From: "Cheryl Massie" To: Subject: NEW: Dangerous Thoughts (1 out of 1) Date: Thursday, January 31, 2002 1:11 PM Title: Dangerous Thoughts (1 out of 1) Author: CM Feedback: nuttier_tart@hotmail.com Archive: Ephemeral/Gossamer: Yes. Anywhere else: Yes, but let me know where please. Rating: ** NC-17 ** Keywords: Angst/MSR Spoilers: Nope, none. Disclaimer: Would you believe me if I said they were mine? Didn't think so. Summary: When Mulder reveals that he can read minds, Scully gets scared. What do you do when you can't hide your feelings and urges anymore? You confront them, of course. Author's Notes: *************** This story was written with the idea that Mulder has the 'mind-reading' ability he 'gained' in "Biogenesis". However, aside from Mulder having this ability, the story has absolutely nothing else whatsoever to do with "Biogenesis" or any of the follow-up episodes. -- It hasn't got that much plot. ;) Now that's understood, on with the show... @>-----,----'----,----'----,----'----,----'----,----'----,----'-----<@ DANGEROUS THOUGHTS @>-----'----,----'----,----'----<@ @>----,----'----,----'----,------<@ The rain was heavy. Hitting the delicate glass of the window with violent, incessant thuds. The room was dark. A blinding, unsettling black. The air was stale. The 'cheap motel room that hasn't been cleaned properly' stale. All was silent, with the exception of the solemn chants of an old nursery rhyme. "Rain rain go away, come back another day." But the rain didn't go away. Fox Mulder sat on the too-soft motel room bed. Any other time the sound of the rain would soothe him, comfort him. Now, it was just another noise that added to the throbbing ache in his head. What the hell was happening to him? It all started a few days ago - small, simple things at first. Like when he'd ask Scully what she had just said, and she'd insist that she hadn't spoken a word. But he heard her voice. Though unable to decipher what she was saying, he heard it all the same. Next came the headaches. Unruly, agonizing headaches that would come and go as they pleased. Then, things got even worse. After walking through a crowd of people he would have to go and lie down to keep from passing out. He could hear voices, but nothing made sense. It was like they needed fine- tuning. But today, the voices started to make sense. They became crystal clear. And that's when things got *really* bad... ---------- The Office of Fox Mulder --Earlier that day Mulder downed his forth coffee. Her eyes were focused on him the whole time. He was waiting. Waiting for her to say what was on her mind. "You going to tell me what's going on with you, Mulder?" Slowly, he placed the mug on the desk, and continuously circled the rim with his finger. "And how might I do that, Scully? I don't even know myself." "You've been acting strange for the past few days." "I think you mean strang*er*." Growing restless, he stood, and began pacing the floor. "Scully, you wouldn't believe me even if I told you." "Why don't you..." "Why don't I try you?" She blinked, nodding lightly. "What's the point? You'll only think I'm crazy." He plucked his jacket from the back of the chair, and headed towards the door. "And you know what, Scully? This time...you'd be right." ---------- Heavy, incessant rain *still* hit the window with violent thuds. Will it ever stop? For Mulder, the feeling of not wanting to be alone was relatively foreign. But he was scared, and he needed her. Just this once, he wasn't going to deny that. Somehow, when Scully was around, things seemed to make a little more sense. Sighing, he brushed a hand through his soft, brown hair. Finally, he granted his irksome mind permission to go back. Back to the moment at his apartment... ---------- Fox Mulder's Apartment --5:47 PM Toothbrush. Underwear. Spare pair of jeans. Some T-Shirts. He lunged the items into a duffel bag, not sure if he was packing too much or not enough. How long he would be gone was a mystery. So was where he was going. So far, the only plan he had devised was to get in the car...and drive. Finally, the knocking stopped. This wasn't the end though, and he knew it. Anger made a sudden appearance and trembled against his ribcage. The key would be going into the lock, and any minute now her voice would be calling out his... "Mulder?" ...name. The rage bubbled to the surface. He stormed out of the bedroom. "Damn it, Scully! What the hell is it with you barging into my apartment whenever you feel like?" **WHAT** Her eyes widened. No sound escaped her open mouth. "Mul- Mulder," she stammered. "I didn't just barge in. I knocked." "Yeah, and I didn't answer. What do you think that means, Scully? I gave you that key for emergencies only." **You can really be a bastard sometimes** "And what do you think this is, Mulder? I've been worried about you. You haven't answered my calls. When you didn't answer the door I..." **If you only knew how much I worry about you** "Forget it," he said softly. "It - It doesn't matter." He made his way back to the bedroom. "And if needing some time alone makes me a bastard, Scully, then fine." "Who said you were a bastard?" She followed him into the bedroom. "You did." **A packed bag? Where's he going now** "No, Mulder. I didn't." "Well you thought it didn't you? You know, now I know how frustrating it is to know that someone's thinking something, and they don't say it. I've been witness to how false our lives really can be. It's all pretence." **What's going on with you? Talk to me Mulder. Please don't shut me out again** She watched as his shoulders tensed. Walking over to him, she gently ran her hand over his bicep. **He's been working out - Stop it! What the hell am I thinking at a time like this** She stood back, shocked by his sudden chuckle. "What's so funny, Mulder?" "Nothing." "Look," she said, placing her hand back on his arm. "I just need to know you're okay." **I really, really wish I didn't worry so much** "I know you do, Scully. And I appreciate that, really I do. I want to tell you that I am...but the truth is, I don't even know." **I hate seeing him like this. He's suffered so much. I wish I could take away his pain** "Tell me what's going on, Mulder." "I can hear what you're thinking," he blurted out, without really considering the implications of his confession. "You can hear what I'm thinking," she repeated, sounding somewhat bemused. A nervous chuckle fluttered through her nostrils. "You expect me to believe that, Mulder?" "You have to believe it, Scully, because it's true. You've just thought how you hate seeing me like this. You think I've suffered so much. And you wish you could take away my pain." He stared at her, his expression stern and steadfast. "Oh. My. God." He watched as his partners face visibly drained of color. "You're really serious aren't you?" "Yes." **I think I'm going to pass out** "Scully..." He grabbed a firm hold of her, and guided her into a chair. With a blank and lifeless expression, she stared directly ahead of her. Delicate fingers gripped the edge of the seat until her knuckles turned white. "It can't be Mulder. It's just not...possible." "It's real, Scully. And I have the evidence. It's inside me. Think of something, anything, and I'll tell you what it is." **But how** Sighing, he crouched down close beside her. "I have no idea how. It doesn't make any sense to me. I never asked for this." She stared directly into his eyes, his face mere inches from her own. "Mulder...we have to find out how. People don't just become mind- readers overnight." As she inhaled, she breathed in some of his warm breath with her own. It made her dizzy. **Don't sit so close to me** Instantly, he pulled his head back, a worried expression claiming his features. She realized what had just happened. "Oh God, Mulder, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean...what I meant was..." **I get weak when you're that close to me** "Oh God," she exclaimed, bolting out of the chair. "Did you hear that?" He could see she was uncomfortable, and decided it was best not to answer. "It didn't just happen overnight, Scully." **What? Thank God, maybe he didn't hear it** "Then when did it happen?" "Sit back down?" She did. He stood, pacing the floor a little. "It all started a few days ago." "You've been able to hear what I've been thinking for the last few days?" **Shit. What has he heard** "Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?" **Were you enjoying it? Enjoying the control** "NO," he yelled. "No, Scully. I started hearing voices a few days ago, but I haven't been able to decipher what they were saying until today." "Oh. I see." **What have I thought today** Mulder stared at her; wondering just what she was so afraid of. "Why, Scully? You got a dirty little secret you don't want me to know about?" **You bastard! How can you turn something this serious into a joke** "Ouch, Scully! That's twice you've called me a bastard in a matter of minutes. I hate to think what you've called me over the five years that we've worked together. And I had no idea you swore so much." "You think this is funny Mulder?" Tears started to creep down her cheeks. "You don't get it do you?" "No, Scully. I don't get what the big deal is. The way I see it, I'm the one with the problem here, not you." **I might've known. Does everything always have to be about you** "If I can't have the privacy of my own thoughts, Mulder, then what can I have?" "Why don't you just tell me what you're so afraid of, Scully! What don't you want me to know?" **No! No! Don't think anything...don't think anything...** "I've got to go," she said, already out the door. "Scully, wait! Please? We can't just leave it like this." It was too late. She was gone. He didn't bother going after her, after clearly hearing her think: **Please don't let him come after me. I need some time alone to think this through. Please don't come after me** So he didn't go after her. Instead, he picked up his bag. He got in the car. And he drove... ---------- The rain was settling slowly, at last. Mulder lay back on the bed, and allowed his heavy eyelids to close. The chances of sleep were very slim, and he knew it. Besides, even if sleep was kind enough to take him tonight, he would still dream. He thought about how great it would be if his brain had an 'off' button. Right now, that's what he needed...simple nothingness. **What am I doing here? I shouldn't be here** He bolted upright, staring into the blackness of the room. The voice was as quiet as a whisper. To hear it, he had to really concentrate. **Should I knock? Maybe I should just go home? He'll probably be pissed at me after what I did. It's not his fault he has this** How did she find him? Then it occured to him, and a warm, soft smile crept onto his lips: Scully would always find him. **What am I so afraid of anyway? That he'll know the truth. About my feelings. About the thoughts...impure thoughts. Dangerous thoughts. But is that really such a scary thing** "No, Scully, it isn't," he said to himself. It really isn't that scary, he thought, as he slowly lifted himself off the bed and walked towards the door. It all ends now, he thought, fingering the cold handle. No, it all begins. He pulled the door open, and Scully jumped back. Her eyes widened. They were red, and Mulder knew she'd been crying. "Mulder...um...hi. I was just...um...I..." "Hi," he said, smiling softly. **I don't know what to say to him** "Come on in," he said, placing his hand on the small of her back, and guiding her inside. "Please, sit down." She sat on the bed, and he sat next to her. "Is this too close," he teased. "No, Mulder," she replied with a bashful smile. "It's not too close." "I just want you to know, Scully, that you don't have to be afraid. Afraid of the thoughts...because I think them too. I think them all the time." **Oh no, I think I'm going to cry again** "Do you really know what I'm thinking, Mulder?" He brushed his thumb across her cheek, ever so softly. "Yes. And go ahead and cry if you want to, Scully." "No, I'm - I'm okay now. So, what happens next?" He gently pulled her on top of him, so she was straddling his hips. "No more pretending, that's what." **Oh God. This can't be happening** "It is happening, Scully. I'm so glad you're here." **I'm glad I'm here too, Mulder** "Be honest with me, Scully. Tell me what it is that you want." **I don't want to say another word tonight. I'm so tired of thinking one thing and saying another. Or worse, thinking something, feeling something, and not saying anything at all** "Then don't speak," he whispered hoarsely, as he slowly ran his fingers all the way through the silken strands of her hair. **Mm, Mulder. I can't pretend any longer. I want you so bad** He brought his mouth close to hers, but didn't touch it. "I," a soft kiss on her lips, "want," kiss, "you," kiss, "too." **Kiss me harder** His tongue prodded her lips, and she opened her mouth, inviting it in willingly. They both moaned, as they tasted each other, their mouths hungrily exploring the others. **This is so good. How did I get this turned on so quickly** These simple statements made his burgeoning cock turn rock hard in record time. "Mm, Scully," he moaned, grinding against her. "I was just thinking the same thing." **I want you to feel what you do to me, Mulder** Without removing his mouth from hers, he slowly traced his fingers up her bare thigh, under her skirt, and across the soft cotton of her panties. The dampness was there, and he could almost smell her arousal. **You can feel it can't you** "Yes," he breathed onto her lips. One finger found its way under the material, and teased her damp folds. She gasped, and pushed against it. "Oh, I can feel it, Scully." **Touch me more Mulder** Another finger found its way to the other. Together, they searched for her clit. "Here?" **Yes! There! Right there, Mulder!** They rubbed against it in small circles. "Like this?" **Yes, but a little slower please** His fingers slowed, but applied more pressure. **Oooh, yes, just like that Mulder** Her hips bucked against his hand. While his fingers continued to work their magic, his other hand moved to the buttons of her blouse. **Let...ah...me do...that...for you** He watched as her small hands popped open button after button. His pupils pulsated in anticipation. Once the blouse opened, it revealed a cream bra that held the softest looking breasts Mulder had ever seen. Scully reached behind her, unclasping the bra, and two smallish round breasts bobbed freely. Immediately, he reached out to touch them. He had to see if they felt as soft as they looked. Oh God, they felt even softer! A rosy pink nipple stood erect, silently pleading for his mouth. He bent towards it, covering it completely. **Ah...Mulder...I'm...going...to...** He clasped his teeth around it, and tugged. **Mulllldddeeerrrrr** Her mind went blank, a pool of wetness flooded his fingers, and she collapsed against his shoulder. **Jesus, Mulder! That was amazing** "Um, thank you," he said, smiling shyly. **No, thank YOU** Gently, he moved her off him, laying her down on her back. His hands moved over her body, then pulled at her skirt and panties, sliding them all the way off. She was completely exposed to him now. And it felt like the most natural thing in the world. **Something's not right here. Somehow you're still fully clothed** Her stared at her - everywhere - absorbing every single inch of her beauty with his gaze. "Patience is a virtue." She sat up, tugging at his shirt. **Yeah, well, it's a virtue I don't have at the moment. So, get naked, now** "Yes, ma'am." Once his clothes were off, she sat back up to get a good look at him. **You're so beautiful, Mulder. Just...perfect** "Scully, if you're not careful, you're going to give me a big-head." Wrapping her hand around his impressive cock, she gave it a gentle tug. **You already have a big head, Mulder** An impish grin invaded her lips, and a wicked gleam her eyes. "Scully," he exclaimed, almost choking on his own astonished laughter. **You see, Mulder. It's lucky you don't know what I'm thinking all the time** "You're a naughty girl, Agent Scully, that's for sure." **Are you surprised** "Not really." She ran her hand up and down his shaft, and a throaty moan escaped his lips. **Are you going to make love to me now, Agent Mulder** "Do you want me to?" She lay back on the bed, wrapping her legs around his waist. **Read my mind, big boy.** He laughed again. "Stop that, Scully. I can't concentrate." **Sorry...honest** "Yeah, right." Staring directly into her eyes, he positioned himself at her entrance. He didn't enter right away, rubbing himself against her instead. **Tease!** Another soft chuckle, then he kissed her lips. Slowly, he pushed himself inside her walls. "Ah, shit! Damn, that feels good." **God, Mulder, you really are big** "Are you okay?" **Couldn't be better** He began to move within her, pulling almost all the way out, then plunging himself back inside. **Mm, that's good, Mulder** "It's too good." Harder, deeper. "Shit, I think I better slow it down a little." **Don't you dare! Don't wait for me, Mulder. I've already had a wonderful orgasm** "No, Scully. Ah. Touch...touch yourself. I want you to come...to come again." **Okay Mulder** She moved her hand between them, expertly masturbating herself as he moved beautifully inside her. Within minutes, she too, was nearing the edge. **Oh Mulder! I'm there, Mulder, I'm...** Sharp nails stung his back. Her body contracted around him, causing the start of his own orgasm. After several more laboured thrusts, he spilled into her, preaching her name through gritted teeth. ---------- "What are we going to do about you Mulder," she asked, snuggling further into his warm chest. "I thought you weren't going to speak tonight?" "Well I figured you're going to get better soon, and maybe I should start practicing speaking what I feel now." "Does that mean no more pretending?" "I wont if you wont?" "That's a deal, Scully." "You do know that first thing in the morning we're going to have to get you to a hospital? We have to find out what's causing this, it could be dangerous, Mulder." "I know. I know, Scully. But whatever this thing is, at least some good came from it," he said, running his hands over her warm, damp body. The pain in his head was getting worse. "Mulder, are you okay?" "Yeah, I, I just got a headache again. I need the bathroom." He slowly climbed out of bed, and slipped on his boxers. "Hey, try not to worry so much, Scully. I'm going to be fine." She smiled, and gazed right into his eyes. A hearty grin spread over his own lips, and he nodded gently. "I know you do, Scully." He bent down and kissed her lips. "And I love you too." @>-----,----'----,----'----,----'----,----,----'----,----'----,-----<@ T~H~E E~N~D You've done the reading, time to do the writing. :) You have no idea how much I would appreciate feedback on this story. Drop me a line (or two): nuttier_tart@hotmail.com Thank you, -- CM.