From: "Satina" To: Subject: [XFNC17ff] NEW FIC: Tension, M/K, NC-17 Date: Wednesday, November 27, 2002 7:03 PM Tension by Shannon Kizzia and Satina Website: http://hegalplace.com/ Rating: NC-17 Pairing: M/K Category: SRHA Feedback: Sure! Date of First Posting: 11/27/02 Archive: Please ask. :) Disclaimer: They are sooooo ours, thankyouverymuch. Spoilers: none Summary: Mulder's in need. Alex does what he can. Note: As usual when I collaborate with Satina, I do Krycek point of view to her Mulder. This story got written because my beautiful woman was melancholy the other night, so I started writing this for her to cheer her up. I'm happy to say it seemed to work really well. So good that she decided to add her own voice to the end, and I'm so glad she did because it's just perfect. I hope you all enjoy it. Satina, my love, thank you for just being who you are and for your wonderful love. I hope this makes you happy for years to come. :) ........................ "Jesus," Mulder muttered, rolling his head on his neck and producing some resounding pops. "You okay, Mulder?" Alex asked. They'd been sorting through files for hours, staying long after five o'clock. Alex had two paper cuts, one from Swamp Thing, X-1284903, and one from Strange Green Forrest Killer Bugs, X-3382005, filed under S for Strange. His stomach growled, protesting not having anything since that Nutrigrain bar at 4:30. It was now...he looked at his watch...9:06. But he didn't sigh dejectedly, didn't ask if they might be done so he could go home. Mulder wanted to sort through files, so Alex did, too. Alex had been gathering his things to leave with the others from the bullpen when he asked Mulder what his plans were for the evening. When Mulder had said he was going to try to retrieve some of his old files from the basement to go through, Alex had offered to help, excited both because the cases were facsinating to him and because being around Mulder's energy when he was working through one of those cases was exhilerating. He hadn't hesitated to offer his services and Mulder's astonished silence before accepting was reward all on its own. Alex smiled to himself, remembering. "Did I already give you the one on...uh...the one...?" Mulder stumbled, eyes squeezing shut, possibly trying to stave off a headache. "You mean the, uh..." Alex looked through his different piles of files and picked one up to wave at him. "Freaky Twin Girls?" "Yeah. That's it. Thanks." "You sure you're okay, Mulder?" Alex asked, concerned. "Yeah. Let's just finish this," Mulder answered on a tired sigh. They worked quietly for half an hour more, Mulder handing Alex an X-File in disarray and Alex sorting through it, putting it in order, and then filing it away. "Fuck," Mulder exclaimed suddenly, a frustrated hiss, throwing a pile of papers to the side of his desk. "What is it?" asked Alex. "I just wish..." Mulder started under his breath. "What do you wish?" Alex asked, setting aside the file on astral projection. "It's nothing. Forget I said anything." "No, really. I want to know," Alex said, laying his hand softly on Mulder's arm, withdrawing it when Mulder looked at it, though Mulder made no move to remove it himself or ask that it be removed. Then he sighed again and shut his eyes. "Sometimes I just miss the organized disorder of my office. I just...I miss it." He looked at Alex finally. "You know?" "Yeah, Mulder. I think I know." Mulder looked down to where his partner's hand had been on his arm, looking almost meditative, seeming to make some kind of private, mysterious decision on a short, quiet laugh while looking at his shirt sleeve. He looked back up at Alex. "You wanna get out of here?" Alex looked at him, wide-eyed, and nodded. He didn't let himself smile quite as big as he would have liked. .................. Alex was on his third beer and Mulder on his third shot of tequila when the bartender announced last call. "Goddamn, is it really that late?" Mulder asked, smilingly lazily over at Alex. Still the smile didn't quite reach his eyes. It hadn't all night, Alex thought worriedly. Alex looked at his watch. "Looks like it." "Do you want another one?" Mulder asked, getting out his wallet and looking at Alex, eyebrows raised. "Uh, no I think I'd better stop," he answered, but Mulder raised his hand for the bartender's attention. "Another?" the woman asked. "Double," answered Mulder. "You gonna be okay to get home?" Alex asked. Mulder took a moment to answer, looking into Alex's eyes with a bemused glint to his own. "You worried about me, Alex?" "Well...I don't...I guess maybe a little," he answered, lashes lowering. "You can drive me home then," Mulder answered, and Alex felt Mulder's eyes on him as his cheeks turned pink before Mulder looked away and took a healthy, deep swallow of his drink. ................... "I had fun tonight," Alex told him, putting the car in park, feeling somewhat silly for the remark, but wanting Mulder to know he'd enjoyed spending time with him...so that maybe some other evening he might offer again. Mulder sat with his seatbelt unbuckled, looking down at the jacket in his lap, a small, sad smile gracing his lips. "I, uh...I did, too. Thanks...for the company. I don't...I don't spend time with...people much." "Anytime," Alex answered. They were both silent, Led Zepplin's sexy, bluesy guitar playing "Communication Breakdown" while they each waited for Mulder to go in. "Well," said Mulder. "Well," said Alex. "Good night, Alex." "Good night, Mulder." Mulder opened the door and started to slide out before turning back. "Would you like to come up for a drink?" he asked. Alex looked at the console, seeing that the time read 2:34 AM. He knew he had to work the next day. He knew he'd had enough to drink. He knew Mulder had probably had too much. "I'd love to," he said, and Mulder smiled slowly, nodding finally and shutting the car door as Alex got out. ................. "Will your car be all right at Casey's?" "Don't worry about it," Mulder told him with another pop to his neck as he rolled his head to the right, throwing his jacket in the direction of the coat rack and missing, walking into the kitchen. "All I have is about a quarter of a bottle of Absolut." When Alex was quiet, Mulder turned to look back at him. "That not good?" "No! That's...that's perfect. Thanks." Alex tried not to get too excited about the portent of Mulder having his favorite drink, and only his favorite drink, on hand. "Okay then," Mulder said, turning back to the kitchen. "Have a seat then. Make yourself comfortable." Alex took his coat off for the first time that night. He pulled at the knot in his tie, hesitating before he went ahead and took it off over his head, laying both articles over Mulder's computer chair before taking a seat on the couch. "I hope you like it close to frozen. My fridge is broken and set on super fuckin' cold," Mulder said, placing Alex's shot-and-then-some in front of him before taking a seat on the couch himself. "Cheers," Alex said, holding up his glass. "Cheers," Mulder answered, a melancholy shadow over his eyes, his voice lacking any conviction for the toast. But they both drank, Alex setting his glass down on the table half-full still, Mulder finishing his off first. Mulder set his glass down next to Alex's and then linked his hands behind his neck and bent his head low to his chest. "Is your life...what you want it to be, Alex?" he asked softly, not looking at the other man. "I guess, um... I guess I can't honestly say that it is, no." Mulder nodded contemplatively and then shifted his hands to cover his face, breathing through slightly parted fingers. "Is yours?" Alex asked gently, leaning in a little more, the leather creaking. Mulder didn't answer other than to just barely and slowly shake his head back and forth in the negative. Alex sat for a moment, digesting this new information about his partner, nodding absently, eyebrows drawn down in a sympathy Mulder couldn't see. He sighed. "Have you always had trouble with a stiff neck?" Alex asked, changing gears, making Mulder lift his head from his hands to look at the man next to him. "It's worse just recently, why?" "I could work on it for you." At Mulder's guarded gaze, Alex continued. "I studied Seifukujitsu and Swedish massage for a while. I'm not licensed. But I like to think I'm pretty good with my hands." And then when Mulder hesitated, "C'mere." He tried not to hold his breath in anticipation. Tried not to withdraw the offer before Mulder had a chance to reject it. Mulder looked down at his lap, face a mask of indecision. "Look, it's okay if you don't..." Alex started quickly. "No." Mulder stopped him, still looking at his hands. And then he looked up. "I want to." Alex caught his breath seeing the sad need in the other man's eyes. And he nodded, scooting back into the leather of the couch, making room in front of him. Mulder moved in slowly, cautiously. "Here?" he asked, looking at the space in front of Alex and Alex spread his legs apart a little more. "Yeah, that should be fine." Mulder settled between Alex's legs like he was lowering himself into a scalding bath. "Try to relax," Alex told him, laying his hands carefully on Mulder's shoulders, feeling him twitch nervously and involuntarily. "Take a deep breath," Alex told him, voice hushed and soothing. Mulder did as told, closing his eyes, inhaling and exhaling audibly. "That's good," Alex said and started gently kneeding the place between his neck and shoulders. Mulder took another deep breath and then another as Alex began to work. "That's good," Alex said even quieter, almost in a whisper. His heart had begun to race. Alex started pressing deeper with his thumbs between Mulder's shoulder blades and Mulder groaned, immediately stiffening up in response. "Relax," Alex whispered, this time closer to Mulder's ear, and he felt the other man start breathing again, deeply, his shoulders dropping another two inches, muscles losing their tension. "Do you have pain here sometimes?" Alex asked, pressing on either side of Mulder's neck, working his way up toward his hairline. Mulder nodded slowly, languidly, his jaw going relaxed, lips parting on his next breath. Alex scooted in closer behind Mulder, keeping his pelvis back a little from the other man's buttocks. "This a good pressure?" he asked, kneeding up some more, brushing Mulder's hair with his knuckles incidentally. Mulder shivered. "Uh huh," he answered without moving his slack lips. Alex peered around Mulder's shoulder to catch a glimpse of his face in profile. Alex's lashes fluttered as he took in his partner's features in repose, and then he went back to working his way down Mulder's neck. He squeezed and molded his way out to his shoulders, rubbing the muscles there and rocking Mulder gently forward and back with his ministrations. Mulder moaned again, this time staying relaxed and letting Alex work the tension from his body. Alex's breathing deepened, became more audible. He rubbed his way down Mulder's back, taking his time with the tight knots between the scapulae and taut cords on either side of his spine. Mulder let his head hang forward, giving over to his partner's touch. Alex went lower still to Mulder's lower back, thumbs circling hard now, dipping down into the waistband of his slacks. Mulder got very quiet, not quite tensing up, waiting. Alex took a breath and then carefully and gently started pulling Mulder's shirt out of his pants. He almost held his breath, waiting for Mulder to stop him, but Mulder never did; he just stayed quiet and still. And then Alex reached his hands up inside Mulder's shirt and touched his hands to his bare back. He held them there briefly, just feeling the heat of Mulder's skin, letting Mulder feel him, and then he started circling his thumbs on his lower back again, not quite touching the hard swells of Mulder's asscheeks. Alex closed his eyes, mouth coming open, not quite believing that Mulder was allowing this, but so grateful that he wasn't telling him to stop. Mulder's skin felt so good, his strong muscles melting under Alex's hands. He continued rubbing back up Mulder's back, once again pushing hard enough to sway Mulder forward and back. He stroked his whole hand in widening circles, fingers flexing around Mulder's sides, pressing between ribs, grabbing and squeezing as much as massaging now. "Unnn..." Mulder moaned, his head rolling back, the sensual arch of his throat making Alex start to sweat. He swallowed convulsively. He molded Mulder's skin and muscles, bringing his hands back up to his scapulae, fingers working almost at Mulder's armpits, and Mulder moaned again, mouth open. Alex bit his lip and, not changing his hard caresses, scooted forward the last little bit so that his pelvis, his erection, was up against Mulder's ass. Mulder gasped quietly, but didn't open his eyes and when Alex kept rubbing at his back and sides, Mulder let out yet another throaty groan. Alex felt his cock grow thick and long against Mulder's ass at that sound. His breath became short and studdering, and he moved his face closer and closer to Mulder's neck as Mulder leaned his head farther and farther back. Finally, with little-to-no room left between their bodies for Alex's hands, Alex quietly slid his hands around to Mulder's chest. And as he did so, Mulder let his head drop back the last two inches to land on Alex's shoulder. "Unnnn..." Mulder breathed, arching into Alex's touch as Alex held and squeezed Mulder's pecs, feeling the tight nipples in the palms of his hands, disbelieving. Alex bent his head in and breathed against Mulder's arched neck, working his hands lower along Mulder's tight abdominals, gently thrusting his hips against Mulder's ass, letting himself moan as well now, one hand meandering back up to Mulder's chest, trying to be everywhere, feel everything. Mulder laid back against Alex's chest and let himself be moved by Alex's hands and Alex's restrained thrusting. He licked his lips, but left his mouth open and Alex watched with half-closed eyes, his lips just barely skimming along Mulder's jaw to his ear. And then slowly, cautiously, feeling Mulder's heavy breathing moving his hand up and down, Alex slipped his one hand down over Mulder's ribs, his abs, his belly, down gently into the waistband of Mulder's pants, into his underwear, down until just the tips of his fingers bumped Mulder's erection, and Mulder gasped and stilled. Mulder's head stayed back against Alex's shoulder and Mulder's breath was the only sound in the room as Alex crept his hand down, just barely skimming his fingers down Mulder's hard cock, before finally closing his fist around it and squeezing. "Ahgod..." Mulder half-moaned, half-whined, and Alex fairly growled into Mulder's neck as he started pulling. "Unnnn!" Mulder shouted, arching against Alex as Alex started thrusting unabashedly against Mulder's ass as he worked Mulder's cock. "Unn! Unn! Unn!" Mulder moaned high in his throat, and Alex's eyes almost rolled back in his head at the power of making him sound that way...completely unable to be inhibited now, almost totally out of control, undulating against Alex, his need resembling pain. Encouraged and turned on almost to the point of coming himself, Alex began working Mulder's dick fast and hard, feeling Mulder harden further in his hand. He held Mulder back against him with his free hand and felt aroused tears prick the backs of his eyes, his own cock tingling from the stimulation of being rubbed against Mulder's ass. "Ahgod!" Mulder yelled and then held his breath. Alex gasped and worked the cock in his hand faster. "OHGODYEAH!!" Mulder yelled, cock swelling and then exploding in Alex's fist, his hips jerking. "Uuuuuunnnnn!" Alex felt Mulder's cum spurt over his knuckles and fought to control the whine that came from his throat and failed, closing his eyes in absolute ecstasy. He stayed still, feeling Mulder breathe against him, opening his eyes to peer fearfully at Mulder's flushed face. While Alex watched, Mulder's hand came down gently on his wrist, fingers curling around it. Mulder kept his eyes shut and lifted his head off Alex's shoulder, catching the last of his breath. "I'm..." Mulder began, but had to swallow and start again. "I'm not gay, Alex," he said quietly. Alex breathed against him for several long moments and then slowly and awkwardly let go of Mulder's softening dick and drew his sticky hand out of his pants, scooting back away from Mulder and to the side, erection still tenting his own work slacks. "I'm sorry," Alex said, looking down at the hand that had just jerked off Fox Mulder. "Sorry," he said again, but this time in a whisper. ................. Mulder let Alex's wrist slide out of his grasp, watching his cum-spattered hand withdraw shakily. "Alex," he started, then sighed heavily. "*I'm* sorry," he said, his head bowed. "Mulder," Alex breathed, "I should go." "No, please," Mulder whispered, tears hovering in his voice. He felt movement behind and to the side of him as Alex silently wiped his hand on his slacks. "No one's made me feel that good in a long time," he went on, still whispering. Alex didn't say anything, just shifting a little on the couch. The creak of the leather was deafening. "I want to..." Mulder stopped, biting his lip, then slowly turned, shifting around until he was partly facing Alex. "I want to make you feel good, too," he finished softly, looking away. Alex gasped, eyes fluttering closed. "What do I do?" asked Mulder in a hushed voice. "I told you, I've never done this before." Alex bit back a sob. "You don't have to do anything, Mulder. You don't owe me anything." "No," said Mulder, voice strengthening with resolve. "I told you, Alex. I want to." He reached a shaky hand forward, fingertips nearly grazing Alex's tented crotch. "Oh God," gasped Alex, struggling to keep his eyes open as Mulder's hand approached his fly. They both watched its slow, careful progress, Alex's hips bucking slightly as Mulder took hold of the zipper on his pants, brushing it down over the twitching erection underneath. Alex inhaled sharply as it crested the tip of him, then let out his breath in a long, slow, shallow and shuddering sigh as the zipper was lowered the rest of the way down. Mulder scooted a little closer, not daring to look at Alex's face, only looking down at his hands as one of them steadied itself on Alex's hip and the other pressed down under the waistband of Alex's white briefs, immediately encountering the hot, silky, leaking erection trying to push its way out. Alex let out a cry as Mulder clumsily encircled the top of the shaft and the crown in his fist and squeezed. Mulder found himself drooling as he watched his hand begin to jack Alex, and his breathing sped up. "I know this is kind of awkward," he said a little breathlessly. "Can you come this way?" He finally chanced a quick look up at Alex's face. Alex's eyes were squeezed tightly shut, his mouth open on hitching gasps, tears sparkling in his lashes. Mulder gasped and felt his own cock stir to life again. "God...you're beautiful," Mulder breathed in an amazed voice, as if only just discovering it. Alex's brows arched and he thrust hard up into Mulder's clumsy hand and came, sobbing. Mulder watched, not breathing, eyes wide. Alex's body slowly relaxed back down onto the couch. When Alex seemed fully relaxed, Mulder slowly, carefully withdrew his hand and wiped it on his pants. He sat and studied his partner's face; the long, dark lashes, the tears still caught in them, the tiny tracks at the corners, the dark hair, sweaty and falling over his forehead and nearly into his eyes, the tiny, turned-up nose and the soft, sweet, pink angel- lips. He felt himself leaning forward slightly and decided to go with it, still not breathing. Just as Alex's dazed eyes fluttered open, Mulder closed his own and pressed his lips against the ones right in front of him. "Mmm!" Alex cried out against his mouth, then immediately melted into the kiss, eyes closing, arms coming up to wrap themselves around Mulder. Mulder hesitated a moment, then parted his lips just slightly, mouthing at Alex's soft lips. "Mmm!" Alex grunted again, moving his lips against Mulder's but not deepening the kiss. Finally, Mulder couldn't remember why he shouldn't want to, and he opened his mouth, sliding his tongue between Alex's immediately pliant lips. He leaned in harder against Alex, holding himself with his hands on the couch to either side, pressing him back into the leather, kissing him deeply and sighing. Before Alex could fall all the way onto his back, Mulder broke the kiss, licking his lips and blinking, pulling away. He'd never *kissed* a man before, either. It was *so* not what he'd expected. "Mulder," Alex whispered, half-leaning back on the couch, pants still open, hands coming to support himself at his sides. Mulder just stared at him, taking in his kiss-swollen lips, tear-spiked eyes, sweaty hair and flushed skin. Alex blinked and fidgeted slightly under such intense perusal but made no move to get up or even fasten his pants. Mulder looked down at his softening cock and spoke. "I'm not gay," he said again, and Alex's eyes closed, his brow furrowing. "But you're different." Alex's eyes fluttered open. "I don't know," Mulder mused to himself, still staring at Alex's cock, which had begun to soften, but now twitched a little. "Maybe I'm bisexual." He finally looked up at Alex's face, and Alex huffed out an exhausted, amazed laugh. "We have to be to work in three hours," he went on, and Alex's small smile faded and he made his first attempt to sit back up, reaching for his fly. Mulder scooted back, watching as Alex did up his fly with shaking hands. "I just need to use your bathroom," Alex said softly, avoiding Mulder's eyes. Mulder nodded, watching as Alex stood up from the couch and walked across the living room. He stared at the door as he listened to the sounds of Alex using the facilities and cleaning himself up. He'd known his new partner had a bit of a hero-worship thing going on. When he'd started picking up on the fact that Agent Krycek touched him more than the usual that was expected between men, he'd found it ironic, and figured he'd use the kid's attraction to him to bolster his own flagging mood and self-esteem. After all, he wasn't even sure any of this was sincere, that the new rookie wasn't playing him for all he was worth. He'd had *no* intention of letting it go so far. But it had felt *SO* good. Better than he'd felt in *years*, truth be told. Maybe better than he'd ever felt. And afterward, he'd felt so guilty that he'd used this young man, led him on, made him believe he was attracted to him to the point where he'd gotten a wonderful handjob out of it. But then, as he'd begun to reciprocate the attentions, he'd begun to wonder if he *had* been leading Alex on. After all, when simple touches, looks, and words had his heart beating faster, and the thought of the kid's hands on him made him start to question his own sexuality...well, that wasn't faked. That was attraction. And when he'd made Alex come and then sat there, staring at his panting, sweaty face, he'd found it one of the most beautiful things he'd ever seen. These thoughts coursed endlessly through his brain as he tried to decide what to do now, before Alex came back out of that bathroom. Maybe the impression he'd had of Alex's stunning beauty had just been post-orgasmic bliss, and now that he'd come down off his high and seen Alex in the light of reality, he'd remember that his young partner was a man, and he wasn't attracted to men, and this had just been a drunken indiscretion. Yes, that was it. Alex would walk out and Mulder would simply see another man, not the object of his puzzling desire, and it would be hard, but everything could go back the way it was. Mulder would explain that he'd been drunk and out of his mind and that he hoped this wouldn't become awkward between them. He frowned and took a deep breath, standing just outside the bathroom ready to see his male partner to the door. Alex exited the bathroom, raking his hand back through his hair and licking his lips. He froze when he saw Mulder waiting, looking at him, blinking. Mulder took in the deep, dark, intense eyes, so open and scared and vulnerable, the soft lips, still slightly swollen from their earlier kisses, and the now-spiky hair where Krycek had finger-combed it, trying to get it back into the smooth control Mulder had gotten used to seeing. After a few very awkward moments, Alex bit his lip and stepped around Mulder, going to the chair and retrieving his jacket and tie, donning the former and balling the latter into a wad and shoving it in his pocket. He walked over to the door, and Mulder silently followed him. "Guess I'll see you in a few hours," Alex said quietly, looking up from under his lashes awkwardly. "Aren't you forgetting something?" Mulder asked, brows arched. His heart pounded. Alex glanced around the room, then down at the keys in his hand, frowning. Mulder took a deep breath, making another big internal decision. "You're not going to give me a ride to work?" Mulder asked, stepping in. Alex's mouth dropped open, and Mulder quickly leaned in, sliding his hand around the back of Alex's head, pulling him in for a kiss. Alex didn't have time to either open or close his slightly-parted lips before Mulder pulled back with a sigh. "C'mon, Alex. If we hurry, we can get a couple of hours sleep." He smiled at the stunned look on his partner's face, then turned, trailing his hand behind him. He smiled more widely when he felt it taken. He led his new partner into his bedroom, wondering if morning sunlight was what it was going to take to make Alex look unattractive to him. As he turned and began to undo the buttons on Alex's cheap poly-cotton dress shirt, he doubted it. End Feedback appreciated at shannon@hegalplace.com and satina@hegalplace.com