TITLE:		Mind Confection 1/1
NAME:		Crash
E-MAIL:		mamymac@juno.com
CATEGORY:	SR
RATING:		NC-17 for sexual situations/language
SUMMARY:	A romp through Mulder and Scully's head's as they decide
		to admit their feelings for one another.
SPOILERS:	The 5th season is alluded to
KEYWORDS:	Mulder/Scully Romance

DISCLAIMER:	Mulder and Scully belong to that silly Chris Carter
man.  I'm making no money doing this, and hardly any at my real job.  If
you sue me all you will get is my mortgage and a relatively unkempt
condominium.  M&S are also property of 10-13 Productions, no infringement
is intended.

ARCHIVE:	Anywhere you like so long as my name, such as it is, is
on it.

NOTES:	Ever wake up and have a craving for nothing even remotely
nutritional?  Like all you want to eat all day is nothing more than a
pile of Triscuits covered in Cheez Whiz.  Just pure junk?  Well I woke up
the other morning in that mood, but in an intellectual sense.  So you can
consider this piece junkfood for the brain.  It's pure relationship mind
candy.  It's also an NC-17 piece so hide the kiddies. Feedback is welcome
at mamymac@juno.com, but you've been warned as to the fluff
herein, so flames will be returned with something sticky and yucky.


Mind Confection 1/1
By Crash

Why does she do that?  She's standing there staring at me like I'm crazy
again.  Sure, I just explained to her Gulf War Syndrome is
extra-terrestrial in origin.  But I've given her very "plausible"
evidence, a photo the Gunmen had on file of a space ship hovering over
Bhagdhad.  As usual, I'm getting the panted Dana Scully look.  The look
that makes me hold my breath. 

She's the most infuriating woman I know.  She takes none of my shit and
constantly argues with me.  So why is it, when I fall asleep at night,
the woman I take into the velvet darkness of my dreams is her?

Maybe it's the way she says my name.  My last name falling from her lips
either sounds like a caress or a slap, rarely much in between.  I love to
hear her say my name, whether it's in anger or concern, it always makes
unmentionable parts of my body anxious.

	"Mulder!  You know damn good and well this photo could have been
faked.  Look at it. The shadows are all wrong."

I don't look at the photo, instead I shift my gaze to her, pin her with
it.  She's wearing one of her black suits.  It seems some how out of
place here at her apartment.  She should be wearing jeans, or those grey
legging things she's so fond of.  But I've caught her just as she's
gotten home from work and she's not had time to change from Agent Scully
to Dana Scully.

I can't complain though.  She looks great in that suit.  The tailored
jacket hugs her in all the right places.  It accentuates the subtle flare
of her hips and the smooth curves of her breasts.  Her eyes are fixated
on mine now, I can tell she knows I've drifted off to something else. 
That really pisses her off and I'm glad.

	"Earth to Mulder..."

	"I'm here Scully.  Those shadows could merely be distortions from
the developing process," I say taking the photo back from her, leaning in
a little too close.  She tips her head up so she can see my face.  Our
lips are so close, I can feel her breath as it hits my face.

	"You're making me nuts, Mulder?  Let go of this, it's another
stupid
prank and if we follow this up we're going to be the one's to look
stupid."

I place my hands on either of her shoulders.  Admittedly, I didn't follow
her home to argue about this picture.  It was an excuse to be with her. 
Ever since she recovered from the cancer I can't be around her enough. 
Maybe it was that I came so close to losing her, maybe it's because I've
finally admitted to myself I love her.  And because I'm afraid to tell
her how I feel, I'm making up excuses to keep myself in her presence.

I haven't moved from my position over her.  She's standing her ground to
prove I'm not intimidating her, but the fact that I haven't said anything
for several seconds is making her nervous.  I see the fear creeping
around in her eyes.

	"I make you nuts, Scully?  I'm glad we're finally on even ground.
You've been driving me crazy for years," I leer, leaning in even further.

	"Mulder, what are you doing?"

	"Scully, I have a little confession to make.  I didn't come here
to
convince you about aliens and Gulf War syndrome.  You're right, the damn
picture is a fake.  I'm surprised you didn't notice the Quickie Mart
Frohicke failed to paint out in the corner," I point to it and her eyes
go wide.

	"So why are you here?" she asks quietly.

	"God, Scully isn't it obvious.  You keep me at arms length all
the time, and after the...cancer...I keep making up reasons to see you,
to be around you.  I feel so childish...I can't keep doing this.  I came
so close to losing you, I just can't keep pretending...pretending I don't
have these...FEELINGS for you."

I feel her tiny hands encircle my waist and she kisses me lightly on the
lips.  A tear falls from her eye and splashes on my shoe.  I wipe the
wetness away with a thumb.

	"Mulder, you don't ever need an excuse to see me."

XxX

Damn him.  He's done it again.  Barges into my house spouting some
half-baked theory about aliens and conspiracy and I haven't even had a
chance to lose my work clothes.  That's not to say I wouldn't like to
lose my clothes while Mulder was around, but that's never been an option
for me.

Partner, best-friend, whatever the hell he is and has become to me he's
still off limits.  I don't make the rules, I just try to follow them. But
when it comes to Mulder, I seem to have a penchant for breaking them.

He is the most infuriating man I know.  Always spouting off about
something that isn't even remotely plausible and then trying to force me
to believe.  He makes me want to shed my mask of control and hurl things
out the window.  So why is it, when I drift into the soft recesses of
sleep, he's the one I dream of?  Covering me with soft butterfly kisses
and moaning my name.

He's standing over me now, so close...too close.  If I lean forward just
a fraction our lips will touch.  But anger controls me now.  How can such
a brilliant man be so bloody dense when it comes to all things
paranormal?  This picture he keeps waving in my face in one of the more
laughable fakes he's pushed under my nose.  I tell him so and he gives me
some lame excuse.

	"You're making me nuts, Mulder?  Let go of this, it's another
stupid prank and if we follow this up we're going to be the one's to look
stupid."
 
He pushes his face closer to mine.  Suddenly, my anger washes away.  How
can I possibly love this man? He's arrogant, self-absorbed and borders on
delusional.  But his mere presence in a room makes me painfully aware of
him and my feelings for him.  No matter how mad he makes me my heart
always comes back to that.

	"I make you nuts, Scully?  I'm glad we're finally on even ground.
You've been driving me crazy for years."

What the hell was that supposed to mean?  And so help me God, if he get's
any closer to me I am not going to be responsible for my actions. I feel
the heat rise in my traitorous body.  I've done a good job, up until now,
of keeping my feelings locked behind the walls of professional decorum. 
The air crackles around us, signaling the destruction of those barriers.

	"God, Scully isn't it obvious.  You keep me at arms length all
the
time, and after the...cancer...I keep making up reasons to see you, to be
around you.  I feel so childish...I can't keep doing this.  I came so
close to losing you, I just can't keep pretending...pretending I don't
have these...FEELINGS for you."

I'm lost in his words and I give myself over to weakness as I finally do
what I've wanted to for so long.  I kiss him and then the tears start to
fall.  My armor collapses around me.

I feel one of his thumbs brush away a tear.  How could he ever think he
needed to confabulate reasons to see me?  After all we've been through
and all of the things I've accepted about him, surely he knows I'm there
for him no matter what.  I forgive him everything, always.  He has to
know there is nothing he could do to push me away.

XxX

I never can get past her eyes.  People refer to her as distant and cold,
but I would guess they never look at her eyes the way I do.  Her eyes
speak the volumes her lips do not.  One look into the blue depths of
those eyes and I can tell you whether she's happy or sad, angry or
content.

Scully uses words only when she needs to.  She's more of a listener. She
doesn't talk much so that she hears more.  Even with my eidetic memory,
she hears things in suspect interviews I never do.  You could add that to
the list of things I love about Scully.  9 times out of 10, when I'm
talking to her, I have her undivided attention, no matter what's coming
out of my mouth.

She's waiting for me to speak now.  I can look at her face at sense what
she's feeling, but I need to hear the words.  I need to hear she wants
what I want.  We all have the need to love and be loved.  It's a part of
my life I've shut out for so long.  I rejected relationships after Phoebe
and as for the love of my family, I long ago gave up on that.

	"Scully, what do you think of me?  How do you feel about me?"

The questions cause her to shudder and she looks at her feet.  I can
almost hear the thought in her head. 'Don't you know, Mulder?' But that's
not good enough.  The sweet look on her face just now isn't enough.  I am
greedy and I want it all.

	"I need to hear you say it, Scully.  Tell me how you feel."

She draws in a sharp breath and runs her hands up and down my back.  She
looks up at me, the tears have started to fall in earnest now.  One of
her hands circles around and touches my face.  She runs a delicate index
finger along my lower lip.  I kiss it lightly.

	"Mulder...what do you want me to say?" she stammers but I remain
quiet.  She starts to look down but I catch her chin with my thumb and
forefinger, forcing her to look at me.  I lightly kiss her forehead.

	"Three words, Scully.  I think you know what they are."

Her face flushes and she buries her face in my chest, but she pulls back
abruptly.  "You of all people should know how I feel about you.  It's
elementary Mulder.  I wouldn't have stayed with you all this time, stood
by you...I think you know how deep my feelings run for you.  What's so
magical about the words when we have all the actions."

	"I'll argue with you about 'all the actions' in a minute," I
leer. "Scully, please...I just..." my head drops as I feel tears stain my
own face.  Why is this so hard for both of us?

She pushes my chin up and looks into my eyes.  She's wearing a wide
smile, the one that makes me melt.  "Mulder, I love you.  With all of my
heart.  I just never thought it was appropriate to say the words...I
guess I was afraid of the consequences and afraid of how you feel about
me."

Huh?  I just told her I had feelings for her...well I didn't tell her
what kind, did I?  "I love you.  I'm sorry you ever doubted.  I'm sorry
for every stupid, inconsiderate thing I've ever done to you.  I can't
even tell you I'll change.  We both know I won't, all I can do is promise
to try harder, and I'm sorry for that.  But I'm not sorry, that through
all of the shit that has been my life for the last four years, you've
been there beside me.  I know that speaks of your love for me and
I guess I'm truly the one who is shitty at showing you how I feel.  But I
can give you the words and my heart and the promise that I'd never
knowingly hurt you.  I'll even promise you I'll love you as long as I
live.  I know it's not much, but if you'll have me I'm yours."

	"Oh Mulder..." she pulls me tight against her and kisses me with
a fire that burns my soul.  Her lips feel wonderful under my mouth,
almost as wonderful as her strong body pressed up against mine.  What can
I say? I'm a man and I've always loved Scully's body, everything from the
fire red of her hair to her creamy white skin, and everything it covers. 
But what I love most about Scully is the mind and heart beneath it all.
Those things are more sexy to me than any of my wildest fantasies about
her body.

XxX

I never thought I'd say this, even to myself, but fuck protocol, fuck
what's appropriate.  Admitting what I feel for Mulder is just right.  I
guess in the back of my mind I always knew we would wind up here, in one
another's arms.  Mulder would call it fate.  I don't know what I'd call
it, other than love.

I was scared to tell him how I felt.  Those words can be dangerous to say
to anyone, let alone your partner.  And not just because of the rules it
goes against.  Those who would destroy us would find those words very
useful against us.  But deep in my heart, I know we are only stronger for
having said them.  Love, in any form, is never a bad thing.

The truth of the matter is I want this, as much as he does.  I want to
love him and be loved back.  I want to hold him and feel him like I do
now.  I want to make love to him and lose myself in him.  I want to give
him this and I want to give myself this.  I refuse to feel selfish about
it.

Kissing Mulder ranks very high on the Scully list of things she really
likes to do.  I've just decided that.  Feeling his full lower lip caught
between mine is hotter than any fantasy I've ever had about him.  I
plunge my tongue deep into his mouth and we duel, both of us seeking
possession of the other.  He moans softly into my mouth and I feel moist
heat fill my core.

His hands are working on the buttons of my suit.  Mine have pushed his
jacket off of his shoulders and I've steadily begun to work on the small
white buttons of his shirt.  I feel my jacket pool around my ankles and
he tugs the hem of my grey t-shirt from the waistband of my pants.  He
maneuvers me away from him and pushes the garment over my head.  I pull
his shirt down his arms and off.

He holds me by the shoulders and looks at me. His eyes are dark with
passion, the gold flecks swimming in his hazel depths call to me.  I
touch his face.  We both murmur the same thing to one another, "You're so
beautiful."

He bends his head and begins to kiss my neck.  I wonder if men know that
is a sure fire way to get a woman to do whatever they want.  If a man
kisses you just the right way on your neck...well I suppose I should just
speak for myself...I get weak in the knees.  Mulder steps it up just a
notch by placing a warm wet kiss just below my ear.  I hear my throaty
growl just as he traces his tongue along theoutside of my ear.  My knees
start to buckle, but he catches me holding me up.

	"Oh God."

XxX

What is it about a woman's neck?  Lots of men are attracted to breasts
and butts, I count myself among them, but there is something about necks,
especially Scully's.  It's so perfect.  My lips itch to kiss it every
time I see her.  But, I'm learning, what's more arousing than her neck is
the way she reacts when I kiss it.  She lets out this throaty little
groan that leaves her lips and shoots straight to my groin.  If I don't
get out of these pants soon I'm afraid I may bust out.

I trace the outer lip of her ear and she shudders, almost collapsing
beneath me.  I wonder if she has any idea how arousing it is that I'm
this arousing to her.  My mind reels with the fact that something as
simple as my touch can weaken the armor of control that Scully wears so
proudly.  I finally feel like she's truly letting me in.

I slide my hands up her back and unclasp her bra, letting it fall to the
floor with her jacket.  We're both bare to the waist now and I step back
again to look at her.  I trace small circles over the soft curves of her
breasts, staring deeply into her eyes.  She's watching me, her lips are
slightly parted and she's breathing heavily.  I don't think she's ever
looked more beautiful to me than she does now.  I wish I could stop time
here, so I could live in the pure ecstasy of this moment.

It suddenly dawns on me we're standing in her kitchen and as much as I'd
like to take her here on the kitchen floor I think better of it.

	"Scully, why don't we move this someplace more comfortable?"

	"Mmm..." she moves into my arms and licks at my nipples. 
Coherent
thought flees my mind briefly.  I push her back and kiss her on the
lips.

	"Scully...work with me here."

She flashes me that smile again and takes both of my hands.  She pulls me
toward her bedroom.  We stop at the door and I pull her back into my
embrace, kissing the top of her head.  I feel one of her hand run up the
back of my thigh and then around to the front.  She gives me a gentle
squeeze through my pants.

	"Oh God...Scully...at least let me get you to the bed."

XxX

We've barely made it to the bedroom.  I'm fighting every urge I've got to
just rip his pants off and let him take me on the floor.  My mind is a
flood of mixed emotions.  What's happening between us is so intense, I
want our lovemaking to be intense.  Yet another part of me wants this to
last forever, to draw it out until we can't take it any more.

I walk backwards into the room, pulling Mulder with me.  The backs of my
thighs hit the edge of the bed and I stop.  I pull the zipper to his
pants down and slide the button open.  I run my hand inside over his
raging erection.  I want to make him as weak as he made me a few moments
ago.  He shudders and a small cry escapes his lips.

Before I can move again, he grips my shoulders and forces me down onto
the bed.  He releases me and quickly sheds his pants, shoes and socks. He
leans over me and quickly divests me of my pants, stockings and shoes.

I make a move to the waistband of his boxers, but he pins my arms down
beside me and begins to suckle my breast.  My eyes slip shut and I focus
on the feeling of his wide tongue swirling over the hardened tips of my
nipples.  My back arches into him and my hips begin to grind
unconsciously.  My body desperately longs for more contact.

My low moans and sighs urge him further.  He kisses down to my abdomen
and draws lazy circles around my navel.  I growl when he flicks his
tongue into my navel.  He hooks his fingers into the lacy edges of my
panties and pulls the down and off.  His hot breath is hovering over my
center.  I cry out in frustration.

	"Mulder, please..."

He slips a finger inside of me and strokes slowly.  He tells me he wants
me to watch him.

	"I want you to see my face when I see you come, Scully."

I feel myself get even wetter than I already am.  He pushes my legs
farther apart and I feel his tongue flick at the tiny bundle of nerves
inside me.  He circles my clitoris with his tongue and then he begins to
stroke me with his fingers again.  My eyes have fallen shut.

	"Watch me, Scully."

My eyes pop open as he suckles and strokes me, taking me closer and
closer.  He nips at me lightly and slips a second finger inside of me,
increasing the pressure.  My hips are bucking wildly and my moans are
growing louder and louder.

	"Come for me Scully."

He circles his thumb over the taut bundle of nerves again and then
increases the pressure, then he resumes the job with his mouth.  He sucks
hard and I explode.  My inner muscles clench around his fingers and I
scream his name over and over again.  My body is shuddering so hard I
feel shattered.

XxX

The force of her orgasm almost forced me to have one.  I slide my body up
hers and hold her face in my hands.  She's breathing hard and clinging to
me as if her life depended on it.  She's saying my name over and over
again, kissing every part of me she can reach.  Her breathing slowly
returns to normal.  I kiss her forehead.

	"You OK?"

	"I'd say I'm a little more than OK, Mulder."

She runs her hands down my chest, pausing briefly to pinch my nipples. I
shut my eyes and then open them to watch the emotions that are playing
over her face.  The desire and the love are there, but something else.
She seems pensive.  Her eyes are focused on her hands trailing up and
down my chest.  Her look troubles me.

	"Scully, what's wrong?"

	"Nothing's wrong, Mulder...I just...I never..." Her blue eyes
lock on mine, "Mulder, it's never been that intense before."

OK, I can die happy now.  Of all the things women have said to me in bed
before, that's probably the single most erotic thing I've heard.  The
very idea that I could do that to her makes me painfully hard.  I kiss
her roughly.  I want to devour her and be devoured by her.  I want to
slip inside her and never leave.  If arousing her is that fulfilling to
me I can't imagine what I'll feel when she brings me to my own release.

	"God Scully, you have no idea..."

She silences me with her lips.  I feel her hands tugging at my boxer
shorts.  I shift my hips to help her take them off.  She flips us over
and I'm surprised by her strength.  She kisses my neck and suckles my
Adam's Apple.  She slowly moves down my torso, mimicking my earlier
actions on her.

I almost faint when she takes me in her mouth. She swirls her tongue over
the tip of my penis then sucks on it like she did my lower lip.  I cry
out as she takes me fully into her mouth, moving up and down.  I'm
quickly losing control, my body is begging for release.  I tangle my
fingers in her hair and pull her back.

	"I want to be inside you."

Her eyes darken and she moves back up my body again.  She positions her
self above my straining cock and then slowly slides herself onto it. 

"OH Danaaa...yes..."

Her eyes widen at the use of her first name.  I almost never use it, only
when I REALLY want her attention.  Now would be one of those times.  She
feels incredible, she's so tight and wet.  She bites her lip as she moves
along me, not in pain but in concentration.  She wants to please me the
way I pleased her.  She's more than succeeding.

	"Do you like that...Fox?"

	"Uhnnhhh...definitely."

I grasp her hips to gain a little more leverage and increase the
pressure.  We're both moving together now and I fighting to keep my
control.  I want her to come with me now.  I want to share this with her.
 She increases her pace.  I slide my hands up her body and pinch her
nipples.  She throws her head back and moans.

I move my hands back to her hips and with my last coherent thought, flip
her over onto her back.  We don't lose contact and I begin to set my own
pace.  She gasps and writhes beneath me and I'm thankful we're both
nearing the edge.  I lose all control.

XxX

Dana?  He called me Dana.  I can count on one hand the number of times
he's called me that.  Actually, I like it that he calls me Scully.  In a
weird way it shows he respects me the way he would any other agent. Yet,
sometimes when he says it, it speaks more than respect.  It speaks
concern, anger and love.
 

He only calls me by my given name when he wants my undivided attention.
For him to call me that now, in the throes of passion, speaks to a need
to have me totally with him.  The very concept shakes me to my core.

He flips me over on my back and slams into me.  I feel myself reaching
the precipice with him.  I hold on tightly too him murmuring my desire
and my love for him.  His eyes are wild, somewhere between ecstasy and
fear.  He's given himself to me completely and I have given myself
totally to him.  But his poor tortured soul is refusing to believe, even
now.

As I succumb to the waves of orgasm I cry out to him again, hoping his
mind and soul will understand.

	"IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou."

I feel the heat of him flood my body and he roars above me.  His arms are
suddenly rubbery and he collapses on top of me.  I circle my arms around
his back and pull him to me tightly, never wanting to let him go.  I kiss
the lip of his ear and suckle lightly on his earlobe.  He sighs.

	"You have me Fox Mulder, it's all I have to give.  But if you
want it,
you've got it.  I love you, and I'll say the words as often as you want
to hear them.  But the words can't ever do justice to the intensity with
which I feel about you."

	"Scully, that's more than I'll ever deserve."

XxX

The End