From: starbuck72@netaxis.ca (Starbuck72) Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative Subject: NEW: The Link (1/6) Date: 7 Mar 1996 10:01:57 -0500 THE LINK - A romance in 6 chapters by Leyla Harrison (starbuck72@netaxis.ca) Disclaimers: The characters of Fox Mulder, Dana Scully, Margaret Scully, and Walter Skinner are the creation of one hell of a brilliant man, Chris Carter. I've also gratuitously used the lyrics to a few songs...I will specifically mention at the beginning of each part if I'm using lyrics, and who they're by. So don't sue me for using them...I don't have any money anyhow! Subject Matter: This story is a nice little Mulder/Scully romance story...no sinister conspiracies here. If this doesn't interest you, stop reading NOW. Rating: This story is rated R, I guess, for some adult themes, until you get to the third part, at which point it becomes NC-17 for depictions of loving, consentual sex between Mulder and Scully. If that kind of thing bothers you, you may want to skip parts 3 and 6. Time Line: This story takes place after Pusher, and has some spoilers in it...read at your own risk! Special thanks to everyone who's written me and told me they've liked my previous stuff...it's been an inspiration for me to stick with this and write more!!! Please, please send me comments, flames, or just talk...I love getting e-mail and will respond to all! And now, onto the story!! ****** Part 1 - Alone in the Dark It was floating through her head before she could stop it. That bullet was meant for me... She pushed it away, angrily. There was no need to dwell on it. Mulder hadn't shot her, he had shot Pusher, and she was fine, and he was fine. "Run, Scully," he had urged her. How had he known that the next chamber held the bullet? How? She shuddered as she thought of how close she had come to being killed. By Mulder. Mulder almost killed her, her mind repeated. She slammed her fist against the steering wheel angrily, feeling the pain coursing up into her wrist. She was not going to think about this anymore. She was not. She rolled down her window all the way and let the wind blow her hair and her face. It felt good. It was so easy for him to put the gun to his own head, she thought idly, so easy for him to pull that trigger on himself, but when it came to me...she knew that he wouldn't have been able to go through with it. But his finger had tightened on the trigger, she reminded herself. She had seen the chamber turning, in slow motion, almost. He would have shot her. Scully angrily stepped down harder on the gas pedal, forcing her car to accelerate well beyond the 55 mph speed limit on the highway. She was angry, and when she got angry, she tended to drive irrationally. Just think about when Mulder and I left Comity, she thought. I blew a stop sign before we were even out of town, and was speeding all the way back to the airport. Comity, she thought as she gripped the steering wheel tightly and easily maneuvered the curve of the road. Another nightmare. She had never been so angry at him. The things he said to her, damn him...did he have any idea how much he had hurt her? The comment about her height. The latex comment was way too far over the line. It stung when he said it, and it hurt even more after she thought about it. When was the last time she had sex with someone? The affair with Jack Willis was years ago, and before that she had only slept with two men, both of them in college. Sexually, she did not consider herself inexperienced but just out of practice. Mulder, on the other hand, seemed to have women throwing themselves at his feet. Was that what he wanted her to do, throw herself at him? I need to stop this, she thought. I have to stop thinking about him. I think about him too much. She cut her own thoughts off at that point, but it was too late. "Jesus," she muttered under her breath. Her exit was not for a few miles yet, but she signaled and slowed down anyway. She pulled off the highway and onto the shoulder of the road. Her head was spinning, and she needed more air than the open window was giving her. She got out of the car and stood alongside it for a few minutes, breathing the cold night air and watching the cars speed by on the highway next to her. Even though they had seen each other at the hospital after Mulder shot Modell, she was still feeling this feeling. How could she describe it? At the hospital, she had felt angry, scared. She had reached for Mulder's hand and he had let her squeeze it, her fingers wrapping around his for a few moments, until she started to have trouble breathing, and at that point, she let go of his hand and left the room. Mulder had followed her a few moments later, and they had gone their separate ways back towards D.C. And now she was feeling something, but she wasn't sure what it was. Anger? No, her anger at Modell was gone, shoved down into that part of her that she kept for her anger and disbelief about the things they saw when they were on a case. She kept that part of her separate from her other feelings. It was something she had learned to do to protect herself from becoming too wrapped up in the horror of case, of the people involved. Was it fear? No, her fear was gone. She had been terrified for Mulder, from the moment he decided to go into the hospital alone, without her. For some reason, her fear was stronger than it had ever been. He had put himself in a million dangerous situations, so why was this one so different? Why had she been so worried about him this particular time? And then there she was, sitting in the SWAT team truck outside, watching and listening to Mulder's every move as if she was right there beside him. It had been eerie, the way she had watched the camera move around the room. It was like she was in there with him, no, it was if she had been right there in his head. Thinking his thoughts. When he had turned around and Modell had been there, a gun to his head, she had panicked. Raw fear had risen up in her without warning, and she had jumped up from her chair as soon as Modell slammed his hand into the camera, cutting off her link with Mulder. But her fear was more than being cut off from him. It was almost as if she had been there, almost as if the gun was pointed right at her. She had gone in there and played out Modell's game, just as he had wanted. She knew now that Modell's whole intention was to get to Mulder through Scully. She was smart enough to know that from when she had said, "Mulder, no," and Modell had forced his way deeper into Mulder's head by saying, "Mulder, yes." The whole thing was a struggle for Mulder to see who he would listen to more. He had put the gun to his head, and pulled the trigger, and as he did, there was a click and the noise echoed in her head. She had jumped up from the table, angry, terrified, enraged. Then Mulder had turned the gun on her. And her heart stopped. The only other time he had pulled a gun on her was when they were up in the Icy Cape in Alaska, and that was almost two years ago. They hadn't been through anything compared to now, she thought as she leaned against her car wearily. This time was different. She was convinced, even now, that he might have shot her. Why was it so easy for him to put the gun to his own head? He didn't want to protect himself. He wanted to protect her. He wanted to...what? Save her? Why? Did he care that much about her? Scully pushed that thought from her head as well. She knew that she had feelings for Mulder, but she couldn't think about them right now. She didn't have the energy. She knew that this was what it was all about. It was about the things they had never said to each other, the things that would never be said. It was late, and she wanted to go home. Thinking about it all made her exhausted, more exhausted than she already was from the time spent on the case and the time driving. She got back into the car, carefully merged back into traffic, and headed home. ***** Sometime after three in the morning, the insistent jangling of the phone jarred Scully awake from a nightmare. She sat up in bed, breathing heavily. She strained her mind to remember the dream, but the phone was distracting her. She reached for it. "Hello?" "Hey, Scully, it's me." Scully turned the light on. "Mulder? What's wrong?" "Nothing. Nothing's the matter. I just...couldn't sleep." He sounded tired, but he also sounded like he wanted to tell her something. "I woke you. I'm sorry." "It's OK," she said. "I was having this dream...but I don't remember what it was about." A silence fell over the conversation. Scully stared at the walls, imagining him doing the same thing. She listened carefully, and realized there was the quiet rustling of static on the line. "Where are you?" she asked. "I'm in the car, driving around. I told you, I couldn't sleep." Scully caught her lower lip in her teeth and then let it go. "Do you want to come over? I could make some coffee, and we could talk." "I would," he said immediately. "I'd like that." "How far away are you?" "I'm pretty close. I'll see you in a bit." The connection broke, and Scully heard a dial tone. She got out of bed and put her robe on over her pajamas before she headed into the kitchen. Great, she thought. What the hell are we going to talk about in the middle of the night? ***** Mulder stared at the cel phone in his hand and then put it back into his pocket. He got out of the car and stared straight ahead. He was parked right in front of Scully's house, and through the window he could see her silhouette going from one room to the next, turning the lights on as she did. TO BE CONTINUED... =========================================================================== From: starbuck72@netaxis.ca (Starbuck72) Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative Subject: NEW: The Link (2/6) Date: 7 Mar 1996 10:02:00 -0500 THE LINK Part 2 - Getting it Out in the Open by Leyla Harrison (starbuck72@netaxis.ca) Mulder stood out side his car and watched Scully through her window. Then she moved into another room and he lost sight of her. He sighed heavily. The whole case, this whole thing had caused an upsurge of feelings in him that made him feel uneasy. He had also felt that there had been a break in the connection between him and Scully, and it had been solidified by their nightmarish experience in Comity, New Hampshire. During the day and a half they were there, they had said things to each other that he never thought they would have said. He had acted like an asshole, and he knew it. There was no getting around that fact. And he when he looked back on what he had said to her, the insults he had made, he felt terribly. He knew that she had been hurt by his comment about her height. And he knew she was hurt by the comment about "snapping on the latex". God, he thought, how could I have been so insensitive? And now, this case...what had happened to him? It was like Modell had somehow penetrated his mind, gotten into his head and wouldn't let go. He had pulled on all of Mulder's weaknesses, particularly Scully. Modell knew how well they worked together, he had even said as much directly to Mulder. And Scully had been so worried about him before he had gone in. Somehow, this case had re-connected them, but not in the way he had expected. Mulder knew that putting a gun in Scully's face had not been the way to apologize to her. He hadn't wanted to do it, and he had fought Modell every step of the way on that. But somehow, he knew that the bullet was in that chamber. Somehow, he urged Scully, her terrified face right there in front of him, to run. He had seen the single tear falling from her eye. He knew it was because she didn't want him to shoot her, and after seeing him put the gun to his own head and pull the trigger, she must have thought that it would have been that easy for him to do the same to her. That tear, the memory of it etched into his head, was haunting him. He made his way up the walkway to Scully's house. What had brought him here? Why had he driven around aimlessly, not wanting to go to his apartment? Why had he finally driven to Scully's house? He already knew the answer. But he wanted to know if she would know why as well. ***** Scully opened the door to Mulder. "That was fast," she commented, gesturing him in. "Were you sitting in front of my house or something?" He didn't answer, and she caught it right away. "Mulder?" she asked as she closed and locked the door behind her. They both went to the couch and sat down, one either ends. "Scully, I didn't come over here...shit," he muttered under his breath, unable to look at her. "Were you sitting in front of my house, Mulder?" she asked, but she already knew the answer. He still wouldn't look at her. "I wanted to apologize," he said softly. Scully waited. She knew there was more. "Not just for today, but for what happened in Comity." He didn't understand it. He never liked apologizing to anyone. He didn't like admitting he was wrong, ever. So why did apologizing to Dana Scully make him feel like a weight had just been lifted from his chest? "What happened in Comity, Mulder, was a rare planetary alignment that made us both a little nuts. And," she added as an afterthought, "I may have been suffering from PMS at the time." He looked up at her for the first time. There was a hint of a smile on her face. It melted him. God, he thought, could he pinpoint the exact moment when he fell in love with her? There was no way of knowing for sure. He knew that from day one he had been attracted to her, whether he had trusted her or not. She had a determination that matched his, even though it was not focused in the same direction. And there were so many moments when he knew, irrevocably, that he was completely, hopelessly, in love with her. He had always known it. He had just forced the professional side of him take over in those moments, telling himself that it would never work, that she wouldn't want someone like him, that because of the Bureau it could never happen. He created a million reasons. Mulder did allow himself the knowledge that they shared an emotional intimacy that was unmatched by any other relationship he had ever been in before, personal or professional. He even allowed those rare moments of physical closeness, accepted them as part of that intimacy. There were moments when he knew, though, that the feelings he felt for her at those times had nothing to do with friendship. They had everything to do with love. "A little crabby, were you?" he shot back playfully, and her lips twisted into a tiny smirk in response. It was short lived, though, as her expression grew serious. "I'm sorry, too, Mulder," she admitted, referring to Comity. All she could think about was how good it made her feel to see him smile. "I wouldn't have shot you, you know," Mulder said quietly, out of nowhere, and she looked at him directly in the face. "I couldn't have." She nodded her head slightly. "With the gun to your head, Mulder, I thought you were going to shoot yourself. If the bullet had been in that chamber..." He could only imagine the terror that was going through her. He had rarely known her to yell, to raise her voice, yet he could distinctly recall her fury directed at Modell when Mulder had put the gun to his own head. Her voice had become shrill and he could hear the terror in her voice, masked well by her anger. I'm so sorry, Scully, he thought, and the memory of her crying came back to him in a flash. A knife of pain went to his heart again, knowing he had been responsible for her fear. I would never hurt you, he promised her inwardly. Never. I've already done enough to you, Scully, and I swear to you, I would never... Scully shifted her position on the couch slightly. She looked at him. "We've been through so much, Mulder," she said to him, and he nodded. She closed her eyes for a moment. Is that a good or a bad thing? he wondered. Where is she going with this? Taking advantage of the opportunity to watch her without her being aware of it, Mulder let his eyes travel over her face and neck. She's so beautiful, he thought, and he began to feel those feelings coming back, the ones he wouldn't let in, the ones he knew he shouldn't be thinking. Scully opened her eyes suddenly and he blinked. "Sometimes, Mulder, I think about what we've been through, and I think, has any of it been worth it? My father died. Your sister disappeared. We both had to deal with those losses. And then you lost your father and I lost my sister. They're dead." "At least you were on good terms with Melissa when she died," he said to her, thinking about his father's death, and the fact that he never made peace with him, and Scully's gaze, which had momentarily been focused elsewhere, snapped back to him in an instant. "Mulder, she's dead. Whether or not I was on good terms with her--" "Scully, my father was shot while I was in the next room. I never got the chance to tell him what I wanted to say. I never got to ask him--" "Which makes your loss more acute?" she cut in. She had raised her voice, slightly, and he could hear the bitterness. "Mulder, we both lost someone who was very close to us. We have had our lives taken away from us in the last few years." "Mine's been gone for longer than that," he reminded her, a quick image of his sister floating away from him, out the window, coming into his mind. He brushed it away. "If I had never gotten involved..." Scully started, but trailed off when she saw the look on Mulder's face. She was treading in dangerous water. She knew that Mulder felt guilty over her involvement with him, that he felt responsible for the losses she had been dealt with. Her abduction - he felt the most guilt about that. "I know, Scully," he said loudly, standing up, angry himself now. "If you hadn't gotten involved with the X-Files, you never would have lost Melissa. You would never have been abducted. You never would have been so close to death. I know, Scully. I know you think it's all my fault--" "Your fault?" she asked, getting up to face him. "Is that what you think? Mulder, I don't blame you for any of it!" "Well, I blame myself!" he yelled at her. "I blame myself! Look at my record, Scully. I couldn't do anything to save Samantha. I couldn't do anything to save you. I dragged you into all of this, and you lost your sister, and you were abducted, and I couldn't save you!" He was yelling at full volume now. "But you did," she said gently, quietly. Her calm tone quieted him for a minute. "It was you, your strength, that brought me back." TO BE CONTINUED.... =========================================================================== From: starbuck72@netaxis.ca (Starbuck72) Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative Subject: NEW: The Link (3/6) NC-17 Date: 7 Mar 1996 10:02:06 -0500 THE LINK Part 3 - We've Waited So Long by Leyla Harrison (starbuck72@netaxis.ca) WARNING!!! This is where we move into NC-17 territory, so if you are bothered by depictions of loving, consentual sex between Mulder and Scully, stop reading now!!! You've been warned!! ****** Mulder stared at her. "Brought you back?" he asked. "To what? To enable you to live to see your sister get killed?" Her blue eyes clouded over. "Christ, Scully, you should blame me!" She sat down on the couch again, looked at the floor for a few moments. Finally, she spoke. "Look, it's late." For a moment he thought she was going to kick him out of her apartment. He sat down on the couch next to her. "I know. I'm sorry I yelled." She looked at him, and there were tears in her eyes. Oh, Scully, he thought, please don't cry. "There have been so many times, Mulder, when I have wanted to blame you," she confessed, her voice shaky. "But, I couldn't. I can't blame you any more than I can blame myself." She was obviously trying to keep the tears at bay, and was doing an admirable job of it. "It just happened. We've all made our choices in life, and I've made mine. And my choice was to work with you, to help you look for the truth." "Why?" he asked. "Why, after everything you've been through? Why don't you give up? I know you always need a rational explanation, and you're never going to get one if you stay." Even though she knew, she couldn't answer. Instead, she raised her hand to his face and gently brushed the back of her hand against his cheek. For all her anger at him, for all her frustrations with him, she couldn't resist him. How could she tell him that she stayed because he had changed her life? There was no way to explain to him that her life could now be divided into two sections of time: before she met him and after she met him. Oh, Mulder, she thought, as she tenderly stroked his face, it's because I love you. Mulder swallowed hard. He could almost read her thoughts through her clear blue eyes. The sensation of her fingertips, light as feathers, softly grazing over his skin was creating tingles down his neck and back. He had long before noticed the attributes about her that made her so attractive to him: her creamy skin, her blue eyes, her fiery hair...her sharp brilliance, her ability to come back with a logical explanation for every unexplainable situation. Mulder was convinced that he would be able to pick out the shape and curve of her body with a blindfold over his eyes. Not like he would ever have the chance, but he could dream, couldn't he? Now she had moved her hand to rub his neck. It was a gentle massaging action, although they had locked eyes with each other, turning it into something more intense. Scully was almost holding her breath. He had never before allowed her such intimate access to his body. Mulder was a muscular man, she knew, but to be able to feel the tautness beneath her fingers was incredible. As she massaged his neck and shoulder through the cloth of his shirt, she could feel the muscles tightening and relaxing. I know I should stop, she thought. I shouldn't be doing this. Mulder was thinking the exact thing. He was also feeling like each breath he took was caught in his lungs just a little more, and the even composure he was maintaining was wearing thin. What her touch was doing to him was unbelievable. Finally, using all his willpower, he reached up and grabbed her hand. "Scully--" Whether he wanted her to stop or not, he wasn't sure. She looked at him, surprised that he was stopping her. "What?" she asked, her voice low and slightly husky. He was so close to her now that she could feel the heat being released from his body. Mulder still had a firm grip around her wrist, and he stared at her. A moment's silence hung over them as they stared at each other. Finally, Scully tried to wrestle her hand away from him. He wouldn't release it. "Mulder," she cautioned, and before she could say another word he was twisting her arm back, pushing her down on the couch, kissing her roughly, crushing her petite body beneath his. Scully responded without thinking. She clutched at Mulder's back, pulling him closer to her, kissing him back without giving him a moment to breathe. He felt her soft lips against his, seeking his, her fingers trailing a path. Finally, he pulled his mouth free of hers for a moment, breathing heavily. "Am I hurting you?" he asked, shifting his weight. "I don't want to hurt you." "No," she said to him, breathless as well. He breathed deeply, trying to calm his racing heart. Without another word, Mulder extracted himself from her and scooped her up in his arms. She let out a little gasp of surprise. There was no way that he was going to make love to Dana Scully for the first time on her couch, like a bunch of high school kids. She was light as a feather in his arms, and he carried her into the bedroom and gently deposited her on her bed. Mulder let out a deep breath to try and calm himself. Scully shifted on the bed so that she was on her back, her legs slightly parted, her upper body raised up slightly as she propped herself up on her elbows so she could look at him without being flat on her back. Her hair was less controlled then he had ever seen it, and the brilliance of her eyes was beckoning to him from the few feet away that he stood. The way she looks at this moment, Mulder thought, is dangerous. He came closer to the bed, closer to her, finally getting onto the bed, carefully laying his body on top of hers, nestling it between her legs. Oh, Jesus, he thought, as their bodies made contact and he felt the heat of her body through the material of their clothes. It was almost a good thing that they were both still dressed because he felt a surge going through his lower body. Slow down, he warned himself, slow down. He did not want to rush this. Scully felt Mulder's weight descending on her body as a warm, erotic pressure. She could immediately feel the entire length of him on her, closer than he had been able to maneuver on the couch. She felt his hands in her hair, sifting through the auburn strands with his fingers, kissing the length of her neck and the sides of her face, her hairline, her forehead. She could do nothing except hold onto him. She eventually felt the fever within herself building and reached for his tie, pulling it loose. At the same time she accidentally popped a few buttons on his shirt in anticipation of getting it undone. "Oh, Mulder," she gasped when she realized what she had done. "It's OK," he said, smiling at her and unbuttoning it the rest of the way. Scully pulled it off his shoulders and ran her hands over his chest, just as she had dreamed of doing a million times before. Her fingertips lightly grazed his nipples and he held his breath, letting her continue her exploration of his upper body. Her hands moved lower, to his belt, unbuckling it. She managed to get it undone and then he kissed her again. He had to feel her mouth on his again, feel that warmth. The kiss sent electrical currents through her body. He was pulling her robe open, unbuttoning the tops of her pajamas, letting them fall from her shoulders and onto the bed. He took a long, approving look at her. Mulder had always known, somehow, that she looked this wonderful. He had fantasized about it enough times to somehow just know. He leaned his head down to kiss her neck, her shoulders, trailing over her smooth skin. Scully let her head fall back as he moved his head down to her breasts, gently taking them in his hands. He marveled at how the areola was puckered around the hardened nipple, and he took one in his mouth, gently sucking it, repeating the action on the other one, hearing her soft moans in response. Sensation was flooding Scully, and she felt his hands pulling at her pajama bottoms now, pulling them down, off her hips and down her legs until they were completely off. He ran one hand over the cotton bikini underwear she was wearing and tugged at the waistband. She nodded her approval, and he pulled them off her as well. He slid one hand down her chest, gently playing with each nipple, twisting it, then moving his hand down, over her stomach and abdomen, into the soft mass of curly hair between her legs. He noticed that she was watching him, trembling. "You OK?" he asked, and she nodded. "You're not scared, are you?" he asked, and she shook her head. His fingers carefully parted her vaginal lips and found her clitoris, touching it gently, putting some light pressure on it, and she gasped aloud. Mulder smiled at her, knowing that this was giving her pleasure, knowing that he had wanted to hear that noise from her for so long. He pressed a little harder, not wanting to give her too much pressure, and traced circles around it, feeling her wetness increase as he did. She was beginning to move her lower body in response to this stimulation. Mulder slipped one finger lower, farther between the folds of warm, moist skin, and found her opening. It was slick with wetness, and he slowly, carefully, slid one finger deep into her. Scully arched her back and clutched at his arm. "Oh, God," she gasped, her fingers digging into his arm. He could feel her inner muscles contracting around his finger, and he loved the way it felt. She opened her eyes briefly, and looked at him. "Mulder, please," she whispered, and he removed his finger carefully, undoing his pants, taking them off and then climbing back into bed with her. He bent down over her and kissed her stomach, her thighs, moving his way back between her legs. He carefully opened them wider, and they trembled harder in response. He bent his head down to kiss her in that spot, but she reached for him. "What's wrong?" he asked. "I've never...." she whispered, embarrassed, almost. "I'm too scared." "It's OK," he murmured. "When you're ready." It made him feel better, somehow knowing that he would be the first to do that, when she was ready for it. He moved back up so that his face was near hers and kissed her deeply, wrapping his arms around her, feeling her nakedness against him. He was hard as a rock, and she could feel him pressing against her thigh. Scully was glad that he hadn't been upset. She had fantasized about him, secretly, doing that to her, but she wasn't quite ready for it. He moved his penis so that the tip of it was against her clitoris, and he used the head to play with it in that way for a minute or two, teasing her. Her arms were around his neck, her head back, her lips slightly parted, soft, gentle moans coming from her mouth. Her eyes were half closed, and they were heavy-lidded with desire. "Scully," he whispered to her. "Dana." She opened her eyes and looked into his as he slowly slid the length of his penis into her, filling her. Scully's eyes widened as he moved into her. Mulder felt so much at that moment that he thought he was either going to come or burst into tears. "Mulder..." she said to him. It was all she could manage. The feeling of him inside her was more that she could imagine. He began to move within her, slowly in and out, rocking her back and forth against him, moving faster, then slower again, driving her crazy with desire. She moved with him, feeling their bodies coming together, back and forth, until she clutched at his back again and he closed his eyes, burying his face into her shoulder, gasping, as they both came. Mulder breathed deeply, not yet wanting to pull out from her, but wondering what she wanted him to do. Her eyes were closed and there were tears on her cheek. He carefully kissed them and then her lips again, feeling her press her body closer to him. "Don't move yet," she whispered, and he didn't. The moment of closeness was something he wanted to remember, and he stayed very still as he held her. TO BE CONTINUED.... =========================================================================== From: starbuck72@netaxis.ca (Starbuck72) Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative Subject: NEW: The Link (4/6) Date: 7 Mar 1996 10:02:09 -0500 THE LINK Part 4 - A Talk with Mom by Leyla Harrison (starbuck72@netaxis.ca) All previous disclaimers apply. The ABBA song, "One of Us" is used without permission but don't sue me...I don't have a dime! Morning came, and as the sun peeked in through the curtains, Mulder stirred. He had enjoyed the first night of peaceful sleep in a long time. As he opened his eyes, his first thought was of Scully, and the previous night. We held each other all night, he realized, and reached for her, but was surprised to find that she wasn't there. "Scully?" he asked, sitting up in bed. There was no response. Her pajamas, which had been on the floor by the bed, were folded on a chair nearby. Mulder got up and put his jeans back on, walking bare chested through the apartment. There was no sign of her. Mulder closed his eyes wearily. Where could she have gone? **** Scully lay on her back in her old room, staring up at the ceiling. It had been hard to explain to her mother why she had shown up there so early in the morning, but she had somehow convinced her that she would explain later, that she just needed somewhere to go. She could still smell the distinct odor of Mulder's skin on her, and she curled up into a ball and wanted to cry. Why had she run out of her own apartment? It had been everything she had wanted, and more. The words of an old ABBA song floated though her head idly, and she could almost hear the melancholic tune. "One of us is crying, one if us is lying, in her lonely bed Staring at the ceiling, wishing she was somewhere else instead One of us is lonely, one of us is only waiting for a call Feeling stupid, feeling small, Wishing she had never left at all." She turned over, curling herself tighter. "Dana?" she heard her mother call softly from the other side of the door. "Can I come in?" Scully pushed away the few stray tears that were lingering on her cheeks and sat up. "Sure, Mom," she called. Margaret Scully entered the room. She was not quite sure why her daughter was so upset, but she sensed that it had something to do with Fox Mulder. She found Dana sitting up on her old bed, trying to smile. Margaret came over to her and sat down next to her. "Do you want to tell me what's going on?" she asked. Scully looked at her lap. There was no way she could pretend with her mother. The forced smile faded from her face. "I don't know if I should," she replied, her voice low. "I don't know how you'll react." "What do you mean?" she asked. "It's Mulder, Mom," Scully said, reaffirming her mother's assumption. Margaret nodded. "He and I, well, we..." She trailed off, her voice trembling with the strain of impending tears. Margaret put her hand over her daughter's reassuringly and squeezed it gently. "We slept together." Margaret tried not to react. She was not expecting this. She had been anticipating, I love him and he doesn't love me, he's in love with someone else, he doesn't want me...but not this. It wasn't that she disapproved, it was more that she was hoping that her daughter would fall in love with Mulder, and then fall into bed with him. "Why are you crying?" she asked her daughter. Over the last year, she had never been more sure about her intuitions about her daughter and Mulder being in love with each other. But now...Dana's tears were not easily understood. "I left," Scully managed to get out, as tears began to slip down her cheeks. "I got up this morning, and left him there. Alone. In my own house." Margaret nodded. "Did you leave because you were upset that you slept with him?" she asked, still a little confused. "Yes. No," Scully vacillated. "I don't know." "Why do you think you left?" Margaret urged her daughter. She didn't want to pry, but instead wanted to let her daughter volunteer information. "I don't know, " Scully cried miserably. Margaret held her daughter as she cried. "Was it...was it because of the sex itself?" She didn't think she had ever asked Dana such a personal question, and she hoped that her daughter wouldn't be angry. Scully lifted her head from her mother's shoulder, sniffling. "No, no." She wiped her eyes and tried to compose herself. "That part was...wonderful," she admitted, blushing a little. She looked up at her mother. "I'm sorry, Mom...I can't imagine you'd want to hear the intimate details about your child having sex." "Honey, I've done it, so I understand, and thank you for trying to spare my feelings. I was only asking, though, because I thought maybe it hadn't gone as you had hoped." Scully shook her head. "No, it was everything I hoped for. More." That was an understatement, she thought. Although they had only made love once, the tremors that had shaken her body were stronger and more stirring than she had ever experienced. And she had seen the look on Mulder's face as he clutched at her and groaned, a look of complete ecstasy on his face. In all of her fantasies about him with other women, she never imagined him enjoying it quite as much as she had seen him enjoy being with her. "Then what's wrong?" "He never told me he loved me," she said softly, trying not to cry. "Did you tell him you loved him?" Margaret asked. "Did you tell him that you've been in love with him all this time?" Scully stared at her mother. "How did you..." Margaret inhaled sharply. She had known, but had never let on until now. "How did you know that?" "Sweetheart," Margaret replied wisely, "I'm your mother. How could I not know?" She wanted to somehow comfort her daughter, but wasn't sure of quite how. Then it hit her. "Dana, he loves you too." "You're not his mother," Dana responded, "so how did you know that?" "Honey, I can see it in his eyes. He can't hide his emotions from me. He never has." Margaret knew that although Mulder had never given him any verbal indication of this, she knew it was the truth. She brushed her daughter's hair out of her eyes. "Listen to me. I think you should go home, and talk to him. Try to be honest with him about how you feel. If he hears it from you, it will make it easier for him to open up to you. You know, both of you are so stubborn and so strong, and neither of you wants to admit your emotions. But you both need to. Desperately." Scully nodded her head slightly. "Mom, the Bureau," she said. "Skinner. If word of this got out to anyone, we'd both be dismissed immediately. We can't carry on a relationship while we're working together. It's against Bureau policy." Margaret couldn't shake the dream she had just a few weeks ago. In it, Melissa had come to her and shown her a wonderful thing: Dana's marriage to Fox. It was to take place sometime in the future, which was how Margaret knew that the two were made for each other, but what was more, Dana's boss, Mr. Skinner, had been at the wedding. In fact, he had been the one to give Dana away. "Dana," her mother advised her, "don't follow your head, just thins once. Follow your heart." Scully studied her mother's expression and knew that she was getting sound advice. And she knew exactly what she needed to do. TO BE CONTINUED.... =========================================================================== From: starbuck72@netaxis.ca (Starbuck72) Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative Subject: NEW: The Link (5/6) Date: 7 Mar 1996 10:02:11 -0500 THE LINK Part 5 - Tell Me How You Really Feel by Leyla Harrison (starbuck72@netaxis.ca) All disclaimers in Part 1. This section is rated R...for some minor sexual content. Mulder rummaged around in Scully's kitchen, looking for something to satisfy the rumbling in his stomach. There was some cereal, and he poured some into a bowl with some milk which he ate quickly. Then he decided to explore Scully's house. Well, he thought, she's not here, and she'll never know, and...he sighed because of her absence. He really just wanted to see a few things, things he had always been curious about. He headed first back into the bedroom. Opening her closet, he was not surprised to see the row of suits. Most of them he had seen her wear at work. Most of them, he noted, were either black of tan. There were a few hints of color, things he could recall her wearing, things that had especially caught his eye. One red suit. A forest green silk shirt. A plum colored suit, one that he couldn't remember seeing her wear, but one that he thought would look good on her. A few sweaters folded on the top shelves of the closet. Then, on to the drawers. He started at the bottom, finding jeans and sweats. These were the kind of clothes he wanted to see her wear more often, because they added to her youthful appearance. He opened the top drawer and lifted some items out. There were more of the cotton Jockeys he had seen from last night and some standard, work related lingerie, and then there were lacy, filmy silk items that he somehow couldn't associate with Scully. He figured she must wear them, these black stockings, and the black silk slip, but the nightgown? Where did she get this? It was a deep purple satin, and likely came just below her hips. It didn't take much work on the part of his imagination to picture her standing before him, wearing it, the bottom edge just barely covering her upper thighs. He put it back in the drawer and headed for the bathroom, where he found basically what he had seen there before - soap and toothbrush and shampoo. Basic, everyday necessities. He lifted the shampoo bottle from the shower and sniffed the top. There it was - that fresh, clean scent he had smelled only a few times when he had taken her into his arms and held her close, pressing his face into her hair. He put it back. In the medicine cabinet was makeup. He didn't expect to find too much - Scully looked strikingly beautiful without it - and he was right. Some foundation, powder, eyeliner, mascara and lipstick. And perfume...two bottles. One scent, Chloe, he recognized. The other, he didn't. The bottle was a small cobalt blue sphere with a gold stopper. He turned the bottle over to get a look at the name. Sun Moon Stars, he read. The bottle had never been opened. A gift? he wondered. The rest of the medicine cabinet was filled with a variety of over-the-counter medications and a few prescriptions. Tylenol, Motrin, Advil, Aleve...Scully was certainly not short on painkillers. Well, she's always said I give her headaches, he thought ruefully. An old prescription for Darvocet, and another old one for Tylenol with Codeine. Then, his heart did a flip flop. There was a small circular disc on the second shelf. Mulder knew what they were without looking. Birth control pills. Why the hell is she on those? he wondered. Maybe she's been sleeping with someone else recently. He didn't want to think that, and so he slammed the medicine cabinet shut harder than he needed to and looked around the bathroom one last time. Scully's bathroom was a wonderful room, he thought, looking at the clawfoot tub and the small bottles of bath oils on the shelf. He imagined her sitting in that tub, hot water up to her neck, a layer of iridescent bubbles covering the top of the water, covering her body...and he got an image of her skin, warm and soft from the water and the bubbles, his hands reaching down under the water, touching that skin... Mulder shook his head and headed back into the bedroom. There was a small jewelry case on the bureau. He could never recall Scully wearing any jewelry with the exception of simple earrings he had seen poking out when she would tuck her hair behind her ear, and, of course, the cross. She never took that off. The box held a pair of pearl studs, a pair of small gold hoops, and Mulder envisioned her standing here in the mornings, looking at her reflection in the mirror as she put these earrings on...he could see himself coming up behind her on those mornings, putting his arms around her, watching their reflection in the mirror as he brushed her hair back with his fingertips, lightly kissing the small patch of skin behind her ear... Mulder shook himself out of his fantasy and stared at the mirror. He was standing there, alone, and where was she? Why had she left? The last thing he remembered, she had curled up in his arms sometime around 4am, and he tightened his hold on her, and then he drifted back to sleep. Sometime between then and now, she must have gotten up, gotten dressed, and left. Where the hell did she go? He knew that the previous evening had been what they both had wanted for so long, denied themselves of, and now she had run off without a note, an explanation, nothing. Why? The soft clicking of the lock in the front hall startled him. He hurried out into the living room to find Scully quietly coming in. "Hey," he said to her. "You're awake," she said in response. "I was trying to be quiet in case you were still sleeping." He crossed the room to take her in his arms, but she avoided him and headed for the couch, throwing her keys on the coffee table and sitting down, turning her face up to look at him. "Can we talk, Mulder?" He noticed the strain in her voice, and as he came over to the couch and sat down next to her he could see the redness that was rimming her eyes. She had been crying. "Sure," he said. "Last night," she began, "last night was something...incredible." He nodded at her. "You were incredible," he said in a low voice, and he saw her blush slightly. She tried to get her composure back. "Mulder, I know you've...had your past experiences. I know you've been with a lot of women." How could he tell her? How could he explain to her that he had never experienced such overwhelming love as he had with her the previous night? Most of the other women in his life were one night stands, quick solutions to solve the problem of his arousal. Once he had been in bed with them, though, the excitement had worn off quickly. Most of the "hot" nights she had probably imagined that he had had during the time they had known each other had been women he had seen on the screen of his TV from a porn flick he had rented. And Kristen, of course, but that was separate. He had been dead when he slept with Kristen, and she had been as well, and their night of sex was nothing but physicality, each of them trying to revive themselves. And to no avail. Mulder had been thinking of Scully the entire time, asking himself how he could have done this to her memory. There was no denying the obvious: he had spent the last two and a half years fantasizing about a petite redhead with blue eyes. "Scully--" "No, let me finish," she said to him. "I know that this was probably just another night of sex for you. But for me, Mulder, it was--" He had to stop her there. "Scully, it wasn't just sex for me. Do you know how long I've wanted...wanted this to happen? With you?" She looked at him in shock, almost utter disbelief. She knew that he cared about her. Somewhere in her heart she maintained the hope that he felt for her at least a fraction of how she felt about him. But how was she supposed to know what she felt when all she had done was push her own feelings down within her, burying them so they wouldn't show? He probably only wanted one thing from her. That's what he's talking about, she told herself. "I know, you have probably been fantasizing about me and wanted to get me into bed." "But Scully, it's not what you think. I didn't just want to get you into bed. I wanted..." Mulder ran a hand through his hair. He had denied his own feelings for so long that he was afraid she would laugh if she knew what they were. "I wanted to make love to you. I want to make love to you now. I want to make love to you every day for the rest of my life." He looked down at the floor, knowing that he hadn't said it quite right. Now she would think all he wanted her for was sex. And that wasn't it at all. What he wanted with her was so much more than sex. It was companionship, it was trust, it was gentleness, it was intimacy. It was all the things they already shared, and so much more. "What?" she asked, her voice tremulous, soft. He looked up at her. Tears were brimming in her eyes. She couldn't believe what he was saying. He took a deep breath. "I know I should have told you last night. But I didn't. Maybe I was still pinching myself to believe that it was all really happening. During the night, all I could think about was waking up with you in my arms in the morning and telling you how much I love you." A tear slipped down Scully's cheek, and he lifted his hand to gently brush it away. "It's why I left," she said to him. "I thought...maybe sex was all you wanted." "I do want it," he replied with a little smile, "but there's more to it than that." "I love you, Mulder," she said, her voice breaking, and he nodded, drawing her to him and holding her close, feeling the warmth of her against him. He stroked her hair and her back. Scully let her check rest on his bare chest. His skin was warm and she could hear his heart beating. It was more comforting that anything she had ever experienced in her life. "I love you too," he whispered in her ear, kissing the top of her head. He lifted her face from his chest and kissed her lips, gently, tugging at them with his own. He kissed the corners of her mouth, and then returned to kiss her full on the lips, feeling her respond with the same tenderness. Scully put her hands on Mulder's bare chest, and he felt his heart rate quickening. "Maybe we should go back to bed," he suggested to her. "Work..." she said. "Skinner..." "Screw him for one morning," Mulder replied, not meaning any disrespect. "We can be late." He kissed her again, and led her back to the bedroom, getting out of their clothes and into his arms, where he wanted and needed her. He looked down at her face, her beautiful face. "Scully..." he whispered in awe. "Dana, I love you." Now that he realized why she had left, why she had been so upset, and now that they had gotten their feelings out in the open, he couldn't help but saying it again. In fact, it felt good to say it again. She reached down, unbuttoning his jeans. At the touch of her hands on his abdomen, he felt himself going into a state of rapid arousal. He felt her hand take hold of his hard penis and he gasped. She smiled at the response. "Show me," she whispered to him coyly, and he made a mental note to make sure not to stop making love to her until she was absolutely writhing with the most extreme ecstasy she had ever felt. He kissed her, hard, and proceeded to show her exactly how much he loved her. TO BE CONTINUED.... =========================================================================== From: starbuck72@netaxis.ca (Starbuck72) Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative Subject: NEW: The Link (6/6) NC-17 Date: 7 Mar 1996 10:02:25 -0500 THE LINK Part 6 - Fumbling Towards Ecstasy by Leyla Harrison (starbuck72@netaxis.ca) This section is rated NC-17 for more descriptions of loving, consentual sex between Mulder and Scully. The lyrics for the song "Possession" by Sarah McLachlan are borrowed without permission, but don't sue me, Sarah...the song is too beautiful not to use! Mulder slipped one arm under Scully's back as he kissed his way down her throat. He was with her in bed again, holding her. They had gotten out of the clothes that were in their way, and Mulder found himself entranced by the creamy white skin of Scully's body as he traced his way along curves of it. She was looking up at him, her eyes filled with wonder and serene calm, and yet her entire body was tingling from his touch. She had never before known that it could be like this, not with anyone else, especially not with him. How could she have ever imagined that when she had met him, and he had not trusted her, that things would somehow end up like this? How could she have thought that they would be in bed, in each other's arms, making love, feeling the amazing power of the bond that had formed between them over the last few years? Mulder kissed her again, and she felt his lips getting more demanding, more strong. It made her shift around in bed under him, feeling the buzzing in her head and in her lower belly. He moved one hand down to find her breast, one finger to trace the soft skin around her nipple. He was teasing her, not touching the most sensitive tip but all around it, making her wait. It was almost as if she could feel arousal coming from him touching just her breast, and then, without warning, his finger darted over her nipple, making her gasp. He took it between his thumb and forefinger and rolled it back and forth carefully, not too hard. He watched her eyes close and a small sigh slipped from her lips. He smiled. This time he was going to take a long time, to show her exactly all the things he had dreamed about doing to her. Mulder leaned down and replaced his finger and thumb with his mouth, sucking on the nipple, feeling the peak of it harden on his lips, as he moved his hand down to her stomach, her legs, her thighs. He had a sudden inspiration. "Scully," he whispered, "will you do something for me?" A few minutes later, she was wearing the camisole, and as he had suspected, it barely covered the reddish patch of hair between her legs. She moved her hand down, almost shyly, to cover herself, but he stopped her with his own hand. "I guess I'm a little self-conscious," she admitted. "There's no need to be," he replied, moving her hand aside gently and placing his hand flat over the mound of hair. He kissed her, trying to keep her mind focused on his tongue eagerly darting in and out of her mouth, as his fingers began to explore the damp hairs between her legs. He parted the outer lips and slid one finger in, gently touching her clitoris again, and her mouth opened, she gasped into his mouth as he played with it gently, tracing slow and careful circles around it. He could feel it swelling and hardening, and he could feel her getting wetter and more aroused. He kept up the circles, slightly increasing the speed and pressure, just slightly. "Mulder," she gasped at one point, and he looked at her, lifting his head from hers to watch the look on her face. All she could see was a smile from him, a genuine smile, and the rest of her body felt as if it was going to explode. Her lower body was almost thrashing on the bed. Just as she thought she was going to come, he slowed the pace of his finger and removed it, kissing her again. Jesus, she thought, trying to regain control of her racing heartbeat and breathing. And then he was holding her, kissing her breasts, kissing in between them, and her stomach...she realized dimly that she was moving his head with her hands, moving him down. Mulder stopped momentarily and looked up at her. "Are you sure?" he whispered, and she nodded. He kissed her abdomen again, moving his way down to her legs, using his hands to gently open them wide. He kissed the backs of her knees, the insides of her thighs, and she squirmed with delight. It was the feeling on a light tickling almost, but arousing at the same time. She could feel his head moving up, higher, until she could feel his breath on her, and she held her own breath in anticipation. Mulder carefully separated her vaginal lips, leaning his head down to put his mouth on her. Scully gasped aloud at the first initial contact. It was like nothing she had ever experienced or could ever imagine. His mouth was hot against her tender skin, and he began an exploration with his tongue, slowly, carefully. Scully clutched at his head with both hands, feeling her senses begin to overload quickly. "Mulder, Mulder," she chanted, begging him to stop or continue, she wasn't sure. Within moments he was trying to hold her body still, which he was finding to be impossible. She was writhing beneath his mouth, and he was being infinitely careful not to do too much, not to scare her, not to hurt her in any way. He could feel her getting more out of control, getting closer to coming, and he again slowed his pace. He wanted to bring her to the edge of ecstasy, over and over, giving her sweet torture. And it worked. When he lifted his head from her, he could see the look of disappointment flash across her face. "Mulder," she gasped, "I'm so close." He nodded. He had fought off the raging physical explosion himself, just watching her. He was hard, and slid into her without saying another word. This time as he sunk deep into her, he was the one to gasp. He could feel her muscles contracting around him, pulling him deeper and tighter, and he looked at her, his eyes moist. "Christ, Scully," he muttered. She smiled. He wasn't the only one who could bring on a near-orgasmic reaction. She drew him close to her as she brought her hips up to meet him thrust for thrust. She felt the building of sensation from her feet to her shoulders, and Mulder was gasping, holding onto her, their cries of release combining as they both came with a shudder. The orgasm lasted for minutes, as Mulder continued to move within Scully's body, continuing to push into her, and her pulling him closer. Finally, exhausted, they both collapsed into each other's arms. They were covered with a fine layer of sweat, and Mulder kissed Scully's forehead. "You're amazing," he whispered to her. She smiled in acknowledgment, snuggling closer to him. The phone rang suddenly, making Mulder jump. Scully gently pulled him back down to bed. "The machine will get it," she said. They both listened. "Dana, honey, I was just calling to make sure everything is OK," they heard Margaret Scully's voice come through the apartment. Scully smiled. Her mother must have some idea of why she wasn't answering the phone. "Why don't you come over for dinner tonight? Oh, and Fox, I'd love to see you, too." She hung up, and Mulder looked at Scully with a smile. "She knows you're here," Scully said, answering his unspoken question. He kissed her again, a gentle, passionate kiss that left her mind reeling. The phone rang again. "Shit," she whispered, and they both giggled. "Agent Scully, this is Assistant Director Skinner. I was waiting for you and Agent Mulder for a 9:00 meeting. It is now almost 9:45." "Oh, God," Scully gasped. "I totally forgot about the meeting." "He sounds pissed," Mulder said, and Scully went to jump to get the phone. "Sir?" she said, picking up the cordless. "I'm here." "Agent Scully, you're supposed to be in my office right now. Do you have any idea where Agent Mulder is?" Mulder was right, she thought, he is pissed. She suppressed the urge to laugh, though, at his question. Mulder put his arms around her bare shoulders, kissing her neck playfully. "Sir, I can try to reach him...I'm sure he's around here somewhere." "He's at your apartment?" Skinner asked. Mulder kissed her again. She tried to push him back, and he chuckled. "No, Sir, he's not, I just...I'll get a hold of him. We'll be there as soon as we can." "I'll be waiting, Agent Scully." The connection was broken. "Mulder, we have to go!" she cried, hitting him impishly with a pillow. He just kissed her in response. "Mulder," she said, but he kissed her again, and again, pushing her back down onto the pillows. "I love you," he whispered. "I love you, Dana Katherine Scully." It took away all her fear, all her worry. He smiled and kissed her again. ***** At Bureau headquarters, Skinner sat at his desk, staring at the phone he had just hung up. He had heard Mulder chuckle in the background on the phone. He was a smart man. He knew what was going on. He knew he could call them on their behavior, threaten them with suspension, split them up... And then Skinner thought of Margaret Scully, and how she intrigued him. Dana Scully's mother, he thought, and he sighed heavily. "OK," he said in a low tone. In his mind he was thinking, thinking about Fox Mulder and Dana Scully. He sighed again. "You two had better keep this under wraps," he muttered aloud, and then let out a small chuckle of his own. He did actually think they made an excellent couple. I guess I have a heart after all, he thought, and shook his head, almost disbelieving. **** Would I spend forever here and not be satisfied And I would be the one, to hold you down Kiss you so hard, I'll take your breath away And after I'd wipe away the tears Just close your eyes, dear Through this world I stumble, so many times betrayed Trying to find a honest word to find the truth enslaved Nothing stands between us here and I won't be denied My body aches to breathe your breath, your words keep me alive And I would be the one, to hold you down Kiss you so hard, I'll take your breath away And after I'd wipe away the tears Just close your eyes