From: "Donnilee" To: "Whispers of X" Subject: RE: "Big Potatoes" by Donnilee Date: Sunday, April 21, 2002 10:20 PM Clear DayPlease post and/or review and post. Thank you. TITLE: BIG POTATOES AUTHOR: DONNILEE E-MAIL: donnilee@snet.net WEB SITE: http://www.donnilee.tripod.com CATEGORY: MSR RATING: NC-17 SPOILERS: Small Potatoes, War of the Coprophages SUMMARY: Post Ep. What happened after they left the jail? DEDICATION: I'm not generally a post ep kinda gal. I leave that niche to others for the most part. In fact, I think L is for Lullaby is the only post ep story I've ever done. But … every once in a while, you have to color outside the lines! This story is dedicated to two friends. Michelle, who requested that I do a post ep for "Small Potatoes" and Kilo Byte who requested a little 69 action for our dynamic duo. Thanks for the ideas girls! You got my wheels turning! THANKS: As always, so many thanks to my beta reader, Sdani for her thorough reading and her patience when I'm having that old synaptic gap problem. PART 1 (R ) COUNTY JAIL MARTINSBURG, WEST VIRGINIA I watched my partner surreptitiously as we exited the jail through a long corridor. I was behind the two-way glass while Mulder had his conversation with Eddie Van Blundht. No one else would have noticed it, and although I'm sure Mulder would never admit it, I saw the subtle change in his facial features when Eddie accused him of being loser by choice. He had unwittingly hit a nerve there. I knew that behind all that bluster and braggadocio, was a man with many insecurities. He hid those insecurities innuendo and self-deprecating humor. But inside, I knew that Mulder often thought he didn't deserve good things in his life. He knew that his life would be different if he'd chosen another path. However, he didn't choose another path and he had no intentions of leaving the one he was on. My partner seemed completely unaware of his startling good looks and easy outward appearance of confidence … and how sexy that could be. I sighed as I recalled the near disaster in my apartment of several hours before. My God. How did I not know? Why didn't the alarm bells go off at Mulder's unusual behavior? I should have suspected something. Here we were on the case of a man who obviously has some tricks up his sleeve. I'd done an autopsy on his father that suggested the man had at least some ability to change the surface appearance of his skin … and it never occurred to me to question this friendly, personable Mulder at my door with a bottle of wine. How stupid could I be? Maybe because … I wanted to believe. I chuckled to myself, realizing that if the real Mulder hadn't broken down the door, I would have kissed Eddie. Who knows how far it would have gone? Would I have let him into my bed? His words kept repeating themselves in my head. 'Do you ever wish you'd done things differently?' It had been Mulder's voice, so low and sincere. I swallowed and turned to my partner whose mind is obviously elsewhere. If the real Mulder only knew how different I wished things could be. He must have some idea now. "I know I probably don't need to tell you this, Mulder, but you're NOT a loser." He quirked one side of his mouth up and looked at me. "No, but I'm no Eddie Van Blundht either, am I?" There was sadness in his eyes and I swallowed hard against what I saw there in the dark pools of his eyes. He never felt that he measured up to some imaginary measuring stick in my eyes. I shook my head and smiled as we exited the building, since I didn't really know what to say to that. He'd seen that near kiss. He had to at least know that I wasn't immune to his charm. I thought it was Mulder and I'd been ready to let it happen, to let him kiss me and take me across that line we weren't supposed to cross. I was so embarrassed that when I'd finally gotten the opportunity to let my hair down around my partner … it hadn't been him. I felt guilty as well. I really had no idea how he was going to feel about that. We entered the car in silence and began the long ride back to Georgetown. "Are you all right?" I asked. "Sure, why wouldn't I be? Bad guy was caught. My partner was saved from screwing a complete stranger. I have nothing to complain about." I cringed at the sarcasm in his voice, but chose to ignore it. "I'm sorry, Mulder." "Sorry? For what?" "You know what." "Wanting to kiss me … or someone you thought was me?" "There's more to it than that. It wasn't that simple." "Obviously," he said as though I were a bit dim. "Could you lose the sarcasm, Mulder? I'm at least as embarrassed as you are. How the hell do you think I feel?" I nearly shouted. He deflated somewhat. "I don't know, Scully. I don't know a damn thing right now. How the hell do you feel?" I couldn't come up with an answer right away and he continued. "Obviously there are some things you've neglected to tell me. Or maybe not. Maybe when it's really me, you don't feel a damn thing, but some impersonator comes along acting totally out of character and you don't even question it? He hands you a bottle of wine and has a chat and you melt like an ice cream cone in July? Christ, if I knew that was all it took, I would have tried it years ago." I felt the tears sting the back of my eyes. "I feel things around you, Mulder. Why do you think I was talking to him? I thought it was YOU, damn it!" He was silent so it was my turn to continue. "But you never give me any reason to think you were even remotely interested in my personal life. But then you were acting interested … or he was .. ..and I thought it was you," I repeated. "What do you mean you would have tried it years ago?" I asked, trying to put the ball back in his court. He laughed derisively. "You know I care about you, Scully. What did you want me to say?" "I know you care. That doesn't mean you give a damn about my past or want to spend the evening with me talking about something other than work and drinking a bottle of wine. It doesn't mean that there's anything there beyond simple friendship with a colleague." He was quiet for a few moments. "Is that what you want? Something beyond friendship?" he asked, glancing at me and then back at the road. "I don't know. I hadn't really thought about it. But then, there you were. Or I thought it was you … and you wanted to talk and hang out and I thought … we're friends, this is nice." "What did you talk about?" I blushed slightly. "Nothing important. Just stupid stuff, my high school prom, stuff like that." He cast another sad smile my way. "Did you lose your virginity at the prom, Scully?" I barked out a laugh, not expecting that question at all. "Uh … no. He ended up … it's a long story." "He?" "Marcus, my date." "Ahh. Want to tell me about it?" I turned and studied his profile as he squinted at the road. I took in the tenseness of his jaw, his fingers tight on the steering wheel. He was feeling me out, seeing if I would share these things with him, the same things I'd shared with Eddie. If I didn't, he would be hurt, I knew. But I was embarrassed now, knowing I'd made such a horrendous mistake. I felt stupid. He sighed. "Guess I need to refresh the old charm school etiquette, huh?" "What do you mean?" I asked. "There was something about Eddie that made you want to talk to him, or comfortable enough to talk to him, touch him." "Yeah, I guess I got the feeling that you … he, was in a different mood, wanted to … cement our friendship, share something that wasn't about work." "And that didn't bother you?" "Not really. No, I felt comfortable with it. The wine probably didn't hurt," I admitted. "So what's the problem now? Why don't you want to tell the real me? Should I stop and get a bottle of wine?" I could hear the hurt in his voice that he was trying to hide. "Maybe because I'm not sure the real you really wants to know. I've never known how you feel about me! I feel like you are just asking out of some sort of … competition thing." I squealed as he hit the brakes and pulled over the side of the road, the shocks bouncing off the pavement as he came to a lurching halt on the gravel. He slammed the car in park. I braced myself for an explosion of anger. He surprised me. Mulder rarely did what I thought he was going to do. Just when I thought I had him figured out, he would do something that totally dispelled any preconceived ideas I had about him. Instead of yelling, he whispered. Instead of glaring at me, he placed his head down on the steering wheel, resting it against the backs of his knuckles that were still gripping the steering wheel. Instead of denying it, he admitted it. His whisper was raspy and choked with tears that he was swallowing and not allowing to escape. He talked with his head down. "Damn right, I'm competing. I'm your partner, not him. I'm your friend, not him. I know you, he doesn't. Yes, I'm competing. But that doesn't mean that I don't really want to know." He paused, taking a deep breath. I touched his arm and he flinched, but didn't look up. "Mulder …" "Damn you, Scully! We've been partners for four years and in all that time, you never gave one little hint that you would welcome anything other than professional courtesy from me." "That's not true." He continued as if I hadn't spoken. "But some loser who looks like me waltzes into your apartment holding a bottle of wine and you tell him all about your past and … and …" I stayed silent this time, knowing there was more. He sniffled. "You were going to KISS him!" I pressed my lips into a tight line, trying to hold back the tears. "Mulder, I …" "WHY?!" he nearly shouted as he finally raised his head, turning to me. His eyes were blazing and so dark they looked black. Moisture leaked out of the corners and puddled in the corner of his eye sockets. I stared at him, not sure what to say. I knew we weren't leaving here without an answer. My voice was barely above a whisper as well when I finally said, "Because … he wanted to … kiss me … and I thought that … was …" I broke off. "Was what?" he asked, his voice sounding rough and tortured. "It made it O.K. for me to … stop hiding," I said finally and dropped my gaze to my lap. He reached out and tugged my chin up so I had to look at him. "Stop hiding what?" he asked, his tone soft but demanding. "How I feel." I paused. "I lost my fear of rejection. This door swings both ways, Mulder. You're not the soul of openness either most of the time. I had no idea you might have any thoughts about me in that regard. Why would I risk what we have unless I knew you …" "Knew I what?" "Wanted the same things I did." Apparently, I didn't have to explain that further. He knew what I meant. "But when you thought I did, you …" "Wasn't afraid any more …" I wrenched my face away from him and looked out the windshield, sighing deeply, totally unnerved. I didn't expect what he said next either. "Get out of the car." "What?" He turned, yanking on the handle and pushing his door open. "Get out of the car, Scully." My body obeyed him even though my mind was telling me it was a really bad idea. However, I exited the car and closed the door, seeing him round the front of the car from the corner of my eye. I inhaled deeply of the cool, crisp air. When I went to turn around and he grabbed me by shoulders, spinning me to face him. He slowly backed me against the car, gently pinning my hands to the window, his hands on my wrists. He stared at me, our noses inches apart as his hands slid up and his fingers laced with mine. My breath hitched in my lungs as I stared at him, not really believing what I was seeing there. Hope. Longing. Lust … love. I'd never seen these things on his face before, but I didn't think I was mistaken. In slow motion, he stepped into me and pressed his body against mine, fusing us together from kneecaps to breasts. "Mulder … what?" That's as far as I got. "All you ever had to do was ask, Scully," he rasped out. He licked his lips, angled his head, and covered my mouth with his own. His lips worked mine gently but firmly and my mouth moved under his, seemingly of its own accord. His tongue stabbed at my teeth and gums and I felt a dart of pleasure tighten my abdomen and tingle my neck. I moaned softly and my mouth opened. His tongue plunged inside without hesitation, exploring the far reaches of my mouth, tickling my uvula, and caressing the roof of my mouth. I felt my body go slack against the car, my coat cushioning me from the cold metal. My head made a soft thunk as it hit the window. One of his hands released mine and slid down to band around my low back and hauled me up against him. Our coats hung open in the front and he pressed against me tightly. The instant I felt his hard erection pressing between my legs, I damn near swooned, feeling my head spin with dizziness as my body flooded with a warm wave. My free hand slipped under his coat and began to rub up and down his back, pulling him tight against me as I arched into him. He groaned and deepened the kiss further as though he wanted to devour me. I'd never felt such hunger, such … lust. His passion was nearly overwhelming, but now I was trapped. I couldn't move, and I wasn't sure I would want to even if I could. His other hand dropped and shimmied under my coat and over my rib cage, rumpling my blouse as it rose, fingers splayed wide. He swept up the side of my breast, his thumb resting in the crease below my bra, just nudging the underside of my swollen breast that now ached to be touched. My arm nudged his, giving him permission. He didn't hesitate and slid his large hand around to cup my breast. He squeezed firmly, testing the weight. His large hand nearly engulfed it and I felt the unbelievable heat from his palm seep into my breast right through my blouse and bra. He grunted and swept his thumb firmly over my nipple, making it surge into a hard point of desire. I moaned into his mouth and he swallowed it, switching arms and breasts. I'm not sure how long we stood there alongside the road, groping each other like horny teenagers and kissing until we couldn't breath. The world had ceased to exist. There was only the feel of his wet, warm mouth covering mine, his huge hands exploring the curves of my body. I gasped and moaned under his assault. Finally he broke our kiss and my lips followed his until he chuckled, leaning his head against my forehead and gently pushing my head back to rest against the window. We panted against each other for several long moments, catching our breath. Then his lips slid over my jaw and he nuzzled my neck making me shiver. His lips brushed the shell of my ear, sending alarming rivers of warmth down my neck and spine. His rough voice whispered, "Does that clear it up for you, Scully? How I feel about you?" It was probably the most inappropriate response, but I started to laugh. I belly laughed, hard, gasping to catch my breath, feeling tears squeeze out of the corners of my eyes and pour down my face. I sounded hysterical to my own ears. He just stood there looking astonished as his lips twitched and threatened to turn up at the corners. His chest rumbled against mine, even though I couldn't hear any sound from him at first. Then he began to chuckle and in no time was laughing as hard as I was. He backed away, banding his arm around his middle and as our mirth died down. We stared at each other, saying nothing and smiling. He stepped into me again and gathered me to his chest, just holding me tightly. His hands slid up to cup my face and he turned my face up to meet his. "Can we get home and then talk about this some more?" I nodded, not trusting my voice. He gave me a toothy smile that made my stomach do a flip-flop. He dropped a quick, dry kiss on my nose and broke away to return to the driver's side of the car. I nearly staggered when I stepped away from car, finding that my legs felt like rubber and my knees felt like Jell-O. Good lord, I was in trouble. As much as I wanted this, I was afraid. One touch, one kiss, and I'd totally lost touch with reality. I climbed back into the car, feeling shaky. He glanced at me, his smile looking secretive and then he pulled back onto the highway. The rest of our trip was made in relative silence. Snatches of inane conversation dwindled out and we sank into our own little worlds as the scenery flashed by in the windows. I laid my head back against the backrest, feeling exhausted. I don't remember dropping off, but the next thing I knew, Mulder was shaking me awake. My eyes popped open and I blinked rapidly, bringing my surroundings into focus. We were parked at the curb outside my building. I turned to Mulder and he smiled at me. "Hey, sleeping beauty. Wakey, wakey. You're home." I smiled, feeling a slight flush at being called sleeping beauty. I was used to his innuendo, but his softly spoken comments saturated with his admiration as he looked at me were a bit unnerving. I licked my lips and saw his eyes zero in on them. I jerked my head away and reached for the door handle. His hand on my arm stopped me. "Scully, don't run from me now." "I'm not running." "You're nervous." I sighed. "Maybe a little," I admitted. His hand left my arm and reached up to tuck an errant strand of hair behind my ear. I shivered and lowered my head into his hand. "I'm not going to attack you." "I know." "Unless you want me to," he added, waggling his eyebrows. I barked out a cough to cover my nervous laughter and his smile widened. Intellectually, I knew I had nothing to fear. Mulder would never hurt me on purpose. But I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. "I'm a little nervous, but I'm O.K. Still processing." He nodded, his smile fading. "Want me help you carry your bags?" It was a blatant and obvious attempt to get him upstairs and I found myself grinning at him and raising an eyebrow. "Come upstairs, Mulder. No more pretenses, all right?" He nodded, the corners of his lips tipping up again. "You got it … partner." We both slid out of the car as he popped the trunk open. I grabbed my carry bag and he grabbed my large suitcase. We ambled companionably into the building, his hand on my low back. My awareness of him now was heightened and I could feel the tension in my body. I made a conscious effort to relax and took a deep breath. He waited patiently while I unlocked my door with unsteady fingers and pushed my shoulder into it, swinging it wide. He followed me into the bedroom, depositing my suitcase on the floor. I flung my bag on the bed and realized how seldom Mulder was ever in my bedroom. He looked around with frank curiosity, taking in the knick-knacks and wallpaper, the candles on the dresser and nightstands. He turned to me finally and said, "I need to use your bathroom." "You know where it is. I'll get the coffee started." He nodded and turned out into the hall, heading for the bathroom. I shook myself into action and headed for the kitchen. PART 2 (R ) DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT GEORGETOWN, D.C. I braced myself with a hand on the wall as I leaned forward and emptied my bladder. My head was still spinning from my roadside encounter with Scully. I licked my lips and could still taste her strawberry lip-gloss. I washed my hands, dawdling overlong, trying to put on my casual face. I'd told her not to be nervous, yet here I was feeling shaky as a maple leaf in a windstorm. This could be so good. And it could be so bad. It all depended on how I handled it. I'd taken a huge chance doing what I did. But the thought of her almost kissing that asshole was crowding out what little logic was left in my brain. I felt angry, betrayed … and unbelievably turned on by the picture that kept flashing behind my closed eyelids. Him … leaning in toward her berry red lips, ready to take her mouth under his. But she thought it was me. ME. And the picture I kept seeing was me, completing that kiss. How stupid was it to be jealous of myself? But it wasn't me; it was someone with charm but no good looks. So he'd stolen my face and used his charm, charm I didn't have to charm the woman I loved. I felt stupid and inadequate. Why was it so easy for him to slip under her defenses? Why couldn't I say all the right words? I saw the scene again, my vivid imagination filling in the details. I felt myself flush with the excitement of remembering her responsive mouth and aroused body arching into mine, pressing my erection tighter into her cleft. Sweet Christ, I'd aroused her … and that had sent my libido into overdrive faster than any fantasy I'd ever had about her and me. I groaned and turned on the faucet, splashing water on my face and wiping it through my hair. I patted my face dry with a towel hanging there and blinked at myself in the mirror. What did she see when she looked at me? I examined myself. My eyes were slightly squinty at the corners. My nose was enormous compared to the rest of my face. The top lip was too thin, the bottom one too large. My ears were almost like an elf's. Somehow though, I didn't think of myself as ugly. I didn't think of myself as particularly handsome either, although a couple of women had told me that I was. I'd never been particularly vain. My previous lovers had beaten any sense of sexual confidence right out of me. I had faith in my brain, my intuition when it came to all things paranormal. However, sexuality and relationships were an entirely other matter. All my innuendo over the last four years had seemed to fall on deaf ears, and bounce lightly off her amused expressions and clucking tongue. Had she ever wanted to call my bluff? Apparently she had, but didn't think I felt the same way. How could she not know that I was insanely in love with her? How could she not know I lusted after her body, needed her presence like air, and worshipped the ground she walked on? How had she never seen any of the numerous boners I'd sported on her behalf over the last four and half years? She called me oblivious? I raised an eyebrow at myself in the mirror, thinking inanely that Scully did that a lot better than I did. I smiled and took a deep breath. Time to face the music, give her an out, make sure this wasn't going to bust up the best thing that ever happened to me. I made my way tentatively to the kitchen. She was pulling coffee mugs from the cupboard as the coffee pot choked and gurgled. I could smell it and inhaled deeply. I leaned my shoulder on the doorjamb. She turned to me and smiled, "Hey." "Hey yourself," I responded, feeling a goofy grin pull at my lips. She walked up to me and stopped about a foot away. "So …" "So," I repeated. We both smiled again. "God, I feel like I'm in high school. Real intellectual conversation we've got going here, Mulder," she joked. I smiled broadly and said, "Yeah, I know. Thinking about touching you neatly shaves about 100 points off my I.Q.," I deadpanned. She blushed and looked at the floor. "And do you? Think about touching me? Before today, that is?" I reached out and lifted her chin with two fingers. I caught her gaze and answered, "All the time. I just don't usually do it when your standing there watching the meltdown." She blew a breath out of pursed lips and said, "Oh boy." I chuckled at her discomfort, knowing I shouldn't. She didn't seem to mind though. "Scully, this doesn't have to be …" She frowned. "What?" I sighed. "I don't want you to feel any pressure from me." "I don't, not yet." I watched her carefully, trying to gauge her reaction. "I'm afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing, Scully. I don't want to mess up what we have." "Neither do I." "But now that I know you might want …" I drifted off. "Might want what?" she prompted. I swallowed around the sudden lump in my throat. "More. You might want more," I broke off, cursing my inability to say what I meant. "I don't know if I can pretend this didn't happen." "Is that what you think we should do?" she asked, her voice strained. She looked extremely hurt. "No!" I exclaimed, rushing to reassure her. "This is what I mean. I suck at saying what I mean. I'm so afraid of you taking something I say the wrong way." "Then why don't you tell me what it is that you want." "And then what?" "And then I tell you if that's what I want too." "Oh goodie, all the pressure's on me," I quipped. She grinned, shaking her head as if she was amused. She probably was. The coffee pot burped loudly and she turned to tend to it. She poured our coffee. I watched her fix mine, with one sugar and milk, just the way I liked it. I smiled, thinking about all the little things that we knew about each other. Yet, there was so much more that we didn't know. "We know so many things about each other, Scully," I began as she handed me my coffee. I took a sip. "Like what?" I held up my cup. "Like the way we like our coffee, little things." "Yeah, I guess we do." "Can we sit in the living room?" "Oh, yeah! Let's get comfortable," she said, her mannerisms a little jerky. She was still nervous. I was coming apart inside but trying very hard not to show it. We walked to the couch and took up positions on opposite ends. I toed off my shoes and lifted one leg onto the couch, leaving the other on the floor. She kicked off her heels and sank down, sitting cross legged on her end, facing me. I began again. "We know all these little things, but what do we really know about each other on a personal level?" "Not a lot, I guess. I mean, I feel like I know you, know so much. I know about your strained relationship with your parents. I know about your quest for Samantha and how much it means to you." I nodded. "And I know how loving your family is and what a wonderful person your mother is. But that's our families Scully. I know more about your mother than I do about you." "That's not true!" she exclaimed. "Not really, but it seems that way sometimes. I mean, we work together everyday and yet you didn't know me well enough to know that Eddie Van Blundht wasn't me." Now we were getting at it. I saw her tense and then sigh. "Mulder, he looked just like you. How was I supposed to know it wasn't you?" I hung my head. I didn't have an answer. "I don't know," I admitted. "Somehow I just think that if someone came to me looking like you … I want to think that I know you well enough to detect you acting completely out of character and that I would detect it." "So I was supposed to know that it was totally ludicrous that you would come to me as my friend with a bottle of wine and want to sit down and have a chat after a long case." I was beginning to see her point. "I just don't know, Scully. Maybe I'm just hurt that it was him that was able to charm you, and not me." "But don't you see Mulder. It was you. I was already charmed or I would never have let him in. Even thinking it was you; if I had no feelings for you, I would never have allowed us to become friends." I looked at her then, hearing the sense in her words. "I saw red when I broke down that door and saw him leaning over you," I whispered. "You were jealous?" she asked quietly. "Obviously, you know that now." "You were jealous of yourself?" "It wasn't me." "I know that now. But I didn't know that then. I thought I was about to kiss you, Mulder. And I wanted it to happen." "Do you still?" I asked quietly. "Isn't that obvious by the way I reacted to your roadside attack?" "Attack?" "Well, it was fairly sudden." "You didn't seem to mind." "No, I didn't. That's the point." We stared at each other for what seemed like a long time. I slurped my coffee and then set it down. She did the same and I scooted down the couch as she turned her legs to let them fall over the side and lean her back against the backrest of the sofa. I slipped an arm over her shoulders and tipped her toward me. Her head turned and looked up at me, her eyes shining with what could only be anticipation. "You really thought it was me, no doubts?" "At the time, I had no doubts. I really thought it was you. It never occurred to me that it wasn't. I mean, now that I know it was him, I'm thinking back and it was strange that you didn't want to pursue the case. He said, 'Nothin' here but small potatoes, Scully.' I thought that was weird. It wasn't like you to just drop a case in the middle even if it wasn't turning out the way you thought." "But?" "But I wasn't convinced there was anything worth investigating anymore and I was tired and I wanted to go home." "Any other weird instances." "Well, yes. He typed your report and misspelled Federal Bureau of Investigation." I laughed out loud at that. "That didn't strike you as weird? I am an Oxford graduate after all." She grinned. "I just figured you were tired. I knew I was." I pulled her closer and saw the anticipation there again. I'd dreamed of seeing that look on her face so many times. Seeing it for real was breathtaking and so much more overwhelming than when it happened in my head. In my head, I was suave and cool and said all the right things. In reality I was stuttering and stumbling over my words, wanting to understand what was happening. "Just because you enjoyed the kiss, doesn't mean that you want it go further. I keep thinking, maybe you were just curious." "About kissing you?" I nodded. "I need to know what you want, Scully." "You first." "I think you know. I want whatever you'll give me." "That's not fair." "Not fair to make me go first, either." She sighed. "One of us has to go first." I bit my lip and chewed it lightly, thinking about how I wanted to say this. How much did I want to reveal all at once. I needed to give her an out. She needed to have a way to back away from this gracefully in case it didn't work out. We needed to preserve our partnership at all costs. I knew that I couldn't work without her anymore. I'd known that since her abduction two years ago. "Scully, I want a lot of things. But what's more important is what I need." "What do you need, Mulder?" she asked softly. I locked my gaze with hers. "I need your friendship. I need for you to be my partner. I can't work without you anymore and you're my best friend. I honestly don't think I could go on if our friendship were to crumple." "I don't think it will, Mulder. It's too strong. I feel the same way about you. I need those same things." I nodded. "That's good." She smiled and I realized how stupid that sounded. Of course that was good! I cleared my throat and continued. "On to what I want, I guess." "Yeah, now would be the time, Mulder," she teased. I smiled at her, loving her banter when she chose to use it. I loved to be teased by Scully. But right now, I needed her to be serious. "I want to be a couple, Scully," I breathed out, hearing the fear in my own voice and praying she couldn't hear it. I could see in her eyes that she did though. "What does that mean to you, Mulder?" "It means that I'm your … boyfriend, your lover, the only man you share your intimate life with. I want to love and protect you." "I can protect myself." "I want us to protect each other, Scully. It's not an insult to your capabilities. You know me better than that, I hope." She nodded. Then she smiled slowly and half stood, swinging around and sliding into my lap, straddling my thighs. I gasped as she slid into place, pressing her juncture against my pelvis. I grunted a soft, "Oh!" as she landed in place and she leaned forward, putting us nose to nose. My hands went to her waist. "Your turn, Scully," I murmured, licking my lips. She pursed her lips. "I want the same things, Mulder." "This will change everything, Scully." "Yes, it will." "Do you think we can handle it?" "I guess there's really only one way to find out, isn't there?" "I guess. But unlike Eddie's comment about the case, this won't be small potatoes, Scully." She grinned and rotated her hips against mine. I groaned as I felt all the blood in my head take a quick trip south. I stiffened against her and her hand snaked down between us. She cupped me through my dress slacks and I groaned again. "No," she whispered. "Feels like big potatoes to me, Mulder." I threw my head back and laughed, feeling giddy with excitement and the easy acceptance she was showing toward this whole situation. I'd expected all the usual arguments, all the reasons why we shouldn't do this. Apparently that kiss had affected her as much as it had me. It wasn't a question of whether or not we were going to cross that invisible line from friendship to intimacy. I could see it in her eyes. We'd already crossed it. She crossed it the moment she decided to let Eddie kiss her, thinking it was me. I crossed it the moment I reacted like a jealous boyfriend, the moment I showed my feelings of betrayal. But it wasn't betrayal. It was her accepting me, letting down a wall. I wished I'd been there to have that conversation with her. "Would you have that conversation with me, Scully?" "The one I had with Eddie?" "Yes, I want to know what he said to you." "I'll tell you word for word." "You will?" "Of course, later." "What do you mean later?" "Right now I have other plans for us." "Oh, what is it you would like to talk about now?" I asked, waggling my eyebrows at her. "I don't want to talk right now, Mulder." "You don't?" I asked, my breath sounding breathy. I cringed internally at how excited I sounded. "No I don't," she murmured, just before her head fell and her lips covered mine. She sucked my bottom lip into her mouth and I thought was going to pass out from the rush of arousal and excitement that ripped through me. I moaned and opened my mouth. She wasted no time and slid her tongue in on top of mine. Our tongues dueled for supremacy for a couple of minutes as we gasped and moaned into each other's mouths. Then her mouth softened and slowed and we began a leisurely exploration. Our hands lost their paralysis and we began another exploration of bodies. Her hands explored my chest and I cupped her ass after raking over her back. I pulled her against me, desperate to feel her weight against me and know this was real. She felt so soft, even through all those clothes. I couldn't wait to feel her skin. I reached up and began to unbutton her blouse. Her mouth never left mine as her fingers reached up to assist me. We had it off in no time and she didn't even wait for me to try. She reached up and unhooked her bra, shucking it off her shoulders. I broke the kiss so I could see her, my hands drawn to her perfect globes like a magnet. I smoothed over them, letting her nipples peak up against my palms and feeling a shock of electricity go through my arms and settle in my groin. I pinched them lightly and she moaned as I watched goose bumps appear on her arms and her areolas bubble up into a tight circles of arousal. No longer able to resist, I dipped my head and took her nipple into my mouth, suckling gently and laving her with my tongue. She moaned, low in her throat and thrust her breast at my head. I suckled harder and reveled in the sounds of abandon that were flowing out of her throat. I couldn't believe I could affect her this way. Her skin was so soft, and the flat of my tongue was teasing her turgid nipples and couldn't seem to stop. She hissed when the sensation was too much and I backed off a bit, sucking gently and letting it go with a audible pop. I saw my saliva bead up on her nipple as I pulled away and felt my body sway at the sight of it. My God, what this woman did to me. Did she have any idea? I doubted it. I looked up at her and pulled her to me. She pushed away and I frowned until I saw her reaching for my shirt. She loosened my tie and unbuttoned my shirt with the speed and skill that only a surgeon's hands can have. I leaned forward to let her tug it off my shoulders and tossed it down to the other end of the couch with her blouse and bra. When her chest landed against mine, she murmured, "Oh my God, Mulder, you feel so good." I moaned and stretched my torso feeling her nipples slide through my chest hair. I took a deep breath to clear my head and try to retain a grip on what was happening here. I captured her head in my hands and focused on her eyes, dark and smoky with desire now. I was alarmed at how rough my voice was but didn't have time to think about it much. "Are we going all the way here, Scully? I need to know now." She panted gently a couple of times, licked her lips and then nodded in the affirmative. "Yes, I want to make love to you, Mulder." "Oh God," I groaned and pulled her into a harsh kiss. I released her and said, "Bedroom. Not here on the couch." She nodded and backed off clumsily, swaying as she came to her feet. I reached out to steady her with my hands on her waist and we grinned at our own clumsiness. I stood, feeling a bit wobbly myself. I reached down and cupped her ass, lifting her easily into the air. She squeaked in surprise, but then wrapped her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck. I turned and made my way toward her bedroom, enjoying the sweet weight of her in my arms. I was going to make love to my partner. What did I ever do to deserve this? I wondered. Right at the moment, I didn't care. Whether I deserved her or not, I was going to take what she was freely offering me. I could only hope that it didn't turn out to be yet another burden for her. I was selfish when it came right down to it and I couldn't resist anymore, not when I knew she wanted me too. She probably had no idea what she was getting into when she decided to get into an intimate relationship with me. She was about to find out. I could be obsessive about a lot of things. And I was never more obsessive than when I was in a relationship. I would have to be very careful not to smother her. I was getting ahead of myself though. Right now, I needed to concentrate on making love to her. I set her down on the bed and reached for her slacks. She smiled at me and I realized I'd never been happier than I was right at this moment. PART 3 (NC-17) DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT GEORGETOWN, D.C. He stripped me the rest of way, quickly and efficiently, eager to see what was underneath. I felt a little thrill sizzle through me at his harsh gasp when I was finally naked and laid out on the bed before him. He whispered, "God, Scully, you're perfect." I smiled and said, "I'm feeling a little at a disadvantage here, Mulder. I want to see what's under those Armani suits." He chuckled and reached for his belt. He shucked his pants and boxers, toeing off his shoes and socks quickly. When he stood up his erection bobbed enthusiastically in the cool air and I heard myself swallow a moan at the sight of it. He threw me a lop sided grin and crawled up on the bed on all fours, straddling me. I wasted no time and reached down to palm him. Good lord, he was so big around, my fingers didn't touch. I stroked him firmly but gently and he threw his head back, groaning and thrusting gently into my hand. He pulled my hand away and said, "Now you." "No, wait," I said as an delicious idea entered my mind. Christ, it had been years since I'd done it. I wondered for about two seconds whether Mulder would have a problem with it and then remembered who I dealing with. "Wait?" he asked, looking almost in pain. I giggled. "Turn around, Mulder." "Around?" he asked. He was so cute when he was struck nearly mute! I whirled my finger in the air to show him what I wanted. Comprehension dawned on his face and he smiled widely and swung around quickly, his hips straddling my shoulders. I palmed him again and he groaned, "Oh God, Scully. This might kill me." I chuckled and licked the precum off the head of his throbbing erection. He moaned and lowered his head, licking me from top to bottom, lapping up my freely flowing juices. I gasped at that first feel of his raspy textured tongue on my sensitive flesh. He suckled each lip and dipped his tongue inside as I took him in my mouth. He was too big for me to take all of him but I used my hand to compensate and begin to swipe my tongue around him before descending as far as I could each time, and then sucking as hard as I could as I backed him out. His groaning sent vibrations shooting through my womb as he continued to tongue me, swirling around my now throbbing clit, only to swipe the full length of the flat of his tongue over my opening. Every two or three passes, I would hear him slurp my excess juices into his mouth and hum as if it were the best thing he'd ever eaten. He had clasped one butt cheek in each hand and taken his weight on his elbows. But I really lost it when he started using his fingers. Two fingers insinuated themselves inside, curled up and found the perfect spot. My womb cringed with delicious bolts of arousal each time his fingers rubbed my G-spot. I began wailing around his cock which was stuffed into my mouth. I reached up with one hand and began fondling his balls, rubbing them gently and swiping my fingers over that sensitive skin between his balls and ass. At the same time, I was grinding my hips into his face. "Feels so good, Mulder," I muttered and then went back to sucking him in earnest. I could feel his pulse in the long length of his rigid cock and it made me shiver. He mumbled, "Awwwwbbbb, Scccuwwweee," as he continued his assault. I almost laughed at his garbled response but suppressed it easily a moment later when he sucked my clit into his mouth. It vibrated against his tongue as my orgasm hit me like a tsunami. My hips bucked harshly as my womb contracted in hard shuddering spasms and my back arched as my nipples ached and pulled up into turgid points of pleasure. He continued to lick me and fuck me with his fingers as I rode out the most intense, keening orgasm of my life. I had let his cock drop out of my mouth and curled my hands into claws in the soft flesh of his ass. "Ohhhh, Gooodddd! Mmuullddeerr! Oh Christ! Oh Sweet Jesus!" I shrieked as the waves consumed me and bright lights flashed behind my eyes. I came down slowly as he extracted his fingers and lapped me gently in farewell. He swung his big body around to hover over me, a look of pure smugness on his face. I gave him a goofy smile, it being the best I could do at the moment as I panted to regain my breath. He leaned in and rained feather light kisses up my neck and over my face, finally kissing me gently on the lips. "Proud of yourself?" I asked. He grinned. "Not really. I just can't believe the way you react to me," he said reverently, his smile vanishing. "God, Scully, even in my wildest dreams …" he trailed off and swallowed hard. I cupped the back of his neck and pulled him into a leisurely kiss. His rock hard cock bumped my inner thigh, leaving a streak of precum. I realized we weren't nearly finished. I grinned. "Just like this, Mulder. I want to be surrounded by you, inside and out." "Oh, God help me," he muttered, "I must be dreaming." I let him feel the smile on my lips as I kissed his neck. He took his weight on his elbows and looked down as I spread my legs to make room for him. "Oh Christ, Scully, seeing you do that …" "Do what?" I whispered, not sure what he was talking about. He shook his head as if to say forget it. "No, Mulder. Tell me. You mean seeing me come?" He bit his bottom lip but then lowered his head, placing his lips near my ear as his hips settled between my legs and his cock nudged my soaking wet entrance. Then he said, "No, seeing you spread your legs." "Mulder!" I cried, not sure whether to be amused or insulted. He chuckled in my ear. "That's why I didn't want to say it. It's crude, but it's true. I could come just from that." I shivered at the raw sound of his voice. "I'd rather you came inside me." "Oh shit," he moaned and began to sink inside me. He sank slowly but deliberately. My voice began to warble out of me in a way I know had never happened before. "Ohwhoa, ohwhoa, ohwhoa." "Feel good, Scully? Oh, you feel fantastic to me." He lifted his head, his lips wet, his eyelids heavy, his pupils dilated with lust. He was the most gorgeous man I'd ever seen in that moment. I found myself whispering it, "You are so gorgeous, Mulder. Oh God, you're so sexy you take my breath away sometimes." He gasped, and that was the end of his control. He shoved the rest of himself inside me and I cried out, "Ahhhhh!" The sudden pain/pleasure of his abrupt entrance left me trembling and my muscles burning as they stretched to accommodate his above average length and width. God, he was so big around, I felt speared, impaled. He sucked in a harsh breath. I could tell he was trying to stay still. "Are you all right, Scully? God, I didn't hurt you did I?" he asked, sounding seriously concerned. I shook my head. "No, it's just been a while. Give me a second to adjust." He nodded and lowered his head, kissing my collarbone and suckling gently on the pulse in my neck. I shuddered and felt a sudden gush of wetness between my legs. My muscles loosened and he sank even further, bottoming out against my cervix. We both moaned. I knew he was waiting for me and managed to croak out, "Now, Mulder. Make love to me." "Oh Scully, you feel so damn good." He pulled out just a bit and reentered, moving slowly. Each thrust he retreated a little more and slid smoothly back inside, filling me to the brim. My head swam with the sensations coursing through my body as he slid in and out, finally retreating until only his large glans was inside and plunging back in a smooth, even stroke, bottoming out and pressing up into my cervix as he swiveled his hips slightly crushing my clit between us. "Oooo, ooo, oooo," I began to whimper as I felt myself climbing quickly to the peak again. He moaned, "So sexy, the sounds you make, Baby. Oh how that turns me on. You're so wet, so hot inside. It's never been this snug." Baby? Did he just call me Baby? My body jerked with an unexpected jolt of excitement hearing his lust-laden voice calling me Baby. I'd never felt this way before. I never had these waves of arousal and excitement continue to crash over me, one after the other, with every stroke of his body inside me. Our bodies were becoming slick with a sheen of sweat but he maintained his steady pace. "Want you to come again," he muttered. Having said that, one hand slid under my body, his fingers snaking down to my butt. His large hand splayed against my lower back, nearly covering the span of my waist. His knees pulled up and he pressed me to him each time he slid inside, increasing the contact and changing the angle of his penetration. I immediately began to feel new sensation, more intense and powerful than the ones before. I cried out, "Oh Mulder, yes!" He finally sped up, beginning to thrust harder. "Yeah, that's it, beautiful," he muttered. I closed my eyes and let the sensations wash over me. I clenched my internal muscles and he shouted, "Oh Jesus!" I realized I had started to mutter, "This is Mulder doing this, this is Mulder doing this, so damn good, never been this good." I realized it when he panted into my ear. "Yeah, it's me, Baby. Only me from now on." "Harder!" I rasped out. He abandoned all pretense of gentleness and began slamming into me. His middle finger slid down between my sweat slicked butt cheeks and the next thing I knew, the tip was pressing on my anus. Long dormant nerve endings flared to life and crackled through me, every hair on my body standing on end. I could feel the rapid approach of my orgasm. He panted, sounding tentative, "Scully, … O.K.?" I shouted, "Don't stop! Oh fuck, don't stop, Mulder!" His lips found my ear again and he chanted, "Come for me, come for me, come on, come for me." His finger tipped and pressed inside my sphincter. It fluttered and let loose. His long finger slid inside and my body broke apart. I screamed, "Mmmuuullldddeeerrr! Feels so goooodddd!" "Open your eyes!" he shouted as my orgasm ripped through me, my internal muscles gripping him like a vice. He stayed embedded and just rocked against me, crushing my clit and pressing the finger in my ass forward till I could feel it sliding along his cock through the thin membrane and he fucked me gently with it. My eyes popped open with a great effort. His lips were curled back in a grimace of ecstasy as sweat dripped off his hair onto my chest. He growled, "You're MY Scully." "Yyeehhheeesss!" I shouted. He bellowed, "Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh, Oh Scully! I luuvvvv you!" His hips thrust without rhythm as he emptied into me. I reached down and clamped on to his butt, holding him deep inside. We finally collapsed in exhaustion. I felt boneless and weary, but sated and so happy, I was in awe of the entire experience. His finger slid out of my rectum and I hissed. He mumbled, "Sorry," as we panted harshly, trying to catch our breath. "S'Okay," I mumbled. His head rested on breastbone, his breath feathering over my nipple, keeping it puckered and sensitive. His tongue darted out to lap at it and I jerked. He chuckled, "Couldn't resist." "No one's ever done that to me before, Mulder," I whispered. He lifted his head, "Did it offend you? I'm sorry if it did." I realized he thought I was talking about his finger going where no man had gone before! "No, you didn't offend me. Did you miss that mind-blowing orgasm I just had? But that's not what I meant." "Mind blowing, huh?" he asked, his eyes twinkling. I should have known he'd zero in on that. "You're incorrigible." "What did you mean then?" he asked, serious again. "I mean no one ever made me lose control like that, scream out …" I trailed off. He grinned and waggled his eyebrows at me. "I have hidden talents," he said, totally devoid of modesty. I shook my head in amusement. "Modesty becomes you," I teased. His smile faded. "Seriously Scully, no one's ever made me feel that way either." "What way?" "Like everything was perfect and right with the world. I don't know." He shook his head, seemingly frustrated at his inability to express himself. "I felt safe and very … loved," I told him softly. He met my gaze and said, "That's the word I was looking for … loved." His bottom lip trembled slightly. "I don't think I've ever made love before, Scully. I just had sex." I felt tears sting the backs of my eyes and I pulled him into an embrace. His now flaccid penis slipped out of me and he moaned. "Damn," he said quietly. I started to giggle, I couldn't help it. "I love you, Mulder." The words slipped out clear as a bell. I felt his chest rumble against mine too. "Well, that's a good thing, Agent Scully." "Why's that?" I played along. "Cause I'm head over heels in love with you." I lifted his head and palmed his face. We kissed gently for several long minutes, just reveling in being able to touch and feel the heat of each other's bodies. "I couldn't love a loser, Mulder," I added gently. He smiled. "You sure?" "Positive," I whispered. My hands worked it's way down between us and I cupped his balls. They were large and spilled over the sides of my hands. He groaned and threw his head back, lifting his weight off me and lifting his hips to give me more access. I squeezed gently and said, "Definitely not small potatoes, Mulder." He barked out a laugh. "No, you either," he said and bent down to suckle my nipple gently. We both chuckled and I felt him stir to life. "My, my, my," I muttered, sounding as impressed as I felt. He smiled, "You're going to kill me if you keep that up. I'm not a young man anymore, Scully." I stroked him and felt him harden in my hand. He sucked in his breath and I said, "*He* doesn't seem to know that." "No, he doesn't, does he?" he joked. "Want to shower first?" "First?" "Before another round." His eyes widened. "Why Agent Scully, you hussy!" I laughed, and looked him right in the eye. "We haven't played one potato, two potato, three potato, four, yet." He grinned. "And what is that, may I ask?" "Hmmm, well, I'm making up my own rules." "What would those be?" I rolled his testes through my fingers gently and he thrust forward gently. "How much do you think I can fit in my mouth?" I asked, trying for my most innocent voice. I widened my eyes, trying to look innocent as well. He shook his head, not knowing what to say. "Thanks for that visual, Scully. We're never going to make it to the shower if you keep this up." "Would that be so bad?" I queried. He collapsed into my arms again and began kissing me. "Whatever you want, my Scully." "I want to play with your potatoes," I blurted out. Through his laughter, he said, "Only if I get to play with yours." I didn't have time to respond because his mouth covered mine. My arm was crushed between us and as long as it was there, I figured I could start playing with his potatoes … his very big potatoes. THE END. Donnilee http://donnilee.tripod.com http://donnilee.tripod.com/fanfic2 http://donnilee.tripod.com/otcrecs http://donnilee.tripod.com/aboutus "The armchair is the neurotic's spaceship." Bob Earle "When you talk to God, they call it prayer. When God talks to you, they call it schizophrenia." - Fox Mulder