TITLE: The story of our lives AUTHOR: natalie E-MAIL: xfunfix@hotmail.com CATEGORY: MSR RATING: angst, NC-17 (for sexual situations) and adult language TIMESPAN/SPOILERS: Mostly through out Season 7 and 8. ARCHIVE: Wherever. Just keep my name, e-mail and disclaimers somewhere around. DISCLAIMER: Fox Mulder, Dana Scully and the X-Files belong to Chris Carter and 10-13 Productions. They are used without permission and no infringement is intended. My only sin is I like them too much. DISCLAIMER II: The following piece of fan fiction contains material not suitable for all audiences. In other words: KIDS, IT'S BEDTIME! No one under 17 is admitted. And non-shippers should avoid it either. No offence intended. SUMMARY: "The only ones that don't fear are the ones that don't love, right? And I love you Scully, I always have." THE STORY OF OUR LIVES _____________________ by natalie Part 1/2 She was sitting in the kitchen when he opened the door and invaded her space. It amazed her how easily his presence overwhelmed her. He was like a fresh breeze and yet so warm and comfortable like no other she's been with. She wouldn't put herself on the line for anyone but him, she said to him once and it was still true. The only difference was that by now she has been many times on that line for him as he has been for her. She remembered the first time they met - a mixture of distrust, amazement, respect and weirdness. She had the feeling it would be something deep and incredible from the very beginning, not to mention their first I-need-you hug. He meant everything to her. He was her protector and endangeror, her soul mate and companion, her touchstone and her *lover*. They have been together for eight years now and she almost lost him once. She couldn't bear the idea of loosing him twice. He hanged his jacket and walked towards her but then he stopped. "Hey, Scully. What's wrong?" he asked seeing her pale face trying to understand what's going on in her mind. She couldn't answer. It was still too hard for her to admit that she could have lost him. They were a strong team together but fragile and vulnerable when separated. Her fears haven't settled down yet. She feared for him and for her son. She knew that he understood her fears and her desperation, sometimes they were like one person, thinking and feeling the same way. She liked this contemplation a lot but that didn't send away her deepest fears - they were something she had to deal with alone, a dark painful path with no touchstones to help her out and him in the end of it, the only guarantee that she would go on and succeed. She plucked up her courage and sent him a little smile that faded away very quickly. "I'm fine, Mulder," she said and looked away. She lied to him again, denying her feelings. That was something she was good at. You actually hide your feelings very well. She felt the need to change, to change for him but it was damn hard. "I don't think so. You are still having those thoughts, aren't you? Scully, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere," he was almost angry at her when she acted like this. "It's been already a three months. You can't torture yourself like this. It's not human!" "I'm not certain about what's human anymore. Not after eight years of weird cases, unresolved phenomena, your unexplained return and my pregnancy," she sounded frustrated and in pain like the day she told him about her discoveries in Africa. He sat down next to her trying to reassure her, bring her again to the "normal" life. He took her head in his hands and looked in her eyes, wiping a tear that came down. Those beautiful big blue eyes that made him forget everything he'd been through, he wondered if he had the same effect on her but now that didn't matter, this was about her. Not everything is about you, Mulder, he told him after the Ed Jerse case and he knew she was right. He could be a real a son-of-a-bitch sometimes, a real fuck-up. He failed many times to reassure her and was a specialist at making her feel angry and ditched. But then, he thought, she's everything he has in his damn life, all the others were gone or dead for whatever reason. The only precious thing. "I know, Scully, but you have to be strong. You can't go on like this, you're not responsible for all the mess we've been through. Don't blame yourself for something you didn't do or failed to do." His voice was calm, almost a whisper. She looked at him silently, letting his words heal her damaged soul. He had the power to give her strength and hope. I have the strength of your beliefs. He was such a gift to her and she thanked God for having him back among the living. She remembered all the nights she lusted for him, the night she actually *had* him and then his painful disappearance. "Why don't we go out for a walk? Your mom can take care of Will, I'll call her. What do you say?" he grinned and looked hopefully at her. "Okay," she said with a sound of relief, "let's go for a walk." It was raining outside but that didn't matter. She very much missed days like this. Just being together because they wanted to, cherish their mutual love and trust. It was like a ritual, something sacred and eternal. Yes, she liked being with him, she loved being with him and that's why her fears were so great and inexplicable. "Feeling any better, Dana?" he asked her. "Yes, thank you," she answered. She liked it when he called her Dana. It was like sharing an intimacy that was just theirs. All trough the years she has always been *Scully* but after that night when they made love to each other he began to call her by her first name sometimes. She did as well. It sounded somehow more intimate, more private, like exchanging their feelings to each other. "Dana, why don't you talk to me, share your burden with me? It'll be easier for both of us. Why do you always keep me guessing? I can't read your mind as much as I'd like to," now he was the one who was frustrated. "Mulder..." she whispered not knowing what to say next. "Please, Scully, I need to know, " he was almost pleading her, "don't push yourself away from me now that I'm back, now that I need you most." That stricken her right into her heart. She has never thought of it in that way. He seemed to be so self-reliant and confident that she never sensed his need for her. She knew how fragile he could be but never gave it a lot of thought. "Mulder-- I'm sorry. I really am sorry. It's so hard to understand everything we've been through lately. It's...I'm so scared for you and William. Loosing you both would be unbearable-- I just can't stand it, " there was a moment of silence. "Stand what, Scully?! For God sake, I'm not a stranger, I'm your partner!" "I can't..." she was crying know, "I'm afraid of loosing you again." So, now it was out. She said it finally. She looked in his eyes and searched for an answer. He can't be so calm, she thought, but he was. Since he came back he could be extremely calm that it surprised even him. "I know, Scully, I fear it too and it's logical after all. The only ones that don't fear are the ones that don't love, right? And I love you Scully, I always have," she heard him saying, "and now that I have you here I don't want to give away any other minute that is left." He stroked her cheek and looked her right into her eyes. He was satisfied with what he saw there. Relief and love. He put his arm on her shoulder and they walked back to her apartment. Both calm but still uncertain of what's to come. End Part 1/2 ****************************************************************************** Part 2/2 When they entered the apartment they saw Scully's mother reading a story to William. It was a very cute scene seeing the two of them together. When she heard them entering the room she turned and faced them. "Hey, guys! Already back?" she asked in Mulder's direction, "is there something wrong, Dana?" she sounded worried. "Mmmm...no mom, I'm ok. You can go now. Could you just...could you take William with you?" Scully flushed a little when Mulder gave her the *look*. "Sure, I'm not going to take away from you any other minute. Have good day," she looked at both of them and gave them a quick smile. Dana felt herself flushing again. She took some things for William and left the apartment. When she closed the door Mulder turned to face Scully. "You know, you're incredibly sexy when you flush. I'd like to see you flush more often. And possibly naked. Do you think you could do this for me?" Now, is it possible to flush from head to toes? Because Scully did. "Mulder..." she was genuinely red and disturbed. She didn't need to say anything else. He was already all around her. He took her in his arms and in one swift motion unzipped her jeans without touching her where she wanted him most and took them off. She was already moaning in his ear. Then he went all the way up to her white blouse and unbuttoned her first two buttons. He placed two butterflies kisses on her neck and traveled all the way down to her breasts but then he stopped. "What?" she sounded disappointed. Her body aching for his touch and then without words he lifted her and headed for the bedroom. Her room was clean and neat as always. Her mother even changed the sheets today. White as snow and cold as hell she thought when he lay her down on the bed. "Stay here. I'll be right back," he ordered her. "Mulder! Why do you always have to complicate things?!" she sounded disturbed again though deep down she liked this let's-do-something-weird. After all, it was just Mulder and weirdness was part of his character, his beautiful mind. He didn't answer her. She heard him go in the kitchen and open the fridge. He came back after some minutes with a glass full of ice. He had something wild and tender in his eyes. She was almost scared by it. He sat down on the bed next to her. And then she realized what his intentions were. "Oh, no, Mulder. You don't think that. You can't think that..." she sounded frustrated. "Shhh...just feel, Scully," yeah, like she didn't know what he was going to say. "It won't hurt, I promise," he was teasing her now. He unbuttoned her blouse all the way down, find her naked breasts there and gazed a few moments. He was always mesmerized by this vision. Soft, pale skin against white sheets. His mind was driving hundreds miles an hour. He already envisioned his strong hands on her but he fought back the idea. This was about her and he wanted to give her all the pleasure he could. He steadied his thoughts and looked her in her eyes. Before she could say anything he slid the ice around her mouth and slowly went down to her neck, making small circles. Her breath was becoming shallow. Her breasts full, nipples erect, waiting for him. He felt his jeans getting tight but he wouldn't stop. He circled around her nipples. The cold ice against her warm flesh was almost unbearable. He proceeded lower, her belly twitching under his touch. She knew she wouldn't stand it for a very long time. She was breathing heavily now, and was torn between making him stop this torture and making him keep whatever his was doing now. He could be very persistent in his tasks and she knew that about him, but the fact he could have such control in lovemaking when she was almost at the edge and when all of her ex-partners would have finished by now, well, this was something she admired about him. It meant a lot to her, it meant that he loved her with his whole being. She felt his hand slid under her panties and caressing her there. She took a deep breath and grabbed his arm. "Mulder, please...I can't take it any longer," she was hardly breathing. "Now, now, Scully. Please what? You need to be more specific if you want to get what you want, " his voice was low and husky. He placed the glass on the nightstand, and returned to stroke her lower belly. "Muldehh, I can't...you're driving me crazy," she could hardly speak. "I know. I like seeing you loose control," he placed his hand on her side and took one nipple in his mouth. "Oh, god..." she was loosing control, indeed. For him, for what he was doing to her. He continued his sweet torture by taking her other nipple in his mouth and biting it lightly, taking good care of it, licking and nipping all over it. He proceeded lower and lower, placing soft kisses all over her belly, until he met with her pubic hairs. Her insides were melting. No one has set her on fire like this before, no one has ever taken such good care in the foreplay as he did. She was ready to let go, but she knew he wouldn't stop. Not yet. "Muldehh...please," she was far gone, "I can't take it much longer. You are...uhh...killing me." "What do you want me to do?" he knew that will set her on fire even more. "Mulder, I think you now pretty well what...ahh...I want...oh,god..." she knew he wasn't satisfied with her answer. "Details, Scully, details or you won't get anything. You know, it's not the first time we're doing it." "I can't. Don't do this to me. You know what I want. Don't be cruel," she was starting to pleading and he didn't want to ruin everything with his big mouth. Her legs were already spread, waiting for his touch. He lowered himself some more and licked her inner thighs. She was making small pants. He found her clit and took a long lick over it. He felt her quiver and relax under his touch. Little moans escaping her lips. "Ohgodohmygoddon'tstopohyes," she was going to loose her mind. He sped up his motions even more. "Oh, Muldehh..." her fingers where tangled in his hair and moved in his rhythm but he didn't want to end it this way. He stopped and stood up. Scully felt like dying. "Mulder! What are you doing?" Sweet torture, she thought. That's so typical of him. "I want to come with you," simple words said it all, "take off my clothes." "Oh, Mulder..." She stood up reluctantly and with trembling hands shifted his T-shirt. His body was magnificent as always. Strong muscles and soft skin. She put a hand over his chest and kissed his nipples. He gasped for air, yeah delicious torture. She went down and shaped him trough his jeans, low moans escaping his throat. Finally, she freed him of his clothes and he lay on top of her. Sweet abandon. Nothing to think of and his words "feel me, Scully" when he pushed into her did it all. She was transfixed by the movement of his body. He kissed her firmly tracing her hips with one hand and slipping the other between them, finding her swollen clit. He rubbed her, once, twice, quiet aching pants dancing in the air between them. She could barely think. "Ahh...Muldeh..." she was almost there when he changed position. He grabbed her hands and shifted her in his arms, so she could rest on his hips. "You like to torture me, don't...ahh...you?" she gave him a dizzy look and began to move very slowly with him. "Yeah, but I know you like it too, right?" he looked her right into her eyes and saw a hint in her look. Oh, yeah, he thought, she likes it a lot. He sped up his motions and held her firmly. They were both far gone. "Yesss..." he hissed and released his grip. "God, Scully...you are so soft, so beautiful." He passed his hand through her hair, kissed her on her forehead and lay down on the bed with her. "I love you, Mulder," that's all he needed to hear. They stood like this for some moments both regaining control of their thoughts. They were a funny and erotic vision. Arms and legs encircled, both sweaty and breathing aloud. "You know, Scully, your mom it's not gonna be away forever." "Why? Are you ashamed of having a sexual life?" she knew that would irritate him and she just loved him being irritated. "Well, as long as you insist I can always tied you up and leave you here naked. So we'll se who's ashamed!" Yeah, he pushed the right button. "You would really do that?" she gave him that little devilish look. "Yep, but I wouldn't leave you alone. That's for sure." He smiled and pinched her on the belly. She let out a little giggle and pushed him away. "You know, Mulder, I liked you from the very first moment I saw you," her face suddenly saddened, "I don't know what I would be doing if I hadn't met you that day. Eight years ago. It's a long time-" "Scully, hey" he interrupted her, "I know exactly what you mean. I don't know if I could trust anybody else. You made me strong in my beliefs with your ever-challenging rationalism. You saw it, you heard it, why can't you feel it? You made me the man I am now and only God knows how grateful I am for that day, eight years ago. There were times when I thought you should leave the X- files and leave everything else behind. I know I kept pushing you back but that just because I feared for you. I..." he couldn't go on. There were tears in his eyes. "Shh, that's okay, Mulder. I know you. Look at me. And I trust you with all my being." She took his face in her hands and kissed away his tears. But it was too much even for her. They cried together. Tears of relief, of all the pain they went through and joy of being back together. "We are a mess Scully, do you know that?" She began to laugh at his words. "Yeah, but that's just us. The story of our lives," they hugged each other and rested some more. The story of our lives, thought Mulder. Yeah, I like the word "our". He looked at her, admiring how brave she could be and yet so small and gracious when she wanted to. He closed his eyes and fell in deep sleep. Later in the afternoon, Scully's mom came back. She loved her mother for being so sensible and understanding. Now, when she had her own family, she loved her even more knowing all the sacrifices she has done and all the pain she has suffered. And Mulder, now her partner in every meaning, she loved him too. You are my constant, my touchstone. That was a fine day, she thought and lay down on the couch with him and their son. THE END ______________________________ So, folks, that's it. Hope you liked it as I liked writing it and remember that feedback of the constructive nature is always welcomed at xfunfix@hotmail.com. I can't wait to see what you think but just be aware that's my first shot.