TITLE:      LESSONS LEARNED
AUTHOR:     DONNILEE
E-MAIL:     Donnilee@snet.net
WEBSITE:    http://donnilee.tripod.com
RATING:     EXTREME NC-17
CATEGORY:   MSR - SK/O
KEYWORDS:   SMUT, BDSM
SPOILERS:   Uh, I don't think so.
SUMMARY:    Skinner and Sydney struggle to make a new life for
themselves.  Meanwhile, Mulder and Scully anticipate the birth of
their child. This is the 7th story in the Dark Sex Series which
includes the following:

Happy Birthday, Love; B is for Bondage; C is for Courage; Birthday
Boy; Bound in Matrimony; and Double Whammie.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:  If you didn't read the last one, you may be a little
lost in this one.  What you need to know is that Skinner met Sydney
when he hired her as a prostitute.  He later developed feelings for
her that M/S helped him to realize.  She has left the streets and he
has now brought her and her son to live with him.

DISCLAIMER:    I take no responsibility for what I type when I'm
writing in the "smut fog", as I call it, or when I do happy dances
(generally in the buff or just my underwear) as I finish a story ...
Oh!  You mean the characters?  Nope. Not mine. Used shamelessly and
without a speck of remorse. They belong to Chris Carter, Ten Thirteen,
and Fox Broadcasting.

DEDICATION:    This one is dedicated to Mims, Vel, Carma, Orange Tabby
Cat, BlueIris and KickAssKatie, all of whom requested that I keep
writing on this series.  Also, I'd like to give a nod to the rest of
the Saturday night "chat gang" (including Sdani, Nell, FatCat,
SaraMarsten, CindyET, and Song) that keep me smiling and keep my
verbal machete sharp. And also to Nell who gave a me a good idea for the
birth scene. Love you guys.

THANKS:        To my beta reader, Laura, who has gracefully stepped in
when she was needed, covers my stories in big red XXXXs and gives good
suggestions too!

SPECIAL THANKS:  I need to give a special nod of thanks to a special
friend, Xochiluvr (XL for short!)  Although he's actually quite
tall!), who sent me about a year's worth of plot lines and
possibilities for this series!  That's what I get for asking! Doh!
Thanks for propping me up when my attitude was at an all time low in
my fanfic writing and I had completely lost the heart for this series.
Without your words of encouragement, I honestly don't know if I would
have kept writing on this series. Means more than I can ever say.
Thanks for your honesty, sticking with me, and reading even when it
wasn't your cup of tea. :O) (nudge, wink).

WARNING EARTHLINGS:  In a quest NOT to be accused of not giving fair
warning of "weird stuff" (Laura!  Is that a double negative?) ...
There is one MILD, F/F slash scene. Nothing big, just a little
smooching, only a couple of sentences that sets up a conversation, but
I thought I'd warn you about it so you can skip over that part if it's
not your thaanngg.  There are NO THREESOMES in this fic. Nor will
there be for the remainder of the series, should I decide to continue
it after this story.



PART 1 (PG-13)
WALTER SKINNER'S TOWNHOUSE
ALEXANDRIA, VA
SATURDAY AFTERNOON

If the time spent with Mulder and Scully had been weird, it got even
weirder in the following six months.

Sydney's pimp was taken down, along with other members of his group,
including his bodyguards.  It was a huge sting operation headed by the
D.C. task force.  I was able to keep Sydney out of it, protecting her
under the guise of 'protecting an informant'.  No one ever knew where
I was getting my information.  In fact, I led them to believe my
'informant' was male.

When we went about taking Seth away from Carlos' mother, we had
anticipated trouble.  However, when we went to talk to his mother, we
got a pleasant surprise.  She hated the idea of her boy in jail, but
she actually thanked me for taking him off the streets.  She hated
what he did but was powerless to stop him, and she hoped that maybe he
could find another direction in prison.

She had grown quite fond of Sydney's little boy and had cried, but
agreed to sign over full custody to Sydney and me with a minimum of
fuss. I contacted my lawyer and the papers were drawn up.  Sydney
still
had legal custody but now she and I would both be sharing custody of
the child.  This way if something happened to either one of us, the
kid
would have another guardian.  It was a huge responsibility and it was
like having an insta-family.

My home office was in what would have been the second bedroom.  I
converted it back into a bedroom, and moved my computer table into the
corner of my bedroom.  A free wall in the master bedroom and the back
of the walk-in closet now housed my locked filing cabinets.

I went out and bought a twin bed, a new bureau for Seth's clothes and
a
footlocker for him to keep his toys in.  Seth was a precocious five-
year old, but I could tell that I intimidated him.  It took a while,
but after seeing me with Sydney and talking to him every day, he began
to relax.  He stunned me one day when he was sitting on the living
room floor playing with a GI-Joe doll.  He looked up and said, "I'm
glad we're here, Sir."

I stared at him a moment and asked, "Oh yeah?  How come?"

He shrugged.  "Mommy seems happy.  You treat her awful nice."

I smiled.  "I guess other people didn't?" I asked carefully.

He pursed his lips.  "Carlos was mean to her sometimes.  I tried to
protect her, but ... I couldn't always do it."

I drew in a breath, my heart breaking for this poor kid. I couldn't
imagine what his life had been like up to this point.  "Seth, I want
you to know something."

He met my gaze unflinchingly.  "What's that, Sir?"

"I would never hurt your mom intentionally.  I care about her very
much.  I care about you, too.  I want us to be family, Seth. Do you
think we can do that?"

He was silent for several moments and then nodded.  "I think I'd like
that, Sir." he stated firmly with a curt nod of his head.

I smiled.  "Me too."

Out of the blue he blurted out, "Are you going to marry her?"

I sat stunned, my mouth hanging open.  I didn't know what to say.  I'd
thought about it, but I didn't want to move too fast.  We still had
lots of things to work out before we took that step and I didn't want
to make promises I couldn't keep.  I remembered Mulder telling me that
I should be honest with Sydney at all times.  He was a kid, but I
figured the same applied to him.

It had only been five months, but I knew I was in love with Sydney, as
weird as it all seemed.  I was a little thrown by the whole sequence
of events myself.  "I don't know yet, Seth," I said finally.  "I think
that ... maybe down the road, that will happen.  But I think we have a
lot of adjusting to do first."

"Yeah ..." he breathed out, sounding disappointed.

"Is that something you would like?" I asked, wondering why I was
consulting a five year old.

One corner of his mouth turned up.  "I think mommy would like it."

"You do?  Has she said something to you?"

"No, Sir. But I know she's always wanted to have a family. She's
always wanted me to have a daddy.  She's said that much."

"Do you want to have a daddy?"  I asked, feeling a gigantic lump form
in my throat.

He sighed deeply.  "All my friends at school have one," he said with
perfect child logic.  "All except one.  Ronnie's dad took off last
year.  But his mom found him a new one. He doesn't like him though."

"Oh, so do you think it's always better to have a daddy even if you
don't like him?"

He shook his head.  "No, only if you like him."

I swallowed and asked the hard question.  "Do you like me, Seth?"

A slow grin crept across his face.  He looked down, appearing
embarrassed and spoke to the carpet in a small voice.  "Yeah.  I
didn't at first 'cause I was afraid.  But I do now, Sir."

"I'm glad."

He raised his eyes to mine.  "Anybody who makes mommy happy is good."

I smiled.  "Do I make YOU happy?"

He shrugged again.  "I don't know yet.  I think so," he said with
candor.

I found myself chuckling.  "I'll try as hard as I can, all right?  I
want to make it nice here for you."

"I really like having my own room," he said.  "At Gramma's, I slept on
the couch.

"I'm glad.  Is there anything else you need in there?"

"No, it's more than I had before."

"Well then, is there anything you just plain want?"

He hesitated and then said, "My friend Bobby has new red Converse
treads."

"Treads?" I asked, smiling.

"Sneakers, you know," he clarified.

"And you'd like a pair just like them?"

"They come in green too," he said with a perfectly straight face.

I suppressed the smile that wanted to invade my face.  I didn't want
to laugh.  "Do you like the green better?"

"Yeah."

"How about we go get a pair?"

His head snapped up, his eyes wide.  "You mean it, Sir?" he asked,
clearly suspicious.

I knew buying the kid gifts was not the way to his heart, but I also
knew that he'd been deprived of a lot of normal things most kids had,
and new sneakers were one of them. His wardrobe was pitiful.  I had
planned on slowly buying him new clothes, but hadn't gotten around to
it.  He mostly owned tee shirts and jeans and a few pairs of shorts.
He had one ratty pair of Keds that looked like girl's sneakers.

"Yeah, your Mom won't be home for a while.  Let's go."  I stood up.

"Right now?" he asked, jumping to his feet and wiping his hands on the
seat of his pants.

"Under one condition," I stated firmly.

He went still and looked up at me from underneath his lashes.  He
reminded me so much of Sydney when he did that.  He swallowed harshly.
"What's that, Sir?"

"That you stop calling me, Sir."

"Oh, ... all ... all right," he stuttered.

"Why do you call me, Sir?"

He shrugged, self-conscious now.  "I heard those other people call
you, Sir."

"Mulder and Scully?"

"Yeah."

"Do you know my real name?"

"Mommy calls you, Walter."

"You want to call me Walter, too?"

"O.K."

"You're not in trouble, Seth," I said gently.  "I'm not upset.  I just
figure, hey, if we're going to be a family, then we can't go around
calling each other, Sir, right?"

"I guess not."

"So, you wanna get going?"

"Right now?"

"Right now, buddy."

His smile nearly split his face in two.  "All right!  Then I can show
Mom when we get home.  She'll be really surprised!"

Home.  He called this home and it had a curious effect on me.  I felt
Warmth steal through me.  It was a foreign feeling, but I liked it.
"I'm sure she will.  So where do we go to get these cool sneakers?"

"Ummm, I think Bobby said he got his at the Foot Locker."

"Foot Locker here we come!" I exclaimed with exaggerated enthusiasm.

He laughed and the sound was music to me.  I'd never known the sound
of a child's laughter in my home.  I handed him the windbreaker that
I'd brought him off the coat rack and he stuffed his arms into the
sleeves. I'd purchased it for him a couple of days before.  The kid
hadn't even had a decent coat.

We exited the house and got in the car.  I was still smiling as I
watched him bounce silently in the seat trying to contain his
excitement.  A pair of sneakers; it was such a simple thing.  That was
all it took to make this kid smile.  I bet I'd just made his whole
week.  I was quite sure showing the new sneakers to his friends was
more important than showing his mom, but just the same, I felt a warm
glow inside, knowing I could do something for this kid.

Helping people out, something I'd rarely done in the past, outside a
professional capacity anyway, was a foreign thing to me.  I'd always
been a loner, even when I was married. I was surprised at how much
satisfaction it was bringing me.

Sydney had gone to lunch with Scully and wasn't expected back for
another hour.  If we hurried, we could beat them home.

XXXXXXXXXX
CRONIN'S DINER
WASHINGTON, D.C.

"Oh my God, Dana Scully!  Gracing the capital on a Saturday?"

He was a tall blonde man and smiled widely at me as I sat in the
booth.  His eyes were wide as they went back and forth between Sydney
and me.

"Agent Fischer," I acknowledged, annoyed at being interrupted.

"Sister?" he asked, being his usual nosey self.

"Uh, no," I said, not wanting to volunteer any information. We hadn't
really given much thought in the beginning to what we would say.  She
looked so much like me that if Walter and she started running into
people we both knew, there were bound to be questions.  We'd decided
after a few awkward encounters to introduce Sydney as my cousin.

"Who's this little lady that's just as pretty as you?  Like looking in
a mirror for Christ's sake," he continued.

"This is my cousin, Sydney. She's A.D. Skinner's girlfriend. Sydney,
Agent Cole Fischer," I introduced.

He stuck out his hand and Sydney shook it, still not saying anything.
She was very uncomfortable when she met agents from the Bureau.  I
don't know if it was because she felt inferior and thought they would
find her lacking, or if she just didn't know what to say to them.

"Sydney.  Sydney?" he asked, a bit of surprise in his voice.

"Yes, why?" I asked.

He shook his head in disbelief.  "I heard a rumor that A.D. Skinner
was shacking up with a woman.  We were surprised anyone would have
him, and you're so young and pretty!" he said tactlessly.

Sydney sighed loudly and curled her fingers together in front of her
mouth, leaning her chin on her hands.  She stared at the table.  Agent
Fischer saw her look of disgust and quickly tried to back peddle after
I said, "Real smooth, Cole."

"Oh my God!  I'm sorry.  I didn't mean that the way it sounded."

"Right," I muttered.

"Really! I'm so sorry.  Uh, are you THAT Sydney?"

"Excuse me?" Sydney asked.

"Never mind.  So you date A.D. Skinner, huh?"

I flinched, knowing her definition of a date.  It was the euphemism
hooker's used to approach a john.  'Want a date?'

She sighed again and finally spoke, "I don't date him.  I live with
him."

"Well, I'll be damned, A.D.'s got himself a hottie," he muttered.
"Nice meeting you, Sydney.  Good seeing you Dana.  Uh, sorry to
interrupt your lunch."

I nodded without further comment and he walked up the counter to
retrieve his take out order.  Sydney was staring at the table as
though the fake wood grain were the most fascinating thing she'd ever
seen.

"Sydney, don't worry about him.  He's a complete asshole."

She looked up at me.  Her eyes were moist but they held more anger
than sorrow.  She whispered, "Shacking up."

I smiled sadly.  "Like I said, he's an asshole.  You'd think nobody
ever lived together around here."

She smiled at that finally and said, "Didn't think that was a sin
anymore," she said wryly.  "God, will I ever fit in, Dana?"

"Sure you will.  You'll make friends but it will take time. Besides,
you don't want to be friends with him anyway. He's got a problem with
authority, and hence a problem with Walter.  It may not seem that way,
but he was probably jealous."

"What for?"

I smiled.  "Jealous that his A.D. has a beautiful woman by his side
and he doesn't.  He was probably hoping you were a dog."

She rolled her eyes.  "Thank God I've got you and Mulder to talk to.
I'd go insane."

"You can talk to me anytime.  You know that, but you need to make
other friends too, Sydney."

"Yeah, I know.  Sometimes I think I've forgotten how."  She paused.
"It is eerie when I look at you sometimes."

"Ditto.  You look like me ten years ago, only prettier."

She smiled. "I hope I still look like you ten years from now.  With
the life I was living, I'm sure I wouldn't have. Whores wear out fast.
I might stand a chance now."  She paused.  "Maybe I am some long lost
cousin.  Oh, my hair's really dirty blonde though, not red," she
joked.

We both laughed.  "I think all my relatives are present and accounted
for," I teased back.  "No one ever has to know you're not my cousin
though.  It's easy enough to believe."

"Thank you for that, by the way."

"No problem.  I know this is a big transition for you.  But there's
something I want you to do."

"What's that?"

"Stop referring to yourself as a whore."

"That's what I am, Dana."

"NO!" I said forcefully. "That's what you did.  DID being the
operative word here.  It was never who you were.  And it's not who you
are now.  And you're not doing it anymore anyway, so it's doubly
inaccurate."

She swallowed and her eyes got moist again, but no tears fell.  "Old
habits die hard.  You know?  It's like ... you put yourself down so
that you can stand yourself.  It's hard to explain.  When you are on
the streets, dreaming is dangerous.  It can get you killed.  Thinking
you're someone you're not can also get you killed.  Over the years, if
I faced reality, called a spade a spade, so to speak, it was like ...
I didn't have to expect much of myself.  Does that make sense?  I
could detach, you know?"

"I think I understand.  But Sydney, listen.  You're starting a new
life.  I don't know what you'll end up doing for a living.  I know
this, though. Walter will make sure you never need to go back to the
streets.  He wouldn't tolerate it now anyway."

"It was O.K. then but it wouldn't be O.K. now.  Suddenly, I'm supposed
to be this untouchable angel?"

"That's not what I mean and you know it.  He doesn't hold your past
against you.  He understands and I understand that it's a part of you
and it can't be ignored.  But it can be changed, Sydney.  We all
understand that you were doing what you needed to do to survive.  The
point is that you don't need to do it anymore.  And you were an object
to him before ..."

"A fantasy of you ..." she interrupted.

I pursed my lips and sighed again.  She could be so hard to talk to
sometimes.  She wasn't jealous of me, I knew that. But I think she did
feel that she would play second fiddle, that she would always be a
substitute for me.  I thought she'd gotten past that, but apparently
not.

"Not anymore, Sydney," was all I could think to say.  "He wasn't
emotionally involved before, is what I meant.  Now he is and he's
involved with you, not me."

"I know, I guess maybe I still can't believe he could possibly want me
... just me with all my warts.  I still feel the urge to pretend I'm
someone else sometimes, because I'm sure that one day he'll look at me
and see the real me and he won't like what he sees."

"He's seen the real you and he fell for you anyway."

She smiled.  "Idiot," she said softly.

I smiled now.  Softly, I asked, "How's it going lately?"

She smiled then, a wide smile, almost shy.  "Too good."

"No such thing as too good," I commented.

"I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Like this can't be real."

"It's real.  But something's bothering you, isn't it?"

"Not really," she said and then got quiet, taking another slurp of her
chocolate milk shake through her straw.  I wished I could still
get away with drinking those, I thought inanely.

"You can tell me, Sydney," I said quietly.

She cleared her throat.  "I don't know, I just keep thinking ... he's
with me for the wrong reasons."

"What would those be?"

She looked at me.  "I don't want be a charity case, Dana. And I don't
want him to be with me because I'm some sort of substitute for you,"
she said finally.

Ah, so this was the problem.  "I can't speak for him Sydney.  But I
don't believe either of those things is true.  He helped you because
he could.  It's that simple. And he did it because he cares for you.
If he didn't, why would he have bothered?"

"Intellectually, I know that.  But emotionally ... "

"Go on," I coaxed when she trailed off.

"I'm scared, Dana."

"Why?  I know none of this is easy.  But he seems to get along with
Seth.  In fact, I think he really enjoys him. No matter what he says,
he's crazy about you, Sydney.  I heard him telling Mulder, the more he
gets to know you, the more crazy he is about you."

She chuffed out a breath of surprise.  She nearly whispered, "I'm
falling in love with him, Dana."

I stared at her.  My God, she was terrified.  "And that scares you,
doesn't it?"

She nodded briskly.  Her bottom lip quivered slightly.  "I don't want
to."

"Why not?" I asked.

"Everyone I've ever let myself care for has ... left me. They all do
in the end.  It gets too hard or I'm too much trouble, or Seth ..."

I reached across the table and took her hands in mine.  She sniffled
and looked up at me.  I waited until she met my gaze.  "Listen to me.
You have to stop judging Walter by the criteria you used on the
streets.  He's not THEM, Sydney.  He's tenacious as a bulldog, and
once he latches on to something he wants, he won't let go.  He'll
fight to the death for it.  And Sydney ..." I paused.  "He WANTS YOU."

Her eyes pooled with wetness now.  "What can I offer him? I'm just a
lost tramp, Dana!"

"You're a woman, Sydney, a beautiful, intelligent woman. You can love
him.  That's what he needs the most, Syd.  He needs the love of a
woman.  He's been without that for a long time.  That's all you need
to offer him.  Just be with him.  That's all he wants."

"Company?" she asked, sarcastically.

"You know that's not what I mean.  He wants someone to share his life
with.  And it's not like you were convenient.  He did a lot of work to
make it safe for you to be with him.  He took legal guardianship of
your kid.  That's not the act of a man who's in it for the short
haul."

"I'm being selfish, I know.  I have more than I ever dreamed of
having.  I'm living in a fucking townhouse for Christ's sake, with a
wonderful man, and I have my son with me for the first time in three
years.  I'm not visiting like some stray aunt.  I'm really with my
boy.  And Walter makes me feel safe, like I can let my guard down.
It's like a damn fairy tale."

"So what's the problem?"

"That's just it.  There isn't one really, except ..."

"You want even more and you feel guilty for wanting it," I concluded.
"You think you'll seem ungrateful if you ask for more?"

She stared at me, her face crumpling slightly.  "Won't I?"

"Depends on what you want to ask for."

"What I want ... I can't really ask for.  It will either happen or it
won't.  But if it did, I'd be less scared about ... the way I feel."

"What do you want, Sydney?" I asked softly.  "Reassurances?  A sure
thing?"

She took another sip of her shake and then sighed deeply. Finally she
looked at me again.  I barely heard her she spoke so softly, "I want
him to fall in love with me."

She shook her head as if it were a stupid wish, and rolled her eyes to
the ceiling.  "Sydney, ..."

"No, I know it's stupid.  I just ... I know he cares for me but ...
sometimes that's not enough.  God, I sound like a cheesy romance
novel!"

I smiled gently.  "I think he is in love with you, Sydney."

She swallowed visibly.  "He's never said it."

"Maybe he doesn't want to frighten you.  Maybe he thinks that's not
what you want from him, that it would scare you off if he says it too
soon.  Or maybe ... he's waiting for you to say it first."

"Or maybe he doesn't love me."

Now it was my turn to sigh.  "I don't know what to tell you, Sydney.
But I do know this.  Walter is a good man.  I think you should be
honest with him.  If something doesn't feel right in your
relationship, you have to find a way to tell him or it will come
between you later on."

"What do I say?  Gee, Walt, I sure wish you'd fall head over heels in
love with me.  And by the way, it'd be nice if you told me so?"

I laughed.  "Why don't you just tell him you love him?"

"I'm afraid he won't say it back.  And then what?"

"He won't lie to you, Sydney.  If he's unsure about his feelings,
he'll say so.  But I don't think he is.  Unsure, that is."

XXXXXXXXXX

I watched Dana from the corner of my eye as she navigated the car out
of D.C. and we headed for Alexandria.  It was a beautiful Saturday and
the weather was cool and brisk but nice.  I'd left Walter home alone
with Seth.  He'd insisted he didn't mind.  I still wasn't sure.  Hell,
I was still getting used to being a full time mom.  It had to be a
strain on him.

She was large now, creeping into her ninth month.  I remember feeling
like a beached whale and having the backaches.  I still wasn't clear
on just why these educated, sophisticated FBI agents had taken such an
interest in me.  I wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth.
Dana had been a good friend so far.  I was glad to have a woman I
could talk to.  It was strange how much we looked alike.  We could
easily have passed for sisters.

She told me about her sister being killed and I felt horrible for her.
She said having me around was like having a sister again.  I'd almost
wanted to cry when she said that.  I found I was much more prone to
tears than I used to be a short five months ago, maybe because I'd let
my guard down some.  I just didn't know.

We pulled into the driveway between the two townhouses.  We both
smiled as we emerged from the car.  Walter was dressed in shorts and a
tee shirt and he was playing one on one with Seth.  Seth was squealing
as he dribbled down the court and Walter pretended he was trying to
take the ball away from him and missing.  When they reached the hoop
at the back of the driveway, Walter spun around behind him and lifted
him by the waist.

Seth dunked the ball through the hoop and whooped with his success.
Walter set him down and turned to see us approaching.  I stopped and
swallowed hard, suppressing whatever feeling it was that was rising
inside me seeing Seth laughing and happy, and Walter playing with him.
They looked so comfortable together.  I still couldn't believe it.

Scully stood with her hands on her lower back, stretching herself out
to ease the tension from sitting in the car. Seth ran up to me
shouting, "Mommy!  Check out my new treads!"

I looked at his feet and my mouth formed a big circle as I cried out,
"Oh! My!"  His feet were wrapped in bright green Converse sneakers
with the white emblem on the high top. He turned his feet left and
right, showing them off.

"Aren't they great?" he asked.

"Awesome!" I replied, smiling at Walter.  "Where on earth did you get
those?"

He turned to wave Walter toward us.  "Walter got them for me."

"Did you say thank you?"

"Yup, sure did," he proclaimed.

Walter put his hand on Seth's shoulder and leaned down to kiss me
quickly on the mouth.  "Hi," he whispered.

"Hi.  Guess you two have been busy."

"We made a trip to Foot Locker.  Basketball players must have the
correct footwear," he said in a mock serious tone.

"I see this," I replied, still smiling.  "Are you guys done?"

"Yeah, let's go inside now," Walter said.  "I need a shower.  Little
guy wore me out."

I went to put my arm around his waist and he pulled away from me. "I'm
all sweaty," he said by way of explanation.

"It's all right," I said, smiling up at him, and pulling him into my
body.  My other hand landed on Seth's shoulder and we walked into the
house, Scully trailing after us.

"Brave woman," he muttered, wrinkling his nose.  We all chuckled.

Once inside, he asked, "Have a good lunch?"

"Yes, except we were rudely interrupted by Cole Fischer," Scully
informed him.

"That peacock?  What did he have to say for himself?"

"He made a rude remark about A.D. Skinner 'shacking' up with a woman
and was she the one?"

Walter groaned.  "Asshole," he muttered.

"That's a bad word," Seth admonished him.

I smiled and Walter looked chagrined.  "You're right, Seth. I
apologize.  Sorry about that."

"No problem.  Can I go change my clothes?"

"Sure, sport. Go right ahead."

He ran out of the living room and up the stairs.  "He's glowing,
Walter," I commented.

Walter shrugged.  "We had a good day.  What'd you tell Cole?" he
asked.

Scully answered, "I told him she was my cousin and that he was real
smooth," she said sarcastically.

Walter chuckled.  "I'll get even with him later."

"Don't do that, Walter," I cut in.

"Nothing bad, I'll just put him in his place.  Idiot better hope he
does a real good job for the next few months.  He's under my
supervision.  Not very bright to insult my girlfriend."

"Let it go, Walter.  People are going to talk."  I wasn't used to him
calling me his girlfriend either.

He sighed.  "I know, but I don't have to like it."

"Did steam my panties though, I'll tell you," I replied.

He grinned at me.  "Thanks for that visual, Sydney," he joked.

I blushed despite my best efforts not to.  He would say the strangest
things and turn the most innocuous comments into innuendo sometimes.
It disconcerted me to have someone flirt with me for real, not to be
lewd or nasty.

"Why'd you get him the sneakers?" I asked, changing the subject.

"He was telling me how his friend Bobby had red ones.  I could tell he
was jealous."

"He can't just get everything he wants," I said.

Walter frowned.  "I know that.  But he needed a pair of sneakers
anyway."

"What's wrong with his sneakers?"

"They're girls sneakers for God sakes.  Really, Sydney," he said in
mock disgust.  "Girls," he muttered.

Scully laughed.  "Am I getting a slide show of things to come?" she
asked.

Walter looked at her.  "If you have a boy, Scully, promise me you'll
never buy him white Keds tennis sneakers, O.K.?"

She laughed again, "It's a deal."

We followed him into the kitchen.

I shook my head.  I realized what having a man in his life was going
to mean to Seth.  It wasn't the big things.  He knew I loved him.  It
was these little things that made him feel like a normal kid.  I had
the feeling some serious male bonding had gone on today and I wanted
to hear all about it.

It struck me suddenly how strange it was that I was thinking about
these normal things.  God, living like a normal person was really
weird.  "What's wrong?" Walter asked, as he removed orange juice from
the fridge and drank straight from the container.

"Nothing, and use a glass," I corrected him.

He looked sheepish and turned to fish a glass out of the cupboard.

I glanced at Scully and she was smirking.

I raised my eyebrows at her and she pressed her lips together in
amusement.  "I better get going.  I'll talk to you guys later."

"Hey, thanks for lunch, Dana."

"We'll do it again soon.  I'm tired now though.  I think I'm going
take a nap when I get home," she declared.

I walked her to the door and gave her a quick hug before she left.
That was another thing I was still getting used to, hugging.  I wasn't
used to it, but Mulder, Scully and Walter were all tactile people and
they were free with their hugs.

I needed to learn to change my behavior and not be so stand-offish,
but it was tough sometimes.  It was a reflex defense mechanism.  They
were hard to overcome but I was getting there.

In the bedroom, I was very uninhibited, obviously.  I felt safe there
and confident.  It as something I knew and knew well.   It was taking
on a whole new dimension in regard to how much I enjoyed it.
However, inadequacy was not one of my fears in the bedroom.

In stark contrast was my insecurity about all things normal and the
ability to be a good mother and be a good ... girlfriend.  These
things that most women took for granted baffled me sometimes.  I felt
like I was fumbling in the dark most of the time, playing a game of
hit or miss.

So far, Walter had been the soul of patience.  I was still a little
stunned at how happy he seemed merely to have me there when he came
home at night.




PART 2 (NC-17)
LATER THAT EVENING

We lay naked in bed.  The house was quiet except for the snick of the
clock on the nightstand.

He rolled into me and I felt his warm, naked form curl into my side as
I lay on my back.  He hummed and buried his nose in my hair, his hand
landing on my stomach.  He was nearly purring with contentment.

I smiled at him even though his eyes were closed and placed a peck of
a kiss on his forehead.

"Hmm, Sydney," he murmured.  "I think I made some progress with Seth
today.  He's a great kid."

"Progress?"

"I'm fairly certain he was afraid of me for a while.  He hasn't seemed
that way lately, but he still didn't talk much to me.  Today, we
talked and he seemed to relax once he realized I wanted to be his
friend.  I think he thought I was judging him or something.  It was
weird."

"He hasn't had it easy," I said, automatically defending him.

"I know. It wasn't a criticism.  I was just trying to figure him out,
that's all.  I'm a novice at this parenting stuff."

I huffed.  "Me too."  I deflated, realizing I was getting defensive
for no reason.

He opened his eyes and smiled gently at me.  "We'll learn together.
It will be all right."

When I didn't respond, he asked, "Is something wrong?"

"No."

"Sydney ..." he said, warning tone in his voice, letting me know he
didn't believe me.  He was still constantly trying to coax me to open
up.

Dana had said to be honest but I really didn't know how honest I could
be.  "I guess I just feel weird."

"Weird how?"

"I don't know, displaced or something."

"You don't like it here?" he asked, sounding wounded.

"No, that's not what I mean.  I guess it's just that I had a routine
and then everything was turned upside down and I'm still adjusting.  I
haven't really gotten into a new routine yet.  I feel aimless.  It's
like, I used to wake up and know what I had to do that day or night,
or
whatever."

"And now you don't know what to do with yourself?"

"I guess."

"Time for you to go to work somewhere.  It will give you the routine
and direction you need."

"I think you're right.  I needed this time to adjust, but now I need
to find something to do that's just for me, you know?  I don't like
feeling like a charity case.  I want to pull my weight."

"I haven't pushed you because it's not a money issue with me."

"I know, but I need to do something."

"Just having you here is incredible to me."

"I'm restless."

"And you're afraid," he concluded softly.

I met his gaze.  "How'd you know?"

"It's written all over your face.  You still don't trust that I'm not
going to boot you out of here."

I swallowed harshly, not knowing what to say.  I could tell that my
lack of trust bothered him but I couldn't help it. It was an
instinctual thing.  I hadn't been able to trust anyone but myself in
so long, I didn't know any other way to be.  I was learning, but it
was a slow process.

"I'm not sure what it is, Walter."

"I'm not going to abandon you, Sydney.  I'm not like your ex, and I'm
not like Carlos."

"Yeah, I know," I said, unable to keep the petulance out of my voice.
I was tired of hearing it over and over from him, from Dana and from
Mulder.  He wasn't THEM.  "And you CARE about me, right?"

His face fell.  Without warning he said it.  "Yes, I do care ... very
much.  You say it like it's a bad thing.  I don't JUST care.  I love
you, Sydney, that's not going to change."

I gasped and felt tears sting my eyelids.  I knew my eyes had grown
wide as I turned to stare at him.  He was waiting for me to say
something, but I was stunned mute.   The phrase, 'Ask and ye shall
receive', floated across my mind. Dana and I had just been talking
about this very thing and now he was saying it like I was idiot for
not knowing.

He bit his bottom lip with his teeth and I realized I was still silent
and he was taking it badly.  He sighed as if trying to stop himself
from saying something and then rolled away from me onto his back.  I
heard him mutter, "Damn it!"

I rolled onto my side and up onto my elbow so I could look down at his
face.  My free hand cupped his cheek and forced his eyes to mine.
"God, Walter.  You just surprised me," I whispered.

He blinked rapidly and then licked his lips.  "Why was that a
surprise?" he asked quietly.

"You've never said it," I said dumbly.

His brow creased.  "I haven't?"

"Nope."

The corners of his mouth turned up in a self-deprecating smirk.
"Well, I do ... love you that is," he added.

He met my gaze again, waiting.  I had told Dana I was falling in love
with him.  I'd lied, I wasn't falling.  I fell a long time ago.  I
think I was in love with him before he ever called me back that
fateful night.  I just didn't know it.  I couldn't seem to get my
voice to raise its volume, so I whispered, "Walter. God help me, I
don't know how you could."

His arms came up and wrapped around my back, pulling me on top of him.
He smiled the biggest smile I think I'd ever seen and threw his head
back, barking out a laugh.

"What?" I asked, grinning at him.

"I think ... I just might be ... the luckiest guy in the world."

I smiled.  "Well, that's it then," I joked.  "You've gone completely
around the bend."

He laughed again and pulled me down for a kiss.  His tongue punched at
my teeth and I opened my mouth, allowing him inside.  He kissed me
slowly and deeply, his eyes closed. He murmured against my lips, "You
have to be the only stunningly beautiful, intelligent woman in the
world that has no idea what the hell she looks like."

Two powerful, but unbelievably gentle hands slid down my back and
cupped my ass, one globe in each hand.  He hummed and sucked on my
lower lip.  His big hands nearly covered the cheeks of my ass.  I felt
so small when I was this close to him.  I also felt cherished and
safe.  I gasped as I felt the now familiar tingle between my legs as I
flooded with moisture.

His hands ran down the backs of my thighs and back up to cup my ass
again and squeeze.  I felt him harden against my stomach.  I ground my
hips against his.  He grunted with pleasure and his cock expanded to
its full majesty, thick and pulsing against me like a hot brand.

I raised up onto my hands and his head lifted to take the crinkled
skin of my nipple into his mouth.  He suckled gently, flicking the
bottom with his tongue and I moaned, pushing my breast into his mouth.

He was creating wild impulses in my body.  I sat up, straddling him
and ran my hands over the muscles of his chest, working my way down to
his abdomen.  The muscles clenched in pleasure as my tongue followed
my hands.

He groaned loudly as I took the bulbous end of his enormous cock into
my mouth.  I sucked and swished my tongue over the sensitive ridge on
the bottom side.  "God, Sydney, I love the way you do this."

I smiled as much as my full mouth would allow and began to bob gently,
taking a little more of him into my mouth with every stroke.  I
grasped him with one hand, stroking the portion I couldn't fit into my
mouth.

He reached down and ran his hands up and down my arms.  He began
pumping up so he could feel the roof of my mouth on the sensitive tip
of his penis.  He moaned again, sighing deeply at the end of it and
whispering my name like a chant.  "Ahhh, Sydney, Sydney, oh love,
that's so good. Keep sucking, just like that.  Just like that."

It struck me suddenly that I had never enjoyed doing this before.  I
hadn't minded it, but giving someone else pleasure had never made a
difference in my arousal level. With Walter it was different.  I loved
that I could do this for him.  I loved the sounds he made to tell me
how good it felt.  The more excited he got, the more excited I got.

My nipples jutted out like tight pencil erasers and throbbed in time
with my sucking mouth, as I scraped them against the crisp hair on his
legs.  I realized that he was so beautiful to me. I loved everything
about being with him. I loved to watch his abdominal muscles tense and
clench as he thrust gently into my mouth.  It excited me to see his
eyes clench tightly shut and his head toss on the pillow as he
neared his climax.  I wondered if he knew or realized that just before
he came, he always stuck his tongue between his bottom teeth and his
lower lip, bulging the skin out in an expression of pure ecstasy.

I rolled my eyes upwards to watch his face.  He was panting and
beginning to sweat.  His cock throbbed in my mouth and I could feel
his pulse in the palm of my hand.  I saw the tongue move between his
teeth and lip and he put his hands on my shoulders, stopping me from
bringing him all the way.

I released him slowly with one last, long, hard suck and he groaned.
His rigid member flopped out of my mouth with an audible pop and
slapped against his stomach.

Without warning, he grabbed my arms and rolled me underneath him.  I
was moist and ready and wanted release so badly I was on the verge of
tears from all the emotions of the day.  He growled with impatience
and lifted his hips.  As he found my entrance, he began to impale me
on his rigid shaft.

I was slick but snug around the girth of his cock.  He pumped his huge
equipment gently a few times flowing deeper into my pussy and making
the muscles quiver with joy.  It made my twat feel so tiny and
tight.  He continued to sink deeper with every stroke, setting up a
delicious friction as he worked himself all the way in.

His head lowered to nibble on my stiff tipped breasts and I groaned,
the sound loud in the otherwise silence of the room.  Our gasps and
moans, and the gentle slapping of our sweaty skin were the only sounds
in the still air of the darkened bedroom.

He whispered, "Look at me."

I opened my eyes and stared into the depth of his eyes.  They were
coal
black with desire and my body jerked at the sight of his unhidden
emotions.  He sped up slightly, still stroking smoothly and steadily
as he moaned out, "I love you so much, Sydney.  Don't doubt that,
baby.  I've fallen so in love with you."

Waves of almost unbearable pleasure rocked through my body hearing his
words.  The hair of his legs was creating a delicious tickling
sensation on the inside of my thighs as I raised my legs high,
dragging them up his legs to wrap around his thick waist.  I began to
shake, trembling from the inside out and feeling my whole body
dissolve into tremors as groans wafted from the back of my throat.

"Oohh, Ahhh, Awww, yeah, feels so good.  Love your big hard body,
baby."

I realized I'd never said it back to him when he'd said he loved me.
I could hear Dana in the back of my head saying, 'Tell him.  Just love
him.'

"I LOVE ... you," I croaked as my climax hit.

"OH GOD, BABY!" he cried out in surprise He stroked me through my
climax and kept pumping into me, giving me no rest.  He began
babbling, "Oh yes, oh so good.  I love being with you.  Say it again,
baby."

"I love you!" I cried out.

"Love you too, Syd.  Love your small body, your narrow hips, your tiny
waist, your tight, little pussy.  Love everything about you.  Love
what's in your mind.  Awwww, God, I love being inside you, making love
to you!"

I began slamming my hips up and down to meet his thrusts and I howled,
"Oooowwwww, yes, Walter, ahhhh God!  I'm so close again!"

I stretched down, bending at the waist and grabbed his muscular ass
cheeks in my hands, squeezing and pulling them apart.  He began to
swivel his hips on impact, crushing my clit between our pubic bones.
"Oh God! I'm gonna come again!" I shrieked.

Immediately, I began to break apart for the second time, still in awe
of the passion between us.  My climax set him off.

With a cry of animal lust he growled, "Awww, yeah!  Your little pussy
clamps down on me so hard!  I'm comminngg with you, bbaabbyy!"

I felt his tremendous eruption jet inside me and wash my insides with
warmth.  He kept pumping into me as he released a torrent of cum,
pushing me deeper into my climax and making me shudder in hard,
throbbing waves as he butted into my cervix.  Finally, he slowed and
then just buried himself inside, our combined juices wetting our
thighs and the sheets below us.

He panted heavily and I struggled to catch my breath as I trembled
with tiny aftershocks.  My voice was rough and ragged as I said, "I
can't believe the way you make me feel, Walter."

"Door swings both ways, Sydney."  He nuzzled my neck, and licked my
ear lobe.  I grunted softly and he lifted his head, smiling, his
breathing still coming in short puffs.

XXXXXXXXXX
THE NEXT MORNING
SUNDAY

The next morning, we ate breakfast.  Seth put on his new green
sneakers and headed outside.  His friend Bobby was coming over to play
and he wanted to warm up.  I looked out the window as he tried to
dribble the basketball that was bigger than his head.  I smiled warmly
and poured myself some coffee.  After sitting down, we were silent for
a few moments.

Walter seemed relaxed as he sipped his coffee, reclining his big body
slightly in the kitchen chair.  He smiled at me until I felt
uncomfortable with the silence.  "What are you staring at?"

"A beautiful woman."  I was glad he thought I was beautiful, but
something still bugged me.  I guess I wondered if I would ever be sure
he wasn't seeing Dana Scully when he looked at me.

I didn't know how to broach the subject gracefully but remembered Dana
telling me that I needed to address my concerns with him or they would
come between us later. He'd told me he loved me last night and I'd
admitted the same to him.  In the cold light of the morning, I was now
more scared than ever that I would lose all this.

I took a deep breath and asked, "Do you miss her?"

He scrunched his brow for a moment, not understanding what I was
asking.  I waved at my face and comprehension dawned over his face.
"No," he said firmly.  "I assume you mean sexually."

"Yes, or ... otherwise."

"No," he said again.  "You don't need to worry about that Sydney.
It's you I want.  And I don't confuse the two. She is my friend,
always will be, so I can't tell you that will change, because it
won't.  Both she and Mulder are part of my life.  I value their
friendship.  However, you need to know that you have no reason to be
jealous of her."

"I'm not jealous, exactly.  I guess because of the way we started, I
wonder sometimes ..."

"What I see when I look at you?"

I nodded and stared at my coffee cup, seeing my expression in the
reflection.  I looked pitiful and was slightly disgusted at myself for
this weakness, this gnawing need for reassurance."

"Look at me, Sydney."

I slowly raised my eyes to his.  He was staring at me with his soft,
brown eyes, a tender expression on his face. "When I look at you, I
see a beautiful woman that makes me insane with lust.  I see a woman
that talks and her voice is like music to my ears.  I hear her laugh
and my chest gets tight and I lose my breath and can't believe she's
with me.  But mostly ... I see Sydney; colorful, opinionated, tough,
loving Sydney.  And I want her more than I've ever wanted any woman.
I want to have sex with her, sure."

His mouth quirked up into a smirk, then retreated into a serious
expression again.

I smiled around the lump in my throat, blinking rapidly to control the
show of emotion.  He continued, "But I see a woman I want to spend
lazy Sundays with reading the newspaper and curled up on the couch.  I
see a woman that makes me feel like a man, a protector, and a mate,
and all that those things mean."

He paused again and then said, "I see a woman I want to raise a child
with.  I'll teach him to be independent and street wise, but loving
and
tender tender; just like his mother.

"I love you, Sydney.  I love the way you make me feel about myself.
Does that make sense?  I like who I am when I'm with you.  That makes
me love you even more.  I've never met a woman that made me want to be
a better person for her ... made me want to be the best I can be."

Now I lost control of the tears and gravity took over.  I made no
sound but choked as the tears fell like rain down my cheeks that were
hot with flushed embarrassment.  My eyes were riveted on his face
and I couldn't look away as he leaned out of his chair, cupped my face
and began to lick my tears off my cheeks.  It only made me cry harder.
"I love you, Sydney.  I'm sorry I didn't say it earlier. I've known it
for a while now and believe, me, it's YOU I love, not some version of
Scully or some fantasy.  I see the real you, Sydney and it's all
right.  I love you."

He tugged me off my chair and sat back in his, dragging me into his
lap.  I straddled him, placing my feet on the rungs of his chair and
wrapping my arms around his broad shoulders.  I laid my head in the
crook of his neck.  We sat that way for a long time until I got my
rogue emotions under control.

Silence reigned again but this time it was a comfortable silence.  I
was feeling brave again and asked my next question, feeling that he
was in the mood to answer my questions.  Why did I keep thinking he
was going to be angry with me for expressing these thoughts? Dana was
right.  I needed to stop judging him by my experiences with other men.
It wasn't fair to him.  He was head and shoulders above the others,
literally and figuratively.

Quietly, I asked, "Do you miss the rough stuff?"

He chuffed in my ear.  Just when I thought he wasn't going to answer
he said, "Yes, some.  It's not essential to me, Sydney.  Yes, that
stuff heightens my pleasure but I don't need a steady diet of it.  I
don't even need it at all. It's something I want from time to time but
it's not something I need."

"You know you can do that with me if you want?" I asked.

He nodded and nuzzled my chin till I raised my face.  He kissed me
gently.  "I like being slow and gentle sometimes too, but yes, I know
you would accommodate me if I wanted that."

"I wouldn't just be accommodating you, Walter.  I enjoy it too."

"You do?"

"Sure, I don't want to be harmed, but I never minded anal sex and I
certainly don't mind some bondage.  I don't like anything too severe,
but I enjoy rough sometimes.  I used to love those sessions, Walter.
I looked forward to you taking me over, taking away all the
responsibility for your pleasure.  I loved being ridden so hard.
Oddly, it made me feel so very sexy ... to be wanted so much that you
went wild, even though I knew you were chasing a fantasy and it wasn't
really me you were seeing.  Made me feel cherished, even though you
were pretending I was ... her.

"It'd be even better now cause I know you care about me ... love ME.
You'd be seeing ME, Walter, and that would make it even more exciting.
We're involved now, yes, but that doesn't mean we have to give it all
up and change everything.  There are parts of that old relationship I
wouldn't mind keeping, and I could point out my boundaries.

"Our life together doesn't have to be totally different from what it
was then.  What we are to each other is different, but we can still
work at fulfilling each other's fantasies, can't we?"

He gulped visibly and his breathing quickened slightly.  I knew he was
thinking about it and remembering.  I didn't know if he was thinking
about his sessions with Mulder and Scully or previous encounters with
me.  I shook myself mentally and reminded myself of his declarations
of only minutes before.  Insecurity dies hard.  Moments later he
answered my unasked question.  "Awww, God, I'm getting hard just
remembering being buried in your tiny ass.  It's been so long since we
did that."

I remembered that he'd liked to talk dirty; to give it and get it.  I
hadn't done that in a long time.  "I remember how it felt, Walter,
when you'd split me open with this monster cock of yours."

He groaned loudly and I reached between us to squeeze him through his
pants.   "Why haven't we done it?  Why haven't you fucked my ass since
I came here, baby?"

"Oh God!  I didn't want to remind you of ... before."  He paused.
"And you don't know it but there were plenty of times, near the end,
where I wasn't totally immersed in the fantasy and I knew it was you
taking me in.  I can remember saying that I couldn't wait to be inside
you ... and I meant YOU.  At the time, it scared the shit out of me.
I didn't want to care about you, because I didn't think there was any
future in it."

I realized he had taken pains to protect me from remembering that he
used to pretend I was Scully.  Hearing that he had been unable to
maintain the illusion made me feel better and gave his words of love
more validity.  I knew he felt guilty about the way he had treated me
when he was fulfilling his fantasy.  I didn't hold it against him.
Yes, I wondered sometimes if he still pretended I was Scully, but I'd
never blamed him for it.  I was a hooker and that was my purpose back
then.

I realized it might not change over night.  I didn't resent him for
it.  At the same time, it hurt me and that frightened me.  I didn't
like that someone was capable of hurting me emotionally.  I didn't
like to feel vulnerable.  On the streets, vulnerable could mean your
life.  I had to really try and remember that I could be vulnerable, if
only with Walter and it didn't have to be a bad thing.  I was a
realist.  Now there were emotions involved, strong emotions, and this
would be different.  Then, it had been just about sex, until the very
end.  Now, it was about expressing love and the difference was still
taking me by storm.

Submitting as a hooker and submitting as a lover were two different
things.  When I was a hooker, my mind left the scene and I went
through
the motions.  Walter was the only john I'd ever had where I couldn't
escape inside my mind when we were together.  It used to scare me.  It
was all new to me. I'd never felt this closeness with another human
being and according to Dana, we still had a long way to go.  I
couldn't
even imagine it.

His voice was rough and gravel toned, sending shivers down my spine.
"I want you again.  Jesus, I just made love to you last night and I
want you again."

I shifted my hips, pressing them into his pelvis and felt him harden
against my stomach.  My thin cotton pants were no barrier to the heat
he was throwing off through his sweat pants.  "Good, cause I want to
feel it again, feel you pressing me open.  Oh shit, Walter.  I get so
horny remembering how it felt to have my ass cheeks parted by your big
prick."

I shuddered visibly, my own imagination kicking into high-gear as I
tried to incite his to riot.  I liked rough sex. I always had.  I
enjoyed the slow, lazy love making, too. But I suddenly wanted to be
fucked ... and fucked hard.

He grunted and puffed out, "Oohh," low and deep in his throat.  "You
had to get me thinking about it, didn't you?" he asked, his voice
teasing but serious at the same time.

I was seized with the urge to make him go wild and lose control.  I
knew he wanted it more than he was letting on and it wouldn't take
much to push him over the edge.

"Seth will be out for hours.  He was meeting his friend and then they
were walking to the park to play."  The park was conveniently only two
blocks away.  I wasn't worried as he had said Bobby's mother was going
to accompany him and Bobby on the trek.

He put his hand on the back of my head and pulled me into his face for
a kiss. This one was rough and passionate and I felt my body go soft
in response to his desire.  His free hand slid up my ribcage and
cupped my breast.  They felt heavy and hot now, my nipples threatening
to break through the sheer material of my stretch bra.

I groaned as he tweaked my nipple and then pinched it lightly.  A rush
of hot moisture swelled my nether lips and I ground my hips into him
again, feeling his cock twitch against me.  "I wanna do it again.  Oh
fuck, please let me have your ass again.  I promise to be gentle."

I smirked.  He was still trying to protect me.  "I don't want gentle,
Walt.  I want it rough.  I want you to fuck me."

"Awww, Baby!  God, you're killing me."

I put my lips to his ear.  "I want you fuck my ass hard."

"Sydney?"

"Yeah. That's what I want, baby.  I want you to fuck my ass like you
used to.  Take me over like that again."  I squeezed him through his
sweat pants again.

He shouted, "Oh fuck, Sydney, YES!"

"Upstairs?" I asked, agreeing by asking that one question.

"I don't know if I can make it that far," he muttered.

"Couch," I instructed, briefly amused that I could only utter one word
at a time already.

He stood up and I wrapped my legs around his waist.  He took big
strides as he went into the living room and stopped in front of the
couch.  He let me slide down his body, raking over his now prominent
erection that was bulging the crotch of his sweat pants and straining
against the tied waistband.

We shed our clothes quickly, not bothering with the foreplay of
removing each other's clothes.  This wasn't going to be slow and easy.
This was going to be hard and rough and I felt myself go weak in the
knees as his hand reached down and cupped my now naked juncture,
sliding a fat, middle finger into my slick tunnel.  I gasped at the
sudden intrusion.

He lowered me easily to the couch and said, "I hate to break up the
party, but I need to get some lubricant."

I muttered, "I don't think I need it."

He chuckled, standing up.  "Better to not take chances. It's been a
while since we did this.  Don't go anywhere."

"I won't."

He turned and nearly ran to the bathroom.  I smiled at his haste as I
watched his butt cheeks flex and release.  My God, I thought, his body
is fucking magnificent.  I closed my eyes, remembering the way he used
to take me, hard and fast, but always there was a care and tenderness
underneath.  He'd never hurt me with his desires, even at the height
of his lust and deep into anal penetration, he always prepared me
first and used plenty of lubrication, either my own or KY jelly.

He sped back into the living room, his footsteps heavy on the carpet.
He slowed as he neared me, his oversized cock was hard but hanging
down, the weight it holding it down. I reached out a hand and pumped
him gently, loving the silky smooth texture of his hot skin.  It
seared my palm and he groaned as a drop of precum appeared at his
slit. My thumb spread it around.

He lowered himself to his knees and leaned over me, kissing me hard
and deep, thrusting his tongue to the back of my throat.  "Oh how I
want you, Sydney.  Jesus, how do you do this to me?"

I smiled and pushed on his chest.  He lifted and I flipped over.
"Lube me up."

"Uhhh," he moaned softly as his big hand landed on one cheek.  I
hadn't seen him uncap the tube or do anything and so was surprised
when his other hand came down.  He muttered, "Cold," as a warning.  In
a flash his finger was against my tight anus and massaging it, seeking
entrance.

I moaned as all my nerve endings stood up and did the wave. He
carefully worked his finger inside, pumping gently and then added a
second finger.  His fingers were long and fat and stretched me
deliciously.  I took deep, slow breaths and concentrated on relaxing
everything from the waist down. Soon he had three fingers embedded in
my backside and I moaned again, wanting the real deal.

"Love to hear you moan for me."

"Then do it, fuck my ass.  Now, Walter.  I'm dripping wet for you," I
choked out.

I looked over my shoulder to see his wide, pink tube of a cock sliding
down the crack of my ass cheeks and seeking my rear entrance.  He was
smearing more lubricant on his inflamed shaft with one hand.  The
other was pulling my wetness from between my legs and up to my back
door to provide more lubrication to what was already there.  His
stiff flesh butted against my tender opening and pushed gently.

The lubrication made me slick and my arousal made me curiously relaxed
and tense at the same time.  I felt the skin stretch and widen as he
pressed firmly, giving way to his persistence. The gigantic,
mushroomed head of his cock popped inside and I groaned at the sharp
dart of pain, feeling my muscle close around his shaft holding the
head in.  This was going to be so good.

He began pressing steadily inside.  He was retreating and pressing
forward again, only to sink a little deeper with every push.  I found
myself begging him to fuck me.  He began stroking and his rhythm
increased until he was plowing about three quarters of the entire
length of his huge cock up my ass.  "Oh Sydney! Tell me you want it,
baby!  Tell me you want it all."

I could feel the pressure created by his girth as he lifted my
tailbone slightly with every plunge.  It would then drag over the top
of his rod as he retreated.  The sensation was uncomfortable but
somehow heightened the sensations rather than taking away from them.

He still wasn't moving quickly.  I encouraged him.  "Oh yeah, love
your cock in my ass.  Harder!  Oh fuck, I want it ... I want it all
... and harder!  Fuck me harder!"

He didn't speed up his steady rhythm but he gripped my waist and began
snapping his hips, drilling into me hard and deep.  It felt like the
crease of my ass would split open and split up my back if he forced
anymore of his cock into my tight ass. It stung unmercifully with
every
plunge, making me tingle on the verge of pain and swell with even more
wetness as my pussy clogged with the evidence of my excitement.  I
couldn't remember if I'd ever felt him this hard.  It felt like I was
being fucked with a baseball bat.

His cock was so huge and I never felt it more than when we did this.
Every bulge and vein could be felt as he slid in and out, the lube
greasing his way.  In a ridiculously short time, my whole body began
to quake with the approach  of my orgasm.  "Make me take it all, baby!
Fuck me rough. Force it up my ass!  Feels soooohoooo good!"

I cried out as the first spasm hit, "Aaaawwww, Oh Christ!  I'm coming
... already!"  My ass clenched around his cock.  Spread so wide, there
was little room to contract and I could feel him swell and harden even
further.  He still wasn't all the way in.

"Oh yeah, come on my boner, baby!"

"Fuck me hard, Walt!" I shouted.




PART 3 (NC-17)
WALTER SKINNER'S TOWNHOUSE
ARLINGTON, VA

I couldn't believe how excited I was.  When I told her what we did in
the bedroom didn't matter, I'd meant it.  Now though, as I felt the
head of my cock pressing open her constricting ass muscle, I was
trembling with excitement. I was in ecstasy as endorphins raced
through my body.

I'd be a stone cold liar if I said anal sex didn't bring me a level of
excitement that nothing else could quite match. Anal sex with a tiny
woman was an experience that put me in euphoria every time.

I'd never had anyone as small as Sydney.  She was so tight and I
cringed as I worked my way in, the discomfort making me harder as I
comprehended just how tight she was.  I slid slowly into her tight
back tunnel and listened to the sounds of excitement chortling out of
the back of her throat as I pumped gently.  That excited me even more.

My nut sacks felt huge and swollen, as I pumped gently, feeling them
sway as I worked my prick further and further into her quivering
bowels.  I felt my aching balls slap against the lips of her drenched
pussy as they swung forward. I released a breath I didn't realize I
was holding.

Her sphincter gripped me like a cock ring and I felt her body begin
twitch and shake. I shifted to put her legs together and placed my
calves outside hers, shifting for balance and leverage.  Her anus
clamped down involuntarily as she shifted and pressed her legs
together.  I grunted and the groaned at the sensation.

Her ass cheeks were each a perfect circle of muscle perched on the
back of her hips.  They stuck out like beckoning little beacons.  I
could fit each one neatly into my palms. Since she'd moved in, I
discovered her diminutive measurements; 36, 20, 22.  She was skinny as
a reed and my bulk looked obscene hovering over her.

The fingertips of my big hands could almost touch when I grabbed her
around the waist and squeezed, pressing my hands in.  Her hips were
barely wider than her waistline. Despite her good size breasts, the
rest of her body was very youthful, almost like a girl just entering
womanhood, barely into puberty.  She had the ass of a young teen, and
hips like a young boy.  It turned me on to no end.

I'd accepted my fetish for tiny girl-like women a long time ago.
Sydney was only 26.  However, devoid of make up and slutty clothes she
looked like a girl of 15 or 16.  Just being with her allowed me to
live all my darkest fantasies.  I reveled in feeling like a giant,
dirty old man about to impale a young girl.  I wasn't a pedophile, and
I would never touch a child, but I knew I was maybe only one step
removed.  I loved to fuck roughly and hear the woman cry out in
pleasure that bordered on pain.  I loved making them respond.

It was even more intense with Sydney, because I loved her and because
she was letting me do this willingly.  Trusting me to sate my lust but
not really harm her.  Now I knew what Mulder was talking about when
he'd explained about the responsibility of being a Top.  It wasn't
just about sating your lust.  It was about caring for you partner and
protecting her from harm at the same time.  That level of trust being
given to you was a privilege, not a right, and you should never abuse
it.  I took a deep breath to calm myself, remembering Mulder's
instructions.  'Always keep checking to make sure she's all right.'

Drawing my own shaky breath, I asked, "Are you all right, baby?"

She grunted in response, rocked forward on her hands, and then pushed
herself back onto to me.  Ripples of excitement traveled up my prick
and sent shooting shocks of pleasure up my spine.  I retreated
slightly and pushed back in.

"Oh Yeah!  Fuck my ass, baby." she cried.  "Take me, Walter, just like
you used to!"

Something snapped in my brain and I pulled my hips back, retreating
until the glans of my cock stretched her anus and threatened to pop
out.  Then I grabbed her waist and slammed into her; once, twice,
three times was the charm.

She came, shouting for me to fuck her harder, and her disbelief at
coming so soon.  I still wasn't buried inside her, but I intended to
be balls deep in short order.

I watched her sphincter muscle unroll into a taut, smooth ring as I
retreated.  Pushing into her again, I ground into her, feeling my
balls ache as they slapped against her wetness.  "OH YEAH!" she
shouted.  "Fuck me with all of it. Punch it into me!"

Kneeling there, I noticed that my thighs were half again as wide as
her hips on both sides.  Her entire ass fit into the cradle of my
pelvis, not even wide enough to reach my hip bones on either side.  My
cock pressed her round, upturned ass cheeks to the side with its
width.  I loved the sight of myself disappearing into her, pressing
her open between her narrow, boyish hips.  She was so slender it
looked like I would split her in half.

Hearing her hiss of pleasure and knowing I wasn't hurting her, my head
swam with a bout of dizziness at the emotions and sensations coursing
through my body.  I cried out, "Oh fuck, I missed this!  Oh yeah. Your
little, bitty ass is ALL MINE!"

I relished the almost painful tightness of her ass as I jerked her
hips up from underneath where I palmed her hip bones that stuck out
slightly.  She was so skinny. I loved the slap of her ass cheeks
against my thighs and groin.  No words were spoken as I began
stroking, slow at first and then building up to a rapid pounding in
her dilated asshole.

I knew from past experiences having anal sex with Sydney that we both
preferred the long, deep strokes and I groaned loudly as I felt my
cock throb with every push inside.  She braced her arms against the
arm of the couch and laid her head down on her forearms to absorb the
impact of my thrusts.  I was lost in a sea of sensation.  There was no
up, no down, no sideways.  My universe existed in that area between my
legs where my bone-hard dick was balling itself up her ass to the
hilt.

We grunted, groaned and I felt a fine sheen of sweat break out all
over my body.  I nearly lost it when she begged me to fuck her harder.

My own ass muscles clenched as I snapped my hips and broke into her
ass hard and deep, fucking most of me up into her with every stroke.
I began pulling back until my head popped out of her, leaving her ass
stretched open.  As I glimpsed her pink insides, I would lunge back
inside.  I groaned at the feeling of my cock head cracking her ass
open
as it popped back in past the still resisting muscle that was trying
to close back up; pressing her wide open to accommodate my three-inch
wide rod.  The sight of it made my head spin with lust.

As my cock glided in and out of her, the blood rushed in my head with
a force that made my pulse roar in my ears.  I looked enormous.  My
head swam as her little body accepted most of my length again and
again.  She shrieked and I felt another rush of blood harden me almost
to the point of pain.  I couldn't possibly get any harder than this, I
thought.  "Come on, little one, come on, little girl, come on my cock
again.  Squeeze it for me.  Love your tiny ass.  Oh TAKE IT!  TAKE IT
ALL!"

I slammed into her roughly, forcing the rest of my throbbing prick up
her ass.  We both cried out as I hit home, fully embedded, my balls
stretched tight from pressing against her.

I paused but then pulled all the way out, ramming in again, grinding
her ass into my pubic hairs.  It looked like I must be causing her
pain.  Instead, her body jerked and convulsed as her climax came and
squeezed my aching shaft with exquisite tightness. She cried out,
"Aaaawwww!  Oh Christ!  I'm coommiinngg ... agaaainnn!"

Retreat, lunge in, snap hips. I kept the rhythm as she spasmed around
me.

It was just this side of painful and I howled as a torrent of pussy
juice poured out of her and soaked my balls. "Ssyyddnneeyy!" I
shouted, "Oh yeah, come on my cock, baby! Come for me!"

"Nobody's ever fucked me like you do, Walter!  Oh God, I love the way
you fuck me!"

I felt the rush of my seed coiling in my balls, stiffening me
unbearably.  I gritted my teeth, slowing down to prevent my climax.  I
paused at the end of each retreat, letting her ass begin to close up,
then snapping my hips hard, forcing her muscles to give under the
pressure of my meaty cock head as it slammed through her little bitty
asshole and filled her rectum near to the breaking point.  "Tell me
what you want!  Do you love my thick cock stuffed up your ass?  Huh?
Tell me!"

She screamed and I thought I'd hurt her but her scream made me harden
even further.  I hadn't thought that was possible.  Then she found her
voice and shouted, "YES, WALTER!  GO DEEP!  RIP ME OPEN WITH IT!"

I kept ramming her hard, wondering how I was holding back.  Then I
realized a curious numbness invading the skin of my cock.  I loved it
when that happened from the pressure of her tight sphincter.  I could
fuck forever when my skin went slightly numb.  I could still feel all
the pressure inside and the jolts of pleasure on my sensitive cock
head. But the sensation of my shaft skin dulled just enough to keep me
from coming.

I loved it when she talked dirty, her pretty mouth spewing crude
words.  I wondered how abnormal that was for a second or two.  Her
screams made me stiffen more each time.  I loved that she had the body
of a nubile sixteen year old with barely any hips, and that I loved
our size difference. I was probably a sick puppy, but I only
contemplated it for a second or two when her groans interrupted my
brief reverie.

She began to tremble and groan as her ass spasmed around me as she
came for a third time.  "Ahhh, yes, again!  It feels so good!"

"Oh Jesus, you milk me baby!"  I had missed this ... the roughness,
the dirty talk.  If I was honest, I'd missed it a lot.  She'd never
come like this before.

I leaned down, lifting her towards me with an arm around her waist.
One hand grabbed her heavy globe and squeezed, using it to pull myself
closer and punch deep into her diminutive body.  The other slipped
down to press on her clit.

Then something amazing happened.  Every four or five strokes she would
tremble and groan as another quick orgasm would rip through her,
squeezing her ass on my prick as it swelled and hardened slightly with
every round of spasms, each time thinking that I couldn't get any
harder.  But I did.  Now the stretched skin of my shaft began to sting
with every hardening rush of blood as I retreated.  I would come soon
now.  The dull sensation was leaving my shaft and I was feeling
everything.  I was near to bursting.

Suddenly, she groaned out, "Oh fuck, Walter!  Oh, AGAIN!"

I stroked into her hard, once, twice, three times, reveling in the
feeling of her muscles clamping me brutally as they spasmed on my
rigid member.

"Oh Jesus!  Another one! God, Walter!  I can feel pressure behind my
navel!  Oh fuck, you're so deeepp! That's sooo gooddd!"

I kept stroking into her, pressing her ass cheeks together between my
thighs.  A warbling whimper rose up from her throat, "Huhuhuoooo,
huhuhuooooo, oh fuck!  I'm coming again baby.  Oh yeah, that's the
SPOT!"

Her walls sputtered again and she began to babble.  "You fuck me so
good with that pole.  Oh God, AGAIN!  Ahhh, Ahhh, Ahhh.  Oh God, my
butt feels sore from clenching. Awwwwwwww, noooooo!"

"Oh YES!  Feels so good, baby, huh?"

"Oh Jesus, I just keep coming!  Oh shit, you've never fucked me so
good."

I muttered, "Oh man, you feel so good when you come on me.  It feels
so good."  The backs of my legs began to tingle.  "Can't last much
longer!  Oh yeah, I LOVE BANGING YOUR LITTLE ASS!" I cried out between
pants.

I'd lost count of her quick sputtering orgasms but then her reedy body
went stiff and she began to convulse in long drawn out tremors.  She
was wailing,  "Aaahhh, God! Aaawww, God!  Aaaawwww, Noooooo!  It's not
stopping.  Oh Jesus!  Fuck me with it, Walter."

The next orgasm that rocked her little frame wasn't quick at all and I
leaned into her, moving one hand to the back of the couch and sliding
up her stomach with the other to pinch and roll her pebble hardened
nipple between my thumb and forefinger in a brutal grip.  She
shrieked, a blood curdling sound and I was all done.  I didn't know
what it was about her screams that set me off, but my balls spasmed
hard and my dick stung as my seed boiled up into my shaft.

She wailed, "Aaaawwww, Nnnnooooo Mmmmoooorrrreee! Can't take it
anymmoorree!"

"Yes, you can, baby!  My dick owns your ass.  Oh, you're all mine when
I fuck you like this!  Love watching your tiny ass take all of me!
I'm gonna pump your ass so full."

She came again and suddenly went limp in my arm, passing out, but I
couldn't stop then and I pressed myself home, both arms coming around
her waist and crushing her to me.

I couldn't stop it.

I began firing up her ass, shooting my load into her warm bowels.  I
gripped her narrow hips with bruising force and held myself buried as
deep as possible in her unconscious body, feeling my cock twitch and
fire release after release as I exploded into her depths.  My whole
body spasmed involuntarily and my cock yanked out of her stretched
hole.  My cock still had more to give and I drenched her ass in a
shower of cum with the next ejaculation.  The last one fired right
into her open ass as her muscles wavered and began to close up.

She had come around at some point, moaning and gasping for breath.  I
slid back into her while I was still hard enough, enjoying her
aftershocks fluttering on my sensitive cock skin.  She was trembling
with aftershocks and swaying weakly on all fours.  My hands moved from
her hips to slid around her waist and support her a little. My own
limbs were quivering with the sudden relaxation of the post coital
state.

Her breaths were coming short and harsh, as were mine.  A few minutes
later when I felt I could move, I gently lowered her to the couch
cushion, letting my cock slide slowly out of her back passage.  She
pillowed her own head on her arms and sighed with deep contentment.
"That was unbelievable.  The best yet."

I smiled broadly at her back and leaned down to kiss her lips.  Then I
massaged her butt cheeks gently, helping her to close up.  I spoke
quietly and said, "I'm going to go get a washcloth to clean up."

She nodded.  "K'," was all she said as her eyelids drooped. She looked
so sated and sexy, and I marveled that I was the one to put that look
on her face.  Her eyes closed and a soft smile graced her face.

I stood on shaky legs and went to the bathroom, running a washcloth
under hot water.  I cleaned myself up, re-rinsed and soaped the
washcloth and grabbed a hand towel on the way out.

Her pert, little ass stuck up in the air as I approached and I was
struck by how utterly perfect her ass was.  There was a sizable puddle
of cum in the hollow above her tailbone and I gently cleaned her as
she hummed with contentment in the back of her throat.

When I was done, I rolled her onto her side and picked her up in a
baby carry.  Her eyes popped open at my unexpected move.  "Where are
you taking me, you beast?" she teased.

I grinned.  "To my secret cave," I replied, carrying out the jest.

She smiled and buried her nose in my chest as I took the steps,
careful not to bump her against the wall or the handrail.  I placed
her on the bed and shifted her under the covers.  I crawled in behind
her and spooned up behind her.

She was tired but I felt her stir.  "That was really great, Walter."

"Yeah, it was."

"Even with the lube you were very tight.  Don't ever let me do that
without lubrication, all right?"

"I'm fine."

"Yes, because I used the lube.  Now don't argue."

She grinned.  "O.K."  After a pause she asked, "What would you say if
I said I wanted to see the Mulders' Hide-A-Way?"

I'd told her that was what they called it.  Because it was the scene
of my episodes with Mulder and Scully, I had figured she had no
interest in it, especially in light of her lingering insecurities.
And no matter what she said, I knew she was envious, if not jealous of
Scully.  She'd made it clear from her questions that she worried about
losing my affections to Scully.

Nothing could be further from the truth and I'd told her so.  Those
weren't the kind of feelings I had for Scully. I considered Scully a
true and loyal friend and I respected her.  And yes, I'd felt lust for
her.  I now realized that the big difference between loving Sydney
and lusting after Scully.  Now, both my love and lust were solely
focused on Sydney.  I think the only reason it hadn't been before was
because I hadn't thought it was possible to really be with Sydney.  I
hadn't wanted to fall in love with a hooker.  But it happened and then
the answers came.  I'd had to have her with me and that meant doing
whatever it took to make that O.K. for her.  Taking her pimp down had
only been the first step.

"I could arrange that, I'm sure," I muttered as my mind began to race.

Sydney was a whole package and I wanted that.  Her mind intrigued me,
her past saddened me, but our future was bright, and I was determined
to make it work.  Here it was the middle of a lazy Sunday morning and
I had her in bed already!  Life was almost too good sometimes.

I had the opposite worries.  I knew her life on the street was
virtually the only life she had ever known since being an adult.  I
worried that she would have too hard a time adjusting to being a full
time mom, and remain too insecure to be happy with me in a normal life
as a family.

I worried that when she gained confidence, she would think this was a
mistake and leave me for a younger man.  I tried to shove those
thoughts down, but they surfaced now and again.  If Sydney was going
to want us to play at rough sex and bondage, then I was going to have
to learn how to do it right.

Several conversations with Mulder about the responsibilities of a Top
made me realize how uninformed I was.  I hadn't understood in its
entirety the mindset he spoke of when he and Scully played at their
fetishes.  I now knew that my lack of understanding was because I
hadn't had someone in my life that I loved and for whom I felt
responsible. When you were in love, the activities took on a whole new
dimension. It was no longer a power play, or a crowing of strength and
control and sexual lust in its purest form.

Staging these activities took care and required a lot of trust.
Sydney was sexually free and experienced, obviously.  However, she was
new to having a committed and loving relationship.  It was going to be
a learning experience for both of us.  I'd never shared my dark
fantasies with Sharon.  She would have thought they were sick.  Sex
with Sharon had been hot in the beginning.  But it had always been
pretty pedestrian.  The one time I'd tried to suggest anal sex, she
called it disgusting and perverted and stomped off into the shower as
if the mere words had tainted her.  I never tried to suggest anything
new again.

To be accepted by Sydney was a liberating thing for me.  She knew my
fantasies and my off-center preferences and she embraced them rather
than being repulsed.  I could be totally honest with her about what
turned me on.  I could be ME with Sydney.  That was something I'd
never had before.

Just because Sydney was game for anything, didn't mean anything was
possible.  I would never forgive myself if I hurt her, truly harmed
her in the heat of passion.

I knew Mulder and Scully had very defined roles, pet names that set
them in the play head space and the regular use of 'safe words'.
Knowing these things and practicing them or talking about them and
establishing the ground rules would take some work.  I expected it
would be awkward at times, but it was necessary if we were going to
pursue this.  In addition, having her son here would throw a wrench
into the monkey works.

I was growing quite fond of having Seth around.  I felt good about
being able to protect him and make his life a happier place to be.
Strict rules would have to be established about "when" we did these
things so that Seth wouldn't be exposed at too young an age to things
he certainly wouldn't understand.

Of course, growing up as he had, he probably understood more than any
five year old should.  Be that as it may, it was another element to be
considered.  Mulder and Scully were going to have a baby and those
considerations would soon be there for them as well.

It was high time I humbled myself and sought out the advice and
expertise of two people who had been doing this for much longer than I
had.  If we were going to engage in these activities, I wanted to do
it right.  Although anal sex was a normal part of a healthy sexual
relationship, even in normal intimate relationships, I knew I wanted
to take it further.  Her asking about seeing the Hide-A-Way was an
indication that she was interested in going further as well.  Our
activities to date were the tip of the iceberg.

On the other side, engaging in this type of lifestyle required lots
of trust.  I wasn't sure where Sydney's trust level was with me at the
moment, to be honest.  She trusted me to a point.  I knew though that
there would be lingering insecurities for a long time.  Getting her a
job and some independence from me, while emotionally risky, would be a
good step towards her gaining a new sense of herself as a productive
and useful person.

Playing at bondage games would be a severe test of her trust, even if
we never entered a real D/s relationship.  If I was honest, that was
what I eventually wanted.  But we would have to start slow, and who
knew?  Maybe bondage games would satisfy.  Even as I had the thought,
I knew I would want more.  It was different when I tied her hands when
she was just a prostitute to me and there was only lust and no
emotions involved.  I could only assume the same would be true for
her.  She let men do what they wanted to make money, not because she
liked it or was necessarily willing.

She would have to be willing with me.  I would find out just how much
she trusted me, and just how far she was committed to making this work
between us.  It could make or break us.  It was scary and thrilling at
the same time.  If I was honest with myself, I knew that I could go
forever without it.  I'd gone years without it because I was afraid of
what my wife or partners might think of me.  I also knew that for
years, there was something missing.  I'd never really been happy with
any intimate relationships I'd had because they lacked adventuresome
sex and intimacy.  It was the ultimate form of trust and the ultimate
form of responsibility.

Even without the love I felt for Sydney, being with Mulder and Scully
had fulfilled me, filled a space in me that had been empty for a long
time.  I hadn't even realized how empty I'd felt until after that
first time with Scully. I definitely harbored a need for a type of
intimacy that had never been satisfied.  Being with Scully had shown
me what it could be like.

Doing it while in love ... I couldn't even imagine the fulfillment it
would bring.  I envied Mulder more than ever at that moment.  I was
realizing a lot of things in rapid succession.  Maybe I'd always known
them, somewhere in the back of my head.  But things were coming into
sharp focus.



PART 4 (R )
WALTER'S TOWNHOUSE
ALEXANDRIA, VA

"What are you thinking?" she asked finally after I'd been silent for
long stretch.

"I was thinking that if we want to pursue more ... extreme activities
in the bedroom beyond what we've already done, then we need to learn
more first about doing it safely and responsibly.  I was also thinking
of how it will work with Seth around. We would have a lot of
discussing
to do."

"Are you willing to go there?"

"Are you?"

"Answer my question first," she requested.

"I'm willing.  I want it, Sydney.  I can't lie to you. There's a
fulfillment I find in that type of sex that I just don't find anywhere
else.  I'm also realizing that I have a lot to learn if we are to do
it right.  This type of thing requires a lot of trust and it could
make or break us.  I want to make sure our relationship is secure and
strong enough to survive the learning curve before we dive into it.
Does that make sense?"

"You don't think our relationship is strong?"

"It is on my end.  I've never been more sure of anything in my entire
life."

I could feel her frown, even though I couldn't see her face.  She
leaned back and I scooted back, letting her fall onto her back.  I
left my hand on her stomach and rose up on my elbow to peer down at
her.

"So I'm the weak link?" she asked, hurt creeping into her voice.

"This isn't a contest, Sydney.  And it's not about weak links, or
better or worse attitudes.  This relationship is new to both of us.
I'm sure I want to be with you and make a life with you, that doesn't
mean I know enough about my desires to do them safely.  On your side,
I KNOW you still have reservations about being with me.  I know you
love me, Sydney.  You said you do and I believe you, but that's not
enough.  The trust issue is a big one.  Mulder's told me about it and
he harps on it whenever he speaks about their lifestyle."

She swallowed.  "You're right.  I need to stop being so sensitive."

"You feel the way you feel, Sydney.  And nothing says we can't do this
down the road.  It's not like we have to get into this tomorrow, you
know?"

She smiled softly then.  "Yeah, I just ... want so much to please
you."

"You do please me, Sydney.  And I wouldn't want you to do this simply
to please me.  It has to be something you want as well."

"It is.  Maybe it's the life I've led.  Maybe it's my nature.  I just
don't know.  But there's something that happens to me when you take me
that way.  It's an odd paradox.  I know I'm being used for your
pleasure, but I also feel safer than at any other time."

I felt a lump form in my throat and swallowed hard to try and get rid
of it.  "So you do trust me ... not to harm you?"

"Of course I do or I wouldn't do it, Walter.  I may be afraid of a lot
of things, but you physically harming me isn't one of them.  Oddly
enough, your size doesn't scare me, it makes me feel safe."

I hugged her then and she buried her face in my neck, kissing my skin
lightly in affirmation.  "We need to talk to Mulder and Scully,
together."

"I think we should."  She was silent for a few moments and then said,
"I'm starting to let go of the old life, Walter."

"I know.  Don't force yourself, Sydney.  All in good time. I never
expected everything to be rosy right off."

"I'm a little less scared every day.  And I think working would help.
I'll start applying for a at some of the local restaurants.  I've got
to start somewhere."

"If you need anything, let me know."

"No, except maybe to borrow your car."

"We need to get you a car."  I took a second to wonder at how we'd
shifted from such a serious discussion to such a mundane one.

"I should earn some money first."

"We'll see."

"I'm not comfortable with you buying me anything else, Walter,
especially something as big as a car."

"Mulder was talking about trading in his car for a new one. Maybe I
could buy his off him for a reasonable price."

"The BMW!  What, are you nuts?"

"No, just thinking about it.  If you get a car I don't want it to be
an old clunker that could break down on you at any moment.  I want it
to be a good, safe car."

"I don't need a BMW, Walter."

"I know that, but if that's what's available, maybe that's what you'll
get."

She sighed deeply and, I could tell, decided not to argue; for now.


XXXXXXXXXX
MULDERS' HOUSE
FALLS CHURCH, VA
THE FOLLOWING WEEK
FRIDAY EVENING

Scully was totally unselfconscious as she opened the door to the Hide-
A-Way and motioned me inside.  The guys were upstairs bullshitting and
Scully said she'd give me a tour first before we called the boys down.
Of course, Walter had already seen it.

My eyes nearly bugged out of my head as I stepped inside and stopped
in my tracks.  I let my eyes roam down one wall, moving onto the next.
There was a gigantic bed in the center of the room with a TV stand set
up at the foot of it.  I looked up and saw cameras suspended from the
ceiling at various intervals.

There were bondage tables and horses, love swings, racks, poles and
barrels.  Everywhere I looked there was something new with its own
'area' and all the necessary accessories lined up on a shelf next to
it.  For instance, the bondage table was near a shelf with several
varieties of hand and ankle cuffs, dildos and instruments for teasing,
such as a feather in a jar, and a blindfold.  Every shelf next to
every
'station' held something.  They all held lubes of various kinds,
Astroglide seeming to be the reigning favorite.

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding through pursed lips.
Scully smiled.  "It's taken us a while to get to this point, but we
finally have everything we wanted in here."

"I don't think you could possibly be missing a thing," I commented
wryly.  I'd been in spank dungeons and swing clubs that weren't this
well-equipped.

She chuckled and walked into the room.  "Come on in and look around.
Let me know if you have any questions."

I stepped further into the room and left the door open behind me.  I
walked slowly around the room, peering at each device and quickly
determined how they were used.  I glanced at the bed in the center.
It had to be eight foot square.  "Where did you ever find that?" I
asked.

She smiled.  "We had it made special.  We wanted to have room to move
around in.  We can get pretty mobile sometimes."  She chuckled again,
not a trace of embarrassment showing on her face."

"God, I can't even imagine having a set up like this."

"You don't need one.  We could do it, so we did.  But all you have to
do is decide what type of play you want to engage in and buy a few
starter accessories to get you going.  What interests you the most?"

I swallowed and looked at the table that was fashioned like a cross.
I could easily see how you laid across it and were bound with your
legs spread wide.  My breathing increased as I pictured myself there
with Walter towering over me.  I startled as I heard Scully
speak close to my ear.  I hadn't even seen her move I'd been so lost
in my fantasy.  "Bondage, huh?"

My head jerked to the side to look at her and she smiled. I cleared my
throat and my voice was breathy anyway.  "Yeah ..." I blurted out.

She smiled softly again and said, "Well that's not hard to do.  We
could lend you whatever you want, you know.  You could try some things
out and then you could decide what you want before you spend the money
on things you might not want.

"How much has he ...?"  I stopped, unsure how to ask what I wanted to
ask.

Dana, bless her heart, knew exactly what I was trying to ask and
responded without my having to finish the sentence. "We've used the
bed, and the swing.  That's it."

"That's all?" I asked.

"Yes, we were only together twice, Sydney."

I nodded, feeling suddenly out of place.  My eyes landed on the table
again and found myself talking, like I usually did with Dana, and
later wondering what prompted me to reveal so much to her.

"I want to believe in this as much as he does, but I guess I'm not
there yet."

"You mean the solidity of your relationship?" she asked.

"Yeah.  I mean, he ... he told me he loved me."

She grinned now and teased, "I told you so."

I smirked and said, "I believe him.  I do, but there's still something
inside me holding me back from giving it my all.  Something that says
I still need to be careful.

Dana was silent for a moment and then she said, "You have to trust
him, Sydney."

"I want to," I said quietly.

"That's not good enough.  That's what is missing," she stated firmly.

I met her gaze then and we stood silently looking at one another.
Finally, I said, "How?"

One word, but the question was a big one.  She sighed again.  "I can't
tell you how.  It's a decision you make based on history.  At first,
you need to take a leap of faith."

"What do you suggest?"

"Try, with everything that's in you to trust him until he gives you a
reason not to."

"That's dangerous."

"Yes.  It's always a risk.  But I think the results will be worth it."

"How do you know?" I asked, suddenly tired of feeling so lost and
confused about my emotions.

"Because I know Walter and I know the kind of man he is. And I'm sure
that he won't hurt you.  Now, you need to be sure.  The only cure for
that, I guess, is time and an effort on your part to trust him.  Has
he ever given you a reason not to trust him?"

"No."

"But you're still leery."

"Not in any specific way.  It's visceral, like this vague sense of
foreboding."

"You're reacting reflexively to your past, instead of listening to
what you know."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked.  There was no rancor in my
voice even though the question itself was defensive and snotty.  Why
was I being so defensive? I wondered.

Again, she didn't react to my sarcasm.  "It means that you have life
experiences and none of them prepared you for a loving, trusting
relationship with an equal.  All you know is what you've had in the
past and that's understandable.  You don't need to beat yourself up
over it.  But you do need to look at it and ask yourself if your
reactions are based on history or based on the facts.  You have no
positive experiences to draw on, so you have to learn and build a
positive past."

"Always the facts with you, eh?" I asked, feeling myself relax again.

"Well, yeah.  We may know intellectually that someone is trustworthy
when they've never been anything but trustworthy.  But it's a long
trip from the head to the heart sometimes.  We develop behaviors based
on our experiences.  It's time for you to build a positive past that
you can draw on.  That takes time though.  It doesn't happen
overnight."

I nodded, understanding what she was saying and she was right.  I'd
never really had a healthy relationship.  My relationship with my
parents prior to being kicked out was 'strained' at best.  My
relationship with my ex-boyfriend was needy and sick.  Even the
relationship with my son was not what it should be because of the
hours I'd kept for the last five years walking the streets.  I felt my
eyes watering up and instantly felt Dana's arms around me.

I let the tears come and our arms banded around one another.  Hers
went to my waist and mine curled around under her armpits.  I was
slightly taller by maybe two inches but slimmer, I noticed.  She was
wearing espadrilles with low heels, maybe 2 inches and we were almost
exactly the same height now.  She was tight and compact and muscular.
I was what people called lithe and slender.  I let my head turn
sideways and rest on her shoulder.

The tears came and she rocked me gently.  "Shhh, it will be all right,
Sydney.  I promise you.  He loves you so much. I see it every time he
looks at you," she whispered.

That made me cry harder.  She was the one I'd been jealous of before.
Yes, I now admitted to my jealousy and later my envy, and later just
my trepidation of what she represented ... what I thought Walter
really wanted.  She was an intelligent, strong woman with a brilliant
career and flawless social skills.  She was compassionate and funny. I
didn't think I was any of those things.  I didn't think I was
particularly smart.  I had no career, and I was socially as inept as
you could get.  I could be compassionate sometimes.  I had no idea if
I was funny or not, it having been so long since I'd had anything to
laugh about.

My tears dried up finally but we didn't disengage.  One of her hands
gently rubbed my back now between my shoulder blades and the other
cupped the back of my head, holding it on her shoulder.  Her belly
kept us separated, but my stomach pressed firmly against her swollen
abdomen.

Her head moved slightly as she tipped her cheek against my head and I
felt our hair snag and tangle together slightly. She still didn't
move, apparently leaving it up to me when to stop this.  Her hand
rubbed her circles on my back and I felt a shiver of awareness run
down my spine.  I stiffened but she made no move to let me go.

I relaxed again and opened my eyes, now burning slightly from the
tears and saw that my nose was millimeters from her neck.  My eyes
dropped down to watch her pulse flutter above her collarbone.  The
sight of it had an odd effect on me and I was mesmerized for several
moments.  I breathed out slowly and felt her shiver against me as my
breath caressed her neck.

I felt suspended in time as my hands began to rub gently on her back,
sliding up and down over her gauzy blouse.  She sucked in a breath I
felt my nipples harden where they butted against hers.  Her breasts
were swollen and heavy with her pregnancy.  I could feel the heat of
them through her light blouse and my tiny tank top tee that left my
belly exposed above my faded, nearly white jeans.

Her hand slid down a bit and I felt her hot palm land on my bare skin.
It was my turn to suck in a breath and I whispered, "Oh!"

Our speed didn't increase, but our hands began to become bold,
exploring the planes of each other's bodies.   I lifted my head just
enough to look at her face and our eyes locked, our hands stilling.
Our faces both asked the question, 'What are we doing?'

I shrugged and said, "What are we ...?"

She shrugged and whispered, "Feels good."

"Yeah," breathed out, swallowing heavily and our hands began to
tentatively move again.

I was no stranger to same sex relationships.  Being a hooker, I'd been
invited into a lot of threesomes between husbands and wives or
boyfriends and girlfriends.  A time or two, I'd even been hired by
lesbians.  I didn't really consider myself bisexual, but I guess
everybody was a 'little' bisexual if the circumstances were right.
The body responds to things that feel good and mine was no exception.

XXXXXXXXX

It was a little disturbing to be looking into my own face, or nearly
so.  It was like I was touching myself, but not. I wondered if this
was how I'd looked when I was pregnant with Seth.  Instead of
detracting from her beauty, I thought she looked beautiful.  She was
one of those lucky women that 'glowed' with the her pregnancy, her
complexion peaches and cream.  Her face was only slightly plumper than
before.  Her breasts were wide and lush.

My lips were drawn toward hers and then stopped.  I wondered what the
hell I was doing.  Here I was worrying about Walter being faithful to
me because of this woman and yet I was on the verge of kissing her!

I closed my eyes and she whispered, "I've never kissed another woman."

My eyes popped open and I looked at her.  She seemed as frozen as I
was, our hands having gone still again.  "Do you want to?" I asked.

She hesitated but then nodded.  "Will it mess things up?"

I wasn't sure if she was referring to her and me and our friendship,
or me and Walter and our relationship.  I answered her honestly
whatever the case, "I don't know."

Her mouth opened and closed again and my eyes were drawn to her pouty
lips, rosy pink and glistening wet.  I'll never know why I couldn't
stop myself.  My mind screamed at me to step back, that this was a
place I didn't want to go with Dana.  She was the only friend I had
right now and this was a great way to screw things up.  But my body
had other ideas and instinct took over.  I leaned in and gently took
her lips under mine, dragging my lower lip sideways over hers.

She gasped gently and opened her mouth.  I slowly slid my tongue
inside and circled the cavern of her mouth.  She moaned quietly and I
swallowed the vibration, leaning harder into the kiss, but still
tentative and being gentle.  A fizzle of excitement raced down my
spine and I felt my nipples throb.  "Mmmmm," she hummed in the back of
her throat.

I angled my head for deeper kissing and found myself going to town,
leaning into her face and deepening the kiss.  I French kissed her
deeply, working my jaw open and closed over soft, warm lips.  Her
response increased and I gasped as her tongue tangled with mine and
they danced together.

Just then, lost in the sensation, I heard two collective gasps.  Our
heads jerked apart and I stumbled slightly as I threw myself back away
from Dana.  We both turned to the door to see the guys standing there,
their mouths open, standing very still.  Both chests were rising and
falling in rhythm together.  My mind raced to come up with an
explanation.

"I'm sorry!  It's not what it looked like!  We just ... it just was
spur of the moment ... I don't know what ... it ..."

Walter cleared his throat and said, "It was sexy as hell."

Mulder gazed at Dana and licked his lips.  "Don't stop on our
account."

Dana stared at him and said, "That was the first time I've ever ..."

"It's all right," Mulder responded.

Her eyes widened and she stuttered, "I ... I don't know what to say
now."

Walter was still staring at me with his mouth open in shock.  I hung
my head in defeat, knowing there was nothing I could say that wouldn't
sound stupid.  I hoped that he wouldn't see it as a betrayal.
Thinking it looked sexy or not, he might be upset about me touching
someone else, anyone else, especially Dana.  She'd been the object of
his fantasies for a long time.  Here I was hoping he was separating
the two of us in his mind and now I did this.  Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
He was the best thing that ever happened to me and now I'd probably
blown it.

I just couldn't get this idea out of my head that he was still
deciding which one of us he wanted.  Feeling that way, what had made
me kiss her?  Touch her?  I'd had so little affection and genuine
friendship in my life and here I was on the verge of ruining it all.
Had I wanted to see what Walter had found so attractive?  No, it
wasn't that simple.  That affection and genuine friendship was
probably what made me do it.  I craved it like a drunk craves a drink.
I'd do anything for it.  I had Walter now, but the friendship of
another woman was just as foreign to me as a loving and happy
relationship.

I believed in monogamy, strangely enough.  I didn't condemn those who
chose otherwise, but I'd always hoped for an exclusive relationship
for myself, someone I didn't have to share.  I'd just never practiced
it because of my profession.  I'd never been in a long-term
relationship where I'd had to test my beliefs and see if they held up
under the smudge test of cohabitating.  Well, now I knew. Pat me on
the head, hold me when I cry and I'll be all over you like white on
rice, using the only thing I'd ever been good at to say thank you ...
sex.

I felt a wave of guilt and shame wash over me and clenched my eyelids
shut, feeling a sob escape the back of my throat.  Two large arms were
instantly there, scooping me up as my shoulders sagged and pressing me
to a hard chest. He cooed to me, "Aww, baby, don't cry.  It's all
right."

"I don't ... I shouldn't have ... but I ..."  I realized I wasn't
making any sense and couldn't spit out a whole sentence. Walter's warm
lips feathered kisses over my hair and forehead.

"I love you, Sydney, remember?"

I suddenly cried out, the words ripped from my throat, "I CAN'T LOSE
YOU!  I'M SO SORRY!"

He held me tighter and lifted me up.  My legs went around his waist
and I found my head on his shoulder, my arms around his neck, clinging
like a vine.  From Dana's shoulder to his.  His were certainly broader
and now I was crying again, soaking his shirt.  "Lose me?  What are
you talking about, baby?  You can't lose me."

I hugged him, sucking in harsh breaths, trying to stop crying.  My
head hurt from crying too much.  I was such an emotional basket case
lately.  He carried me over to the bed and turned his back to it and
sat down.  I straddled his lap, my legs on the bed.  I didn't dare
look at Mulder and Scully, hiding my face in his neck.

I felt a small hand on my shoulder and I knew it must be Dana's.  I
couldn't look up and buried my face deeper into Walter's neck.  She
squeezed my shoulder reassuringly and said, "I'm sorry, Sydney.  I
didn't mean to upset you."

I shook my head in denial trying to tell her that it wasn't her fault.
I had initiated it after all.  She squeezed again and then her hand
slipped away.  Moments later I heard the door close behind them as
Mulder and Scully left the room, leaving us some privacy.

I finally lifted my head away and wiped my arm across my eyes.
Walter's thumbs came up to wipe away the last of my tears.  My face
felt swollen and puffy and I looked at him, not knowing what to say.

"Why are you so upset?" he asked quietly.

I barked out a burst of sarcastic laughter.  "Duh," I muttered.

He smiled, ignoring my sarcasm as Scully had.  His hands wove into my
hair at my temples and his big hands cupped my skull.  "I'm not upset,
Sydney."

"Why not?" I asked, realizing that was a dumb question and I should
just accept my good fortune that he wasn't thinking I would take off
sexually the first chance I got alone with someone.

He smiled.  "You weren't down here long enough to have talked about
it.  I figured it was an impulse.  Yes, I was shocked when I stepped
through the door, but it turned me on too."

"It did?"

"Sure. Like looking at twins."

"What is it about two women together that turns men on?" I asked,
genuinely curious.

"Double the pleasure?" he responded.  "What happened, Sydney?"

I laughed then without mirth, shaking my head.  "It was spur of the
moment.  We were talking about you actually and how I'm having a hard
time letting go of all my trust issues.  I got upset and she hugged
me."

"And then?" he asked calmly.  I was still reeling from the fact that
he wasn't upset and waiting for him to suddenly realize that I was a
traitor.  At least that's how I felt right now.  He'd taken me in,
taken me off the streets, brought my kid back into my life, and made
love to me like I was the most cherished thing in his life.  How did I
pay him back?  I smooched Dana Scully as soon as his back was turned.
Jesus!

"I don't know.  She was rubbing my back and it felt good and I felt
better.  Then I looked at her."

"And," he prompted.

"And I was drawn to her.  I have no idea why.  Maybe I wanted to see
what I felt like."  Then I shook my head, wondering where that came
from.

He nodded.  "She looks like you, Sydney, or, you look like her, but
you're not the same woman."

"I know, but ... that's not it, either.  I don't know.  I guess she's
been such a good friend and I'm not used to affection, being held when
I cry."

"I hold you when you cry," he said simply.

"I know you do, Walter.  I just mean I haven't had enough time to get
used to it.  That affection is part of what draws me to you."

"And that drew you to Scully?"

I nodded.  "I think so."

"Maybe you were just curious what it felt like to kiss a woman."

I looked over his shoulder.  "I know what it feels like."

He coughed delicately and his eyes widened a bit. I raised my eyebrows
at him, looking at him again, and watched understanding steal across
his face.  He frowned.  "I forget sometimes ..."

"What I did for a living?"

"I don't forget really, I just don't consider it for a split second."

I breathed deeply in and out.  "I would think it would be all you saw
when you looked at me.  I keep being afraid that ... my past will come
between us someday."

"Never," he said vehemently.

"You don't know that, Walter."

"Yes, I do.  For today, I do.  If it changes I'll let you know.
Otherwise, you can be assured that I don't give a damn where you've
been, Sydney.  I love you and I want you in my life.  I can't
disregard your past entirely."

I snorted.  "Hardly."

"Not for the reasons you think.  It doesn't haunt me or bother me.  I
can't disregard it because it's part of who you ARE.  It's what made
you the woman you are and I'd be a fool to think it didn't matter.
Knowing your past helps me to understand why you react certain ways."

"I guess ..."

"No guessing.  It's true.  Be glad that I know.  Because I understand
where you're coming from, it prevents me from getting angry, too."

"How's that?"

"Because I realize that you are making adjustments, big ones.  I know
it will take time for you to settle in.  You may have subconsciously
been trying to sabotage this relationship."

"Why in the hell would I do that?"

"I said subconsciously.  Hurt me before I hurt you.  Testing me,
maybe?  I don't know.  I don't even know if it matters at this point.
You'll settle in.  Stop being so hard on yourself."

"I think I've settled in, Walter, like a barnacle."

He smiled.  "I like having you as a barnacle," he teased and pulled me
into him, kissing me quickly.  "Seriously, I know this is all new to
you.  We don't change overnight.  I know it will take time for you to
trust me completely.  And that's O.K."

"Is it?  You've been so good to me and I still worry about trusting
you completely.  And here I go, betraying your trust."

"You didn't betray my trust, Sydney.  You had a moment, that's all.
It happens.  A moment of arousal and curiosity.  You acted on it.  So
what?"

"So what?"

"Maybe because it's Scully, it doesn't bother me."

"Meaning?"

"I know her.  I trust her.  I know she wouldn't ever hurt me
intentionally.  And ... she's a woman."

"No competition, huh?"

"I didn't say that, but I know who you are too, Sydney."

"So you're saying if it was Mulder, it would be different."

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because he's a man."

"Sexist," I threw back.

"Absolutely," he said, smiling.  "It's a guy thing, Sydney. Their
women are sacred.  Touch anything of mine, but don't touch my woman,
not without my permission first."

"Permission?"

"How do I explain this?"

"Try, you've got me curious now," I stated.

"It's a gesture of demonstration of respect between men that they
simply don't mess with each other's women."

"You messed with Scully," I pointed out.

"With permission, and after much discussion.  Theirs is an unbreakable
bond.  It could withstand my interference."

"And ours couldn't?"

"I don't think so, not yet, anyway."

"What if he asked?"

Walter scowled and said, "I don't know.  Mulder might be the exception
to the rule."

"Why?  Because he let you be with Scully?"

"That and I trust him, like I trust no other man.  I know he would
never overstep his bounds."

"You wouldn't be jealous?"

"I might be.  I just don't know, Sydney.  It's too soon. I've never
been in that situation, never had the shoe on the other foot.  I don't
know if I could do it, allow it.  Now that you're putting this
possibility in front of me, I'm realizing just how big of a man Mulder
really is."

"I think he's just confident in Scully's love for him.  He knows that
nothing, not even another man could break it."

"I know, but that's rare, Sydney."

"I know.  I've never seen two people closer than they are."

"I agree.  And I envy them.  I've said that, to you and to them.  I
want what they have, but I don't want it with Scully.  I want it with
you, Sydney."

"Are you sure it's not just because you CAN'T have it with Scully."

He smiled at me.  "I'm sure.  I told you it was just physical with
Scully and I meant it.  I'm a man, but I can control my physical
urges, you know?"

"You sure?" I asked, unable to resist the tease in the midst of this
serious conversation.

"I have trouble when you're around for sure, but if I had to, I could,
yes."

"But you don't want to?"

"Never.  I love you, Sydney and I want to show that to you every
chance I get."

"You do.  And not just with sex, Walter.  You show me every day."

"I'll show you right now," he said.  He pushed my hips back, unzipped
his pants and pulled his semi-erect cock from the hole in his boxers.

My eyes went to it immediately and I grasped it, pumping gently and
feeling it harden.  I stood and removed my jeans, leaving everything
else on as he casually stroked himself.

"Should we do this here?" I whispered.

"It's O.K.  They said to take our time."

"I don't think this is what they meant," I replied facetiously, but I
put my knees on the bed and took hold of him again.

One of his hands went to my hip, the other tested my readiness and he
sighed as he broke the bubble of wetness between my lips. He brought
his fingers to his mouth and sucked my taste off his fingers.

I moaned and guided him to me, slowly lowering myself, watching his
huge pole sink until his towering cock was buried and my ass cheeks
rested firmly on his clothed thighs.

He grunted and guided my hips as I slid up and down.  He kissed and
nibbled on my nipples through my shirt and I sped up, riding him for
all I was worth.  I watched him plunge in and out, the sight of my own
crotch exciting me as I saw his pole press my lips open and my
clitoris stand up and beg for attention like a ripe, bursting cherry
between my labia.

He said, "That's it, baby, ride me!  Take what you need!  Go on.  Ride
me hard with your little pussy.  God, you're so sexy."

His thumb came down and pressed my nerve button against his shaft as I
rode him faster and faster.  I cried out, "Ooowww, ahhhh!" as I came
in a flooding torrent.

I heard him grunt and mutter. "Oh yeah, Sydney!" as he released his
Own juices deep inside me.  We leaned into each other, panting as we
came down.  I finally dismounted and wiped myself with some tissues
that were on the headboard.  I  pulled my jeans back on as he tucked
himself in.

He smiled and pulled me down for a soft kiss.  Then he said, "We
should go back up.  They are probably worried about you.  We've been
down her for a while."

"Nice of them to give us the privacy."

"They're nice people."

"I know."  I looked around the room again, amazed at how well it was
set up.

"It's something, isn't it?" he asked, observing me as I looked around.

"Yeah.  She said we could borrow some stuff."

"Do you want to?  I don't want to do this stuff before you're ready,
Sydney."

"I guess this little incident shows how far I have to go in the trust
department, huh?"

"Stop beating yourself up.  But yes, and not that you are
untrustworthy, but trusting me to understand."

I looked at him again, seeing his loving face that was becoming more
precious to me every day.  "You're an incredible man, Walter Skinner,"
I whispered.

"You're an incredible woman, Sydney."

"You're delusional."

He smiled.  "And loving every minute of it!" he exclaimed.

He stood up and let me slide down his body till my feet touched the
floor.  I let go of him and walked over to the shelf on the nearest
wall.  I reached out and then pulled my hand back.  He was behind me
quickly and said, "What is it?  What do you want?"

I took a deep breath and grabbed the black, silk blindfold from the
shelf.  It had an elastic string on it to anchor it on your head and a
slight cutout for your nose.  It was padded and soft.  He leaned over
my shoulder and kissed my cheek.  "Take it, I'm sure they won't mind.
I see another one over there."

He pointed to the other wall, and sure enough.  On a shelf was another
blindfold that looked identical to this one.  I folded it gently and
slid it into my pocket.  He smiled and took my hand, tugging me toward
the door.  We silently made our way upstairs.




PART 5 (NC-17)
MULDERS' HOUSE
FALLS CHURCH, VA

I turned to Scully after they left and we went into the living room to
recline on the couch.  I sat with my back to armrest and she sat
between my legs, leaning back into my chest.  This was one of our
favorite positions, especially since her belly had gotten big.  She
liked to recline on my chest and not lay too flat.

We settled in and I asked, "Think she'll be all right?"

"Yeah, she was just startled at being caught."

"So were you."

"Yeah, I was kind of ..."

"Lost in your own little world?"

"You could say that.  I really don't know what possessed me."

"Curiosity?"

"I guess.  I mean, I was just trying to comfort her but then it became
arousing.  I've never had that happen with another woman."

I nuzzled her hair.  "Is it something you want to try in the future?"

"I don't know, not really.  I just don't know."

"That's fair."

"She kissed ME though, but I ... wanted her to," she confessed.

I nodded my cheek against her hair.  "It was hot to see you two in a
lip lock," I said softly.

I knew she was smiling even though I couldn't see her face. "I'm glad
you're not upset."

"Did you think I would be?"

"I didn't think about it at all one way or the other until you caught
us. But I guess I did.  The only other experience we've had sharing,
you were in on the decision. It was just a kiss, but ... "

"You make it sound like you were sneaking."

"We weren't really.  Not consciously anyway, but it felt ... illicit
and thrilling."

"Hmmm, you're illicit and thrilling," I mumbled as my hands rubbed her
now large tummy.

"God, I hope they make it.  I want that for him.  She's a survivor,
but she still could bolt, Mulder.  I'm not that sure of her.  She
loves him, I'm sure of that.  But it scares the bejesus out of her."

"She hasn't had an easy life, that's for sure."

"No, and she doesn't like owing anyone either.  She's looks like a
waif, but looks are deceiving.  She's one tough cookie."

I rubbed my hands on her belly and moved up to cup her heavy breasts,
squeezing gently as they flowed over the sides of my hands.  The
changes in her body fascinated me.

She hummed in the back of her throat.  "I'm horny now," she muttered.

'She's so easy,' I thought, being grateful for it.  I chuckled
silently and asked, "Want to go in the bedroom?"

"Yeah," she whispered.

She leaned forward and swung her legs over the side of the couch,
standing carefully.  I followed her lead and we made our way to the
bedroom.  I undressed her slowly, kissing my way down her neck and
suckling on her breasts, and later raining kisses on her stomach.

She moaned with delight.  She was big now, heading into her ninth
month and our positions were limited.  I was also very gentle, as the
doctor had instructed.  I laid her back on the bed and then rolled her
onto her side, slipping under the covers behind her.  She leaned
forward, her back almost perpendicular to my chest, exposing her
behind which was still trim and fit despite the weight of her
pregnancy. She seemed to carry it all right in her stomach, not
gaining weight all over like some woman did.  Her face was a little
more rounded as were her arms.  But I liked seeing the flesh on her
bones and it was like learning her body all over again to explore the
changes as the weeks went by.

I reached down and tested her readiness, discovering, as usual, that
she was soaking wet.  I almost took it for granted that she was ready
for me at a moment's notice.  I kissed her neck, sticking my arm up
over her head.  The other one latched onto her nipple, pinching it
firmly as I scooted down and lined myself up with her entrance.

She gasped and then moaned.  "Like flicking a switch," she muttered
and I chuckled.  My cock nudged her wet entrance and she grunted.
"Uuuhhh."

Pushing harder against the straining lips of her pussy I felt her lips
give under the pressure of my invader and engulf the entire head of my
cock in a hot, tight embrace. I was constantly amazed at how snug she
always was.  She did exercises every day to keep her muscles fit and
healthy.  Besides she hoped strong muscles would make her delivery
easier as well.

I slid smoothly into her to the hilt, feeling my nuts press against
her
leg as she bent her top leg at the knee.  "Ooohhhh, Scully.  God,
baby, you always feel so good."

"Make love to me, Mulder.  God, I'm so excited already."

XXXXXXXXXXXX

He pulled back and commenced sliding deeply into my aching loins,
Retreating until just the head of his cock was inside my canal and
pressing back in.  He was always careful to not pump too hard.  We'd
been true and rightly scared by our incident five months ago.  We'd
engaged in a little bondage and teasing since then.  Mostly though,
our nights were now filled with slow and gentle love-making.

We'd been so caught up in exploring the boundaries with our D/s play
that I'd forgotten how pleasurable gentleness could be too. Rough or
gentle, slow or fast, it was always fantastic, simply because it was
Mulder, my love, my protector and the father of my child.

I was more in love with him every day. I was exhausted and exhilarated
as he stroked into me, ramping me up toward my release.  His hand went
from my nipple down between my legs and he brushed his fingertips over
my clitoris.  It happened just that fast and I came, tunnel walls
squeezing his shaft unbelievably hard as they sputtered in climax.

He groaned but kept pumping, not speeding up, just keeping his steady
rhythm and stroking me through my climax.  His mouth came down on the
juncture of my neck and shoulder and he sucked, licking me there.  He
whispered, "Oh Baby, I love you so."

My body started to shudder and I felt a second orgasm come from
nowhere and rip through my body.  I cried out, "Oh God!"

He sped up now, shortening his strokes, but still didn't hit me hard.
I felt him tense and then he barked out, "Aaaahhhh, here it comes."

His shaft pulsed and stiffened inside me.  Then he greased my insides
with his hot jism, spreading warmth through my whole body.  We lay
panting gently, his penis slow to deflate and still resting inside me.

He kissed my neck again and licked the back of my ear.  My shoulders
shrugged in response and I murmured, "Love you, Mulder."

"Love you too.  Sleep now."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX
WALTER'S TOWNHOUSE
ALEXANDRIA, VA
THE NEXT DAY

I went to work the next day and had an awful time concentrating.  All
I could think about was that blindfold sitting at home in my top
dresser drawer.  I couldn't wait to use it.  I wanted to make Sydney
wild for me.  I wanted to tease her for hours until she begged me to
take her.  I felt myself getting a boner just thinking about it and
took some deep breaths and tried to focus on the report in front of
me.

I'd gone out at lunch and bought a feather and a silk scarf and a
piece of velvet.  A plan was forming.  I watched the clock all day and
finally it struck 5:00 PM.  Since Sydney had come to live with me, I
tried not to work late anymore. Sometimes I had to, but I tried to
schedule things so I could get out of there.

Sydney had taken my car today to go job hunting.  I'd bought her a
pale blue business suit and 3 inch high heel pumps and a new blouse.
It was to be her 'interview outfit'.  I hadn't seen it on her yet.
She was picking me up out front.

I stood and pulled my jacket on and pressed the intercom button on my
phone.

[Yes, sir?] Kim's voice floated out of the speaker.

"I'm leaving, Kim.  I'll have my cell phone in case of emergencies, as
usual."

[O.K., Sir.  Have a good night.]

I loosened my tie, felt my pockets, making sure I had my keys and
wallet.  Then I unbuttoned the top three buttons on my dress shirt,
sighing in relief as I felt myself start to relax.  I was finally out
of here.

I walked briskly out of the office and down the hall to the elevator.
I pressed the button and waited.  While I stood there, shifting my
weight from one foot to the other, thinking Sydney had probably
double-
parked, like she had a habit of doing, Agent Clark strode up to me.
"A.D. Skinner?"

"Yes Agent?" I turned to look at him, scowling.  He was Agent
Fischer's partner.  I had yet to speak to Agent Fischer about the
incident in the diner.  The opportunity hadn't presented itself and
frankly, I'd forgotten about it.  I remembered it now though.

"I need to consult with you on the next phase of this case. I need to
discuss which direction to take it in."

"Not tonight, Agent Clark. See Kimberly and set up an appointment for
tomorrow morning."

"It would only take 15 minutes or so if you could stay," he said
hopefully.  They weren't used to me leaving on time around here.  I
used to practically live here, going home only to eat and sleep.

"I'm sorry, Agent Clark.  I can't tonight.  I don't have my car.  My
girlfriend has it and she's waiting for me outside."  At least, I
hoped she was and hadn't forgotten to be here promptly at 5:00 PM like
we'd agreed.

His expression was one of quick amusement but then he smiled.  "Oh!
You have a girlfriend, Sir?" he asked with feigned surprise.

I stared at him, my scowl deepening.  "I'm sure you know that I do,
Agent.  I doubt like hell if your partner could keep his mouth shut
for two minutes," I replied, trying to sound surly and irritated.

He physically took a step back, surprised at my reaction. I was
probably was overdoing it.  I didn't need to be defensive, but I
wanted them to back off.  My private life was none of their business.

"Uh, he may have mentioned it, but I ..."

"You what, Agent?"

He took a deep breath and said quietly, "I didn't believe him.  I
thought he was talking out of his ass."  He paused. "He does that
sometimes."

I didn't know whether to believe him or not.  The elevator chimed and
the door opened.   "Yes, I have a girlfriend, which is nobody's
business but mine, Agent, unless I choose to share it with you," I
growled.  "I'll see you in the morning."

He looked chagrined but nodded his agreement and turned on his heel as
I stepped into the elevator and stared at him as the door closed
between us.  I took a deep breath and pressed the button for the
lobby.  I probably shouldn't have been so ugly with him.  He was a
good kid, even for a rookie.  He tried hard.  It was his asshole
partner I had a problem with.  I shouldn't hold it against him.  The
fact that the kid thought his partner talked out of his ass sometimes
and recognized it was a point in the kid's favor.

The elevator dropped and the doors opened.  I needed to get this in
hand.  I needed to have a prepared response to inquiries about my
relationship.  I was right.  It was nobody's business but mine, but I
wasn't stupid enough to think people wouldn't speculate.  Let them
speculate. However, I was very protective of Sydney's reputation.

I didn't want her past getting out, not because I was ashamed or it
bothered me.  I really wasn't sure how badly it would affect my job at
the Bureau.  She was no longer in the profession and I couldn't be
fired for it.  However, the loss of respect would have some
repercussions for sure.  I was willing to take that hit if it came to
that, but I knew what it would do to her.  She was trying hard to
adjust to this new life and that would be a serious setback for her.
God, I would have loved to wrap her in cotton wool and protect her
from all the assholes in the world, but I knew that wasn't possible.

All my whirling thoughts vanished as I scuffled down the front steps
of the Hoover Building.  I had no idea where the car was but I saw her
instantly.  She was standing at the bottom of the steps off to the
side.

She was wearing the blue suit with the fitted jacket and the skirt,
white stockings and the blue leather pumps.  She put her hand on her
hip and struck a pose, smiling widely at me and I felt a grin break
out across my face.

She looked fabulous.  Her hair was fluffed up and curling around her
face in soft waves.  Her blue eyes stood out in stark relief under
light blue eye shadow that brought out their color.  Her lips were
painted with pink lip-gloss.

I stopped about 10 steps up, holding the railing that ran down the
center of the steps.  I stared at her, grinning widely as I took in
the sight of her.  She almost looked like a different woman.  She
looked sophisticated and beautiful.  I saw the twinkle in her eyes
though, her self-deprecating nature that was finding humor in this
transformation and I knew it was my Sydney without a doubt.

Just as I was about to move forward, I caught a glimpse of Agent
Mulder out of the corner of my eye.  I turned to greet him and he
nodded at me.  "Hey, I'm meeting Scully at the Georgetown Cafe for
dinner.  Want to join us?"

"Let me ask Sydney," I replied.

He looked down the steps toward where I indicated her position with a
wave of my hand and he whistled low in his throat.  "My God, she looks
great."

I knew he meant it sincerely and I smiled.  "She does, doesn't she?"

"Yeah, and now she's wondering what the hell we're talking about," he
whispered.

I chuckled and looked at her again to see her brow burrowed.  For some
reason, she didn't want to come up the steps.  Maybe the Hoover
Building intimidated her.  I called out, "Come here, Syd!"

I waved her up and she tentatively mounted the stairs.  Her expression
had changed.  Mulder noticed too and I asked as she got close enough
to hear me.  "What's wrong, Sydney?"

Mulder spoke under his breath.  "Agent Fischer, two o'clock."

I whipped my head around to see him standing at the top of the stairs
watching us.  Scully must have told him the story about the diner
because when he started down the steps toward us, Mulder said softly,
"I'll run interference.  Get out of here."

I scooped up Sydney's hand and said, "Come on, let's go. Where's the
car?"

"Down the block," she said softly.

"It's all right, Sydney, just ignore him.  I haven't gotten a chance
to deal with him yet, but I will."

She nodded and we started down the steps together.  I squeezed her
hand with reassurance.  "Slow down," she said and I realized I was
nearly dragging her down the steps.

I stopped and turned to face her.  "I'm sorry, I just don't want you
to have to deal with that jerk."

She gave me a strange look and said, "Are you sure it's not because
you don't want to be seen with me here."

I furrowed my brow and said, "What?!  Where did you get that idea?"

She shrugged, frowning.  "You've never asked me to come here to get
you before."

"You've never had my car while I was at work before," I stated simply.

She just looked at me, not quite believing.  We were standing on the
wide concrete plaza at the foot of the stairs.  I glanced up to see
Mulder talking to Agent Fischer.  Then I saw him put a hand on his
biceps to refrain him from coming toward us.  What was with this
asshole? Another man appeared next to them and it wasn't Fischer's
partner.  I didn't recognize him.

I turned back to see that Sydney was watching too and she had
blanched.  "Oh shit," she whispered.

I tugged her hand and her attention back to me.  "Sydney?"

"Let's get out of here, NOW!" she said.

She spun on her heel and made to leave but I held her back with the
grip on her hand.  "What's wrong?"

"Can we just go, please?"

"Not yet.  I want to prove to you that I'm not ashamed to be seen with
you here," I said sincerely.

She tugged at my hand again.  "I believe you, can we just go?!"

"No," I said softly.  "Not until I do this," I added.  With that, I
slid my free arm around her waist and tugged her gently up against me.
I dropped her hand and cupped the side of her neck.

"Walter, let's just ..."

She didn't get to finish her sentence because I covered her mouth with
mine.  I wasn't forceful.  I kissed her gently but lingered.  I backed
away enough to see her face.  She swallowed heavily.  "Now tell me
what's wrong," I whispered, my lips still brushing hers.

Her eyes grew moist and her lip quivered.  "That guy up there with
Mulder and Fischer?"

"Yeah?  I don't recognize him."

"I do."

"Who is he?"

"Jimmy."

"Who's Jimmy?"  She looked away from me out toward the street and it
occurred to me that it might be one of her old clients.  That would
certainly give her reason to be upset and want to flee.  She wasn't
answering and I said, "Is he an old ... client, Syd?" I asked
carefully.

She shook her head.  "No, that's Jimmy Cole."

"Jimmy Cole," I said slowly, still wondering what I was missing.  She
said it like the name should have turned on a light bulb in my head.

She whispered so softly I almost didn't hear her when she said, "He's
Seth's father."

My eyes closed and I bit my lip to try and not react. "What do you
suppose he's doing here?"

"Damned if I know," she said.  "Looking for me probably, ... or Seth."

"Were you serious with this guy?"  That sounded like a stupid
question, but I'd never asked about Seth's father. I hadn't known if
she even knew who his father was, as bad as that sounded.  I hadn't
probed into the history of his conception or the story behind it.  Now
I was wishing I had.  I had just figured it was long in the past and
if the father hadn't been around up to this point, he wouldn't be an
issue now.

"Not really.  He asked me out a couple times, not knowing what I did
... and we slept together but I'd ... forgotten to take my pill, just
once.  I picked then to be the one time I didn't make the guy use a
condom."

"What happened?"

She laughed and it was a mournful sound.  "What do you think?"

"I mean with him."

"He followed me one night and found out what I did for a living.  He
flipped out.  When I found out I was pregnant a couple months later,
he didn't believe it was his.  He said ... he said I was a whore and
who the fuck knew who had put a bun in my oven.  Could have been a
thousand guys."  She paused, swallowing again.  "I told him he was the
only one I'd been with without a condom.  I couldn't defend being a
hooker, but he didn't believe me."  She paused again.  "Why should he
have?"

"Oh, Sydney," I said, and pulled her into a bear hug, laying her head
on my chest.  I glanced up to see Mulder physically restraining the
man, Jimmy Cole, now.

"I don't want to talk to him, not here in the street, Walter."

I nodded.  "Go to the car.  Lock yourself in.  I have extra keys on
me.  I'll take care of this and I'll meet you over there.

She nodded and slid away from me.  I put a hand on her shoulder and
said, "It'll be all right, Sydney.  We'll handle this.  I promise."

She nodded and turned on her heel and walked briskly off the terrace
and onto the sidewalk.  I turned and made my way back up the stairs.
I stopped level with the men and put my hands on my hips in my most
intimidating posture. "What's the problem, gentlemen?"

Agent Fischer turned to me and said, "This is my cousin. And you'll
never guess who he is?"

I was glad my voice was steady when I said, "You're Jimmy Cole, Seth's
father."

There were gasps from both Fischer and Jimmy.  "You know?" Jimmy
asked.  "She told you about me?"

"She's told me a lot of things.  We don't have many secrets."

"Who are you?  They're trying to tell me you're an A.D. here, but
you're dating Sydney."  He said it like that was an impossible
combination.

"That's right.  Sydney and I live together."

"Scully's cousin, my ass," Fischer commented.

"But she's a whore!" Jimmy suddenly shouted.  "Higher class now by the
looks of it, but a whore.  She didn't tell me either, the bitch!"  He
said this as though he were imparting news I didn't know about, hoping
to shock me.

I reacted without thinking and my fist shot out like lightning and
caught the young man square in the face. Blood spurted from his nose
as his head snapped back.  He shouted, "Oooowwww!" He then sank to his
knees, his hands over his nose.

Fischer made a move toward me, but Mulder put him in a head lock with
one arm and banded his hands behind him the other arm.  "I wouldn't if
I were you," he said menacingly.

"What the fuck?" Fischer exclaimed.

I glared at him and then down at Jimmy Cole on the ground. "Let's get
a couple things straight," I said.

By now a crowd was forming, but no one dared interfere.  I saw Kersch
emerge from the door to join the others.  He moved to the front of the
crowd as I began talking.  I addressed Jimmy.  "If you wish to speak
with me and Sydney, you'll come to my house at a prearranged time and
we'll discuss whatever it is you decided to show up for five years too
late, all right?"

He just stared at me.  "Secondly," I continued.  "People change.
Sometimes they have to survive and they do what they have to do in
order to achieve that.  Third, Sydney is my girlfriend and she lives
with me now.  I will not TOLERATE anyone calling her names.  They do,
and they will answer to ME.  Is that clear?"

He nodded feebly.  Kersch was sending me an inquiring look but
refrained from interfering.  I was waiting for him to ask what the
hell this was all about.  "Now, I don't appreciate you coming here and
attempting to assault me or my girlfriend on the front steps of my
workplace.  Do NOT let me see you here again.  As for you Agent
Fischer, I'll thank you to keep out of my personal life.  It's none of
your damned business.  I'll deal with you tomorrow.  Your partner was
scheduling an appointment when I left.  Get out of here before I crown
you too."

He swallowed heavily and jerked out of Mulder's hold as Mulder
loosened his grip.  He shrugged his jacket back into place on his
shoulder and helped Jimmy to his feet.  Jimmy muttered, "I think he
broke my fucking nose."

"That's not all I'll break if I see you here again.  And if you get
anywhere near Sydney without me being there, I'll make you wish you
were never born."

Fischer said, "Come on, Jimmy, let me get you to a hospital and we'll
have that nose looked at."  He gave me a dirty look.

I pulled my wallet out of my pocket and handed Jimmy a card.  It had
my work and home phone numbers on it.  I carried two different cards,
one for work and one with both numbers on it.  "This is my phone
number.  If you want to see Sydney or Seth, you call me."

With that, Mulder turned to the crowd as Jimmy and Fischer made their
way down the stairs.  He shouted, "Show's over, people.  Go home now."

They slowly dispersed and I blew air out of pursed lips, flexing my
hands in and out of fists.  Kersch didn't leave however and said, "You
gonna tell me what that's all about."

"Can we discuss it later?  Tomorrow?" I asked.  He glanced at my
flexing fists and decided now was not the time.

"Yes, tomorrow then.  Come see me when you can ... before lunch
though.  I want to know what happened here."

I nodded, not trusting myself to say anything else.  He nodded back
and turned and walked away.   I was glad he'd used the word whore,
rather than hooker.  It was insulting but didn't necessarily translate
to whore.  It would be like me calling a loose woman a slut, didn't
mean she did it for a living.  I was hoping no one heard the comment
at all but I knew some of them had. Mulder said, "Well, that could
have gone better."

That was the understatement of the year and I actually barked out a
mirthless cough of laughter.  "The King of Understatement," I
deadpanned.

He smiled a close-lipped smile at me.  "I guess I should have said, it
could have gone worse.  The crowd missed most of his outburst anyway."
He paused, switching subjects.  "I take it that's a 'no' to dinner,
huh?"

I smiled at him in spite of myself.  "Probably."  I paused as we
stared at each other.  "Thanks, Mulder."

"Don't mention it.  I've got to get going though.  Call us if you need
us."

"Thanks," I repeated.

"I mean it," he added, and then slapped me once on the shoulder and
made his way down the steps.

XXXXXXXXXX

Sydney just looked at me when I got into the car, waiting for me to
tell her what happened.  I started the engine but then just sat there.

"What did he want?" she asked quietly.

"We didn't get that far."

"What do you mean?"

"Apparently, Jimmy is Agent Fischer's cousin."

"Oh my God!" she whispered.

"Yeah, I have a feeling he'd heard your name and description before.
That may be why he reacted the way he did to you in the diner.  He
didn't ever believe you were Scully's cousin, I'll bet."

"Damn.  I knew that was a bad idea."

"We'll work it out.  I'm not worried about that.  You're her adopted
cousin," I smirked.

She tried to smile but failed and asked, "What happened, Walter?"

"Agent Fischer thought he was going to surprise me.  I'm glad you told
me who Jimmy was.  He said I'd never guess. You should have seen his
face when I said, "You're Jimmy Cole, Seth's father."

"What then?"

"Without giving you the conversation verbatim, I explained that you
were my girlfriend.  He couldn't believe you were dating me, said it
was impossible."

"Why?"

I swallowed.  I didn't want to tell her what he said but knowing there
was no way around it.  She was going to find out I hit him.  I
expected to hear from him, in spite of decking him.

"Because of what you did for a living ... what he thought you probably
still did."

"Oh damn.  Did he announce it to the world?"

"He called you a whore," I said softly.  I gripped the steering wheel,
my knuckles turning white.  I glanced at her and she was looking at
her lap, looking as sad as I'd ever seen her.  "I didn't want to tell
you."

"No, I need to know.  I'm not surprised, after all, that's what I am."

"No!  Sydney, damn it!  That's what you used to do.  You have to stop
talking about it in the present tense.  It was never who you were."

"Semantics.  What did you do?"

I wondered how to tell her.  Finally she looked at me and said,
"Answer me."

I took a deep breath and blurted it out.  "I hit him in the face and
broke his nose."

"Oh Christ!  Walter!"

"He'll be all right."

"I'm not worried about him!  I'm worried about your job! How many
people saw that?"

"Not many.  Most of the crowd formed after he crumpled to the ground,"
I said viciously. "Fucking bastard!  I could have killed him for
shouting that out."

Her hand came down on my forearm and I lowered it to the seat.  Her
hand slid down and I laced her fingers with mine.  My knuckles felt
bruised but there was no sign that I had hit him.  "It's going to
happen, Walter."

"No!  That's just it.  As long as I'm around, it's NOT going to
happen.  Not anymore.  If it does, people are going to answer to ME!
And that's the end of it," I growled.

She sat back in her seat, surprised at my show of temper and
vehemence.  I turned to her, chagrined, expecting to see her cowering
in the corner of the seat.  Instead she held my gaze steadily.  "You
don't need to protect me," she finally said softly.  "I'm used to
comments, innuendo, snide remarks."

"I don't have a choice, Sydney.  I WILL protect you because I don't
have a choice.  I love you.  Just because you're used to it doesn't
mean it can't change, and it doesn't mean it's right."

Her eyes grew moist and her face crumbled into a mask of emotion.  She
bit her lower lip and I turned sideways, reaching for her.  She came
into my arms.  It was a bit awkward, the steering wheel getting in my
way, and I hitched past it to take her up against my chest.  She
sniffled and said, "I don't know how to react to that," she stated
simply, sounding totally bewildered.

I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped.  "You're my girl now, Sydney
and it's a whole new ball game."

"I'll say," she murmured.

I pulled back enough to see her face and kissed her gently. "I
shouldn't have hit him, but it was like a reflex.  I gave him my card
with my phone numbers.  I told him to call me and set up an
appointment if he wanted to see you or Seth.  I don't want you alone
with him, Sydney, not under any circumstances.  Promise me."

She gazed at me.  I could see a flash of indignant pride but then she
deflated and nodded.  "Promise me," I repeated again.

She looked up at me looking so lost and beguiling, almost like a child
in that moment and my chest constricted with love for her.  "I
promise," she said simply, a little hesitantly.

"I'm only asking because I don't want you to be hurt, or God forbid,
for Seth to be hurt."

"You're not asking."

I swallowed.  "You're right, I'm not."

She just stared at me and licked her lips, as though trying to think
of something to say.  I sighed.  "O.K., please don't be alone with
him, Sydney.  I don't know him.  But I don't trust him.  He could
snatch Seth."

Her head jerked up at that comment.  "Is that what you think he ..."

"I don't know," I said quickly.  "But I'm not leaving us open to any
chances.  He's showing up now for a reason. And until I know what it
is, I don't want either of you vulnerable.  And like it or not,
Sydney, alone ... you are vulnerable."

She nodded and sat back in her seat and I slid behind the wheel.
"Don't be mad at me for protecting you."  She didn't say anything.
"Don't be mad at me for loving you, Sydney.  I can't help it."

She smiled then, sadly, and said, "You're a real nut case, you know
that?"  Reverting to banter was her defense mechanism when things got
heavy.  I let her have it, this time, as a small shield.

"Nutty about you, Sydney."

"I love you, Walter, I do."

"I know."

"Do you?"  I stared at her a moment, not saying anything. "I'm not
good at showing it, Walter.  I'm not used to saying it, and I'm not
used to hearing it."

"I know, baby.  It's all right.  You don't have to say it every time I
do."

"I want to.  If I don't say it, I think it."

I smiled at her.  "Progress, not perfection."

"You're too easy on me."

"You deserve easy, Sydney.  You've had it way too hard up 'till now."

"Can't argue with you there.  A lifetime of habits die hard.  I'm from
the streets, Walter, no matter what I look like in this suit.  I don't
know if that will ever entirely go away."

"I wouldn't want it to."

She looked at me strangely then.  "That doesn't make sense."

"Sure it does."  I put the car in gear and finally pulled onto the
street and into traffic.  I wanted to keep talking but I wanted to do
the rest at home.

"Explain that."

"It's part of who you are, Sydney.  It's part of the tough, feisty,
in-
your-face woman I fell in love with.  Yes, I want you to come to
believe that you deserve better, that you deserve all the good things
life has to offer.  And I want to share them with you.  I want you to
put your past behind you.  Not forget it, but forgive yourself for
it."

"I don't know if I can."

"I've forgiven you.  Seth's forgiven you.  He loves you so much."

She sniffled again.  "It's so good to see him every day again."

"Forgive yourself, Sydney.  You did what you had to do.  I want you to
love yourself again.  In no way, though, do I want you to do a 180 in
your personality and become some docile, wilting flower."

"Not much chance of that happening," she deadpanned.

I smiled.  "I just want you to understand that when I ask you to do
something straight out, it's only because I love you and I want to
protect you.  I'd never forgive myself if something were to happen to
you or Seth."

"You can't bodyguard me, Walter."

"No, but I can be there when you need me.  And I want to be.  And this
situation is precarious until we know what he wants.  I'm ASKING now.
I'm asking you to trust me and cooperate with me on this.  I don't
want you to answer the phone or the door unless you know who it is."

"I won't.  I'm so used to acting tough, needing to be tough, it's like
a reflex.  It doesn't mean I don't see the logic in what you're
saying."

"Better safe than sorry is all I'm trying to say," I added.

"We're on the same page."

"I hope so.  Where's Seth?" I asked, changing the subject.

"He's with Bobby.  His mother, Joyce said he could get off the bus
there and I could pick him up there when I was finished.  I should
probably call her and tell her I'm running late."

I reached into my coat pocket and handed her my digital phone.  She
pulled a small scrap of paper from her wallet out of her purse and
unfolded it.  She dialed the number as I said, "I have to get you a
book for phone numbers. You'll need one."

"I need a lot of things, but I don't want you getting them for me,"
she said dryly.

I sighed, deciding to let that go for now.  We had bigger things to
worry about.  Her tone of voice changed dramatically as talked into
the phone.  "Hi, this is Sydney. I'm sorry I'm running later than I
thought.  Walter, uh, got caught at work a little later than he
thought."

I smiled at her quick fabrication.  "We're on our way," she added.

"What happened?"  I heard the change in her voice instantly.

"What?" I asked.

She waved me silent.  "We'll be there in twenty minutes. Tell him I'm
on my way.  Thanks, Joyce."

She cut off the call.  "What's the matter?"

"I'm not sure.  She said Seth had a rough day at school. She thinks he
got picked on about something.  God, I hope it wasn't me."

"Let's wait and see."

"She said she asked him about it, but he said he didn't want to talk
about it.  She didn't want to push.  She doesn't know him that well
yet. He and Bobby have been friends for while.  They were in
Kindergarten together, but he's just started going over there since I
moved in with you.  Gran's was too far away. And she didn't have a
car."

Seth had just started the first grade.  His birthday was coming up and
he would be six.  Poor little shit was so confused.  I could only hope
that time would heal some of the wounds.  Despite liking living with
me and Sydney, I knew he missed the familiar surroundings of his
'grandmother's' apartment.  She wasn't his real grandmother,
obviously, but he thought of her that way and for all intents and
purposes she was.  I made a mental note to ask Sydney if we should
offer to take him to visit.  I didn't really know how she felt about
Mrs. Margales.  I know she respected her and was grateful to her for
caring for Seth.  I'd gotten the impression that the old woman had
grown to love Seth.  She'd been genuinely upset when we took him away,
but glad that Sydney was leaving the streets.  One more piece of the
puzzle that needed to be filled in.




PART 6 (R )
JOYCE & ROBERT COMBS' HOME
ALEXANDRIA, VA

Seth rushed out the door as we pulled up.  I realized it was probably
the first time he'd been left at a friend's house in a while.  He'd
gone there to visit when Bobby and he made plans, but this was the
first time Sydney had dropped him there and left for an entire day.
It'd been her idea this time, not his.  I could see the relief on his
face and suddenly realized that he wasn't sure we'd be coming back to
get him.

My heart broke as I watched him smile at Sydney as she climbed out of
the car.  "Mom!" he cried, and I forced a smile onto my face.  Joyce
Combs' appeared in the front door, and spoke through the screen.

"Would you like to come in for coffee?"

Sydney caught Seth up in her arms and I turned toward Mrs. Combs.  "No
thank you.  We need to get home today."

"Oh, all right then," she said, sounding a little disappointed.  I
nodded at Sydney to stay with Seth and approached the woman on the
front porch.

"Joyce, is it?" I asked.

"Yes," she said as she opened the screen door and stepped out onto the
porch.  I shook her hand.

"Walter Skinner.  Thanks for taking care of Seth."

"No problem.  He's a tough little tike, but he's a good boy."

"I like him."

She smiled at that.  "Your relationship with Sydney is new?"

"Uh, yeah.  We've known each other for quite a while but we've been
together ... officially for about five months."

"Very nice to meet you."

"You too.  Sydney said you mentioned there was something wrong."

She pursed her lips. "I'm not sure.  He seemed very down in the dumps
when he got here.  I asked him if something was wrong.  He didn't deny
it but just said he didn't want to talk about it.  I figured something
must have happened at school.  While he was in the bathroom, I asked
my son if he knew what was wrong and if I could help.  He just said,
'I promised not to tell', but ... somebody said something bad to him
today.'  I left it at that."

I nodded.  "Thanks.  I'll try to see if I can get him to tell me
later."

I shifted my weight from one leg to another, and she asked, "You look
uncomfortable.  Is something wrong?"

"I'm not sure," I said.  I glanced up and saw Sydney opening the back
door for Seth and loading him into the car, reaching for his seat
belt.  "Seth's father showed up where I work today."

"Oh dear, is that a bad thing?"

"He abandoned Sydney when she was pregnant.  She hasn't seen him
since, I don't think, but I just wanted to mention it.  If Seth's
staying here, I would hate for Jimmy to show up and say he was Seth's
father and have you think it was ..."

"O.K. to let him go with him?"

"Yeah."

"I wouldn't do that Mr. Skinner.  I would check him out first.  I'd
call Sydney."

"I'm sure you would.  I just thought I'd mention it.  I doubt he will
show up.  But on the off chance ..."

"Not to worry."

"His name is Jimmy Cole."

"I'll remember that.  Thanks for the head's up."

I nodded.  "I really appreciate you helping out.  Sydney doesn't know
many people around here and ..."

"Don't mention it.  It's good for Bobby to have a close friend too.
Maybe you can take a rain check on the coffee?"

"That would be nice."

I nodded to her as I stepped off the porch.  Sydney got in the car and
leaned out the window.  "Thanks, Joyce!"

"No problem.  See you tomorrow!"

Sydney waved and rolled up her window as I slid behind the wheel.  We
drove the four blocks to our townhouse and parked.


Xxxxxxxxxxx
WALTER SKINNER'S APARTMENT
ALEXANDRIA, VA

Once inside, I said, "Let's order pizza.  I'll bet you don't feel like
cooking.  And I know I don't."

Sydney smiled.  "I want to get out of this suit!"

I smiled.  "Go on and do that.  I'll call for the pizza."

"Pepperoni?!" Seth asked.

"Sure, sport.  Anything else?"

"Nope."

"Why don't you go change into another tee shirt and wash your hands,
Seth.  That looks pretty grubby."

"We were playing in the sand pile behind his house," he said, sounding
defensive.

"It's all right.  I'm not mad, Seth.  I just want you to wash your
hands and change your shirt so you're not dirty when you eat."

He sighed in relief.  "Oh," was all he said.  I smiled reassuringly at
him. He trotted toward the stairs as I picked up the phone.

I muttered, "I've got to get that kid some clothes."  I picked up the
phone and dialed DiMitri's Pizza down the street.

xxxxxxxxxx

After I ordered the pizza, Sydney came downstairs wearing jeans and a
tee shirt.  She looked just as delectable in those casual clothes as
she did in that suit.  She was swimming in the tee shirt she wore and
not wearing a bra and I realized it was my tee shirt.  It hung nearly
to her knees.  I smiled at her and shook my head in amusement. "If you
shake your shoulders, that shirt will fall right off you," I teased.

She grinned and said, "I felt so bound up in that suit today.  I'm not
used to wearing clothes like that."

I nodded and said, "Joyce thinks somebody said something mean to Seth
today at school.  He wouldn't talk about it but I think we should ask
about it."

She sighed.  "I will."

Just then he appeared in the doorway, wearing sweat pants and a tee
shirt.  He climbed into the kitchen chair and didn't say anything.
Sydney poured him some milk and asked casually, "So Seth.  How did
school go today?"

He frowned and then took a drink of the milk to avoid answering.  He
swallowed and said, "O.K., I guess."

"Mrs. Coombs thought that something might be wrong."

He looked down at his lap and shrugged his shoulders.  He looked so
dejected.

I approached him and knelt down next to his chair, one arm on the
table, one on the back of chair.  He looked at me warily.  I schooled
my voice to be quiet and soothing.  I had a tendency to boom out my
words without even thinking about it.  "Seth, I want you to know
something."

He nodded, waiting.

"I know you're used to keeping things to yourself."

He nodded again.

"Because you're afraid of the way people will react?"

"Yeah," he said softly.

"Well, your mom and I talked and we wanted to tell you that we only
have one big rule when it comes to talking to us about what's going on
with you in school or with your friends."

"What's that?" he asked in a small voice.

"Just tell the truth, Seth.  You're not with your Gramma anymore.  I
know you miss her, but she probably didn't understand a lot of things,
huh?"

He shook his head.

"Wasn't her fault really," Sydney added.  "But Gramma was older and
she'd ... forgotten what it was like to be a kid."

He looked at Sydney now, so she continued.  "Walter and I are adults
too, but we're not so old that we've forgotten. In other words,
darling, we probably understand more than Gramma did.  And unlike
Gramma, we might be able to help. I know you and me have gone through
a lot of changes lately and it's scary sometimes.  I don't know what
to do sometimes either."

"You don't?" he asked, sounding curious.

She smiled.  "Nope.  It's new to me too, so we're learning together.
That means that we have to talk to each other though.  If we keep
secrets, how are we going to learn to adjust to all this new stuff?"

"I dunno."

I interrupted again.  "Whatever it is, Seth.  I won't be mad."

"How do you know?"

I smiled.  "Cause it takes a lot to get me mad."  That wasn't true but
he didn't need to know that right now!

He swallowed harshly again and said, "They're having a ... father-son
softball game at school next Friday."

"Oh yeah?" Sydney asked.

I closed my eyes, seeing the train coming, metaphorically speaking.
"Go on," I encouraged.

"Well, Bobby's bringing his Dad.  There's only one other kid that
can't bring his dad and that's because he's traveling on business.  Or
that's what he said anyway."

"Were you asked if you were bringing your father?" Sydney asked.

"Sort of."

"Tell me," I said softly, looking into his eyes and feeling my knees
start to hurt from kneeling on the linoleum.

He hung his head and said, "Carl ... he's this jerk, kind of the class
bully."

I stayed silent, nodding.

He took a deep breath, "There's this life size cardboard cut out in
the school of the principal in the hall.  The kids secretly call it
Mr. Fatso.  His name is really Mr. Peters."

Sydney smirked but then bit her lip.

"Bobby asked me if I had anyone to bring.  The guys overheard him and
... Carl said ... he said, well, ... 'Seth could bring Mr. Fatso.'  He
pointed at the cardboard."

His face crumpled and his little shoulders began to hitch as the tears
finally came.  Through the sobs that were emerging he nearly shouted,
"I told him to go screw himself!"

I stood and scooped him out of the chair.  His legs went around my
waist and his arms around my shoulders.  Sydney stood up and wrapped
her arms around us both as far as she could reach.  I could feel his
tears wetting my shirt. "Hey, Sport, it will be all right."

"I don't want to go!" he cried.

"Even if I go with you?" I asked calmly.

He jerked his head off my shoulders, still crying and stared into my
face.  "You'd go?" he asked innocently.

"Of course I'd go.  I'd be honored."

Sydney's eyes were suspiciously wet but she managed not to cry and
instead bit her bottom lip again.

He sniffled and wiped his arm over his eyes to clear away the tears.
Sydney backed away but kept her hand on his leg.  I set him gently
back down into his chair.  He looked up at me and said, "You don't
have to do that.  I know you're not really my dad and ..."

"I'd love to go, Seth.  And as far as I'm concerned, I'm your dad
now."

He continued to look at me and fresh tears fell from his eyes.  They
were bright blue like his mother's.  He smiled and wiped his face
again.  He nearly whispered, "I didn't think you would want ..."

"Didn't think I'd want what?  To go with you?"

"Me," he said softly.  "Just cause we're living here doesn't mean you
want to be my father.  You said to call you, Walter, but I mean, I
know you love Mommy, but that doesn't mean ..."

I felt something crack wide open inside my chest.  This kid was
killing me.  I ruffled his hair with my palm on the top of his head.
"Well, let's clear that up right now.  I want to be your father, Seth,
in every way that matters.  Do you remember our talk the other day?"

"Which part?"

"The part where I said that I wanted to be a family and I asked you if
we could do that?"

"Oh, yeah," he replied.

Sydney smiled a sad smile, staring at me.  She mouthed the words, "I
love you."

I smiled and pulled her to my side, kissing the top of her head.
"When I said I wanted us to be a family, that's what I meant. I want
to be a father to you."

One corner of his mouth turned up as he continued to peer at us, not
sure whether to believe me or not.  Finally he asked, "Should I call
you Walter, like before?"

It was my turn to bite my lip.  "Sounds a little formal, don't you
think?" I asked in a serious voice.

He nodded seriously back at me and I could see Sydney trying not to
smile.

"You're kind of like a stepdad dad.  I could call you Steppy."

Sydney did laugh now and he turned to look her, his face a mask of
seriousness.  "Oh Seth!" she burst out.

"What?"

"How about we keep it simple, Sport, and you just call me Dad."

He smiled then, finally and nodded his head tentatively, "O.K. ... you
sure?"

I nodded.  "I'm sure."

I bent down and hugged him again.  Then door bell rang. Great timing.

Xxxxxxxxxx
THE NEXT DAY

Needless to say, we didn't get to use the blindfold that night.  It
had been an emotional day running into Jimmy, and an emotional time
with Seth that night.  Walter had been wonderful with him, seeming to
instinctively know what Seth needed to hear.  That wasn't all of it
though.  He wasn't muttering platitudes.  We talked later and he told
me that he really did want to be a family.

He'd even mentioned adopting Seth which surprised the hell out of me.
It was the first time I'd heard him mention marriage too.

"Of course," he'd said.  "It's easier to adopt if you're married."

I'd stared at him and said, "I wouldn't want you to marry me just for
that."

He'd scowled at me and I realized he was getting tired of me doubting
him and thinking he had ulterior motives.  He'd responded.  "I'd marry
you because I love you, Sydney.  And I'd adopt Seth because I love
him,
too, and he needs a real father, in name as well as deed."

"Are you proposing?"

"That would be a pretty lame proposal, wouldn't it?"

"So you're not proposing?" I asked, getting confused.

"Sydney, I'm trying to find out how you feel about it.  I love you,
yes I want to marry you, but I don't want to rush you either.  Like
you said earlier, this is all new to you and Seth.  I'm not stupid
enough to think that all those adjustments are going to be made
overnight.  Sometimes it feels like you just got here, sometimes it
feels like you've been here forever.  Realistically, though, I know
it's only been a little over five months.  You're starting a whole new
life and I know five months isn't really a long time in the big scheme
of things."

We were silent for several moments and I said, "You really want to
marry me?"  I still had trouble grasping that someone wanted me that
much, was willing to spend the rest of their life with me.  Making
that kind of commitment with anyone was something I'd given up on a
long time ago.  Now it seemed that all my dreams were coming true fast
and furious.  It was a bit overwhelming.  I didn't really doubt him,
per se.  I just couldn't wrap my mind around it all sometimes.

Then there was Jimmy.  That was a new wrinkle.  I didn't want to see
him but figured it might be inevitable.  As much as I wanted to stand
on my own and not need Walter, the truth was that I did need him.  I
was afraid of Jimmy. He'd been a little crazy when we were together
and he'd been down right nasty when he'd found out I was pregnant.
'What the hell could he want?' I wondered.  Over five years had gone
by without a whiff of him and now suddenly he was showing up looking
for me?  Why?

Then it occurred to me that we'd run into Agent Cole Fischer in the
diner.  He must have talked to Jimmy in the past, had my description
and my name and somehow made the connection.  Or maybe he called Jimmy
and asked him to come check me out for himself.  I didn't get it
though.  What did he want?  He'd shown no interest in me since my
pregnancy, not even a word.  Why would he care, even if Fischer had
put the pieces together and called me?

A couple days later we found out.

xxxxxxxxxxx

Attorney Brad Rice called the house and asked for Walter Skinner.  I
took a message, having no clue what it was all about.  When Walter got
home, he returned the call and found out that Brad Rice was Jimmy
Cole's attorney.  He wanted to sue for custody of Seth.  He was
remarried and felt he could give the kid a better home life than
Sydney could.

Walter let him rattle on and said, "What did he tell you about
Sydney's present position?"

[Not much.  Just told me she was a prostitute.]

"Jimmy's a little out of date, say, five years out of date.  She
hasn't been on the streets in a long time."  Walter had exaggerated
the amount of time I'd been off the streets, making it sound like it
had been ages.

I listened as he began firing questions at the attorney.

"Did he tell you he was nasty and violent with her when she told him
he was pregnant?

"Did he tell you he disappeared and was never seen or heard from
again?"

"Did he tell you he's never even SEEN Seth?"

"Did he tell you she's living with an Assistant Director of the FBI?!"

"Did he tell you that Sydney has custody, but I have legal
guardianship as well?"

"Did he tell you we plan to be married shortly and I plan to adopt
Seth as my own?"

"No?!  What a surprise!  He didn't tell you because he doesn't know!
He's never visited or bothered to ask.  The only thing he did is show
up out of the blue after five years of obscurity and harass me at my
place of work!  You do what you have to do, counselor.  But I'd
suggest
that you advise your client that he has NO CASE.  And if he decides to
pursue this, I will use everything at my disposal to fight him.  And I
have a LOT at my disposal.  He has a new wife?  Good for him, let him
have his own kids with her and leave mine alone!"

He'd been nearly shouting by the end of the conversation. He hung up
and turned to me.  He was in full protector mode, his eyes blazing.  I
stood silent, not knowing what to say, but finally said, "What did he
say?"

"His eloquent response was, 'I'll get back to you.'"

"What do we do now?"

"We wait.  And I don't want to mention this to Seth."

"Don't we have to?"

"No.  Jimmy may never get the chance to see him.  If we have to tell
him, we will.  Otherwise, why stir up the pot? He's never known or
seen Jimmy.  Mention him and he'll build him up into this perfect
fantasy Dad that he never had and he'll want to see him.  That could
start a shit storm."

I nodded, seeing his reason.  Children had a tendency to make absent
people into Saints.  It was easier to blame your plight on the those
around you.  They had a face.  I also knew that Seth had dreamed of
having a father since he was old enough to realize that he didn't have
one.  Walter was taking on that role and I wanted it for him.  Jimmy
could ruin everything in the blink of an eye.

I walked up to him and laid my hands on his chest.  "I'm scared,
Walter," I confessed.  "I just got him to myself, finally.  We're
finally living together.  I'm making a home for him ... and now I
might lose him!  I don't know what I'll do if he's taken away!"

He wrapped his arms around me.  "I won't let that happen, Sydney."

"You can't promise that!"

"Yes, I can.  I'll investigate him if he pursues this. I'll know every
fart he's let sideways for the last five years.  I'll find something
on him.  And if it comes to that, I'll bury the motherfucker in a
character contest.  I have no record.  I work for the FBI.  I've never
had so much as a parking ticket."

I didn't mention that if anyone ever found out about his kinky sexual
tastes, it wouldn't matter.  His whole life would be erased except for
that one fact.  But no one did know about it.  Only Mulder and Scully
and they would never reveal it to anyone.  On the other hand, my past
wasn't so easy to erase.  I wished I could erase my past.

"I was a hooker, Walter.  That never leaves.  It's going be a fucking
dark cloud over my head for the rest of my fucking life!" I screamed
at the end.

He held me tighter.  "No it won't.  This will blow over. We'll move on
and people will forget."

"I don't know if I believe that."

"Stick with me, baby.  I'll make you believe," he whispered.

I looked up at him.  "I want to believe," I whispered back.

He laughed suddenly and grinned at me.

"What?"

"Nothing, just thinking about extreme possibilities.  You, me, Seth,
being a family.  It's unbelievable, but it's true, Sydney.  It's going
to work.  We're going to make it work."

He lowered his head and kissed me tenderly, teasing my lip with the
end of his tongue.  He suckled my lower lip, pulling away slowly.  "I
love you, Sydney.  Damn it, it took me my whole life to find you.  I'm
gonna make this a family or die trying.  We're getting married,
Sydney.  I'm going out tomorrow and buying you the prettiest ring I
can find.  Then I'm talking to my lawyer tomorrow about starting
adoption proceedings."

"Are you proposing this time?" I teased, feeling my eyes sting with
tears.  These were joyful tears though.

"Yes, ma'am.  This time, I'm proposing.  It's still a lame proposal,
but it's what I have for now.  Marry me, Sydney. Be my wife.  Let's
make that family we've both been dreaming about for years now."

I looked up into his chocolate brown eyes and smiled.  I felt one tear
roll down my cheek.  He flicked his thumb over it and then brought it
to his mouth.  "No more tears, Sydney," he said softly.

He bent down and kissed me and then pulled away enough to talk.  "Say
'yes', Syd."

"Yes, Walter," I murmured.  "God, yes."

He took my mouth under his.  The gentleness was gone and passion
flared this time.  We smooched for several minutes and then parted.
"God, I love you, Sydney."

"I love you too, Walter."

"Is Seth still at Joyce's?" I asked.

"Yeah, I was going to take the car and go get him when you got home,
but then we were sidetracked by that phone call."

"Call her now," he instructed.  "I'll change my clothes quick and go
with you."

I nodded and called Joyce to tell her I would be coming to get Seth
and apologizing once again for being late.  She surprised me when she
asked if Seth could stay over night with Bobby.

"I guess so.  He doesn't have any extra clothes though.  I could run
them by."

Joyce said it was fine.  He could wear some of Bobby's clothes home
tomorrow and get them back later.  She said Seth had been very excited
to tell her that Mr. Skinner was going to the softball game with him
and had proudly announced, "He's my new Dad.  He said so."

I covered my mouth with my hand and my doubts faded away. I was doing
the right thing.  Marriage was scary.  However, it seemed that
everything in my life was scary.  I had to keep moving forward.  It
was time to stop living in the past and look to the future.  I needed
to do it for my son's sake, for Walter's sake and, mostly, for my
sake.
The pity pot was getting thrown away and I was going to try like hell
not to look in the rear view window.




PART 7 (PG)
ARLINGTON GRAMMAR SCHOOL
BASEBALL FIELD
THE FOLLOWING FRIDAY 2:00 PM

I'd left work early to get here.  Kimberly had been shocked when I
told her where I needed to go.

"A father-son softball game?" she asked with shock in her voice.

"Yes, and Kim ..."

"I know, keep it to myself," she answered automatically.

I'd smiled at her.  "No, I don't care if anyone knows.  Everyone else
takes time off to do things with their kids and school activities. Why
shouldn't I?"

"I didn't mean it that way!" she said hurriedly.

"I'm not ashamed, Kim.  I love that little boy and for all intents and
purposes, I'm his father now and he needs me.  He's felt like an
outsider for too long."

"I'm sorry, Sir!  I didn't mean to imply ..."

"Don't worry, Kim.  I'm not upset with you.  I'm just telling you so
you know."

"Oh," she said sheepishly, not knowing what to say after that.

"What I was going to say was; If Mulder or Scully is looking for me,
tell them where I am and that I'll be home around 5:00 PM."

"Very good, Sir.  I'll do that," she said with a curt nod of her head.

I smiled at her again, shaking my head.  "I know it's weird.  It's a
new me, huh?"

She smiled back at me then and said, "It will take some getting used
to, Sir."

I grinned.  "Well, get used to it.  It's not going to change anytime
soon."

"I like it," she said quietly.

"Me too, Kim.  Me too."  With that I'd left the office.

Now I stood at the edge of the field, peering through the chain link
fence, looking for Seth.  I saw that many of the fathers had gotten
there early.  I spotted him over near the dug out, swinging a pint
sized bat.  There were about 10 kids near him and another group over
near first base.  I headed toward him.

As I drew close I heard some kid say, "Hey, Seth.  I thought you said
your Dad was coming."

"He is," he replied, and continued swinging the bat.  He looked
worried though.

"I think you were just saying that.  Everybody knows you don't have a
father."

God, kids could be cruel.  Seth stopped swinging and looked the boy,
who was larger than he was by half a head.  "I do now," he said
sternly.

"Then where is he?" the boy taunted.

I shouted above the din of twenty or so kids chattering, "Hey son!
Sorry I'm late."

I was dressed in jeans and a tee shirt, tucked into my jeans.  I
didn't
own anything resembling a baseball uniform, but it appeared the other
fathers were dressed in a similar fashion.

I saw Seth's face sag in relief.  "Dad!" he yelled.

He threw a triumphant look at his tormentor and jogged toward me.  I
wanted to scoop him up in my arms and squeeze him, but I knew that
would be embarrassing in front of his friends.  So instead, I wrapped
my arm around his shoulders, gave him a quick squeeze of reassurance
and then clapped him on the back.  "Ready to play ball?"

"You bet!" he cried out, beaming at me and then at the circle of boys
who were staring at me with unabashed curiosity.

I walked up to the group with Seth in tow and asked, "So where's your
coach?  How are they dividing up teams?"

I think they were intimidated by my size because several of them
merely
pointed at their coach who was standing about 10 feet away, talking to
one of the other fathers.  "Let me go talk to him, all right?" I asked
Seth.

He nodded.  I turned toward the couch and heard Seth say, "I TOLD
you."

I smiled to myself and approached the coach.  "Mr. Faraday?" I asked.

He turned to face me.  "Yes?"

"Hi, I'm Walter Skinner, Seth's father."  I stuck out my hand and he
shook it, a slow smile crawling across his face.

"Well, hello.  It's nice to finally meet you?"

"Excuse me?"

"Seth's done nothing but brag about you since last week.  He told us
you'd agreed to come play."

I smiled.  "How does this work?  I must admit, I'm a novice."

He smiled again.  "Well get you set up.  I'll call them all together
in a minute and we'll divide up the teams.  Fathers play on the
same teams as their sons."

"Sounds good."

"Obviously, we go easy with the hits when we're up at bat."

"I figured that!"

He chuckled.  "Seth's a good little player."

"Glad to hear it.  Sorry to say, this will be the first time I've seen
him play, although we've been tossing a ball for the last week."

He looked at me again as the other father stuck out his hand.  "Hi,
I'm Robert Coombs."

"Oh!  Nice to meet you.  You have a lovely wife."

"Thank you.  Joyce said you'd stopped by.  I just wanted to say how
happy I am that you are taking an interest in Seth."

"An interest?  He's my son," I stated, and found that I really felt
that.  That I wanted it to be true in every sense of the word.

"That didn't come out right.  Bobby and Seth have been friends for a
long time, a year.  Which is a long time for kids.  He's always felt
inferior I think cause his Dad wasn't around."

"Well, that's over now," I stated gruffly.

"I'm glad.  I think it will do wonders for his self esteem."

"I hope so."

"How's Sydney?"

"She's doing good.  Looking for a job right now."

"Doing what?"

"Just about anything at this point.  She enrolled her in a typing
class at the adult Ed.  If that goes well, she'll try some more
classes."

"I'll keep my ears open.  Joyce still wants to have you over for
dinner, or coffee or something."

"I'd appreciate that.  Sydney needs some independence.  I think a job
would go a long way toward making her feel better.  But she needs new
friends too."

He nodded gravely and looked directly into my eyes.  He knew, I
realized suddenly.  He knew what Sydney used to do for a living.  I
swallowed heavily.  He continued to look at me and the silence grew
awkward.  "Well, let's get this show on the road," I said.

He smiled, and I knew that he understood and didn't hold it against
her.  I felt relief.  He wouldn't say anything.  Somehow, I just knew
he would keep his mouth shut.  I gave him a grateful smile and the
coach stepped into the breach, shouting over us.  "O.K. Boys!  Let's
gather around!"

XXXXXXXXXX

The rest of game went off without a hitch.  The coach divided us up
into teams.  Nine kids and nine fathers on each team.  The fathers
played the positions along with the sons and often snatched up balls
the boys missed and threw it gently towards its next destination.  It
was a little crowded.

I was surprised, despite my enthusiasm to do this for Seth, that I had
a lot of fun.  I'd forgotten what it felt like to just do something
normal.  I'd never had a kid, but I had played some baseball and
softball in my days as a teen and in college.  It had been a long
time.

I found myself laughing when a kid fumbled a play and clapping with
enthusiasm when they tagged someone out.  The enthusiasm of the other
fathers and the coach was infectious.  I'd never seen Seth smile so
hard.  We were playing short stop and got quite a few opportunities to
throw the ball.  I'd usually catch it when it came toward me and hand
it to him quickly and let him throw it toward the next base.  Our
catch practice paid off and he could throw it quite a distance.

We were sweaty and tired by the end of it but I felt better than I had
in years.  As the boys headed for the showers inside the school, I
walked to the car and grabbed a clean tee shirt I'd brought.  I
stripped my sweaty one off and tossed it on the passenger seat,
pulling the clean one over my head.  As my head popped out the hole, I
found a kid standing there staring at me from the front of the car. He
was sweaty and looked a little nervous.  It was the kid that had
teased Seth.

I tensed a little but then wondered why.  I guess I was never a big
fan of bullies.  And although the kid was only 6, he was already a
bully.  "Can I help you?" I asked in my surliest voice.

He flinched as I pulled my tee shirt down and tucked it into my jeans.

"Uh, I was just wondering ..."

"Yes?"

"Are you really Seth's Dad?"

How do I answer this?

"Yes," I said simply.

"He told me his Dad ran away and he'd never known him."

"Well, I'm with his Mom now.  She and Seth both live with me.  That
makes Seth my son in every way that counts."

He nodded.  "So you're a ... second Dad."

"Something like that.  Is that a problem?"

"No."

"I'm glad.  I'm very protective of Seth.  I'd hate to find out someone
was being a bully to him," I said, with just a hint of menace.

He shook his head rapidly in the negative.  "I won't!"

"Good."

He turned and looked back at three kids standing at the edge of the
parking lot.  He turned back to me.

"Did they dare you to come over here and ask me questions?" I asked
casually.

He nodded again nervously.  "Yeah."

"Well, you tell them I don't care what they thought in the past, but
I'm Seth's father now and you'll be seeing a lot more of me."

"Yes, Sir," he said formally.

"I plan on throwing Seth a big birthday party."

"You do?"

"Yup.  It's a surprise though, so don't tell him."

"I won't!"

I grinned at him, knowing having this secret would make him feel
important.  He probably only picked on others cause he felt inadequate
himself.  "However," I added, "Only his good friends will be invited."

I looked at him meaningfully.  He said, "You mean kids that are nice
to him and that he likes."

"Exactly.  It's going to be quite a party too.  I'm thinking of hiring
a clown, maybe some pony rides."

"Pony rides?!"

"Yup.  But don't tell Seth, all right?"

"I promise!"

"I may need your help."

"My help?"

"Yeah, I may need to get a list of his friends from you."  I paused.
"Only the kids that are nice to him, of course."

"Of course," he said, nodding sagely.

"Well, here comes Seth and Bobby.  You better hit those showers.  Your
father is probably waiting for you."

"Yes, Sir!"  He turned on his heel and ran back towards his friends.

I smiled inwardly, knowing it was sneaky, but knowing I'd probably
just garnered Seth some new friends.  Kids' alliances were precarious
at best.  Even if their motivations were false at first, I felt
confident that once they got to know Seth and gave him a chance, they
really would become his friends.

Robert Coombs came up to me and shook my hand.  "Nice meeting you.
I'll have Joyce call you and set up a time to have dinner."

"Sounds good."

"Any plans for the weekend?"

"I don't think so, but I'll have to check with Sydney."

"We'll be in touch.  Come on, Bobby."

"Can Seth come with us and spend the night?"

"Not tonight, Bobby," I answered.  "It's the weekend and we want to
have dinner as a family tonight."

"O.K.," he said, looking glum.

"Maybe tomorrow night, if your Mom says it's all right."
He brightened up and smiled.  "We'll be in touch," Robert said.  He
grasped Bobby's hand and led him away.  I popped the locks on the car.
Seth slid into his side, not having a said a word the whole time.

I got in and buckled us up and headed for home.  "I think it went
well, don't you?"

"Our team won!" he said.

"Yes, we did.  You were awesome!" I said.

He beamed at me and I felt warmth spreading inside my chest.  I
glanced at him again as we pulled out of the parking lot.  His smile
faded and he said, "Thanks for coming."

"I wouldn't have missed it, Seth."

"Mommy said you were leaving work early to do this."

"Yes, I did."

"Were they mad?"

"Who, work?"

"Yeah."

"No.  I'm sort of a supervisor there.  So I can leave if I want to.
And I haven't left very often in the past, so I've built up some time.
I'm due for a little time off."

"I wouldn't want you to get in any trouble."

"I won't.  This was more important."

He gave me a skeptical look.

I glanced at him again.  "YOU'RE more important, Seth."

He smiled tremulously, reminding me again so much of Sydney in that
moment I felt my eyes sting.  "Thanks," he said softly.

"I mean it, Seth. I know you're not used to having a father.  But I
swear I'm not going anywhere."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

He smiled a close lipped smile then and whispered, "Wow."

I left it at that and we stopped talking.  I turned on the CD player
and we sang, "Puff the Magic Dragon" together for the rest of the
trip.  Who would have thought I'd ever have this music in my car?  I
mused internally.  Seth and Sydney weren't the only ones making
adjustments and they weren't the only ones changing either.

XXXXXXXXXXXX
WALTER SKINNER'S TOWNHOUSE
ARLINGTON, VA
LATER THAT EVENING

Dinner that night was laden with Seth's enthusiastic recounting of the
entire softball game to Sydney.  She laughed and exclaimed at all the
appropriate places.  After dinner, he went into the living room to
watch a video while we did the dishes.

Sydney said softly. "I can't believe the change in him.  He never used
to talk that much."

I grinned.  "He never had anything he wanted to talk about.  Pass me
that bowl."

She handed it to me and I submerged it in the soapy water, washing it
and handing it to her to dry it off.  As she dried, she said, "You're
like a miracle to him, Walter."

I turned to look at her, pausing in my washing.  "He's like a miracle
to me, Sydney."

She swallowed hard.  "I know it can't be easy."

"Oddly enough, today was very easy.  I enjoyed myself and I'm not just
saying that.  I was fun to hang out and play softball.  It was fun to
chat with other fathers.  I don't have a lot of friends either,
Sydney."

She smiled softly.  "Guess we both have to work on that, huh?"

"Yeah.  By the way, Robert Coombs mentioned having us over for dinner
again.  He said he'd have Joyce call this weekend and set something
up.  I don't know if you had any plans, but I think we really should
go.  I don't want them to think we're putting them off.  And they seem
like really nice people.  I think they could be good friends if we
make a little effort."

"Me too.  Joyce has been very kind, taking care of Seth after school
every day.  She says it keeps Bobby out of her hair while she does
things she needs to do after work, but I know it's a sacrifice for
her.  She's never asked for any money."

"I could offer some."

"We probably should although I think she'd refuse it.  Maybe we should
just volunteer to have Bobby come here some of the time."

"Like an exchange?"

"Yeah."

"Sounds good.  I also hinted that maybe Seth could spend the night
over there tomorrow night if Joyce said it was all right."

Sydney smirked.  "Oh really.  What did you have in mind?" she asked
mischievously.

"There's a little matter of a blindfold I've yet to use," I whispered.

She blushed to the roots of her hair and turned her face down,
concentrating entirely too hard on drying the glass in her hand.  She
cleared her throat.

"I'd almost forgotten about that."

"I didn't."

She lifted her head and our eyes met.  "Damn, Sydney," I muttered as I
felt the familiar rush of arousal flow through my body.

"I'll talk to Joyce," she said and then we both laughed at our
eagerness for one another.




PART 8 (R ) MULDERS' HOUSE
FALLS CHURCH, VA
SATURDAY MORNING - 3:00 AM

Her water broke two hours ago.  We called Dr. Marin but figured we had
plenty of time.  The doctor advised that it could be hours.  When her
contractions were about six or seven minutes apart we were to head for
the hospital.

We were to call her when we left and she would meet us there.  It was
3:00 AM and I'd gone to make some chamomile tea for us.  I returned to
the bedroom to find the comforter on the floor and Scully on top of it
on all fours, breathing quickly and shallowly as we'd been taught.  I
quickly deposited the tea on the bedside table and fell to my knees
next to her head.  I was scared.  The baby was too early.  She should
have had another three weeks.

"Scully!  What's going on?"

"The baby's ... coming, ... Mulder."

"It can't be!" I cried stupidly.

"Yeah, well, it is.  Call Dr. Marin.  I don't think I can make it to
the hospital."

I leaped to my feet and snatched the phone off the bedside table and
dialed Dr. Marin at home.  The first question she asked was, "How far
apart are her contractions?"

"Scully, how far apart?"

"I don't know!  Not far!"

Dr. Marin heard her and chuckled.  [Time one, Mr. Mulder.]

Just then, Scully shouted, "Aaaaaahhhhhh, yyyoooowwwww!"

I glanced at my watch and two minutes later, she cried out again,
"Aaaaaahhhhhh, yyyoooowwwww!"

"Two minutes," I said into the phone.

I heard the doctor suck in a breath.  [Wow.  First babies don't
normally come this fast, but it does happen.  Look, I'm on my way
over.]

"Should I head for the hospital?  Call an ambulance.?"

[No, I wouldn't try to make the trip now.  I'll head over.  I'm going
to call a midwife I trust that lives in Falls Church, she's closer
than I am.  I'll send her too.  She should beat me there.]

"What do I do!"

[Get some towels, there'll be lots of blood.]

"Oh God!"

[Don't wimp out on me now, Mr. Mulder.  Your wife needs you.  I'll
bring disinfected tools and everything we need for an emergency birth.
I'll call an ambulance to stand by just in case.]

"O.K."

[Coach her with Lamaze, get a cool cloth for her forehead and every
clean towel in the house.]

"O.K."

[Bye, now.  Let me go so I can get over there.  Don't panic.  She'll
be fine!]

"Right!"  I hung up abruptly in her ear.

"Aaaaaahhhhhh, Yyyooowwww!"

I ran to do the doctor's bidding, returning with a cold cloth and an
armload of towels, which I dumped on the floor next to her.  I took
off again, to get a bowl of cold water to dip my wash cloth in.  I
soothed her and coached her breathing.

"Oh God!" she shrieked, a few minutes later.  "Get behind me, Mulder!"

"What?!" I shouted, feeling panic grip me in spite of myself.  But I
did as she bid.

I got behind her just in time to see a gush of blood emerge from her
vagina.  "Oh shit!"

"Aaaaaahhhhhh!"

I knelt down and quickly threw the soiled towels into the hamper which
I'd dragged over next to us.  I threw down the last of the towels and
said, "That's the end of the towels, Scully!"

"My friend gave me chucks pads, get the chucks pads," she shouted out.

I leaped to my feet and ran out of the room, reaching the hallway only
to ask myself out loud, "What the fuck is a chuck's pad?"

I shook my head and ran to the bathroom off the hall, pulling the
cupboards open.  I found a box of large Kotex maxi pads, some surgical
gloves and scooped up both boxes and ran back to the bedroom, falling
to my knees in front of her and proudly holding up the box.  "Is this
what you mean?"

Her face crumpled in exasperation.  But I could see the humor
twinkling in her eyes despite the pain.  "No, you moron!  The
veterinary chuck's pads.  They are ... in the master bath, ... under
the sink.  Big gauze pads, .... plastic underneath ... made to catch
blood ... during surgery."

I leapt up again, tossing the box of Kotex over my shoulder and
racing for the master bath.  I found the rolled up pads with an
elastic band around them and raced back to the bedroom,  skidding to a
halt and landing hard on my knees behind her. "Ouch!" I shouted.

She cried out again and soiled the rest of the towels which I scooped
up.  The bedspread was history, I though inanely, as I ripped the
elastic off the pads and they burst out of their confinement, spilling
all around me in a rain of gauze.  "Fuck!" I swore.

Scully started to laugh, "Oh hohohho, God!  don't make me laugh!"

I grabbed two of the pads and wedged them between her legs on top of
the comforter.  She spread her legs wider and said, "I can feel it,
Mulder!"

I saw her skin begin to bulge as the baby's head crowned and I
stupidly held my hands up, cupped together.   I looked down and
realized I didn't have gloves on.  I leaned over to grab the box of
surgical gloves and ripped it open, spraying them all over the carpet,
too.  I clumsily pulled one glove on each hand, shaking like a leaf.
"What now?!"

"Aaaaaaahhhhhh, Yyyooowwww!  Uggg, Uggg, Uggg!" she shrieked and
grunted as she pushed.

"The head's coming!" I shouted.

"I know, I can feel it!" she cried.  The unspoken, 'you idiot' left
unsaid.

I figured this must look like a scene out of the three stooges, only
this time there was only one stooge ... ME!

"Get ready, Mulder!  Aaaaaahhhhh, Yyyyoooowwwwww!  Ohhhhhhhh,
Ggggoooddd!"

A Herculean push and the baby's head emerged.  I placed a shaking hand
under the red glob of a head and she rocked on her knees and pushed
again.  I raised my other arm just in time, making a cradle of my
forearms as the baby shot out of her like a bullet.

Sllluuuurrrrpppp!

The baby slid quickly onto my arms, the bloody head against my stomach
and I gasped, "Holy Shit!"

My only thought at that moment was, 'Good catch!  And she's OUT!'

Scully was panting heavily and then muttered, "Oh God, Oh God.  Is it
breathing, Mulder?  IS IT BREATHING?!"

I snapped out of my frozen shock and gently laid the baby on an
unsoiled chuck's pad.  I took my finger and scooped the goop out of
its mouth.  It sucked in a breath and began to cry.

I saw Scully sag with relief and lay down on her side.  She was still
Bleeding and the umbilical cord was still attached.  She peered at me
through her sweat stained bangs and smiled.  "It's a lit ... tle girl,
Scully!"

I knee-walked up to her and carefully placed the baby next to her. She
rolled onto her back, cradling the baby next to her.  I jumped up and
ran to get a blanket.  I returned and wrapped the baby in the blanket.
She was still all covered with goo, when I heard the door bell.

I raced downstairs and opened the front door to a woman I didn't
recognize with a long, thick, blonde braid hanging to her waist.  She
was carrying a medical bag in one hand and a plastic jump kit in the
other.  Her eyes widened in shock as she saw me.

I peered down at myself for the first time and realized my tee shirt
was covered in blood, my hands were still swathed in bloody gloves.  I
must have looked like I'd committed a massacre.  I felt like it.

I grinned sheepishly and said, "Follow me."

"I'm Sarah, the midwife.  Dr. Marin called me."

"You're too late."

"I gather," she said with a hint of facetiousness.

We came into the bedroom and she stared at the mess.  There were
bloody towels hanging out of the hamper in the middle of the floor.
There were bloody towels on the carpet.  Soiled chucks pads, scattered
Kotex and surgical gloves littered the floor.

There was even blood sprayed on the nightstand and the wall next to
the bed as well as on the bed frame.  "Wheeewwwwww!" she whistled.

Then she shook her head, put on her professional face, and strode
purposefully to Scully.  She set her bags down and said to me, "Start
cleaning this mess up.  Get rid of the bloody towels.  Put them all in
the bathtub and run cold water on them and let them soak.  Gather up
the Kotex and surgical gloves that can be salvaged.  And change your
shirt and clean up.  In fact, take a shower.  I'm going to get your
wife breast feeding.  It will help with the delivery of the
afterbirth.   First, I'll cut the cord."

She gave me a stern look and I snapped to do her bidding, not knowing
what else to do and too stunned to be irritated at her military
bearing.

She moved between Scully's legs, opened her bag and removed some
clamps, proceeding to clip the umbilical cord, cut it and then rub
Scully's stomach to deliver the afterbirth into a handy plastic bag
container she had in her kit.

She removed a box of sterile alcohol wipes and began cleaning up the
blood.  She hollered to me.  "I have a sterile blanket here.
Help me roll your wife, so we can get rid of this comforter and put
this underneath her."

I was still mute as I carefully braced Scully's back and shoulders as
we rolled her and removed the comforter, first one side, then the
other.  The sterile blanket was spread beneath her after being removed
from the air tight plastic.  Scully settled in again and the midwife
snatched a pillow off the bed, removing the cover and placing what I
assumed was  a sterile cover on it.  She slid this under Scully's low
back and I heard her sigh with relief.

Finally she said, "Sorry, my name is Sarah.  I should have introduced
myself right off."

"No problem, I'm Dana."

"Hello, Dana."

"Hi!"

"Let me see the little one.  Let me clean her up and get her dressed
properly."

Scully nodded and seemed reluctant to let her go.  "I won't hurt her,"
Sarah said softly and smiled.

Scully nodded and loosened her grip.  the woman lifted the baby and
stood gracefully to her feet.  She picked up her plastic jump kit and
strode toward the bathroom.  She set up a basin on the floor and
opened a bottle of distilled water which she poured into the basin.
She opened a sponge package and carefully immersed the baby in the
water, wiping her gently to remove the blood and pieces of amniotic
sac that still clung to her skin.  The baby cried and fussed but did
not seem to be in any distress as I watched the proceedings.  I hadn't
showered and didn't intend to just yet, but I had pulled my shirt off
and washed my hands, arms and face and run wet fingers through my
hair.

She glanced up at me and raised an eyebrow as her eyes travelled up
and down my chest in a frank appraisal.  I actually felt myself blush
and turned away, muttered, "Uh, sorry."

I went quickly to the dresser and pulled out a clean tee shirt,
yanking
it over my head.  I went to Scully and knelt down beside her.  "Can I
get you anything?"

"Some Gatorade would be good.  I feel dehydrated."

I nodded and noticed at some point Sarah had wedged a Kotex between
Scully's legs.

Just then the doorbell rang again and I smiled at Scully.  "That will
be Dr. Marin."

"She missed all the excitement," Scully said.

I chuckled and said, "I'll let her in and get you that Gatorade."

I went downstairs and let Dr. Marin in.  She smiled and said, "How's
she doing?"

"All done."

"What?"

"She's all done.  Sarah's here."

"Sarah delivered?"

"No, I did," I said smugly, knowing the reality wasn't anything to be
proud of.  I'd never fainted with panic.

Her eyes widened and I said, "Upstairs, second door on the right.
Scully will fill you in.  I have to get her a drink."

She nodded and headed for the stairs, medical bag in hand.  She took
the stairs two at a time and I smiled and headed for the kitchen,
breathing a sigh of relief.

A baby girl.  We had a baby girl.  Jesus Christ.  It was a miracle.
Thank God it was over.  Scully's screams had done nothing for my
nerves and as I reached for the Gatorade in the fridge, I realized my
hands were still trembling slightly.  I poured her a large glass and
put ice in it and then poured a second.  I carried both upstairs,
taking a sip from one, realizing I was parched as well.

I could smell myself and decided a shower wasn't a bad idea after all.
I imagined Sarah had smelled the fear sweat on me as well.  I smiled
again when I remembered her checking out my chest.  It was good for my
ego, even though no one turned me on except Scully.

I returned to the bedroom to find Sarah stripping the sheets off the
bed and Scully nursing the baby.  The doctor had brought a little
cheese cloth hat that now graced the baby's head, and Scully must have
directed them to the little one piece jammies we'd brought, because
the baby was wearing a yellow one piece, fuzzy pajama outfit.  I could
see the bulging diaper below the pajamas.  Sarah said, "Where can I
find more sheets?"

"The linen closet in the bathroom," I said.

She left and emerged with clean sheets, making the bed.  Dr. Marin
placed a few stitches where Scully had torn, put antiseptic on it and
put a large Kotex in her panties and pulled them on.  I helped her
move Scully to the bed, where the baby resumed suckling.  I stared in
awe as I sat on the edge of the bed.

We shared a moment of triumph as we looked into each other's eyes and
I lowered my head to kiss her softly on the lips.  I whispered, "I
love you so much, Scully."

She smiled, "Love you too, Mulder.  Isn't she beautiful?"

I stared at the tiny human being clinging to her breast and felt my
chest get tight.  "She's perfect, Scully.  Just perfect."

I glanced over to see Dr. Marin and Sarah smiling at us.  "You really
should go to the hospital for blood tests on the baby," Dr. Marin
said.

Scully shook her head.  "I'll do it myself in a couple of days."

"I'd advise against it."

"I know, but I'll do it myself anyway."

She rolled her eyes at Sarah and said, "You can't tell a doctor
anything."

"You're a doctor, Mrs. Mulder?"

"Yes."

"I didn't know."

Dr. Marin added.  "These two are also FBI agents.  Mr. Mulder here is
a doctor too.

"You are?" she asked incredulously.  She was probably remembering my
state of dishevel when I opened the door.

"Of psychology," I added quickly.

"Oh, that makes sense," she joked.

We all chuckled.  "I must have looked quite a sight when I answered
the door, huh?" I asked.

"You looked like you slaughtered a pig," she said, trying to suppress
her laughter.

Dr. Marin laughed outright.  "I think we can forgive him.  It's the
first time he delivered a baby."

"You did wonderful," Scully added.

I beamed at her.  "At least I caught her.  Good thing I didn't miss. I
had no idea they came out that fast."

Dr. Marin laughed again.  "Well now that you're settled. We'll get
going.  Come by and see me in a week, Dana.  Just a routine follow up
and so I can check those stitches."

"You got it."

They gathered up their kits and Sarah preceded her into the hall
saying, "We'll show ourselves out," as I stood up.

I sat back down and Dr. Marin stopped in the doorway and turned to us.
"No sex for at least a month, you two."

I opened my mouth to tell her I wasn't that stupid and she winked.  I
could hear her laughter as she walked down the hall.

Scully beamed a toothy smile at me and said, "I think she knows us too
well.  What do you think?"

I laughed and said, "I guess so.  God, I've never been this happy,
Scully."

"Me neither.  What are we going to name her?"

"A birth certificate!" I exclaimed.

Scully pointed to the nightstand and said, "Dr. Marin left one there,
all filled out except the name.  We'll fill it in and file it with
City Hall during the week."

I sighed.  "As we decided?" I asked, getting back to her original
question.

"Yeah.  Colleen Melissa?"

"Sounds good to me."  I leaned down to wipe my finger gently on the
baby's cheek.  "I love you, Colleen Melissa Mulder," I whispered.

Scully's eyes were wet with unshed tears and she whispered back, "We
did it, Mulder."

"You did it, Scully.  God you were so brave."

"I was petrified."

"It didn't show."

We smiled at each other and I stood and stripped my clothes off.  It
was 7:00 AM.  I couldn't believe five hours had gone by since she
broke her water.  I was exhausted so I couldn't imagine how tired she
was.

The baby had fallen asleep and I gently lifted her and put her in the
bassinet, propped by fluffy soft pillows.  I pulled it next to the
bed, stripped my clothes off and said, "I'm going to shower.  Then
I'll crawl in.  Let's sleep for a while."

Scully nodded, her eyelids drooping.  "I'm so tired."

"Sleep baby," I murmured, as I kissed her cheek.  Then I headed for
the shower.




PART 9 (NC-17)
WALTER SKINNER'S TOWNHOUSE
ARLINGTON, VA
SATURDAY EVENING - 4:00 PM

We sat on the couch with my body curled into his side.  My head rested
leisurely on his bare chest.  He wore boxers and shorts and that was
it.  I was in panties and a tee shirt.

He looked down at me and kissed the top of my head. "I want to set a
date to get married, Sydney."

I stiffened and lifted away from his chest.  "What?"

"You heard me. I want to set a date and put a ring on your finger ...
a big rock you can wear to announce to the whole world that you're
taken."

I chuckled.  "Are we in a rush?" I asked, feeling a ripple of
excitement steal through me despite my attempts not to expect too
much.

"Yes, I am."

"Why?"

"Couple of reasons."

"Want to share them with me?"

He grinned.  "One, I'm totally, madly in love with you."

"Good reason."

"Two, you're totally, madly in love with me," he said cheekily.

I laughed.  "Pretty sure of yourself, are you?"

"Yup!" he said without remorse.  "And I want to adopt Seth."

The air whooshed out of my lungs.  "Walter?"

His face was serious when he turned to me.  "I want to marry you
anyway.  Why wait?  And it will be easier to adopt Seth if we're
married."

I swallowed and said, "Are you sure you want to do that, Walter?"

"You don't want me to?" he asked, looking a little hurt.

"No!  I mean yes, I want you to.  I just don't want you to do
something you're going to regret.  It's only been six months, Walter."

"Long enough for me to know what I want.  I love you, Sydney.  And I
love that kid.  I want to be his father.  I want him to tell people
his name is Seth Skinner.  He needs the identity.  And so do you."

I frowned.  "I'm all right.  Don't do this just because you think I
need it."

"I'm not. I'm doing it because I need it."

"Explain that."

"I need you, Sydney.  I need a family.  I want a family.  I didn't
think I could ever have one until you came along.  I wasn't sure I
could ever love anyone ever again after Sharon."  He paused and licked
his lips.  "But what I felt for Sharon is a shadow of what I feel for
you.  I never knew being a parent could be so fulfilling, could make
me feel so ... worthwhile.  I want this for us.  But I want to be able
to call you my wife too.  *I* want it.  Call me Neanderthal, call me
old fashioned ... but I want to stake my claim."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Are you sure?"  His stare was unnerving.

"I'm sure," I said quietly.  "I'm scared, Walter.  I can't deny that.
But this is what I want.  I want and need to be with you.  I've had a
taste of a normal life now and I couldn't back to the streets.  I
couldn't do it ... not anymore."  I paused. "Never again."

He was silent a moment and then said.  "Sydney, I'm 22 years older
than you."

"So?"

"That doesn't bother you?  I'm old enough to be your father?"

"No.  You're a man, that's all.  A handsome, caring, loving man.  I
don't care how old you are."

"I'll be an old man when you're in the prime of your life."

"All we have is now, Walter.  You know that."

She smiled sadly and then the corner of his mouth trembled.  "I'm
afraid some young man is going to come along and take you away from
me."

I laughed but when I saw his expression didn't change, I swallowed my
humor.  "Oh, Walter!"

I leaned in and put my arms around his neck, straddling his lap.  "No
immature, young buck holds any interest for me."

"How do you know, Sydney?  You've never had a relationship with a
normal guy your own age."

"No, but I have a wonderful relationship with you, Walter.  Better
than any I've ever had in my life and I'm not giving it up.  Not
without a fight."

His hands came up to cup my face then and he slowly tugged me down to
meet his lips.  He kissed me tenderly, his tongue rolling around my
lips and then teasing my tongue out of my mouth.  I felt myself gush
with arousal and moaned softly into his mouth as he turned his head
and deepened the kiss.  He lifted just enough to speak.  "I can't
believe what you do to me, Sydney.  I love you so much ... and I want
you all the time."

I smiled and put my lips to his ear.  "You make me so hot, Walter."

He groaned and flexed his hips up, pushing his erection into my
crotch.  I ground against him and he threw his head back, "Oh God,
Let's go upstairs."

"We didn't finish our conversation."

"After?" he coaxed.

"Nope. Now."

"O.K."  He took a couple of deep breaths and said.  "Question One:
Will you marry me?"

I surprised myself by the lack of hesitation.  It was almost like I
had protested out of habit.  There were no reasons not to.  I knew I
loved him and I now believed he loved me.  I believed he and Seth
would grow to love one another as well.  "Yes," I said softly.

"Oh!" he said softly.  "Sydney," he breathed out my name and pulled me
in for another kiss.

He broke this one short.  "Question Two:  Do you want me to adopt
Seth?  By the way, it would also protect him from Jimmy."

I hadn't thought of that angle but he was right.  If Seth was living
in a stable household with two married parents, there would be less
chance of Jimmy being able to take him away based on my lifestyle of
the past, or even my present situation, living out of wedlock.  That
was normal these days, but he wasn't above using whatever tactics he
could.  I just hear him now comparing his stable home with his new
wife to mine with my unmarried lover.

I nodded. "Let's do it, Walter.  Let's do it all."

He stood up abruptly and I wrapped my legs around his waist.  Seth had
gone to Bobby's and was going to spend the night so we had the entire
evening to ourselves.  He carried me upstairs and set me gently on the
bed.

He walked to the dresser and opened the top drawer, extracting a small
lock box.  A key appeared from his jewelry box where he kept his watch
and cuff links and he unlocked it.  I gasped as I saw a black velvet
box appear in his hand.

He strode to the bed and sat down on the edge, hitching one leg up
onto the mattress and facing me.  "Now, I'll do this right, now that I
know you won't tell me go take a flying leap."

I gasped, not knowing what to say and was on the verge of tears.  He
slowly opened the velvet box as it faced me.

I gasped as I took in the sight of the ring.  It was a thick gold band
with a marquis diamond that had to be three carats perched on top. Two
smaller diamonds, maybe a carat each, round, were on either side of
the big one.  "Walter!" I exclaimed, my hand coming up to cover my
mouth in astonishment.

The tears came like a waterfall. I couldn't hold them back.  No one
had ever bought me such an extravagant gift.  It must have cost a
fortune.  "Will you marry me, Sydney?"

"Yes!  Oh God, Walter, it's too much!"

He smiled, shook his head and popped the ring out of the foam bed and
dropped the box on the bed. "Never too much," he murmured.

He tugged my left wrist toward him and slowly slid the ring on my
finger.  My hand curled into a fist as I stared at the rock on my
finger.  I couldn't believe it.  We'd just talked about it but I still
couldn't believe it.  He really wanted to marry me.  I guess until
that moment, it was just words.  That ring made it so real.

He set the box on the nightstand and then gathered me into his arms,
lying next to me on the bed.  "Shhh, I love you so much, Sydney.  I'm
gonna marry you and we're going to be happy.  I just know it."

"I'm happy now," I squeaked out.

"Me too, baby.  Me too.  I'll be even happier when I have you
blindfolded and tied to this bed," he whispered.

"You!"  I slapped his shoulder in mock indignation.

He chuckled and reached out to open the top drawer on the night stand.
He removed the blindfold and placed it gently over my eyes, carefully
putting the elastic behind my head and hooking it behind my ears to
anchor it.

My breathing sped up instantly.  He got off the bed and said, "Don't
move," in a commanding tone of voice.

I froze, not that I had intended on going anywhere blind anyway.  I
heard him switch the lights off and then click the lamp on the
nightstand on.

He sat on the bed again, sitting me up and pulling my tee shirt over
my head, careful not to dislodge the blindfold.  I laid back down and
he yanked my panties off.  He stood again and left me wondering until
he returned shortly and I felt the fur lined cuffs around my wrists.
He pulled my arms up firmly but gently and I listened to the sound of
him securing the chords to the head board.  I tugged experimentally. I
could bend my elbows but I was tied firmly.

He blew a stream of cold breath on first one nipple, then the other,
making them pucker up.  I moaned softly.  I was surprised when I felt
his hands on my ankles.  He'd never tied my legs before.

I gasped as he tugged my leg toward the side of the bed and I felt a
furry cuff go around my ankle.  I didn't even know he owned ankle
cuffs and wondered if he'd borrowed them from Mulder and Scully.  My
heartbeat accelerated as I felt the inevitable moment of panic at
being so restrained and at anyone's mercy.

In my head, I chanted, 'I have to trust him, I have to trust him.'  I
didn't realize I must have said it out loud at least once because he
was suddenly straddling me and his lips were near my ears.  "Yes,
baby.  You have to trust me.  I love you, remember?"

I nodded.  "What do you want to use for a safe word?"

"I don't know!"  My mind was drawing a blank.

He stroked my shoulders gently and I calmed, taking a deep breath.
"I'd never harm you, baby.  I promise."

I took another deep breath and said, "FBI."

He chuckled.  "All right, FBI it is."  He seemed unreasonably amused
but didn't care to explain and I couldn't bring myself to ask at that
moment because he was lightly pinching both my nipples and they began
to throb with the stimulation.  "Ahhhh!" I cried out.

He rolled them gently but then pinched sharply and I cried out as I
felt a bolt of sensation travel from my breasts to my clitoris.  You'd
think there was a direct link between them.

I felt myself get wetter as he suckled one then the other into his
mouth, nipping gently and making me squirm.  He got off the bed and I
heard something drop on the floor.

"What's that?"

"You'll see, just some things to help out tonight."

"Uh oh."

"Hmmm, should I have a pet name for you, Sydney."

"Like the Mulders do?"

"Yeah," he confirmed.

"I don't know, you want one?"

"I think I do."

"Any ideas?" I asked, trying to sound casual and unruffled even though
the anticipation was killing me."

"You know I'm a pervert, right?" he asked casually.

I laughed at that, all the remaining tension flowing out of me. "Yeah,
I guess so."

I heard the rustle of his shorts and knew he was stripping naked.  I
could smell him and it made a lassitude spread over me.  I inhaled
deeply, trying to catch more of his scent.

I felt the bed dip as he climbed on and straddled my legs.  "Do you
have any idea what it does to me that you're so petite and skinny?" he
asked, his voice roughened by arousal.

I felt his bare erection brush the inside of my thigh and I jerked in
my bindings, reminded that I had nowhere to go.  "I guess so," I
breathed out.

He breathed his hot breath over my nipple and blew a stream of cold
air through pursed lips over it. I cried out, "Oh yeah!"

"It makes me crazy.  You know what makes me even crazier?"

"Wh ... what?" I stuttered.

"That except for your boobs, you could be an adolescent girl.  Your
tummy is so flat that your hip bones stick out.  I can feel all your
ribs, even though I can't see them anymore.  Your waist is so tiny and
you barely have any hips at all."

I began to pant.  "I've always hated that I was underdeveloped," I
whined.

"I loovvee that you're underdeveloped as you call it."

My voice vibrated as I asked, "Is this leading somewhere?"

"Mmmmn, hmmm, remember that perversion I mentioned?"

"Yeah?" I asked, my voice sounding breathy and pathetic as he stroked
the inside of my thighs, his hands hot as a brand on my tender skin.

"Well ... I've always had this fantasy ..." he began.

"Another one?" I asked, sounding amused.

He chuckled. "I've got lots of them, but this one recurs all the
time."

"What's ... that?"

"I like feeling like a giant, dirty old man.  I've always fantasized
about ravishing this barely pubescent girl, taking her virginity,
using her for my pleasure like my own little fuck toy.  I'd never do
it, of course. But God, Syd, with this wisp of fleece on your mons,
and your narrow hips and skinny body, you could be my young girl for
me."

"Your little girl?" I squeaked.

"Yeah.  I could call you, Sweatheart."

"What should I call you?"

He was silent as I felt the tip of what must be a feather begin to
tease the sides of my breasts.  I squirmed as it tickled but felt my
nipples rise up even tighter.  He flicked it across one, then the
other and I cried out, "Ohhh, God!"

"I don't know," he said softly, as he continued to tease.  "What would
you like to call me?"

"Sir?"

"Too much like work, I think.  I just got Seth to stop calling me
that.  Don't you start now," he said teasingly.

His fingers came down to tease my clit in small circles around it.  It
was throbbing and begging for attention.  He patted the small amount
of trimmed hair on my mons.  It was sparse and I liked it that way. It
was more comfortable and I trimmed any stray hairs.

"Oh please!" I whimpered.

"Please what?"  His finger separated the wet folds between my legs and
poked at the entrance but didn't enter.

"Please put it in me!"

"Put what in you, Sweeettheearrt?"  he drew out the new pet name,
testing it on his tongue.

I shivered, "Your finger!" I gasped.

He pushed inside just one knuckle deep and wiggled it around.  "Oh
please!"

"Tell me, Sweetheart!  Tell me!"

I was sinking into the game he was creating.  My body's desires
overriding my good sense.

"Ohhhh, yeah!  Come on!" I begged.

"Come on, what?  Tell me, Sweetheart!" he coaxed.

Without thinking, I shrieked as he pinched my nipple, his thumb coming
down on my clit.  "Fuck me, Master!"

I heard him gasp and then groan out, "Oh FUCK!"

He began pumping his finger inside me, letting a second one join the
first.  This thumb plied my clit and I felt the feather again which he
must have been manipulating with his free hand.  I tried to lift my
knees.  They raised a couple of inches but then met the resistance of
my bonds and I twisted from side to side trying to get more contact
with his hand.

"You like that, Sweetheart?"

"Oh yes!"

"Oh yes, what?" he asked, sounding stern again and I felt a shiver
rake down my spine.

"Oh yes, Master!"

He groaned again and then I felt the bed dip.  All stimulation stopped
as I listened to him fumble in the bag on the floor.  I heard the top
of a tube pop open and wondered what he was doing.

One hand slid down my thigh and pushed my leg wide, coming to rest in
my groin.  He suddenly slapped my clit hard.  Whack, whack, whack,
whack!

"Oh no!" I cried out, feeling my clit buzz and swell under the slight
stinging abuse.

"Do you need to use your safe word?" he asked suddenly and my mind
jolted out of it's fog.

"No!"

"No?" he asked, sounding irritated.

"No, Master!" I remembered.

His thighs were holding mine open as he knelt there and I felt him
shudder at the sound of his new play name.

In a sick way this appealed to me too.  I'd never gotten love and
affection from my father and although this isn't the type of love and
affection I craved, it did fill some sort of twisted craving for me.
Walter was like a father figure.  He was so much more, but he had
rescued me from the streets, taken me and my son in and loved me to
within an inch of my life.  He put a roof over my head, food on the
table and made me feel like no man had ever made me feel; safe,
protected, special.

I knew I should probably be repelled by this sudden revealing of his
fantasy, but I had an unusual sense of calm steal over me as I
realized how aroused he was by it and how loved it made me feel that i
could fulfill this desire for him.  Walter was my substitute.  He was
my father, brother, lover, protector.  Lots of people were into age
play and there was no harm in it as long as it never spilled over into
the real thing.  I knew Walter would never harm me, let alone a child.

I relaxed in my bonds and he said, "What's your safe word?"

"Why?"

"Tell me your safe word."

"FBI."

"Good.  Do you want to use it?"

"No, Master!"

"Yeah, Sweetheart.  Master's going to make you feel so good."

I felt the cool press of plastic against my anus and tensed.  "Oh!"

"Relax, Sweetheart."

I consciously relaxed from the waist down, letting my legs flop open
as much as the bindings would allow.  He carefully worked a small
dildo into my ass. It was widened at the base to hold it in place.
Once embedded he left it there and began running his hands all over my
body from head to toe, kissing a trail behind his fingers.

Oh God, it felt big.  With my legs spread wide and tied, it pressed my
cheeks together, creating more pressure around it.

I squirmed and moaned as he made all my nerve endings come alive.  He
slid his hands under my ass and squeezed hard.  I yelped and he
chuckled.

Finally he positioned himself over me.  He suckled my nipple hard as
he lined himself up with my entrance.  "Oh sweetheart, Master's gonna
split you wide open baby.  Tell me how much you want it."

"No, Master!" I yelled.

He growled, "I'm gonna fuck you Sweetheart, whether you want it or
not!"  He was really getting into this game now and I felt myself
sinking with him.  My need to be taken and led was kicking in full
gear and I moaned in mock fear at his pronouncement.

He suddenly stopped and got off the bed.  I cried out, "Don't leave me
here, Master!"

"I'll be right back, Sweetheart."  He was only gone a minute and when
he reemerged and I felt the bed dip again, I heard the hiss of a spray
can and then she was spreading something on my mons and between my
legs.

"Oh God, what are you doing?"

He chuckled, an evil sound.  "Stay still now, wouldn't want to cut
you."

I gasped as I heard something clink on the side of a bowl or something
glass.  Then I felt the steady stroke of a cold razor on my mons.  Oh
Jesus.  He was shaving me bald.  My legs trembled, but otherwise I
stayed perfectly still as the razor rasped over my tender skin.  He
held my skin this way and that, making a smooth surface to shave.  He
flattened my lips and shaved those as well.  His hand continually
brushed the skin to test for stubble and I found myself whimpering
with
excitement.  I felt a towel wipe me clean and then he left the
bed, I assumed putting his tools away.

He returned and knelt between my legs.  I felt his breath on my twat
and hoped he would go down on me.  Instead he inhaled noisily and
brushed his fingers over my newly bald crotch as though fascinated.  I
could hear him breathing heavily.

"Now you really look like a young girl," he whispered.  "I love a
shaved pussy." I whimpered. "Oh, pretty girl.  MMM, no pubic hair."

"No, Master."

He shifted above me and his hand went between my legs.  He spread my
nether lips with his fingers and began pressing his hard tool inside.
I felt my pussy stretching wider and wider as he forced more of his
cock head up my straining pussy.  The head popped inside and I
screamed, "Oh it hurts, Master!"

I purposely clenched all my muscles down on him and he groaned loudly.

"Jesus, Sweetheart!  You're wet for me.  I want IN your greedy little
pussy!"  He rocked back and forth with just the head inside as I
repeatedly clamped my muscles down on him, trying to seem as tight as
possible.  "I'm gonna punch it in, Sweetheart!"

"Don't punch it in, Master!  It's too big!"

He groaned again.  "Quit fighting!" he shouted, but I knew he didn't
mean it.  That was part of the game.  He wanted me to fight.  He
wanted to subdue me and God help me. I wanted him to do it.

His hips pulled back and he slammed into me, burying his enormous cock
inside me.  I screamed as the muscles protested at the sudden
invasion, a streak of pain shooting into my womb as he slammed into my
cervix.  I wasn't faking that time.  I hadn't had time to let my
muscles relax.

He began to pump in and out.  There was no build up.  He was thrusting
fast and hard right away.  It felt like I was splitting apart and
still he spread me further as he pushed my knees into the bed with the
weight of his thighs and thrust up into me, scraping the bottom of my
clit with every stroke.  I felt the muscles contract on the dildo in
my ass as he tweaked my clit with every stroke.  Another gush of hot
warmth spread between my legs as the pain abated and nothing but
pleasure took its place.

He grunted every time he shoved his cock inside.  It felt like a red
hot poker impaling me.  I swore if I could look down, i would see it
lifting the skin of my stomach.  That's how stuffed full I felt.

He began to mutter, "Oh yeah, take Master's monster cock.  Take all of
it.  Oh, looks so good, tearing up your little bald crotch.  Oh yeah,
take all of Master's cock.  Take it all, Sweetheart. My big prick has
made you all hot and wet.  Oh, Master's gonna make you come."

"Nooooo!" I screamed, struggling in my bonds and feeling my arousal
fly off the charts.

XXXXXXXXXX

Hearing her scream as the whole of my cock head went into her pussy
made me even harder if that was at all possible.

I felt myself begin to tremble as she fell into the game with me,
calling me Master and resisting my onslaught.  It was a fantasy come
true.  In that moment, she was a young teen girl and I was going to
fuck her within an inch of her life.

I pulled my hips back and steadied her with a hand on her waist.  I
hitched up on my knees for power and slammed myself forward, diving
into her virgin-like, tiny cunt.  I felt the skin give way, my cock
beating at her tender flesh as I began to pump viciously into her
narrow cunt pipe.

She was tight anyway, but the one inch wide, six inch long dildo in
her ass made her even tighter.  I hadn't dared use anything wider, but
now wondered how big I could get away with.  She could take my cock in
her ass, but how big a dildo could she take along with my pecker?

I shook my head and concentrated on the ravishing of my young girl.

I began to talk to her in a low, tortured voice.  "Oh yeah, take
Master's monster cock.  Take all of it.  Oh, looks so good, tearing up
your little bald crotch.  Oh yeah, take all of Master's cock.  Take it
all, Sweetheart. My big prick has made you all wet.  Oh, Master's
gonna make you come."

"Nooooo!" she screamed, struggling in her bonds.  I easily subdued her
thrashing and it made me feel so powerful, so big.

She was screaming, "Ahhhh, ahhhh, ahhhhh, no, Master, no!" Every
plunge into her constricting tunnel brought a sound from the back of
her throat.

My head began to swim with euphoric pleasure.  I shifted my thighs and
pressed her knees down into the bed, making the angle even tighter and
thrust up into her.

She shrieked again and I felt her clamp down on my rigid cock.  Hot
warmth surrounded my cock and I realized she was nearing orgasm.  That
excited me even more and I began to pump harder, my ass rising and
falling with every stroke that bounced her bound body on the mattress.
My hands gripped her hips tightly and I leaned in to grasp her nipple
with my lips and suck harder and harder until she cried out.  I bit
down and she screamed.

I kept sinking into her ravished little pussy, punching deep into her
guts.  I felt my legs tingle and my balls tighten.  She looked so
helpless splayed out like she was, bound hands and feet, blindfolded.

She was every adolescent girl quasi-rape fantasy I'd ever had.  The
whole picture slammed into me as I raised my head from her breast and
looked down on her, taking my weight on my hands that were steadied
against her slender hips.

As I speared her tiny twat with my rod, I found myself suddenly
exploding with my orgasm.  It was so extremely intense the way I was
drilling her as she lay there totally helpless.

"Oh God, Master, you're making me come!" she screamed as I emptied the
full load of my balls up her spasming little cunt.

It was not a night I would soon forget.  Later I would realize it was
the beginning of a very special relationship in role playing that
would bring me more sexual satisfaction than I had ever dreamed of.

xxxxxxx

OUR LADY OF HOPE CHURCH
ARLINGTON, VA
ONE MONTH LATER

Despite my bravado, I'd been worried about Jimmy Cole.  It could still
happen, but so far he had blessedly been silent.  No more calls from
lawyers had been forthcoming.  I hoped with all my heart that my
spewing of Jimmy's transgressions had prompted his lawyer to tell him
to go home to his wife and forget about Seth because he didn't have a
case.

I did a background check on Sydney just to see what would come up
should someone else do one.  On a regular police profile background
check, there was nothing.  On the FBIs database, there was one arrest
for solicitation, but she'd been released for lack of evidence.  Most
people didn't have access to the FBI's database so the chances were
slim that would ever show up on a normal background check.

Breath whooshed out of my lungs as I saw her appear in the doorway at
the back of the church.  She was a vision in white silk and taffeta.
Scully and my secretary, Kimberly preceded her down the aisle.  I
smiled at the vision of three redheads trailing down the aisle.  They
could have been sisters, especially Sydney and Scully.  There were a
few in the audience that probably wondered if she was really Scully's
cousin, and others who believed for sure that she was.  Despite the
rumors, the similarities in their looks could not be denied.

Kersch had called me in the carpet the day after I punched Jimmy Cole
on the steps of the Hoover Building and broke his nose.  He'd been
upset by my behavior but surprisingly, he didn't use his power against
me.  He could have had me sanctioned for 'behavior unbecoming an
agent' and a number of other things.  I had decided to be honest with
him, to a point.  I didn't divulge Sydney's background, I would never
do that.  But I did tell him that Jimmy Cole called my girlfriend a
'whore' and I'd snapped.

Kersch thought it was the expression one meant when a woman was
promiscuous, not that he'd meant it literally and I didn't disabuse
him of the notion.  He did ask me why he would say a thing like that.
I simply said that he was Sydney's ex-boyfriend and he had run out on
her when she got pregnant and now was bitter because she had someone
else, rejected him and wasn't exactly welcoming him back with open
arms.

He accepted my explanation.  I ended the conversation as he sat
quietly, deciding what to do with me.  His wife's name was Carrie.  I
asked him, "What would you do if some raving ex-boyfriend came up to
you and called Carrie a whore?"

I knew, despite his other failings that he was crazy about his wife.
His face had dropped, then his top lip curled up into a sneer of pure
rage.  Just the suggestion had his blood boiling and he nodded at me,
understanding at last.  He'd said, "Get out of here.  If anyone asks,
I docked your pay for a week for punishment.  If no one asks, don't
volunteer any information.  A lot of people saw that and they'll
expect me to mete out some punishment.

"What if I take a week off?" I suggested.  "It will look like you
suspended me for a week, but I'll actually just use my vacation time.
I have about five weeks stored up."

He smiled then.  "Good idea.  And if you have five weeks stored up,
then you're due for some time off anyway."

The following week, after proposing to Sydney, I'd told him we were
going to be married in a month.  He'd told me to take the rest of my
vacation time and enjoy my new bride.  It was the first time Kersch
and I had agreed on anything in a long time.  There seemed to be a new
relationship forming.  He showed me more respect and went out of his
way to say hello now when we crossed paths.

We would always have ideological differences, but hopefully we would
be able to work together better than we had in the past instead of
being so much at odds.

I shook my head to clear it of all thoughts except those pertaining to
the moment and smiled widely as I watched my bride being led down the
aisle.

I'd secretly sent a letter to her parents with an invitation to the
wedding.  I'd explained that she was living with me and we were making
a home for Seth, the grandson they had never known.  I begged them to
put aside their differences and attend the wedding.  I nearly begged
her father to come and give her away.

I hadn't really expected a response, but one week later, a telegram
arrived at the Bureau, telling me that they would attend.  One week
ago, they'd arrived.  I'd finally gotten to meet Ethel and Joe
O'Halloran.

There had been a tearful reunion and boatloads of apologies.  They'd
both been tearful and fascinated with Seth.  He'd reveled in the
attention.  His new grandparents had taken him to the zoo and the
movies and miniature golf over the next week.  It was a whole new
world
for Seth.  Scully had sublet out her apartment when Mulder and she
moved to Falls Church.  Currently without a tenant, she offered her
apartment.  Sydney's parents were going to take care of Seth while we
went on our honeymoon to Hawaii.  Everything was falling into place
and I'd never seen Sydney so happy.

She couldn't believe I'd written to her parents.  There was more road
to cover, hurts that needed to be mended.  However, she was on the
path to reconciling with her parents.

When the Reverend Samuels asked "Who gives this woman to be married?"
Mr. O'Halloran and Sydney had both beamed full wattage smiles as her
father said loudly and crisply, "Her mother and I do."

I'd seen Sydney's eyes pool with tears as her father bent over and
gave her a peck on the cheek before seating himself in the front row.

The ceremony went off without a hitch.  Mulder was my best man, and
Agent Doggett was an usher.  The audience was full of FBI brass and
most of the agents that worked under me.  Both my parents were dead
some years now.  I was enjoying having Sydney's parents there, too.
They had wished we were being married in a Catholic church, but I'd
explained that I was raised Protestant and Sydney had never practiced
Catholicism.  They'd not made a stink.  I knew it bothered them, but
they were trying to keep the peace and not start the old arguments.  I
had to give them credit.

Now though, as I looked at their smiling faces as Sydney and I
exchanged vows, I don't think they cared which church they were
sitting in.  They were genuinely happy that Sydney was settling down,
and they were thrilled to have a grandson.

Scully had impressed them as well, as only Scully can do.  Sydney had
introduced her as her best friend and the O'Hallorans had obviously
been impressed that their little girl was friends with a doctor and
FBI agent.

Truth be told, I think they were astonished that I was an Assistant
Director.  Like most parents with a wayward child, they had lived in
fear of hearing the worst ... that she'd been found dead in a gutter
someplace.  To find that she was living in Arlington, marrying an FBI
Assistant Director and raising a child was amazing to them.  I think
they regretted all they had missed.  Neither of us told them how
recent all these developments were.  What they didn't know wouldn't
hurt them.

I'd kissed my bride and we'd traveled to the AquaTurf, a fancy
restaurant with a ballroom, where the reception went into full swing
and we'd partied for hours.  Finally, it was over and I was driving
home.  We were spending the night at home and traveling to Hawaii in
the morning.

I'd gone shopping last week and bought some toys and supplies to bring
with us to Hawaii.  I planned to spend two weeks barely letting her
leave the bedroom.  It was the perfect time, with no interruptions to
develop our new relationship in the bedroom. I quivered with
anticipation and excitement every time I thought of it.

XXXXXXXXXX
WALTER & SYDNEY SKINNER'S APARTMENT
ARLINGTON, VA
Later that Evening

It had been a busy month, but it had all been worthwhile.

I was glad we were waiting a day to go away.  I was exhilarated but
exhausted from the day as we arrived home.  We stripped and washed up
in the bathroom, Sydney removing her makeup and carefully hanging her
wedding dress in a garment bag in the closet.

I didn't want to be kinky tonight.  I had two weeks for that coming
up.  Tonight I wanted to love my wife.  I couldn't believe I was
married again.  It felt so different this time.  I'd been nervous the
first time too, but more with trepidation and wondering what to do
next.  Inexperienced and eager to please, I'd made a lot of mistakes.
Then I'd become obsessed with my career and left Sharon home way too
many nights alone.

I'd vowed that I wasn't going to make the same mistakes again.  I
might make new ones, but I wouldn't repeat the old ones.




PART 10 (NC-17)
WALTER & SYDNEY SKINNER'S APARTMENT
ARLINGTON, VA
LATER THAT EVENING

I knelt on the edge of the bed as he approached me.  His sex was thick
and pulsing against his thigh, not yet fully erect.  I planned on
changing that.

He stood before me and cupped my face in his hands.  He leaned in to
gently kiss me.  I wrapped my arms around his flanks and pulled him
into me.

He grunted in amused surprise and deepened the kiss.  In between
kisses, we both wore goofy grins we couldn't seem to wipe off our
faces.  I whispered as I pressed my breasts teasingly against his bare
chest.  "What do you want to do tonight?"

I nuzzled my neck and said, "Make love to my wife."

I shivered at this simple pronouncement, realizing that I was now Mrs.
Skinner.  I mean, I knew it, but it hadn't really sunk in yet, that I
had a new last name.  I still was a little disoriented from the fast
and furious changes in my life.  I still had moments of wondering if I
was going to suddenly wake up in my old grimy apartment with the
boards on the windows and dirty dishes in the sink.  But I didn't.
Every morning I woke up with this huge mountain of flesh wrapped
securely around my body, warming me from the depths of my soul with
his love and his passion.

Seth was blossoming under Walter's tutelage.  The male influence was
definitely beginning to show, but not in a bad way.  Seth was more
confident and seemed more at peace and less in turmoil.  He was
excited about having new grandparents.  I worried about leaving him
with my folks.  I didn't want them filling his head with weird ideas
about right and wrong.  I knew my parents were good people but I
didn't want them contradicting me and Walter and confusing Seth.

Scully had promised to stop by at least every other day and check in
on him.  Seth adored Scully as well and called her Aunty Dana now.
Knowing she would be there to arbitrate any anxiety he picked up from
my parents was a relief to me.  I had to just enjoy the next two weeks
and know that Seth was in good hands.

Walter pushed me gently back on the bed onto my back. He kissed his
way down my neck, over my collar bones and down between my breasts.
His mouth suckled gently on my nipples, making them tingle and ache as
my juncture flooded with moisture.  I was becoming used to how easily
I got excited with Walter.  One touch on my naked flesh and I began to
hum with excitement.

I loved our new role playing as much as he did, but I liked this too.
Seemed he was in the mood to be gentle and slow tonight.  That was all
right by me.  I was too exhausted to be elaborate.  But I was more
content than I ever had been in my entire life.  I had a husband!  A
big, beautiful, sexy husband!  I still couldn't believe it.

His tongue had reached my stomach and was teasing my navel.  "Oh,
Walter ..." I sighed as he swirled his tongue in the small indentation
of my belly button.  His large hands cupped my hips.  I'd always hated
my slender, boyish hips and bemoaned as a teenager that I didn't have
a more 'womanly' shape.  Seemed they were serving me well now.  Walter
loved my body.  I thought he was crazy, but I loved him for it just
the same.

My swirling thoughts came to an abrupt halt has his mouth settled over
my crotch, my legs sliding over his shoulders, heels pressing into his
shoulder blades.

He moaned, "Awwww, Sydney," as lapped at my wetness that as forming on
my nether lips.  His tongue snaked inside and I bucked helplessly into
his mouth.  His arms wrapped around my thighs, pulling my legs wide
apart and tipping my pelvis up.  I was wide open to him.  I'd hated
feeling this exposed in the past, but with Walter, I felt safe and
cherished.  He made me feel so sexy.

He continued to tongue my apex, flicking his tongue over my clit until
I was panting and breaking out in a fine sheen of sweat.  "Oh God,
please, Walter," I moaned.

Two fingers slipped inside and made a 'come here' motion, hitting my
G-spot with unerring accuracy.  I felt my womb cringe and then flood
with aching excitement as my juices began to flow into the palm of his
hand.  His tongue snaked out and licked the juice from his palm and
then he suckled my clit until my body was wracked with the tremors of
a slow, powerful orgasm that shuddered through my muscles and left me
weak and sated.

He slowly made his way up my body and kissed me, sharing my taste that
was still on his tongue.  I hummed and he groaned, his heavy shaft,
laying against my thigh, hot and pulsing.

I reached down after recovering and guided him between my thighs.  He
raised my arms over my head and directed me to hang on to the
headboard.

I expected a wild ride.  But instead, he slipped slowly inside,
leaning down to lick my nipples between each stroke.  After four or
five strokes he was embedded in my sheath.  He moaned again, "Oh
Sydney, you feel so good, baby, every time ... so good."

He levered up onto his knees, spreading his legs wide and letting my
legs dangle over his thighs.  His large hands grasped my waist firmly.
He began a slow withdrawal and a harsh, quick entry that filled me to
capacity and rocked my body against the mattress.  He could penetrate
deeply in this position.  I loved watching the expressions of pleasure
on his face as he watched his cock fill me up over and over.  My
crotch, which was now kept shaved, completely afforded an unobstructed
view of the proceedings.  Now I knew the reason for holding the
headboard spokes.  It prevented me from being pushed up the mattress
from the force of his thrusts.

It was an odd combination of gentleness and roughness.  He withdrew so
slowly that I thought I would go crazy, feeling his long shaft retreat
and my lips, flex and contract around his hardness, feeling every
ridge
and vein as the friction excited my tunnel walls.  He was very hard
and
I could feel him pulse.

Once his giant mushroomed head was tugging on my lips and threatening
to emerge from inside, he would thrust back inside, snapping his hips
and driving himself deep, banging into my cervix and making me gasp at
the exciting discomfort of being so thoroughly stuffed.

I don't know how long we went on like this but it was divine and my
body slowly climbed toward another climax.  I could tell he'd chosen
this odd rhythm because he wanted it to last.  He didn't want this to
be a quickie despite our excitement.  One advantage of older men is
that they tend to last longer anyway.  Younger men may get harder and
recover more quickly, but they never lasted as long as older men who
could make love for a long time.

In Walter's case, it was a ridiculously long time that he stroked
deeply inside me.  I climaxed, crying out his name and he just keep
pumping into me, never varying his rhythm, his sharp thrusts,
enhancing
my orgasm and prolonging it.  I was panting as he kept up his assault.

He towered over me making me gasp and pant as I felt another climax
creeping up my spine.  I gasped out, "Oh Jesus, I'm gonna come again.
Faster, Walter.  Let go now.  Let go, baby, come for me."

He shouted, "AAAAAAHHHHHH YEEEAAAHHH!"

My legs stayed in the same position but he leaned over my torso,
placing his hands on the bed next to my waist and began to thrust at a
furious pace.  The sensations made me arch my back.  He leaned back
again, grabbing the tops of my thighs and banged me viciously,
grunting
with each impact. "Uh, uh, uh."

I brought one hand down and placed it on my stomach.  He leaned back
further and braced his ass on his heels, his hips underneath mine like
a wedge, angling his cock upwards.  Then I felt it.  He was sliding
over my G-spot with every stroke.

His hand came down and pressed my engorged clit against our joining.
I
looked down and pressed my hand into my belly.  I shouted, "Oh, I can
feel you!"

He knew what I meant.  I could feel his cock from the outside.  He was
so big and angling at this position, pushed him upwards.  I could feel
through my hand on my stomach, his hardness pumping into me, nearly
moving the skin of my abdomen he was filling me so full.

He looked like a giant as he stared down at me with sparking brown
eyes.  I threw my head back as I orgasmed again, falling into the
floating abyss as white lights flashed behind my eyelid.

As if through a tunnel, I heard him shout over the roar of the blood
rushing in my ears.  "Oh yeah, I'm coming with you, baby!"

As my climax died down, I felt the warm rush of hot jism fill me,
spraying my cervix and backwashing over his cock as he pumped,
squirting over and over again until spent.

He gasped and took a deep breath, slowing unfolding his legs and
lowering himself into the cradle of my thighs.  He took his weight on
his elbows after pulling the cover up over us to ward of the chill of
cooling skin.

His kiss was languid and full of reverence.  I didn't know if I would
ever get over how beautifully he made love to me.  I love our excited
fucking, and I loved to be teased.  I also loved that he did this to
balance it out.  Just made tender love to me and kissed me like I fine
china.

He lifted his head finally and peered at me.  His fingers combed my
damp hair off my forehead.  He whispered, "I just made love to my
wife."

I smiled.  "I just made love to my husband," I responded.

We smiled, both still a little overwhelmed.  "I love you so much,
Sydney."

"I love you too, Walter."

His face dropped his smile and he said, "Things may never be easy for
us, Sydney."

"I know."

"But I'll fight to keep this," he continued as if I hadn't
interrupted.  "Don't ever run from me because you're scared."

"I won't.  Not anymore."

"You know what my biggest fear was?"

"What?"

"That you would get your life together.  I wanted that for you, but I
was also afraid that once you did, you would find a younger man that
turned your head ... and you would leave me.  You wouldn't need me
anymore ... and you would leave."

I smiled gently at him.  "Never."

"It could happen Sydney."

"No it won't, because I love YOU, Walter."

"Not that I wanted you to be with me just because you needed me ..."
he continued.

I put two fingers over his lips.  "Stop," I commanded.  "I'm with you
because I love you.  And I will always need you."

He opened his mouth to protest.  I shook my head to indicate I wasn't
finished and he shouldn't interrupt.

"I may not need you for things like a career change, and a place to
live."

He lips quirked up quickly but then he frowned again.

I lifted his head with my palms on his face.  "But I will always need
your love and caring, Walter.  I crave it.  And I need you ... will
always need you ... because I love you.  And now ... life would be so
empty without you in it."

He smiled, wetness pooling in his eyes.  "I'm a lucky man," he
whispered, his voice husky.

"I'm a lucky woman."

We smiled again and he rolled off me and turned me onto my side,
spooning up against me.  "Good night, Mrs. Skinner."

I grinned into my pillow, amused that he was enjoying saying that so
much. It was going to take some getting used to.  "Good night ..." I
paused and then whispered, "Master."

He groaned softly in my ear and pulled me tighter against him.  His
lips brushed my ear as he spoke.  "We are going to have so much fun in
Hawaii."

"I'm looking forward to it, Walter."

"Count on it, ...  Sweetheart."

I fell asleep smiling softly, looking forward to the next adventure.
And my life certainly had turned out to be an adventure.  However, as
long as I had Walter by my side, I felt confident I could handle
whatever came my way, good or bad.

Only time would tell.

THE END.


To Be Continued?... That's up to you. :O)