From: Para8Dice@aol.com Date: Sat, 26 Feb 2000 13:06:15 EST Subject: The Chance, The Choice Source: direct Dislaimer: I do not own Mulder, Scully, or Skinner. They belong to Chris Carter. They are not mine. Title: The Chance, The Choice Rating: NC-17 Keywords: Scully/Skinner Romance, then Scully/Mulder Romance Spoilers: Pusher, Summary: After a bad case, Scully realizes she loves Skinner, but Mulder finds out about her brief love affair with him, and has a little talk with her. E-mail: Yes, please, Para8Dice@AOL.Com Author: Paradise _______________________________________________________ Bar 10:13 PM It had been a bad case. Dana sat at the bar, with a beer, thinking it over. It was a case similar to Model. Minds were infected with lies and deceit, and lives were close to being lost. On top of it, Skinner, Mulder, and her had all been embarrassed to the max. Dana's fingers tapped against the counter of the bar, tears prickling her eyes. "You all right, ma-am," the waiter asked. "Oh yeah, I'm fine, thank you." A hand landed on her shoulder. She turned to see Skinner. He had a genuine half small on his face. "Mind if I join you?" "No, please, sit." "I'll have lime vodka." They didn't speak for a few moments. She bit back her tears and swallowed her pain. He didn't buy her show. He never did. "Scully, it's all right. It's all over. The worst anyway." "Please, sir, let's not talk about it anymore." "I'd rather not talk about it either. And for God's sakes, don't call me 'sir'." Once again, there was silence. Skinner drank the vodka slowly, letting it burn slowly, calming his in pain heart. She shook her head, thinking of how she could've done it differently. Why the hell couldn't she do anything right anymore? How could she go on without faith? "Scully, when I lost my wife, I lost all respect for...well, for everything. My wife was all I really had besides you and the X-Files. I lost respect in myself and that's why I slept with that woman. I thought I was through. That's how you feel, but it's *not* the way it has to be. You have so much left in you." Scully shook her head and held back tears. Skinner tenderly touched her face. She titled her head towards him, and at that moment, she realized she loved him. He was one she could always count on and she'd been wrong to think he was on the other side. He'd always been on her side. She looked at him now differently as he touched her cheek. He gripped it gently with his hand, and used his thumb to caress the delicate skin. It was a look of need, want, love, and lust. She'd never quite looked at him that way before. "Let's dance," he said to her, taking her hand, and pulling her to the dance floor. He held her close and moved with her, and he felt her warm body fighting tears. Whether they were tears of remorse, guilt, fear, he didn't know, but he just wanted to stop the tears. He loved her. He needed her to be okay. They danced the night away, until their feet ached, and then they took a cab to her apartment. XxX Scully invited him in and threw her purse on the floor. "Want some coffee," she asked. "No." She knew precisely what they'd both come up to do. The way they'd looked at each other and the way they'd danced had given it away. There was no catagory exactly to put what they wanted to do in, but they both wanted to forget the pain. "You came up here to..." she trailed off asking. "What did you invite me up here for?" "Look, I'm sorry, I don't want you to feel like you have to take this chance. I'm not even sure..." "I've imagined this situation in my head so many times, Scully, and it was always perfect. But this isn't perfect, it's..." "Painful," she finished. "I'm so sorry. You took the dare, you took the chance, you don't have to finish it." He walked closer to her and her eyes began to water the closer he got. "If I want to finish the dare, the chance, I won't accept no for an answer. I'm not going to pretend that I know this is right," he said to her, "But it feels right. Does it feel right to you?" A tear slid over her lower eyelid, down the top of her cheek, and onto the floor. He was security. He was responsible, loyal, and rational. And she loved him. Skinner took one hand and cupped her face. She stayed right there. His fingers moved slowly towards her lips, and he caressed them, removing the left over lipstick across her face, and he swooped down to capture her mouth with his. He kissed her deeply, and a little roughly. They both opened their mouths at the same time, and their tongues and lips meshed together. He removed her jacket and let it fall to the floor, and she did the same. She carefully undid the buttons to his shirt, and slid it off his perfect torso. She bent down, kissing his neck, and caressed his firm skin. She encircled her fingers around his nipples, and he undid the buttons to her blouse before peeling it off her glowing skin. She pulled back enough to reach behind her and unhook her bra, and let it fall to the floor, exposing her bare breasts. Skinner swept her up into his arms and carried her to her bedroom. _______________________________________________________ Next Morning 8:12 AM Scully awoke ontop of Skinner. She never thought she would be naked over her boss. Well, maybe once she'd thought about it. He opened his eyes and looked at her, and a small smile curving up on his mouth. She smiled back. There was a knock on the door. Was her mother coming this early? They were supposed to go out for brunch, but what the hell time was it? Scully slid across Skinner's body to the left side of the mattress, and stood up. She gathered her robe and went to the door. "I'm coming," she called. She opened the door to find Mulder. she thought. "Uh, hi Mulder." "Scully, can I come in?" Before she could answer, he'd already entered. "The case yesterday was so horrifying. It was cataclysmic. But it made me realize how important you are to me." Scully wanted to die. Ordinarily, she'd be praying to hear those words out of Mulder's mouth. She wanted him to tell her that so much. She wanted to return the words. Skinner was listening to the words Mulder was saying, and it was hurting him more than it was hurting Scully. Much more. "Mulder, how about uh, we talk later or something." "Why? What's wrong?" "Nothing! Nothing. It's just I'm getting ready to go out and meet my mother for brunch and..." Mulder saw it. He saw Skinner's tie lying on the floor. He walked over to the couch and picked it up, holding it in front of Scully. "Scully...did you spend the night with someone?" Scully closed her eyes in embarrassment, and tried to continue to breathe evenly. Mulder walked over to her, holding her by the shoulders. "Listen to me, tell me. Don't lie to me." Scully opened her eyes and looked at him, something deep within her hurting. Was it shame? Why should she be ashamed? Mulder was a...he was...what the hell was he? Could she lie to him? No. She took a deep breath. "Skinner," she whispered. Mulder stepped back from her, denying what he'd heard. He was silent for a few moments, but then all anger came out. "SKINNER?" "Shhh, Mulder, dammit, he's in-" "What, your bedroom?" "Yes!" Mulder looked at her as if he'd never seen her before. She hated that look. It was worse than a look of hate. It was worse than any look. He turned and left. "Mulder, wait!" He slammed the door in her face and she stood tall, holding back any emotion. Skinner came out. He's look was something she couldn't quite analyze. "I'm sorry," she exhaled. "Don't be sorry, Scully. I am thrilled!" "Excuse me?" "Well last night, it was wonderful. We both filled the holes in our hearts, we both had a fabulous time, we did what we needed to do, and now, we can go on." She almost bought it. She looked down and smiled. The son of a bitch really loved her. Enough to let her go. Enough to make her feel like she owed him no obligation, and that she could go running after Mulder to beat the shit out of him. She really loved him back. She wanted him. She wanted Skinner. Scully walked back over to him and kissed him gently on the lips. "I don't want to go on. I just want to fix this. I will come back," she vowed. Skinner didn't believe her, but answered her with another kiss. He loved her, and knew she wouldn't come back to him. Not really. He doesn't have to let her go, because he never really had her. _______________________________________________________ Fox Mulder's Apartment 9:54 PM Scully walked over to Mulder's apartment, not quite knowing what she was hoping to accomplish. She wanted to set things straight. Mulder was always, the passion within her, but Skinner was the one who loved her. And she loved him. She was sure. Almost too sure. She unlocked the door to his apartment. "Mulder?" "Leave me alone, Scully." "Not on your life." "What are you doing breaking into my apartment?" She noticed he was drinking. She didn't remember ever seeing him drink. "I knew you wouldn't let me in." "Well, now that you've made yourself an home, what would you like?" "To fix this." "Fix what?" "Us." "There is no us as evidence to last night when you were doing God knows what with our boss!" "We were..." "What? Lonely? Afraid? Hurt? You couldn't have found someone else? A crazy man? A man you just met at the bar? A man on the moon?!?" "Look, I'm sorry." He looked away from her. Lightening flashed in her eyes. "No I'm not sorry. I have nothing to be sorry for. Why do you give a good goddamn who it is I do what with?" "Because I care." "For whom? For what?" "The X-Files." "Is that what you still care about? Well let me ask you this. How many years did you want me to go chasing aliens and UFOs with you? How long did you want me to go with you on every insane adventure with you?" "I wanted you to be with me forever!" Scully silenced for a moment. "If Skinner's what you wanted," he said standing up, "Then by all means, take him. But I thought you loved what we do. I thought you loved the the 'adventures' as you call them." "I do-" "You know if you want I guess, uh, stability, and calmness, and I suppose, security, then yes, Skinner's the one. But if you want the passions, and the risk takers, and the intensity, then I'm the one." He moved closer to her, and by this time, tears were in her eyes and one huge tear had settled underneath her lower eyelid. She finally found her voice. "Who are you," she asked. "Don't you know? I'm *you*." Mulder smothered her mouth with a kiss. She kissed him back desperately. What the hell was she doing? She didn't know. She didn't care. Mulder's hands entwined with the strands of her red hair, and he kissed her deeply, and pushed her jacket off of her shoulders. She moaned into his kiss, thinking she might say something, but then the thoughts were lost. He lifted her shirt off of her, and quickly removed his. Torso against torso they kissed some more, and once again she tried to speak, but he cupped her cheeks and held her in a kissing place. He reached behind her and unhooked her bra, then moved his hands towards the front, and pulled it off quickly. His hands cupped her breasts, and he squeezed them gently, yet firmly. He bent down to kiss her neck, and her nails dug into his back. He moved her to the kitchen, and lifted her onto the long counter. He pulled himself up beside her, thankful that he had so much counter space since he didn't have a bed. He caressed her breasts in long, slow circles. She ran her fingers lightly down his chest. She slipped her hands down his pants and began to stroke him, and he moaned a little into her kiss. She then unzipped his pants and ripped them off eagerly. He then tore off her skirt and underwear, and placed his hands between her thighs, and twisted his fingers in her red curls. She ran his tongue over his lower lip, then nipped it delightfully. He bent down and kissed her nipple, and felt her ready in his fingers. Quickly he rose above her, and entered her, wanting to get every last chance he could to prove to her how much he needed her. She arched her body, meeting thrust for thrust, as the hot, burning, waves crashed her. Liquid waves. She embraced him and brought him down close to her, wrapping her legs around him as he began to increase his speed. She rested her teeth lightly on his shoulder, and cupped his butt cheeks to push him farther into her. They crested together, and they both were left gasping for air. Finally, Mulder spoke. "I need you, Scully. You are the only person in the world I've ever needed, and I will always need you. You go back to him, and if you want the life he can give you, take it. But I know in my heart you want the life we can have. The life we've always had. The excitement. You want a house, I'll get a house. You want a child, we'll find a child. You want to cook dinner for me, we'll find some way. But if you want the life Skinner can give you, go back, and I won't hold what we've just done against you. I know though that you can't forget this. I love you." Just then, Scully began to sob. She turned over and lowered herself off the counter, crying desperately. She placed a hand over her mouth and used the other hand to gather her clothes. "I guess that means you don't love me back," he said. She laughed and sobbed at the same time. "Of course I love you, you big DICK head! That's the problem. I SHOULD love Skinner. I do love Skinner. He can give me a life that most people would want. He can love me the same amount as you, and yet I have to go back to him, and tell him that I'd rather be out with my 'crack pot' as you call it, but 'brilliant' partner." "You love me?" "I don't let just anyone rip my clothes," she said holding up her ruined shirt. Mulder jumped down off the counter and put his pants on. "I'll get you my full length jacket to wear on your way home." She wiped away her tears. "This is the most confusing time in my life. Well, maybe." "Me too," he replied, helping her put on his coat. "Oh well thank you, Mulder." "Anytime. I'll see you soon." "Oh, you're such a jerk. You're enjoying this!" "I love you, Scully. I'm giving you the choice. Make it." She looked at him carefully, questioningly. Then she turned and began walking away. "I must be on drugs," she said pressing the elevator button. "You'll be back," he said all too confidently. "Like hell I will." _______________________________________________________ 12:12 AM Scully opened the door to her apartment, then saw a note written on it. She opened it, knowing it was from Skinner. She was afraid of what it might say. Dear Scully, I had the time of my life. I'll always love you, and I know you'll be happy. You gave me back myself. You gave me back the truth and I'll never forget that. I hope I helped you to realize the good in yourself a little. Thank you for giving me your love. Even if it wasn't exactly what I had in mind. Good bye. Skinner Scully closed the note and a tear fell out of her eye and onto the note. She kissed the note and put it in a drawer. She sat down in a car, placed her head in her hands, and cried. Happiness, saddness, regret, fear, joy, all of it. She had found the truth in herself.