
could be both good or bad. Adam was trying to sleep and encouraged Mulder to 
do the same. Waiting was a bitch.

Was this how Scully felt whenever he was off playing Fox Warrior Hero? He 
sat in one of the corners, trying to figure out some sort of comfortable 
position he could get some sleep in. He was doubly tired, the emotional 
exhaustion being the worst.

Just as his eyes were closing, he heard a distinct noise. Someone was on the 
staircase. He drew his weapon and jumped up in one fluid motion. Adam and 
Case followed suit, guns drawn. The room was instantly wide awake, but stony 
quiet. Suddenly there were many bootheels pounding up the steps.

This is it, thought Mulder.

"It's just me, it's Scully," she voiced loudly from the landing.

He had never heard such a sweet sound in all of his life. The three of them 
ventured a look out the door. In the darkness they could see Scully followed 
closely by armed men in combat uniforms. He closed his eyes in silent 
thanksgiving.

They turned on the light in the room. A few of the soldiers entered, most 
stayed out in the hall.

"The Senator is fine and at the White House. We are going to take you out of 
here to a place that is better equiped. Sergeant Major Ross, this is Adam 
Roberts, he's the man the Senator told you about."

"Sir! I've been instructed to take you take you to better facilities and 
follow your command. My squad of twenty is at your disposal sir!" he intoned 
with perfect military precision. Adam acknowledged him with a curt nod. 
Scully continued.

"The Senator wants a meeting early tomorrow afternoon. He said we're to meet 
him at 1 p.m." They all gathered their things together and headed down the 
stairs.

"Mulder," she stopped him with a touch to his arm, "you'll need to come in 
my car, we have a stop to make." Mulder gave a small chuckle.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing, it's just that that's the first time I have heard my own name in a 
while." He smiled a tired smile. "So...where are we going?"

"Would you believe into the office?"

"And why would we go there?"

"We need some of our files. I'll explain in the car."

She never did get to the explanation in the car. Before they'd gone a block, 
Mulder fell into a deep sleep. Some time later they pulled into the 
underground parkade of the Hoover Building. Mulder hadn't woken when the 
guard had checked her ID. Nor had he woken when the guard had had to call 
Skinner for confirmation about his entry to the building. He'd slept through 
the entire process. Scully hardly wanted to wake him, but she needed his 
help.

"We need everything we can get our hands on about the Syndicate. Anything we 
have," she explained once they were in the office.

"I don't understand why we'd need that."

"Geez Mulder, you're really tired." She was genuinely concerned. "We've 
entered a political arena. We are going to have to prove the things they've 
done. From what I understood, Senator McDougall is going to bat in the 
Council's defense. Whoever's been feeding Cancerman his power all of this 
time will be up against him. This is what we've been waiting for Mulder. 
This is where you finally get some validation for the things you've done."

Mulder nodded less enthusiastically than she thought he would and put 
together a bundle of papers and files.

"We have to stop by my apartment."

"Do you think that's safe?"

"The way I see it, we may be trying to get things together here, but the 
Syndicate is scrambling madly. They can't touch us now without losing the 
war."

She had to agree with him on that one. Inside his apartment, the process 
seemed to take a lot longer than she'd thought. Mulder was sorting through a 
system that only he understood. She'd always thought that he was just 
careless and sloppy with his home filing system. She could tell now though 
that it was actually the perfect oxymoron--organized chaos. He easily found 
what he was looking for. There was so much of it though, that he was picking 
and choosing.

She helped him for a while, but he was getting short with her and she didn't 
have the drive to interfere. She got up and made her way into his bedroom. 
She only wanted to lie down for a few minutes.

By the time he was ready to go, he looked around and was surprised to find 
that Scully was no longer at his side. He'd sorted his information into two 
neat boxes. He wandered into his livingroom and then through to the bedroom. 
There she was, sound asleep on the bed. She must have been exhausted.

He leaned against the doorway, resting his head on the frame, his hands 
tucked deep into his pockets. He stared at her sleeping. He considered 
waking her up but she looked so peaceful and angelic. He was so tired.

Without a whole lot of thought, he climbed onto the bed and laid down beside 
her. He thought for a moment, then opted to push his good fortune and 
spooned up to her. His arm draped across her waist and pulled her closer in 
to him. He fully expected her to wake up, turn around and give him a black 
eye to explain to the Council in the morning. She sucked in a short breath 
and opened her eyes. He knew that she wasn't really awake though as her eyes 
melted back into sleep. He was asleep himself in a matter of two minutes, 
his face nestled pleasantly into her hair.

===============================

The first sensation she had when she opened her eyes was panic. Daylight was 
streaming into the bedroom, she was disorientated by it. God, what time was 
it?! She panicked her wrist up and tried to make sense of her watch. It was 
only 9 a.m. She sighed in relief.

The next sensation she was aware of was a heaviness along one side of her 
and covering her stomach below her ribs. She looked down in momentary 
incomprehension. It was Mulder's arm, she realized. She became aware that he 
was curled up to her. She turned herself over under his arm. His face was 
peaceful in sleep. She felt slightly shy about their intimate position.

That's just silly, she rebuked herself. After all, they'd been lovers. But 
what were they now? Lovers? Friends? Simply partners? None of the above? 
Enough analyzing it, she thought. It just was what it was. Definition only 
drew away from it.

She just nestled in the contentment of watching him sleep, shamelessly, in a 
way that she never could when he was awake. His face was unshaven. He had a 
rough mountain man look to him. She smiled. He needed a haircut. Her face 
grew serious again. She stared at his features. His lips were perfect. Very 
kissable. She blushed slightly at the thought. Tentatively, she reached up 
and picked a stray lock of hair and moved it away from his forehead. Unable 
to resist, she allowed her fingers to lightly trail down the side of his 
face to grate roughly against his 5 o'clock two-days-later shadow.

"Tread carefully G-woman, I'm only human."

Scully drew in a quick breath. He opened his eyes and looked at her. Despite 
her embarrassment, she couldn't look away. She found herself lost in his 
eyes. She suddenly remembered to breathe again.

"I'm sorry...I...." she flustered.

"Scully, it's okay," he chastised her. His grip tightened on her as she made 
motions to get up. She relaxed again, probably more on instinct than on a 
desire to stay. "I've missed you," he whispered.

For one panicked second, she was afraid he was going to kiss her. When the 
second passed, she found that she was afraid that he wouldn't. She felt 
incredibly physically drawn to him. She touched her lips with her tongue in 
an unconscious motion born of her growing desire to have him kiss her.

Mulder wasn't going to do that. He wanted her to make any moves in that 
direction. He felt responsible for her feeling confused and hurt. He didn't 
want to impose his intentions on her. He wanted her to want him beyond any 
doubts. Maybe that wouldn't happen this soon. Maybe it would. But it had to 
come from her.

"I thought you were dead," was all she could manage.

He could see the pained way that she spoke. He reached over her to his 
bedside table where he'd put her cross the night before.

"You left this here." He reached around her neck and fastened it, adjusting 
the cross in the center. The jesture was intimate.

He wasn't expecting it when she reached up and continued the trail her 
fingers had started down his jaw. They traced their way to his lips. She 
couldn't take her eyes from those lips. She wanted to press her own to them, 
taste his mouth and share again the feelings of one night long long ago.

"Mulder, I am still feeling numb about all of this. I don't know where we're 
going," she pushed out, needing resolution. It was hard to feel any negative 
emotion though when he was holding her so intimately.

"I understand that Scully, I just don't want to be shut out completely, 
that's all."

"You don't want that, yet that's what you did to me." The words weren't 
spoken harshly, just a simple statement of fact.

"I can't explain my motives exactly. I just didn't want you going where I 
was going. Can you say that even now, with all you've seen in our years 
together and especially in the last twenty-four hours, that you firmly 
believe in the existance of extraterrestrial life here on earth?"

She withdrew her hand from his face. He had her there. She didn't *not* 
believe it, she just didn't know what to think. Her world was all turned 
around and unbelievable. Somewhere deep down, she still held the faint hope 
that there was some other explanation. And there was always the "dream" 
factor.

"What would it take exactly? Would you need one of those *things* running 
out at you in a dark forest? And as its teeth tore into you, would you 
believe then?"

He was hurting her now. He was attacking her ability to reason.

But he was also right.

Hot emotion rose up in her. She pushed at his arm, wanting to get up and out 
of there before she said something she'd regret. He wasn't letting go. He 
wasn't tightening his grip, but he wasn't letting her go either.

"Scully," he continued gently, "you've never wanted to believe. I didn't 
want you to die because I did." He watched her struggling to maintain the 
strength he admired so much about her. "Scully, I love you," he breathed.

Her eyes snapped up to his. The love and yearning flowed from his eyes to 
hers, all the way down into her heart. Loving Mulder seemed to sometimes 
mean pain. What did that say about her?

She moved her face closer, drawn to him by sheer magnetic pull. Their lips 
touched before he returned the kiss. Tears moved down her cheek from closed 
eyes. The intensity and passion of the kiss grew until their breathing 
became deep and quick. Air couldn't get into her lungs fast enough.

With a gasp, Scully tore away her mouth more out of survival instinct than a 
desire to do so. He continued to kiss down her chin to her neck as her hands 
found their way up his own neck. She twisted her fingers in his hair even as 
he continued his trail of moist kisses. His hands were roaming the contours 
of her body, finding her breasts over her shirt. She'd taken off her jacket 
the night before and lay there in a navy sleeveless turtleneck that he was 
pulling at.

She needed no coaxing. They both worked off their clothing somehow without 
losing physical contact. His skin was so hot against hers. His lips 
engulphed her own. His tongue darted out to sword fight with hers for entry 
into her mouth. His hands roamed her body. His touch was electric, igniting 
a fire in her lower belly. She felt a familiar warmth between her legs that 
was quickly growing to an urgent state. He cupped her breasts. She gasped 
even through his kiss, drawing air from his own mouth.

As his fingers felt and teased one of her pink nipples, she moaned. That was 
enough encouragement for him. He moved down, trailing heated stars of kisses 
down her neck, capturing one of her nipples in his mouth. His tongue played 
at the tip as he gently bit. She moaned appreciation. She could feel the 
dampness between her legs becoming more of a flow. She needed to feel him 
there.

Mulder's touch was sheer fire. His fingers moved across her belly to the 
tangle of hair below. She drew in a breath and held it as he found his way 
towards her inner womanhood. She was incredibly wet. He watched her face as 
his fingers slid easily inside. He began to stroke her. Her eyes were shut, 
her brow wrinkled slightly. She was lost in the ecstacy of the sensation. He 
kissed, licked and sucked his way down, needing to taste her. When she felt 
his tongue invade her, she cried out softly.

He was precise in his movements. His tongue flickered across her swollen 
clit. His fingers worked at her, moving inside. His tongue stroked her in a 
way that sent shocks up her body. She could feel her climax rising. The 
pressure in her built up a mass of sensation. Her body tensed and her back 
arched as she felt the first wave of heaven invading her body. She was 
powerless to stop the moan escaping her lips as he sent her over the edge of 
pleasure.

He could feel her contracting around his fingers. He tasted her anew, taking 
pleasure in the effect he had on her body. Her fingers were tangled in his 
hair. As the ripples subsided, she pulled gently at his hair, urging him up.

He paused when he was inches from her face. The look of total lover's bliss 
on her face as the light filtered in through the blinds was incredible. Her 
eyes held that come hither look to them that was intoxicating. His mind and 
mouth worked on their own at words, on their own in truth, apart from the 
here and now somehow. The words were above time and space, they existed 
somehow as an eternal truth.

"God I love you Scully," he breathed.

Her eyes found focus on his face then. She returned his words with a kiss 
that was more sweet than passion. It was the kiss they'd shared in the 
coffee house. It was a kiss that said "more than a lover, you are my 
friend". It spoke volumes to his heart. He thought he would die in the 
intensity of the moment. If he died, he would die complete.

"I want to feel you inside me," she whispered thickly.

He needed no second request there. He moved with purpose. For one still 
second, he poised at her opening, watching the desire in her eyes. As he 
entered her he caught a glimpse of heaven on her face before his eyes closed 
with the sensation. He buried his head in a mass of hair at her neck as his 
movements became rythmic. His mind could think of nothing but that he was 
making love to Scully again. No hesitation, no regrets, nothing but love.

Her movements countered his perfectly. Her hips rose to meet his every 
thrust in the animal instinct they shared. She had become more bold this 
time, wrapping her legs around him, allowing for a deeper penetration.

He loved her shy ways and how he alone seemed to hold the keys to unlocking 
her mysteries.

*Oh my Scully, tough as nails, soft as silk, your depths unfathomable*

He realized within her that he was making love to the whole person. 
Mountains could crumble, the sky could fall, aliens could burst into the 
apartment, the entire building could be swallowed by the ground and he would 
be powerless to do anything but continue making love to Scully.

Her breathing became ragged and soft moans escaped her lips in a way he was 
coming to recognize as a warning that she was reaching climax. He felt her 
body tighten beneath his as she moaned his name in ecstacy. A moment after 
her release, while she was still in the wake of orgasm, he found his own, 
pushing deeply into her and spilling his seed. Oh, he never wanted to let 
her go. He wanted to just absorb her and feel this way forever.

He lifted his head and looked into her face as soon as he could find the 
strength. Her eyes held that certain virginal wonder look to them. You 
couldn't script that look. He knew that she'd had other lovers, but he also 
knew that a maze surrounded her heart and somehow he'd found a way through 
that no one else ever had. No one else ever would. Nor could anyone ever 
love him or touch him the way she had. Every piece of her was given with 
meaning. He cherished that.

*so this is "making love"*

When he moved off of her, he pulled her to his side. Her head was resting on 
his chest. If they could only stay like this, there never would be any 
aliens, never an invasion, never would they die. He tightened his arm around 
her, not wanting it to end.

"We have to get up eventually," she chimed into his thoughts.

He just groaned. Too soon, Scully pushed her body up off the bed.

He allowed her some space to take a shower, then he jumped into one himself. 
When he came back into the bedroom, she was dressed and rifling through his 
closet.

"I think it's understood that you wear the pants in this relationship."

Her face wore that "we are not amused" expression she'd taught the queen.

"I wanted to find something for Adam to wear, he's about your size," she 
replied, deep in thought. Only Scully could be concerned about appearing 
professional when the four horses of the apocalypse were  galloping towards 
Washington. But he knew well the determined resolve in her face.

Mulder gave her comment some thought. He wasn't sure he liked the fact that 
she'd compared Adam to him, but he knew much better than to allow that 
thought a voice. She picked his navy suit, still wrapped from the cleaners. 
He wanted to tell her that that was the one that he wanted to wear, but...he 
was pretty sure that no matter what she picked, that would be what he'd 
wanted to wear. And she would know that. So, he kept his mouth shut and 
picked another.

He hadn't anticipated wearing a suit. But his excuse was basically moot at 
this point as now Adam would be wearing one too. He liked a more casual feel 
to himself. Whenever he managed to reasonably discard his jacket at the 
office during the day, he would roll up his sleeves, wishing to god that he 
could just rip them off. He loathed ties.

*how smart are men anyway when they start every day by tying a noose around 
their necks?*

He noticed that she'd picked up his clothes from the floor. Apparently she 
didn't know the system. He saved those clothes for his off days when he 
could crawl out of bed and do the nose search thing, finding the cleanest of 
his dirty shirts to lie around the apartment in or go out for a jog if the 
mood struck. He knew that she hadn't picked them up out of some maladjusted 
need to prove her domesticity, but simply because she couldn't stand the 
thought that she had made love to such a slob. Ok...change number one. He 
could live with that.

She left the room when he started to dress. He smiled.

*We can make love so long as you don't have to see me naked*

She was a doctor, she knew the human body. It was human intimacy that she 
stumbled over at times. But that was part of the affection. It was like 
peeling an onion. He knew that the time when she could sit and watch him 
would be special. Just like every part of her was. He wasn't going to rush 
anything.

=================================

Scully stopped at her apartment briefly for a quick change. They found their 
way to the new mole hole easily enough. It was a large brownstone totally 
indistinguishable from the others that lined the street. He wondered briefly 
how they had gotten a truckload of military personnel inside without 
arousing suspicion. The guard that let them in recognized Scully, but didn't 
seem so sure about Mulder.

The crew looked a whole lot better. They looked rested and focused. They all 
had a clean change of clothing on. Adam was sitting at the kitchen table 
finishing up his breakfast that apparently one of the soldiers had cooked.

"I'm glad you're okay," he said pointedly. "What's in the boxes?"

"The makings of a coffin big enough to fit what's left of the Syndicate," 
came Mulder's reply.

"I'm sorry if we worried you. I brought you something to wear." Scully said 
as she held out the suit for him.

She had picked up on the fact that Adam had been worried. She felt a surge 
of guilt that she quickly washed down with the rationale that she had been 
left to worry for a lot longer than he had. Still, she found that she liked 
Adam. He was considerate and charming in a way that was endearing. He had 
that whole professional good looking thing down pat too, which can never 
hurt to have. His cockeyed grin was somewhat reminiscent of Mulder's own.

"I can't remember the last time I wore a suit."

He smiled and took it though. When he reappeared wearing it, he suffered the 
good-natured teasing of his colleagues. He looked pretty good dressed for 
business, Scully noted. Mulder noted her noting him. Not that he would ever 
say anything. No siree. Scully would never go for the "jealous boyfriend" 
bit, not in the least.

Mulder wasn't really sure where all of these feelings of jealousy were 
coming from anyhow. Maybe it all stemmed from the obviously easy way they 
interacted at a time when they were struggling. It had taken him forever to 
get to where he was in her heart. He would never disrespect her in that way, 
by second guessing her. Besides, Scully was devoted and in love with him. He 
had confidence in that at least, even if she'd never said as much.

McDougall came by to pick them up. He seemed pleased by their appearance. He 
explained that there had been a massive roundup of known Syndicate members. 
They had used all of their resources and knowledge to pick up every part of 
the group they could. They somehow managed to get all of the top players. 
The meeting they would be going to would not be conventional, by any means. 
A panel of presidential advisors would be listening to the Council's 
arguments only.

The suspected Syndicate members were not on trial here, McDougall made this 
very clear. It was merely an argument to defend the compound's existance and 
to throw to light the workings of the Syndicate. The panel formed to advise 
the president was constructed hastily, yet they understood the matter at 
hand. The panel would be making the judgement call on where things would go 
from here officially.

Bureaucracy. Mulder had the incredible urge to just run.


==============================

If Scully was impressed at appearing before an anonimous subcommittee, she 
wasn't showing it. They were hustled through three seperate checks, each one 
reassuring her that they were safe amongst their enemies. The session would 
be locked down. By the way security was running, nothing would get in or 
out. No phone calls would be permitted. It seemed strange to have a 
seemingly democratic process in clear violation of civil rights. They 
learned that they were virtual prisoners until the matter became sorted out.

"Jesus," Adam whispered. He was looking at the assembly of men milling about 
cautiously in the large conference room. Everyone present seemed to be in 
various states of attire. It was clear that none of them were given any time 
to dress for the occasion. "That's Matt Barnes, special attache to the 
British Foreign Delegate. Geez, international shit. And that's Earnie 
'Bulldog' Sinclair. You hear of him?" he asked Mulder. Mulder hadn't. "He 
pretty much runs the military. Well, in strictly the covert sense anyways. 
No doubt these guys aren't here willingly. This room is packed with the 
thorns in my side of the last five years."

"And here is mine." Mulder was nodding to an older gentleman that one would 
hardly recognize without the Morley hanging from his mouth.

"These are all of the key players. Blow up this room now and I am sure that 
no one could save the world," Adam commented. Mulder looked at him. *That* 
was a scary thought. Just then, Skinner showed up in the doorway. Scully and 
Adam went over to talk with him. Mulder couldn't take his eyes off of CGB 
Spender.

When Cancerman noticed Mulder standing alone he made his way over, smiling 
as though they were old friends. Mulder returned the smile in kind. It was a 
challenge that only players knew.

"You're going down today. I have waited a long time for this," Mulder said 
with no small amount of gloating. He could see something behind Spender's 
eyes. Fear?

"You'd do well to remember Mulder that I have helped you along the way as 
well." Mulder smiled.

"You're not going to do that you son-of-a-bitch." He said it cordially, as 
though talking to the President himself, his smile never waning. "You aren't 
going to slime out of this one. You sold out the human race and now it's 
time to pay the piper. Hopefully with blood."

"Don't be so sure."

If the statement had of been said at any other time, Mulder might not have 
waivered in his belief. But as it was said CGB was looking across the room 
at Scully. Mulder was suddenly very glad that she'd pressed the suit issue. 
You needed to suit up in order to keep the dirt from you when you cleaned 
out the sewer.

"She's quite something, isn't she?" Mulder's eyes narrowed.

"You're not fit to breathe the same air," the charade of amicability had 
vaporated.

Spender continued as though Mulder hadn't said a word.

"It's a good thing that our technology cured her cancer. That one little 
chip became all-important, didn't it? It's something you don't want to 
lose."

"You aren't threatening me you black lunged *fuck*. You are going down 
today. Your entire organization is. I'll be watching your burial on CNN with 
a bag of Doritos in my hand and Scully beside me on the couch. You're a 
traitor to the human race and your employment history is going to come to 
light."

"The only thing that makes one man a hero and another a traitor is which 
side wins the war. It's not over yet. I have other cards to play."

"Well, I guess that this meeting will see the outcome of that."

"The Roman Empire wasn't built by meetings, Mulder, it was built by killing 
anyone who opposed it."

"Mulder," Scully had appeared and placed a hand on his arm, beckoning him to 
join them. He moved himself between Cancerman and his partner and guided her 
back towards Skinner.

Skinner acknowledged Mulder with a quick nod.

"Sir, can you tell me why this hearing is being held in this forum? This 
isn't exactly protocol, if there were such a thing for this situation."

"You are hardly one to dictate protocol Mulder. This is an extremely 
sensitive and volatile situation."

"This all needs to go on public record. I don't want these bullshit 
politicians sweeping this one. People have a right to the truth."

"If you ever needed to follow political etiquette Agent Mulder, it's now."

"What?" Mulder wore his perfect "who...me??" expression.

"I mean it, you need to keep your personal interests in check and your mouth 
shut as much as possible. Between you and Adam, you'll be the ones that 
float or sink the ship."

He was sounding for all the world like a coach before the big game. Mulder 
looked at Scully. She looked worried too.

"You don't think I can handle this?"

"Of course you can handle this Mulder. But can *they* handle it? You aren't 
exactly known for your ability to wow the powers that be. You need to 
present your evidence in a logical and concise manner, without introducing 
*any* opinion. Do you understand that? Just the facts. That's all they'll 
see."

Mulder almost laughed then.

"If that's all they'll see, then we have lost already! Most of what's in 
these files, I followed on nothing but a hunch. I'm right--you know it, they 
know it. Proof isn't something these guys leave lying around."

She pulled him away from their little group and spoke quietly.

"Mulder...the passion you have for your work is part of why I..." Love me? 
he thought. She swallowed hard.

"...it's part of what I respect about you. But it doesn't play well in this 
arena." He looked away from her. "I'm not telling you not to relay your 
emotions, I'm just asking that you show these men the respect that you have 
been unable to show the hierarchy at the bureau."

"I only treated them with the contempt they treated me with first."

To Scully that just had all the smackings of 'they started it!' 
childishness.

"Okay. But these are the men who will help bring this to an end. We need to 
play things their way." He nodded, more resigned than happy.

The meeting was called to order. It had the shapings of a congressional 
hearing more than the round table discussion they were presenting it as in 
their opening address. The people seemed almost perfectly divided. Smoking 
Man and various other players on one side, Mulder and crew on the other. 
Mulder looked each man over carefully. So these were the players, he 
thought.

McDougall began his address to the delegates. He talked about being shot and 
about being a member of the Council and their purpose. When asked about 
Winwood's lack of attendance, the good Senator explained that he had 
disappeared from the White House and that no one could explain how. This 
didn't look good for their side.

Adam was called in turn to talk about his role in the Council and to defend 
his actions and relate the events of the last week. He was a man that didn't 
exist with no one to testify as to his credibility.  The panel pointed out 
that he'd had a sizeable amount of money filtered to the project. The 
implication was that this could be a motive for forwarding what could be 
mass delusion.

Adam told what he knew of the players across the room and of the alien 
conspiracy. Under questioning, he had to admit though that most of his 
evidence had been destroyed in the compound fire.

Mulder was up. Some of the faces in the room were from their meeting under 
the White House. There were too many unfamiliar faces though. He tried to 
stick to the questions at hand.

"Can you collaborate Adam Roberts' account of what's been going on Agent 
Mulder?" the chairman asked.

"Yes, I can. I was there at the compound and then inside the ship with him."

"And you saw the things he said you did, including human beings held there 
against their will and apparently being tested?"

"Yes sir."

"And you have been on another ship in the Antarctic?"

"Yes sir."

"What can you tell us about that?"

"My partner was being held there. I found her and injected her with the 
vaccine. She recovered. I saw others in that ship. Hundreds. As far as I 
could tell, they were all growing these creatures inside their stomachs."

"How could you tell that?" one of the other members asked.

"Well, I could see them. The effect the virus was having on the bodies....it 
seemed to turn the skin translucent. Some of the aliens were fully 
developed."

"And Agent Scully can back up what you're saying?"

Mulder flashed his eyes down. "No, of course not, she was unconscious for 
the most part and doesn't remember it. But the files that I have here 
contain as much evidence as I have been able to gather about connections 
that the group of men we call the Syndicate had. They show a key player, 
that man over there" he pointed to Spender, "and his connection to what can 
best be synopsized by the word 'conspiracy'. There is a trail of dead bodies 
and everything I have been able to document is contained in them."

"You say 'evidence'. If that's the case, why haven't these murders gone to 
trial?"

"Because these men don't leave any obvious connections. How can you gather 
concrete evidence when they have the ability to systematically erase it all, 
along with the people who could testify against them? Hard evidence goes 
missing without explanation. How can these men be brought to justice if they 
control the system?"

There was a murmur of voices in the room before the chairman asked for 
silence. The questioning proceeded along without a hitch. Scully was proud 
of Mulder. When she was sure he was going to raise his voice in defense, he 
merely answered the questions calmly and factually.

"We're going to take a short break. Afterwards we will hear from Agent 
Scully."

The room cleared before Mulder got up.

"I think that went well," Adam said, but his voice hadn't held much 
conviction. It was all too clear that the entire thing was resting on 
Mulder's word for the most part.

"Where's Scully?"

"She went to freshen up," came Skinner's response.

Mulder walked off into the hallway, suddenly concerned for his partner.

================================

Scully was almost into the restroom when Cancerman caught up to her.

"I have nothing to say to you."

"He puts you through a lot. Your loyalty is admirable. It's nice to see that 
in this troubled time."

"You have been playing God for so long that you aren't capable of 
recognizing human emotion anymore." She reached for the door of the ladies 
room.

"I'm not the one you should be angry with Agent Scully. It's your partner 
who's been keeping your choices from you. You could've had the family you've 
always wanted if not for him." It was obvious that he had something to say. 
She felt powerless to walk away.

"What are you talking about?"

"Why don't you ask him what's in cold storage under the name of Katherine 
Northern in the Century Epoch Laboratory right here in Washington?"

By the time Mulder reached them, Cancerman was walking away.

"What'd he say to you?" Scully's face was perfectly puzzled.

"Mulder, who is Katherine Northern?" Mulder paled. To be truthful, he looked 
like his legs would give way under him. Guilt flooded his face.

"Mulder?" He fidgeted and then began rubbing his chin as though trying to 
erase the tension. Scully was wondering if he remembered she was there.

"Scully, we have to talk about that later, not now."

"I want to know now. I don't want to go into that hearing less than prepared 
for what will be thrown at me."

"Scully....I wouldn't know where to begin..."

"Mulder, you're scaring me. What's going on?"

"Alright...look," he paused, looking for the right words, "when you first 
got sick, with cancer...I was looking for the people who did that to you..." 
He looked down, the words were not coming easily. "I told you about 
Lombard...Scanlon was on staff there...I did some snooping...I found out 
something about what they'd done with the eggs they'd taken from you." 
Realization dawned in her face.

"Katherine Northern...oh god" Scully closed her eyes and covered her face 
with one hand. She could fill in the blanks herself. A wave of nausea hit 
her with the realization of what he was saying. She pushed into the restroom 
just in time to be sick. He'd just pulled the last worn tatter of rug out 
from beneath her.

*ohgodohgodohgodohgod*

Did she even know Mulder at all anymore? It was a struggle to reconcile the 
Mulder she was learning about with the man that she shared so much with. He 
had kept a path to her future in cryofreeze, allowing her to believe that 
she had no choices in that direction. He knew what that would mean to her. 
How could he have done that?

She needed some focus now though. She couldn't allow the twists of deception 
to cloud her mind. Like Scarletter O'hara, she couldn't think about any of 
that now. She needed to push it from her mind and concentrate on her 
testimony. She got up and rinsed her mouth at the sink.

"Scully are you ok?" She was cleaning her face up, holding a cold cloth to 
her eyes in hopes of not appearing upset.

"Get out of here, it's the lady's room."

"Can you hear my explanation?"

"No...No, I can't. I don't want to." Fury rose in her. "YOU WERE PLAYING GOD 
WITH MY LIFE! They took that from me, you kept it from me. That makes you no 
better than them." Her voice choked off to a croak. It was the worst thing 
she could have said to him and told of how badly she needed him to know she 
felt. She swiped at fresh tears. "I can't look at you right now...at least 
give me that!"

There was not too much more that he could say. He had to give her the space 
to deal with what she was feeling. He turned and walked out. Adam approached 
him.

"Everything okay?"

Mulder stared coldly down the hall to where CGB Spender was leaning against 
a doorway, staring back.

"It's nothing that a high-powered rifle and a clean shot wouldn't fix."

"Come on, they're reconvening."

They moved into the large room and found their seats again. Scully was 
nowhere to be seen. The chairman called people to order.

"Could Agent Scully please take the seat?" No one got up to approach the 
chair.

"Agent Scully?" he looked about the room. People were murmuring. Spender 
looked as comfortable as a fat cat on a cozy pillow. If he'd chosen that 
moment to smile, Mulder would have jumped over the chairs that seperated 
them and choked the man.

The door at the back opened and Scully walked in. Mulder breathed a sigh of 
relief. She looked perfectly composed. You'd have had to know her very well 
to sense that anything was wrong. She was the epitamy of composure.

They went through the preliminaries of identifying her credentials, the 
length of her involvement with the X-files and her general rank in the 
bureau. They asked her some fairly generic questions about her life. Then 
they got down into the dirt.

"You have no recollection of the events in the Antarctica?"

"No sir."

"You have no personal knowledge of the existance of extraterrestrials here 
on earth then?"

"Well, I wouldn't say that exactly. I have met someone whose capabilities I 
couldn't explain, who went by the name of John Winwood."

"This is the...uh...being that healed Senator McDougall?"

"Yes sir."

"And you saw this healing?"

"Yes sir."

"And as a doctor, what would your opinion be on how this was done?"

"I can't be sure how it was done sir. I just know what I saw and felt."

"Felt?"

"Yes sir. In the car on the way to get the Senator," she looked down at her 
hands, "he...um...he touched me and there was...like a current of 
electricity that passed through his hands." Mulder's eyes narrowed. "And 
when he touched the Senator, the gunshot wound just...disappeared. It was no 
longer there. I removed the tubing in his throat and he sat up."

"And this was the second time that you saw this then?"

"Yes sir."

"And what are your conclusions about this?"

"I am not sure that I can explain it. I believe that Winwood possesses some 
unique ability to heal."

"And do you believe that he is extraterrestrial then?"

"I believe that, yes," she said carefully.

The chairman was eyeing her suspiciously. Lies just didn't flow easily from 
Scully's mouth.

"You base this on what?"

"I base this on what I have heard and what I saw yesterday."

"What you've heard from Agent Mulder?"

"Yes sir."

"So your belief is based in your trust of him then."

"My belief is based on what I have seen as well as what I have been told by 
not only Agent Mulder, but Adam Roberts as well. I have no reason not to 
believe them." For some reason, the chairman was focusing more on the 
hearsay part than on what she'd seen.

The chairman was rifling through some papers now.

"You are on record as believing that the existance of aliens was a hoax 
perpetrated by the government."

"Yes sir, but that was a long time ago. I have come to believe that I was 
wrong. I believe that John Winwood was telling the truth. I *watched* him 
change his appearance. These are things that I can't explain any other way."

"And you believe Agent Mulder's testimony?"

"I believe that Agent Mulder is telling the truth, yes."

"By his own admission he deceived you into believing he died." She was 
suddenly feeling like she was defending not only him, but her own feelings 
of him.

"That still doesn't account for the testimony of the others here today. It 
doesn't address the issue of Senator McDougall's recovery." She was getting 
frustrated with the line of questioning. "Sir, what are we doing here? Agent 
Mulder shouldn't be the one in question. The only hard evidence you will get 
here today is sitting over there," she pointed to Senator McDougall.

Skinner wondered briefly if he maybe should have directed his "behave" 
speech at Scully instead of Mulder.

"Agent Scully, you have to understand that we are being expected to take his 
files and the word of a man whose identity doesn't exist for this government 
as concrete evidence here, we need to explore their credibility in order to 
do that."

Scully took a deep breath.

"There are blank parts to his files when it comes to the names of his 
sources. There is no way to verify his claims."

"He knows the difference between a conspiracy theorist and a good source. 
People only trust him because he would never reveal a source."

"Has he lied to you to protect his sources?"

"I would never have pushed for that knowledge."

"Has he lied to you about anything to the best of your knowledge?"

Scully paused.

"No."

The chairman stared at her. Mulder's face remained impassive, conceiling the 
inner turmoil he felt. He was struggling to make sense of her actions. She'd 
just lied to a panel appointed by the president to assess a situation 
critical to the government's further action. It wasn't a question of whether 
the lie was appropriate or not.  Mulder's mind flashed her face on the day 
he'd first met her. What was this all doing to her?

"Agent Mulder is well-known for his arrogance and paranoia, he..."

"If Agent Mulder is paranoid, it's for good reason sir. And as to his 
arrogance, I have seen him working on a thin thread of evidence and turn it 
into something actionable. His work is brilliant. Is it arrogant to know 
this about yourself?"

The chairman seemed at a loss for words.

"And the only encounters you've had with Adam Roberts involved his weaving a 
web of deceit for you. Is that correct?"

The chairman was making it all sound so dirty.

"When you are dealing with people whose very lives are Russian stacking 
dolls of lies, you sometimes need to play by their rules in order to gain 
the advantage."

Mulder could see that the questions were wearing on her. She was tough 
though and holding up. His own patience was waning. They'd been there for 
over six hours already. He was glad when almost an hour later, things seemed 
to wrap up.

"Agent Scully, we'd like to thank you for your input."

She started to get up, then stopped and readressed the panel.

"We *are* right. Some of the men sitting here have conspired against all of 
us, using the government as a cover, to advance their own interests. These 
men don't exist. You won't find a concrete evidence trail to convict them in 
any court of law. But we are right."

She spoke earnestly and with great conviction. The panel heads stared at 
her. A most convincing lie, considering the fact that Mulder knew that deep 
down she still wasn't reconciling the truth with the explanation she gave 
the panel. He knew somewhere deep down, she still believed it was all 
genetic mutations and human conspiracies. Unless it was explained for her 
scientifically, she wasn't fully on board.

Mulder could tell that the panel members were heavily considering her words. 
They passed a few private comments between them, then the chairman spoke 
again.

"We will take another short break and meet here again in ten minutes for our 
decision."

==============================

Adam approached her first.

"You were the turning point for us here today. You lent credibility to our 
cause. Thank you." Scully just nodded blankly.

Mulder approached her with veiled eyes.

"Why?" he asked her quietly, studying her face and realizing that she was a 
veritable swiss army knife of capabilities.

"I guess that I have learned a thing or two over the years."

He stared at her as she walked away towards the hallway. He tried to make 
sense of what she could be thinking.

"She's quite full of surprises, wouldn't you say?"

Mulder turned to find himself staring at his nemesis.

"To have her cover for you with a blatant lie. I wouldn't have expected that 
of her. I can see that I've underestimated her," then he smiled and added, 
"or had a most wonderful effect on her."

Fury rose crimson in Mulder's face. When he would have swung out at 
Cancerman, Adam stepped between them, securely grabbing Mulder's wrist and 
blocking his view of Spender. His jaw was set in a challenge. He wasn't 
going to let Mulder walk into that one.

"Back off, it's what he wants. Don't do this here. It could only hurt us and 
help him."

With that, he pushed Mulder away. Skinner kept him moving towards their 
seats again to wait on the committee's return. Adam turned back towards 
Morleyman. He scratched his forehead thoughtlessly, pondering the man.

"The only thing a man that doesn't exist has to fear is another man that 
doesn't exist. I have no job to lose, no life to lose. If they let you go, I 
won't," he spoke the promise casually.

Just as everyone was returning to their seats, soldiers poured in to fill 
the room. They pushed Scully back in along with a few of the others who had 
stepped out. Everyone looked around to find themselves flanked by 
high-powered rifles. Their own weapons had been confiscated before they 
entered. They shared troubled glances. Mulder estimated that there were 
between 40 and 50 guards lining the walls and surrounding the 50 or so 
people present. He started to get up when one of the guards directed him to 
sit back down.

The panel re-entered the room. They were not surprised to see the soldiers. 
The chairman spoke.

"We have decided that this matter needs further review. We will take a look 
at the files provided by Agent Mulder, as well as the evidence provided by 
the Bureau on the actions of the military at the Carroll County compound. 
With the exception of the men seated along that wall and the ones at this 
table, everyone will be taken into custody" the room broke into panicked 
murmurs "pending our decision on this matter. We will reconvene at 9 a.m. 
tomorrow."

The room was in an uproar. The soldiers moved in to seperate the group, 
taking Cancerman and his cronies into custody.

"On what grounds can you do this?!"

Mulder hadn't seen such a beautiful sight in a while. Spender being hauled 
off to spend the night in cold storage was just about enough to warm the 
cockles of his heart. He was quite sure that they would confiscate his 
cigarettes. And that was a pleasant thought.

"They will be held beneath the law, military jurisdiction," McDougall 
chuckled. "I doubt that the decision will play out any differently in the 
morning. The rest of us will be placed under house arrest till tomorrow's 
meeting. More as a security measure than anything. We need to address the 
problem once again. We need to gather everyone and figure out how we can end 
this. The upper Council members will be meeting shortly after the outcome is 
announced."

The Senator did a round of political hand-shaking. He was nearly bursting 
with pride. McDougall seemed to know that things would turn out for them. 
Mulder imagined that this had been his vindication and that he would come 
out smelling like a rose. That wasn't too bad, considering that he was one 
of the so-called good guys. It was about time things turned.

====================================

They arrived back at the brownstone tired. Skinner had been none too pleased 
at having to spend the night there. Like the rest of them, he tolerated it. 
He couldn't figure out what was going on between his star agents though. He 
watched them in the car on the way back. They sat next to one another, but 
hardly shared a glance. That was just out of character for them considering 
that this was the culmination of years of work for them. It seemed to be 
more than just exhaustion. Scully looked upset and Mulder just looked 
guilty.

Skinner had thought about their relationship over the years. It seemed to be 
built on a mutual respect and passion for their work. That was about where 
their similarities ended though. He never realistically entertained the 
thought that they were more than friends and partners. They were just too 
different. Aside from that, there was never any indication of the usual 
tension that surfaces from time to time between lovers. That is, until now.

Mulder followed her into the brownstone. Adam showed them to their rooms. 
There were six rooms that had been furnished with cots. Mulder would be 
sharing a room with Adam and Skinner. Scully, being the only woman, would 
have a room of her own.

Adam recounted the events to his crew as everyone ate a late dinner. Scully 
had been noticeably absent. The conversation became quite animated as they 
began discussing the ship once again. Case and Stick were focusing on the 
pipe in the ship and what the chemistry of the virus was like. Mulder stayed 
fairly quiet.

He didn't really care what Skinner would think, when the house settled for 
the night, he went to Scully's door. He opened it and stole quietly in.

"Don't you knock?!"

The room was dark, Scully was in bed already.

"I would have, but you wouldn't have let me in."

"That would be the point of knocking Mulder, to give me a choice."

"You didn't have anything to eat."

"Did you come in here out of some misguided sense of concern for the 
contents of my stomach?"

"I need you to hear me out."

"I know that's what you need. But it's not what I need. I already know why 
you did what you did."

Mulder sat down on the edge of the cot. She was so near and yet so far away. 
"I don't believe this will break us Scully. This is something that we have 
to talk through, fight through...whatever. I just want to get through this."

"Mulder, you want to be put out of your misery. I am not sure that I can do 
that, or even if I want to at this point. I know you. I know your motives. I 
just don't agree with them. You made a choice for me when you let me believe 
that I had no choice. I don't know that I would have chosen that path, but 
the point is that you made that decision for me. And that just speaks to the 
issue of respect, or lack of it."

"I know how important respect is to you..."

"It's not just important to me, Mulder, it's important to everyone."

"When I first found the vial, I went to the hospital fully intending to give 
it to you. But...just looking at you Scully....your life was in turmoil. You 
didn't need another reminder of what had been done to you.

"The journal you wrote....you wrote to me, in it you spoke about what you 
wanted more than anything. You talked about our search for the truth. In my 
mind, I was storing it for the day that you were well and able to handle 
that decision in a proper context. I thought that I was protecting you. And 
then time just went by and .... it was wrong of me to have kept it from you. 
It was never my intention to take that from you."

"Is that the entirety of your explanation?" It didn't even speak to the 
issue at hand.

Mulder twisted his hands, trying to sort out the rest of what he had to say. 
His voice was hoarse as he tried to get out the last of his thoughts.

"In some ways, I was acting childish. I didn't want you to take that path, 
to leave the X-files..." Scully made a conscious effort to steel herself 
through what was being said, it was her only respite from the turmoil. "The 
truth was out there, but I needed you to help me find it...you're the only 
one who's believed in me...stood by me and supported me. You're my family, 
you're all I have. I was wrong, but I don't want to lose you over this..." 
He laid his head down on her stomach. He was softly begging for her 
understanding.  "I've wronged you in a way that I can never make up for. I 
am just asking that you can see past that and know that I did it for reasons 
that I thought were right at the time."

Part of her was angry that he was putting the burden on her to relieve his 
guilt. She didn't want to do this. She just couldn't now. Too much had gone 
on in the last few weeks. She needed some space to figure out where she was 
in all of this, where she wanted to be.

"I need you to leave Mulder. You have to give me some time. I don't know how 
to deal with these feelings. It's been too much at once."

After a while, he sat up again. He'd been crying. She could see him nod 
acceptance in the dark. A few minutes later he got up and left.

Only then could she let her own tears fall.

==================================

They were surprised when the meeting got underway again. There were only 
thirteen of them sitting around a table. All they needed was a carpenter's 
cup and some bread. The panel members were there, although Mulder still 
didn't know exactly who they were. None of the syndicate members were 
present.

"We've looked over most of what is in your files Agent Mulder. You've done a 
thorough job detailing everything in them." No one was more surprised at 
that comment than Skinner. Mulder wasn't exactly known for his ability to 
inform his superiors.

"While the details seem incredulous on the surface, in light of the events 
of the last three days and the testimony offered here, we can do nothing but 
accept what you've written at face value." There seemed to be a collective 
sigh of relief breathed then, although no sound accompanied it. "We are 
going to see the men involved punished along with making some 
recommendations for further action. The Council is still in place and under 
your direction Senator. We're proposing you continue with this and deal with 
the matter in a way that you consider prudent. With time being a factor, 
we've had to rush things here and won't keep you. I've been told that they 
are awaiting all of you for a meeting with the President's advisors." With 
that, the entire panel rose in unison to leave.

"Wait a minute. Make recommendations to whom? At what point are these men 
going to be tried for their actions?" No one stopped to answer Mulder's 
question. Adam grabbed his arm, telling him to stop just as he would have 
followed them into the hall. Mulder could only shake his head.

"People need to know this. Otherwise it gives license for this to happen 
again and again. Those that don't learn from history are doomed to repeat 
it."

He looked over at Scully. She was still digesting what this would mean for 
all of them.

"Are you still on board?" Adam asked of her.

"Yes, of course, I will help in anyway I can." Adam seemed truly pleased by 
this. Although Mulder was glad she would stay on, he couldn't help but feel 
jealous of the way words were flowing between the two of them at a time when 
their own relationship was so strained.

=================================

By the time the day had ended, they had sat through a total of 17 hours of 
meetings over two days and they were all exhausted. Scully was just grateful 
to be able to go back to her own home. Visions of hot water and fresh 
clothing tickled her mind as she entered. She undressed as the tub ran hot. 
She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror as she headed for the tub.

She'd never given her body a whole lot of thought. She'd gone through the 
usual self-criticisms and admirations over the years. But as she stood there 
looking at herself, she tried to imagine what Mulder saw when he looked at 
her. Her waist was small. Her breasts weren't large by any means, but she 
thought that they were fine. She decided that she was too thin. The last few 
days had been spent in turmoil and that hadn't had a good effect on her 
appetite.

She dipped herself into the bath allowing the soothing warmth to overtake 
her. Sheer exhaustion claimed her and she soon found herself drifting 
asleep. It had taken her a long time to be able to get into a bath after the 
night Donnie Pfaster had visited. Sometimes it was still hard for her to 
burn a candle while she soaked. But she'd been determined, Pfaster wasn't 
going to take that from her.

She pulled herself from the tub and began to towel off. Her mind drifted to 
that time not so long ago.

She remembered the look on Mulder's face after she shot Pfaster. His eyes 
had been so unbelieving, she couldn't tell if there was disappointment in 
them or not...she had imagined that it was there in any case. Maybe she'd 
just been too hard on herself then. Maybe she was just being too hard on 
Mulder now.  Theirs was not a typical profession, nor did they have a 
typical relationship.

All in all though, she just wasn't sure how things were going to go. She'd 
given up so much of herself into his world. She didn't want to give anymore. 
  Maybe it was even time she took some of that back. If only she knew who 
she was and what it was that she was trying to reclaim.

She loved her life. There was no two ways about it. Monsters, mutants, 
aliens and all. She loved the challenge and push to reason she was 
confronted with. The question really became then, did she want to continue 
working with him? Her mind shouted a resounding "yes" to that question. 
Mulder was what made the journey worth it all.

*Mulder*

What did he mean to her? Could she see though this? In so many ways she felt 
like he was a child. He wanted his world a certain way and there wasn't much 
anyone could do to dissuade him on that. He wanted her to fit into that 
world in a certain way as well. It confused and hurt him when she wouldn't 
conform. He'd been protecting himself against her leaving him.

She understood where that reasoning came from in some ways. His own parents 
had been cruel and distant from him. From the snippets of information she'd 
gathered about them and from Mrs. Mulder, she had learned that his father 
had blamed him for Samantha's disappearance.  His mother was simply the 
queen of denial. She would never allow him the peace of mind that he so 
desperately needed. He rarely let anyone into his inner world anymore, 
besides Scully. At times he even shut her out of that. His intense fear of 
rejection built a veritable fortress around him. She didn't know that she 
could let what he'd done slip by though even with that understanding of him. 
She had to think about herself at some point. The trouble was, he was so 
much a part of her that when he hurt, she did too.

She set a match to the wood in the fireplace and settled her floor cushions 
around her for comfort. She opened a bottle of wine, made herself some 
crackers and cheese and sat down in front of the fire.  She loved to read 
like that. Tonight though, she couldn't get into her book. She just sat 
staring at the flames and thought about her complex life some more. She 
thought about how much Mulder meant to her and how empty she'd felt when she 
thought he'd been gone for good. She didn't want that to end. She reached 
for her phone. When his machine picked up, she just hung up. Just then, 
there was a knock on the door.

"Hey, I was in the neighborhood and thought that I would drop by and ask if 
I'd left my jacket here."

She silently went into her bedroom and returned with the coat. He looked at 
her more than a little surprised, she avoided his gaze. The coat had been an 
excuse, in truth he thought that he'd left it in the blown-to-smitherines 
car.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah Mulder, I'm fine." He stood there in the doorway, just nodding his 
head and trying to think of another way to prolong the conversation. They 
shared an awkward moment. Scully realized that as much as he did, she wanted 
to work through everything. She stepped to the side as a way of inviting him 
in. He stepped through the door.

"Told you I'd be back," he said. She wasn't as amused at his attempt at 
humor as he would have liked.  They were standing in the exact position 
they'd been in the night he'd gone. She was in the same bathrobe he'd 
reached into that night, although his trenchcoat was missing. They both just 
stood there, not quite sure what to say.

Mulder wanted to be near her, just to feel the way he did when she was 
around. The dynamics in the room just seemed to change when he took a step 
closer. He realized suddenly why she'd had his coat. Again he was whipped 
with the guilt stick. But she wasn't the one doing the flogging, this was 
pure self-recrimination.

"You kept my coat." The thought was sinking in.

He was looking at her more reverently than anything, almost as though he 
hadn't ever seen her before that moment. That wasn't too far from the truth. 
If there was ever any doubt, it was gone now. Scully loved him. She loved 
him deeply.

He reached for her hand. He gave it a quick squeeze. He just wanted her to 
know that he was there for her. She didn't look up at him - but she didn't 
pull her hand away either. He moved closer to her. He couldn't help but 
close his eyes and just allow himself to feel her with every cell in his 
body. Her presence was intoxicating. He could smell the wonderful smell of 
her hair, the subtle shiver he felt at her mere proximity. Was this 
chemistry?

He felt her other hand close over the one that held his jacket and he opened 
his eyes. She looked at him with a sobriety that made his heart ache. Her 
eyes held longing, understanding, forgiveness, wonder and love all mixed in 
a kaleidescope of emotion.

She held his heart right there in the palm of her hand.

He closed the distance between their lips, needing to consume her. She 
returned his kiss with ardour. He drew life from her lips. He took all that 
she was offering. They both shared a hopeful look when they parted.

"Are you hungry? I....have a little campfire picnic going on here" she said 
somewhat awkwardly.

He smiled a reply and took off his shoes. He headed for the fireplace, she 
went into the kitchen and returned with another glass. She poured in some 
wine and handed it to him. They didn't speak for a long time, both just 
sipping at their wine, lost in their thoughts.

"You know Mulder, forgiveness is a process. I understand why you did what 
you did. I guess that I just don't always agree with your reasoning." He 
looked at her as she stared into the fire. "You profile people all the time 
and you see who they are and understand them better than they do themselves. 
There are times though when I wonder whether you know who I am or if you 
even see me at all."

"I do see you, more than you know."

He looked down at his glass, staring at it intently as if he could analyze 
its contents.

"I don't know if you realize it Scully, but you are the only thing that 
keeps me grounded to the human race. In some ways I feel like more of an 
alien than the creatures I've been looking for. I don't know where I would 
be without you. It isn't only about the X-files. It's about how I feel with 
you, how you lend life to my existance. I wouldn't be where I am today 
without you...not professionally, although certainly that, but I am talking 
about as a person. There are times when your name seems more like a prayer 
to me. I believe that you complete me." He dared a look up then.

Scully was looking right through the window into his soul. She was touched 
by what she saw. She knew that soft, intimate words didn't come easily to 
him. She knew how afraid he was about daring to love anyone. She could see 
how important she was to him and how his words were truth.

She set her glass down and moved closer to him. He was still staring at his 
glass when she took it out of his fingers and placed it with hers. He was 
propped up on one elbow against her oversized cushions, his dress shirt 
rolled up at the sleeves. She was now mirroring his position. They looked 
deep into one another's eyes.

Then Scully sat up. For a minute Mudler was afraid that she was moving away, 
but she stopped, unfastened her robe and let it fall from her shoulders. She 
watched his face as she unbuttoned her pyjama top. His eyes were a haziness 
of desire as she shrugged it off. She lifted her hips to shed the last piece 
of clothing from her beautiful body. In the glow of the fire, he could see 
the perfect texture of her skin. When he could finally drag his eyes off her 
body and up to her face, what he saw there surprised him. This was Scully 
undressed in every sense of the word. He was mesmerized.

She reached down to his neck and unfastened his tie. She worked the buttons 
on his shirt until she could run her hand inside. Their eyes never waivered 
from one another as her fingers traced across his chest to one of his tight 
nipples. She never ceased to amaze him. She undressed him slowly, piece by 
piece. He believed that it was the most erotic seduction in the history of 
mankind. There was no escaping the enormity of his desire as he lay there 
next to her. When he would have reciprocated her touch, she gently pushed 
him back onto the cushion.

When she finally set her lips to his body, he could have melted with the 
sheer anticipation of it all. She played light feather kisses across his 
chest. When she reached one of his nipples and deepened the intimacy he 
gasped at the shivers it sent down to the core of his being. She teased at 
it for a moment, then trailed her tongue down the line of hair on his belly. 
  She took him into her mouth in one long movement. The electric feeling was 
incredible. Her mouth was a searing heat that sent ripples of pleasure 
throughout his body. She sucked gently, moving her mouth up and down his 
length. Her tongue teased at the head with every thrust. Each movement of 
her tongue against his stiff shaft elicited a soft moan from him. He could 
feel the point of sanity moving past quickly. It took every ounce of 
strength he could muster to stop her.

"Not like that," he breathed. He had grabbed her shoulders and was in 
control again. He wanted their lovemaking to go on. He pushed her onto her 
back, blanketing her with his body. His hands found her breasts. He 
carefully kneeded them as his thumbs played across her firm nipples, 
savoring the moment. He lowered his mouth to one, sucking and nipping gently 
at the tip. As he sucked and played with one pink nipple, his fingers found 
the core of her womanhood. He stroked her clit before moving his hand down 
towards her opening. She was wet with desire. She gasped as he insisted one 
finger, then two inside her. She moved her hips against his hand. His thumb 
stroked her clit with the same motion that drove his fingers inside her. 
Mulder couldn't help but watch her face as he brought her closer to orgasm. 
Her brow was slightly furrowed with intensity.  She was biting down on her 
bottom lip in concentration. He could see in her face the exact moment she 
came just as much as he could feel it with his fingers. She exhaled out a 
shocked "oh my god" as the waves of pleasure subsided.

He moved up a little so that they were face to face. She looked at him, her 
rapturous face was beautiful. He lowered his lips to hers. He bit gently on 
her bottom lip before passion consumed him and his tongue moved to search 
her mouth. The deep kiss was passionate and soul-searching. He couldn't wait 
anymore, animal instinct took over and he buried his throbbing member deep 
inside her. She moaned as he began to move in the tight, slick space that 
she was. They moved urgently towards their goal. Their breathing matched 
their rhythm.

Her fingers raked his back as she reached her summit. Being prepared and 
knowing her better now, he was able to go over the edge with her, both of 
them lost in a series of passionate gasps and groans of sheer pleasure. They 
both appreciated the rarity of their timing and enjoyed the sensations as 
the waves subsided.

Their bodies were soaked from a mixture of their passion and the heat of the 
fireplace. They stayed in their embrace, their breathing gradually returned 
to normal. When Scully looked up at him, he kissed her with a definition 
that she didn't miss. She watched as he moved to her side. The fire was 
casting a bright glow on his misted face. He had one of his arms draped over 
his forehead, a gesture of exhaustion. He was a beautiful man. She could 
easily drown in his eyes. His lips were oh-so-kissable. She thought about 
how he'd told her that he loved her. She reached over and pulled one of the 
cushions under their heads. He lowered his arm and opened his eyes.

"I love you too," the words came out of Scully's mouth.

========================================

Mulder was running along a dark passageway. He could hear her calling him. 
Her voice was loud but somehow small and terrified. Her words were the same 
ones he'd heard on his answering machine so long ago.

"Mulder, I need your help!"

He had heard those words in as many nights as she'd been gone before. Now he 
could hear those word over and over again as he ran. There was no light in 
the tunnel as he ran. Behind him, something was closing in on him in the 
darkness. Ahead of him, he could hear her. He just couldn't make his body 
move fast enough. Desperation filled her voice.

"Mulder!!"

"Scullllllay!"

Her voice was fading, he couldn't keep up with it. Suddenly the ground 
disappeared from beneath him and he was falling fast.

He awoke with a start. A small sound escaped his mouth.

"Mulder?" came her sleepy voice. She seemed to understand what had happened 
before he could figure it out. "Mulder, it was a dream. Are you okay?"

He was in her bed and she was next to him. It took a moment for him to get 
hold of his breathing. The feeling of sheer terror was slow to fade though. 
He looked over in the darkness at her clock. It was  3:04 a.m. He pushed a 
sigh out of his mouth.

"Yeah, go back to sleep."

"Are you going to be able to? Want to talk about it?"

"No, it's nothing. Let's get some sleep."

He knew that he wouldn't though. He knew that his dreams always seemed to 
presage events that he had no control over. He sorely wanted to go running. 
His lack of proper attire and feelings about how Scully would perceive it 
stopped him. So, he did the only other thing that could have chased away his 
demons. He reached for her.

In a way that only men seem to understand, making love to a woman somehow 
made everything alright in the world. He appreciated that she seemed to 
understand this. They made love easily. Scully drifted back off to sleep 
nestled in his arms. It was the only way he could have gotten any more rest 
himself.

By 3:40 a.m. he was fully asleep again.

==============================

The group were moved to yet another location. This time it was to a complex 
where they could get rewired into the system. It was above ground at Fort 
McNair. Not a whole lot had been salvaged from the compound, but they had 
been given cart blanche on the project which was a necessity, as time was 
running out. They were backed up by a group of people and technology that 
could've put the space program to shame. The time for fixing their problem 
had begun and they were all chomping at the bit.

The sample container that Mulder had picked up at the ship was sitting empty 
on the table in the middle of their new meeting room. Everyone in their 
small group was present, along with four very decorated military officers. 
They seemed out of place in the unlikely pack. Mulder noticed that Stick 
seemed to have made a full recovery, he was back to his usual fidgeting 
self. Case even managed a smile, which couldn't have been easy for him. They 
were all focused and alert. Adam began.

"The sample Mulder retrieved from the ship has been analyzed, it would 
appear that our alien friends have found a way to keep the virus effective 
and functional in water. We can't confirm that it won't transmit by 
ingestion. This presents a unique problem. They could easily transmit it all 
through any water supply and there would be little we could do about it. 
General McGrath, what options are available?"

The General gladly jumped in, all military. "Well, I would suggest direct 
and simultaneous assaults on the ships. At this point, it doesn't seem very 
likely that we can find the information gathered on their propulsion 
system." Indeed the Syndicate had covered its tracks on that one. "That 
would make nuclear missile strikes unadvisable. There would just be too many 
environmental variables. How certain are we that these six ships are the 
only ones on the planet?" He addressed this to Adam.

"We know that they emit a low-frequency transmission that acts as a blanket 
of cover for them, effectively blocking out radio signals. We can find the 
blankets easily enough. However, they're indistinguishable from certain 
geographical areas that occur naturally on earth. Years of work went into 
following up on the possibilities. Our own data is not inconsistent with the 
Syndicate's in that regard, although we did find one that they didn't. Once 
we found them, they were easy enough to keep track of. Your men have 
confirmed that they are still right where we left them."

Case piped in. "Then taking them out should be easy. I mean, it's an in and 
out job."

"Except that direct airborn assault might not work. And if you got a team of 
men inside, once they know about it there's nothing stopping them from 
taking their ships and moving, men and all and forcing our hand into an 
all-out war if you can't neutralize them in time. Planting an explosive 
device could cause some serious unintended consequences, we don't know what 
technology we are blowing up."

"What choice do we have General?"

General Stafford interceded. "I believe that we need to contain this as much 
as possible. I would agree that strikes need to be made and chances taken. 
We can minimize the risk by vaccinating before the strikes." He turned to 
look at Scully. "Is everything in the works for the vaccine? What's our time 
table looking like?"

Scully cleared her throat. "The intelligence we have tells us that the alien 
race is going to move in thirteen days. The vaccine has been in constant 
mass production for months apparently. I've been told that everything is 
proceeding and that distribution across the country and internationally is 
commencing as we talk. I would advise at this point though to vaccinate 
parts of the armed forces immediately."

"We can do that all in good time. We can't take the risk of alien 
intelligence knowing what we are doing. The vaccinations must happen 
simultaneously, all within two days or so."

Scully was puzzled by this.

"I can understand the need for secrecy, but you don't know how people are 
going to respond to the vaccine. Most people have some reaction or another 
to vaccination. I wouldn't advise you to do it to all of your military 
personel at the same time if it can be helped sir."

"I will take that under advisement." Stafford brushed her off. Scully sat 
stunned by his words. She wasn't going to let that go. "Now, if..."

"General, this is not something you want to negotiate. I am telling you that 
vaccinating your entire armed forces simultaneously is a huge mistake. You 
would be taking an unnecessary risk. We don't know enough about what we are 
dealing with."

Mulder was proud of her. She was strong and stood up to anyone fearlessly. 
He didn't want her standing alone though and she was right.

"I agree with her. Staggering the innoculations would be advisable under the 
circumstances. It doesn't make any sense to do it any other way," Mulder 
piped in.

"Might I remind you that your group is here in an advisory capacity only and 
that this falls under military jurisdiction?" Stafford challenged. Mulder's 
lack of faith in the military renewed itself.

The compound crew all muttered things to one another and to themselves. Adam 
couldn't stay quiet, the ghosts of his friends seemed to scream at the 
injustice.

"Might *I* remind you that you have come into a project that we have been 
working on since long before you had any rank to pull!? *Most* of us are 
second generation project associates. *Most* of us have lost family to the 
alien force already, not to mention to our own military's involvement. These 
people have risked their reputations and given up their lives for this! I 
think some respect is in order here!"

"Ok, that's enough. Everyone needs to settle down a bit here," General 
McGrath inserted. "We can't afford to be divided here. We all have our jets 
facing the same direction. How about this: I propose that we give Agent 
Scully a squadron of men to vaccinate and she can assess the results and 
we'll go from there on this. Is that do-able Agent?" Scully nodded, somewhat 
resigned.

"Fine, then let's get to that then. The rest of us can hammer out an assault 
that would annihilate the alien threat." Scully got up to work on her task.

General Stafford followed her out into the hall. "I am sorry that we didn't 
agree. Here's the number for a Colonel Mills." He handed her a card. "He's 
got a squadron of seventy men that would be good candidates. I will arrange 
to have the vaccine be there when you arrive and give you the details. I'll 
go call him now." He turned and walked off in the direction of the new 
offices, apparently to make some calls.

Scully just stood there holding the card, somehow feeling like they were 
being dealed out of the game. This didn't make any sense to her. At least 
not strategically. She hated the way military personnel pushed their weight 
around. Within two minutes, Stafford returned.

"I have arranged a driver out front to take you to Fort Richie. The 
vaccination will be there tomorrow. You should head straight there and set 
yourself up." He turned and walked off.

Scully had clearly been dismissed. She didn't like the feeling of that. If 
she'd been raised in any normal home, she might have followed his directions 
to the letter. But she had long since known that military men put their 
pants on one leg at a time. They didn't intimidate her.

Maybe it was being a base brat, maybe it was all the years with Mulder, but 
she wasn't going to work by his time table.

Mulder appeared in front of her.

"How are you going to handle this?"

She was glad that he had come out. She wouldn't admit it to herself, but she 
needed the emotional support. The way he'd phrased it was indicative of his 
confidence in her. She appreciated that under the circumstances. She wasn't 
exactly sure that General Stafford was wrong, just inflated with power. It 
had become a race to see who was going to be given credit for saving the 
world. No one in that room except the military officers cared much about 
that, they just wanted it saved.

"I am going to do what you've taught me all these years. I am going to do 
things my own way. Starting with the vaccine. I am going to the distribution 
center at C.E.A. pharmaceuticals and getting my own vials and driving to the 
base myself."

"I do believe that I have been a bad influence on you Agent Scully," Mulder 
mocked in his best backwoods southern accent. They shared a smile.  He grew 
more serious. "It's not just me then? General Stafford's jet's really 
pointing the other way?" She just smiled at his remark. "He's reinforced the 
theory for me that bureaucrats are promoted to their level of incompetance."

"I don't trust anyone Mulder."

His eyes melted warmth. He reached out and tucked an errant strand of hair 
behind her ear.

"Not even me?"

She wouldn't even have to answer, it was entirely apparent in her eyes. She 
looked hard at him and felt her next words from the bottom of her heart.

"Only you."

He wanted to take her in his arms and relay with a kiss the gymnastics his 
heart was doing. More than anything though, he needed to respect her public 
distance. Respect was ground zero for building their feelings on. He 
playfully adjusted her lapel that didn't really need the attention.

"Don't forget your cell phone, I might need some hand holding through this," 
he teased, motioning back towards the meeting room. She smiled knowingly.

Then she turned and headed off on her own route to Fort Richie.

=================================

The supply of the vaccine sat on the seat next to her. She had no trouble 
getting it from the C.E.A. distribution site in D.C. They'd seemed very well 
organized. The syringes and vials were coupled at the source. It did make 
some sense that the vaccines would be given within a few days of each other. 
If the alien race discovered their intentions, they would bump up their 
plans and have the world filtering water on into perpetuity. And they simply 
didn't know that all of the Syndicate had been rounded up for sure.

When she arrived at the base later that evening, she was waved through the 
gate almost automatically. Colonel Mills was something of a surprise. He was 
a direct contrast to General Stafford. He was warm and personable. His 
cooperation was not only going to make the entire process easier, but 
pleasant as well. He reminded Scully of her father.

The base itself seemed like little more than an outpost. The squadron and a 
few jet fighters were all there was to it. It was a training base and not an 
operations post. She could see why Stafford had picked it. It was fairly 
isolated and there were no families living there. These were some of the 
best of the best fighter pilots on land exercises between manuevers. The 
timing couldn't have been more perfect.

She was treated to some first class chivalry. The men hadn't had leave in 
three weeks, she was told. She was enjoying herself listening to their 
stories and good-natured flirting over dinner. They would begin first thing 
in the morning when the rest of the squad returned to the base from a field 
exercise.

Just as she was settling in for the night, the familiar shrill of her cell 
phone insinuated itself into her thoughts.

"Scully."

"Scully, it's me...are you riding the testosterone wave ok?"

She smiled. "I'll suffer through it. How are things going down there?"

"Well...Stafford is a royal pain in the ass. They're going to do what they 
are going to do regardless of how Adam or I or anyone for that matter feels 
about it. They are closing in on a strategy though. Could work."

They both knew that they couldn't take the chance of being overheard, so 
they didn't get into details.

"That's good to know. How's Adam holding up? Is he being smothered by all 
the brass in the room?"

"He's holding up with the best of them...I didn't know you cared."

She gave a small chuckle. "He seems nice. Very focused on the project."

"Yeah, yeah he is....so what time are you going to come home tomorrow?"

"I'm going to head out just as soon as I can. The Colonel is arranging for 
all of the base personnel to be vaccinated first thing in the morning. 
Ninety three in all."

"Well, you must be in heaven then. Ninety three muscular arms to feel."

Scully smiled.

"Good night Mulder."

"Will you be coming to McNair when you get in?"

"Only if you've managed to turn around Stafford's jet."

"Consider it done. Good night Scully."

She clicked off her phone. It was a rare occasion when they actually 
included a parting phrase before they hung up. She smiled to herself as she 
reached up and turned off the light.

=======================================

The morning went well. The vaccinations took less than an hour start to 
finish. The magnitude of the project hit her again. Vaccinating every human 
being would be one of the biggest man-made projects in the history of the 
world. She hoped that C.E.A and its affiliates could do the job it promised. 
The world was riding on it.

Back at McNair, she was just in time to join the crew for an early supper. 
Her stomach had been treating her well for the most part today, so she felt 
safe to eat. From the conversation she caught that Adam was feeling a little 
out of the loop. She felt badly for him. It had to feel bad that his work 
was being taken over by people who hadn't put in the hours. She'd felt that 
way when Diana Fowley and Jeffrey Spender had taken over their X-files.

"Adam, from what you know about the virus, does the vaccine work for 
extended periods of time? Should I be re-vaccinating myself?"

"Well...to tell you the truth, we've never tested it. Our research was not 
medical. We usually contracted anything like that out."

"Or stole it," added Case.

"Or stole it," conceded Adam.

"And you've all been vaccinated? When was that done?"

"Oh...I would say about a year ago, just after the vaccine became available. 
Mulder was done just prior to our hit to the ship."

"Would you mind if I took a blood sample from you?" she asked. She wanted to 
compare hers with theirs and examine it against Mulder's for effectiveness.

"Oh Scully you just haven't lost the social grace of dinnertime 
conversation," Mulder added almost under his breath. She ignored him.

"I'd like to do that right after dinner." Adam nodded his assent.

It was strange for him to be sitting in the same room with Scully. Their 
conversation was easy, and that didn't happen at all to him. Adam had all 
but lost his socialization skills during his adult life. Maybe it was 
because of all they did share that they could talk so easily. He knew that 
Mulder wasn't as appreciative of their relationship though. That only 
slightly amused him.

Here he was looking at the woman who had cradled his dying father's head as 
he spoke his last words to her. He found that he liked her very much. They 
liked one another, it couldn't get much more basic than that. He knew that 
it wouldn't ever be anything more than friendship now, but that was okay by 
him. He liked being with her. Her friendship meant alot. And here they were 
in a small office preparing to draw blood. Mulder was still out with Case.

Adam watched as Scully set up the syringe kit. He rolled up his sleeve for 
her to tie off his arm.

"You know Dana..." he began slowly, "I have never really had the chance to 
apologize for what we put you through."

"That's probably not a subject we want to get to when you're sitting with 
your vein exposed and I am holding something sharp."

He smiled. "I trust you."

She looked up to see that he did, the realization took her a little aback. 
She knew that Mulder and Adam shared a good connection. She liked that. 
Mulder really didn't have many friends. Not many people understood him and 
Adam seemed to. She just offered a small smile in return.

When she was done, she labeled the vial. Adam placed his hand on her arm.

"I mean it though. I really am sorry about what you had to go through."

She looked at him. He thoroughly meant it. She was touched by the simplicity 
of his words. The tangle of emotions she'd been feeling since that night 
forever ago just seemed to surface. She blinked back the extra water in her 
eyes.

"Sometimes you have to do what you have to do. I was aware of the game these 
men were playing. It wasn't fair and we were all just scrambling to finish." 
It was her way of saying "I forgive you" without actually having to say it. 
They shared a meaningful look. Mulder picked that moment to come in.

"My turn?" Scully turned too quickly and fiddled mindlessly with her kit. 
Adam got up and left the room without making eye contact.

"Did I interrupt something?" She ignored the question and prepared his arm 
for the sample. Okay...tread lightly here be monsters, his mind flashed.

"It's good to see your appetite back." She didn't miss the double entendre 
of that one.

"Must have been all those muscular arms on the base," she commented. "I'm 
going to drive to Quantico and do these tests tonight."

"What are you hoping to prove with the tests? Why not just vaccinate our 
small group again. It couldn't hurt could it?"

"I'm nervous about using something I don't know enough about carelessly. The 
vaccine may only be a dead form of the virus but I wish that I knew more 
about this one. I'm going to run over and do these up tonight."

==================================

There was a vein of thought that Mulder and Adam had been too preoccupied 
since their shipwalk to think about. Karl Drake/Martin Klass. It didn't 
appear that there was much to it all, but they were feeling pretty useless 
in the military rank, so it seemed like a good place to go. McDougall hadn't 
worked on it and seemed perturbed that they were choosing to follow it up 
now. But there was little else for them to do but play the waiting game. 
Everything was left to the powers that be to innoculate everyone and crush 
the villains.

They opted to take their investigation back to the gunmen. As they pulled up 
outside, Adam got the notion that he would have more trouble getting inside 
this time than he had the last time. Mulder reassured him that he'd called 
and let them in on his little life detour.

"Well...as I live and breathe, Lazarus is back boys!" chimed Frohike.

"Just call me Saint," came the snide reply.

They entered the familiar bachelor pad cum tech warehouse. Frohike addressed 
Adam.

"How'd you do it?" Adam shared a smile at Langly's question but offered 
nothing. "I am impressed, we didn't figure it out, and we were looking! I 
told them not to believe it!"

They all exchanged some warm pleasantries. The boys were glad to have their 
playmate back. They included Adam in a way he'd been excluded in his last 
visit. He supposed it had to do with the fact that he'd shown them some 
pretty good moves. In short, they were impressed by what he'd managed at the 
compound.

"Where's Scully?" Of course, this came from Frohike.

Just as Mulder was opening his mouth to answer, his cell phone chimed in as 
if on cue.

"Mulder."

"I ran a titre test on our blood. The antibody counts were almost identical 
between your sample and ours. There's no need to revaccinate. I'm just 
calling to let you know that I am heading back up to Ritchie base. The 
number Stafford gave me isn't getting an answer and I would like to check on 
them myself."

"Scully I thought you called last night and everything was fine."

"Yeah, I know. But I just want to make sure." He thought it was a collosal 
waste of time, but here he was chasing threads and in no position to 
criticize her actions.

"Okay, stay in touch then." He snapped off the phone and smiled at his 
friends.

"Boys, care to get into trouble?" he challenged.

They all smiled, more than eager.

They pulled everything up on the two names and worked the puzzle. The 
mystery was there, but there didn't seem to be a whole lot to it. Neither 
were their hearts in the quest though. This was strictly a "make work" 
project. The connection was vague at best. Drake worked for the good guys 
now, but, as Klass, had worked for the bad guys. Neither connection was 
anything substantial at this point. His only significance seemed to the 
inference that someone had been trying to infiltrate their organization. It 
all seemed kind of moot at this point. The person just seemed more like the 
spirit of the dead rather than any kind of threat. The main Syndicate 
players were taken care of. It could become a larger matter after the fact, 
but for now it seemed full of air.

That was okay. The three musketeer wannabes pulled out some beer and they 
all sat around having a drink, all but forgetting about their little 
project. They laughed easily at the most recent Langly story of hacking into 
the pentagon's mainframe.

Adam marveled at how they were still in operation. He could see why Mulder 
hung out here at times. These boy/men were reminiscent of his click at the 
compound. The stories flowed.

"And then Byers got the idea that a good cover story would be that we were 
military, of course they didn't buy it!" They all roared at the joke.

"My favorite conspiracy theory of yours Langly is that JFK was a suicide," 
Mulder added. They laughed easily again. They were all in great moods, even 
laughing at themselves.

"Looking for a needle in the C.E.A. Pharmaceutical stack hasn't done much 
for your reputation in my eyes either my good man," Langly returned. They 
all laughed again.

All, that is, except Mulder.

"Wh...why did you say that?" All but the very vaguest of smiles gone from 
his face.

"Well...you know, C.E.A., the Pharmaceutical group."

"We weren't looking at C.E.A. as a connection. In fact, I didn't mention 
C.E.A. at all. Where did you get that?" He was suddenly serious as a heart 
attack, his mind working on something. The group sobered quickly. Adam 
wondered what was going through his head.

Langly searched his mind. "Pinck Pharmaceutical's mother company.... C.E.A."

Mulder looked at Adam, realization dawning on his face. "C.E.A. is the 
company supplying and distributing the vaccine. Pinck is strictly Syndicate 
cover."

They stared at one another, not hardly daring to blink. The shrill sound of 
the phone interrupted the moment.

"Mulder."

"Mulder, I'm at the base. It's odd. There's no one at the gate. The place 
seems deserted."

"Scully, where are you?"

"Just inside the main building. Do you know what else is odd? I found the 
vaccine that Stafford sent up sitting here on the counter. Mulder, it's not 
the same one that I picked up at the distribution center."

"How do you know?"

"The color is different. The one I picked up myself was more an amber. This 
one is almost clear. There's no accounting for that. What does this all mean 
Mulder?"

Sometimes Mulder hated it when he figured out things.

"Scully, get out of there....now!"

On the other end of the phone, he could hear her breathing change.

"Scully?"

"Mulder..." her breathing was deep and forced, for a moment she said nothing 
at all, then, "I think I just became a believer."

"Scully, what's happening?"

"Mulder, I'm in trouble."

The phone snapped off.

"Scully! Damn it!" He turned to face Adam.

"The vaccine isn't a vaccine...it's the virus! C.E.A. is distributing the 
virus! Scully's in trouble. I have to get out there."

Adam snatched the phone out of his hand as they ran to the car. He worked 
quickly, calling McDougall first.

"We have to stop those shipments!"

"We have to help Scully."

=======================================

When she'd been on the phone to Mulder, she'd walked into the bunk room of 
the main building looking for life. Unfortunately, she'd found it. Amid a 
chaos of translucent bodies and disemboweled pilots, movement in corners 
could be seen. From the shadows peered large pools of shiny black eyes. As 
she stood on the threshold, she saw the animal movement immediately. She 
stood there afraid to move. Afraid to not move. That was when she dropped 
the phone and reached for her gun. Her fear mounted with the realization 
that she didn't have extra clips, most importantly not ninety three rounds. 
She held her gun up high and defensively.

She slowly backed out, amid a skittering of activity. Panic struck her as 
her back hit the hallway wall opposite the bunker door. Down her path of 
exit, she caught a glimpse of something moving across the hallway. She was 
trapped.

====================================

Adam had called to alert every resource available. He sent a military strike 
force and environmental containment unit out to Ritchie even as he and 
Mulder were still racing towards McNeil.

Mulder's mind was working against him then. All it could do is stamp out 
possible synarios. None of them looked promising. He tried her number again 
once Adam had mobilized help. Even as they boarded a helicopter and headed 
for the base, his mind worked her terror.

The helicopter held assault supplies and they found themselves once again 
suiting up for war.  They had faced the threat before. They weren't about to 
go in there without some heavy armor on, military backup or not. Adam 
watched Mulder's face as they flew towards their goal. He knew what Mulder 
was thinking, that the helicopter wasn't going fast enough. He also knew 
that Mulder wouldn't survive the loss of her. He said a quick prayer that 
Scully was safe.

Mulder scarcely breathed as his numb mind flew over the image of the alien 
that had tried to attack them outside the ship in Virginia. By the time they 
landed, he could see the strike team had moved onto the base. From the air, 
it had seemed like half of the U.S. land forces had converged there and were 
fanning out to cover the base. Mulder was glad, they were going to need 
everyone they could get. When the chopper landed, they approached what 
looked like the team leader.

Adam didn't bother with pleasantries.

"You're looking for alien creatures. They are strong and vicious. They may 
have killed everyone on the base. We don't want any of them getting away. 
There are at least ninety three of them. You have to account for each and 
every one. You're going to need to get in touch with the CDC and get 
containment equipment when they get out here. You'll need level 3 or better 
anti contamination suits to deal with any alien bodies. No one should get 
near the bodies. "

Adam didn't really care what he was sounding like to the man. They needed 
the job done and quickly. The sergeant nodded. He was probably assuming this 
was just another drill. Aliens just didn't come up that often in general 
conversation. That was okay, as long as he did what needed to be done.

Almost forty five minutes had passed since Mulder's phone call with Scully.

"There may be a survivor. Tell your men to look for a survivor."

Mulder ran towards the hangar nearby. Adam followed. They jumped into a car 
sitting there. There weren't many buildings on the base. Finding her car 
wasn't hard to do. They could hear bursts of gunfire before they got out. 
Mulder took the safety off his rifle and checked his handgun quickly and 
mindlessly. His mind was on the building and what he would find in there. 
The soldiers on the outside were in a standard holding position as backup to 
whoever had gone inside. One of them stopped them as they approached the 
door.

"Sir, you can't go in there yet. The building isn't secure."

Adam and Mulder looked at one another and moved forward in unison. Mulder 
could hear the soldier cursing into his mike as they moved in heedless of 
his warning. The interior was dark. It took a minute for their eyes to 
adjust. They entered into a hallway dotted with doors. As Mulder worked his 
way slowly up the hall, he could hear the chaos going on ahead of him. The 
soldiers were losing it. Their short controlled bursts had become long drawn 
out firing sequences. They were panicking. Who could blame them? Mulder was 
pretty panicked himself.

Just inside one of the first rooms was the body of one of the mutant aliens. 
Its black liquid eyes sightless now. Black blood oozed from several holes in 
its body. Mulder hoped that everyone had the message to stay clear of the 
fluid.

That wouldn't be a problem for the guy on the floor in the next room though. 
  On the ground just inside the doorway, lay the body of some unknown 
would-be hero. Blood was still running from the wound to his neck. To be 
fair, you would have to say that it ran from both his shoulders and his 
head, as the latter was hardly attached anymore. Apparently the score was 
running about even.

Mulder heard an alarmed scream. The firing stopped up ahead. That couldn't 
be good when coupled with the silence that followed. He moved further down 
the corridor. Adam moved up quickly behind him, both were watching one 
another's backs.

The absolute carnage of the bunker room was incredible. The remains of human 
carcasses and alien beasts littered the room. Their blood was mixing on the 
floor. Mulder couldn't see one square foot of the room that wasn't touched 
by the chaos. Bullet holes dotted the walls. Despite the chaos, he didn't 
need to count them to know that there weren't as many alien bodies as human. 
Where were they all? He didn't stop for long. There was no way she could be 
in there and still be alive. He pushed on down the hall with Adam close on 
his heels. He felt some comfort at knowing that someone was watching his 
back, but he could really only focus on finding her.

As the corridor turned, they could hear the reinforcements entering from 
behind them. When Adam glanced down, he stopped in his tracks.  He picked up 
a handgun from the ground, not military issue, it was more like FBI standard 
arm. It was Scully's gun. He took a quick look at it. The clip was full. 
They shared a knowing look. He handed it to Mulder. In some strange way that 
made sense only to the moment, the full clip was a good thing.

The path they were taking was smeared and spotted with blood. Chalk up two 
more for the aliens. They stepped over the bodies, or rather what was left 
of them.

The short dark hall entered into a hangar. The wide hangar doors on the 
other side gaped open. This had to be the path that most of the aliens took 
to get out. Scully could have gotten out from there. Mulder's hopes were 
dashed as he took a quick check to the side. Lying beneath a tangle of 
collapsed boxes, he could make out a shock of red hair. He threw back the 
layers of cardboard that were covering her.

There was a lot of blood. Mulder looked at her neck, remembering the soldier 
from the second room they'd been in. His eyes conducted a cursory 
examination to find no tears to her clothing. She was lying in a pool of 
blood, unconscious yet he couldn't see where the blood was coming from.

"Scully..." No answer.

He felt her neck for a pulse. It was there and felt strong to him. She was 
alive. It was only then that he remembered exactly where they were. He 
looked up and around, looking for any signs of movement. At first glance, 
the hanger appeared devoid of aliens. Soldier corpses lay strewn across the 
floor in the most grotesque way imaginable. He looked up at Adam who held a 
look of terror on his face. Following his line of sight, Mulder saw what 
looked to be several clusters of aliens high up on the walkway that 
contoured the hangar about fifteen feet above them. Adam held his rifle at 
the ready.

There was no way that they could outshoot them should the aliens decide to 
pounce.

"I am not going to shoot." Adam's voice surprised Mulder.

"I don't think it will work if we ask them nicely to stay back."

"As long as they don't see us as a threat, they won't attack. Winwood told 
me once that they could smell the vaccine on our bodies and as long as we 
didn't threaten them, they wouldn't attack."

Mulder thought about this for a moment.

"That didn't seem to make a difference to the alien near the ship."

"Maybe it was protecting the ship. I dunno. I believe Winwood though."

Mulder didn't. He knew that they were grossly outnumbered. Their only chance 
would be to go out the way they'd come. Every movement on the walkway sent a 
sea of fear that chilled his entire body. Adam lowered his rifle.

Outside the hangar doors, in the daylight, they could see military movement. 
In the distance, they could hear the comforting short controlled bursts of 
gunfire. Behind them, they could hear the soldiers moving up the hall. Adam 
had been right, the aliens seemed to make some kind of a fear connection 
with the soldiers that had them surrounded now. Perhaps they did sense the 
difference in the danger level. As the soldiers poured into the hanger, the 
shadows came alive as they attacked.

"We have to get out of here now," Mulder implored. Despite his earlier 
words, Adam had joined the military in shooting at the threat.

Mulder shouldered his rifle and moved to pick up Scully. He still didn't see 
any wound until he moved her head. Blood dripped from it as he picked her 
up. Mulder grimaced at the mess of blood and the small puddle left in the 
cardboard that her head had sat in. Even minor head wounds were known for 
the large volume of blood loss, Mulder comforted himself with this 
knowledge. She didn't make a sound, not did she react at all when he moved 
her. He positioned her across his shoulder and turned to Adam.

"Adam, let's go!" When Adam continued to fire, Mulder grabbed his arm and 
moved him towards the corridor.

If anyone has ever carried a limp body in their arms, they know that it's 
less difficult to carry someone who's resisting than someone unconscious. 
Heroes in movies aside, there was nothing easy about the process. Once again 
Scully was lying over his shoulder, moving away from an alien threat. It was 
obvious to him that the blood was coming from the back of her head, but 
there was little he could do about it until he got her out of harm's way. He 
was as worried about the possibility of being shot by panic fire as he was 
about the aliens.

When they reached the helicopter, Mulder was relieved to find the pilot 
still inside. He carefully placed Scully inside on one of the benches.

"Come on!"he shouted to Adam over the noise of the blades. Adam shook his 
head, indicating that he was staying to fight. Mulder was having none of it 
though. He grabbed Adam, much to both of their surprise, and pushed him onto 
the floor of the helicopter.

"You can't help them now."

He signalled to the pilot to lift off. From the air Mulder could better see 
the chaos of the ground below. He watched as men in gear milled about, 
firing at their targets. He could see that they were well organized and 
seemed to have the area contained. He felt a wave of relief. He turned his 
attention to Scully.

Adam picked himself up off the floor and landed on a bench. He wasn't angry 
at Mulder. Instead he seemed to realize something about the man in front of 
him.

=========================================

Scully's head hurt like hell. That was her first thought, if you could call 
it that. She was having trouble focusing her mind in any clear way, let 
alone opening her eyes. She could hear voices through a distance. One of the 
voices was Mulder's. She knew when she heard it, that she was protected. 
When she tried to open her eyes, she found herself floating back down the 
spiral to unconsciousness.

When her mind pricked through to a level of consciousness again, she didn't 
try to open her eyes or try to move. Instead, she just allowed herself to 
gradually become aware of her surroundings. She was lying on a soft surface. 
A bed probably. Her arms were at her sides. A dull ache throbbed mercilessly 
at her temples. Sounds. She could hear something in the room. A rustle of 
fabric? Mulder was in the room. She couldn't open her heavy eyelids. That 
was too much for her. Instead, the effort brought a soft moan from her 
throat.

He was at her side in an instant.

"Scully?"

She couldn't move, couldn't open her eyes. Her mind was focusing better now 
though. She worked on the part of her body that was cooperating. She 
swallowed. Where the hell was she? What kind of case were they working on 
that had landed them here again?

"Scully, lie still. You have a concussion. Doctor says you're going to be 
fine. You just have to rest."

She could feel his fingers pick up her heavy hand and rub it softly with his 
thumb. She took his words under advisement, but she wanted to at least open 
her eyes. Her mind was pulling itself sluggishly towards the surface of 
consciousness. The base, she'd been at the base. The men....the virus...she 
was running.

"Mmm...aw..." She was trying for "Mulder" but it wasn't happening. He 
answered her questions for her. He knew what she'd want to know.

"We got it all Scully. Stafford was in on it. The Syndicate had planned to 
do things exactly the way they were happening. The virus would be 
distributed to all but select groups of people who would be vaccinated 
against it. They thought that once it was all over, they could retake the 
world from the aliens using their own technology against them. Just your 
basic average 'take over the world' plot. Only it didn't work." He was 
gently stroking the side of her face now. "You in there?"

The sensation drew the nerve endings there into behaving. She tried again 
for her eyelids and this time she was able to drag them open. The room was 
dark. She could see his face silouetted against a lighter wall. She tried to 
lick her lips. Mulder searched her face for signs of life. Her lids couldn't 
stay open long, the effort was tremendous. He smiled. He thought for a 
moment, then took off his leather jacket and laid it across her chest. She 
could smell the rich smell of leather. If she could have managed it, she 
would have smiled. It brought her a comfort that nothing else could have.

"Do you want some water?"

By the time he brought the straw to her lips, she had drifted back down the 
black hole of thought. Nothing, not even gravity got out of there.

The next time she reached for the surface, it was to light streaming in the 
room. It was daytime again. She easily opened her eyes. She was more aware 
of her body too and experimented on herself by moving her hand a bit. She 
looked around the room. It was empty. She felt of flutter of panic before 
the door opened.

In walked Mulder smiling at the sight of her eyes open.

"Mulder, you look like I feel." Her mouth moved the words out hoarsely.

He ran a hand across his unshaven chin. He only did it for her benefit 
though, he could have cared less under the circumstances.

He was dressed in the grey tee-shirt and jeans that she loved so much on 
him. He looked down on her tenderly.

"How're you feeling?"

"I think that it's safe to say that I won't be answering jeopardy questions 
anytime soon."

"Want me to get the doctor?"

"No, I'm okay."

He smiled. "I'm almost afraid to ask you if you want water."

She managed a weak smile. He put the straw to her lips. The water trickled 
into her mouth. It tasted like heaven and revived her even more.

"I don't really know why I am still alive though. The last thing I remember 
was walking into a hangar that seemed to be teaming with every nightmare 
I've ever had....but....it was strange...." Her mind was lost in memory. 
"It's like they were scared of me too....I don't know. And then..." Her mind 
flashed a scene of something coming at her fast. She had the impression of 
flying through the air, and then nothing.

"S'alright." He touched her cheek lovingly. Her eyes were drawn to his. She 
smiled softly up at him.

She looked around the room. It was filled with enough flowers to start a 
Growers Direct outlet.

"You have floral representation from pretty much every level of government," 
he answered the question in her eyes.

"This all must be incredibly vindicating for you Mulder."

"I wonder what your basis of comparison is." His eyes held a cold look to 
them. "They're covering this all up Scully. Officially, they're claiming the 
base incident was terrorism tied to the Carroll County compound. Ninety 
three men and then twenty three strategy soldiers died there."

"They can't do that, too many people know the truth Mulder."

"Has that ever stopped them before? I mean, look at it all Scully... it 
doesn't do them a whole lot of good to admit their mistakes. That's just 
political suicide. What's the use in doing the job we're doing when we look 
down only to see that we're spinning our tires?!"

"You sound resigned about it all Mulder. What happened to fighting the 
future?"

His eyes told her that he'd all but given up the fight.

"This just isn't my battle anymore."

"What's Adam doing?"

Mulder sat down and drew his chair closer to the bed.

"What he's good at. He's working with the powers that be, helping to clean 
things up. They've offered him a position at the Bureau. He's thinking about 
taking it."

"What kind of position?"

"Domestic Terrorism. There's an irony in that somewhere that I'm just too 
tired to point out. I think that they just want to keep an eye on him, make 
sure he doesn't squeak. He won't sit idlely by and let them drag his team 
through the mud though. He'll knock 'em off their feet. Someone has to."

"It doesn't sound like your enthusiam to return to work is quite there yet."

"Maybe I'm not really sure that I want to go back."

She looked at him, trying to figure out where all of this was coming from.

"I mean, think about it Scully. How many times have we been in this exact 
position? Hmm? It's always the same. Sometimes I am on the bed, sometimes 
it's you. I think we've about stressed our medical insurance to the max. I 
think they're hoping the next claim they see is from a morgue for an 
autopsy."

She didn't smile. She could see that there was something more serious going 
on inside her partner. It was something familiar though.

"I could have lost you for good....again. I'm just not sure that it's worth 
the risk anymore."

"Mulder, you can't draw my lines for me. And you know, your work with the 
X-files isn't so much about what you do. It's about who you are. I don't 
think that you can distinguish the two. I think that that is true for both 
of us.  Maybe it's beyond any kind of choice."

"Maybe I just want a normal life now. Come on Scully, you're always telling 
me that I am missing out on something. Maybe it's time to start looking for 
it."

She smiled, knowing that they had turn 180 degrees around in their positions 
in that regard.

"But that's not you Mulder. And I am not sure it's me either."

He considered this.

"Maybe not. There has to be a way to move closer to the middle though." He 
raked tense fingers through his hair. "Maybe I am just frustrated. In all 
the time we've spent, in all the work we've done, in all the places we've 
been....what have we really found??"

She squeezed his hand.

"Each other."

Maybe that was enough.

=====================================================

Journal entry for Dana Scully:

Tonight's festivities went surprisingly well. It's been one year since the 
Ritchie Base incident. One year since Mulder came back to me. And just over 
one year since Mulder and I became lovers. Truthfully, I wasn't sure that I 
would enjoy the amount of people invading my home that were in attendance. 
It seems odd, as I reflect on the last year, that we've come this far as a 
group. I am still astonished when I think about how different my life is now 
than it was at this time last year. We've all found a sanctuary in one 
another's company.

I used to love the comfortable quiet of my home. Now, it just seems empty 
unless someone from our group makes an appearance every other day or so. I 
have resigned myself to the fact that Mulder is exacting his lifestyle in my 
space. I guess I gave up that particular position when I came home one night 
to find him arranging his aquarium where my Jade Brooker collection had once 
sat. I was somewhat surprised at the liberty that he seemed to be taking 
until I realized that it just made perfect sense. We never discussed it. We 
never did come to any arrangement regarding living quarters. It just 
happened that way. One night I was sleeping alone, the next night he was 
there. I guess that I don't want to stop to analyze it all now either. It 
just feels right. There is nothing more complicated about it.

He never goes to his apartment much anymore. He won't give it up, nor would 
I want him to. There are still times when he needs to be there as much as I 
need him to go. He needs to touch that time in his life for some reason. I 
guess that that is part of his nature. I went over there one afternoon 
looking for him when he wasn't answering his phone. I found him staring at 
the photo album he keeps in his desk. He won't bring it home, he just seems 
to need to look at it for some reason. I suspect that he wants desperately 
to live in this moment, but needs to remember the pain of his life before. 
Things are so much different for him now, for both of us.

He hasn't rid himself of the nightmares yet, although they have been less 
frequent than before. He frightens me with the intensity with which he 
clings to me at those times. I truly believe, in those instants, that I am 
the only one that is holding him to his sanity and that without me, he would 
cower screaming in a corner. Of course that wouldn't happen. But still, that 
is the first thought that crosses my mind when he reaches for me in the 
night.

As I looked around the room tonight, my whole life seemed so totally clear 
and complete. There sat everyone left from the compound, the lone gunmen and 
a few of the stray fellow travellers we've managed to pick up along the way 
this last year. The conversation was wonderfully easy. There was no one in 
the room who would have hesitated to die for any of the others. This seems 
somehow like the dues for this motley club. It's a necessary ingredient for 
acceptance here. You must be a believer *and* you must be willing to 
sacrifice everything for this belief.

The gunmen have roped the compound crew (except Adam and Nickols) into 
starting a whole new publication. They all seem so intent on getting out 
their version of the truth to people. They are still convinced that the 
ships were not destroyed, despite McDougall's insistance that they were on 
the day after the base landing. I always smile inside when they talk 
conspiracy. It's an unlikely combination. Everyone but the gunmen are now 
government employees. Somehow they magnetize towards one another though, 
each taking solace in the other group's views, united in their common goal. 
There is a comfort in knowing that someone is willing to take social risks 
that I am not.

I was overjoyed that Case and Holly seem to be more of a couple than I had 
expected. I knew that they had been spending quite a bit of time together, 
but I suppose that I never really entertained the thought of them being an 
item even when I introduced them. It's refreshing to see their level of 
comfort in one another's company. It makes me hopeful for the future.

Mulder was extremely apt at the art of socialization tonight. He seemed 
quite happy all around actually. It quite possibly has more to do with our 
current situation than anything, I suspect. Although he spent the night 
mainly talking to Adam. It's apparently not enough that they see so much of 
one another at work. I guess that I am protesting perhaps a little too much. 
In truth I don't mind at all. I still get pieces of them both to myself. 
Adam finds little excuses to touch base at Quantico with me. Mulder....well, 
he's never been at a loss for excuses to cross my path. And of course, I 
come home to him every night.

I still miss being his partner, but I am enjoying my new position at. I also 
know that this is where I need to be right now. I wouldn't want anyone else 
as a partner to Mulder than Adam. It's comforting to know that the person 
backing him is someone who actually believes in him. They both find ways of 
keeping me in the loop and I can live with that. I am hardly going to start 
donning aprons and spending my days baking yet. I still need the challenge 
that work brings. For now.

We still haven't told anyone, although it will be inevitable soon. I think 
that Mulder wonders about my need for secrecy. I am sure that he thinks that 
I am in some sort of denial stage.  I just want it to be our little world 
for the time being. Maybe a part of me still can't believe it and trust our 
fortune. Even when I drew up the courage to tell him, I had known about it 
for almost two weeks. When I told him, his knees buckled and he sat down 
hard on my coffee table. I got the distinct impression that had it not been 
there, he would have sat down hard on the floor. I guess fatherhood isn't 
without it's moments. No one ever tells you though that some of the best of 
those moments happen before the baby's even born.

I think often of those few moments in a certain taxi on the way to a certain 
hospital. 'We heal with our hands' he said. I guess that in accepting this 
baby, I have to accept what Winwood did for me. Through his alien healing 
hands, he has offered us the one thing that had eluded us both for so 
long....normalcy.


THE END


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