TITLE: But You'll Wish It Were (1 of 2) AUTHOR: The X-Pig WEBSITE: http://geocities.com/thexpig/ DISCLAIMER: I wish, oh I wish, that they belonged to me, I'd be rich. They belong to 1013 and FOX. Please don't waste your time suing me, I'm broke. SUMMARY: Mulder's mind was on Scully when it happened. CATEGORY: S, A, R, MT RATING: NC-17 SPOILERS: Post-ep for all things KEYWORDS: Post-ep, MSR, Smut DISTRIBUTION: Sure to Spooky's, Ephemeral, Xemplary, ATXC, MTA. In fact, sure to everyone else, just drop me a line. AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is why I was absent from the XF world for a month. And I thought I'd try to do smut without description. Let me know if it worked. More author's notes at the end. THANKS: To Mallory and Denise for putting up with my bitching, and to my beta crew for putting up with me in general. FEEDBACK: Yes, I want to know. I'm addicted to it. thexpig@xfilesfan.com ------ And all the roads we have to walk are winding And all the lights that lead us there are blinding There are many things that I would Like to say to you But I don't know how Because maybe You're gonna be the one that saves me? And after all You're my wonderwall ----- "Wonderwall" by Oasis ------ April 10 - 5:30 am Mulder's Apartment "Scully." "Scully, it's me." "Mulder, what's wrong?" "Scully, I need you, right now." "What's wrong?" "Please, just get back over here." "Okay, I'm on my way." "And Scully?" "Yeah?" "Please hurry." ----- April 10 - 5:55 am Mulder's Apartment "Mulder, open the door." "It's open." "I hope you're decent." "You are not funny." "Jesus, Mulder, what happened?" "I'd rather not talk about it right now." "Fine. Well, let's get you up." "Shit, Scully, that really hurt." "I'm not surprised. It looks like a softball." "Gee, thanks. Ouch, slow down." "Sorry. Mulder, it looks broken." "Great. Just great. Take it easy." "Do you want my help or not?" "Yes, please. It just hurts. Christ, Scully, it hurts a lot." "Let's get you to a hospital and get you fixed up." "Thanks, Scully." ----- April 10 - 10:30 am Georgetown University Hospital "Hey, Mulder, wake up." "Yeah, wha...? What time is it?" "Time to get you home." "Great. Could you cut it off, please?" "No such luck, Mulder. I've talked to Skinner, he wants you to call him later." "Why? So he can laugh at me too?" "No. He's concerned and so am I. What did the doctor say?" "He said, and I quote, you were lucky, it's not broken." "Well, that's a relief. Let me take a look." "Sure, Scully. Just don't touch it." "Mulder, how'd you get your sweats off?" "Magic. And a pair of shears. Could you help me get them back on?" "Are you coming on to me?" "Does my injured state improve my chances?" "No." "In that case, Scully, no, I'm not. Will you help or not?" "Yes, I will. Here, give me your foot." "Ah Christ, that smarts." "Sorry. Lift your ass. So, how long are you off your feet?" "He said three days out of work, on crutches for a week tops. Can we go home, Scully, please?" "Sure. And you are staying at my place tonight. I want to keep an eye on that ankle." ----- April 10 - 9:00 pm Scully's Apartment "Welcome back to the land of the living." "Thanks, I think. Hey, Scully, I need to use the bathroom. Could you hand me those crutches?" "Yeah, here ya go. I should warn you, when you stand up, the blood is going to rush into your foot." "And?" "It's going to hurt like hell. And you haven't had a painkiller in eight hours." "Maybe you could just get me a cup?" "No way am I letting you pee into one of my cups. Ready? On three. One, two, three..." "Mother*fuck*! Ah Jesus, Scully. Please, God, cut it off!" "Take a few deep breaths. Try to slow your heart rate down, it'll slow the blood flow." "Okay. That's better. Don't leave me, Scully, please. I'm not very good on these things." "I'll be right here with you the whole way. See, I'm right here. Just take it slow." "Yes, ma'am." "But you'll have to hold it yourself, Mulder. Sorry." "You're no fun." ----- April 10 - 9:30 pm Scully's Apartment "Do you need anything before I go to bed, Mulder?" "A new foot. Other than that, no, I don't." "Okay. If you should need anything in the night, I'm in the other room, just call me. Your phone is right here next to the remote. But it had better be good, no playing around." "You are too good to me, Sister Spooky." "And you are delirious. I'll see you in a few hours." "Thanks, Scully, for everything. But especially for today." "Good night, Spooky." ----- April 11 - 1:30 am Scully's Apartment "Mulder, wake up." "My angel, come to heal me?" "Nope. Just your partner and your new best friend." "My new best friend?" "Yeah. Now sit up and take this. And drink the whole glass. I'll be right back." "Okay, mom." "I heard that, smart ass. Lift up." "Shit, that's cold." "No, it's a fresh ice pack." "Now who's the smart ass?" "Need anything else, Mulder?" "No, thanks. Night, angel." "Good night." ----- April 11 - 5:30 am Scully's Apartment "Wake up, sleeping beauty." "Is it time?" "Yes. Sit up and drink. And here's your new ice pack." "Thank you. How does it look?" "I don't know. I'll check it when the sun comes up. Go back to sleep, Mulder." "Your wish is my command." ----- April 11 - 8:30 am Scully's Apartment "Scully? Scully, where are you?" "I'm right here. And here are your crutches." "Are you reading my mind?" "No. It's basic biology. What goes in must come out. Ready?" "Yup. Here I go." "Remember, take it easy. Nice and slow." "Sounds like fun. Care to explore that with me?" "Not today. I talked to Skinner. I let him know what the ER doctor said and what I thought." "You amaze me, Scully. You change gears faster than anyone I've ever met." "Years of practice, Mulder, years of practice. If you need any help, real help, just yell. I'll be right outside the door." "Right." "Hey, Mulder." "Yeah?" "How does your ankle feel?" "It feels like I'm trying to drain the vein, Scully." "Oh, sorry." "Now, what were you saying?" "I asked how your ankle feels." "It's numb, Scully. Until I put weight on it. Then it hurts like a son of a bitch." "Okay. Sit down and let me take another look at it. Are you hungry?" "No, not really. Ow, Scully, be gentle." "You need to eat something. You didn't eat yesterday. It's a side-effect of the Vicodin." "But, Scully..." "No buts. Does this hurt?" "God, yes. Take it easy." "I barely touched you. I don't like the way this looks, Mulder. I want a second opinion." "Sure. My other doctor's always happy when I come to see him on your advice." "And what's that supposed to mean?" "Nothing. It's just that I never go to see him unless you make me. Could you hand me the phone?" "Why?" "So I can make an appointment." "First, tell me what happened." "Okay, but don't laugh. Or get mad." "I won't, Mulder. I promise." "All right. When you left yesterday morning I was awake." "What?" "And don't interrupt. I figured you wanted some time to yourself and I needed some time to think. So I got up to go for a run." "I'm with you so far." "That's just it, Scully, you weren't with me. That's what I was thinking about when I missed the step and took my header down the stairs." "But Mulder, didn't you call me from your apartment?" "Yes, I did. Somehow I managed to get back up the stairs, down the hall to my dungeon, and call you before I passed out. The last thing I remember before hearing you at the door was telling you to hurry. You aren't mad, are you?" "God, no, Mulder. I think I owe you an apology. I just didn't want to wake you." "Damn it, Scully, it's not your fault. You owe me nothing. If only I hadn't pretended to be asleep, none of this would have happened. And now I'm a burden on you because of it." "No, Mulder. Enough. Call your other doctor, as you put it, and make your appointment. We'll talk about this later. Okay?" "Okay." ----- April 11 - 3:00 pm Georgetown University Medical Center "How'd it go?" "Just wonderful, Scully. He poked and prodded me, inflicting that special brand of torture they teach you doctors in med. school." "Ha ha, very funny. What did he say?" "He said that it wasn't broken..." "But you'll wish it were." "I take it you've heard that before, Scully." "Yeah. Remember, I have two brothers." "It's all so clear to me now. I have another appointment in a week for him to check it. Until then, no work or play for me." "I figured as much. While you were in there, I stopped by your place, fed your fish, and packed you some clean clothes." "Scully, I can't stay with you..." "Yes, you can. And you will." "Well, if you insist?" "I do. Frank Black called for you." "Oh yeah? Did he say why?" "He said that Jordan dreamt that you had injured yourself and he called to see if you were all right." "I assume you filled him in on all the gory details." "No, not all, just some. He wants you to call him when you are feeling better, says that Jordan wants you to be more careful." "Everyone's a smart ass. I'm tired, Scully." "We're almost there, you big baby." "I am not." ----- April 12 - 8:00 pm Scully's Apartment "Hey, Scully, could you?" "Sure. Scoot back just a bit. Better?" "Yeah. Just be gentle with me." "How does that feel?" "Oh God, Scully. A little to the left." "Better." "Yes. Oh yes, Scully, that feels great." "And now?" "Just a little lower. Ah, man, you are amazing." "How's that?" "Much better, thank you. Where'd you learn how to do that?" "It's a doctor thing. If only I could figure out how to keep my fingers from going numb." "Here, give me your hands." "Oh no, Mulder, you don't have to do that." "Just relax, Scully. It's the least I can do." "Wow, that feels great. But do me a favor, Mulder." "What?" "Adjust your crutches before you get tendonitis in that shoulder and the massages don't work." "Sorry. It's been a while since I've been on crutches, remember." "Yeah, I remember. And you'd think you would have remembered from the last time you got tendonitis. Those crutches need to be about two inches below your armpits. Got it?" "Yes. How do your hands feel now? Still numb?" "Great. Thanks, Mulder." ----- April 14 - 5:00 pm Scully's Apartment "I've got to get out of here, Scully. I'm going nuts. No offense." "None taken. What did you have in mind?" "Gosh, I dunno. I was thinking maybe dinner, a movie, some dancing." "Some dancing? I don't think so, Mulder. Not on that foot." "Fine. How about just dinner and a movie?" "You mean like a date?" "Scully, you said it yourself, I don't remember the last time I was on a date. But yeah, like a date." "I don't know, Mulder. Your foot..." "Humor the cripple, Scully, just this once." "Guess it's a good thing I picked you up some clean clothes, isn't it?" "Are you sure you're not psychic?" "No. Do you need help getting ready?" "Is that an offer?" "No." ----- April 17 - 1:00 pm Scully's Apartment "Think you can put up with me for another week, Scully?" "Really? Just another week? And I was hoping for so much more." "Are you mocking me, Agent Scully?" "Absolutely, Agent Mulder." "I'll take that to be a yes. Do you know what happened to the cane you gave me?" "The carved one that Charlie got in Scotland?" "Yeah. That's the one." "It's in my bedroom closet. I suppose this means that the crutches are out of here." "Not quite yet. The cane is for around the house, for short amounts of time spent on my feet. As tolerated, as Dr. Johnson put it." "That's reassuring. I was getting worried. Did he give you a new scrip?" "Yeah. No more Vicodin. Now it's Darvocet." "That's good. Your lack of appetite was beginning to concern me." "My lack of appetite has nothing to do with the drugs and everything to do with your cooking." "You said you wanted to walk home, right?" ----- April 20 - 8:00 pm Scully's Apartment "Hey, Scully, you just missed David Copperfield's Greatest Escapes." "And I'll bet you didn't tape it for me." "Had I known you liked him, I would have." "That's okay, Mulder. After the Amazing Maleeni, my tolerance for magic has decreased dramatically. Scoot over." "What did you bring me?" "Chinese. Just eat it." "Okay, angel." "Smart ass." "I have a theory about David Copperfield, Scully. Want to hear it?" "You must be feeling better." "Ha ha. I think Copperfield's an alien." "Excuse me?" "You heard me. Seriously, he makes things disappear and reappear. I watched him saw himself in half tonight." "Mulder..." "Hear me out, Scully. He's just indoctrinating the masses. Everyone is so used to watching magicians doing these tricks that they don't surprise us any more. No one would know the difference when they stop being tricks, when powerful people start to disappear." "Well, I am surprised at you, Mulder. How long have you thought about this?" "Oh, five minutes or so. Why?" "It's a sound theory, except for one thing." "Shoot, Sister Spooky." "Those tricks are illusions, Mulder. Your uncle was an amateur magician, surely he showed you something. Mine did. David Copperfield does not make things disappear and he did not saw himself in half. What he does is make everyone believe what he wants them to. He's not an alien." "Okay, then how does he do it?" "Damned if I know." "Then how do you know I'm not right?" "Puh-lease, Mulder." "That's not an answer, Scully. What? You don't want to play?" "No. I want to eat." "Fine. Are we still on for tomorrow night?" "Absolutely. Unless you don't want to take me to dinner." "Dinner is not the only place I want to take you, but it's a start. No, wait, not the shoulder. Ouch!" "You had that coming, Mulder." "Shit, Scully, change the channel. I'm missing Who Wants to be a Millionaire." "You've got to be kidding me." ----- April 21 - 11:30 pm Scully's Apartment "You've got a smile so bright You know you could've been a candle. I'm holding you so tight You know you could've been a handle. The way you swept me off my feet You know you could've been a broom And baby you smell so sweet You know you could've been some perfume..." "Mulder, you can't sing. You know that, don't you?" "Well you could've been anything that you wanted to, I can tell The way you do the things you do, alright. The way you do the things you do..." "Are you going to make me turn off the radio?" "As pretty as you are You know you could've been a flower. If good looks were minutes You know you could've been an hour. The way you stole my heart You know you could've been a crook. And baby you're so smart You know you could've been a schoolbook..." "That's it. I'm cutting you off. No more radio for you." "You're no fun, Scully." "And you're drunk, aren't you? What did you drink while I wasn't looking?" "Red, red wine Go to my head Make me forget that I Still need her so..." "You didn't?" "Red, red wine It's up to you All I can do, I've done But memories won't go No, memories won't go..." "Mulder, you can't mix painkillers and alcohol. It makes you delirious." "I'd have thought That with time Thoughts of her Would leave my head I was wrong And I find Just one thing makes me forget..." "Mulder, if you don't stop, I'm going to leave you dressed and stuck on this couch." "Okay, Scully, geesh. I'm just having a little fun. And you never want to play." "Mulder, I can never tell when you are playing." "What's that supposed to mean?" "I can never tell when you are being serious and when you are just trying to get a reaction out of me. Like now. Are you really drunk? Or are you yanking my chain?" "What do you think?" "I don't know. I'm not used to getting my questions answered in song, but I'm not surprised by it either." "I don't surprise you any more, Scully?" "You? You surprise me, but your actions don't. Not any more, anyway." "Are you sure about that?" "Yes." "Well, be prepared to be surprised..." "Mulder..." "I can't believe that it's real The way that you make me feel A burning deep down inside A love that I cannot hide..." "I'm not surprised..." "I know it's you and me baby That makes the world go round Ah keeping you in love with me baby Laying all my troubles down..." "I'm waiting, Mulder." "Here I am baby, come and take me Here I am baby, won't ya come and take me Take me by the hand, ooh show me Here I am baby, oooohhhh..." "Mulder, please. Let go..." "It always ends up this way Me begging you everyday A love that I cannot have You broke my heart in two halves..." "Would you let go of me, please?" "What? You don't want to be this close to me? Why not, Scully?" "Mulder, now is not the right time. You've been drinking." "And when would be? I don't know what you want me to say, to do, to help you understand how I feel. How much clearer do I have to be?" "What are you trying to say?" "Scully, am I really not clear? Or are you not listening to me?" "Mulder..." "Damn it, Scully, I love you. I have loved you for years. And you? You just go about your merry way, ignorant to what goes on around you, to everything but yourself. And even that I'm not sure of." "Are you saying that I don't see you?" "Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. I'm saying that it took you finding a past lover before you would sit down with me and talk, really talk, about your life. Your life before me, Scully. Have I done so much to hurt you?" "No, Mulder, not you. Never you. You have kept me going through so much. You were there when I was ready to give up, you saved me with your honesty. You have saved me more times then I can count. And I am grateful to you. I owe you so much and I don't know how to pay you back." "I think we've been through this, Scully. You owe me nothing, and I owe you everything. Do you remember that day, in my hallway?" "How could I forget?" "I wanted to tell you then, Scully. I tried but I couldn't find the words I was looking for. So I tried to show you. But circumstances prevented me from doing what I wanted." "I wanted that too, Mulder. But you let it drop. I don't keep bees in my collar on a daily basis, you know." "The timing wasn't right, Scully, you know that. And then there was Diana..." "I'm sorry, Mulder. I know she was with you in the beginning and I know that I was jealous..." "You've nothing to be sorry for. The timing was just wrong. And I thought, after New Year's, that maybe. But no, you froze me out, put up your walls and I'm too tired to tear them down." "Oh God, Mulder, I hadn't realized. I had assumed that you wanted only friendship from me, nothing more. Oh, Mulder, come here. Let me see you, really see you. I've been a fool." "Do you see me now, Scully?" "Yes. Thank you." "I'm tired, Scully. I need some sleep. We'll talk in the morning." "Good night, Mulder." ----- April 22 - 3:00 am Scully's Apartment "Scully." "Hey, what are you wearing?" "Mulder? Is that you? Do you need my help with something?" "What are you wearing?" "Come on, Mulder. It's three in the morning, go back to sleep." "Not until you tell me what you are wearing." "If that's what it takes to make you happy, fine. I'm wearing one of your old dress shirts, one of the ones you left here a few years back." "Really? Anything else?" "A pair of panties, and a smile. Happy?" "More so then you know. Were you dreaming when I called?" "I was. And I'd love to get back to it, if you don't mind." "Tell me about it." "Mulder..." "I promise I'll leave you alone if you tell me your dream." "Okay, but you asked for it. I was in park, throwing a frisbee to my dog. It was warm, with a slight breeze blowing. I think it was during the week, the park was empty." "What kind of dog?" "Looked like a border collie, black and white medium length hair, blue eyes. His hair was black around one eye, looked like he was wearing a patch." "This dog have a name?" "His name was Jake. Do you want me to finish or not?" "Yes, please, continue." "Jake and I were walking through the park, occasionally stopping to throw the frisbee, when a man walked up behind me, placing his hand on the small of my back. He ushered me to a park bench, sat down next to me, and took me into a powerful embrace, covering my lips with his." "Does this mystery man have a name?" "Maybe. As he is kissing me, he pushes me back on the bench, covering me with his body. I break the kiss to unbutton his shirt, rubbing his chest with my hands. He dances kisses down my neck, following the path his hands are taking to the waist of my pants. You still there, Mulder?" "Ahmm, yes." "Just checking. As his hands undo my pants, his mouth suckles at my breasts through my shirt. Having released the button at my waist, his hands drift to my panty line, pausing to feel the lace, before pushing past the band and brushing against the hair. He quickly retracts his hand, intent now on freeing me from my shirt. He works quickly, baring my skin to the open air." "Scully, who is this guy?" "You'll see. He takes both of my breasts in his hands, testing their weight, before rubbing the nipples, causing them to become erect. He pulls the left one into his mouth and continues to rub the right one. I moan with desire. He takes this as his cue to get down to business. He pulls me into a sitting position and pulls my pants down past my hips. He places his hands on my thighs, urging my legs apart. Once apart, he sits back on his heels and looks up into my eyes, asking permission to continue. Who am I to deny him?" "Huhn?" "Nothing. His hand begins to caress my folds, seeking out the warmth and wetness that he has caused. Having found it, he pushes his finger into it, preparing me for what is to follow. He moves his finger slowly, taking his time, before adding a second, pushing deeper. He pulls his fingers free, bringing them to his mouth, sucking them clean. He returns his hand to my thigh as he leans forward, placing his lips where his hand has already explored. His mouth moves slowly, leisurely, as he finds what I like. He then starts to suck at my clit as his fingers return to the action, thrusting in time with his sucking. I am moaning his name, begging him. He complies, adding his tongue to his fingers, increasing his pace. I am on the verge of release and the phone rings. Mulder?" "Yeah. I'm here. So, umm..." "You want to know who the guy is?" "Yes!" "It's you, Mulder. It's you. Mulder? Mulder?" "I'm right here, Scully. Hang up the phone." "Only if you'll join me. Can you handle it? Can your ankle handle it?" "I can. And so can my ankle." "Well then, Mulder. Here I am, come and take me..." "Oh Scullee..." ----- April 22, 9:00 am Scully's Apartment "Mulder, what the hell is that god awful noise?" "What?" "What are you listening to? Or, more importantly, what are you waking me up with?" "Oh, that? That's nothing, just one of my old CD's that I found. I haven't heard it in years." "I can't say that I'm sorry to hear that. You listen to this stuff?" "I do. If you ignore the music and listen to the words you'd understand." "Sure, fine, whatever." "Right. Anyway, listening to this CD got me thinking." "That could prove to be very dangerous, Mulder." "Smart ass. So, it got me thinking about how to describe the way I feel about you, both now and before last night. And I've come to some interesting conclusions." "Why don't I like the sound of that?" "I don't know. But if you'll just listen to what I have to say you might not be so surprised." "Okay. Tell me what you've figured out." "I was thinking about what verse in a song best describes how I have felt about you for years, and what verse would describe how I feel about you now. Which would you like to hear first?" "Are you going to sing to me again, Mulder? You know what trouble that got you into last night." "Since you put it that way, yes, I am." "Oh wonderful. How about the before one?" "Okay, here goes. You make this all go away I'm down to just one thing and I'm starting to scare myself Make this all go away you make this all go away I just want something I just want something I can never have." "Well, Mulder, I'm just not sure what to say. You thought you could never have me?" "Hush, we already talked about this, remember?" "Yes, I remember. And your after one?" "As words spill out like fire from her lips if she says come inside I'll come inside for her And if she says give it all I'll give everything to her I am justified I am purified I am sanctified inside you." "I like that one, Mulder. I'm glad that I make you feel that way." "So, how about you, Scully? Or do you need more time to think?" "Nope, I sure don't. Same order?" "Yes, please." "I can feel the distance as you breathe sometimes I think you want me to touch you How can I when you build the great wall around you In your eyes I saw a future together you just look away in the distance" "Was I really like that?" "Yes, you were." "I'm sorry, Scully. I really am." "I know, but you have nothing to apologize for, Mulder. Remember, we talked about this." "Right. Please, continue." "Okay, now for after. Happiness is something I never thought I'd feel again but now I know it's you that I've been looking for And day by day more and more I know what you think you've heard it all before Don't tell me I know but this feeling inside my heart you know I'm never letting go." "Wow. Really?" "Yes, really." "You want to know what I'm thinking right now, Scully?" "I don't know, do I?" "I think you might." "Okay, hit me." "Close. I wanna make you sweat sweat til you can't sweat no more..." "Is that a challenge?" "No, it's a promise." ----- April 24, 2:00 pm Georgetown University Medical Center "I'm free, Scully, free." "Oh yeah? Let me guess, you get to go back to work." "Yes, I do. Thank God. I was about to go stir crazy." "But, you are restricted to desk duty, right?" "Again, you are correct. But it also means that I can go home." "If that's what you want to do, I'll drop you by there now." "You sound disappointed, Scully. Are you going to miss taking care of me?" "Maybe not taking care of you, but I will miss having you around." "Really?" "No, Mulder. I'm lying to you." "That's what I thought. Do you want me to stay?" "Mulder, you can stay as long as you want." "Do I have to keep sleeping on the couch?" "We can discuss that when we get home." "Home. I like the sound of that." "Shut up, Mulder." "Yes ma'am." ----- The End Author's Notes, Take 2: Since you've made it this far, I thought you'd like to know who I stole lyrics from. These are in order. UB40 - The Way You Do The Things You Do UB40 - Red, Red Wine UB40 - Here I am, Baby (Yes, I was on a UB40 kick the day I wrote that part) Nine Inch Nails - Something I Can Never Have Nine Inch Nails - Sanctified Tori Amos - China Phil Collins - This Must Be Love Inner Circle - Sweat (a La La La La Long) Thanks for reading. Send feedback, I'm feeling pretty lonely.