From: Para8Dice@aol.com Date: Sat, 26 Feb 2000 13:15:26 EST Subject: Finally She Speaks Source: direct Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, I'm aware of that. We've all seen this, we've all been here. They're NOT mine. I'm just using them in my own little world of what I would love to see happen. Title: Finally She Speaks Rating: R for language Spoilers: One Breath, Anasazi, Paper Clip, Memento Mori, Redux, Redux II, Emily, The End, Demons, Two Fathers, and One Son. E-mail: Para8Dice@AOL.Com Summary: Dana goes home to find an unexpected visitor there, and has a few words to express to him that she's held inside for years. Comment: This is my first story that isn't about Mulder and Scully romance. So, if you're not a shipper, (What is your problem?) then, go ahead and read this. It has friendship, but not romance. This is a mistake on my part. Author: Paradise Written: 1999 _______________________________________________________ Dana Scully's Apartment 9:32 PM Dana Scully opened the door to her apartment. It was completely black. She dropped her purse on the floor and found the first lamp she could. When she turned on the light, she yelped at the sight of a man. "What the hell are you doing here?" She never thought in her life she'd see him, face to face. He was of course smoking a cigarette. In her own apartment. "Agent Scully, I came to see you." "For what?" "To explain myself." She looked down and smiled. "What's the problem," he asked. "You don't know how long I've wanted this moment. How much I wanted to pull out my gun and shoot the living shit out of you. And I don't even know your name." "Agent Scully-" "Oh don't you dare even speak to me you goddamn son of a bitch! You've done things that I don't even understand, but there is no excuse for them." "I came here in hopes of making you understand the things I've done." "You killed my sister! An innocent woman!" "The bullet was meant for you," he said calmly. "Then why her and not me? You have the power to save people. Why did she have to die? And why didn't you kill me after her?" "Because I like you. That's why I've saved you." "Saved me? You destroyed me." "You're wrong." "You had me abducted for weeks! You stole my memories. I almost died. You didn't save me. If you'd saved me, you wouldn't have inserted that computer chip in my neck and given me cancer!" "The chip kept you alive!" "And God knows what it's doing! I almost died twice of cancer!" "And I saved you both times Agent Scully. Not to mention I'm the reason you returned from your abduction so quickly." "Well thank you so much! What about my life that you've stolen? What about Mulder's life?" "Mulder, I like him too. He just never understood what his life was risking." "And what is that?" "You." "What do you mean?" "Whenever he wasn't cooperating, we've had to use to you to keep him from finding the truth he's been so desperately searching for." "Why me? What truth?" "Because you're the on he cares about most in the world. You're the only one he has left." "So I'm your way of keeping the truth a secret?" "That's why you've never died." "I've been used by you as a game this whole time?" "Not just by me. I have a great deal of power, but so many people are involved in it. You weren't ever in danger of dying. We knew Mulder would save you every time. We knew that if you died, he'd die trying to save you." "What are you involved in?" "If you were to know of the things that I know of, if anyone was to know, they would prepare an invasion." "They?" "The extra terrestrials you don't believe in." "How do you live with yourself? You've hurt everyone." "I've saved everyone!" "How?" "If I hadn't sacrificed the lives I have, everything would've fallen apart. I've been saving the world." "No you haven't. You've been prolonging the world. You use people, as leverage. You use them as pieces of the puzzle you're using to prevent what you think will happen. You're lying to the world." "I've done all I could." "Oh you son of a bitch! What about my daughter? Did you kill her too?" "No, she wasn't my experiment." "Experiment? She wasn't an experiment! She was my daughter! I loved her more than I've ever loved anything or anyone, and you just execute her like she's a lab rat." "She was dying anyway." "She was fine-" "Up until you showed up," he said. "You're saying I'm responsible for my child's death?" "No. Her adoptive parents were responsible." Dana's eyes grew fresh tears. She reached out and grabbed her gun quickly from her jacket and pointed it at him. She walked slowly over towards him, all the emotions finally overflowing. She got close enough to him to grab the cigarette out of his mouth and throw it in the floor, stamping on it. She was breathing hard, from anger, tears, and fear. "You're gonna shut your mouth right now and I'm going to tell you exactly what has been going on that you so thoughtlessly throw over your shoulder." He said nothing, but looked at her with complete respect. He thought about how much she and Mulder were alike in this way. "I worked one year with Mulder and I'm abducted. I'm kidnapped from a person who claims they were abducted! He takes me to a mountain, and then I'm gone. I don't remember ANYTHING! I'm missing for weeks, tests performed on me that I'll never know about." He opened his mouth to speak but she interrupted. "SHUT UP," she hissed. "I almost die, but somehow, I manage to pull through my coma and the trama of what's happened to me. I survive, and then I realize there's something IN my neck! I have it excised, and it's a computer chip, used to catagorize me and process my every thought! "A year or so later, I'm dying of a cancer. I tumor on the wall between my sinus and cerebrum. Not only do I learn that I'm dying, I learn that I can never conceive a child. Once again, I survive, until a few months later, I'm deathly ill again! With my cancer. Mulder comes to me, tells me to reinsert the chip to save my life. So I place an unknown object under my skin in hopes that it will save my life. Does that tell you how desperate I was? "Only a few months later, I discover I have a child. A beautiful little girl I love more than anything. I'm connected to her, then I discover she's mine biologically, but that I never gave birth to her. I ignore the impossibility of it all, and I spend every moment I have with her, trying to save her. "She slips away, as did Melissa. You sent someone to kill me, and killed my sister instead! You deserve to die. You destroy my life, my mother's, my daughter's, and Mulder's. Now you tell me why!" "It was all meant to keep you alive." "All of it? What about taking Samantha and never returning her?" "She's there to survive." "And the rest of us are here to die?" "If the worst happens." "You microcephalic apostate. You think you have all the answers! You think that you are the one who should have the final say. How dare you feel you have any right to control, maintain, and destroy the human race!" "I've told you before, it was the only way we could all survive." "So, killing my sister, an innocent woman who had absolutely nothing to do with whatever the hell you're involved in, who's death neither helped nor harmed your unsavory cause, that was just too damn bad?" She pulled the trigger but purposefully missed, and he jumped a little at the noise, but then continued to sit there. "Doctor Scully, I am truly sorry for the loss of your sister. You're right, she had no purpose for her death, and although you were meant to be in her place, it was never under my orders. I had the man who destroyed your sister killed." "So that's just the way you solve everything isn't it? You don't bother to correct your mistakes, learn from them, explain yourself, you just kill whatever's in your path." "What do you suggest I do?" "FIND ANOTHER WAY! You have no respect for human life. You just elimate people as if they're things. You act as if you have that power. You killed my sister, you stole Mulder's sister, you killed Mulder's father, you killed my daughter, and if you don't tell me why, I'll kill you." She couldn't care less about how he was feeling. She smiled at him with hate. "Don't think I won't do it," she said with anger. "Oh I believe you could shoot me right here. I know you would have no regrets. But what have you got to gain?" "A pat on the back." "You don't really want to shoot me do you?" "No, but I want you to suffer the way I've suffered. The way Mulder's suffered." "I've kept you both alive." "So you could play with us as if we're just pons on a chess set. You never give us a chance. You keep us alive, but never help us." "I let him find the cure for your cancer. I gave it to him. I like you and I let him save you!" "So you just save those you like? Is that how your sick mind works?" "No, but it's how I live." "How you live. How you LIVE? How am I supposed to live?" "Keep searching." "With you to make sure we fail every step of the way?" "You aren't failing. You've discovered so much. Things no one else has." "Tell me what I want to know." "Which part?" Dana Scully was silent for a moment. Then she spoke, softly, deeply, in a low voice full of hate. "My daughter." "Your daughter was a test. A mistake we tried to learn from." "A test," she said calmly. "That's all a life is to you? A TEST?" "Your ova were taken to produce alien human hybrids. To test the ability to conceive a child. A healthy child, which she wasn't." "So you destroyed her." A tear fell from Dana's eye, and she wiped it away. "I should shoot you right here. I should kill you and let it pass me by as you pass the innocent lives you so thoughtlessly destroy. I shoot you you and not have a second thought!" "But you won't," he replied. "Won't I," she said innocently. "You use children as lab rats. You used my daughter, a living, breathing child as an experiment. And what about Gibson Praise?" "What about him?" "Where is he? What have you done to him?" "He's fine." "What have you done to him?" "You'll find out." "Where is he?" "He's safe." "Dammit, why are you doing this? Why? Why Gibson?" "Because he knows things. He's part of the project. He has ways of knowing things that we need to study." "Why do you have to study a little boy?" "Because he has the abilities we've never seen before." Scully was beginning to lose control. Even in the dark, he could see the tears in her eyes. Tears she kept from falling, but were clouding her eyes and her vision. She was shaking. He had no idea what he could do. "Agent Scully, everything I've done, I've done to save the world." "Oh shut up! You killed my sister! You killed her!" "It was an accident Agent Scully. If was a mistake and the person responsible paid for it." "It was *my* loss. She was my sister. You shouldn't have had any right to punish her murderer! You didn't solve anything!" "We learned." "I'm gonna kill you." "No you won't." Scully looked around her, her hands shaking and her eyes full, and grabbed a glass she'd been given years ago. She took it and threw it at him. He dodged it and it broke through her window. The phone rang but she didn't answer it. She moved closer to him. She tilted her head to one side and blinked away her tears. "You tell me right now, why Samantha?" "It was Bill Mulder's choice." "You are such a liar. Mulder's father never would've given up his own daughter!" "You're wrong Agent Scully. I told Mulder the same thing. Bill Mulder wasn't willing to give up one of his children, so we had to do it anyway." "How could you do it? How could you do it in front of Mulder?" "Mulder was a child. I was actually next door with Teena and Bill Mulder. Bill knew, Teena didn't. Teena found out and divorced him immediately." "Teena," she whispered. "You say that as if you know her well." "I'm not here to talk about my relationship with Mulder's mother." "I don't care what you came here for, you're here, I have the gun, and you're going to answer all of my questions. Then I'll kill you." "No you won't." "Don't test me. I've never wanted to kill anyone more than you. There isn't a justifiable reason to kill anyone, except you." He smiled and pulled out another cigarette. That irritated her greatly. She blinked many times hoping to set aside the moisture forming. "What happened between you and Mulder's mother?" "That is personal." "I don't care," she said slowly. He didn't answer. He blew smoke at her. He gave her the look that he wasn't ever going to respond to that question. "All right, why was there a photo of Mulder and Samantha where you supposedly died during my fight through cancer?" "I was close to the family." "Why did the picture have blood all over it. Were you holding it when you were shot?" He just inhaled. "Agent Scully, my intention was to help you understand why the things have happened." "Yeah well you've only made me more confused. You're not helping me at all. You're only answering what you choose to. How does that help me?" "I'm offering all I can. If you'd stayed away from Mulder, none of this would've ever happened. Your mother now has one daughter." "Are you implying that my sister's death was my fault?" "No, I think you've thought that yourself." Scully began to sob. She was shaking and moaning as tears poured out her eyes. She couldn't see his face anymore, so consumed by her own grief. She began shooting, missing him everytime. She collapsed to the floor, sobbing, with her eyes closed. She couldn't see him. Suddenly, she heard someone calling her name. Someone grabbed her shoulders and she fought back with all her might, thinking it was him. She still couldn't see from her tears, but she was fighting. She was waving her hands around and hitting him. Finally, he grabbed her arms. "Scully, Scully, it's me!" "Mulderrrrrrr," she wailed. "Mulder, he's gonna get away." "Let him go Scully." "No, he killed Melissa. He killed Emilyyyyy." He grabbed her and smacked her body against his, hushing her. "Shhh, let it go Scully. It's okay." "No, noooooo, it's never gonna be okay." "Yes it will, let it go." Moments passed and he rocked her, comforting her. Her sobs eventually decreased, not from less pain, but loss of energy. "You almost shot the shit out of me." Scully laughed. He loved to hear her laugh. He pushed her gently off of him and stood up. He never let go of her hands, and once he'd stood up, he pulled her up. She was still weak from crying. "Oh Mulder, he was trying to tell me about Samantha." "What did he say?" "He said that your father refused to give her up, so they had to take her anyway. He said that your mother divorced him because of it." "I knew all that." "I'm sorry I couldn't get more answers for you." He cupped her face and kissed her forehead. "He wouldn't have given you any answers anyway Scully." "Oh but he might've. I'll just never know." "If he had something more to say to you, he'll find a way to tell you. I don't want you worrying. Not tonight, not ever." "Okay," she whispered. Mulder guided her to her bedroom and didn't bother asking her to change, he just tucked her in. She looked up at him and touched his hand. "Mulder." "Yeah?" "Emily was really beautiful wasn't she?" Mulder sighed. "Yeah Scully, just like her Mommy."