04 Apr 1998

KRYCEK'S NIGHT ON THE TOWN
by Johan

OK to archive in MKRA
RATING: NC/17
CLASSIFICATION: Technically Krycek/other, but Mulder looms larger on
Krycek's mind than his love interest du jour.
SPOILERS: The Red and the Black, in a big way.
SUMMARY: Krycek takes a taxi downtown and has a bite to eat. A little sex
and soul-searching follow.

DISCLAIMER: No copyright infringement intended. The characters who have
inspired me are unquestionably the property of others - CC, 1013, Fox - and
I mean them no harm in letting my imagination run rampant. No money is
being made from this.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I am treading on dangerous ground here. I haven't watched
any of the Season Five episodes, but have willingly let myself be spoiled
by the buzz on the list following The Red and the Black. I am resorting to
creating yet another alternative universe here, where The Encounter in the
said episode sets the scene for my story, but where no subsequent
development in the series will have taken place. Bear with me.

This is a companion piece to How to Heal a Broken Heart, which left Mulder
in the midst of a major fuck feast at the mercy of a gigantic sex monster.
I realize we need a resolution to his predicament, and Krycek will need to
pull himself together. Frankly, I haven't a clue how that will happen. But
I promise it will.

Please send any feedback to: kajul@usa.net

--------------------------

KRYCEK'S NIGHT ON THE TOWN
by Johan

His eyelashes kept getting stuck together from a thick of flow of tears he
was unable to stop as he walked out the door. He had to go someplace, get
his head sorted out. This was so bad, this was the end.

He started walking down the street trying to figure out what to do next.
'Take it easy, don't run, don't attract attention,' was all he could think
of, 'take one thing at a time.'

Krycek had learnt to keep his options open, to always have an escape route
mapped out and to play things by the ear. That's how the game was played,
that's how you stayed on top of things. Not so this time. He had come to
Mulder a desperate man, pulled towards him by a gut feeling more than any
clear-cut plan. His options had started closing in on him, and he didn't
trust his instincts the way he used to. And there was hardly anywhere else
he could go.

The man had such a hold on him. He couldn't figure it out and it didn't
make much sense to him. He knew he had done horrible things to hurt Mulder.
In his own way, he was sorry for it. And Mulder had little reason to trust
him. He'd never meant things to turn out quite the way they had, and
afterwards, seeing the effects on Mulder, Krycek had been hit by a weird
feeling he'd somehow betrayed himself.

Tonight he'd wanted to connect. His deal going bad he felt it was the only
thing that really mattered to him. The information he had was scaring the
hell out of him and he needed to share it with Mulder. The one important
thing was to get Mulder on his side. Get him to trust him. Get him back.

They'd fallen straight back into their old routine. Krycek knew he was
hardly making a social call, but he needed Mulder to pay attention to what
he was saying. He'd seen in growing despair things going from bad to worse.
There had been the usual pushing and shoving. Mulder making cruel fun of
him, and he himself unable to come up with the right words to get through.
In the end he'd just had to give up. There was too much shit that had gone
on between them before. No way could they put it all behind them.

He'd watched Mulder closing him out again. Krycek had no breath in him, no
words. In a final, helpless call out to him he had kissed him on the cheek.

Krycek had to get off the street. He managed to hail a taxi and told the
driver to take him downtown. He needed a place to sleep. Hotels were out of
the question. He had only little cash on him and he didn't want to use the
cards he'd picked up along the way. They could've been registered missing
by now and he couldn't afford to leave a trail anyway.

He'd been such a big fool thinking Mulder would let him stay. He was
certain Mulder still wanted him, but it got so damned complicated every
time. Mulder didn't hate him. Every curse, every blow, every goddamn
beating he'd been getting - he'd somehow never believed they'd been
directed at him, at Alex. It was just part of the deal. They were on
opposite sides, they were supposed to act like that.

Only, he'd never been able to strike back the way he was used to when
dealing with trouble. Something always stopped him short. It left him
feeling like a weak sissy, and he didn't like to think about it, it
bothered him so much. But he was beginning to realize that what he'd done
to him in the past had wounded Mulder much deeper than if he had regularly
beaten him to pulp.

He didn't understand the sex either. He used to think they fucked because
it was convenient. They were there, they were hot and needed it. But they'd
always have to go through this strange routine. There was a tension they
had both learned to ignore, but then Mulder would take him by surprise. He
would suddenly let that mocking distance he kept drop and be all over
Krycek like a hungry animal. It would get hot and intense, and an element
of danger, of violence was always a part of it. Mulder liked Krycek to be
rough with him and Krycek obliged. When they couldn't hold out any longer
they'd come like the world would end the next minute and nothing else
mattered. Then it would be over. Mulder would grow uneasy and withdraw. Go
out for a run. Watch TV. Close Krycek out. Mulder was just too weird and
fucked-up. And Krycek couldn't help going back for more.

Krycek got out in a familiar street in North West, looking for a bar where
he knew he'd never failed to pick up company for the night. His mood was
lifting at the idea of a good fuck. 'Alex, the happy whore', he smiled to
himself, 'you just need to get fixed up for tonight. What else is new?'

For a moment he hesitated at the entrance of a singles bar. He scored well
with women, appealed to their mother's instincts, whatever. He could play
with conviction the game men played with women and, to his amazement, women
consented to play along with. Sex was easy, he'd never had any problems
with his performance, but it was what came after that made him cringe. The
little signals, the pleading looks, the wanting to cling on to a man. He
didn't like the idea of men who left their women so needy.

What was it that made sex with men so much easier for him? For Krycek, sex
was just sex. A release of energy and a quick relief. With men often
wilder, less restrained, and no strings attached. A necessary release and a
mutual reassurance: you were wanted, you mattered for a moment. When his
life was in a mess, when he was on the run and didn't know who to trust,
that's what he needed.

With Mulder he'd become aware of another dimension. Men could care about
each other. Men could make you hurt. He didn't want to go there.

Krycek had been heading down the street for some time and he was growing
less certain of his direction. A noisy group emerged from a restaurant just
ahead of him and he suddenly felt a need for a bite to eat. He walked in
and was given a quiet corner table. The decor was understated, the menu
half-Italian, half-Californian fusion and not too expensive to pay in cash
for. 'Good, let's enjoy the good things in life for a change' he thought. A
waiter approached, took Krycek's order, and then flashed a big
come-on-to-me smile at him.

Krycek hadn't expected this. He was attending to one need at a time, and
food was now top on his agenda. The waiter was already making his way
towards another table, but Krycek was quick to take in the shaved head, the
compact build, good legs, and a bouncy movement of the ass stretching the
material of the tan chinos he was wearing. 'Not bad at all', Krycek
thought, 'what's the point in looking further?'

He took his time with the meal, washing the food down with some Californian
white wine, which usually got him in the mood. Lingering on, he ordered a
third double espresso and waited for the other customers to leave. Finally
his waiter turned up to clear the table.

The guy was hot. A natural energy exuded from him, a restless curiosity
which made Krycek instantly draw up a top-ten list of new things to try out
with him, starting right there. An open, friendly expression on his face he
looked like someone who enjoyed life and had no qualms about having a good
time. And was always ready to play.

"Enjoyed the meal", Krycek said, and smiled in a very friendly way, "what's
your name, by the way?"

"It's Matt. I live close by. And my roommate's away for the week."

Condoms and lube had been left lying on the night-stand of the small
one-bedroom apartment. Krycek found himself getting turned on by how
obvious it all looked. 'Roommate's out of the house, it's party time for
little Matt. Well, I'll throw him a party', he thought.

They undressed in a hurry, Krycek still slightly hesitant taking off his
shirt. Matt didn't wince at the sight of the stump. He looked Krycek deep
in the eyes, and slowly ran a finger down the length of it, in a tender
gesture which was almost too much for Krycek.

Matt's cock popped out of his briefs fully erect: a long, thin arrow of
flesh, its rosy tip glistening with pre-cum juices. His body was smooth and
well-defined without the bulk to overshadow the grace of his movements.
They slumped down on the bed, Matt on his belly. Krycek let his hand travel
across the rounded landscape of the tight butt glowing in dark hues of
brown and honey under the trail of his touch. How different he was from
Mulder, and how similar. The smooth, elegant build they both had. He
remembered those rare, relaxed moments when they'd lain in bed next to each
other, exhausted from the hot sex, not yet woken up into the complexities
of their impossible bond.

Krycek realized Matt was staring at him.

"Was the other guy hot?", Matt asked.

"When the lights were right", Krycek winced and pinched Matt's butt.

Matt let out a mock cry of pain, and Krycek was happy to pick it up as his
cue to take on his role of tonight's hot trick.

"Suck me", he ordered.

Matt reacted with enthusiasm, turning over and planting his mouth over
Krycek's cock.

"Go down on it, all the way."

'The guy has experience', Krycek thought, as Matt got down to
deep-throating him like he was one game away from hitting the jackpot at
the casino. Krycek placed his hand on the back of Matt's head and pushed it
down on him until he heard him making gagging noises.

'Keep sucking', he commanded, grabbing hold of Matt's ear for better grip.
Krycek could feel his cock swell as it scraped against the surface of
Matt's palate. He was getting seriously hard now and badly needed to plant
his cock deep into the eager asshole.

He made them turn over sideways and lie behind each other spoon-style. It
was Krycek's favorite position now that his arm didn't get much in the way
anymore. His partner sitting on him riding his cock would have been more
comfortable, but he couldn't stand being pinned down by the weight of
another body. He needed to feel he could get out any moment.

Krycek let Matt roll out a condom over his dark, thick cockhead, watching
an eager smile of expectation glow on his face. Krycek smeared on some lube
and guided his cock towards the opening. Matt pushed up his ass to welcome
him and Krycek guided himself in.

"Whoah, man!", Matt cried out as Krycek plunged in all the way.

He started fucking him to a slow, determined rhythm, grinding his hips
against the bouncy cushion of the butt, enjoying the loud, raspy noises
escaping from Matt's throat at each thrust. He was playing with Matt's
balls, squeezing and pulling them and rubbing them against his own shaft.
Matt kept responding to Krycek's touch, to every sound he made, to each
slight adjustment of position, making sure he was getting as much pleasure
from him as possible. He received everything Krycek offered with a grateful
enthusiasm.

Krycek thought about the hot, humorless fucks with guys he'd picked up in
his old favorite haunt. The men who came there lived for those encounters,
collecting new, hot experiences, which for them formed a trail of a life
lived, as holiday snapshots stuck in an album did for others. Forever
training their bodies, vacuum-pumping their dicks, stretching their balls
with weights - to keep eligible for fresh tricks, struggling to stay the
hottest act around. Each night stepping the fine line of staying cool and
unavailable to the crowd, yet signaling a subtle invitation to their chosen
candidate for the night. There was an emptiness and a desperation in that
game. Krycek knew he could play it like that, had played it like that for a
while.

Matt lay on his back now, in a jack-knife position with his legs bent back
over his shoulders. Krycek was on top, his body weight resting on the back
of Matt's thighs, and his right arm providing him the leverage and control
he needed for the steady pounding he was giving the tight asshole. Matt was
whining softly. Sweatdrops off the tip of Krycek's nose landed on his
flushed face. Matt kept his eyes wide open and fixed on Krycek.

Struggling to raise his head, Matt puckered up his lips searching contact
with Krycek's mouth. Krycek was taken aback, but he was getting very close
now, and allowed Matt's tongue to worm its way inside. The mouth was
hungry, the tongue wanting to go everywhere. Krycek felt a strange warmth
spreading inside him. This was how he'd meant to kiss Mulder.

Matt let go of his mouth. His head dropped back, but he kept his eyes
locked on Krycek. Krycek saw in them an open and trusting look without a
trace of pretense. He felt he himself was performing again: playing the
stud, paying the rent for the night. He found himself unable to tear his
eyes away from Matt's.

Suddenly a painful wave of recognition shot up his spine. Krycek knew what
it was. His most disturbing memories of Mulder were of the strange, unreal
moments when during their love-making that same trusting look had suddenly
flashed across Mulder's eyes. He had seen a question there that scared the
shit out of him.

Krycek's body jerked violently, and he was coming. He closed his eyes
tightly as his balls started pumping out their stinging load.

"You didn't come. Just give me a minute, and I'll take care of it", he
panted, well groomed in the etiquette of one-night stands which he always
stuck to. Call it the call-boy's code of honor.

"You still love him, don't you?", Matt asked quietly.

A cold weight landed on Krycek's chest. His stomach pulled and he burst out
in loud sobs as Matt started gently stroking his head.

To be continued ...