TITLE:		DOUBLE WHAMMEE
AUTHOR:	DONNILEE
E-MAIL:	DONNILEE@SNET.NET
WEB SITE:	http://donnilee.tripod.com
CATEGORY:	MSR - M/Sc/Sk - Sk/Other
RATING:	Extreme NC-17 (Some D/s and Bondage).
SPOILERS:	None.
SUMMARY:	Mulder and Scully continue to 
experiment with having a new partner in the 
bedroom but an accident changes their priorities.  
Sixth story in the Dark Sex Series.
DEDICATION: To all the girls on my message board 
that stalked me for the continuation of this 
series,
including Song, Fmudler, Mims, and others.  Thanks 
for your constant badgering!	
	
WARNING:  This fic contains graphic depictions and 
descriptions of sex, including BDSM, erotic 
pain, and D/s scenarios.  If this sort of thing 
bothers you, you might want to read something 
else.  
This is a continuation of the Dark Sex Series, 
which includes:
Happy Birthday, Love
B is for Bondage
C is for Courage
Birthday Boy
Bound in Matrimony
THANKS:  	I must give thanks to my beta reader, 
Sdani, once again.  I pester her constantly, 
like she has nothing better to do than read for 
me!  She's wonderful and never complains.  
Thanks for all your continuing support, for being 
my harshest critic and my biggest cheerleader.  
I Love you for it!

PART 1 (NC-17)
MULDER'S HOUSE
FALLS CHURCH, VA
THURSDAY EVENING - 6:00 PM

Six days.  

It had been six days since that incredible night 
and morning when two incredibly sexy men had 
taken me.  My husband, whom I didn't think it was 
possible to love any more than I did, proved 
me wrong again.  He let another man share our 
passion and I found myself falling in love with 
him all over again as he allowed me to experience 
this new pleasure of having a second bed 
mate.  The second man was my boss, Assistant 
Director Walter Skinner.

That's right.  The man was like a solid block of 
bulging muscles and growling arousal.  And my 
favorite muscle of course, was his enormously 
thick ten-inch cock.  He was only the second man 
to ever give me multiple orgasms and only the 
second man to ever fuck me till I passed out.  

Mulder and he were so different physically.  
However, they each had their alluring qualities.  
Mulder had outgrown the star struck amazement of 
being able to touch me and fuck me 
whenever he pleased.  This is not to say that he 
still wasn't in awe of the power of us together.  
Walter, on the other hand was still amazed that we 
consented to this union.

Mulder was the Top in our D/s relationship and 
he'd slipped into the role with alarming ease.  He 
was muscular but in a lanky, athletic way, and his 
face could still fascinate me with its odd 
features that somehow blended into a package of 
sexual appeal and earnest quirkiness.  Walter 
had the body of a weight lifter; bulky and compact 
muscles and he was two inches taller than 
Mulder, truly dwarfing me in the size department.

Tomorrow.

He was coming again tomorrow.  Just the thought of 
it had me quivering in anticipation each time 
I thought of the incredible heights of pleasure 
these two men had taken me to.  I wanted it again.  
It couldn't happen soon enough.  The thought of it 
had me so worked up that my hands were 
shaking as I took dinner out of the oven.  The 
ziti casserole was finished and I set it on a hot 
plate.  Mulder would be home any minute. 

I thought back to the beginning and the odd way we 
entered our alternative lifestyle.  Knowing 
my propensity for rough sex, I was a little 
fearful of testing the limits.  But slowly, Mulder 
and I 
had learned to know each other's limits. Many 
months of trial and error had brought us to a 
place 
of comfort.  Mulder was definitely the dominant 
one in this relationship.  At work, we are equals, 
but here ... he was all male and I was all female.  
It was a welcome respite from the guards and 
professionalism that I projected with tight 
control while on the job.  

He policed my desires with a strict eye towards 
safety and I was free to let go and have someone 
else at the reins while I indulged my darkest 
desires.

Here, I could just be a wife, a woman in love ... 
just be me.  And that was never more apparent 
than when we were in the bedroom.  Tonight was 
"date night".  We chose one night every two 
weeks to have time together as husband and wife.  
There was no role-playing, no pet names that 
we used in D/s play.  Just me and him, being us, 
together in an exciting marriage.

I was pregnant now, only three months, and not 
showing yet.  He was worried about some of our 
rougher play and had already mentioned curbing our 
activities until the baby was born.  I had 
hesitated but only for a second.  I realized the 
wisdom of his decision.  It was difficult though, 
having finally found the sexual freedom, love, and 
trust to have to rein it in.  But as he pointed 
out, it wasn't as if we were giving anything up 
for good, just for a while.  And returning to it 
would 
be all the more exciting.  And I was no fool.  
This baby was a miracle and I would never do 
anything intentionally endanger it.  But I wasn't 
even showing yet so the danger would be more 
palpable once I began to have a belly to work 
around.

He'd run to the store to get some Parmesan cheese 
I'd forgotten.  I heard his key in the front 
door and took a deep breath to try and still my 
quivering nerves.  He appeared in the doorway to 
the kitchen.  His dark blue Armani framed his 
lanky, muscular body, making his shoulders look 
very broad and his waist very lean.  I actually 
felt the sting of salivation in my mouth.

I blew air out of pursed lips and he smiled, an 
amused look on his face.  My eyes met his and I 
saw his widen with recognition.  He knew I was 
aroused.  I could feel the heat in my own cheeks, 
the hot flush on my chest.  I whimpered as I felt 
my womb cringe and my crotch flood with 
wetness.   God, the sight of this man was all it 
took to make me instantly ready.  Ready to be 
penetrated, impaled; ready to be fucked.

He set the bag in his hand down carefully on the 
counter and shrugged out of his jacket, hanging 
it on the back of the chair.  His eyes never left 
mine as he loosened and removed his tie and 
slowly unbuttoned his light blue dress shirt, 
tugging it out of the waistband of his pants.  
That's 
what I liked about this man.  He never hesitated.  
Not when it came to intimacy between us.  He 
had this philosophy to grab the opportunities when 
they presented themselves.  Ordinary things 
like eating and sleeping could always be done 
later!  

He had said that we wasted too many years denying 
ourselves intimacy and comfort and he 
would never hesitate again.  Seize the moment was 
definitely his philosophy when it came to our 
intimate relationship.  Although we'd tamed down 
our fieldwork quite a bit, only going out on very 
probable cases, forgetting the weak ones, our jobs 
were still dangerous.  We knew that either 
one of us could be gone tomorrow.  We were acutely 
aware of that fact.

I was panting by the time he unbuckled his belt 
and undid his pants, letting them fall to the 
floor. 
He toed off his shoes and bent to retrieve his 
pants along with his socks.  He laid everything 
carefully over the back of the chair.  He 
hesitated for an instant, but then shoved his 
boxers 
down, retrieving them as they fell to his ankles 
and depositing them with the rest of his clothes 
on the kitchen chair.

His arms akimbo, his fists on his lean hips, he 
watched me, his head tilting slightly to one side.  
I 
was fully dressed and he was completely naked.  
Yet, he was surely the one in control even 
when we weren't playing.  I was still on the 
fairly submissive side although I was quicker to 
ask 
for what I wanted, or to reach for it!  I took a 
tentative step toward him and felt the weakness in 
my limbs.  I looked down and licked my lips at the 
sight of his erection, standing tall and proud 
and reaching toward me as though anxious for 
contact.

He shook his head slightly and I froze.  He hadn't 
said anything yet.  He nodded at me as I 
raised my hands to my blouse and I knew he wanted 
me to strip.  He nodded again in 
encouragement as I followed his lead and slowly 
removed all my clothing.  I stood, shivering 
slightly as his gaze slid over my body.

XXXXXXXXXX

I stared at her, still astonished by how beautiful 
she was and equally astonished at how quickly 
she became excited.  I liked to think that just 
the sight of me did it to her but I knew better.  
We 
hadn't said much about our adventure last weekend 
with our boss, but I knew we'd both been 
thinking about it all week.  It was Thursday and 
we'd made a date for tomorrow night again.  
We'd wanted the week to think things over and give 
him a chance to do the same.  Tonight was 
date night.  Time to be together, have dinner, and 
be a loving man and wife, with no play to 
interfere.  It kept us grounded and was probably 
one of the better decisions we'd made since 
becoming involved.

None of us had decided to back out of our 
arrangement in the week that had followed.  So 
Fridays were going to be the nights we got 
together with our new ... bedmate?  I wasn't 
exactly 
sure what to call him.  Lover didn't sound right 
since I wasn't engaging in activities with him, 
per 
se.  I was letting him share my wife's charms.  I 
just never knew what was going to happen once 
the gates were open.  We chose Fridays mainly 
because the work week was over, Walter could 
spend the night, and none of us had to go to work 
Saturday unless there was an emergency or 
we were away on a case.  I knew Scully couldn't 
wait.

I was amazed at the lack of jealousy within me.  I 
kept waiting for that spark of fear and rage, but 
it never came.  I realized at some point that I 
was finally convinced that Dana Katherine Scully 
was in love with me, and only me.  And I wanted 
her to experience all the happiness and 
pleasure that life had to hold.  Making her happy 
made me happy, regardless of whether another 
person was involved or not.  That didn't exclude 
me; it just upped the stakes and the potential for 
incredible sexual gratification.

I let her wait a bit longer in anticipation, 
knowing what that did to her.  I stared at her 
sex.  Her 
labia were red and bulging with blood.  I watched 
as a drop of her arousal gave up the fight and 
fell from her gurgling cunt.  I felt the air leave 
my lungs and my cock twitch with anticipation.

My voice was ragged and rusty when I said, "Come 
here".

She didn't hesitate but flew across the room, 
launching herself into my arms.  I caught her tiny 
body easily and she literally climbed up my torso, 
her legs coming around my hips swiftly.  She 
squirmed trying to impale herself on my cock.  I 
pulled her roughly against my chest to stop her 
squirming and shook my head in the negative.  She 
went still instantly and I felt that rush I 
always got when she obeyed me without question.  I 
turned and stepped into the kitchen, turning 
again and pressing her against the wall.  Her ass 
was wiggling again and I clamped my hands 
over her firm globes.  I pressed her to the wall, 
stilling her again. 

Her eyes begged me for satisfaction and she was 
whining like an excited puppy, trembling in my 
arms as her lips came down and sucked harshly on 
the tendon in my throat.   I groaned and 
thrust against her belly.  She pulled back and 
looked down at my cock, which was at full mast 
and trapped between us.  She licked her lips and 
they may as well have been wrapped around 
my sex.  My cock twitched and strained up toward 
the ceiling, becoming unbearably hard as my 
skin stretched to the limit.  

I lifted her buttocks and placed her dripping slit 
over my cockhead.  The big, blunt tip penetrated 
her snug muscle and then I loosened my grip.  Her 
body weight sank her down on my towering 
erection.  She sighed loudly in relief and I felt 
wetness ooze out around our joining and dribble 
down our thighs.

She wriggled against me again and I could feel her 
greedy cunt simmering around my cockshaft, 
grasping at me with a thousand tiny muscles.  I'd 
just entered her and she was ready to orgasm. 

Unfuckingbelievable.  

I lost it and began slamming her against the wall.  
She'd slid up and as I withdrew her back 
would slide down and I'd ram into her again, 
thrusting up and shoving her body up the wall as I 
buried my aching cock inside her wet, hot walls.  
My forearms came down on the wall, her 
armpits hanging over my elbows.

She was yelping and whining. I grunted with the 
effort and was rewarded.  Five strokes was all it 
took and I felt her ass cheeks clench as her 
exquisite body rose off my pelvis, tilting her 
hips 
forward, her body swallowing my raging shaft 
again.  Her mouth hung open on a silent scream of 
ecstasy.  I was still in awe that I could make 
this beautiful, brilliant woman mindless with 
pleasure.  

Her arms clutched at my shoulders as her orgasm 
began.  Her quivering voice chanted, 
"Ohfuckme, fuckme, fuckme, fuckme, Ohfuckme, 
fuckme, fuckme."

Never one to deny the lady, I fucked her.  For the 
next five minutes, I rammed inside her until I 
felt my legs shaking with the strain and my 
breathing was becoming too harsh.

XXXXXXXXXX

He was nailing me to the wall with incredible 
force.  I was vaguely aware of the feeling of my 
skin 
scraping against the wall with every hard thrust, 
but I didn't care.  He surrounded me as his great 
cock surged in and out of my small body.  My eyes 
rolled back in my head and I felt my entire 
body begin to tingle, the rush of blood in my ears 
drowning out everything around me. 

I was vaguely aware of babbling, but mostly just 
amazed at how well he did this, time after time.  
My body reacted to him in a way that it had to no 
other man in my life.  I thought about sex with 
Mulder and it was as if a switch were flipped.  
All systems go.  I could no longer be called back 
by strategic air command.  My pulse was up, my 
blood was singing, my hair was electrified, and 
my crotch was burbling with excitement.  Just like 
that.

I couldn't think of any feeling better than his 
hard beast of a cock filling me to the brim as he 
slammed into me like a jackhammer; except maybe 
two cocks filling me to the brim as they 
slammed into me like a jackhammer.  I watched the 
exquisite grimace on his face as his arousal 
crept towards its inevitable conclusion.  He was a 
beautiful man and never more so than when 
he was in throes of passion.  There were no walls 
between us and all the love, respect, lust and 
awe was in his face every time I watched him come 
undone from being inside me.

This connection, this feeling of two bodies 
becoming one was something I could never share 
with 
Walter or any man.  Therein lied the difference.  
Our connection wasn't just physical, it was 
mental and spiritual, and we were literally two 
halves of a whole.  I did occasionally regret all 
the 
time I'd spent closing myself off from this.  It 
was almost funny that at one time, I was afraid 
that 
Mulder would hurt me if we were to get involved.  
I was afraid the work would be more important.  
I knew differently now.  A particularly hard 
thrust jarred me out of my musings.

We both shouted and my over sensitized tunnel 
spasmed around him a second time.  My back 
arched as much as the wall would allow as I clung 
to his broad shoulders, feeling the pleasure 
wash over me like a tidal wave.  I was babbling, 
"Oh fuck me, you fuck me so good, come for me, 
want to feel you come inside me.  Oh God!  Fill me 
up, Baby! Let go!"

I hadn't fully recovered yet as the aftershocks 
rocked my frame, but I did open my eyes.

I was just in time to see the agony of his 
wrenching climax shoot through him.  So much for 
gentle, loving sex on date night!  I couldn't 
bring myself to be disappointed.  I was like an 
addict 
and Mulder was my fix.

XXXXXXXXXX

I shouted from somewhere deep in my throat as I 
felt my balls blowing.  "Aaahhh, fffuuuccckkk, 
Ssccuullyyy!  Aaaaawwwwww!  I lloovvee yyoouu!"  I 
roared as I filled her boiling cunt to the brim 
with my hot juices.  I collapsed against her, 
feeling her body slide down the wall and away from 
mine.  

She stood on tiptoes as I backed away slowly.  Her 
arms wrapped around my waist, holding 
herself upright.  We panted in each other's ears 
as we came down.  After a minute or so, I raised 
my face to hers and smiled gently at her.  
"Looking forward to tomorrow, are we, Scully?"

She grinned like a Cheshire cat but didn't answer 
me.  "Hungry?"

I inhaled, now smelling the wonderful smell of 
spaghetti sauce and cheese for the first time.  
"Yeah, I'm hungry all right," I replied, my double 
meaning not lost on my quick partner.

She grinned again and stood up straight.  "Let me 
get dressed."

"Naw, let's eat naked."

"You are incorrigible," she replied.

"M ... me?" I stuttered.  "Why the nerve, ..." I 
began.

She punched me gently in the shoulder and said, 
"It's ready, let's eat."

"What do you have for dessert?" I asked as I 
straightened up and reached for my boxers. 

She held her panties in her hand, looked down at 
her crotch, and tilted it toward me.  She looked 
up, raising an eyebrow in question.  I guffawed 
and pulled my boxers up, snapping the elastic 
around my waist.   

"I might take you up on that," I said as she wiped 
herself with a dishtowel and tossed another one 
to me.  She pulled her panties on, and slipped her 
sport bra over her head.

We sat down like that in our underwear and ate 
quietly, throwing lascivious and amused glances 
at one another.

Once our bellies were full, I intended to take her 
into the bedroom and see if we couldn't work off 
some more of our sexual tension.  Christ, 
sometimes it was nearly constant.  I wasn't 
complaining though.  I loved her spontaneity.  I 
adored that she would let me take her anytime, 
anyplace practically.  I'd been surprised by that 
early on, expecting her to be reserved sexually 
as she was in her professional life.  

I don't think I'd ever been so wrong about 
anything in my entire life, and I'd been wrong 
plenty of 
times.   

Maybe I'd take her in the Jacuzzi tub.  I found 
myself looking forward to tomorrow almost as 
much as she was.  Was that possible?  I don't 
know, but I knew I couldn't wait to see her taken 
again by that gigantic tool.  There was something 
so exciting to me about seeing her towered 
over by his gigantic body.  I knew how it made me 
feel and I knew it had the same effect on him.  
He was much bigger and broader than me.  Scully 
looked like a china doll beneath him.  I knew 
she wasn't fragile though.  I knew she wouldn't 
break.  I shivered as the image of his fat rubbery 
knob splitting her tiny slit flashed across my 
mind.  Watching that horse cock lay her open had 
been one of the most exciting sights I'd ever 
seen.

I opened my eyes to see her staring at me with a 
quirky smile on her face.  "Sure you want to 
wait until tomorrow?"

"Don't start that now, Scully.  We agreed."

She smiled.  "I know, I was just teasing."

XXXXXXXXXX
MULDERS HIDE-A-WAY
FALLS CHURCH, VA
FRIDAY EVENING

The time was finally here.  I heard his tentative 
knock on the front door and moved to open it.  I'd 
left Scully tied in the Hide-A-Way, strapped into 
the swing that hung from the ceiling.  She was 
gloriously naked and blindfolded.

I knew Walter was going to be out of his mind with 
anticipation.  Who wouldn't be?  Scully and I 
had agreed beforehand to let him just take her 
first.  I'd already made love to her about an hour 
ago to take my own edge off.  I'd showered and 
gotten into my robe and then got her set up.

Walter smiled at me as I opened the door.  I waved 
him in and closed and locked the door 
behind him.  He was wearing sweatpants and a 
muscle shirt, no socks and boat shoes.  Easy on, 
easy off, I thought.  Good move.

"Is everything still O.K.?" he asked.  I could 
tell he was still nervous.

I smiled broadly at him.  "Why don't we go 
downstairs and find out.  She's waiting for you."

"Waiting for me?" he asked, swallowing harshly.

"I got her ready for you.  We decided that you get 
her first."

"Oh God," he murmured, his chest already beginning 
to expand in quick breaths as his arousal 
began. 

"Let's go."

I headed for the basement door and he followed 
without another word.

We entered the Hide-A-Way and I glanced at Scully.  
She was hanging docilely in the swing, her 
legs together, ankles crossed, her hands bound 
above her head.  The straps held her thighs 
firmly so she didn't need to strain to stay 
upright.

I heard Walter gasp at the sight of her, her 
arched back throwing her puckered nipples nearly 
straight up into the air.

I slipped off my robe and tossed it onto the bed 
as I made my way to her.  I slipped behind her 
and wrapped my hands around her torso from behind.  
My hands slid up to cup her breasts.  
They were firm and taut and ready.  Walter was 
shedding his clothes quickly.  "Are you still 
sure?" he asked again.

"This one is for you, Walter," Scully said softly.  
"We already made love earlier.  You get to do 
anything you want as long as I stay in this swing.  
Go ahead and take the edge off."

He actually whimpered.  I raised my eyebrows, 
looking at him over her head as my fingers 
gripped her nipples in a punishing grip.  She 
cried out as I tugged viciously on her hardened 
nubs, watching them stretch more and more with 
every tight pull.  In no time, they were standing 
out a half an inch.

Walter had walked away briefly but returned with 
nipple clamps.  He looked at me for approval 
and I smiled at him, nodding.  I dipped my head to 
her ear.  "Nipple Clamps, Doll."

She whimpered and arched her back, forcing her 
mounds into my palms.  The use of her pet 
name now automatically triggered a response in 
her.  I chuckled at her reaction.  Walter's hand 
replaced one of mine as he pinched her nipple as 
he stood in front of her.

"Awwww, yeah!" she cried out as he attached the 
first one.  Her nipple flushed a bright red, 
engorged with blood.  She panted and a fine sheen 
of sweat broke out on her upper lip.

I cupped her breast gently, squeezing her flesh to 
increase the bite of the clamp.  "Oh Fuck!" she 
muttered and I saw her thighs quiver, knowing her 
crotch was gushing with the juice of her 
arousal.  Walter moved to the other breast and 
repeated his move.  

"Oh man," he muttered, as they were both in place.  
"I've been waiting all week for this."  I 
backed away from her and let his hands replace 
mine.  He was not gentle.  I could see his 
arousal had washed away the last of his 
hesitation.  He was totally fixated on Scully.  
She could 
feel and hear him, but she was blindfolded and 
didn't know what was coming next.

"I kept seeing these nipple clamps and remembering 
how they made your little pussy boil over 
when Mulder used them on you."

One hand reached down and she yelped as he jerked 
her legs wide apart.  He didn't even have 
to check to see if she was ready.  We could both 
see the fluids leaking out of her, shining on her 
spread thighs.  He murmured, "I've got blue balls 
from being hard all day."

He took his massive tool and pressed the plum 
sized head against her tight entrance.  His hands 
gripped her waist.  He was still for about a 
minute, letting the tension build.  She whimpered 
in 
anticipation.  His thumb reached out and raked 
over her distended nipples, she cried out "Oh 
God!"

I whispered in her ear, "Oh Doll, his cock head is 
turning purple it's so hard and full of blood, 
just 
for you."

Scully's breaths were wavering as she breathed 
deeply and let the clamps bite into her nipples.  
"Ohhhhwwww, it hurts, so good," she moaned after a 
particularly deep breath.  "Oh Walter, 
please!"

That was the end of Walter's control and he 
grabbed her hips and shoved his cock into her 
slit, 
forcing her lips to fold in and back.  Scully 
yelped, "Aaahhhh!"

He stopped.  He was only half way in with that one 
stroke and despite her readiness it was a 
tight fit.  He was half again as thick as I was 
and I was no slouch.  The sight of her lips folded 
in 
made it look like he was forcing his enormous rod 
into her cunt and I moaned, no longer able to 
keep from touching myself.  She'd nearly shaved 
herself, leaving only a small triangle of hair on 
her mound.  You could see everything perfectly.

I knew how much my voice excited Scully so I 
decided to talk to her and tell her what I saw.  
The 
imagination is often better than seeing the 
reality.  Although in this case, it might be a 
draw for 
me.  I stroked myself as I talked in her ear.

"Oh Doll.  He's so big he's folded your lips 
inside.  Looks like he can't fit.  Just when I 
think he 
can't spread you further, ... God, Doll, his pole 
looks so good, fuck me, he's spreading you even 
wider."

She whimpered.

He shoved harder, with steady pressure and watched 
himself sink into her hole.  His lips curled 
back against his teeth as he enjoyed the pleasure 
of her tight folds.  

I stepped behind her again and cupped her breasts.  
"Your little tunnel is spread so wide, Doll.  
Oh man, it looks close to splitting wide open.  
Doesn't look like it can spread any further.  How 
does it feel, Scully?"

"Soooo gooood, Lover.  He stuffs me so full.  
Awww, Walter, please fuck me."  I wasn't immune 
to her using my pet name either as I felt another 
rush of arousal that stiffened me to the point 
where my shaft began to throb and ache.

"You're going to get fucked all right," he said.  
"Just a little more."

"More?" she squeaked.

"Oh yeah, baby, at least three more inches," I 
informed her.

She lost her restraint and patience and cried out, 
"Fuck me, Walter.  Jesus, do it!  Hurt me with 
it!  Take me hard!"

He didn't hesitate this time.  She wailed as he 
pulled his giant rod back till just his enormous 
head was inside and slammed into her again, 
forcing another inch deeper into her.  He leaned 
forward and mashed his mouth down over hers, 
grunting as he lunged forward, jerking his hips, 
once, twice, three times, until he was almost 
imbedded inside her.

XXXXXXXXXX

I screamed.

I couldn't help it as my body shook from the 
forceful penetration.  He held still for a second 
or two 
once fully inside me.  Then his mouth covered mine 
and I could barely breath.  He began 
slamming his gigantic organ in and out of my 
unbearably stretched cunt.  I heard Mulder cooing 
in my ear and then giving Walter encouragement.

"That's it, Walt, this is all for you.  Don't 
worry about her pleasure.  Just use her for yours.  
Use 
my Baby Doll.  Make her sore.  Stretch her wide 
open with that monster prick.    Just fuck her 
hard and fast until your balls blow."

"Ahhhh," he cried out.  He grunted in between 
violent thrusts.  "Nothing ... better ... than 
your ... 
little, tiny pussy ... wrapped around me ...  so 
fucking tight.  You were ... made for this, Scully 
... 
to be fucked ... and fucked ... and fucked! ... 
Almost there!  I want to press ... my aching balls 
... 
into your little ... juicy hole!"

I couldn't believe it.  Almost there!  He wasn't 
all the way in? I was sure he had been.  I 
couldn't 
see!  I felt a moment of panic, but then Mulder's 
hand squeezed my breasts, making the clamps 
torture my burning nipples.  Streaks of burning 
pain raced down from my nipples and spread hot 
warmth through my guts.  Mulder wouldn't let 
anything bad happen to me.  I relaxed in my 
restraints.

Walter's meaty hands gripped the top of my pelvis 
and yanked me forcefully toward him as he 
threw his large body toward me, driving his cock 
deep into my belly.   I felt him hit something way 
up inside me.  He was forced way up my cunt pipe, 
making it feel bloated as the muscles 
strained to the limit, burning with the stretch of 
the tender muscles.  He was stretching my cervix 
with every heavy blow of his wide cock head, 
causing a sharp cringe of slight pain with every 
thrust.

"Oh Jesus!  You're going to take all of me again.   
I'm gonna take your inner cherry, Scully.  I've 
got to have it."

My inner cherry?  Huh?  I didn't have long to 
think about it.  He pulled back and rammed into me 
with incredible speed.  Then I felt it; he hit my 
battered cervix with brutal force.  It spasmed and 
then blossomed with aching warmth, the pain 
spearing through me as I felt him push through 
into 
my womb.  I could actually feel his enormous cock 
growing even longer and thicker within me 
with every pulse.  I screamed.

Walter shouted, "Shit, Yeah!  I'm so deep! Oh God!  
You're so small!  OhmyfuckingGod, I 
feelsofuckinghuge!  I love feeling like a giant.    
I'm so hard.  Oh shit, mycockhurts, 
mycockhurtssofucking good!"

I heard Mulder moan and step away from me. My 
torso swayed slightly in the swing without his 
support.  My arms were bound over my head.  
Walter's grip on my hips preventing me from 
swinging, but my head flopped back.  I felt one of 
his arms snake around my body, anchoring me 
to his solid stomach muscles that flexed with 
effort as he used his hips to drive himself in and 
out 
of me.  This made his pubic bone roll over my 
clit.

My stretched walls were squeezing his dick.  He 
leaned in and lapped at my tortured nipple and I 
felt my climax sear through me like hot, white 
lightening, all my nerve endings crying out at the 
same time.  "Ahh, it hurts!  So good, oh you make 
me come so hard!  More!  Don't stop.  Oh yes, 
Walter!  You make it hurt so good!"  I was 
babbling like I was out of mind.  I was, out of 
mind with 
pleasure.

I felt his hands leave my hips and a second later, 
they landed on the side of my breasts, gripping 
hard enough to leave bruises and mashing them 
together from the sides.  The clamps bit into my 
flesh, the sensation getting past the numbness 
that now resided in my nipples.  I cried out as 
another peak hit me the same time as the pain in 
my breasts.

Mulder was suddenly there again, yanking, pulling 
a strap, and lifting my legs higher and wider 
until they were in my armpits.  His erection was 
pressed between my butt cheeks and he enjoyed 
the rocking of my body against him as Walter 
continued his unrelenting assault on my body. 

Walter sucked and chewed on my lips, squeezing my 
breasts, his thrusting never stopping.  The 
rhythmic gripping of my breasts sent knifing pain 
into my nipples.  My stretched walls spasmed 
with each squeeze of his hands as he thrust 
inside.

He lifted away from me and I could feel his 
panting breath on my face.  He muttered into my 
mouth, "So sexy, you're so god damned sexy, 
Scully.  You make me burn for you.  Keep coming 
for me.  Love to make you come, feel you squeeze 
me so tight with your little pussy."

I was helpless and sinking into pure sensation.  
He continued to hump me, as his sweat dripped 
onto my body.  I moaned helplessly under his 
assault, awash in a sea of sensation as my body 
shuddered with one continuous climax.  This was 
supposed to be all for him, but I'd come twice 
already anyway.  He was still babbling.  "Gonna 
make your cherry come on my cock."

He plunged to the bottom of my tunnel.  I could 
feel my flesh straining around his hot hardness.  
He pushed through my cervix into my womb again.  
He ground into me, not retreating.  "I'm 
gonna pump you so full!  I'm gonna empty my balls 
right into your belly.  Oh here it comes, 
beautiful!"

"Oh yes!  Don't stop.  Oh Jesus, it hurts so 
good!"

He rocked into me, pushing deep, pulled back to 
stretch the membrane as he met the resistance 
as he backed out.  He would rock back in before he 
could slide past the muscle and out of my 
womb.  I screamed again with the pleasure/pain, as 
my body convulsed in hard, jerking spasms 
from the most incredible orgasm.  I was having a 
cervical climax.   I'd had them before, but they 
were uncommon, and I'd never experienced one with 
a cock holding my entrance open.  The 
pleasure was blinding as my cervix convulsed in 
hard waves that bordered on being painful.

 Finally, he bellowed, "Ohhh, Chhhrrriiisssstttt!"

I felt his cock throb and his hot cum squirt with 
incredible force up inside me.  He ground his 
pubic bone against my clit and I shouted out and 
tossed my head as another sharp, quick, climax 
snapped through my body hard on the heels of the 
other, which was still in motion.  My cervix 
was clamping down on his cock like a vice as he 
ejaculated directly into my womb.  His grinding 
hips crushed my clit and made my vagina convulse 
around his enormous shaft.  I was having two 
different kinds of climaxes at the same time.
 
"More?!" he asked through clenched teeth.

I chanted, "More, more, more!"

He ground his hips into me as he swiveled them.  
In a quick move that I didn't anticipate, he 
released both nipple clamps.  Blood rushed into 
the numb tips, hot and stinging pain knifing 
through my breasts.  "Aaawww Damn, it hurts!  Oh 
God!" I screamed.  Oh God, it hurt.  I didn't 
think I could take it.  

But my twat reacted instantly to the wonderful 
rush of pain and gripped him even harder as 
another round of clenching spasms shook my womb 
and vagina.  The pain in my breasts shot 
straight to my core.  I blacked out for a second 
but came to instantly, and he shouted again, "Oh 
Yeah! Take it all, squeeze it out of me.  Milk me 
dry with your little pussy! Oh so good!"

His thrusts became shorter, jerky, and clumsy and 
finally as he flexed his hips against mine, he 
let some of his weight rest on my chest.  I knew 
he wasn't collapsing entirely, even though the 
swing would have been able to take the weight.  I 
was grateful as my breaths burned in and out 
of my lungs from the workout.  I'd barely moved 
and yet felt as though I'd run a marathon.  

He stood straight up gingerly and very slowly 
backed out of my now gaping vagina.  I felt a 
mouth lap at me gently, soothing my tortured buds 
and knew it wasn't Mulder.  It was Walter.  I 
shivered and then hung limply in my restraints.

I felt Mulder gently remove the blindfold and 
smooth my sweaty hair away from my forehead and 
tuck it behind my ears.  I smiled up at him as he 
gently removed each of the straps.

My legs slid to the floor, pins and needles 
causing me to gasp as my feet made contact with 
the 
floor. My arms were released and I felt my body 
sway as blood rushed from my head into my 
legs.  Mulder was instantly there, supporting my 
body.  Walter was peering at me with a look of 
awe on his face.

"I still feel like I must be dreaming," he 
murmured.  "I've never had such incredible sex as 
I've 
had with you."

Mulder smiled.  "Let's all get comfortable on the 
bed, I think your legs are a little wobbly, aren't 
they, Doll?"

"Yeah, Lover," I breathed out and took a tentative 
step, collapsing onto the bed. 

XXXXXXXXXX

Mulder walked away and returned with the box of 
baby wipes that we always kept handy along 
with washcloths and towels.  He gently cleaned me 
up as I lay down on my back.  I hissed at the 
soreness of my lips as he grazed them with the 
wipe.  I glanced at Walter sitting next to me and 
looking down at my face.  He frowned. 

"Did I hurt you?"

"Hurt me so good," I joked, and closed my eyes, 
humming as Mulder continued his gentle 
ministrations.  I loved the sex, rough or not, but 
this part was almost more intimate in many ways.  
I loved having Mulder take care of me.

I levered up onto my elbows and looked at Mulder 
as he stood at the side of bed and turned 
away to throw away the wipe and set the washcloth 
on the sink in the corner.  He was still hard!  
Oh my God, he hadn't come.

"Lover, let me take care of you," I said softly as 
he turned to return to the bed.  

He smiled.  "I'll be all right.   You rest for a 
few minutes."

He stood at the side of the bed again and I 
reached out, wrapping my hand around him.  He 
bucked involuntarily and groaned.  "You're close 
aren't you?"
I asked.

He nodded.  I glanced at Walter expecting him to 
be staring at me since that's what he'd done 
through out last session and since he came in here 
tonight.  I couldn't see him earlier but I could 
feel the intense force of his regard as he'd taken 
me.  I'd known he was totally focused on me.  
Instead, his eyes were riveted on Mulder's 
throbbing cock in my hand.

I smiled as a wicked thought crossed my mind.  
Would they go for it? I wondered.  I felt a ripple 
of excitement and realized I'd squeezed Mulder's 
shaft when he moaned and bucked into me 
again.  I looked up and met his eyes and then 
looked at Walter.

Very carefully and softly I asked, "Walter, do you 
want to take care of it?"

"What?!" both men cried at the same time.

I shrugged looking sheepish.  "Sorry, just thought 
I'd ask."

Mulder shuddered and I watched his eyes close.  I 
looked back to Walter and watched as his 
tongue snaked out of lick his lips.  I didn't 
move.  Walter croaked, "I want to watch you suck 
him.  
You are such an incredible cocksucker."

The words should have insulted me, but in my 
current state of post orgasmic bliss, I preened 
under his compliment, flashing him a wide smile 
filled with false modesty.  He returned my smile.  
"Doll?" Mulder croaked as his cock twitched in my 
hand.  "Now, Doll," he growled.

I smiled and leaned forward, flicking my tongue 
over his head and lapping up the precum.  "Oh 
shit," he muttered.

"Lay down, Lover."  

He obeyed without question.  It wasn't often I 
gave him a command, but he usually gave in when 
I did.  He crawled onto the bed, his heavy sex 
swaying between his legs.

He lay back with a sigh and I knelt beside him.  
Walter was on the other side, lying on his side, 
head in hand, elbow supporting the weight.  He 
watched without moving.  Only his eyes flickered 
from Mulder's tormented face to his cock, which I 
now had in my hand again.

I looked him in the eye and I could see the desire 
there.  I glanced at his waist and saw him 
beginning to harden again.  He wanted to join in 
but he was unsure of intruding at this point.  I 
noticed that he always waited for permission from 
Mulder.

 I leaned over and covered the head of his shaft.  
I licked him and sucked gently. He moaned 
again his eyes closed.  I cupped his balls and 
slid my mouth over him, moving up and down in a 
gentle rhythm.  He sighed deeply, enjoying the 
sensations.  My mouth was barely putting any 
pressure him.

I sucked a little harder and he groaned.  I lifted 
my mouth up and took him in hand, stroking 
gently.  His eyes popped open and he looked at me, 
his eyes questioning.

"Relax, Baby."  

His head flopped back onto the pillow and he 
closed his eyes, his hips beginning to flex up and 
down in time with my strokes.  I looked at Walter 
meaningfully, then at Mulder's cock, then back 
to Walter.   I said, "Lover, do you want to take 
me from behind?"

His eyes popped open and he panted harshly.  

"Wanna fuck my ass?"

He nodded his head curtly.  I moved out of the way 
as he maneuvered behind me.  I came up on 
all fours and motioned for Walter to come around 
in front of me.  He immediately looked at 
Mulder.  I couldn't see, but obviously he must 
have nodded at him because Walter scrambled 
across the bed and arranged himself so that he was 
leaning against the headboard, with a 
couple of pillows behind his back.  I moved up and 
straddled his bulky thighs.

I reached out and took him in my hand, feeling him 
grow harder by the second.  I leaned down 
and licked at his pre-ejaculate on the swollen 
head of his cock and he sighed deeply.  Mulder 
was busy using my own natural lubrication to 
moisten and probe my rear end.  I groaned just as 
I 
wrapped my mouth around the head of Walter's 
shaft.  It was his turn to moan and I heard 
Mulder ask quietly.  "You ready, Doll?"

I lifted enough to say, "Yes, Lover."

His hands gripped my cheeks, spreading them wide 
as he pressed gently against my tightened 
muscle.  I felt it spasm and let loose as he 
slowly sank inside me.  My moaning vibrations 
washed over the shaft in my mouth and I felt 
Walter harden and lengthen against my tongue.  He 
was fully erect now and it was an awesome sight.

Mulder was not being rough, exceptionally gentle 
in fact, maybe to counteract the brutal fucking 
I'd just endured, even though he was in the other 
hole.  I was glad actually as my vagina was 
sore and I could still feeling it stinging from 
the earlier intrusion.  Mulder thrust gently but 
deeply 
and I heard his breathing increase, his hands 
moving to my waist.  He was taking his time, 
drawing out the moment.  I knew he was close and 
so didn't tighten my muscles.  I wanted to 
enjoy begin with both of them for a little longer.

Walter's hands came down to brush my shoulders and 
then to gently push the hair back from my 
face so he could see what was going on.  He moaned 
softly, "Feels so good, Scully.  Oh, yes, 
blow me with that beautiful mouth. God, you are so 
sexy.  Please, suck me, oh suck me hard!"

"Mmmmm," the only response I could muster.  I 
hollowed my cheeks as I increased the suction 
on his swollen shaft.

I felt Mulder speed up a little but he was still 
being pretty slow and gentle, more like rocking 
into 
me than thrusting but I could feel him harden a 
little more.  He groaned, "Oh, I'm not gonna last, 
Doll.  You'll have to make yourself come."

I lifted off Walter's towering erection and 
muttered, "It's all right, Lover, come for me."  
Even 
though Mulder's desires were always satisfied when 
we played, he liked to make me come.  He 
didn't like to leave me hanging, so to speak.  I 
could hear the regret mingled with the excitement 
in his voice.

I descended again and sucked hard, knowing Mulder 
was only a couple of strokes away from 
completion and wanting us to come together.  I 
took my weight on one arm and reached down 
with the other to swipe over my clit.  A slow 
release waved through my tunnel and backside, 
tightening my muscles around Mulder's cock.  He 
jerked, groaned once and I felt the hot, 
spreading warmth of his cum filling my rear 
entrance.

Walter was still hard but I could tell he was 
close.  In this position I couldn't deep throat 
him but 
was taking all I could.  Mulder simply held still 
inside me as I reached up and cupped his balls, 
rolling them through my fingers gently.  That was 
all it took and he bucked into my mouth, 
breathing out, "Oh Yeah!  Suck me dry!"

Four long, slow ejaculations later, I felt him 
soften on my tongue and I licked him clean.  
Mulder 
grunted and slowly backed out of me, massaging my 
rear cheeks to close my now stretched 
muscles.

I collapsed onto the bed with what I imagined was 
a goofy expression.  They were both smiling 
down at me.  I was suddenly ravenous and asked, 
"Anybody hungry?"

They nodded.  Mulder said, "Let's get cleaned up 
and see what we can find in the kitchen."

We all put on robes and made our way up the stairs 
to the bigger bathroom to clean up.  I hissed 
when I wiped myself and wondered at the soreness, 
thinking it was worse than last time.  I might 
have to have him use some KY jelly next time.

XXXXXXXXXX

We cleaned up and headed for the kitchen.  Scully 
had beat us there and I'd heard the 
refrigerator open and close a second ago.

I entered the kitchen with Walter on my heels and 
stopped dead in my tracks.  The bottom was 
about to drop out of my world.  Scully was holding 
her robe aside from her legs.  With a detached 
expression, she looked up at me calmly and said, 
"I'm bleeding."



PART 2 (R)
FALLS CHURCH MEDICAL CENTER
FALLS CHURCH, VA
FRIDAY EVENING - 10:00 PM

I sat with my head in my hands in the waiting room 
as I listened to Walter pace, wearing a hole in 
the dingy indoor/outdoor carpeting that covered 
the cement floors of the ER waiting room.  We'd 
rushed her to the hospital, not bothering with 
calling an ambulance. 

She insisted that she was not in any pain, but I 
both Walter and I panicked anyway.  I'd called 
her OB/GYN by cell phone in route and she had been 
waiting for us when Walter peeled into the 
ER parking lot, practically on two wheels.

I'd picked her up and baby carried her into the 
ER, as Dr. Linda Fischbein met us with a 
stretcher.  She was pushed into an examining room.  
We were pushed out of the room by two, 
burly orderlies who said we couldn't be there for 
the exam, maybe later.

Walter stopped pacing and I responded to the 
sudden absence of sound.  I looked up at him with 
what I knew was a haunted expression.  He opened 
his mouth and closed it again.  Then he took 
a deep breath and said in a rush, "Mulder, if she 
loses this baby, I'll stand on the firing range 
and 
let you put a bullet in my head."

His mouth quivered with disgust and self-loathing 
and he couldn't meet my eyes.  I croaked out 
around the lump in my throat.  "It's not your 
fault.  She trusts me to protect her in those 
situations 
when she's out of her mind and I didn't do it.  I 
got caught up too.  I have to be more aware.  We 
talked about this, curbing the rough stuff.  We 
didn't think she was in any danger for another 
month or so though.  She shouldn't have been.  I 
don't know what happened."

"I'll never forgive myself, Mulder."

"Neither will I," I rejoined, looking at the 
floor.  "But we don't know yet."

"No, we don't know yet," he said quietly.  After a 
pause he said, "I hate not knowing."

I looked up again, feeling the sting of tears.  
"We want this so much, God!  How could I be so 
stupid!  She CAN'T lose this baby.  It will 
destroy her!  Christ, it will destroy me ..."

I felt his meaty hand come down on my shoulder and 
I flinched involuntarily.  He let go and 
backed off a step.  "I'm sorry," I whispered.  
"It's not you.  I know you're trying to ... be 
comforting.  But I just can't have you touch me 
right now."

He nodded, understanding.  "Mulder, I need to tell 
you something."

I looked up, not really wanting to hear it.  
"What?  Can it wait?"

He shook his head. "No, I don't want you blaming 
yourself if this goes ... badly."

"I don't understand."

"I know.  Did you know what I meant when I said I 
was going to ... take her ... uh ... inner 
cherry?"

I scrunched my brow, vaguely remembering that.  
"Yeah, I think so.  It didn't really register with 
me at the moment what you were going to do, but I 
know what it means if that's what you're 
asking."

He nodded.  "I pushed inside, Mulder," he said 
quietly.

I just stared at him, not trusting myself to speak 
at that moment as I felt rage well up within me.  
I 
was angry at him, at Scully, at the whole 
situation, but mostly at myself for not being more 
careful 
and insisting we be gentle.

He continued, "Do you know what I'm saying, 
Mulder?"

I nodded sharply.  He had pushed through her 
cervix into her womb.  I hadn't even known that 
was possible in that position.  I'd done it only 
once or twice and that was with her positioned 
very 
carefully on her back with her legs in her armpits 
and me descending down on top of her with 
quite a bit of force.  But he was considerably 
bigger than I was so he was able to achieve it 
with 
her on a 45-degree angle and him standing in front 
of her.  Amazing, exciting ... and potentially 
deadly for the life she carried in her womb.  Why 
hadn't I realized?  A warning bell should have 
gone off in my head.

"I should have stopped you," I said, feeling the 
rage dissipate and taking the blame.  "It was my 
responsibility.  I'll be lucky if she ever trusts 
me again."

"Mulder, don't do this.  It's not your fault.  
It's MINE."

We both jerked around as Dr. Fischbein said, 
"What's your fault?"

I jumped to my feet and we both stood like statues 
waiting for her to tell us what was going on.  
She was wearing hospital scrubs with a white lab 
coat, unbuttoned down the front over it.  Her 
hair was in a sloppy brunette ponytail and her 
surgical mask was hanging around her throat, 
leaving her face uncovered.  The corners of her 
mouth jerked up in a quirky, amused smile and I 
felt the anger build in me again.  I was not 
amused and this was no laughing matter.

She must have seen something in my face because 
she smiled softly then, no amusement and 
said, "She's fine.  She's going to be fine."

I heard Walter release a breath he'd been holding 
but I wasn't relieved yet.  "And ... and the 
baby?" I asked haltingly, licking my lips.

She continued to smile.  "Everything's fine."

"Why was she bleeding?" I asked, needing to know 
the particulars.  

"A small blood vessel in her vagina broke, about 
half way up.  It caused a small hemorrhage but I 
was able to cauterize it and stop the bleeding.  
There's no damage to her cervix or womb ... or to 
the baby."

I sagged in relief.  "Thank God!" I choked out 
around the sob in my throat, covering my eyes with 
my hands, not wanting her to see my tears.

She touched my hand gently and I lowered it, 
taking a deep breath and focusing on her face 
again.  "I do need to speak with you though."

I nodded and she motioned for us to take a seat.  
We sat gingerly on the edge of the 
uncomfortable plastic chairs.  She remained 
standing.  "We might want to have this 
conversation 
privately," she said with a pointed look at 
Skinner.

I shook my head.  "It's all right, he's a ... 
close friend."

She nodded and then continued, "She fine, but I do 
want to speak with you about your ... sex 
life."

I looked at her steadily, wondering how much 
Scully had told her.  I figured she probably 
wouldn't have mentioned Skinner.  "Was I too 
rough?" I asked, my voice ragged with guilt.

I hadn't even been inside her vagina other than 
earlier today, but the doctor didn't know that and 
she didn't need to know that.  I saw Walter open 
his mouth and I shot him a warning glance.  He 
snapped his jaw shut and I watched a muscle jump 
in his jaw.

She pursed her lips as though trying to think of a 
tactful way to say something.  I interrupted as 
she opened her mouth. "Don't sugar coat it, just 
tell me."

She was probably wondering about Walter's comment 
that it was his fault.

She nodded firmly and said, "Sex is fine during 
pregnancy.  Generally right through the second 
trimester, regular sex is fine.  In the last 
trimester, some precautions need to be made so no 
unnecessary pressure is not put on the stomach and 
things like that, but there's no reason not to 
have sex."

I waited, knowing there was more.  

She sighed, "However, Mrs. Mulder is a high risk 
pregnancy because of her age.  The chances 
of the amniotic sac detaching from the uterus are 
slim, but there is a chance of that, and a 
slightly higher one because of her age and the 
fact that she shouldn't have been able to get 
pregnant in the first place."

"Can you explain that more?" I asked.

"Yes.  You see when women are barren; they 
generally don't produce the same amount estrogen 
that menstruating, fertile women do.  When you 
menstruate, the uterine lining fills with blood in 
preparation to receive an egg.  When the 
fertilization doesn't occur, the lining breaks 
down and 
the woman has her period."

"I know all that," I said, trying to hide my 
impatience and not doing a very good job, judging 
by 
the look on her face.

"I'm sorry," she said.  "I don't mean to insult 
your intelligence, but it's impossible for me to 
know 
how educated you are about women's anatomy.  Even 
enlightened men often don't know 
anything about this ... sad but true."

"I'm very educated about it and not embarrassed to 
talk about it," I replied.

"Good, that makes my job easier.  When a woman 
doesn't ovulate, the uterus does not fill with 
blood and those tissues do not get the benefit of 
the regular process of moisturization.  
Therefore, the tissues tend to become a little 
less ... flexible or pliant for lack of a better 
term.  
Mrs. Mulder wasn't ovulating and wasn't having her 
period.  Therefore, her uterine lining is not 
as healthy as a normal woman's.  It's fine and 
perfectly capable of carrying this baby and 
nourishing the baby.  I've examined her closely 
with internal sonograms, etc., and everything 
seems to be fine.  Her uterus is functioning 
properly.

"But?"  Why did I sense a 'but' here?

"But ... " she began with a wry smile; "I would 
like to keep careful watch on the condition of her 
uterine lining.  There is a condition that can 
occur if the lining begins to dry up.  It stops 
the flow 
of fluids to the amniotic sac and can result in a 
condition where she doesn't have enough 
amniotic fluid.  This makes it harder to nourish 
the baby.  It can be treated and is not life 
threatening to the baby if it's caught early and 
treated, but I want to watch for it.

"Also, Brackston Hicks is a condition whereby ..."

I interrupted her, "False labor."

"Yes, rough sex can induce Brackston Hicks later 
in the pregnancy."

"So in short ....?"

"In short, have sex, but be ... gentle with her.  
Hold off on anything ... rough or too jarring to 
her 
womb.  Do you understand?"

I nodded.  "Yes, thank you, doctor.  I'm sorry I 
was so curt with you."

Scully must have known all these conditions were 
possible.  Either she hadn't thought she was in 
danger of them or she had not wanted to curtail my 
enjoyment.  Either way, I was slightly miffed 
that Scully had not shared this with me.  I may 
have approached things very differently.

"No problem.  I know you were scared, but she 
really is going to be fine.  And I don't even 
necessarily expect any of the problems, but they 
are things to look for.  I'd like her to come in 
once a month for the duration of her pregnancy to 
have her amniotic fluid levels checked and her 
uterine lining examined.  If it shrinks, due to 
lack of blood then the egg can detach more easily.  
If we detect that, you might have to suspend sex, 
but right now, all seems fine.  Her vagina will 
be sore for about a week due to the cauterization.  
After that everything should be fine."

"Maybe we should just suspend those activities all 
together."

She smiled and shook her head.  "You could try, 
but I doubt Dana will go for it."

I smiled briefly, knowing how much Scully enjoyed 
sexual activity after her long draught.  "The 
baby is more important," I said.

She nodded.  "Yes, but sex and orgasms can be 
healthy for the baby as well."

"Really?" Walter asked.

She flashed a smile again.  "Yes, I don't know how 
much stock you put in the whole mind, body, 
spirit thing, but I try to treat the whole woman.  
If the mother is in good shape physically, which 
Mrs. Mulder is, then the more relaxed and content 
she is, the better off the baby will be.  Not to 
mention that orgasms exercise those muscles that 
don't normally get used and make labor and 
delivery easier when the time comes.  Plus, there 
have been studies about the relationship of 
fetal development in relation to the mother's 
state of mind and trauma's experienced during 
pregnancy, whether they are emotional or physical.  
Don't worry, Mr. Mulder.  Sex if fine, you just 
have to be gentle."

I nodded.  "When can I see her?"

"You can see her now if you like.  I cauterized 
with a local so she wasn't put under.  She's 
perfectly coherent.  I've given her a non-narcotic 
painkiller.  I steer away from narcotics with 
pregnant women if at all possible."

"Thank you ... thank you for everything, doctor."

"No problem.  That's my job.  Now I want to hold 
her for an hour or so and make sure the 
cauterization holds.  If so, she can go home.  
She's in Exam Room 3."  She turned and made her 
way to the nurse's station, probably to check on 
the next case.

I started off down the hall with Walter close on 
my heels.  He tapped my forearm and I stopped.  
He said, "Do you want me to wait?"

"Could you?  Just give me a minute alone with her.  
I'll call you in shortly."

"Sure, no problem."

He turned and went back to the waiting room.  I 
glanced at him and saw him start to pace again.  
Then I put him out of my mind as I hurried down 
the hall to Exam Room 3.

I broke out into a smile as I went through the 
curtain and found her propped up in the bed, 
smiling and looking at a magazine.  "Scully ..." I 
said softly.

She smiled at me and held out her arms.  I went 
into them immediately, leaning over her but then 
sitting on the bed next to her hip.  "Doctor says 
you're going to be fine."

She cupped my face and kissed me gently on the 
lips.  "Yeah, it was a false alarm."

"Not really."

She looked at the sheet over her lap.  "No, but it 
wasn't the tragedy we thought."

"No, but it's cause for concern."

"Yes."  She paused and then looked up to meet my 
eyes.  "I was so scared," she whispered.

I gathered her into my arms again and we sat 
silent, rocking gently.  I kissed her hair over 
her 
ear and she hummed.  Finally, I said, "We have to 
be really careful.  Can you ever forgive me?"

She pulled back to see my face.  "Forgive you?  
For what?  It was an accident, Mulder."

"We can't afford any accidents, Scully.  Walter 
feels terrible."

"I figured he would.  I'll talk to him.  I can't 
believe this happened.  I feel so irresponsible.  
I knew 
... but I really didn't think I was in danger till 
later in my pregnancy."

"Did she say exactly what caused the blood vessel 
to break?"

She looked down again.  Then she whispered again, 
"She said I was probably stretched too far, 
too quickly."

I nodded, swallowing around a new lump in my 
throat.  "I should have stopped him.  I saw how 
hard it was for him to penetrate you."

"No Mulder.  It's been like that before.  I've 
probably just created a few weak vessels because 
of 
it.  I asked her what to do to prevent it."

"And what did she say?"

"Lots and lots of lubrication."

"Anything else?"

"Slower penetration.  I told her I was plenty 
lubricated."  She began to flush slightly as she 
looked at her lap.

I chuckled in spite of myself.  She continued, 
"She said that might be true but my own 
lubrication 
might not be enough if my partner is especially 
..."

"Especially what? Enthusiastic?"

"Uh ... well hung."

I barked out a laugh.  "Did she actually say 
that?"

"Not in those words, but that's what she meant.  I 
think she said well endowed.  She also said I 
must be a lucky woman."  I heard a little snicker 
from behind the curtain of hair that still covered 
her face.

I looked at the wall, suddenly feeling strange.  I 
didn't know whether to be relieved or upset that 
Walter was more well endowed than me.  Seems she 
would be safer with me.  Then again ... ah 
hell, I couldn't figure this out right now.

"Mulder, I told her I was lucky, that I had the 
most loving and supportive husband in the world."

I looked at her again, feeling a wave of 
protective emotion wash through me.  I pulled her 
gently 
to my chest again and we sat like that for several 
minutes.  "I love you so much, Scully.  We can't 
screw this up.  It may be our only chance."

"I know.  I've done a lot of thinking in the last 
couple of hours.  I was so scared, Mulder.  I want 
to 
blame someone but that's not fair.  It was my own 
choice in the end and I let it happen for the 
pleasure and I should have been more careful."

"No!  You count on me to monitor that, to set your 
limits and I let you down.  I should have been 
more careful, told him to take it easy."

"No, Mulder," she said sternly.  "We will not play 
the blame game.  No one is to blame.  None of 
us.  We made a mistake, that's all.  Now we need 
to learn from it and make sure it doesn't 
happen again, that's all.  I'm sure we'll all 
agree that this was a learning experience."

"To say the least.  I could do without any more 
learning experiences like this one, though."

She nodded.  "Me too.  We'll just have to be 
careful."

"Maybe we should stick with ... oral sex," I 
suggested tentatively.

She shook her head.  "No.  I want this baby, 
Mulder, more than I've ever wanted anything in my 
entire life, ... besides you that is."

I smiled warmly at her.  "Scully ..."

"I'm not stupid, Mulder, and I won't take chances, 
but I can't live my life in fear."
 
"Not even for six months?"

"Something could go wrong no matter what and Dr. 
Fischbein said that sex is healthy.  We both 
know that.  She doesn't know what kind of sex we 
have, so she can't comment on it, but I can 
hazard a guess.  I just need to be careful not to 
be taken roughly.  We will have sex, but it will 
need to be gentle, that's all."  She paused.  "And 
she doesn't know we do this, but I think we 
should probably avoid double penetration.  That 
stretches me to the limit."

"O.K., we'll talk about this more when we get 
home.  In the meantime, doc says you can go home 
in an hour if all goes well.  Walter wants to see 
you but he said for me to be alone with you 
first."

She leaned in and kissed me gently again.  "Go get 
him," she said softly.

I left the room and was only half way down the 
hall when he met me coming the other way.  I 
motioned for him and he fell into step beside me.  
He hesitantly pulled back the curtain and 
stepped into the small examining room.  I went to 
the far side of the bed and he approached her 
slowly, watching her face.  She smiled gently at 
him.  

He didn't sit down.  He just took her hands.  "I'm 
sorry," he said softly.

"No ones fault, Walter.  We made a mistake.  We 
won't make it again."

"I think that maybe I should ... not continue this 
with you guys."

Scully looked stricken.  "Walter ..."

"No.  I've had a lot of time to think and it would 
be best for me to back away and ... at least until 
the baby is born."

"That's not necessary," she said.

"Maybe, maybe not.  But I don't think I can live 
with myself if something happens to you or that 
baby because of me.  I don't think I'll be able to 
get past this, not while you're still pregnant."

She nodded.  "I don't agree with you and you're 
welcome to change your mind.  But like we said 
from the beginning, if you're not 100% comfortable 
with this ... then it won't work anyway and I 
don't want to destroy our friendship, no matter 
what."

He nodded and looked up at me.  "I don't mean to 
be a coward, Mulder, but I can't help it."
 
"Whatever you decide, Walter."

Scully sighed deeply.  "Let's go home and talk 
about this some more.  This isn't really the 
place.  
I don't want anyone overhearing us."

We both nodded.  She threw the covers back and 
slid gingerly to the floor, wincing slightly.  
Walter left to wait in the waiting room while I 
helped her get dressed.

Once donning sweatpants and tee shirt again, I 
stood with my hands on her hips.  "Are you really 
O.K.?" I asked.  "Up here," I clarified, tapping 
my temple.

"I will be.  Mulder, I don't ..."

"What?" I prompted.

"I don't want him to ... run away from this, not 
because he's scared.  We might never mend that 
fence and I don't want us to be uncomfortable 
around each other.  We have to work together."

"I agree.  But it's his decision Scully.  We knew 
this was one of the risks, that he could get cold 
feet, for this or some other reason."

"Yeah."  She was silent a moment.  "Take me home, 
Mulder."

I nodded and wrapped my arm around her shoulder, 
steering her into the hallway.  Without a 
word, Walter stood up and led the way out to his 
big Monte Carlo.  I slid in the back with Scully 
and he slid behind the wheel.  He backed out and 
headed for home, still not saying anything.

XXXXXXXXXX

MULDERS' HOME
FALLS CHURCH, VA
LATE FRIDAY EVENING

When we arrived, I helped Scully out of the back 
seat and she stood tentatively.  Then she 
smiled up at me.  "I really only feel a twinge 
here and there.  I'm really not in any pain."

"Good," I responded and nodded toward the door.  
She walked slowly but seemingly with ease to 
the front door.  I turned and saw Walter leaning 
against the front fender of his car.

"Aren't you coming in?" I asked.

He shook his head.  "I think I'll go home."

Scully turned then.  "Come in, Walter.  Have some 
coffee.  We need to talk."

"Scully, I should just go and leave you two 
alone."

"Not yet, Walter.  I don't want you leaving here 
thinking what you're thinking."

"You don't know what I'm thinking."

"Maybe not, but I'll bet I do.  Come in and tell 
me and we'll be sure."

He sighed loudly.  "Guys, I should just ..."

"Come inside, Walter.  I want to talk to you 
both."

He finally nodded, resigned and pushed away from 
the car and ambled slowly toward the front 
door.

I situated Scully on the couch all curled up in an 
afghan and then made my way to the kitchen to 
make coffee.  Walter sat in the wing back chair in 
the living room after I heard him making a fire 
in the fireplace.  I poured the coffee and put the 
cream and sugar on a tray with the mugs.  As I 
made my way back to the living room, I stopped to 
listen.

Walter's voice, low and calm, floated out to me in 
the hallway.  "I'm so sorry, Scully.  I don't 
deserve it, but I hope you can forgive me."

Scully replied, "There's nothing to forgive.  
There was no way we could have foreseen this and 
I'm fine."

"This time," he said, his voice still riddled with 
guilt.

She cleared her throat.  "Listen to me.  We were 
at the start of a good thing here."

"I thought so at first, although I was nervous.  
But I was more nervous about Mulder suddenly 
becoming jealous or you suddenly regretting it 
more than anything else.  I never considered that 
I was capable of really harming you."

"I like it rough, Walter and I asked for that.  
It's not your fault.  And just because I like 
something 
the best, doesn't mean that I can't set it aside 
for the sake of baby.  I'm not stupid.  That's 
what I 
intend to do.  No sacrifice is too great for this 
baby and really, setting aside my favorite 
preference for another six months or so  It isn't 
much of a sacrifice in the big scheme of things 
anyway."

"I don't know.  It seems this should be a private 
thing between you and Mulder."

"It is.  The baby is anyway.  The baby and our sex 
life are two different issues except in regard to 
being careful about the baby.  I'm not telling you 
about how it feels, and I won't be asking you to 
feel him or her kick when the time comes.  Those 
will be moments for Mulder and I as husband 
and wife."

"I could have made you miscarry, Scully.  None of 
this feels right anymore."

She sighed.  "I'm sorry you feel that way.  What 
I'm afraid of is you'll be awkward with us at work 
and we can't afford that, Walter.  I'm in love 
with my husband.  He's in love with me.  But I 
care 
about you.  You are special to both of us.  You 
realize that don't you?"

He muttered, "Yes, maybe that's why I feel even 
worse."

"Stop beating yourself up.  We all learned a 
valuable lesson and became more educated in the 
process.  Besides, just because you have to be 
gentle with me or choose not to touch me, 
doesn't mean you can't touch Mulder."

I heard him gasp a little and figured this was a 
good time to make my entrance.  I didn't want to 
be left out of this conversation, but I knew that 
he had probably needed those few minutes alone 
with her without me staring down the back of his 
neck.

They both looked up as I entered the room and 
placed the tray on the coffee table.  I fixed 
Scully's coffee and handed it to her.  Walter and 
I fixed our own and I sat on the couch next to 
Scully and pulled her legs into my lap as she sat 
sideways with her back to the armrest.

We were all silent for a moment and finally I 
couldn't stand it anymore.  "We need to decide 
what 
we are going to do here.  Otherwise, this is going 
to become really awkward.  I don't want that."

Everyone was silent for a few more seconds and 
then Scully said.  "I need to say something to 
you two."

We both looked at her expectantly.  "Of course, 
what you decide to do is totally your decision.  
It's about what you two are comfortable with.  
However, since you must be gentle with me ... that 
doesn't mean there aren't other ways for you to 
relieve your sexual urges of a rougher nature."

She looked first at me and then at Walter.  Walter 
asked, "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I get very excited by watching 
you two next to each other.  I don't think there's 
a 
darn thing wrong with it.  It's just another way 
to express your sexuality.  I know you are both a 
tad on the macho side and maybe that's holding you 
back."

We both smirked, knowing that was probably true.  
But I was secure in who I was as a man now 
for maybe the first time in my life.  Scully had 
done that for me, brushed away all those 
insecurities.  I knew I was a hot-blooded 
individual with a more than healthy sexual 
appetite.  I 
didn't need to prove that to anyone, not anymore.  
I wondered though, how secure Walter was 
with his male ego.  Did he think being with me 
would make him less of a man?
 
I'd balked at first, but couldn't deny that the 
idea was titillating.  This had to do with 
expressing 
affection and desire and sexuality.  And Scully 
was right; it was just another way to do that.  I 
hadn't had much time to think about it.  I thought 
of all the new things I could try and what an 
adventure it would be for me.  It was a whole new 
world of experiences that I might be able to 
enjoy.

She finally continued, "So ... if you two wanted 
to explore that, you could."

"What about you?" Walter asked.

"I'll be there.  I want to make love to, but I'd 
be lying if I said the idea of you two together 
didn't 
excite the hell out of me.  I could always use 
toys.  That's what toys are for too, and lord 
knows, 
we have plenty of them!"

We both chuckled, knowing how true that was.  I 
stared at Walter and found him staring back at 
me.  Scully was quiet as well and finally said, 
"Any fantasies, Mulder?"

I glanced at her.  "Yeah, I'm starting to develop 
them."

Walter chuckled, low and surprised as he looked at 
me.  He swallowed and said, "That might 
work."

"What?" Scully asked.

"I could stay away from you until the baby is born 
..."

I finished, "But still be a part of this ... thing 
we're developing."

"Thing?" Scully inquired.

I took a deep breath. "Relationship.  It's a 
relationship, no matter how you slice it."

Walter nodded.  "Yes, it is.  And I want to be 
part of it, but I ... know I'm here for ... I 
don't know.  
I'm the outsider.  You two are in love with each 
other."

"Yes we are.  Are you wanting that for yourself?" 
Scully asked.

He looked at the carpet.  "I think about it 
sometimes, what I'm missing.  It would be nice to 
come 
home to someone ... have a woman to support me and 
share things with."

I cleared my throat and he looked up at me.  "What 
about Sydney?"

"Sydney?" he asked.

"The woman you were with that started all this," I 
clarified.

Scully raised an eyebrow but otherwise was silent.

Walter swallowed.  "She's a hooker, Mulder."

"She's a woman, Walter.  One that obviously feels 
very deeply for you.  And she said straight out 
that she would leave the business for you."

"I'm not sure I could do it," he replied.

"Never know until you try."

"I could mess her up worse if I try and don't feel 
anything, or end it after she's left."

"I doubt it.  First of all, it's never a bad thing 
to bring someone in off the streets, regardless of 
what else happens.  Second, you care about her, I 
know you do."

"Yeah, but ..."

"What's the problem?  Would you have trouble 
getting past her ..."

"Profession?" he volunteered.  "Maybe, I don't 
know.  That's not it though."

"There's nothing wrong with that woman, Walter.  
She's probably out there because she has to 
be, not because she wants to be."  I paused.  "Is 
she on drugs?"

"No!" he cried.  "That's one thing she told me she 
was determined to avoid."

"Good, then cleaning her up in that regard isn't 
an issue."

"What do I do?"

"Talk to her first, find out what skills she has, 
if any."

"Besides ..."

I rolled my eyes at him.  "Obviously, besides 
that.  I mean, can she type?  Can she answer 
phones?  Is she computer literate?  Go from there.  
Help her get a job.  If she doesn't have skills, 
help her get some training through unemployment.  
And there are centers out there that 
specialize in helping people like her retrain and 
get off the street."

"I should try to help her."

"And it would give you something to think about 
besides us," Scully supplied.

I added, "And something to go to if we don't work 
out for whatever reason."

"Would I tell her about you two?" he asked.  "I 
mean she knows about Scully."

"But not about your new relationship with us," I 
said.

Scully shook her head. "Not right away.  Maybe 
later, but not at first.  You'd have to get to 
know 
her as a person and feel her out first.  Does she 
get jealous?  Stuff like that.  That would be far 
down the road."

"I doubt she has any sexual hang ups," he offered 
glibly, a smirk on his face.

Scully clucked her tongue.  "Just because she does 
things, doesn't mean she likes them, Walter.  
Be very careful about making assumptions where she 
is concerned.  If you are going to do this, 
keep an open mind and let her tell you things.  
Get to know her as though she was a stranger.  
Be her friend first."

"That will be hard.  I have a difficult time 
keeping my hands off her."

"Doesn't mean you can't hit the sheets.  I just 
mean, don't let that be the entire basis for your 
relationship."

"Like it is for me with you guys?" he joked.

Scully's face dropped, and I jumped in quickly.  
"You don't mean that."

He lost his grin.  "No, I didn't.  I didn't mean 
that the way it came out.  I care deeply for both 
of 
you.  You have to know that."

Scully smiled tentatively again.  "Sorry, I'm a 
little sensitive tonight.  Guess my emotions are 
close to the surface."

"I should go and let you get some rest."

"Walter, you can tell her about us if you need to.  
Just be sure she keeps it to herself," I added.

I didn't stop him this time when he stood up.  One 
look at Scully told me she was exhausted.  
Walter approached her and leaned down, cupping her 
face.  He spoke softly, looking into her 
eyes.  "You know I care about you.  Don't ever 
think differently.  I respect you and I admire 
you, 
both of you.  I wouldn't have been at that 
hospital if this was just about sex.  You know 
that, don't 
you?"

She nodded, her eyes becoming moist.  "Good," he 
muttered and leaned over to kiss her 
forehead chastely.  "I need to do a lot of 
thinking.  I'll be in touch.  I need a few days to 
think 
about all you've said and consider the options 
here."

We both nodded.  "Take your time, Walter, but 
don't shut us out, all right?  Keep talking to 
us."

He nodded.  "I will.  I'll show myself out," he 
added as I made to rise.  I settled back down and 
he 
walked out into the hall.  We were silent as we 
listened to the front door close behind him.  A 
few 
moments later, the sound of his car starting up 
and backing out of the driveway invaded the 
living room.  We listened, as the sound of his car 
became just a faint memory.

Scully looked at me.  "So much for spending the 
weekend together.  Why do I feel like I'm not 
going to see him again for a long time?"

I just looked at her.  "We'll have to see him on 
Monday."

"Not if he wants to avoid us."

"I don't think he will."

"How do you know?"

"Just a feeling.  I think he's astonished that we 
don't blame him for this.  I think he's still a 
little 
overwhelmed with the whole thing, our acceptance, 
... and now this.  He needs to time to 
process it all and we need to give him that time, 
Scully."

She nodded. "I know.  What about you?"

"What about me?"

"How do you feel about all this?"

 "Let's put it this way.  He deserves to be happy, 
Scully.  And he'll always be sharing you.  I have 
your love.  He doesn't.  He deserves to find 
someone that is all his.  And I would never stand 
in 
the way of that."

"Neither would I.  He's been alone a long time."

"Exactly, and I think he's very lonely.  Easily as 
lonely as we used to be before we got together."

She nodded.  "God, I hope I never feel that way 
again."

"This is purely a sexual release for him.  He 
values your friendship and he respects you on the 
job but in that bedroom, you are a sexual object 
to him, a way to release his fantasies and his 
sexual frustration.  I think he needs more than 
that.  I know I do."

She nodded and said quietly, "Yeah, I see your 
point."

I turned and moved her over, lying down on my side 
with my back to the backrest of the couch.  
She was on her back and turned to look up at me.  
I leaned down and kissed her gently.  "I love 
you so much," I whispered.

"I love you, too, Mulder.  This will work out.  
You'll see."

I smiled and laid my hand on her still flat tummy.  
She looked up at me.  "We're going to have a 
baby, Mulder."

I nodded, responding to the conviction in her 
voice.  "I know."

"And nothing is going to stop that.  I promise.  
I'll be so careful from now on."

I leaned in and buried my nose in her hair.  "We 
both will, Baby.  We both will.


PART 3 (NC-17)
WALTER SKINNER'S APARTMENT
ALEXANDRIA, VA
SATURDAY EVENING - 6:00 PM

I stood in the kitchen looking at her framed in 
the doorway.  I'd called her earlier after much 
soul 
searching.  She'd given me her beeper number many 
months ago.  I'd told her to dress normally, 
jeans and a comfortable shirt, no make up.  She'd 
done as I'd asked, obviously a little 
uncomfortable appearing before me not being all 
dressed up.

I smiled at her and picked up the lasagna I'd 
cooked and set it on the trivet in the middle of 
the 
table.  I motioned for her to sit down.  "What is 
all this?" she asked, obviously confused.

"Dinner."

"I see that, but ..."

"I'm paying you for the entire evening.  I want to 
have dinner with you."

She nodded.  "I'm hungry."

"Good.  You probably don't eat enough."

She sat down and waited.  I scooped some onto her 
plate and then onto mine.  "Go ahead, dig 
in," I urged.

Finally she picked up her fork and knife and cut 
it into small pieces.  I watched as he took her 
first few tentative bites.  She smiled and hummed 
with pleasure.  "God, it's really good, Walt."

I smiled at her. "I'm glad.  Dig in."

She did, with gusto.  And I found myself smiling 
at her enthusiasm.  I wondered when the last 
time was she'd eaten a good meal.

She stopped when she caught me watching, looking 
embarrassed and I delighted in the blush 
that rose up to her cheeks.  "Sorry," she mumbled 
around her full mouth.

Without warning, I found myself laughing, a 
delighted, full belly laugh.  She smiled and 
swallowed.  I cut off my laughter and shook my 
head slightly.  "Don't apologize for enjoying my 
food.  That's the best compliment you can give a 
cook, you know?"

She smiled.  "What are you doing, Walt?" she asked 
suddenly, her smile fading.

Mine did too and I met her eyes.  "I wanted ... I 
don't know.  I wanted to talk to you, get to know 
you a little."

She sat back and smirked.  She could look so 
innocent, sitting there with no make up and her 
big 
tee shirt like a cloud around her.  She looked 
like a little girl.  But I knew she was no 
innocent 
and she'd been around the block more than a few 
times.

"Get to know me?"

"Yeah."

"What for?"

I was stung by her immediate skepticism, but 
realized she probably didn't know how to have any 
other reaction.  After all, all her previous 
attempts to talk to me had been rebuffed.

"I've been thinking a lot about what you said," I 
finally offered.

She was silent a moment and then said, "I haven't 
heard from you in two months.  I didn't think 
you were going to call me anymore after that last 
... time."

"You made me feel guilty."

"Is that why I'm here?  Atonement for your being a 
shit head?" she asked with characteristic 
bluntness.

"No."

"What's this all about?"

"I want to get to know you.  There's no hidden 
agenda.  I think you know I ... find you extremely 
attractive."

"But that's not enough?  It always was before ... 
for you anyway."

"Maybe it's not anymore.  Maybe you made me think 
about what I'm missing.  Maybe you made 
me want to be ... more fair to you, less of a 
taker."

She looked at me, silent for a few moments.  Then 
she said, "So ... you can't have her, so you're 
going to try and make me some substitute?"

"No!  That's just it.  That's what you were in the 
past, a substitute, and I don't want that to be 
the 
case anymore, Sydney.  I want ..."

"What?"

"I don't know!  Something different.  Something 
more!  I'm trying, dammit!"  I was frustrated with 
my inability to express myself.  I don't know why 
I didn't consider that she would grill me on this.  
She had every right to be suspicious.

"You want what?"  She paused.  "To be my friend?" 
she asked sarcastically.

I ignored her tone.  "Yes."

She barked a sharp laugh and sat back in her 
chair, her hand on her stomach.  "You're a piece 
of work, you know that, Walter?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She stood up and turned to walk away from the 
table.  "Thanks for dinner, Walt.  It was 
delicious.  
I'll just be going back to my life now."

I sprung up and grabbed her arm.  "Sydney, please, 
stay with me tonight."

She turned.  "Why?  So you can use me like the 
whore I am and satisfy some twisted fantasy of 
yours?  Sure, if you wanna fuck ... let's fuck?  
That's what I do, right, Walt?  That's all I'm 
capable of, right, Walt? That's what you pay me 
for, right?  Don't try to pretend its anything 
else 
... it hurts too much!  Friend!  I wanted to be 
more than you're friend and you stepped all over 
my 
heart you callous bastard!  Now you want more and 
I'm supposed to drop what I'm doing and fall 
at your feet?!  

"You won't even kiss me, you hypocritical asshole!  
And you expect me to calmly sit here and eat 
your food and tell you all about myself?  Make 
myself seem like a real person to you?  For what?  
To assuage some misplaced guilt of yours?!  Well 
FUCK you!"

She spun away and headed for the door.  I stomped 
after her, her little legs no match for my long 
strides.  She yanked the door open just as I 
arrived behind her.  I reached out and slammed it 
shut with one hand.  The other grabbed her 
shoulder and spun her around.

"Let me go you bastard!" she nearly screamed.

I didn't think.  I just grabbed her face in both 
hands and dropped my mouth over hers.  One hand 
slid up to the back of her head, anchoring her 
against me.  I tilted my head to the side and 
punched my tongue against her teeth.  She resisted 
for a moment, her hands on my biceps and 
then I felt her go limp beneath my hands and her 
mouth open.

I slid my tongue inside and rolled it over hers.  
Oh God, I was kissing Sydney, for the first time.  
I'd probably fucked her a hundred times, but we'd 
never kissed.  I'd never let her, because I 
knew what would happen if I did.  She would become 
a real person to me then, and I hadn't 
wanted that.  I'd been selfish and arrogant, just 
wanting to assuage my need and my twisted 
fantasies about Scully.  She'd wanted to know 
about me and I hadn't let her in.  

I groaned as she kissed me back, feeling an 
electric tingle pass between us.  I hadn't even 
felt 
that with Scully.  

Our conversation echoed in my head now from two 
months ago.

"Why can't I kiss you?"

"I don't want ..."

"What?" she asked.

"It's too personal.  I thought that was a rule in 
your profession."

"Maybe if you kissed me, I would become a person 
to you," she said quietly.

"You are a person to me."

She opened her mouth and then closed it.  "Just 
not the person you want me to be, right?"

I'd sighed heavily.  "I can't have what I want.  
You fulfill a need for me.  Isn't that enough?"

"I don't think it is anymore."

 "Then I guess I won't be able to see you 
anymore."

"Don't say that!" she cried.

"We had an agreement."

"I know, but ..."

I said, "I can't change that agreement."

"Why not?"

"Be real.  What are you going to do?  Leave your 
job?" I asked quietly, as if it were the most 
ridiculous thing I'd ever heard.

She frowned, sighed and then said, "I would for 
you."

 "You would?"

She nodded, looking slightly ashamed.  I wasn't 
sure why.  "I would leave it for you.  But I'll 
never 
be pure and untouchable like her.  It's not who I 
am.  I'm tired of pretending to be someone I'm 
not.  I'd leave it all behind, but you don't want 
ME, do you?"

"In my own way, I do.  And she isn't pure, just 
untouchable."

"Do you love her?" she asked.

 "I don't know.  No, I don't think so.  Not the 
way you mean it anyway.  I don't know what I feel.  
I 
just know I can't stop ..."

"Can't stop, what?"

"Wanting her.  She turns me on.  My attraction to 
her is vicious and I can't help it.  I can't do 
anything about it directly though.  You look just 
like her ... almost.  So you turn me on too, don't 
think you don't.  Plus, I've always had a thing 
for tiny women ... and redheads too, for that 
matter.  You're both my type."

"That's all there is to it?"

"It's not that simple.  She's married.  I can't 
have her.  I CAN have you.  Even if she wasn't 
married, I couldn't have her."

"Why not?"

"Because she's totally in love with her husband, 
married or not, has been for years.  Everyone 
knows it.  And believe it or not, I respect her. I 
respect him.  I consider them friends and 
confidantes.  I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize 
that."

She'd looked at me then with the saddest 
expression I'd ever seen and said, "Your loss, 
Walter.  
I could be everything for you."  And she walked 
away.

My hands left her face and head to yank her tee 
shirt up over her head.  Our mouths separated 
briefly.  She gave me a confused look but I 
descended on her again, not giving her time to 
think 
about it.

I worked her jeans next and felt her hands come up 
to pull my shirt out of my jeans.  We got 
frantic then, and I knew she'd given in.  I 
stopped her hands as they reached for my pants. 

She frowned.  "Not here, upstairs," I ground out.

She nodded and turned to go there, but I reached 
down and lifted her into the air.  She squealed 
quietly, but wrapped her legs around my waist and 
her arms around my neck. 

I kissed her as I walked carefully up the stairs, 
years of familiarity keeping me from missing my 
step.  I set her down gently next to the bed and 
we started to strip away the rest of our clothes.  

When we were naked, she turned around and put her 
wrists together behind her back in a 
gesture so achingly filled with trust I almost 
sobbed.  God, she thought I was going to tie her.

Why wouldn't she? I always had before.  My hands 
came down on her shoulders and I turned 
her toward me, shaking my head in the negative.

"Walter ... but ..." she said, obviously confused.

I just kept shaking my head until our lips met and 
I kissed her gently again, tenderly and heard 
an adorable mewling sound from her throat.  I 
tipped her back onto the bed and dragged her to 
the middle, laying her head on the pillows.

God, what an ass I'd been.  I'd nearly always 
taken her in the ass.  The few times I'd taken her 
normally, it had been rough and wild, me expunging 
a gnawing need that I could no longer resist. 

Not this time.

"Walter ...?" she began.

I put my fingers over her lips.  "Shhh, baby.  
Just lay back and enjoy."  She nodded and I 
removed my fingers. 

I kissed my way down her body, an unprecedented 
feeling of joy wash through me when her 
back arched up as I took her nipple gently in my 
mouth, tugging gently with my teeth and 
soothing it with my tongue.

She moaned, "Oh Jesus, Walter."

She squirmed as I made my way down her stomach, 
swirling my tongue in her navel, making her 
taut stomach muscles quiver at the contact.  She 
was a couple of inches taller than Scully.  I'd 
guess 5' 4", but I realized suddenly, she was 
smaller.  Her hips were smaller, almost boyish, 
her 
waistline was smaller, and her breasts were 
slightly smaller as well, but very full with no 
sag on 
her tiny frame.

I was six foot, two inches tall and towered over 
her as she lay there on the bed, looking about 16 
years old with no make up.  One of my thighs was 
easily as wide as her waist.  I felt another rush 
of arousal and my semi-erect penis surged to fully 
erect and bumped against her thigh.  

Oh Christ, except for her height, she was smaller 
than Scully, all over.  I began to pant with 
excitement as I looked at her, realizing perhaps 
for the first time, consciously anyway, that she 
was an incredibly beautiful girl.  Oh God, I'd 
always loved tiny women, the tinier the better.  
It 
brought out some primal protective instinct in me 
... it also made me mad with lust, that feeling of 
being dominant, feeling like an Amazon fucking a 
midget, almost like fucking a little girl although 
thank god I'd never felt any attraction to 
children.  

No.  I loved full breasts and shapely legs and 
tight butts.  Most of all, if I was honest, I 
loved the 
feeling of splitting their virgin-like cunts wide 
open; not to mention how tight they generally were 
stuffed onto my three and half inch wide, 10 inch 
long cock.  She was a beautiful girl.

Girl.

She was a woman, but good lord, she was tiny.  I 
knelt between her legs, bringing my hands to 
her waist.  If I pushed slightly, I could almost 
touch my fingers as they spanned her tiny waist.  
"So tiny," I muttered.  "I love that you're so 
small.  God it makes me crazy how small you are."

She smiled serenely up at me.  Tentatively, she 
asked, "Should I turn over?"

My heart cracked open again as I realized she 
still thought this was like all the other times 
I'd 
taken her from behind, not seeing her face, just 
her lovely hair and pretending she was someone 
else.  Pretending she was Scully.

I didn't want that tonight.  I wasn't going to 
fuck her.

I leaned down and kissed her gently again.  I 
whispered into her ear, feeling her shiver, "No 
Sydney.  Not like that tonight."

"What then?"

I pulled back to see her face, her moist blue 
eyes, so guileless, staring up at me, waiting 
patiently.  I licked my lips and kept whispering, 
not sure why.  "I'm going to make love to you."

She whimpered and I kissed her again, and then 
moved down between her legs.  I spread her 
thighs gently and moaned as I saw and then felt 
the incredible wetness between her legs.  

Without hesitation, I bent into her and gave her 
entrance an open mouthed kiss, sucking her 
juices into my mouth.  She'd shown me papers 
earlier.  I'd always insisted she present me with 
medical test results that she was clean.  That was 
the only way I would be with her.  I knew it was 
necessary, but I'd still felt guilty when she'd 
handed them to me tonight.

She was on the pill, but I'd always used a rubber 
anyway.  Not tonight.  Tonight she was going to 
feel all of me and I was going to feel all of her.  
I poked a finger inside and searched the front 
wall of her vagina.

I knew I'd found the spot when she shouted, "Oh 
God, Yes!" and I felt the walls of her little 
pussy 
clamp down on my fingers.  My dick jumped, 
anticipating that tightness for itself.  I 
massaged her 
in small circles and began flicking my tongue over 
her clit.

She whimpered again and her hands came down to the 
side of my head.  I raised my eyes to find 
her staring at me with such a look of amazement 
and affection that I felt a wave of dizziness.

I closed my eyes and worked her more vigorously 
with both my mouth and fingers until she broke 
apart, wailing and thrashing as her orgasm took 
her.  Her legs pressed to the side of my head 
like a vice but I didn't mind.  I continued to lap 
her gently as she came down.

Finally, I crawled up her body, settling myself 
between her thighs.  She opened her eyes, looking 
stunned.  As selfish as I'd always been, I 'd 
always tried to give her an orgasm and most times 
had succeeded, although not always.  But it was 
always born of pure lust and we both knew that.  
This time, I'd done something purely for her 
pleasure and she was obviously stunned.

I smiled gently at her and began to kiss her 
again.  I broke the kiss as she snaked a hand 
between us and cupped my erection, now aching it 
was so hard.

I hissed and looked down at her.  I realized just 
how degrading it must have been for her when I 
called her Scully all the time, pretending she was 
someone else.  Not anymore.  I tried out her 
name.   "Sydney, Sydney," I muttered, liking the 
way it sounded rolling off my tongue.

"What?" she asked playfully.

"I missed you.  I want you."

"You've always wanted me," she said a bit smugly 
but I could detect the sadness in her eyes.

"Not like this," I whispered.  "I want YOU, 
Sydney."  And she nodded, understanding.  There 
would be no pretending she was someone else. I 
wanted her, not a fantasy version of Scully.  I 
meant it with every fiber of my being and it 
surprised me.  Her eyes pooled with wetness and I 
leaned down to kiss the moisture away. 

She was panting delicately as I towered over her.  
She took a deep breath, "Do you have your 
condom?"

I shook my head and her eyes widened.  "Not 
tonight, Sydney."

"But you always ..."

"You wouldn't lie to me would you?"

She shook her head vigorously.  "I protect myself.  
I always make them wear a condom.  I just got 
tested last week.  I'm clean as a whistle."  This 
was all said in a rush.

I smiled at her.  "Then I trust you."

That brought a sob from the back of her throat and 
I kissed her again, my hand sliding down to 
her hip.  I felt a wave of tenderness and I 
punched gently and felt the head of my cock slip 
inside 
her.

Her muscle spasmed tight around my cock head and I 
groaned.  Dear God, she was so small, 
definitely smaller than Scully, inside and out.  
Why hadn't I noticed this?  Probably because I 
was too busy enjoying the particular tightness of 
another orifice in the past.

I sighed and eased my way in.  She took me 
steadily until I was three quarters of the way in 
and 
then drew in her breath sharply.  "My God, Walter.  
It's been so long.  I forgot how huge you are."

I didn't respond, just feeling a warm tingle from 
her nervous excitement as it translated to me.  I 
slid my hand down her leg and lifted from under 
her knee, raising her leg up towards her 
shoulder.  

This tipped me to one side, but I slid inside 
further, taking my time and feeling her muscles 
wave 
around my engorged flesh.  I groaned, "Oh Sydney, 
you feel so good, darlin'."

She gasped, I suppose from the endearment.  Then 
she said, "I want all of you."

"In a second, take it slow.  We have all night."

She smiled again, looking amazed that this was 
happening.  This was a major thing, and we both 
knew it.  I wasn't fucking a hooker.  I was making 
love to Sydney.  Beautiful, young, spirited 
Sydney.   I was practically an old man at 48 and 
here I was, making love to this young, tiny 
woman and she was looking at me like I was a God.  
How old was she?  I'd never asked.  I 
guessed in the mid 20s, but she looked like a 
teenager tonight.  

I could see the light freckles on her cheeks and 
nose that were normally covered under a heavy 
layer of make up.  I liked her much better without 
it.  She didn't look cheap this way, and there 
was no mask to hide her face.  I closed my eyes 
against a fresh wave of arousal that left my cock 
throbbing in hard washing waves.  I began to 
stroke her gently, groaning as her slickness 
tugged 
on my turgid flesh.

"Ohohoh, my God!   Ohmygod!" she chanted as I 
stroked her, slow and deep, taking deep 
strokes and sliding in a little further each time 
as her wet tunnel relaxed to admit me.

"Oh yeah, baby, let me in," I muttered as I 
continued, putting my elbows on the bed next to 
her 
shoulders.

I kissed her again, deeply, shoving my tongue 
inside and dancing it around her own.  She 
moaned into my mouth and I kept stroking her, 
finally feeling myself sink a bit more and my 
balls 
slap against her puckering anus.  She broke the 
kiss, throwing her head back and groaning.  "Oh 
Walter, you feel fantastic.  Oh, nobody fills me 
like this, like you do."

I kissed her cheeks, her jaw, her neck and made my 
way back up to her muttering lips, never 
breaking my soft, slow rhythm.  I lowered my body, 
letting my chest hair drag across the 
tightened nubs of her breasts.  She shuddered from 
head to toe and groaned, low and sexy in 
the back of her throat, her hands running up and 
down my biceps.  "Sweet Jesus, Walter."

"Feel good, Baby?"

"Oh God, you have no idea."

"I want to make you come again," I whispered.

She whimpered.  "I'm close.  Oh you fill me so 
good."

I sped up slightly but kept my strokes deep, 
dragging out the contact to the last moment and 
then 
sliding back into her nubile, young body.  "Yeah, 
that's it, beautiful, that's it," I cooed to her 
as I 
watched her face begin to contort from the 
pleasure.  

I sucked her bottom lip into my mouth, running my 
tongue over it.  She moaned and then said,  
"Oh yeah, Oh god, make love to me, oh please, keep 
making love to me."  Her voice held a 
plaintive sound, almost a whine and I felt my 
chest constrict with emotion and my eyes sting 
with 
tears as I realized how much this meant to her.  
No one ever made love to her.  They just used 
her.  She probably had no idea what it meant to be 
loved, really loved.

Loved?  I pushed that thought to the back of my 
head and decided to examine it later.

Her ankles crossed at the small of my back and she 
began lifting her pelvis, trying to impale 
herself on my cock.  It changed our angle slightly 
and I felt a hot rush around my cock. 

She cried out, "Oh God, I'm coming!"  

I began slam into her then and felt her tunnel 
grip and release me in a series of rapid 
convulsions.  I put one hand down and gently 
pinched her nipple, causing another wail and a 
second round of spasms.

Amazingly, I was not ready to come and I didn't 
stop, but slowed down again, kissing her and 
beginning to build her back up again.  She was 
panting, "So good, never been this good.  So 
good, can't believe you're still hard."

I muttered, "So hard, so fucking hard, just for 
you, Sydney.  God, you're so tiny, so beautiful."  
I 
remembered the incredible feel of Scully's double 
climax, clitoral and cervical, squeezing my 
prick and was seized with the mad desire to feel 
it again ... with Sydney, who was even smaller 
and tighter than Scully.  

I don't know if she realized she still hadn't 
taken all of me, only about eight and half of my 
ten 
inches.  I was stretching her so wide open that I 
could feel my cock brush her baby soft thigh as 
it retreated.  Her pelvis would ache tomorrow.  
That thought gave me another rush of pleasure.

"Sydney, I want you to take all of me."

"Yeess!" she hissed.

"I wanna take you inside, push through into your 
womb.  Has anyone ever done that?"

She shook her head frantically.  

"I'm gonna make you come again and then I'll do 
it, take your inner cherry while you're coming.  
It will make it easier, but it still might hurt," 
I warned her.  I was obsessed with feeling that 
feeling 
again.  I wanted it with a desire that bordered on 
insanity.

"S'Okay," she slurred.  "Do it, lover."

I moaned with her acquiescence and slid a hand 
under her low back, anchoring her to me as I 
thrust into her hard, rolling her clit between us.  
She began to gasp and groan with every stroke.  
I slid my hand down between her cheeks and pressed 
on her anus.   That was all it took and she 
was climaxing for the third time.  "I want to 
possess you, Sydney!"

My arm banded around her waist, leaving her butt 
as I slammed into her, nailing her to the 
mattress and shoving hard at the end of my 
strokes.  Her clinging walls felt divine as she 
whimpered, "Oh God, Walt.  It's not stooppiinngg!"

I jostled her, hooking her knees over my elbows as 
I bent her in half and towered over her.  I 
roared with lust and determination and hammered 
into her brutally, feeling her cervix finally give 
way after spasming against the head of my cock.  I 
plunged through her opening, grinding my 
hips into her thighs, angling for every last 
smidge of depth.  I held still.  Now that I was in 
I didn't 
want to be too harsh with her.  I'd had to hit her 
hard to get inside.

She cried out, "Ahhhh, shit!  No one's ever been 
so deep!'

Then I just rocked my shaft back and forth gently 
about an inch or so, feeling the ridge of my 
cock head catch on her tight cervical muscle, and 
stretch it.  Then I would rock back in.  I didn't 
want to be too rough with her and hurt her.  
Scully got off on a certain amount of pain, but I 
really 
didn't know if Sydney did.  I panted out, "So 
tight, you're so fucking exquisite Sydney."

She whimpered, "Oh God, Oh God, so huge, oh Jesus, 
feels like you're splitting me in two."

"Too much?" I gasped, feeling sudden remorse that 
I may have hurt her when I wanted this to be 
a special time between us.

"No!  Feels so good, hurts so good.  Do it, 
Walter.  Break me open.  I want to feel you in my 
throat."

As good as that suggestion sounded, I really 
didn't want to hurt her.  I couldn't resist 
increasing 
the tempo a bit though. I rocked a little harder, 
bringing her hips up off the bed and she began to 
break apart.

She screamed, but not in pain and I felt it begin.  
Her cervix convulsed in hard, slow waves, 
squeezing the end of my dick like a cock ring. 

"Feels so good, Sydney.  I'm fucking your little 
womb."  

I bellowed and pressed my balls against her ass as 
she jerked beneath me like she was having a 
seizure.  I was losing control, despite my resolve 
not to.  "Oh, I'm sorry!  I'm sorry, have to take 
you harder!"

"It's all right!  Bury yourself, Walter!  Awww, 
Jesus, it's impossible!  I'm still ccoommiinngg!"

I lost it completely and began drawing back until 
the head of my shaft rested inside her and then 
plunging to the bottom of her canal, and jerking 
my hips up at the end of the stroke, poking my 
rock hard meat through the entrance to her uterus.  
I let out an incoherent roar each time I felt 
myself slide past that tight, resisting barrier 
and felt it wrap tightly around the head of my 
cock.  
"Oh, Sydney!  You're mine!  You're mine!  You're 
tiny little cunny is MINE!" I shouted.

I felt my cock sting as it swelled with the force 
of my ejaculation.  I emptied into her, groaning 
like 
a dying man.  I felt my balls spasm and empty deep 
into her belly as her cervix squeezed my 
cock head.  I retreated from her womb but stayed 
inside her.  We panted into each other's necks, 
slick with sweat.  I miraculously hadn't gone 
soft.  What the fuck?  That hadn't happened since 
I 
was a teenager ... staying hard after an 
ejaculation.

She moaned again.  I rolled over and she straddled 
my thighs.  "Ride me, Sydney.  I want to 
watch myself disappear into your tiny body.  I 
wanna watch your little body impaled on mine."

I watched her and played with her breasts as she 
rode me, first slowly and languidly but then 
increasing her speed until she was impaling 
herself on my rock hard cock.  She would rise up, 
exposing the full bloom of my shaft before 
slamming herself back down, engulfing it in hot, 
tight 
velvet.  I couldn't believe I was still so hard. 

She was stretched now and sopping wet, allowing 
her to sink down all the way with relative ease, 
although I could feel the snugness still.  I 
wasn't going through her cervix now but I was 
stretching the membrane to the limit as she seated 
herself against me.

She leaned down, pushing herself back onto me and 
rocking harshly.  I panted as I rested, 
letting her do the work.  Sweat had broken out on 
her brow and tiny tendrils of auburn hair stuck 
to her forehead.  I tenderly brushed them back and 
tucked her hair behind her ears.  She smiled 
at me, the most genuine joyful smile I'd ever seen 
on a woman and I groaned at the sight of it, 
feeling my nuts spasm and pull up tight to my 
shaft.  I could feel her walls vibrating against 
my 
turgid flesh as a suction was created each time 
she lifted off me.

"Looks so good, Baby.  Yeah, that's it.  Ride me.  
Oh, your little puss is quivering.  Feels great.  
Oh, I'm close baby.  We're so good together. 
You're gonna make me come again."

"Yes, Walter.  Yes, come for me, comeforme, 
comeforme!" she chanted, as she sped up and 
began lifting herself again, and slamming her 
velvet vice-like walls around my towering hard on.

I shouted and felt my balls swell and ache as they 
filled with burning come.  My hands slid from 
her breasts to her hips, helping her lift and 
fall.  The backs of my legs tingled as I began to 
thrust 
up, meeting her half way and jarring her small 
body as she landed on top of mine.  

Her small hands rested on my chest for leverage 
and she began pinching both nipples 
simultaneously.  I shouted incoherently, 
"Aaaaahhhhh, shiiii, Syyyddd....oh God, baby, YES, 
YES, YES!"

I shuddered violently as the first rush of cum 
raced up my shaft and sprayed large ropey strings 
inside her welcoming body like a high-pressure 
hose.  My hands held her down at the waist, my 
cock fully embedded as it throbbed and she 
squeezed her muscles milking me for every last 
drop.

I collapsed in a boneless heap and she sprawled 
across my chest.  Her whole body fit on top of 
mine.  I was so much broader and wider than her.  
Her small hips rested against the inside of my 
hipbones and I cupped her ass pressing my still 
semi-hard prick inside her as I ground against 
her and shivered with aftershocks.  She hummed 
with contentment and then raised her head. 

I kissed her nose and she giggled and then gave me 
a beautiful smile again.  She rolled off to my 
side and lay on her back.  I levered up onto my 
side and draped my arm over her tiny waist.  Still 
tentative, she reached up for the back of my neck 
and slowly drew me down toward her.  I had a 
strong sense of déjŕ vu.  The last time I'd pulled 
away.  Was she testing me?  I would pass this 
time.  I could see she still wasn't sure if I 
would resist like I had the last time.

I merely let her pull me down till our lips 
brushed and her hot, moist breath mingled with 
mine.  I 
heard her sigh in relief and she suckled first my 
top and then my bottom lip.  I moaned softly and 
pulled her body up against mine.  God I felt good!  
I heard the words coming out of my mouth, 
"God, I feel so good right now."

She smiled. "Me too.  Walter ...  damn ..."

"Yeah?"

"That was ... absolutely ... incredible."

I looked at her tenderly.  "You were incredible," 
I countered.

"No, I mean ..."

"Shhh, don't analyze it Syd. Just go with it."

She looked sad for a moment but then nodded.

I pulled back and met her eyes again.  "If you 
need to say something, say it."

"Where is this going?" she asked and then winced 
as if she knew she plunging headlong into a 
dangerous situation.

"Someplace wonderful, I hope."

She looked at me fearfully, but with hope in her 
eyes.  She licked her lips.  "Define this 
wonderful 
place," she said quietly.

I sighed and laid down on my back and pulled her 
up to snuggle against my side.  After a 
moment she said, "You don't have to answer that."

I squeezed her to me and said, "I will.  I'm just 
trying to find the words."

"Something happened to you, didn't it?"

"Yes."

"What was it?"

I hesitated.  Mulder and Scully had told me I 
probably shouldn't tell her right away about my 
relationship with them.  They were probably right 
but I couldn't come up with another way to 
explain this.  And if I wanted a relationship with 
Sydney that was worth a damn, I needed to be 
totally honest with her.

"I found out some things about Mulder and Scully."

She raised an eyebrow when I looked down at her 
but said nothing.

I continued.  "They have a unique lifestyle 
outside of the office."

"Like what?"

"They engage in role play or a ... D/s 
relationship.  Do you know what that is?"

She gave me a 'you've got to be kidding look' and 
nodded in the affirmative.  "Are you forgetting 
whom you're talking to?" she asked.

"No, I'm not, I just ... just because you do ... 
what you do ... doesn't mean your familiar with 
the 
other lifestyles out there ... not the healthy 
ones anyway."

She smiled.  "I'm very familiar with them.  I've 
been invited in on them from time to time.  Not 
all 
my clients have been singles."

I nodded, feeling a twinge at that admission.  I 
knew where she'd been, vaguely, but maybe my 
imagination was worse than the reality.  Then 
again, maybe not.  Clients.  It was such a cold 
word.  Right now, I was a client, but I knew I 
meant more to her than that.  I couldn't fault her 
for 
having all those emotional walls.

I shook my head to clear the cobwebs.  "Well 
that's sort of what happened."

"What do you mean?"

"I got invited in."

She lurched up onto her elbow and looked down at 
me.  "You're kidding, as a third?"

I nodded.

She swallowed harshly.  "So you got to be with her 
after all."  She paused, her face a mask of 
sadness.  "No wonder you haven't called me."  I 
could tell that bothered her more than she was 
willing to say when she turned her face away from 
me. 

I turned to her.  "It was over a month since I 
last saw you before they asked me.  I hadn't 
called 
because ... I was afraid of the things I was 
starting to feel for you.  And they found out 
about you.  
I didn't want you get hurt.  At first, I didn't 
know how they would react."

"How did they find out?"

"They found one my tapes."

"And they watched it?"

I sighed.  "I was attacked.  Somebody broke in 
here and I surprised them."

"Walter!  Were you hurt?"

"A little.  Mulder and Scully came to help.  
Scully patched me up and they had friends sweep 
for 
bugs.  They found my camera."  She knew that I had 
taped her, had consented to it beforehand.  
Somehow I couldn't bring myself to do it without 
her knowing.

She just stared waiting for the rest of the story.

"I went last week, on a Friday.  I was with her on 
Friday and Saturday, always with him there.  
And then again yesterday."

"That's all?" she asked curiously.

I nodded.  "Yeah."

"Do you plan on going back?"

"I don't know."

"Was it good?" she asked, in a detached sort of 
way.

"Physically, it was mind blowing."

She closed her eyes and sighed.  "Then what's the 
problem?"

"Several things."

"Gonna tell me about them?"

"Are you sure you want to hear it?"

"I ... yes, I need to hear it ... if we are going 
to keep seeing each other."  She hesitated but 
then 
admitted, "It shouldn't matter to me, ... but it 
does. I feel like if you can have the woman of 
your 
fantasies, you wouldn't want me anymore."

I wondered if she meant as a client.  I would have 
to get to the part about her quitting the street 
real soon.  But not yet.  "She's pregnant."

"Oh God," she whispered.

"Yeah, and I guess I took her a little rough 
yesterday and she broke a blood vessel in her ... 
vagina.  She hemorrhaged and we thought she was 
going to lose the baby."

Sydney's hand came up to her mouth.  "Oh Jesus, 
Walter.  I'm so sorry."

"She didn't, but it was a scare all right.  They 
don't blame me.  I can't imagine why, but they 
don't."

"Because they know you and they know you would 
never intentionally harm her.  If they thought 
that, you never would have been invited to join 
them in the first place."

I stared at the ceiling.  "There's more."

She leaned down and kissed my cheek.  "Tell me."

"She loves him, so much it's scary. I mean she 
places total, absolute trust in that man to 
protect 
her, to make sure nothing happens to her."

"Do you think her trust was shaken?"

"It didn't seem to be, but I guess only time will 
tell.  They need to be gentle for the rest of her 
pregnancy."

"And that's not what you want."  It was statement.

I looked at her again.  "I can be gentle," I said, 
sounding hurt to my own ears.

She smiled. "I know you can.  You just proved 
that."

I smiled again.  "It's not the gentle part that 
bugs me."

"What then?"

"As good as it was, I'd always be the outsider.  
I'll always be the third.  I'll always be ... 
sharing 
her with the permission of Mulder."

"Ah," she said softly.

"Not that the sex isn't great, and not that I 
don't genuinely care for both of them, but I don't 
love 
them.  Sooner and later ... that won't be enough.  
I need something more."

"Like what?"

"Someone that is just mine, that I don't have to 
share, not their love anyway.  Physically, with 
you, the sex is just as mind blowing," I said 
quietly.  "But with you, there's something else, 
Sydney.  Something that isn't there, even with 
Scully, despite our friendship."

She looked at me strangely then.  "Is that why I'm 
here?  I win by default?"

I looked down the length of my body, not sure what 
to say next.  "No, Sydney ..." I began.

She held up a hand to stop me.  "Walter, ... you 
know I care for you more than any man I've ever 
known.  God knows why, you've always treated me 
like shit."

I chuffed a sound of agreement.

"Physically, with you, the sex is just as mind 
blowing, Sydney."

She looked at me, obviously skeptical.

I said quietly, "But with you there's something 
else, something more than physical.  And I'm so 
sorry I've treated you like shit."

"Well, you did and you didn't.  You saw me as an 
object of your fantasies, but you still never hurt 
me.  You were rough, but you were always careful 
to not hurt me.  Plus, you made sure most 
times that I found pleasure when we were together.  
Do you know how rare it is for me to feel 
pleasure with a man?"

I looked at her.

There was moisture in her eyes.  "Most men are in 
it for themselves.  They don't care about me 
... and why should they?  I'm a prostitute.  
That's what I'm here for, to fulfill their needs, 
not the 
other way around."

"Doesn't seem very fair."

"It's not, but that's reality.  I chose to do this 
to survive so I can't kick and make a fuss or cry 
'why 
me'?  Why not me?  I made my bed, so to speak, and 
now I have to lie in it."

"Why did you start?"

"My parents are strict Catholics.  They found out 
I was sleeping with my boyfriend and they 
kicked me to the curb.  I was sixteen years old.  
I snuck back into the house when they weren't 
there, packed as much of my stuff as I could and 
never looked back.  My boyfriend told me he 
wasn't going to date a homeless person.  Nice, 
huh? 

"I moved from Maryland down here and I was ... 
starving, living in shelters for a couple of 
years.  
I had odd jobs cleaning houses here and there but 
once they knew I didn't have a home, they 
would give me the boot.  I lived in nasty hotels 
that would let you pay by the day.  If I had the 
money, I slept there.  If not, I crashed on a 
bench in the train station.  This went on for a 
couple 
of years.  

"I kept thinking I was going to get a decent job 
and be able to get an apartment.  I never had 
enough all at once.  So, one day I was walking to 
the shelter to get some lunch.  I was broke.  I 
think I had 55 cents in my pocket.  This guy 
stopped me on the street.  He offered me $25 for a 
blowjob."

I cringed, but remained silent.  If she going to 
open up, I wasn't go to interrupt her.  My 
conversation with Mulder and Scully came back to 
me then about her doing this because she 
had to, not because she wanted to.

"I was desperate and depressed and figured, why 
not?  I can't get pregnant from that.  Of course, 
I wasn't thinking about disease at the time.  So I 
followed him to this fleabag hotel and I ... did 
what he wanted.  He liked it so much that he gave 
me $35.  I took the money and went to 
Wendy's.  I gorged myself on a hamburger and the 
salad bar and a baked potato.  I felt better 
than I had in days.  I felt dirty and guilty but 
... I wasn't hungry anymore.

"Soon after, I was walking to the shelter again 
and I was approached by Carlos.  He said 'a 
friend' had told him I gave terrific head.  Ha!  
He said it like I should have been preening under 
the compliment.  But he said a girl couldn't work 
alone.  I could work for him and he would 
protect me."

She paused, looking like she felt stupid for 
accepting his offer.

"The rest is history.  Then I got an apartment, 
which he paid for until I could pay him back.  I 
got 
used to the money, Walter.  It's a hard thing to 
give up.  I make more in one night than I could 
make in a week as a bag girl or something."

I rolled up onto my side and she lied down on her 
back, staring up at me, looking so sad again.  I 
didn't like that expression of melancholy on her 
face that she wore so often.  Now that I thought 
about it, it had always been there.

"How old were you?"

"When I started hooking?"

I nodded.

"Nineteen."

"How old are you now?"

"Twenty-four.  I know now that the price is high 
and this life isn't what I want for myself and 
that 
it's dangerous.  But I just don't know what else 
to do now."

I took a deep breath.  Now was the time.  "Sydney, 
you deserve so much more than you have.  I 
want you to quit," I said softly.

Her eyes got wide and she said nothing for a 
moment and then she licked her lips, an 
incredulous look on her face.  "And do what?" she 
asked.

"I'll help you."

"I don't know how to do anything, Walter."

"Have you ever used a computer?"

"No."

"Do you know how to type?"

"No."

I sighed.  "I can get you some training through 
unemployment."

"And what do I use to pay the rent in the 
meantime, genius?" she asked, her world-weary 
persona showing through again.

"Nothing.  You could stay here.  You could 
waitress in the meantime or something.  Anybody 
can 
do that.  And if you don't have rent, waitressing 
should give you enough money to live on till we 
found you some training."

Now her jaw dropped open.  "You can't be serious 
..." she said, her voice trailing off.

"You said you would leave the job for me."

She shook her head.  "I guess I did, but I never 
thought it was ..."

"Something I'd take you up on?" I volunteered.

"I meant it at the time."

"And now?"

She looked at me, her eyes pooling with wetness.  
"I don't know.  Why do you want to help me?"

"Because I care about you," I stated simply.

"Not cause you want a free piece of ass?" she 
tried to joke, but it fell flat.

I shook my head.  "No, I can have that now, 
remember?  If I wanted it," I added, implying that 
I 
didn't.  I would always be attracted to Scully but 
the same was true with Sydney.  They were both 
just my type.  There was a vulnerability to Sydney 
that drew me like a magnet.  Under all that 
false bravado was a scared little girl that wanted 
to be taken care of.  Something about that 
appealed to my inner caveman and I was helpless 
against the pull of it.  Scully was submissive 
by choice.  That was a role she adopted because of 
her trust in Mulder, not her trust in me.  I 
didn't necessarily want a submissive woman, but I 
wanted someone that would trust me and love 
me.  Scully would never love me.  And I would 
never love her.  Those were just the facts.  I 
knew 
deep down, although I'd been scared to face it, 
that I could fall in love with Sydney.

She nodded and looked away quickly.  I reached out 
and tipped her chin back towards me with 
two fingers.  

"Sydney, I don't know all the reasons why I want 
to help you.  I haven't worked it all out yet.  
I'll 
be honest.  I just know that I do.  I know that I 
feel like shit every time I watch you leave and 
know you could be in danger.  I know I feel like 
shit for treating you like a ..."

"Whore?" she volunteered, the corners of her mouth 
turning up slightly like she was amused.

"Like an object for my use with no feelings.  And 
I'm sorry about that.  More sorry than you'll ever 
know."

"I don't want your pity, Walter.  I don't deserve 
it."

"It's not pity."

"Oh no?"

"No ... I didn't want to ... I'm mad at myself, 
but I do care about you Sydney ... more than a 
little.  
I really do."  I paused and then said, "I don't 
want you to leave.  It scares the hell out of me, 
but 
... I'm falling for you."

She stared at me again, licking her lips.  "You're 
a strange man, Walter."

"Yeah, well, no one ever accused me of being 
normal," I said dryly.

She laughed then, and the clear tinkling sound of 
it washed away the last of my doubts and 
indecision.  

"Let me help you, Sydney," I whispered.




PART 4 (NC-17)
WALTER SKINNER'S APARTMENT
ALEXANDRIA, VA

She nodded.  "Walter, this isn't as simple as it 
may seem.  I can't just leave."

"Why not?"

"I'm not ... independent."

"You mean you have a pimp," I said, cringing at 
the thought of retribution she would receive if 
she tried to leave.  God, I'd never even asked 
about that in all the time I'd been seeing her.

She nodded.  "He wouldn't be pleased.  He gets ... 
about 50% of everything I make."

"Fifty percent!"

She smiled.  "Yeah, and I make a lot of money, 
especially from people like you that want me for a 
whole evening.  He doesn't have many girls with 
customers like that.  It keeps me in his good 
graces.  Where do you get all that money anyway?"

"I don't have a lot to spend it on these days.  
This isn't insurmountable, Sydney.  We'll just 
have 
to take him down."

"Take him down?  Are you crazy?  Who do you think 
you are?  Rambo?  The man is a pimp.  He 
has bodyguards and guns.  What the hell can you 
do?  What are you going to do?  Call the 
fucking police?  Then I get arrested for 
prostitution!"

I smiled, realizing with a flash that she had no 
idea what I did for a living.  I'd never told her.  
I'd 
talked about the office, but that was it.  She 
probably thought I was a businessman of some kind.

"Have you ever been arrested for soliciting?"

"No, and I'm proud to say I've avoided that fate.  
I'm very careful on the streets and I stay away 
from the areas that the beat cops patrol."

"Good, without a record, I can protect you from a 
first time offense."

She scrunched her brow.  "You sound awfully 
confident.  What are you?  Some rich guy with 
connections?"

"I'm not rich, but I do have connections."

"To judges?"

"In the FBI."

"The FBI!  Are you fucking nuts!?"  She tried to 
sit up abruptly but I held her down with a hand on 
her shoulder.

"Calm down, Sydney."

"Calm down!  I'm a fucking hooker!  Do you know 
what the FBI could do to me?  Mix me up in 
trying to take him down in exchange for a lighter 
sentence!  I could get killed!"

Calmly, I said, "Nobody is going to get killed and 
I can keep you out of it completely."

She was unnaturally still for several long 
moments, staring at me as if I had two heads.  
Finally 
she whispered, "I'm having an awful feeling here.  
What do you do for a living?"

I slowly let a smile creep across my face.  "I'm 
an Assistant Director with the FBI."

"WHAT!?" she screeched.  This time I didn't stop 
her as she sat up and leaped off the bed, 
searching the floor for her clothes.  I slowly 
slid off my side of the bed, still nude, and went 
around to her.  She was clutching her underwear 
and jeans to her chest.  Her tee shirt and bra 
were downstairs on the living room floor.

I placed my hands on her shoulders and she froze 
looking up at me with a frightened expression.  
Tears pooled in her eyes and began to pour down 
her cheeks.  "I can't believe you set me up," 
whimpered.  "Not you!"

Now my face fell.  She'd totally misunderstood!  
"No, Sydney!  I've done nothing of the kind!  I 
could lose my job for being with you."

She just stared at me, her tears drying up, but 
her bottom lip quivering.  "I don't understand 
what 
the hell is going on here!  You're a fucking cop!  
Worse than a cop!"

"I care about you Sydney, probably more than I 
should.  I want to help you, and I have the means 
to do it!  Let me help you for Christ's sake! "  

She stood staring up at me, looking so child like 
with her clothes clutched to her chest.  I could 
feel her shivering.  "Put your pants on.  I'll get 
you a shirt.  You're freezing.  We'll go 
downstairs 
and talk about this some more."

She nodded numbly, totally overwhelmed and 
confused and began putting on her underwear.  
She stopped, "I need the bathroom," she said 
quietly.

"Go ahead.  You know where it is."

She nodded again and nearly trotted off to the 
bathroom next to the bedroom.  I heard the water 
running and went to the closet to get an old dress 
shirt.  I knocked gently on the door and said, 
"Sydney, I have a shirt for you."

She cracked open the door and stuck her hand out.  
I placed the shirt in it and let her pull it in 
and close the door on me again.  I sighed.  
Through the door I said, loud enough so could hear 
me. "Sydney, I won't hurt you."  I swallowed 
around the sudden lump in my throat.  "I promise I 
won't hurt you."

I took a deep breath and decided to give her a few 
minutes to herself.  This hadn't gone as 
smoothly as I'd hoped.  She was suspicious of me 
now.  I supposed in her ... profession ... she 
had an inbred fear of any type of law enforcement 
so I shouldn't have been surprised.  I'd 
arrogantly thought she would be impressed.  What a 
jerk.

I dressed quickly in jeans and a tee shirt, 
slipping into my moccasins that I used for 
slippers and 
went downstairs to put on some coffee.  It was 
going to be a long night and we were going to 
need it.

XXXXXXXXXX

I walked quietly across the carpet of the living 
room and stood silently in the doorway to the 
kitchen.  He was standing with his hip against the 
counter, his arms crossed over his chest.  He 
was staring at the coffee pot as if it held the 
answers to the universe, a frown pulling his mouth 
down at the corners.  I imagined that scowl had 
intimidated more than one person in his lifetime.

FBI.  Holy fucking Christ.  What had I gotten 
myself into?  How had I not known he was a cop?  
There was no point in running.  If I even made it 
out the front door, he'd hunt me down.  He'd 
sounded so upset when he'd said he wouldn't hurt 
me.

Could I believe him?  What the hell would a cop 
... excuse me, an Assistant Director with the 
FBI, want with me? I wondered.  He was a good-
looking man, certainly buff, or fit, as the kids 
said today.  He had a body to die for.  What the 
hell was wasting his time for with a hooker 
anyway?

He could probably have a lot of women.  He 
certainly lived nicely enough.  He was a tough 
guy, 
very masculine.  He was obviously used to getting 
his own way.  However, he could be tender 
and caring also.  I'd seen that too.

I'd asked myself that question before.  I'd known 
about his fantasies and just figured this was his 
way of not getting involved with anyone.  Like 
most men, I figured he was probably commitment 
phobic.  Not that I was one to talk.  Being a 
hooker didn't exactly pave the way for lasting 
relationships.

But he'd gotten under my skin.  I couldn't deny 
it.  Yes, he'd had his twisted little fantasies 
about 
that woman, Scully he called her.  But I'd known 
men a lot more twisted than Walter, with much 
sicker fantasies.  Walter was a lot of things, but 
I'd never thought of him as sick.  And he wasn't 
cruel.  Despite his acting out his fantasies with 
me, he'd never hurt me, and he'd actually been a 
pretty considerate lover.  I'd been with more men 
than I could count in the five years I'd been 
doing this and Walter was the only one that ever 
tried to tend to my pleasure.  

He was the only one that actually tried to make me 
come.  No one else ever had bothered.  With 
everyone else, I faked it.  I'd never really 
understood his motivation.  It was foreign to me.  
Maybe that's why I'd been so drawn to him, had 
wanted to get to know him, unlike my other 
customers.  

Not because I was craving for an orgasm but 
because I was stunned by his desire to make me 
enjoy myself.

Scully.  It was weird that he called her by her 
last name.  Then again, maybe not, kept her at a 
distance.   I knew she worked for him.

Shit!  Did that mean that this Mulder and Scully 
were FBI agents too?  Jesus!  She could be a 
secretary, but the way he talked about her, I 
doubted it.  He had said she was brilliant.  That 
wasn't an adjective you normally attached to a 
secretary.

He looked up then and saw me standing there.  He 
smiled sadly.  I held my arms out to my side 
and shrugged.  I was swimming in his dress shirt.  
It hung to my knees like a dress.  I felt pretty 
stupid, but I saw his eyes travel over me and his 
eyes sparked with pleasure.  I realized he liked 
the way I looked.  I couldn't imagine why.  I 
wasn't wearing a speck of make up and I was 
sporting old, worn out jeans and dress shirt about 
ten sizes too big.

Then I remembered his comments about my size.  
Apparently, the man liked tiny women.  
Whether that was in general or because of his 
fascination with Scully, I didn't know.  My mind 
was swirling with questions, so I figured I'd let 
him start this conversation.

"You wanted to talk, so talk," I said finally.

"You look better in that shirt than I do," he said 
gruffly.

I smiled and shook my head in bemusement.  "It's 
nearly a dress."

"I know.  You look so tiny in it.  Just the sight 
of you sometimes ... Jesus."

He swallowed heavily and waved me back into the 
living room.  He followed a minute later with 
two cups of coffee.  We sipped gingerly as we sat 
on opposite ends of the couch turned toward 
one another.  He pulled a leg up onto the couch 
and I mimicked his position.  He smiled sadly 
again, bringing his hand up to rest under his 
chin, his elbow propped on the back of the couch.

"I've been an ass, Sydney."

I decided I'd keep my comments to myself about 
that one.

"This started out as one thing but it's turning 
into something else.  I'm not even sure I 
understand 
it myself.  I've handled this all wrong.  Yes, 
there's some guilt involved."

"Walter," I interrupted.  "You don't need to feel 
guilty.  That's what hookers are for."

He winced and made a face.  "You're more than a 
hooker, Sydney."

"Am I?"

He looked at me sharply then.  "Yes, you are; to 
me you are.  Are you telling me that there is 
nothing more to you?  That you have no history, no 
past, no childhood?  No dreams?"

I laughed harshly then.  "Yes, I have a childhood, 
a rotten one.  Yes, I have a history, interesting 
to nobody but myself.  As for dreams ... my dreams 
died a long time ago, Walter."

He frowned.  "First, I think your history would be 
interesting to me.  I think there's a woman under 
all that make up and attitude that doesn't like 
who she is and would like to do something 
different."

"You think?" I asked sarcastically.

His bottom lip quivered for a second but then he 
held it under his top teeth and closed his eyes, 
sighing loudly.  "Look Sydney, could we skip the 
dispassionate sarcasm for a minute?  Can we 
really talk like adults?"

I hung my head, not knowing what to say.  I was 
used to keeping my guard up and I didn't know if 
it was safe to lower the shields, so to speak.  He 
was acting as if my shutting him out hurt him.  
Could that be true?  I didn't owe this man 
anything, then again, he didn't owe me anything 
either 
and he was offering to help me. He was watching me 
carefully when I looked up from under my 
lashes at him.  He sucked in his breath and I saw 
the familiar look of desire on his face.

He closed his eyes against it and opened them 
again.  "Sydney, I want to help you."

"Why?"

"Because I care about you.  Because you were a 
fantasy of mine at first, but now you're a woman 
I care about."

"Why?"

"I don't know why!" he cried.  He was obviously 
frustrated.  "Jesus!  I wish I didn't care 
sometimes.  I wish I could walk away from you with 
a clear conscious ..."

"You can," I stated bluntly, interrupting him 
again. 

"No, I can't," he said simply and stared at me 
again.  "I don't know when it happened, but at 
some point, I stopped seeing you as ..."

"Your fantasy?" I volunteered.

He nodded, looking embarrassed.  "The last time we 
were together, I got upset when you wanted 
to kiss me."

"I know," I said, swallowing against the sudden 
thickness in my throat and wondering about it.  
What was it about this man that made me so 
emotional? I wondered.

"I wasn't mad at you, Sydney."

"Sure sounded that way."

"I know.  This is where I became an ass.  Instead 
of facing what was really going on, I lashed out 
at you and made it your fault."

"What was really going on?"

"I was angry with myself.  I was angry because I 
couldn't ... keep this the way I intended it when 
it all began, uncomplicated and easy.  I was angry 
because I ... I WANTED to kiss you so 
fucking badly."

He broke off and looked at his lap.  "Was that so 
scary?" I asked.

He looked up at me again.  "Yes, it terrified me."

"Why?"

"I don't know.  Maybe because I knew what you 
were."

"A prostitute?" I confirmed.

He nodded.  "I'm not supposed to care, right?  I'm 
not a possessive man, Sydney but think about 
it for a minute.  How bad would it be for me to 
fall for a hooker?  I'm not supposed to want more 
from you.  There was no future in it."

"More from me?" I asked, slightly bewildered now.  
He was falling for me?

He stared at me in silence again until the moment 
stretched into the uncomfortable zone.  I 
cleared my throat.

"Yes, I wanted more from you Sydney.  I wanted to 
keep you here.  I wanted to kiss you and ask 
you not to leave.  I wanted to ... make a future 
with you in it.  I still do."

"I told you I'd leave the job for you, didn't I?"

"Yes ... and that shocked my socks off."

I smiled.  "I don't know why I said it.  It seemed 
right at the time.  I believed it at the time.  I 
wasn't 
thinking beyond the moment."

"What's changed?"

"Well, you threw me out for one.  I haven't heard 
from you in weeks for another.  And I thought 
about it afterwards and realized how ridiculous it 
was to think that I could ... be anything 
different."

"Why couldn't you?"

I chuckled mirthlessly.  "Why do you think?  I'd 
just be setting myself up for disappointment.  
Nobody cares about hookers.  Nobody has ever cared 
about me."

"I care.  I'll help you Sydney."

"What? In return for freebies?" I snapped out, 
wincing myself at the harshness of my words.

He recoiled as if I'd slapped him.  His mouth 
opened and the look of hurt and remorse on his 
face almost did me in.  "Jesus, Sydney, you think 
that little of me?  That's not what this is 
about!"

"Then what is it about?  What?  You want to help 
me.  Why?  To appease your guilt over 
pretending I was someone else and then pushing the 
real Sydney away?  Take it somewhere 
else, Walter.  I don't need your fucking pity.  
I'm a hooker, you had a fantasy and we played it 
out.  End of story.  Nothing complicated about it.  
I don't hold it against you.  I've met men with 
some sick fantasies.  If you must know, yours was 
rather tame.  But that's beside the point.  I 
never asked you to feel sorry for me and I don't 
want you to now."

He was shaking his head in the negative.  "No 
Sydney.  I want to help you because I care about 
you.  It goes beyond being attracted to you.  And 
even that's changed.  I was originally attracted 
to you because you looked a bit like her and you 
were my type."

"What's different now?" I asked.

"I'm attracted to YOU," he said softly.  "Not some 
vision of Scully.  I care about you.  It stopped 
being just about sex and that's what scared me, so 
I pushed you away.  The last couple of times, 
I pretended like I always had, gone through the 
motions because I thought that's what you would 
expect and it was partly habit.  But the truth was 
my anticipation was for you, not Scully.  I 
wanted Sydney."  He paused, licking his lips.  "I 
care about you," he repeated.  "Why is that so 
hard to believe?"

I tipped my head to the side asking a question 
without saying anything.  

He continued.  "I'm not attracted to a vision of 
Scully anymore, Sydney.  I'm attracted to you for 
you, because you're a beautiful woman and because 
that conversation we had made me look at 
my real feelings for you.

"You'd already stopped being a fantasy.  I 
realized ... I wanted to get to know you.  So I 
stayed 
away because I thought that was impossible."

"And it's not now?"

"No.  It was never impossible.  It was just about 
me accepting my feelings and finding the 
courage to do something about them.  Ironically, I 
think fulfilling my fantasy with Scully was what 
helped me do that.  Even as I told her I'd never 
had better sex than I'd had with her, your face 
was floating in my mind and I knew it was a lie as 
soon as the words were out of my mouth.  It 
had always been just as good with you.  But I was 
friends with Scully and now I realize I want 
that same connection with you, someone who could 
share my life with me."

"So you started seeing me as a person?  An 
individual that you ... liked?" I clarified.

"Yes, more than liked; as a person with feelings.  
Feelings I had hurt.  Feelings I had tromped in 
during my selfish quest for sexual gratification.  
But that's not all of it either.  I wanted you to 
like 
me and it scared me that I gave a damn what you 
thought.  When I saw you hurting the last time 
we were together, it nearly ripped my heart out to 
know I'd been so careless with another human 
being, with you."

I didn't know what to say.  Prostitutes weren't 
supposed to have feelings, but I did.  I was a 
prostitute, but he was right.  I was a woman too, 
and a person with feelings.  And this man had 
done something to unbalance me.  He made me forget 
when I was in his bed that he was paying 
me for this.  He made me forget that I was selling 
my body.  He made me feel ... special.  That 
was a dangerous road for me to go down.

"I don't know if I can trust you."

"Have I given you a reason not to?" he asked 
quietly.

I thought about it for a moment.  No, he hadn't.  
He'd always been straightforward with me.  I 
couldn't confuse that with telling me what I 
wanted to hear.  Just because he'd hurt my 
feelings, 
didn't mean he'd been dishonest.  He'd been very 
clear in the beginning, what he wanted and 
he'd never changed his routine, until the last 
time. This time.

This time.  Oh boy.

  "I want YOU, Sydney."

 "I'm going to make love to you."

Damn!  What the hell was he doing to me?  What 
frightened me more than anything was that I 
wanted to believe him.  I wanted it so bad I could 
taste it.  I wanted to believe he really cared for 
me.  I wanted to believe that there was a chance I 
could leave the job and make something of 
myself.  

"No, I guess not," I said finally.

The silence stretched between us again.  Finally 
he said, "What do I have to do to convince you 
that I won't hurt you?  That I mean what I say?"

"Where could this go, Walter?  Honestly?  Do you 
actually believe you and I could have a future 
of any kind?"

"Why not?"

I rolled my eyes again in exasperation.  He 
couldn't be that naďve, could he?

"I didn't say it would be easy, Sydney."

"I'm not even sure what you're asking for."

He licked his lips as and then said, "I want a 
relationship with you, Sydney.  I want you to be 
.... 
My friend, my girlfriend, my lover.  I'm sick and 
tired of being scared by what I feel.  I've always 
had a healthy sexual appetite and slightly off 
center tastes.  The women in my past couldn't 
handle it, so I suppressed it.  So maybe the fact 
that you are so sexually free is part of the 
attraction.  I know I won't scare you with what I 
want.  But I'm tired of pretending it isn't a part 
of 
me.  I want to embrace it, be a man about it.  But 
I also want the friendship part too.  That's a 
part 
of me too.  

"But to have a real relationship ... if that's 
going to happen, you HAVE to leave the streets.  
Whatever it takes.  I'll help you.  I'll take your 
pimp down.  I'll keep you safe here and off the 
streets.  And I'll help you find work or send you 
to school, whatever."

"How can I take all that from you?  I'll owe you 
my life," I said quietly.  "I'm not sure I'm 
comfortable with that."

"You're not taking anything, Sydney.  I'm giving 
it to you.  I'm offering it.  You didn't ask, 
you're 
not twisting my arm.  And you won't owe me a 
thing.  Even if it didn't work out between us, I 
would feel good knowing I helped you find another 
way to live."

"I have to think about it."

"I know.  I didn't expect you to decide right now.  
Take the time you need, but really think about it 
Sydney.  I hate that you're in danger every day."

"Why are you doing this?"  I held up a hand to 
forestall him.  "I know.  You care about me, but 
there has to be more to it."

He smiled softly.  "Not really.  Well, maybe."

"The truth, Walter.  Don't stop telling me the 
truth now."

"Some switch was flipped in the last couple of 
days, Sydney.  I realized that I wanted something 
more than I could ever have with Mulder and 
Scully.  Something definitely changed tonight too 
... 
between us.  I know you felt it.  I want to 
believe you did.  I don't want to believe that I 
felt that all 
by myself and it was a one way street."

"Felt it?"

"This pull between us.  I can't stop wanting to 
touch you.  But it's not just the sex. I want to 
protect you and keep you safe.  I think about you 
leaving and never coming back and I'm ... 
Jesus, just the thought of it hurts.  I want to 
take the sadness away, Sydney, that I see in your 
face. 

"I want to make you smile and feel safe and 
secure.  I also want to take down the bastard that 
put that sadness behind your eyes.  Now that I've 
started, I can't stop thinking about you and all 
the possibilities for us."

"Us," I said carefully, ruthlessly suppressing the 
sting of tears that came with his admission.  I 
blinked rapidly.  It hurt him to think that I 
might not come back?

"Yes, us.  That's what I want, Sydney, an 'us'." 

"What about your ... friends?"

"I'll straighten things out with them.  They are 
very understanding people."

I nodded.  "Will I have to worry about you with 
... them?"

He smirked then.  "Are you jealous?" he asked, 
seemingly amused.

I shrugged, feeling stupid.

"You won't need to be.  If I we do this.  If we 
become ... a couple, then I won't see them anymore 
... not that way, unless we all decided to be 
together, but that's another issue.  However, I 
have 
to see them at work."

"Work.  Are they agents too?"

He nodded.  "I'm their boss."

"Christ on a crutch!" I exclaimed.

He chuckled, amused by my reaction and I couldn't 
blame him.  "See, we're not all saints and 
we're not all devils."

I smiled, realizing that I had made as many 
assumptions and judgments as he had.  "Should I go 
now?"

He shook his head.  "No, we should have some more 
coffee."

"I don't think I want any."

"You sure?"

"Yes, I should go."

"No, you should stay."

I looked at him debating the pros and cons of 
staying.  His eyes held a sadness and longing I'd 
never seen before.  He was paying me for the 
night.  Then again, now I felt cheap taking his 
money after all we'd talked about.  But if I 
didn't, Carlos would have my hide.

As if he'd read my mind, he said, "I'll give you 
the money for the night.  That was the 
arrangement for tonight.  And don't worry about 
it.  We know there's more between us now but 
that doesn't erase reality.  I know you have to 
pay him."

I nodded and felt my face screw up into an 
emotional knot.  More between us.  Oh God, what 
the 
hell was I getting into?

"Hey, hey, baby, it's going to be all right," he 
cooed as he slid down to my end of the couch and 
picked me up by the waist, easily moving me onto 
his lap, my legs straddling his thighs. 

He called me Baby.  No one had ever called me that 
except in a lewd, suggestive way.  His 
uttering had been an endearment, outside of sex.  
He held me close.  The touch of his hands 
and the tender brush of his fingers on my back 
opened a floodgate and I began to sob, much to 
my chagrin.  It was all too much!  How long had it 
been since anyone had given a damn about 
me?  Been tender or comforting to me?  I realized 
that I ached for affection and caring.  I was just 
terrified to accept it.  If I did and then it was 
taken away, I might never recover.  He cooed, 
"Shhh, 
shhhh, it's all right, Baby.  Let it go."

"Baby?" I repreated, hating the squeaky sound of 
my voice.

"You like that?" he asked softly.

I nodded.  "I HATE IT!  I HATE MY LIFE!"

"I know, I know."

"I hate my fucking life!" I cried between sobs, 
wondering at this man's ability to strip away all 
my 
protective layers and lay me bare emotionally.

"We'll change it, Sydney, I promise.  We'll change 
it.  Just hang in there a little longer."  He 
kissed my tears away, laying butterfly kisses on 
my eyelids , my nose and finally on my lips, 
pulling them gently between his.  There was no 
passion in the kiss, just comfort and soothing.

I nodded and sniffled, my tears finally drying up.

"I feel so ... dirty and cheap.  You deserve 
better than me, Walter."

"You're not dirty or cheap, Sydney.  You're a 
woman trying to survive.  You've done what you 
had to do.  Now, let's get you tucked into bed.  
You must be exhausted."

I nodded and leaned back, hopping off his lap.  
"I'm sorry, Walter."

"Don't be.  You need to let it out sometime."

"I'm embarrassed."

"No need to be embarrassed with me.  I'm just 
going to turn off the coffee pot and I'll meet you 
upstairs, all right?"

I nodded numbly and made my way up the stairs 
towards the bedroom.

XXXXXXXXXX

I was so tired now and struggled to stay awake.  
He approached the bed gloriously nude.  "Sleep 
now ... Baby," he added with a quirky grin on his 
face.  

I smiled and flushed, embarrassed by my enjoyment 
of the endearment.  I responded, "No 
sleeping on the job," I joked, but it fell flat.

He grimaced, "Sydney ..." 

I cupped his handsome face in my hands.  "One more 
time, Walter.  Make me believe in US.  
Make love to me."

XXXXXXXXXX

I made love to her slowly, gently, as tenderly as 
I could.  She cried silently in my arms as her 
body rippled through her soft climax.  I kissed 
her tears away, feeling my heart break wide open.  
Afterwards, she curled into me and fell into a 
deep slumber.  Somehow, she couldn't hide her 
feelings when we were in bed.  She must hide them 
all the time, so I had to figure that I was 
affecting her big time for her to let those tears 
go.

I watched her sleep, her hand curled under her 
chin.  She looked like a little angel.  Twenty-
four 
years old.  Shit.  I was too old for her.  She 
deserved someone young and vibrant and her own 
age, but I realized that wouldn't happen for her 
anyway.  Most young men would be unable to 
see past what she did for a living and realize it 
was a necessity for her, not her nature.  My heart 
had broken in two when she sobbed in my arms.  
She'd seemed so fragile in that moment.  All 
my protective instincts had coming rushing to the 
surface.

I trailed my fingers through her silky hair and 
she sighed in her sleep.  A plan was forming.  I 
need to talk to Mulder and Scully and see what we 
could do about taking down this pimp.  I knew 
there was a task force on the D.C.P.D. that was 
formed to bring down the prostitution trade in the 
city to a manageable level.  I had no idea how 
successful they were.  Maybe with Sydney's 
inside information, we could feed them information 
and help bust things up for this guy.  

It would be tricky though.  It would leave other 
girls, I had no idea how many, vulnerable to other 
pimps if he was taken down.  Arrangement would 
have to be made to help them in some way.  

I sighed loudly realizing this would be a lot more 
difficult than I had planned.  Before now, I would 
not have considered the girls on the streets and 
what bringing their pimp down would do to them.  
I would have thought that their being arrested was 
a good thing if it got them off the street.  I was 
realizing now that there was a lot more to it than 
that.  These women needed to survive.  I would 
need to check with that task force and see if they 
had made any provisions for helping the girls 
that they were trying to pinch off the streets.  I 
doubted it.  Until then, how could I keep her off 
the 
streets? I wondered.

I did have some saved money to spend since I lived 
very frugally, but I wasn't rich.  Mulder was 
though.  I wondered if he would give me a loan.  
Maybe I could have Sydney tell the guy that I 
wanted her for a week or so and pay her the money 
that would require.  She could pay him in 
advance and he might leave her alone.  That way 
she could be tucked away here, safe and out 
of the line of fire. 

I needed to talk to Mulder and Scully.  It was 
late and there was nothing I could do now, but I 
needed to come up with a plan.  I would call them 
tomorrow and see if they could come over to 
talk with Sydney and me.  I would call the task 
force on Monday and get the ball rolling.  I had 
enough money to keep Sydney with me for a couple 
of nights.  Then I would have to wait for the 
next paycheck that wasn't until two weeks from 
now.

I had some money stashed for a rainy day but I 
didn't want to touch it if I didn't have to.  That 
money was there in case I ever suddenly had to 
find another place to live or some other type of 
disaster struck me.  I didn't want to let go of 
that security blanket, but I would if I had to.

Exhaustion finally took me and I rolled her gently 
onto her side.  She smacked her chops lightly 
and I smiled, feeling a warm tingle race through 
me as I slid behind her, spooning her tiny body 
in the cradle of mine.  I slipped one arm under 
her pillow and let her head lie on my bicep, the 
other I clasped around her waist and pulled her 
firmly against me.

She squirmed a little but then settled in.  I 
relaxed and felt sleep overtaking me.  This was 
not 
going to be easy, but I had a gut feeling it was 
going to be worth it.

XXXXXXXXXX

I woke Sunday morning to an empty bed.  I held 
still and listened and heard the shower running.  
I climbed out of bed and glanced at the clock.  It 
was only 8:00 AM.  I lumbered into the 
bathroom, feeling muscles protest at the forced 
activity.  I wasn't getting any younger.  I felt a 
flash of indecision as I thought of how young she 
was.  Then I looked up as I entered the 
bathroom and looked at her through the glass 
shower enclosure.  

The glass was not frosted.  It was clear as 
crystal.  With the life I led, I'd never wanted 
anyone to 
be able to sneak up on me while I was in the 
shower so I'd opted to have the frosted glass 
replaced with a clear glass shower door.  

My body reacted instantly to the sight of her 
small, tight body covered in water as it sluiced 
down 
her front.  My cock swelled but remained resting 
against my thigh.  Her hands were buried in her 
hair as she worked the lather of the shampoo into 
her hair.  Her breasts stuck out slightly from 
her position and I itched to touch them.  Not 
wanting to startle her, I cleared my throat.  Her 
head 
whipped toward me, her hands coming down.  She saw 
me in that instant but then grunted as 
shampoo ran into her eye and she turned to the 
spray of water and let it wash over her face.

I stepped forward and opened the door, climbing in 
behind her.  I waited for her to finish.  She 
turned to face me and smiled.  "Your turn," she 
said softly and moved around me so I could get 
wet.  As I stood there soaping my armpits and 
chest I felt her hands begin to roam over my back 
muscles, kneading gently as her slippery hands 
made their way down to my butt and back up to 
my shoulders.  

I moaned with pleasure and stretched into her 
hands.  We were otherwise silent as she slowly 
proceeded to wash me from head to toe.  She saved 
my genitals for last.  Her hand slid between 
the cheeks of my ass and cupped my balls that were 
feeling heavy and full.  I groaned, low and 
loud.  She slid her other hand over my hip.  As 
her soapy hand drew back and forth over my 
shaft, I hardened to fully erect, feeling a bit 
sore.  I turned to face her.  She must be sore 
this 
morning.

Slightly alarmed at the roughness of my voice, I 
asked, "Are you sore today?"

She made a face, slightly grimacing and said, "A 
little.  Nothing I can't handle."

I wondered about that.  She would probably never 
admit to being in pain.  I'd been rougher with 
her in the past than I was last night.  However, 
pushing past the barrier of her cervix had to have 
left her lame.

I pulled her to me and leaned down to kiss her.  I 
had to bend quite a bit to reach and I was 
struck again with how small she was.  My hands 
rested on her waist.  I broke the kiss and went 
down on my knees, coaxing her toward me, and 
spreading her thighs.  

She sighed as I licked her crevice from back to 
front and flicked my tongue against her clit.  I 
kissed and licked her, holding her firm, little 
buttocks in my hands to steady her as I slowly 
explored all her folds and finally ventured 
inside.

She gasped and pushed her crotch into my face.  
She murmured, "I want you ..."

I felt my chest tighten at her simple declaration.  
I continued without answering until I felt her 
legs 
trembling against my arms.  I slipped a finger 
inside gently and curled it toward me, searching 
for 
the elusive spot.  I felt her knees buckle and 
knew I'd found it as she moaned in delight, her 
arms 
bracing her against the wall of the shower and the 
door.  I held her tight with one arm to keep her 
upright and sucked her clit into my mouth, laving 
from bottom to top, peeling her hood away and 
back with every lap.

She shook and vibrated as she was taken by her 
climax.  She groaned and threw her head back.  
I rode it out with her, lapping gently.  

She finally hissed and pulled back.  I loosened my 
grip and stood clumsily, hearing my knee 
crack.  It echoed in the confines of the shower 
stall and I caught her amused look.  

"Think that's funny, do you?" I teased.

She just smiled wider and said again, "Your turn."  
She dropped to her knees and took my erect 
member in her tiny hand.  

I hummed as she wrapped her lips around the head 
and slid down as far as she could.  She 
pumped me with her hand and sucked the head of my 
dick until I was thrusting gently into her 
mouth.  Her free hand came up to fondle my balls 
and squeeze them gently.  That was all it took 
and I was gasping and letting go of my jism, 
shooting it into her mouth and down her throat.  
She 
hummed and swallowed, taking it all in stride.

She licked me clean and stood up.  We both rinsed 
off again and then stepped out, drying with 
the huge towels I kept on a shelf by the vanity.  
I went into the bedroom and retrieved a pair of 
gray boxer briefs and slipped them on.  I turned 
to find her admiring my body.  

I actually flushed a little under her intense 
regard.  She said softly, "You have a magnificent 
body, Walter."

I smiled.  "So do you, lady."

She raised an eyebrow.  "I've been called a lot of 
things, but 'lady' isn't one of them."

I approached her and wrapped her in my arms, 
towel, and all.  My lips dropped to her ear and 
said, "Then they were fools, Sydney.  You are so 
much more than you appear on the outside, 
although the outside isn't half bad."

"Half bad?" she joked.

I chuckled.  "You're like a damn vision, Sydney, a 
dream come true."

She sniffled a little into my chest and her arms 
came around my waist. "You're going to get under 
my skin if I'm not careful," she whispered.

"Would that be such a bad thing?"

"I don't know yet," she said solemnly. After a 
pause, she said, "It may be the stupidest thing I 
ever do but I want to try, Walter.  I have to 
trust somebody sometime.  I decided.  I want to be 
with you.  I want to leave the streets and if I 
don't do it now, I feel like I never will, like I 
will have 
lost my chance.  I hate it out there ... and I 
feel ... so safe when I'm with you, like nothing 
can 
hurt me."

I tipped her head up and kissed her gently, 
savoring the taste of her lips.  I pulled away, 
not 
wanting to get side tracked now.  "Let's get 
dressed.  We have some serious planning to do and 
I 
want to call Mulder and Scully."

"I have to go see Carlos."

"I know, but not yet."

"I have to check in by noon."

"That's three and half hours away.  Let's have 
some breakfast and I'll give you the money.  
Maybe I can get Mulder and Scully over here before 
you have to leave."

She nodded and backed up.  I grabbed some jeans, 
socks, and a white muscle tee and dressed 
hastily.  It was normally about $300 for her to 
spend the night like this.  I had six hundred 
stashed in my dresser.  I took it out 
surreptitiously and stuck it in my front pocket.  
She was 
coming back tonight if I had anything to say about 
it.


PART 5 (PG-13)
WALTER SKINNER'S APARTMENT
ALEXANDRIA, VA
9:00 AM - SUNDAY MORNING

We ate scrambled eggs and bacon and coffee.  I 
called Mulder when we were finished. 

"Can you come over?" I asked.

[Sure, what's up?]

"I have Sydney here."

[Oh!  What do you want me for?]

"Both of you actually.  I'm going to need your 
help with some things."

[What we talked about Friday night?]

"Yes."

[Give us a half hour.  We'll be over by 9:30.]

"See you then."

I hung up and found Sydney staring at me.  "What 
are they like?" she asked tentatively.

"They are very nice people, Sydney."

She grimaced.  "Lots of people are but they still 
treat prostitutes like they aren't people."

"You don't have to worry about them.  They aren't 
like that.  They encouraged me to go to you."

"They did?"

"Yes, they want me to be happy."

"And you think I can make you happy?"

"I think so.  I don't know.  There ware no 
guarantees but I want to try, Sydney."

Her expression was sad but there was a spark of 
hope in her light blue eyes.  "Me too," she said 
softly.  I smiled and kissed her forehead.  

"Let's relax on the couch with coffee.  I need to 
make some more phone calls.  What's your 
pimp's full name?"

XXXXXXXXXX

I sat quietly on my end of the couch with my legs 
curled underneath me as I listened to his side 
of the conversation. 

"Kimberly, it's Skinner."

His last name was Skinner.  I'd always thought it 
odd that it wasn't on his mailbox or the buzzer 
downstairs.  Kimberly?  Who the hell was Kimberly?

"Sorry to bother you on a Sunday, Kimberly, but I 
need a huge favor.  It's important."

There was a pause.

"Could you call that friend of yours on the 
Soliciting Task Force and ask him if they have any 
files on a Carlos Margales?"

I stiffened.  Task force?  What task force?  This 
could get creepy.

"Yeah, I'd like to keep it quiet for now.  If he 
has any files, see if he can get you a copy."

Another pause.

"Yeah, I appreciate it, Kim.  Thank you."

He hung up and turned to me.  "Kimberly is my 
secretary."

Oh!  I didn't respond.

"The Soliciting Task Force is with the D.C.P.D."

"I gathered that."

"Don't get nervous.  I'll keep you out of it, but 
they may have information we can use and I may 
have information they can use."

"From me," I clarified.

He nodded.  "Yes, maybe we can trade information."

I nodded, feeling a lump form in my throat.  I 
realized it was fear.  I was used to fear, I lived 
with it 
every day.  However, it was something I'd gotten 
used to, being on the streets.  It was a vague 
sense of unease that had sharpened my instincts to 
a fine point.  That fear I knew.  This fear was 
something altogether different.  It was the fear 
of the unknown.  I had no idea what was going to 
happen and I suddenly felt like my life was 
careening out of control.  It scared me not to 
have the 
control of the events in my life.  I was trusting 
Walter to make things happen and frankly, I didn't 
like it.  He could still turn on me.  My intellect 
told me I was an idiot to trust him, anyone, but 
especially an FBI agent. 

But my heart and my instincts told me that his 
motives were pure.  Being on the streets honed 
your bullshit detector.  And I knew he wasn't 
lying to me.  At least I knew that he believed 
what 
he was saying.  He didn't want to hurt me, but he 
might anyway.  

I cringed internally thinking that if people knew 
how scared and fragile I really was, I would have 
been dead by now.  He could hurt me so easily.  
Then again, I wondered if it mattered in the long 
run.  I hated my life anyway so what was the 
difference?  If there was a chance that he could 
make it better then I wasn't going to stand in his 
way, regardless of whether or not his motives 
were pure.  Did it really matter?  I had nothing 
to lose.  No family, no kids, not ties to anyone 
but 
Carlos. 

But Carlos was a dangerous man.  He'd hit me a few 
times when he was displeased but he'd 
never really hurt me.   I was too valuable to him.  
And I knew some girls out there had it a lot 
worse than I did.  Some of them lived four and 
five girls in a two-room apartment.  I had my own 
place and had earned more and more freedom as time 
had gone on.  Carlos trusted me and in a 
sick twisted way, I was loath to break that trust.  
I was a prostitute, but I had integrity.

I almost laughed out loud at that.  Honor among 
thieves.  How silly.  Integrity, me, a hooker.  
The 
whole concept was an oxymoron.  I sold my body for 
sex and was worried about breaking the 
trust of a pimp.  I didn't delude myself.  I was 
valuable to Carlos, but nobody was indispensable 
and if I ever betrayed him or defied direct 
orders, I knew he wouldn't hesitate to beat me.  
The 
only good thing was that he insisted his girls 
stay clean.  If he found out you were using drugs, 
you were gone.  If he found out you had STDs, you 
were gone.  He'd built a reputation on the 
street for having clean girls.  He paid to have us 
checked medically three times a year.  I went 
more often of my own accord.   Consequently, his 
reputation allowed him to charge more for his 
girls.  He was a very rich man now.

"Walter, what will become of the other girls?"

He was silent a moment and then said, "I thought 
about that last night.  That's one of the 
questions I have for the task force.  I want to 
know if they've made any kind of provisions for 
the 
girls they take down."

"And if they haven't?"

"I don't know, I'll think of something.  Mulder 
and Scully may have some ideas as well."

The doorbell rang and he jumped up to answer it.  
I kept my back to the door, again feeling a 
wave of uneasiness.  This was the woman he'd 
lusted after.  This was the woman he had 
pretended I was.  I felt an unfamiliar tug of 
jealousy in my gut and squashed it, telling myself 
not 
to be an idiot.  I heard him greet them.

"Come in, have a seat.  Coffee?"

"Love some," I heard a beautiful, smooth baritone 
voice say.  

A second later, I heard her say, "Me too, thanks."

I stood slowly and turned slowly, feeling my 
heartbeat accelerate at an alarming rate.  I 
glanced 
up to see the tall man taking her coat from her 
shoulders and turning to hang it on the coat rack 
that stood by the door.  I turned my head for my 
first look at the mysterious 'Scully.'

We both gasped at the same time.  It was eerie, 
almost like looking in a mirror, but not.  There 
were differences.  We stared openly at one 
another.  I realized she was looking for the 
differences as well. 

A felt my lips tug at the corners in amusement and 
hers did too.  We didn't say anything for 
several long minutes but just allowed each other 
the opportunity to stare.

She stepped toward me but stopped about three feet 
away.  She was wearing sneakers and I 
was barefoot.  I was a couple inches taller.  My 
hair was a darker shade of auburn, but the cut 
was almost identical.  Mine was a little shorter 
and thicker and bobbed under on the ends.  Her 
hair was a little longer.  Her lips were fuller 
than mine, but we both sported high cheekbones and 
light blue eyes.  Her figure was a bit lusher than 
mine.  It was hard to tell if her breasts were 
bigger as they were hidden under a bulky sweater, 
but I could see her hips were a bit womanlier 
than mine.

She cleared her throat finally and smiled. "Well, 
this is interesting," she stated simply.

The tall, dark haired man whispered, "Jesus, 
Double Whammee.  It's a little creepy."

I burst out laughing.  I don't know why, but the 
whole scenario struck me as hilarious all of a 
sudden.  Maybe it was nervous laughter, I'm not 
sure, but she laughed too and her husband 
started to smile at us laughing.  I heard him 
mumble, "Wow, my God Scully, she could almost be 
your twin.  It's even more apparent in the flesh."

Just then, Walter returned with two mugs of coffee 
and asked, "Having all this fun without me?"

Our laughter died abruptly.  I knew she had the 
same thought that I did.  We'd had our fun with 
him separately.  I bit my lip, not knowing what to 
say and now feeling awkward.

"Uh oh, sorry," Walter mumbled as he handed them 
their coffee and motioned to the chairs in the 
living room.  We all took a seat, Walter, and me 
on the couch and they sat in chairs facing us 
across the coffee table.

The man spoke next.  He leaned out of his chair 
and extended his hand.  "I'm Fox Mulder.  But 
everyone calls me Mulder."

I tentatively took his hand, really looking at his 
face for the first time.  He was a handsome man 
and I found myself caught by his hazel eyes.  They 
were very compelling.  I broke the stare and 
looked down at my lap as he pulled his hand back.  
"Nice to meet you," I muttered.

Scully didn't rise, but she said, "Obviously, I'm 
Dana Scully."

"But everyone calls you Scully, right?" I asked 
mildly.

They all chuckled.  She responded, "At work 
everyone calls me Scully.  Mulder calls me that 
because we got so used to our surnames, but I 
don't care. If you're more comfortable calling me 
Dana, that's fine too."

I nodded. "I'm Sydney, ... obviously," I added.

She nodded.  "Nice to meet you too, Sydney, we've 
heard a lot about you."

My gaze shot to Walter who was sitting back and 
seemed to be enjoying the exchange.  He 
glanced at his watch and said, "Do you need to 
check in?"

I startled, wondering at the time.  "What time is 
it?"

"Close to 10:00."

I relaxed.  "I have a little time."

He nodded.  "Why don't you call now and tell him 
you'll be late.  Tell him you have a chance to 
make more money."

I swallowed, suddenly embarrassed to be talking 
like this in front of these two people.  Normal 
people.  People Walter cared about.  I felt the 
unfamiliar sting of tears that this man seemed to 
evoke from me.  He put his coffee cup down and 
slid down the couch, putting his hand on my 
shoulder.  "It's all right, Sydney.  Don't be 
embarrassed.  They understand."

I glanced sideways and they were both nodding.  I 
felt like a jerk again.

I stood up abruptly.  "I'll use the phone in the 
kitchen."  I picked up my coffee cup and trotted 
into 
the kitchen.

As I hurried toward the phone, I heard Walter say, 
"Excuse me a minute."

I was dialing when he reached me and placed his 
finger on the disconnect button on the phone.  
I stopped and went still, turning to look at him.  
"Do you want me to call or not?" I asked testily, 
trying to cover my embarrassment.

He handed me his digital phone.  "Use this, harder 
to trace and it's signal is scrambled and 
blocked.  It won't show up on caller I.D.  I don't 
really want this loser knowing my home number 
or figuring out where I live."

I nodded and took it from him.  One hand cupped my 
cheek and she sighed.  "I didn't mean to 
embarrass you, Sydney.  I just wanted to get this 
out of the way and not have to rush or be 
interrupted later.  I want you to stay."

I nodded, swallowing hard.  "I just feel so ... 
inadequate ... cheap ... I don't know," I trailed 
off.

He lifted my face and leaned down to kiss me 
gently.  "Don't.  They are very understanding and 
so am I."  He stared at me a minute and then 
whispered, "God, woman, you break my heart 
sometimes."

I smiled sadly then, not sure what to say.  "I 
need to call," I said, my voice sounding hoarse.

He nodded and reached into the pocket of his 
jeans, pulling out a wad of cash and held it out 
to 
me.  I felt the traitorous tear stings my eyes 
again. "Way to go, Walter.  That's just the thing 
to do 
when I'm feeling cheap," I said.

He closed his eyes and sighed deeply. "I'm sorry, 
I didn't think.  I just want you to take it and 
tell 
him I've paid for two nights and you're staying 
tonight too."

I grabbed the money and stuffed it in my pocket, 
not counting it.  I knew he would never cheat 
me.  I paused wondering how I was so sure of that, 
but I was.  "Go to your friends, give me some 
privacy," I requested.

He nodded and kissed my forehead and then 
retreated into the living room.  I dialed the 
phone 
as I leaned on the counter.  It only rang twice 
before he picked up.   He didn't say anything, 
probably wondering that the number wasn't showing 
up on his caller I.D. on his cell phone.  I 
usually called him from home after a night out 
before I went to sleep.  My days usually began at 
8:00 PM.  I didn't bother to tell him that Carlos 
already knew where he lived.  When I'd started 
having him as a regular client, Carlos had wanted 
to know where he lived.  I'd showed him.  I 
regretted it now but I'd be damned if I was going 
to say anything at this point.

"It's Sydney."

[Where da fuck are you, girl?]

"I'm with a customer."

[Still?  What da fuck? It's almost 10 a'clock.]

"I stayed the night ...  with Mr. Nautilus."

[You get paid?]

"Yes, he paid for two nights actually."

[Two?  You shitting me.]

"No, He wants me to come back tonight.  This is 
the one that always wants me for the night."

[Yeah, I know, but now he wants you two nights in 
a row?]

"Yes."

[Mr. Nautilus really gotta a taste for your poon 
tang, eh, baby?]

I cringed at his crudeness, suddenly feeling very 
acutely the degradation of my life.  "Any 
problems with that, Carlos?" I forced myself to 
ask.

[Not so longs you get da green,]  he stated in his 
horrible English.

"I got it.  $600 right here in my pocket."

[In advance ... well, well, you done good, Red.  
How 'bout you bring me my half now.]

"I'm tired Carlos.  It was a rough night."  In 
more ways than one, I thought ironically.

[You can sleep after I has my money, honey.]  He 
chuckled, thinking his rhyme was clever.

"I really need to sleep Carlos.  Couldn't I bring 
it tonight before I go see him again?  I need to 
get 
home and go to sleep now or he won't be happy with 
what I look like when I show up tonight."  
He had no idea I'd slept well, really well, better 
than I had in years.  Having Walter wrapped 
around me like a warm, protective cocoon.  For all 
Carlos knew though, I'd been up all night 
'working'.

[Why you bein' harsh, honey? You don't never argue 
like dis?  You tellin' me the truff, aren't 
you?]

"Of course I am."

He was silent a moment.  [You my bess girl and I 
knows youse smarter dan to lie to me.]  He was 
silent, waiting for me act nervous or cagey to 
detect the lie.  I stayed silent.

Finally he said, [All right, but I let youse off 
the street for dis guy for two nights in a row, I 
wanna 
see da green befo'han.  No later than 6:00, baby.]

"I'll be there," I said wearily. 

[See ya den.]  He hung up.

I sighed with relief and looked up to see Mulder 
watching me from the doorway to the kitchen.  I 
flushed with embarrassment.  He smiled gently, no 
mocking in his expression.  "You don't need 
to be embarrassed, Sydney.  We really do 
understand."  

He swallowed visibly.  He continued.  "Walter 
filled us in a little on what he means to do.  
We'd 
be more than happy to help."

"Why do you give a shit?" I asked with my usual 
skepticism, my walls coming back up with a 
vengeance. 

He didn't react to my ungrateful tone.  "Because I 
care about Walter and so does my wife.  He's 
our friend.  He's gotten us out of more jams than 
you can imagine.  He's very good at getting 
people out of jams. You couldn't be in better 
hands, Sydney."

I just looked at him, not knowing what to say.

He sighed and looked at me again.  "I know you 
have no reason to trust us.  But we really will 
help you.  And if Walter trusts you and likes you, 
I'm sure we will too.  He's a good judge of 
character."

I snorted then.  "Yeah, he can pick 'em."

He pursed his lips and then said, "Stop beating 
yourself for caring, Sydney.  You're human.  It's 
all right to be frightened or confused."

I met his gaze. "I'm not frightened," I defended 
myself automatically.

He just smiled gently.  "Whatever you say."

"I'm not!" I exclaimed, hearing my own voice 
become shrill and cringing internally.

"We're not the enemy, Sydney.  That's all I wanted 
to say.  And as far as our relationship with 
Walter, we've left the ball completely in his 
court.  So there's no need for you to feel 
threatened 
by my wife."

"I'm not threatened," I stated, much more calmly 
than my last denial.  He believed me this time.  
He nodded.  

"Good.  Let's join them again and come up with a 
plan."

I nodded and followed him back into the living 
room.

XXXXXXXXXX

The guys decided they needed to talk finances and 
come up with a game plan for Monday 
morning.  I was very curious about this girl and 
what it was about her that had so captured 
Walter's interest.  

I could tell his interest was more than casual by 
the wistful way in which he looked at her.  There 
was lust there, but there was a lot more going on 
as well.  I liked to think that I could read him 
pretty well, and I saw concern and fear, but no 
pity.

"Sydney, why don't you and I go get a pizza or 
something or bring it back?"

She looked startled as I made the suggestion, but 
hesitantly nodded.  I turned to Mulder and 
Walter and asked, "What do you want on pizza, 
guys?"

"I like pepperoni," Walter suggested.

Mulder added, "How about pepperoni and mushrooms?"

We all nodded our agreement.  Mulder pulled his 
wallet out of his back pocket when I smiled and 
held my hand out.  I'd forgotten to bring any 
money with me even though I had my purse in the 
car.  He handed me forty dollars and I stuck it in 
the front pocket of my jeans.  

"See you later," I waved over my shoulder as I 
made my way out the door with Sydney on my 
heels.  We walked in silence to the car.  I slid 
behind the wheel and waited for her to buckle 
herself in.

"Alfredo's all right?"

She nodded, not saying anything.

"You all right?"

She barked out a burst of mirthless laughter 
filled with irony.  "Yeah, I guess so."

I decided not to push it right now.  I pulled out 
on the state road and said, "We'll stop at 
Alfredo's.  
They have good pizza and we can grab some coffee 
while we wait.  It usually takes about twenty 
minutes.  I don't know about Walter, but Mulder 
can eat half a pie himself, we better get two."

She smiled then and said, "Walter has a healthy 
appetite."

I grinned at her and wasn't sure if she was 
talking about food or sex, but decided not to 
clarify.  I 
hadn't missed the flash of jealousy that had 
crossed her face when I'd first stepped through 
the 
door, though she'd hidden it quickly.

Five minutes later I pulled into the parking lot.  
We went in, gave our order, and sat down in a 
booth in the back, asking for coffee.  After being 
served, we sat in silence for a moment while we 
fixed our coffee.  She blew on it tentatively and 
took a sip.  I realized I was going to have to be 
the one to break the silence.

"All right, I'll start."

She looked up and met my gaze but said nothing.

"This is awkward, Sydney, but I'm sure we can get 
past this."

"This?" she asked, with a hint of sarcasm in her 
voice.

I didn't blame her for being defensive.  On the 
other hand, I knew nothing about this woman, 
absolutely nothing.  However I could only assume, 
due to her lifestyle, that she was streetwise 
and no dummy.

"I'm no threat to you, Sydney."

"Who said you were?" she asked tonelessly.

I sighed deeply.  "Am I flattering myself?" I 
asked in a self-deprecating pitch.

She smiled finally and said, "No, not really."

"I don't know a thing about you, Sydney."

"No, you don't," she replied, no malice in her 
voice.  It was just a statement of fact.

"I would like to though," I said quietly.

She looked at me for a long moment and then said, 
"Why?"

I smiled.  "I care about Walter, he's a good 
friend of ours."

She grinned then.  "Yeah, I know just how good a 
friend he is of yours."

I looked at my lap suddenly embarrassed.  "Look 
Sydney, that's something we're going to have 
to talk about eventually but we don't have to do 
it today.  And that wasn't what I was referring to 
at all.  We've known Walter for over eight years.  
He's been our supervisor for all that time.  
We've been through countless jams and life 
threatening situations together.  I don't know if 
you 
can understand the bond that creates between 
people."

She looks politely interested.  "Yeah, I can.  And 
I'm sorry.  I don't mean to be a sarcastic bitch."  
She stopped and licked her lips.  "I guess I don't 
have a clue what to say really."

"I'm fumbling myself.  I just wanted you to know 
that ... if it matters to you ... I'm no threat to 
you.  
I care about Walter, but I'll let him go.  Not 
that it's my decision, but I mean I wouldn't fight 
it.  I 
want him to be happy and ... although we've 
enjoyed our brief time together ... Mulder and I 
are 
not what he needs.  I see that now."

"And you think I am what he needs?" she asks 
tentatively.

I smiled at her genuinely.  "Yes, I do."

"Why?"

"Your favorite question," I stated.

"No ... jealousy or resentments on your end?  You 
just started this relationship with him."

"No.  I love my husband to the point of 
distraction.  Walter was ... an exciting 
experience but all 
my love is for my husband.  He's my soul mate.  
There's no room to love anyone else, not that 
way."

"So it was ... just a physical thing?"

"Mostly, although we are friends and have a 
genuine respect and caring for one another.  I 
don't 
think I could have done it otherwise.  I couldn't 
do that with a stranger.  There was trust there 
from the start.  I know he cares about me and 
would never intentionally hurt me."

"He did hurt you though, didn't he?"

I was surprised he had told her.  "Not 
intentionally," I replied.

"But he ..."

"Did what I asked him to do, so if there's any 
blame, it rests squarely on my shoulders."

She pursed her lips.  "Look, Scully ... Dana, 
whatever."

"Whatever you're more comfortable with."

"He always called you Scully."

"That's fine, that's what most people call me."

"O.K., then.  Scully, ... I'm used to being very 
independent, other than my ... employer."

"I imagine you are."

"What I mean to say is that I'm not used to having 
anyone, particularly a man ... give two shits 
about me."

I felt a wave of sadness for her.  She was so 
young and I couldn't begin to imagine what her 
life 
had been like to lead her to the streets.  "He 
does care for you."

Her bottom lip quivered slightly and so quickly, I 
thought I might have imagined it, but then it 
quivered again and she looked up at me.  Her eyes 
were suspiciously moist but no tears fell.  "I 
want to believe that," she said finally, her voice 
a little huskier than before.

"Believe it.  Before we were even together, he 
talked about you, said he ... was sorry about the 
way he'd treated you."

"He shouldn't be sorry.  I'm a hooker," she said 
blandly.

"You're more than that to him, and I think you 
know it," I said simply.

She looked at me for another silent moment. "Like 
I said, I want to believe it.  I want to believe 
it 
so bad ... I can ... fucking taste it!" she hissed 
through clenched teeth.  I could tell she was 
struggling for control of her emotions.  When she 
had them under control she added, "But I'm 
terrified to believe it.  Can you understand 
that?"

I nodded.

"I don't think you can.  I hate my life ... 
Scully, but it's the only life I know."

"Are you afraid of Walter?  He'd never hurt you."

"Not per se.  I'm afraid of ... feeling too much 
and having it taken away.  That might be worse 
than never having felt it at all."

"I don't believe that personally, but I understand 
what you mean.  I suppressed my feelings for 
my partner for years, and all it brought me was 
depression and misery.  I had all the excuses why 
I shouldn't want him, why I shouldn't touch him.  
And in the end, they all crumpled to dust."

"Why?"

I smiled at her favorite one word question again.  
Her lips turned up at the corners quickly but 
then she frowned again.  "Because it's always 
better to be with someone than to be alone."

"Not always."

"Maybe not in your situation, but I mean, if you 
care for someone, it's always better to let it 
show.  
Repressed feelings will eat you up from the inside 
out until there's nothing left but an emotional 
husk.  That's just existing, not living.  That's 
what I did for a lot of years.  I convinced myself 
that 
it was safer that way and I was terrified of 
losing what we had ... a beautiful friendship and 
an 
amazing partnership."

"What changed your mind?"

"I couldn't ignore it anymore.  And NOT giving in 
was starting to destroy the very thing I was 
trying to preserve.  We were best friends, but I 
started avoiding him outside of work because 
being with him was ... not painful exactly but ... 
tense.  I wanted to touch him so badly and when 
I couldn't it ruined my enjoyment of the time we 
were together."

She seemed deep in contemplation of that when the 
waitress reappeared to refill our coffee 
cups.  After she walked away, Sydney looked at me 
and changed the subject, "It's a little eerie 
how much we look alike."

I smiled then and nodded.  "Yeah, it threw me a 
little there at first, even though I'd seen you 
..."  I 
stopped, realizing that she may not know that we'd 
seen that tape.  How embarrassing was that 
for her and did she even know about the tapes.  
Jeez, that was a dumb move, I thought.  Careful, 
Dana, I scolded myself.

She flashed me a grin.  "I know about the tapes.  
He told me you saw one and that's how you 
found out about me.  I don't know which one you 
saw, but ... it doesn't really matter.  I figure I 
don't have many secrets in that area anyway."

I sighed in relief and she chuckled at my visible 
relaxation.  "Whew!" I said dramatically.

She laughed then, genuinely laughed for the first 
time.  It was not the nervous laughter that had 
erupted when we first stared at each other; this 
was relaxed and truly amused laughter.  Her 
voice was low but not deep and her laugh was rich 
and full and it transformed her face from 
sadness to truly beautiful.  I saw in an instant 
what Walter saw when he looked at her.  She was 
a beautiful girl.  She was me 15 years younger.  
I'd never thought of myself as beautiful 
particularly but I thought that this girl, with 
her slimmer lips and young vitality was beautiful, 
especially when she laughed.

I grinned at her and then said, "Walter wouldn't 
go this trouble for just anybody, Sydney.  He 
must care very deeply for you."

Her mirth ended and she stared at me and then 
said, "I'm afraid.  I know that's stupid, but ... 
I've 
run from cops all my life.  I nearly had a heart 
attack when he told me what he did for a living.  
I 
immediately assumed he'd been setting me up."

I laughed this time and shook my head.  "You don't 
know him very well do you?"

She said, "In some ways I do, in others, I'm 
baffled."

"Join the club."

We smiled at each other then.  "He hadn't called 
me in over a month.  I didn't think he would 
again and I ... was surprised at just how much 
that ... hurt.  And I was pissed at myself for 
letting 
myself care about him.  I'm not supposed to, you 
know?"

"No, I don't imagine that would normally be in 
your best interests.  You're human Sydney, and 
whether you think it's right or wrong, you didn't 
make a mistake with Walter.  He's a lot of things.  
He can be blustery and he can be stubborn and 
difficult, but one thing he isn't is a liar.  If 
nothing 
else, you can count on him to be honest with you.  
If you are his friend and honest with him, he 
will be honest with you, Sydney.  He'll say what 
he means even if it isn't what you want to hear."

She nodded, swallowing heavily.  "Good to know."

The waitress approached and slid our pizzas onto 
the table.  I paid her and then asked, "Do you 
want to talk some more?  We don't have to race 
back with these."

"No, let's go back.  I mean, I may want to talk 
more later, but I want to know what they plan on 
doing."

"Me too.  And Sydney?"

"Yeah."

"We'll help out however we can.  We have ... 
resources, and we'll use them."

"I don't doubt it," she said.

"I meant we have personal resources, not just the 
Bureau."

She raised her eyebrows in question then.

"Mulder and I have ... money and connections.  
We'll make sure you're safe."

"Is that why he asked for your help?"

"Partly, and partly just because he trusts us."  I 
paused.  "God, you look more like me than my 
own sister did.  It freaks me out a little."

She smiled.  "I may look like you, Dana, but ... 
I'm about the farthest thing from being like you 
as 
anybody could get."

I was silent a moment, wondering what exactly she 
meant.  Was she simply referring to our 
professions or something deeper?  Finally, I said, 
"Don't be too sure, Sydney.  We're both 
women and we think differently than they do.  We 
girls have to stick together."

She nodded.  "Let's go, then."


PART 6 (R)
WALTER SKINNER'S APARTMENT
ALEXANDRIA, VA

The men had been busy making plans while we were 
gone.  They were both pacing the living 
room with digital phones to their ears as we 
returned.  They both stopped talking abruptly and 
waved us in.  We put the pizza on the coffee table 
and retreated to the kitchen to find napkins 
and paper plates and Parmesan cheese.  When we 
emerged, the guys had both ended their 
calls and had the pizza boxes open, staring 
longingly at the delicious smelling pies.

Dana grinned at me.  "Some things never change."

I laughed in spite of myself.  I didn't want to 
like her, but I did.  I think maybe I was more 
afraid of 
her judgment than anything else.  After all, 
Walter had wanted her or I never would have been 
in 
his life in the first place.  On one level, I owed 
her for that if this worked out.  On another 
level, I 
wondered if I would always be unsure of him when 
she was around.  I would have to get over 
that.   She said she wasn't a threat and maybe in 
her mind she wasn't.  

What about Walter's feelings?  Would he always 
prefer her, the real thing?  Would I always be a 
substitute?  He said I wasn't anymore that he 
wanted me for me, but I found that hard to 
believe.  
My brain just didn't want to wrap around that 
thought and embrace it.  It was a dangerous one to 
have and believe.  He could break me emotionally, 
and I didn't remember any man ever having 
that power over me since I was a little kid.  My 
father broke me and no one else had ever been 
given the opportunity since.

I was taking the biggest chance of my life.  My 
mind was in turmoil.  I knew that regardless of 
whether it worked out with Walter, I wanted this 
chance.  How long was I going to survive on the 
streets anyway?  I would be old before my time and 
the streets were unforgiving.  And nobody 
wanted a haggard, old whore.  And that was what I 
would become.  I'd already seen the results 
in the faces of older, more experienced women that 
walked those streets.  I had to take the 
chance, but my survival instincts kept getting in 
the way.  I wanted to keep those walls up.  
However, Mulder and Scully's easy acceptance of me 
and Walter's loving glances were chipping 
away at my natural defensive posture.  

I don't ever remember being so scared.  Carlos 
didn't even scare me like these people did, 
maybe because I understood Carlos.  I knew what to 
expect.  Better the devil you know than the 
devil you don't know, I guess.

XXXXXXXXXX

I looked surreptitiously at Walter and Sydney 
sitting on the couch together.  Scully sat in the 
chair next to mine, eating slowly with her plate 
in her lap.  Walter kept glancing at her and I 
would see an expression on his face that I could 
only describe as excitement.  Not arousal, but 
excitement.  He was looking forward to this.  I 
wasn't sure if it was the challenge of taking this 
idiot off the street and being out in the trenches 
again, or the excitement of actually being able to 
have Sydney with him on a permanent basis.

While the girls were gone, he'd expressed some 
concerns as to whether she would stay when 
this was all over.  I didn't know her well enough 
to say and suggested we take this one step at a 
time and not worry about what she might or might 
not do at this point.  He agreed, but I could see 
he was troubled.  I knew he cared for this girl, 
but even I hadn't realized how much.  I think he 
really hadn't realized it either until the 
prospect of having her with him was a real 
possibility.  He 
hadn't wanted to like her that much ... but he 
did.  I could see it in every glance and every 
slow 
tug at the edge of his mouth that wanted to become 
a smile whenever he looked at her.  He was 
well and truly hooked.

Before now, even before we were together, I'd 
noticed that if Scully was in the room, he 
couldn't 
take his eyes off her.  It was different today.  
Sydney was here and she was the one his eyes 
kept going back to like a magnet.  He hardly even 
glanced at Scully at we talked. 

We finished eating and sat back, satisfied for the 
moment with our full bellies.  "What now?" I 
asked.

Scully said, "Why don't you tell us what you've 
done so far."

I turned to Scully.  I called our accountant and 
told him that I was going to be making a large 
withdrawal tomorrow and to make out the paperwork 
and have it waiting for me at 9:00 AM.  She 
nodded and asked, "And this is for?"

"I'm going to lend Walter $4,200."

"What?!" Sydney exclaimed.

I smiled and looked at Walter, deciding he'd 
better explain this.  "Sydney, ... if it's 
possible, I'm 
going to ask you to tell Carlos that I want to 
take you away on vacation for two weeks."

"Are you fucking nuts?" she asked immediately.

He turned to look at her, licking his lips and 
looking a tad nervous.  "No, I'm not, and I don't 
see 
how he will be able to turn down $2,100. up 
front."

She just stared at him.  "He'll be suspicious."

"Tell him that I'm a businessman and I'm going to 
a conference where I don't want to be 
unescorted.  That all the men there will have 
dates and I don't want to take someone who will 
think there are any strings attached."

She looked at him solemnly.  "I don't know ..."

"There are strings attached, Sydney.  You know 
that.  You know I want you with me.  He will think 
you're out of town and you can lay low here.  If 
you have to go out, Scully will go with you and we 
can keep you out of your neighborhood where he 
would be likely to see you.  Having you 
completely out of the picture will allow us to ... 
do this without fearing that you'll get hurt."

She looked at him.  "You're crazy, it won't work."

"It will work.  Tell him tonight when you go see 
him."

She was shaking her head.  "You don't know Carlos.  
He won't let me out of his sight that long."

I cleared my throat, "What if you tell him 
Walter's willing to pay double."

She turned to me with her brows scrunched 
together.  "You're all fucking crazy!' she 
exclaimed.

"Tell him, $4,200. up front. That's $600 a day.  
That'd be high even for a good week, wouldn't it?"

"Mr. Mulder, I can't take that kind of money from 
you."

"Sure you can, and you will.  It's nothing to me 
anyway."

"$4,200 is nothing to you!??"

I looked at her calmly and decided there was no 
harm in telling her.  "I don't advertise it 
because 
then all the nuts come out the woodwork with their 
hands out, but ... I'm a millionaire, Sydney.  
$4,200 is nothing to me."

She stared at me in silence, her mouth hanging 
open, trying desperately to believe what I was 
saying.  "I can't be gone for two weeks."

"Don't know unless you ask, do you?" I countered.

She turned to Walter.  "What if he says, 'No'?" 

"Then we'll come up with something different, but 
I'd like to try.  Do you think you'll be in 
danger, 
just from asking?"

"I don't think so, " she replied, but she didn't 
sound convinced.  

"You want me to pose as a new customer?" I asked.

She turned to me.  "He was surprised Walter wanted 
me for two nights."

Walter's eyebrows raised, "Really?"

"Yeah, I think his response was, 'Really gotta a 
taste for your poon tang, eh, baby?'?"

Walter visibly cringed and made a face.  "Shit," 
he muttered under his breath.  She looked at him 
with mock innocence.  "Carlos is not a complicated 
person, Walter."

"So I gather," he said, disgust dripping from his 
voice.  "Jesus, what an asshole."

Sydney merely shrugged.  "A new customer might be 
more believable.  And if he thought that 
you might be a repeat, it would intrigue him, the 
scent of more money.  I've mentioned Walter too 
many times.  I don't use his name, but he knows 
who I'm talking about."

"What do you call me?" Walter asked.

"Mr. Nautilus," she said with a perfectly straight 
face.  Scully and I burst out laughing as Walter 
made another face of distaste.  It was funny, I 
couldn't help it.

Walt looked at us, "It isn't that funny," he said 
dryly.

As Scully and I tried to get our mirth under 
control and Sydney grinned at our reaction, Scully 
said, "Yes, Walt, it is!" 

Another fit of giggles overtook her and Sydney 
started laughing too.  "Well, I couldn't give him 
your real name.  I didn't even know it for one."

We all quieted at that.  Walter looked at her, 
"You knew my name was Walter."

"Yeah, but I didn't know if that was your real 
name.  Lots of johns give false names, and I 
didn't 
know your last name, not that I make a habit of 
knowing them anyway.  However, I find out by 
accident sometimes.  You on the other hand, don't 
have your name on your mailbox and you 
never leave any mail or anything out where I could 
see it."

He swallowed and looked down.  "I didn't want you 
to know who I was."

"Afraid I'd rat you out?"

He looked distinctly uncomfortable.  "Or blackmail 
me," he said finally.

I looked at him suddenly.  "Walter, you didn't 
think that break in was her did you?"

"No, I knew it was two men, but I didn't know if 
it was her pimp or not."

"I thought you suspected, Krycek?" Scully asked.

He shrugged.  "Could have been him too, I just 
didn't know.  Can you imagine a pimp getting a 
hold of my name and knowing who I am?  He could 
black mail the shit out of me."

We all looked somber then.  Sydney said, "I never 
thought of that, of course, I didn't know what 
you did for a living."

"Now you do," he stated simply.  "It was no 
reflection on you, Sydney, but it was a concern of 
mine."

"Still is, right?"

He shrugged his big shoulders again.  "I'd rather 
no one ever finds out that we met that way, but 
if they do, we'll cross that bridge when we come 
to it."

"I can't let you risk your job," Sydney replied 
quietly.

He looked at her.  "I told you before, you aren't 
asking me for anything. I'm offering.  If we take 
this guy down, then that's the perfect cover."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

I cut in at this point, seeing that Walter was 
uncomfortable with these explanations.  "He means 
that if people were to ask him why he was with a 
prostitute, he could say that you were an 
informant and that he wasn't with you for sex."

Her head whipped around to look at him.  "You said 
you'd keep my name out of it."

"And I will," he stated firmly.  "Even if someone 
finds out I was with a prostitute, they don't have 
to know it was you."

"How will you explain my presence?"

"I'll just say we met at a coffeehouse or 
something, that you just moved into town."

"What if one of my clients recognizes me on the 
street."

He looked at her, swallowing hard again.  "I don't 
know yet, Sydney.  I haven't worked it all out to 
the last fucking detail!" he said, raising his 
voice and sounding extremely frustrated.

"Sorry," she replied, barely loud enough to heard.

He looked instantly contrite and slid down next to 
her on the couch and pulled her into an 
embrace.  She almost looked like a teen child in 
his arms.  He dwarfed her even more than he 
did Scully.  She was so ... petite all over.  "I'm 
sorry, Sydney, it's just that I can only work one 
thing out at a time right now.  First things 
first, all right?"

"Yeah, I just don't want you to get caught out 
because we don't have a plan."

He smiled at her.  "We'll work it all out.  We 
don't have much time though.  If he falls for the 
bait 
and we can hide you away here, it will be easier 
and quicker to take him down.  And if he thinks 
you are out of town, he won't suspect you of 
ratting him out." 

Now it was her turn to cringe.  She had to be 
frightened and the term 'ratting someone out' 
probably didn't sit well with her.  I'd been no 
stranger to prostitutes before Scully came along 
and 
even for a while after she'd joined the X-Files.  
I'd succumbed to the temptation before in my 
past.  That was one of the reasons that I didn't 
judge Walter for turning to her.  I knew the 
loneliness that ate you up from the inside and the 
fear of going into a committed relationship that 
would put that person in danger.  Prostitutes were 
safe in that there were no strings, no 
obligations and they took care of a need.  

I broke in at this point to suspend the awkward 
moment.  "We do need your help though, Sydney.  
Basic information," I informed her.

She nodded and asked quietly, "Let's get it over 
with.  What do you need to know?"

XXXXXXXXXXXX

I resolved to stay in close contact with Sydney.  
She was cooperating with the guys, but 
something told me that there was a puzzle piece 
missing.  She hadn't done or said anything to 
make me think that, but call it woman's intuition, 
there was something she wasn't telling us and it 
worried me.

I studied her face and body language as Mulder 
asked her questions.

"Where does he live, Sydney?"

"In an apartment above the Grand Hotel.  Number 
432."

"How many body guards does he keep?"

"Six that I know of."

"Which ones are with him at night?"

"Two, one inside and one outside the door of the 
suite."

"Do you know their names?"

"They call them Slimmy and Toad.  I don't know 
their real names."

"What weapons do they carry?  Do you know?"

I tuned them out as the questions went one and 
just studied her.  She answered calmly and 
without emotion.  To an outsider, she would appear 
to be totally unaffected by this.  However, I 
heard her hesitate a few times.  I wondered why 
she was frightened about asking for two weeks 
to go away when that much money was involved.  Of 
course it would all be going to her pimp, 
and she had rent to pay. That could be it but I 
didn't think so.

I couldn't put my finger on it but something was 
missing here.  And I was going to figure out what 
it was.

XXXXXXXXXX

Sydney left that night at 5:00 to go see her pimp 
and then she was returning.  Mulder decided to 
take her and stay outside in case Carlos wanted 
verification of her 'client'.

As it turned out he did.  He emerged from the 
lobby of the Grand Hotel and Mulder took his 
picture with a tiny label camera the Lone Gunmen 
had equipped him with.  Carlos slipped to the 
passenger side of the car and Sydney waited on the 
sidewalk.  Mulder had driven our Mercedes 
rather than the government issue Taurus that they 
might recognize him as a cop.  Of course, 
driving a Mercedes in that section of town wasn't 
a good idea but we didn't really have a choice.

Walter and I had followed from a discreet distance 
and parked a block back from the 
rendezvous.  We both watched through binoculars as 
Carlos leaned into the window that Mulder 
had rolled down.

His wire picked up everything loud and clear.  We 
hadn't wired Sydney because we were afraid it 
would be discovered.  That would be all he needed 
to go into a rage and kill her and we weren't 
taking any chances with these last contacts she 
had to have with him.

He spoke quietly as though not wanting to draw 
attention.  "Meet me at the diner two blocks 
down, Dandy."  He looked up at Sydney.  "You walk 
with me, Baby."

Without another word, he spun on his heel and hit 
the sidewalk with Sydney close on his heels.  
Mulder pulled out and drove to the diner.  Again 
we parked one block back and observed the 
door to the Noah's Ark Diner.  Mulder said into 
his wire, "He's got a shoulder holster on under 
that leather jacket, probably a .22 of some kind.  
I couldn't get a good look.

We waited until they were inside to exit the car 
and casually made our way to the sidewalk 
across from the door.  Walter looked down at me 
and said, "You should probably wait in the car."

"Why, so you can go nuts at exactly the wrong time 
with no one here to stop you?" I asked 
sarcastically.

He gave me a dirty look.  "No, because if he sees 
you it may tip him off.  You two look at lot alike 
you know.  Nobody's going to see that as a 
coincidence."

I sighed, knowing he was right.  "Don't do 
anything stupid.  Let Mulder handle it," I warned.

He nodded.  "I won't.  I want this bastard and I'm 
not going let him slip away on some stupid 
technicality."

"Then stay out of it, Walter."  I paused.  "Even 
if he touches her," I added.  He looked at me 
again, his face screwing up into his trademark 
scowl.  "I mean it, Mulder will handle it.  Trust 
him 
to protect her, Walter."

He nodded sharply.  I wasn't convinced but made my 
way back down the sidewalk out of sight of 
the diner.  I slid into Walter's car and locked 
the doors to wait, my eyes on him every second.

XXXXXXXXXX
NOAH'S ARK DINER
SOUTHEAST SECTION
WASHINGTON, D.C.
MONDAY - 11:00 AM

We had decided to have Sydney pay for last night 
on her own.  She returned and we continued 
to plan late into the night. 

This morning we'd contacted the task force and 
Kimberly gathered information and money and 
then set out.  We figured it would be less 
suspicious if Sydney's two proposals were 
separated.  
If she gave him the money for night two and asked 
for two weeks away at the same time it would 
have looked suspicious.

So she returned with me this morning and retrieved 
him from the hotel.  I was hoping we could 
avoid this confrontation but I hadn't really 
thought he would take her at face value.

We sat in a booth near the back.  Sydney and I on 
one side and Carlos on the other.  He was 
eyeing me like a snake.  Finally, he spoke, "What 
you want my girl fo'?  S'plain dis to me."

"I'm a businessman, software company.  Once a year 
we go to a convention.  Lots of hotshots 
there.  It's considered ... uncouth to show up 
without a ... trophy wife or girlfriend."

"Good lookin' guy like you don' have no girl?"

"No, I don't want one.  They just misinterpret 
things and think I'm getting ready to buy a ring 
and I 
don't want that, man," I said in my best casual 
voice, rolling my eyes.

He chuckled, "Yeah, dey can git pretty clingy."

"Exactly, and if I ask some woman I know, they 
think I want to get serious if I'm asking them to 
go 
away with me on a business trip.  We don't do a 
lot of work, it's more schmoozing  with the big 
money investors, but I don't want to go alone 
either."

"Why not?"

"Looks bad.  Look, ... Carlos is it?  I don't have 
time to explain all the politics to you."

"You will if I wan' you to," he replied calmly, 
but there was steel in his voice.

I nodded. "Is that really necessary?  I don't need 
anyone seeing me in here with a known pimp 
either."

"Shhh, keep your voices down," Sydney admonished.  
We both gave her a dirty look; mine for 
show, his for real and she shrunk into the corner 
of the booth.

"You don' wan' to be seen wit me, but you're 
willin' to take a hooker wit you?"

I stared at him like he was an idiot.  If I 
appeared too saavy, I would blow it.  He wouldn't 
expect 
me to know how the game worked.  "No one will know 
she's a prostitute.  I'll buy her appropriate 
clothes.  She just has to hang on my arm and smile 
a lot at these gatherings."

"And fuck your brains out at night," he added.

I raised my eyebrows.  "Maybe, I'm paying for it, 
aren't I?"

He nodded.  "Yeah, so you say."

"You want the money now?"

"No!  You a fuckin' idiot!  Youse never give money 
in a public place."

I nodded, swallowing, feigning embarrassment at my 
ignorance.  He clucked his tongue as if to 
say I was a total moron.  But my act of naiveté 
may have convinced him.  He sighed and said to 
her, "You got jobs for the next two weeks?"

"I can let my regulars know I'll be gone.  No big 
deal.  Nothing that can't wait."

He nodded.  "All right, let's go out to your car, 
fancy boy and THEN you give me the money.  You 
got that, bright boy?"

I nodded enthusiastically, playing the part of the 
relieved idiot.  He shook his head and stood up, 
walking out without another glance backwards.  I 
slid out of the booth and held out my hand.  
Sydney took it and I pulled her to her feet.

She smiled hesitantly and said under her breath, 
"Nice show,"

I smiled down at her and said, "Let's catch up to 
him."

She nodded and we went out to the sidewalk.  I 
unlocked my car and he got in the front seat.  
Sydney slid into the back.  I locked the doors and 
then turned to face him.  He was pointing a 
gun at me, waist height, out of sight of the car 
windows.   

"Jesus!" I exclaimed, putting my hands in the air.

"You a fuckin' moron.  Put your fuckin' hands 
down!" he hissed.

I slapped them down on my thighs.  Playing an 
idiot was starting to get to me.  "Is that really 
necessary?" I asked, my voice shaky.  

He didn't answer my question.  "Where da money be, 
pretty boy?" he asked.

I replied, "In the glove box."

He raised his eyebrow and turned and opened the 
glove box.  I glanced to the opposite side of 
the street and saw Walter lounging in the doorway 
to the abandoned Palace Theater, picking his 
nails, one shoulder leaned against the ornate 
column framing the boarded up door.  He glanced 
at me and then away again.  Only I could have 
detected his tense body stance.  I looked up the 
street and saw two goons that I could only assume 
were his people watching the car like a hawk. 

I'd put it in a plain business envelope.  He 
pulled it out and opened the tucked in flap with 
one 
hand. He braced it against his stomach, the gun 
still pointed at me as I breathed hard, trying to 
fake that I was nervous and panicking a bit.  I 
was nervous.  I never liked having a gun pointed 
at 
me.  I had one in a belt holster at my low back, 
concealed by my suede jacket, but if I reached for 
it, he would fire before I could pull it out.

Sydney was silent through this whole thing, not 
seeming to be nervous.  I wondered how many 
guns she was around on a daily basis and frowned.  
He thumbed through the $100 bills in the 
envelope, counting it.

Finally, he looked up at me, stuffing the envelope 
into the inside pocket of his leather jacket.  
"All 
right, you wasn't lying 'bout da green.  You can 
have her, starting tomorrow night, all right.  
Tonight I want her to work."

I nodded, wondering how Walter was going to take 
that.  He climbed out of the car and walked 
down the sidewalk without looking back.  I watched 
until the two goons followed several seconds 
later, trailing him at a discreet distance.  I 
flashed Walter a thumb's up as Sydney slid out and 
climbed into the front seat.  Walter began his 
trek back to the car and I pulled out and headed 
back for his apartment in Alexandria.

XXXXXXXXXX

Sydney was quiet for a minute and then said, 
"Walter won't like it.  He'll want to give me 
money 
for tonight, but I really should work."

"You're right, he won't like it."

"He doesn't own me," she said defensively.  "Even 
if he is helping me out."

"I think you know that's not what it's about."

"Really?  No, I don't know that."

"Sydney, he's worried about you getting hurt.  
There are lot of weirdoes out there."

She snorted.  "You think I don't know that?  You 
think I don't deal with them every damn day of 
my lousy life?  I know how to handle creeps, 
probably better than any of you."

I sighed.  "Maybe so but that doesn't mean we have 
to like it or want you to go through it any 
more than you have to."

"I think I have to.  Too many coincidences and 
Carlos will be suspicious.  He is now, but the 
money temporarily blinded him.  But that won't 
last.  He'll start thinking and that's when we'll 
be 
in trouble."

"You said he wasn't a complicated person.  Maybe 
the money was all he needed to convince 
him."

"And you're stellar acting job," she said wryly.  
Then she added, "I said he wasn't complicated, I 
didn't say he was stupid."

I glanced at her and pulled on to the highway.  "I 
realize that."

"Do you?  I wonder.  People tend to confuse lack 
of education with stupidity."

"Is that what people have done to you?" I asked 
softly.

She looked at me briefly and then turned her head 
to the side window, watching the scenery fly 
by and I took the car up to 65 mph.  "Carlos is a 
bastard.  He's not stupid.  Don't make the 
mistake of thinking he's stupid."

"We won't."  I paused.  "Do you care for him, 
Sydney?"

"Who?  Carlos?"

"Yeah," I clarified.

"No!" she said a little too quickly.

"You can tell me if you do, Sydney.  It would make 
a difference."

"How?" she asked, clearly suspicious.

"How harshly we treat him.  If I know you care 
about him, we'll just get him put away and not ... 
make it rougher for him than it has to be."

"It's not that I care about him, really," she said 
cryptically.

"But ..." I trailed.

"Never mind."

"Sydney, you need to be honest with us."

"I don't think I can about this."

"Why?  Do you think I'll think less of you if you 
care about your pimp?  I won't.  I realize he's 
probably put himself in the role of your 
protector.  I imagine he's gotten you out of jams.  
You 
have to feel you owe him for that."

"That's not it."

"Then what?"

"I need to think.  Let it drop for now."

I nodded, not wanting to push her but making a 
mental note to have Scully drill her.  She was 
better at getting these things out of people, 
particularly women.

We arrived at Walter's townhouse and I parked in 
the parking area.  Scully and Walter pulled in 
thirty seconds later and parked beside us.  We got 
out and Scully said, "I've been talking to 
Walter, Mulder.  What about having Sydney stay 
with us?"

"What?" Sydney said, already shaking her head, 
'No.""

"She'd be safer there," Scully replied.

I nodded.  "Let's go inside and discuss this. Not 
out here."

They all agreed silently and we made our way 
inside.  As soon as the door shut behind us, and 
we made our way to the furniture in the living 
room, Sydney spun around to look at us. 

We sat and she stayed standing.  We all eyed her.  
It was obvious she had something to say.  
We didn't have to wait long.

"Look, I've gone along with everything up till 
now."

"Sydney ..." Walter began.

She held up her hand, palm out to stall whatever 
he was going to say.  He pressed his lips 
together, clearly not happy about it.

Scully interrupted, "Let her talk, Walter." 

Sydney's eyes sent a silent thank you to Scully.  
"There's something I've got to tell you."

Her arms were wrapped protectively around her 
torso, and her toe tapped nervously on the 
carpet.  Scully had said she was hiding something 
and I wondered if we were about to find out 
what it was.

We all waited in silence while she cleared her 
throat and gathered her thoughts.  "Carlos has 
done something for me for the past ... three years 
or so," she said finally.

Scully looked at me triumphantly and I scowled at 
me.  I hated it when she got that 'I told you so,' 
look on her face.

"Most girls give up 35 or 40 percent of their 
take."

Walter interrupted, "You said you give him fifty 
percent.  I thought that was high."

She nodded.  "There's a reason for that."

We all waited.  I watched Walter's shoulders hunch 
with tension.  He was expecting the worst.  
All sorts of things went through my mind.

She made a gesture with her hands like she was 
cupping someone's head and Walter and I both 
wore expressions of confusion but I glanced at 
Scully and she had the look of someone that had 
a big light dawning on her.

Walter noticed too.  Sydney's face screwed up and 
silent tears fell slowly down her face.  Scully 
whispered, "Oh my God, Sydney.  You have a child, 
don't you?"

She nodded, looking very fearful and I saw the 
color drain from Walter's face.  His eyes closed 
slowly and he shook his head slightly as if in 
denial.  She nodded in the affirmative and then 
spoke again, her voice strained and breathy, "He's 
five years old.  I've never been able to take 
care of him.  But Carlos' mother does.  I go see 
him whenever I want, but Carlos takes fifteen 
percent of my money and gives it to his mother to 
take care of him. I couldn't work and take care 
of him too."

We were all silent and Scully stepped forward, 
holding out her arms.  Sydney suddenly let loose 
the tight rein she had on her composure.  As soon 
as Scully touched her, she fell into her arms 
and sobbed.  In between sobs, she gasped out, "I'm 
so sorry!  ... I should have told you ... but 
I'm so scared!  I can't leave him!   But I can't 
take him... And if Carlos goes down, ... what ... 
what happens?  I'll understand if you want to call 
it off.  But what, what happens to my baby!??"

Scully held her as she cried.  I touched Walter's 
arm and indicated we should go into the kitchen.  
He took a step towards the women and I shook my 
head and whispered, "Give them a little 
privacy.  Let Scully take this one."

He nodded, not looking happy about it but we 
retreated into the bathroom.  He wiped his hands 
over his face, taking a deep breath and muttered, 
"Shit."

"Yeah, huh?"

He looked at me and said, "I'm an idiot.  I should 
have known."

"Why should you have known?"

"She has very faint stretch marks on her abdomen.  
But they're barely visible.  She must work out 
and her stomach is so flat, I wondered if maybe 
she was heavier at one time.  That can cause 
stretch marks too."

I nodded.  "Reasonable assumption."

He shook his head as thought to negate my 
statement.  "No, I should have asked, but I didn't 
because at the time ... I didn't care," he said 
softly.  His voice was full of self-loathing.

I patted him on the back and said, "Stop beating 
yourself up.  There's a lot you two don't know 
about each other."  I paused.  "How do you feel 
about it?"

"I don't know yet.  But I know this.  I still want 
her.  I still want her here with me."

"A kid changes the whole picture."

"Yeah, it does.  I never really thought about it."

"What?  Having kids?"

"Yeah.  Sharon couldn't have them, so I gave up 
thoughts about it long ago.  I never really made 
it part of my reality."

"And this one comes with five years of history."

He nodded.  "Christ, we'll have to get the kid 
too."

"Let's find out more.  If she still has legal 
custody it shouldn't be a problem."

"You're right."

"But do you want to deal with this, Walter?  You 
need to be sure before we go any further."

"I can't answer that right now."

"Well, don't take too long to think about it.  I 
have a feeling your decision on this determines 
this 
entire relationship.  How badly do you want this?  
Want her?"

He looked at me and took a deep breath.  His voice 
was on the edge of ragged when he said, 
"I've never wanted anything so badly in my entire 
life.  It's so strange, Mulder.  I don't even 
really 
know her, but there's this ... pull.  I can't let 
go.  And it's not just about the sex.  I can have 
good 
sex."

"With my wife?" I asked, a teasing lilt to my 
voice.

He frowned.  "Mulder, please ..."

"Sorry."

"It's all right.  I just can't joke right now, 
especially after what happened.  I still feel 
guilty."

"Don't, it was an accident.  I should have been 
more alert and careful.  I knew she could be hurt 
that way, but I relied too much on her to know her 
limits and that was my responsibility.  She 
didn't seem to think we had to worry about it for 
another three months or so.  I should have done 
more research."
 
He nodded.  "Well, anyway ..."

"Yeah, forget that for now.  She's fine and I'll 
be watching her like a hawk for the rest of her 
pregnancy."

He swallowed again.  "Mulder, what does ..." 

"What?" I asked, wondering at his pause.

"What does it feel like to be in love?"

I raised my eyebrows and chuffed in amusement.  
"Could you be more specific?"

"I don't know, I guess I'm just wondering about 
this thing between me and Sydney."

"Thing?"

"You know what I mean."

"I think I know what you're asking, Walter.  But I 
can't answer that for you.  Are you in love with 
her?  Only you can say.  What does it feel like 
for me?"

He nodded in encouragement.

"I feel like she's a part of me.  When she isn't 
around, I don't feel whole, like there's a part of 
me 
missing.  When we come together it's like we 
become one being, two halves of a whole.  I can 
feel her joy, her love wash over me.  It's an 
incredible feeling.  I've never experienced it 
with 
anyone else.  And I'd had my fair share of wild 
sex before I met Scully."

He grinned.  "I don't doubt it."

I smiled. "But it's not about that, like you said.  
There is a pull; a desire to be with them all the 
time, yet there is a trust.  I don't worry when 
she's away ... well, not in the sense of worrying 
about other men.  I'm totally convinced that she 
loves me, and only me.  The jealousy is gone.  
We are connected and no one can tear that apart."

"It's a truly amazing thing to watch," he said 
softly.

"I think our love grew out of trust and 
friendship.  And if you want a solid relationship, 
I think 
that's what you have to do."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you need to be totally honest with her.  
You need to take the risk and open yourself up.  
Let yourself feel the feelings even if they scare 
the shit out of you.  And you need to spend some 
time getting to know each other.  It takes time.  
Rome wasn't built in a day, you know?"

He nodded.  "I've been open with her.  Well, more 
open than I've ever been in my life.  Even with 
Sharon, there was always a part of me that I held 
back."

"Well, I don't know her that well, but I can say 
this; she doesn't strike me as the type of women 
that scares easily.  If she's been on the streets 
for a few years, I doubt your past will intimidate 
her."

"That's a plus," he said dryly.

I smiled.  "But a kid, that's a whole other ball 
game.  It sounds like she doesn't have him living 
with her either, so it would be an adjustment for 
her too."

"You know, when I heard Scully was pregnant, I 
envied you."

"You did?"

"Yeah, I realized you were going to have your 
family, the one you always wanted.  And it made 
me see what I was missing.  I want someone of my 
own to share my life with."

"Well, then take the plunge.  What's the worst 
that can happen?  It doesn't work out? Oh well, 
you can say you tried.  But you'll never know if 
you don't try."

He was nodding slowly.  "You're right.  I want to 
try.  I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing.  But 
I 
want to try.  I want her, I want a future with her 
and if that means a kid, which is something I 
might have thought about later on anyway, then so 
be it."

"You sure you want her that much?"

"Yeah, that much I'm sure about."

I nodded and looked toward the living room.  
Sydney and Scully were standing in the doorway to 
the kitchen.  Sydney's eyes were moist with unshed 
tears.  Walter looked up when he saw the 
direction of my gaze.  She'd obviously heard us.

She stepped toward him tentatively and he opened 
his arms.  She fell into them and he pulled 
her tight against him.  He whispered, "Let's make 
some plans, Baby.  Let's make some plans."

THE END.