From: Para8Dice@aol.com
Date: Fri, 5 May 2000 17:33:35 EDT
Subject: Deception
Source: direct

Disclaimer:  The characters Dana Scully, Alex Krycek, Fox Mulder, and others 
are not mine.  They belong to Chris Carter.  Chris, I ain't trying to take 
them, make any money, or do anything demeaning.  Chris, they're YOURS!

Title:  Deception or Not

Rating:  NC-17

Keywords:  Scully/Kryeck Romance, then Mulder/Scully Romance

Summary:  Scully and Krycek are stranded together, in a very dangerous 
situation.  Scully hears his story and does something she never thought she'd 
do.  Should she tell Mulder?  How will he react?

Author:  Paradise

E-mail:  Please, tell me what you think!  Para8Dice@AOL.Com

Author's Notes:  If you're a shipper, READ!
_______________________________________________________

The Cave
11:11 PM

"Scully, you all right?"

"Yes," she hissed.

"Look, I know we've had some misunderstandings and issues between us, but I 
can save you."

"I'd rather DIE than let you save me."

"And I hear that you're so good about your temper."

"Shut up, you son of a BITCH!"

He sat down next to her, and rubbed her shoulders.  She was freezing and they 
had one blanket and a sleeping bag.  He'd given it to her.  She jerked his 
hands away.

"Don't you ever touch me, Krycek!"

"What exactly did I do that has forced all of this anger?"

"You are against me!  You killed Mulder's father, and you were with the man 
that shot my SISTER!"

He sat down in front of her, facing her.  

"I didn't shoot your sister though, and I was also the one who called the 
ambulence, and hoped she'd live."

"Oh, well THANK YOU very MUCH!"  

"I didn't want her to die.  It wasn't..."

"What?  Your agenda?  You mean to say you wish you'd shot me.  I would've 
been long gone!  But you kept me alive for God knows what reason, and I'm 
stuck here with you and I can't even look at your face."  

She turned around.  

"Scully, have you thought about how I feel?"

She looked back.  "Feel?  No no, you *don't* feel, that's the problem.  You 
probably beat people until they give you the answers you want.  Your a rebel 
on both sides.  You can't decide who you're going to be loyal to.  You're a 
bastard who murders thoughtlessly and carelessly.  You don't give a damn who 
you hurt."

"That's not true."

"Oh really?  Nothing's stopped you so far."

Krycek sighed.  He sat down in front of her, not using any of the blanket for 
himself, but did not cover any part of himself.  He left it all for her.  She 
was shaking desperately, and he knew in his heart he was falling in love with 
her.  Even now, she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.  

"Scully, do you believe everything Mulder tells you?"

"This isn't about Mulder."

"Yes it is.  You're angry that I murdered his father.  Yes, I did.  Do you 
honestly think I had a choice?"

"There's always a choice."

"Not in this game."

"Oh would you stop with the game," she argued.

"You don't know.  You don't...you don't understand."

"You're so heartless, Krycek."

"You don't know one thing about me as a person."

"And why would that be?  You're not a person!"

"Yes I am," he said calmly.  "But you won't understand."

"No, I won't because you won't tell me.  You're such a bastard and I hate 
you.  You shot my sister, in cold blood, an innocent woman, and I *know* you 
have the power to save people in much worse medical conditions than she was, 
although I don't understand the science "the game" uses."

"That's because it's not...it's not human."

Scully exhaled in disbelief.  

"You want the truth, Scully?"

"Honestly, I don't know."

Scully surprised herself by saying that.  

"That's why you and Mulder argue all the time."

"Oh shut up!  You don't know anything about Mulder and you don't know 
anything about me."

He exhaled again, and got out some heavy liquor, to give to her.  She drank 
it quickly, letting the heat go through her heart.  It felt so good.  She was 
getting weaker.  She could feel it.  Dammit.  She needed his body warmth.  If 
only he was...Mulder.

"Scully, you're freezing, let me help you."

"NO!"

"Do you think I wake up and think to myself, "I want to murder Mulder's 
father today"?  Of course not.  I do it because I know I'm in the game, I'm 
doing the best thing I can, and if I don't, I'm dead.  You think Bill Mulder 
hadn't done exactly what I'd done?"

"That's not the point-"

"That's exactly the point.  We're all in the game, Scully.  Bill Mulder knew 
exactly what he was giving up, which is why he let Samantha be taken.  
Everyone in the game could be elimated any time.  We could all be elimated 
any time.  That's what we're trying to prevent."

"So, to save the world, you have to sacrifice certain people?  Is that it?"

"Sort of.  Scully, you are...I didn't shoot your sister."

"You were THERE!"

"Yes I was, but I couldn't do it.  I was ordered to, but I had someone else 
do it, because I could murder you."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because, you are the strongest, most beautiful woman in the world, and your 
time is not over yet.  It won't be over for a long time.  My superiors didn't 
want you gone either, and that's why you were warned.  I couldn't do it 
though, and as awful as it may sound, I'm glad you weren't the one shot."

"I wish my mother had her daughter!"

"I'm sorry, I know this is killing you."

"KNOW?  You don't know!"

"Yes I do."

"How?"

"I had a little sister.  My mother used to do sexual to her.  My mother was 
very sick.  I can still hear my sister's screams.  My mother killed her when 
she was four.  I was eight.  My mother got away with it, but I ran away and 
never went back.  Years later, when I was sixteen, I did go back to the 
house, and I found my mother.  She didn't recognize me."

"Must have been awful," she said with no emotion.

"I'm glad my sister died.  My mother never wanted anything to do with me, but 
she wanted my sister for all the wrong reasons, all the dispickable reasons.  
Hearing my sister every night, it was like a horror movie come to life.  You 
probably had a perfect family where everyone loved everyone, didn't you?"

"We all loved each other, yes, but perfect, absolutely not.  But it was 
nothing like you describe your family."

"I wanted to make something good of my life.  I was involved deeply in being 
loyal-"

"That didn't stick, did it?"

"Not in your eyes, no.  I had no one to ever show me what was right.  I had 
to learn everything I've ever learned on my own.  I can only trust myself.  I 
can't open my heart to anything.  But I haven't felt anything until I looked 
at you."

She looked him straight in the eye and he cuddled her up in the blanket more. 
 She for some reason let him.  She wouldn't deny he was incredibly gorgeous, 
but the things he'd done.  

"Why," she said chattering.

"Because I know too much.  I'm too involved now to quit, and I can't even if 
I could.  Don't you see?  I'm trying to save an entire race.  Our existance.  
If that involves elimating lives, no matter how cruel and wrong, it's 
essential."

"So, you just play God."

"I guess so," he said sadly.  

She looked down.  "Well, I think you're wrong.  There has to be another way!  
There has to be something more than this pain I feel inside.  There has to be 
something more..." she began to cry.

He surprisingly hugged her.  "I'm so sorry, Scully.  We truly don't want to 
hurt you.  We recognize you as the strong, capable woman you are."

"There has to be something more than this pain.  My cancer, I could die any 
minute, I put something I don't know or understand INSIDE my body."

"Shh, Scully, I'm so sorry.  You've got to believe me. I never wanted you to 
hurt.  You're not going to die.  Not if I live to be a hundred will we ever 
give you even the flu.  Scully, I know you hate me, and you have every right 
to, you walk away from me at first dawn, but tonight, let me help you.  Let 
me save you.  Let me, please."

He kissed her.  His lips impacted hers like fire on ice.  He pulled her into 
his lap, keeping her warm in his firm grasp, his lips locked with hers.  To 
her surprise, she didn't refuse.  She believed the son of a bitch.  She was 
letting Krycek kiss her, keep her warm, save her.

She was drunk, she could tell.  She thought she was in control, she was sure 
of it, but she wasn't.  She wanted him.  She hated herself for it, but she 
wanted to forget how cold she was, how tired, how sick, all the pain, her 
sister, her daughter, her cancer, Mulder not being with her, she wanted to 
wipe all those thoughts away.

She found herself kissing Kryeck back.

She had to admit he was fine as hell.  She wrapped her arms around his neck, 
and kissed him.  She couldn't believe herself.  He ripped off his leather 
jacket, and removed his clothing.  He tucked himself into the sleeping bag 
with her, and continued to kiss her.  He nipped and overlapped her lips, 
playing delicately, warming them up.  Suddenly, he pulled back.

"Scully, I love you.  I do.  I've seen you.  I know you're everything a woman 
should be.  I'm so sorry for all we've put you through, but I promise to give 
you all I have, and I promise, even though I can't be with you always because 
of the terrible place I'm in, to always carry this night with me forever."

"Just shut up and help me, Kryyyyyyyycekkkkk," she cried.  

Tears flowed her eyes and down her freezing cheeks and he rubbed them away 
with his fingers.  He kissed her full, lush mouth and the warm of his naked 
body even against her closed one was unbelievable.  His arms went around her 
waist and pressed deeply into her back, pressing her closer against him.  His 
hands then moved to her front, cupping her breasts.  

He gently unbuttoned her jacket, then her shirt, then holding her to reheat 
her.  He kissed her as she sobbed, admiring how beautiful she was inside and 
out, and what a jerk he'd been.  He ran his fingers over her breasts, 
squeezing them gently, as she moaned into his kiss, and felt him hard against 
her thigh.  

Whatever the hell she was doing, she didn't know, but she felt worshipped, 
loved, but...by Krycek?  Who the hell cares?  Probably the alcohol, but who 
cares?  His mouth moved down her neck, tickling her and sending shivers 
through her liquid body.  She thought she was in control, but she wasn't.  
The alcohol and the coldness took over whatever thoughts she might've had. 
Now, she just wanted him!  

His mouth trailed down and kissed her breasts, heating them up and causing 
her nipples to tighten as she whimpered against his touch.  She knew she 
didn't give a damn about him, but if he could save her and maybe do something 
for her, it would help out for all he'd done wrong.

He encircled her nipple over and over, then slid lower, licking her stomach.  
He didn't want to miss an area of her body, for he knew this was the last 
time either of them would be feeling this way.  He gently lowered her pants 
and cupped her breasts with his hands.  He left soft little kisses around the 
edges of her breasts, which were so soft and warm.  

He took his pointer finger and tenderly lowered his finger to her center, 
feeling her warmth, the heat, the desire.  He inserted his finger into her 
dampness, and she moaned a little.  She arched a little to give him best 
access, as his thumb caressed the soft nub between her lips.  She moaned in 
happiness, and then she pulled his mouth to hers, her lips beginning to go 
numb from the coldness, until his lips came down on hers.

He thrusted inside her, almost all the way, amazed at how hot she was on the 
inside.  She was so beautiful.  He moaned into her mouth and she sucked his 
lips with her own, thrusting, faster and faster.  He was right, this was 
forgetting the pain.  Maybe those soap opera characters weren't so insane.  
She cupped his ass and pushed him deep inside of her, for the final thrust, 
and moaned as he gently collapsed over her, keeping her warm.  

After they recovered, he reclothed her for she was too cold for just his 
warmth alone.  She was already asleep, and he prayed someone would get them 
out.  He pulled her close in his arms.

"Live Scully.  Like you always do."

And they both fell asleep.
_______________________________________________________

Next Morning
6:13 AM

"Scully!"

Scully didn't wake up.  She was lying in the sleeping bag, Krycek holding 
her, as Mulder came in the cave, with others to help with the rescue.

"Scully?"

"Mulder, down here," Krycek said.

Mulder didn't even want to argue.  He ripped Scully out of Krycek's arms and 
swept her up into his own, carrying her out of there.  Krycek knew Scully 
would regret the previous night.  It was all over...

XxX

"Scully," Mulder said, lovingly touching her cheek.

She opened her eyes to see him once again, staring at her as she lie in the 
hospital.  

"We've been in this situation entirely too many times."

He chuckled.  "Yes.  I agree.  How do you feel?"

"Tired.  I was stranded there all night.  I was so cold I thought I would 
die."

"I think Krycek did one decent thing in his pathetic life.  He kept you warm."

Scully looked away, slightly ashamed that she'd had sex with her partner's 
bitter enemy.  With HER bitter enemy.  Melissa was probably wondering what 
the hell she had been thinking.  She couldn't bring herself to tell Mulder 
right then and there.  

"I guess he did.  I don't remember anything except the alcohol."

"He gave you alcohol?"

"To keep me warm, yes."

"Scully, how could you trust him?  He could've put anything in that drink!"

"I was freezing."

"You only had to wait a few more hours-"

"Yeah, well, a few more hours and I would've been DEAD!"

He eased up.  "You're right, I'm sorry.  Of course, you would never do 
anything to betray me or damage yourself.  Especially when it involves 
Krycek.  I should've had more faith in you."

<Ouch> Scully thought.  <Oh SHIT!>

"I was afraid I would lose you," Mulder said soothingly.

"No, I'm here.  I'll always be here," she said guilty.

"You don't sound so sure."

"Oh I've never been more sure of anything in my life.  I have no intention of 
ever leaving."

"That's the best thing in the world I could ever hear, because I couldn't do 
this without you."

She smiled and held his hand.
_______________________________________________________

FBI Buidling 
Fox Mulder and Dana Scully's Office
Two Weeks Later
12:14 PM

"Mulder, there's something I didn't tell you, that I can't keep to myself any 
longer."

"You mean about the incident two weeks ago?"

She swallowed.  "Yes.  God, I'm so sorry."

"What?  What happened?"

"Um, Krycek..." she couldn't spell the words.

Mulder jumped up.  "Did he hurt you?  Did he lay a hand on you to hurt you?  
I swear if he hurt you, then I will kill him-"

"No, no Mulder.  That's the problem."

"Scully, you're confusing me.  What's wrong?  Why are you so upset?"

"Mulder I'm sorry.  I'm so sorry.  I was drunk.  I was freezing literally to 
death.  I wasn't thinking straight."

Mulder's eyes widened.  "Scully, he hurt you, didn't he?"

"No.  We were so cold and...I was intoxicated.  I wasn't in my right mind.  
Please Mulder, please don't make me spill the words."

Now he understood.

"You're not serious."

She just wiped away a tear.  Mulder had a spasm on his face.  

"You...you slept with Krycek?  KRYCEK?"

"Y...yes.  I wasn't myself.  I'm sorry-"

"KRYCEK?  He killed Melissa!"

"For Christ's sake!  I know that, dammit!  I didn't just sleep with him, it 
was a long process of pain and anger and I yelled at him until I was so weak-"

"That all you could do was fuck him."

She looked at him with hate.

"That is such a guy thing to say."

"Scully, what, how could you do that?  With Krycek?  He killed my father, he 
killed your sister, he's against us in every way.  He could've killed you and 
you let him touch you?"

"Mulder!  I was freezing to death.  It was body heat-"

"You didn't have to have sex though."

"No, maybe not, but I was so far beyond drunk, beyond sanity-"

"That you let that snake...Jesus Scully."

He looked at her like he'd never seen her before.  

"Why Scully?"

"Because..."

"Why?!?"

"Because I..."

"WHY?!?!?"

"Because YOU didn't want me!"

Mulder's face went white.  What did she just say?  Holy hell.  There were 
tears falling uncontrollingly down her face.  She covered her mouth with her 
hand, and stood up to leave.  He chased after her and stopped her just as she 
reached the door.  

"Scully, wait!"

"No Mulder, I screwed up.  I know what he's done to me, I know what he's done 
to you, but he...he told me he cared about me, that he needed me, and I 
hadn't had that in so long, and I was drunk, and I was..." she broke down 
crying.

Love washed over Mulder's face, and he took her into his arms.  She cried 
softly against his chest, her hands tugging on his suit.  

"Shh, Scully.  I'm sorry."

"Nooooo, I messed up, so bad.  I don't know what I...I don't know how I can 
live with myself for even letting him...touch me.  It was as much my fault as 
his.  He didn't rape me or touch me without my permission-"

"But he gave you the alcohol and knew you'd been drinking."

"Yes.  But I still...I was just so cold, Mulder.  I thought I would die.  I 
know you've been that cold.  You can't think about anything but the pain when 
you're that close to fainting."

"All right, Scully, you don't have to explain anymore about that night, but, 
are you saying you have wanted me to say I need you?"

"Mulder, I'm not about to put you in an uncomfortable position, I just wanted 
you to understand-"

Before she could finish, his mouth landed on hers, his lips chastely touching 
her own, and then he gently pulled back, her lips still a little puckered, 
her eyes still closed.  As if in a daze.  Finally, she opened them.

"Was that what you wanted, Scully?  Was that why you let Kryeck sleep with 
you?"  

"Mulder-"

"Was it?"

"Yes."

He smiled and kissed her again, hugging her at the same time, his arms 
crawling around her.  He pulled back and looked at her seriously.

"You could've told me, Scully."

"I didn't want you to run."

"Me, run?  I never run?"

"Yes you do."

"Not this time, not from you."

He kissed her again, and she kiss him back, but then pushed him away.  

"Mulder, I did you use Krycek to survive.  Don't think I've used you.  I've 
never used you.  I used him.  And if you want to go forward with this, you 
must never think that I'm wishing you were him, because I wished he was you."

Mulder smiled a little.  "Let's go to your place, now," he said seductively.

The exited together, sneaking past everyone, which sure as hell wasn't easy.  
_______________________________________________________

Dana Scully's Apartment Building
1:31 PM

Mulder and Scully kissed through the entire elevator ride, and as she'd 
driven home, his hand had caressed her inner thighs, which had been very 
distracting.  The elevator doors opened, and she smiled, taking her lips off 
of his.  They walked out together, towards her home.  

She couldn't find her key, so he decided to use his.  He pulled it out and 
moved to slip it into the lock near her but was distracted by her shifting 
curves.  Seeking her hip, his hand held her, kneading the flesh through her 
skirt.  She lifted her hips to him, shuddering and aching forward. 
    
The kisses and touches weren't enough.  

"For God's sake Mulder," she said opening the damn door for him.

They walked in, and he slammed the door, knocking her up against it.  He 
quickly placed his hands under her bottom, lifting her up, kissing her 
wildly.  She pushed him back though, letting her little heals clamp against 
the floor.

With insistent fingers she yanked his belt open.  She unzipped him in one 
fast move.  The hollow and loud in the silent room.  His lips landed on hers 
again, and she moaned, happy to have his lips against hers.  Just when she 
thought this was going to be romantic, he took her left arm, put his head 
under it, and swiftly picked her up like a sack of potatoes.

"Mulder!"

He carried her into the bedroom and dumped her on her bed.  She leaned over 
and lit a candle.  Her hair by this point was messy.  Messy and seductive.  
And bright fucking red!  He wanted to taste her.  He wanted to give her 
pleasure.  His hand went beneath her bottom, and he arched her so that her 
shirt went higher, and higher.  She once again, pushed him back.  

"Why don't we just take our clothes off?"

"That would be easier, wouldn't it," he replied.

Mulder lifted off his shirt slowly, and threw it on the floor.  He put her in 
orbit by just doing that.  She sat up and leaned against the wall, and 
unbuttoned her suit jacket, then her blouse, to reveal a bright blue, thin 
bra, that showed off how perfect her breasts were.  
She unzipped her skirt, and slid it off her shapely legs.  He fell on top of 
her, purposely, and kissed her, running his fingers down her back and over 
her naked legs.  Her legs were so shapely.  He hadn't ever gotten an 
incredible look at them, and now, in the candle light, they glistened.  He 
slid her underwear off of her, throwing them over his shoulder.

"In the morning, you better pick those up."

"I get to stay until morning?"

"You think I'm letting you out of my sight?"

He kissed her before she had a chance to breathe, and kissed her so roughly, 
her lips bruised and she was left panting.  He reached down and cupped her, 
feeling her damp curles in his hands.  He dipped two fingers between her 
dripping delicate folds of skin, using his other had to remove the cup 
protecting her breasts, which he kissed.  She threw her head back in arousal. 
 He pulled his two fingers out, looking at them, drenched.  

"Anytime, Mulder," she replied.

His head bent down to between her legs.  He felt her tense up.

"You all right," he asked concerning.

"I haven't ever done that particular sexual act before."

"You haven't?"

She shook her head.  

"Well, if you don't want me to, I won't, but I've never known anyone who 
didn't love it."

She just stared.  He bent down and kissed her.  He felt her relax as he ran 
his tongue up and down and in between her glistening folds.  He heard 
whimpers from her, so he assumed he was doing something right.  He grazed her 
clitoris with his teeth, encircling the nub with his tongue, and pulling it 
in his mouth, consuming it.  She arched her hips and dug her nails into his 
scalp.  He ran his tongue down towards her center, and slipped his tongue 
inside, and heard her moan loudly.  He pulled his tongue out, thrusted it in 
again, then pulled it back out, running it up her folds of skin, towards her 
stomach, and up to her breasts.  

"Mulder, make love to me now."

He thrusted deep inside of her, feeling how hot she was, how tight she was, 
squeezing him with her body.  He didn't continue to thrust, and she opened 
her eyes, looking at him.  She shook her head.

"Not Krycek, just you."

Her legs went around him and he began thrusting into her, faster and faster, 
kissing her tenderly, full of love and lust.  Scully picked up his quick 
movement, and his mouth left hers briefly, and he breathed in and out, cheek 
to cheek with her.

"I love you, Dana Katherine."

"You...you forgot the usual name you call me," she panted.

"I love you, Scully.  I'm sorry I was such a jerk!"

"No, I'm sorry, oooohhh, I'm sorry.  But I love you back, I always have, 
and...and I wanted this for so long.  I just didn't want to put you in...in a 
place you didn't want to be."

"I always wanted to be inside you, thank...you very much."

"That's-that's not what I meant."

"I know."

He reached his climax so quickly, he felt the world shattering around him, 
his muscles rippling, and himself being split apart.  He felt her climax 
directly with him, releasing so many emotions, melting away beneath him, and 
in his arms.  

He rolled off of her, holding her.  After a few moments, she spoke.

"Mulder."

"Yeah?"

"You broke my bed."

He looked back and laughed.  "As long as I didn't break you!  Sorry Scully, 
I'll pay for it."

"What's the point, you'll just break it again."

They were silent again, and she felt him tense up.

"Mulder, would you stop?"

"Stop what?"

She gave him the look.  "Look, Scully, I can't help it. I promise to let it 
go if you tell me one thing I have that he doesn't."

"You have a better ass."

"Thank you.  Was he good?"

"You said you'd let it go!"

"I lied."

"You jerk!"

She pulled the covers over her.  

"Well, was he?"

"What exactly would you like me to say?  I was drunk, I had no idea what the 
hell I was doing.  I don't remember it that well.  The best I can say was 
that I wasn't freezing to death.  Please Mulder, we just did the most special 
thing in the world, can we not ruin it with something stupid I did in the 
past?"

He bent over and kissed her.  

"Well, did you like the "particular sexual act"?"

"You couldn't tell," she replied.

"Just wanted to make sure.  But let me ask you this.  Have you done it the 
other way around, giving the guy?"

"Yes," she said.

"Well, then why haven't you..."

"Because no one else really gave a damn what the hell I wanted.  Not really.  
I haven't slept with the world ya know, it just never quite seemed right, but 
when you did it, it was great."

"Wanna do it again," he asked.

"Mulder," she said smiling.

"What?"

"Sure.  I plan to make love to until tomorrow, and every day after that, 
which is why I'm not going to bother fixing this bed."  

He kissed her again.