From: "Shannon" To: "whispers list" XFilesNC17ff@yahoogroups.com Subject: [XFNC17ff] The Other Side NC-17, M/Sc/K, 3/3 Date: Tuesday, September 10, 2002 1:23 AM The Other Side by Shannon Kizzia (shannon@hegalplace.com) Website: http://hegalplace.com/shannon/ Rating: NC-17 Way. I mean it. Keywords: M/K, M/Sc, Sc/K, M/Sc/K Oh my! Category: SRHA (That S stands for SMUT, by the way. Smut, smut, and more smut. Look out!) Archive: Sure! But not without its siblings: "And Then There Were Three" and "Dead of Night." Spoilers: None First posted: 9/10/02 Summary: "What are you doing, Dana?" I ask her hand and it squeezes. "I'm getting you for Mulder." Notes: This is the sequel to "Dead of Night". I hope it lives up to it. If you haven't read DoN or its parent fic, "And Then There Were Three", you can find them on my website. Dedication: I don't want this to sound flippant because, let's face it, I mention them both in my notes almost every time. That said. I dedicate this to my loves. Through good and bad, you are my family. I choose you. Thank you for choosing Us. I love you. Disclaimers: Scully, Krycek, and Mulder...are MINE DAMMIT! I'll go down fighting! I will! Don't f**k with me, Carter! ....................... "Turn over." "Mulder..." "I know. I'll do it slowly. Please... Please, Scully." She looks over her shoulder at me as she rolls onto her stomach. Her hair falls over her face in soft, chaotic curls. Her lips are in their perpetual part. I let my eyes cast down. I let myself see her body, all creamy curves under me, breasts heavy, the points of her nipples red from being worked in my mouth. The slide of waist into hip into ass, then legs, smooth and rubbing against each other gently before gliding apart as she lowers her eyes in submission. She rests her forehead on her hands, rolling completely onto her stomach, and I lift her ass a little. She breathes deep, trying to relax. My cock twitches with the certain knowledge of its destination. I bend down and kiss between her shoulder blades. She jumps and then softens, sighing. Her whole backside is sensitive. I mouth down her spine, knowing she feels each kiss pull at her clit, her breasts. I dip my tongue into the crevice of her ass cheeks just below the base of her spine. "Do you want to do this with him?" she says, turning her head so I can hear her. She's breathy, turned on. "What?" I ask, lips hovering, not bothering to pretend I don't know who 'him' is. I want to have *her* under my mouth. I want a taste of her. "Would you use your mouth on him?" I ignore her questions at first, continuing to lick high between the inviting mounds of her ass. I'm not stupid. Neither is Scully. I've been in her ass more often lately than in her pussy. I know she's perfectly aware of my motives, this particular kink, my growing need to...have something that remains, for now, out of my reach. This is definitely not the time to start airing the kinky laundry. Not now when she's ready beneath me and I can almost feel my cock filling her even now. Scully, I'm almost there. I'm ready to be there. Inside. Lost. Falling. Inside you. Tight inside you. Safe. "What difference does it make?" I say between tonguing bites of her plump cheeks. She moves under me, an aroused fidget. "I want to rim you. I want you to come with my tongue in your ass." "Nnnngod..." she whines, pushing against the pillows, lifting her ass to my mouth. "Mulder... Wait, Mulder." I flick my tongue against her opening and she gasps on a mewl. My cock stiffens more at the sound. It's her mating call. Her come-fuck-me sound. My dick knows it and responds in kind. "No," I tell her, knowing as well that she likes it when I take charge. "Nnnnn...nnnooo..." she cries, shifting under me in an attempt to either get away or impale her small hole on my tongue. I'm never sure which. And it doesn't matter. She knows she's not getting away. "Yes," I tell her, lapping at her now. She clenches against me for a few seconds, holding her breath, before that magical thing happens and she lets me in. I push and prod at her relaxing opening and she gives. I enter her and begin a tender, rhythmic thrusting that I know she likes. "Mulder!" "Mmmm..." I hum against her, changing my angle, enjoying the experience of rimming Scully as much as she does if not more so. Here, I am in control. Here, I know who I am. "Fuck...you...Mulder," she gasps and I can't help but chuckle against her. I'd love to answer her; I always have a quip ready for something like that, but I think at this point she'd pull her gun out and shoot me if I stopped. So I delve into her hot little ass over and over until she's bucking back into me, crying with frustration, trying to take her release against my face. I grip her cheeks in both hands and push them together slightly, tightening her hole around my tongue and fucking her as deep as I can. "Ohshitohshitohshitohshit..." she whines, giving up all the hard-won control she keeps herself under. When she comes, she presses herself back into my mouth and grinds. She shudders and cries. They are real tears that later I'll kiss away. She whispers that she loves me. So much she loves me. "Mulder, love...love you, Mulder..." I take my mouth away from her and press the side of my face to her back. When I breathe enough to come down from the high of giving Scully an orgasm, I become aware of the burning nuisance my cock has become. I still haven't had enough of her. I leave a parting kiss on her pale ass cheek and move higher up her back, taking myself in hand and lining myself up with her pussy. She quickly lays a hand on my forearm, stopping me. "What are you doing?" she asks. "Well, I thought I'd engage in sexual intercourse with you now, Agent Scully," I answer. "No. Shut up. Why are you doing it there?" she asks, still somewhat breathless and not a little annoyed with me. "What?" "Why not in my ass?" she asks plainly, turning her head to catch my eye and holding it. I think for a moment. "I guess... I guess I just thought you'd want it this way." She's quiet, looking at me. "Don't you like...?" "Of course I do," she says quickly, stroking my forearm. "But... This isn't about me and you know it." "What do you mean it's not about you?" All this talking isn't good for my dick. I start to go soft. Scully notices and comes up on her hands and knees, reaching one hand between her legs to grasp my weakening erection. "I mean, Mulder," she purrs, pulling at me languidly. "I know you want to fuck Krycek. You want him so bad. I want you to have him, Mulder. So why don't you?" I feel the blood rush back between my legs even as my brow creases in confusion. My mouth opens to speak, but all I can do is moan as Scully jacks me with slow confidence. "Scuh... What do you mean...Scully?" "I mean," she says, positioning me at her ass again. "Have me like you want to have him. Let yourself want it, Mulder. Let yourself have him. Take me." Oh Jesus. I shudder involuntarily against her at the thought. I have to close my eyes. She's too beautiful there on her knees in front of me, offering her body. But when my eyes are shut, that's when I see him. Alex. I can still feel him penetrate me. I remember how I quivered against him. How good...how bad it was. I was. I never meant to make myself vulnerable to the one person who could destroy me. But I did. I let him fuck me. Hell, I kissed him when I came like it was some romantic movie. With his slick, hard cock in me, I melted like a school boy. I became somebody I've only let myself be with Scully. Maybe not even then. I let him in in more ways than one. And it was unbelievable. It wasn't what I thought I wanted. But it...he...was perfect. And now I want to return the favor. Getting in Krycek's ass has become my new obsession, in fact. It's not entirely healthy. Particularly since I don't know when I'll get to see him again. Or if I will at all. He seems to have disappeared back into the woodwork. Whether to do his work or to forget about Scully and me and what happened between us, I don't know. I'm afraid to know. And afraid I'll never know. Goddamnit, I miss the fuckhead. How screwed up is that? I open my eyes, now misted with tears, and see Scully before me, looking back over her shoulder, holding my dick patiently. I don't think I can say it yet...voice my need. I'm just thankful she knew and seems okay with it. I look into her eyes and nod my assent. She smiles at me, licking her lips, and turns back around, placing her hand back down under her, dropping her head. "I'm ready when you are, Mulder." Did she throw her voice down an octave on purpose? I blink and gulp back my trepidations. I can have this. It's okay to have this. Since I can't have him. She said I can. She's going to let me... "...be in your ass... Can't wait to be in your ass." With my eyes still shut, I guide the head to her hole. She wants it like I want to give it to him? Then she'll take it that way. I push until I penetrate the tight muscle. She gasps. I hold still and stroke over her ass with my hand. "Oh yeah, baby. You want this? Huh?" "Yeah. Want it." "I know you do," I say and push into her up to my balls. "Nnnnaaahhh!" "Mmm," I grunt, eyes still closed. I wonder if he'll want it slow first. I'm not small, so probably. "How you like that? Huh? That feel good?" "Yes." "Oh yeah. Feels good to me, too, baby. So good." "Don't...talk to me, Mulder," she breathes. "Talk to him. Talk to Alex." I pet her hair away from her neck. "You sure?" "Yes. Do it." I nod even though she can't see me. I pull out and slide back in. I picture his sculpted back, the muscles contracting. He pulses around me. So tight I almost can't believe it. "Oh fuck," I exclaim. I'm close. I don't want to... I start fucking, feeling Scully push back into me, taking it. Taking me. "Oh yeah. Take me. Take me, Alex. Goddamn..." I whisper. It's so good. Feeling her. Thinking about feeling him around me. Alex's tight ass. I can almost feel him. Almost hear him tell me he's going to come... "Kruh...oh god...ahhhhh!!" I thrust into him hard and he takes me. He takes me and takes me until I have no more cum to come and then I collapse. .................... "Do you remember if that La Quinta Inn was forty-nine or fifty-nine dollars a night, Mulder? We seem to have lost the receipt." I'm distracted by my glasses slipping down my nose so I don't notice right away that he's not paying any attention to me. When nothing greets me but silence, I turn my gaze on him, looking over the rims of my glasses at him as he sits at his desk playing with a pencil. "Mulder." He pouts at the eraser. "Earth to Mulder. Are you on Reticulum?" I lean back in my chair. My blazer is slung over the back and my white blouse is sticking slightly to my collar bones. It's been two days since our air conditioner broke down. Maintenance likes to take its time with us down here in the basement. It'll be tomorrow afternoon at the earliest. I sigh, recrossing my legs under my demure, navy Petite Sophisticate skirt. I noticed that after Mulder and I started having sex, he'd get easily distracted by some of my shorter skirts -- (He's a leg man.) -- so I've taken care not to wear them as often. In the interest of the work. I pick up a piece of scratch paper, crumple it into a ball, and throw it at him. "Wha? Hey. What was that for?" he says, coming out of his stupor. "I just thought you needed rescuing from whatever perverse fantasy you were engaging in," I say with a smirk. He picks up the paper and throws it back at me, catching me on the shoulder. I let the corners of my mouth lift up, then take a breath. "What's the matter, Mulder?" "Nothing," he says too softly, eyes drifting to the desktop, surveying nothing in particular. I just stare at him until his eyes come back to me. "Nothing? Mulder, you've been distracted all day." "No, I haven't." I stare at him again. "Okay, well forgive me if expense report day doesn't get me all hot and bothered." "You think I'm having fun here?" I ask him, raising my eyebrows incredulously. "You don't have to tell me what's wrong, Mulder, but try if you could to give me a hand so that we're not both here until the security guards go home." He pouts again for a minute and then turns his hound eyes on me. "I'm sorry." I soften my expression and my tone. "It's okay." I wait a moment, not sure if I should just drop it. "I just want you to know you can talk to me if something's bothering you." He gets a wry smile on his face. "Not okay with me boffing and then ignoring you? I always knew you were a selfish woman, Scully." "Very funny." He looks down at the desk and I wait out the pensive silence. "Do you think he's ever coming back?" I take a deep breath again. When Mulder starts a conversation, he usually skips the preambles and niceties that others inject to reduce awkward tension. It's something I love about him. He cuts to the chase. He is genuine to the extreme and knows no other way to be. "I think... I think he needs time just like we do." Mulder knows I don't know anything for sure. But he also knows I won't lie to him. It's my honest opinion. He nods, processing this. "Do you think it's okay to...?" "Miss him?" He's quiet. "Want him?" He shoots me a 'well duh' quirk of the lips. I smile back, crossing my legs again. And then I really look into his exquisite, soulful, hazel eyes. "Need him?" He says nothing, but I know I've hit it. I get up slowly from my chair and walk over to him. "Agent Scully, if you're going to try to take advantage of my fragile state and commence fraternizing in our office, I'm afraid I'll have to report you to Assistant Director Walter Skinner," he says, trying to lighten the mood. "You should be so lucky, Agent Mulder." "Yeah, I keep making wishes every night before bed. Maybe I should try a different star." "Well, it seems to be working during our off hours, wouldn't you say?" "Yeah, I'd say it's working just fine," he says, leaning back in his chair and giving me a warm, horny smile. That one gets me wet every time. Not that I'd ever let on at work. I do value my job and my reputation, or what's left of it. I reach my hand out, an atypical display of affection from me, and touch his face with the palm of my hand. "He'll be back," I tell him. He looks up at me and then nods rather half-heartedly. He doesn't buy it, but he's done talking about it. "Anything I can do to make you feel better?" I ask suggestively. I thumb his lips and smile down at him. He tries to keep pouting, but I see a hint of a smile peek through. I walk back over and get my jacket. "What do you say we get out of here?" I ask. "What, now?" "Yes, now. C'mon, Mulder." I put my jacket on and pick his up off the coat rack. "The powers that be can wait. Let's go." "You know what I like," he tells me and I smile. I'm going to do everything I can to make everything all better. ...................... "Ohgod! Ohyeah! Alexohyou'resotight..." He's in me again. I'm on my back with my thighs bent into my chest, my knees over his shoulders. He's doing my ass and calling me Alex. He's calling me Alex and I'm trying not to come. I want to last. It's so hard. I'm so hot for it. "Oh Alex... Oh God move on me like that. Oh fuck yeah." He's whispering, grunting, eyes shut against me, but his body is a part of mine. His cock rips into me time and again. He rocks me backward on the bed like I weigh nothing. In this position, I'm compromised. He can do to me what he wants, take me any way he likes. Apparently he likes it a little on the rough side. My ass burns and aches, but it's good. I happen to like it that way, too. Alex will soon enough. "Give it to me, Krycek," Mulder growls. "Gimme...that...hot...ass...unnnn!!" I bite my lip to not cry out. I grunt back, releasing my overwhelming arousal through a means that is not particularly feminine or at all delicate, but that feels just as right to me. It's liberating. I find myself grunting on his every push inside. "More," I growl. "Shit," he whimpers. He's on the verge of coming. I look up at him to see him grit his teeth. "Fuck..." It was easy to get him to call me Alex again. All it took was a couple of Coronas and me putting on Mulder's leather jacket to go to the store. He stopped me at the door, pushing me up against it, nipples and right cheek connecting with the scratched wood, his dick connecting with the soft flesh of my ass. he'd asked, breathless already. I nodded and that was it. We stumbled into the bedroom, fucking each other's mouths with our tongues as we walked. He pushed me down on the bed. He stripped my clothes off violently and I loved it. He pulled my hair hard to tilt my head and bare my neck, and he sucked at me while he fumbled between my legs for the right hole. And now here we are. Diagonal on the bed. Fucking. It's some of the best sex I've ever had. As good as when I'm me and in some ways better. I can let go. I can let him do this to me. I have no responsibility whatsoever. I'm not a doctor. Not an FBI agent. Not a woman and a feminist, deserving of respect. I'm an assassin. I can fuck who I want. I can fuck any *way* I want. I don't owe anyone any apologies. I'm getting my ass nailed good. I can come screaming and all I've got to worry about is a sore throat. "You wanna come?" he asks me. I'm too out of my mind to answer. My clit hurts I'm so ready. I'm frigging myself furiously as Mulder shoves himself inside my ass. Suddenly, I feel a stinging slap to my slightly elevated buttocks. He spanked me. Rather hard. Hard enough for me to yelp. "I asked you a fucking question." I moan. I can't think past how close I am. My fucking clit is buzzing. "How close are you?" "God, right now. If you want me to," I say, groaning. "All right, you hot little piece of ass... I'm gonna shoot into you. You ready? You ready for me, baby?" "Yesssssss!" "You better come, you little whore." "Ohfuuuuuck!!!" I yell as I begin spasming, my rectum squeezing tight to his cock, my clit fluttering beneath my faltering fingers. "Alex!!!!" he yells, coming too. He pushes into me a few more times before he stills and my knees slip off their slippery perch on his shoulders. I hiss, my hips protesting. Mulder lifts his head immediately. "You okay?" His voice is full of concern. "I'd say I'm quite a bit more than okay," I smirk. He looks down at me as he often does after sex, just taking in my face. Maybe this time he's looking for a hint of the man he just fucked. Slowly, a pleased, sexy smile spreads across his face. "You're incredible, you know that, don't you?" I don't know what to say. I've been trying to practice my bantering skills so that he's not the only one tossing around innuendo all the time. I have no answer now. His immediate awareness of me as...me...kind of throws me for a loop. He looked down at me, and, in seeing nothing of Alex Krycek beneath him, he wasn't the least bit disappointed. "Scully?" he asks. "Don't you mean Alex?" I'd meant for it to be funny, but his smile fades. "Don't think for a second I didn't know who I was with." He strokes my face, waiting for me to show that I get it. I tilt my head, tears building unwanted in my eyes. I'm having trouble looking at him now. He leans down and opens my mouth with his. His tongue circles mine, warm and sweet and confident. When he releases me, my tears are gone. He's smiling at me again. Mischievous now. "Is it okay that I slapped you?" "Oh, *now* you ask?" I pretend to wrestle with him and he pretends to subdue me. Now I'm smiling at him, too. "Yes, it's okay, Mulder." "I was afraid I'd hurt you. Or you'd hit me." I mock punch him in the shoulder and he mouths, 'ow' and cradles himself. "I liked it," I admit. "I liked all of it. A lot." "Good. So did I," he says, petting my hair out of my face and resituating his pelvis between my thighs. I wipe his hair out of his eyes. "Maybe..." "Maybe what, baby?" I raise my eyebrow at him and he shoots his shit-eating grin. He loves to test my endearment threshold. "Maybe," I start again, "we wouldn't have to...stop once he..." "Comes back?" "Yeah," I answer, blushing. He smiles broadly at me, now, that being my answer. "Let's get in the shower," he says and pulls me up off the bed. ..................... Fifth beer. A German stout. Wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. Catch the bartender's attention. It's not hard. He wants me. He won't get me, but I'll give him a fat tip. He's been attentive to my alcoholic needs. A cute, blond, shirtless twink gyrates his slim hips over to me to the grinding beat of "Head Like a Hole". He smiles at me. I barely look up from the caramel foam. "I'm not interested." He pouts briefly then slides away to the other end of the bar where another brunette in black leather sits waiting. Guy's good looking. Bet they'd be hot together. I don't have the energy to care much. Another thick, brown beer is set in front of me and I take a sip, thumbing away the foam again. I feel a small man sit down on the barstool next to me, but I don't look up. I'm vaguely annoyed. I picked this bar because it's off the main strip; it's not Angles or Montage or Flicks. It's only half full at eleven o'clock. And now some schmuck's gotta take the stool right next to mine when there are four more farther down. "I'm not interested," I tell him, a little too forcefully. "You sure about that?" My head jerks up at the sound of her voice. What is *she* doing here?! She smirks at me and I cover my shock quickly. "What do you want?" I ask, turning my attention back to my beer, but not before taking in her appearance. Tight black jeans. Black v-necked t-shirt, showing off her breasts. Wonder bra, definitely. And to top it off a very sexy black leather jacket. It's not his. I know his. This is all Bad Dana. I don't know if she's trying to impress me or intimidate me. I'm a little of both. "Good to see you, too," she says dryly. I drink my beer, not ready to admit that when I saw her my heart fucking leapt. She sighs next to me and signals the bartender. He saunters over. "I'll have a shot of Sauza, please," she requests. "Lime and salt?" he asks. I see her shake her head out of the corner of my eye. Hardcore, huh Dana? I have to admit. It's nice. We sit in silence while he pours. A Jane's Addiction song I've always liked comes on. Three Days or Three Lovers or Three...Something...Treefrogs, I don't know. I just know I've jacked off to it before. I wonder if she'd excuse me for a little while to go help myself out or if she'd consider that terribly rude. Maybe she'd realize it's meant as a compliment. Scully picks up her shot glass and holds it up. I take her cue and clink my glass against hers in a rather pathetic toast to nothing in particular. She throws hers back and I take a long swallow. I can't bring myself to look at her again when I put my glass down. "So?" I ask and then feel bad for being short. "How have you been, Dana?" "*We've*...been all right," she corrects softly. "Sometimes a little less than all right. You?" I nod into my drink. She's too beautiful to even look at. And she gets him. Even smells a little like him. I wish she'd just leave me alone. I can't go back there. I'm not idiot enough to think he'd accept me just like that. He's gotten his rocks off over the threesome thing, another man fucking his woman, getting done by a guy... It's over. He doesn't really want anything more. Even if that's what I thought when I looked into his eyes. Those eyes... "I've been all right," I tell her, and *I* wouldn't even believe me with the way I said it. But I can't tell her how I have been: drinking like a fish, turning down ten men a night, getting in fights, getting thrown out of bars at midnight, sleeping in seedy motels because like the song says, cheap is how I feel. I may have fucked her, but Scully and I aren't that close. "Alex..." she says, tenderly. "Alex, he misses you." I laugh humorlessly. "What?" she asks, leaning in a little. I glance down at her breasts. I figure she's gotta expect me to look, so I allow myself to gaze as she continues. "You think that's bullshit?" That gets my attention and I look up to her dark eyes. "You should know, I don't bullshit, Krycek." I nod noncommittally. She doesn't get it; I *can't* believe her. "Then why hasn't he...?" "Called?" she asks incredulously then laughs. Yeah. True enough, Scully. "You're not exactly listed, Alex, and besides..." "Besides?" I prompt. Loquacious I'm not. At least not tonight. Not without Mulder's fist in my face. I actually almost miss it. And by almost I mean beyond the shadow of a doubt. "Besides," she sighs. "He's waiting for *you*. He needs it to be you." I'm just processing this when she says, "Good thing I don't." I'm looking down when I see her graceful hand touch down on my thigh. "What are you doing, Dana?" I ask her hand and it squeezes. "I'm getting you for Mulder." I look up at her, for the first time tonight allowing myself to look half as shaken as I feel. I let my lips part. I let myself study her face. Her soft, knowing smile. "Why?" I ask quietly. "Because you're what he needs." Unbelievable. Just plain unbelievable. "And..." she starts again and her hand slides up my thigh experimentally. "I..." Her breathing has quickened. I look up to see her watching her own hand. Her chest heaves with her excitement. I don't know that Dana Scully needs me, but it's certainly becoming apparent that she still wants me. My half-hard cock goes rigidly erect above her hand. I hear her breathless, low chuckle. "I was beginning to wonder..." "If you could get me hard?" I ask, it being my turn to look incredulous now. "If I still wanted you?" She looks up into my eyes. "Finish your drink." "Why? Where are we going?" I don't think I can handle Mulder after two months away, after I've let my self-doubt eat at me like cancer. "Does this place have a bathroom?" she asks, looking around. She takes my hand and stands up and I look down at my drink and back up to her. "Relax, Krycek. I'm just gonna suck your dick." Scully's gonna... Suck my... I allow her to pull me up and drag me through the three couples gyrating against each other on the dance floor. So I don't have to deal with Mulder tonight. At least not yet. It's just gonna be me and Scully. Her mouth around me. Her tongue... Oh shit. What am I doing? We're in a gay club, for fuck's sake. I'm going to let her go down on me in a gay club? In a fucking bathroom stall? I look down at her ass swaying as she walks ahead of me and decide that hell yes I'm going to! Fuck! I'd be an idiot to turn her down. Right. Looking at her full, round, fuckable, lickable, adoringly perfectly delectable ass, I decide that it's not even really a decision. It's my duty, goddamn it. She pushes open the door to the men's room and I lick my lips. She pulls me into the big stall and slams the door shut but not before I catch the bemused stares of the two men groping against the sinks. Jesus. I'll be fucking banished for this. The song's still pounding through the speakers. All drums and hard driving guitar. All sex. Scully spins us around so her back's against the wall and takes no time with gratuitous foreplay, sliding to her knees in front of me, keeping her big, round eyes locked with mine. Her mouth is already open. Good God, I hate Mulder. How often does she go down for him? I'd probably only get harder imagining her doing this for him, even with the accompanying jealousy, but she doesn't give me a chance. She unbuttons my pants, spreading her knees so she can brace herself against the wall. I move in between her legs. She rips my jeans down my hips to my mid-thigh, jostling me with her roughness. I let her, just staring down at her, eyes heavy with wanting her. She pulls my briefs down, too, and I lean in gracing her lips with my cock. "I don't want to suck you," she says, and the way she's already licking me with her eyes belies that. My brows crinkle in confusion. "I want you to fuck my face." It is totally an involuntary response to throw my head back and groan. I hear her rustling in front of me and I bring my head back up and brace myself with one hand on the wall over her head. I'm suddenly breathing like I've run five miles. She's stripped off her jacket and thrown it to the side by the toilet. She rips her shirt over her head, tumbling her hair into disarray. She looks down to her breasts, barely concealed in black lace, and then looks back up at me. "Off," I demand and she doesn't look away, her eyes hard, as she unclasps her bra from the front and shimmies it down her arms, arching her back in the process. I can't help reaching down and grabbing one of her soft, warm tits in my hand, the nipple cradled in the web between forefinger and thumb. She arches into me, head banging back against the wall, arms down by her sides, palms flat on the wall behind her. Her knees slide out wider on the white tile floor, the crotch of her jeans stretching tight, the waistband dipping to reveal the soft, pale, round of her stomach just above her panties which I can see the top of. They're pink. It makes me want to tear them off and fuck her instead of letting her stay on her knees. She gasps and I realize I've squeezed too tight at her tender flesh. I slide my hand up her chest, her throat, into her hair. I leave my other hand on the wall as I ease my cock closer to her mouth. "Open your eyes," I tell her quietly, letting her know gently that it's still a demand. She lifts drooping lids to see my erection just within her tongue's reach. She watches it as the tip enters her mouth. And then she flits her lashes quickly and peers up at me. Jesus fucking Christ, does she *know* what she does to me? She leans her head forward, touching her fingers to the naked flesh of my ass, urging more of my cock into her mouth and I remember what she said she wanted. I keep a tight hold of her hair and push forward, thrusting into her mouth and making her head thud dully against the wall once more. I go almost all the way in and she groans, her hands falling away to grab at the wall behind her again, closing her eyes only momentarily, before looking back up at me. It's almost a pleading look. I pull back out of her mouth, letting her suck the tip of me and swallow before I push back in, hips languidly thrusting forward, hand holding her head...her beautiful fucking hair. How does Mulder keep his hands out of it? I start a rhythm, going slowly in and out of her mouth, stretching her lips, feeling each of her moans. Soon, unintentionally, I find I'm pushing myself all the way in to the root. And she's taking me like she knows how. Like she must take him. Before long, I'm staying almost all the way in, just grinding in against her face, circling my hips and feeling her tongue circle me in turn, taking my cue. My hand makes a claw against the wall and I squeeze my eyes shut, gritting my teeth. "God...nnnnnnuh! You're so...so..." She hums against my sensitive skin, vibrating me. "Good!!! Oh God Dana so good!" Close. Oh Jesus, I'm close. "Gonna come," I tell her. She doesn't pull away. She just moans again. And again. And then she's trembling and yelling around my cock, eyebrows drawn down, head banging against the wall. She's... God, I think she's coming. I take another three undulations into her and then I'm there, mouth dropping open, head too heavy for my neck as I feel myself lose it between her lips. "Ahhhh!....oh fuck yessssss!" She sucks at me, hands coming back to my ass. She strokes and squeezes as she cleans me off and I lean my head against the wall. As I catch my breath, she releases my cock and wilts down to the floor, recovering as well. She licks her abused lips and pushes her hair back off her face. I push off the wall and pull my pants up. As I button, I look down at her and she looks up at me. We share a silent moment. I don't know what she's thinking. I don't know what *I'm* thinking. I don't know why she did this. I'm not sure if it means anything. I offer her my hand. She doesn't take it, pushing off the floor on her own, swiping up her shirt, pulling it on, stuffing her bra in her pocket and then slinging her jacket onto one arm and then the other. She straightens it, a ghost of a satisfied smile on her face. "Speechless, Alex?" Entirely too smug, Dana. Two can play, I decide, and grab her behind the head, hauling her into me, mashing my lips to hers before I open them and take her mouth, her tongue, her breath; I practically eat her. If this floor weren't so hard and cold, I'd lay her out beneath me and do the job right. Repay her. Instead I break the kiss and let go of her. She leaves her eyes closed for several seconds and when she opens them, they're a shade bluer. "Speechless, Dana?" She actually smiles at me. Teeth. I don't think I've ever seen her teeth. "Did you...?" I start to ask impulsively. I was going to say 'come', but now it seems like the most egotistical question ever. "Did I...?" she prods, tilting her head. I take a breath. Fuck it. "Come," I say. Her smile turns dangerous. "Buy me a drink sometime and I might tell you." Fair enough. I smile back but her smile fades and she reaches out and takes my hand. She looks into my eyes and I have the feeling she's about to change my life or something. "Soon," she says and I remember Mulder's voice saying that word to me. "Come back." Her eyes plead with mine to understand. I hesitate. I don't want to make false promises...obligate myself to a task I can't take on. But... I think about not seeing him again. And I can't. I nod and look down. She touches grateful fingers to my face. "Thank you," she says and I don't watch her leave. I just hear that the song has changed to something unfamiliar to me. I feel light-headed and I lean against the wall. Soon. Too soon. And never soon enough. ..................... I almost hang up. I'm so close my hand is trembling. Her distinctive hello. A faint accent I can't quite identify. Like maybe she spent quite a lot of time in England as a child but has lost everything except a strange lilt to the words 'hello', 'sorry', and 'room'. Yeah, I listen to Scully. I pay attention. She doesn't yammer like Mulder. Every word she says is important, chosen. She's efficient. She's honest. Succinct. "Hello?" she lilts again. "Dana. It's Alex. Krycek." There's a pause. I know he's there with her. "Hi. Uh...hold on a sec..." She covers the mouthpiece of her cell and makes some excuse to him. Moments later she's speaking softly to me. "What's going on, Alex?" "I've been thinking about what you said." "Go on," she prompts gently at my pause. I rake my hand through my hair and sigh, closing my eyes briefly. I look around to see if anybody's waiting for my payphone. The 7-11 is pretty dead this time of morning. "I want to see him. If it's still okay." "Of course. Of course, Alex. Should I get him?" "No! No," I repeat, more under control. "I just want to see him." "See? Do you mean...be with him, Alex?" "Yeah. Yes." I take a deep breath. "I want to be with him." "Good." I can almost hear her relieved nodding over the phone line. "Tonight?" "Yeah, Dana. Tonight." "It's the right thing, Alex. I know it's not easy for you to trust...but he does need you." I don't know what to say in return. All the options seem trite as fuck. Thanks? I hope you're right? "Alex." "Yeah." "There's...probably something you should know. About Mulder. About...this." "Go ahead," I tell her, both intrigued and nervous. "Alex... He has a lot of anger toward you still. He... The past is still with him where you're concerned. He's let you in, but..." "But what?" I understand what she's saying. It's not news or anything. I think I know what she's getting at, but I want to know for sure. "Mulder needs to be able to take out some of that aggression on you, Alex. I'm not saying it's going to be like it usually was with you two, but... He's going to be rough, Alex. He may need to...hurt you a little." She pauses to gauge my reaction, but I wait to give it. "Is that something you can deal with? Does that change your decision to come over?" If she only knew how much easier she just made it. "It doesn't change anything," I say with a confidence I'd only pretended before. I can't say this to Scully, but Mulder's not going to have to *take* his aggressions out on me; I freely give myself to the deed. I want to give him what he requires of me. I want a reckoning. So I can come home. "Seven o'clock?" she asks somewhat shyly. "Yeah." "Alex?" she asks after a pause in which I was contemplating if saying the word good-bye would seem horribly normal and ridiculous. "I know this is about the two of you. I don't want to... If you don't think I should..." "Be there?" "Yeah." "I think you might be necessary, Scully." "How so?" "You may have to shoot him in the shoulder for me," I say, half-joking. There's a moment when I think I may have gone too far, when I'm not sure if the past is all too present for her, as well. Then she does that thing she does instead of laughing. "Just know. I'll leave if you need me to. Okay? It's okay." I nod and look around once more. "I gotta go." "All right. We'll see you soon, Alex." I hang up then take out thirty-five more cents and put it in the phone, dialing the car insurance number I get off a nearby billboard. An annoyingly fake-happy man answers the phone and I hang up. Then I stuff my hands in my pockets and walk away. The word echoes and resonates like it has off and on since it was first said. Soon. Soon. Soon... .................... If the Syndicate could have seen me primping in front of the mirror for him tonight... I get out of the elevator, chin ducked to my chest, looking left and right as I exit. I wasn't followed. I wasn't. I know how they do it and I know how to ditch them. There was no one to ditch tonight. No red lights to run in order to lose whatever mute, go-fer killer they send for me. I was so preoccupied looking for the bastard, I got here without really thinking about what I was coming for. And now I'm here in Mulder's hall. Walking. And now I'm stopping. I'm in front of number forty-two. No sounds come from inside and I start to wonder if Scully told him and he bailed. I clench my jaw, my mouth tightly shut, and make a fist in my jacket pocket as I reach out my other hand to knock. I don't let myself hesitate. Like pulling the trigger. My brain says knock and I do. I hear a footfall that is too fast-paced to be Mulder's. She opens the door. She smiles at me. She looks beautiful as ever and I feel a moment of peace looking at her and the way she's looking at me. Thank you, Scully, for that. "Who is it?" I hear Mulder call from the living room. I barely have time to want to reprimand him for being so lazy, for obviously not considering that it could be one of the many people who'd like to see him dead and buried and out of the paranormal picture. Scully stands back and lets me in. I take one step and I see him there on the couch, leaning forward, peering into the foyer. His mouth opens on frozen speech and a thousand unnamable things filter over his eyes. Then he jumps up and starts very purposefully walking toward me. What Scully said rings in my ears and I have a quick flash of a vision of Mulder back-handing me into the hall. I take one step backward, which Scully sees. "Mulder!" she says sharply, warningly, and he stops. He looks at her, dumbfounded for a moment, and then turns his eyes back to me. To my eyes. I'm back in his eyes. My breath catches, Goddamnit. I look from him to her and back again. He swallows, hands tense and out a little from his sides. "What are you doing here?" he asks me. So she really didn't tell him. I open my mouth to answer, but Scully intervenes. "I asked him to come." He looks at her. He looks indignant at first. Affronted. Then his eyes soften and he nods almost imperceptibly. "Come in, Alex," Scully says and I see Mulder take a deep breath. I take one cautious, creaky step into the room, out of the doorway. Scully closes it behind me. My heart beats hard and fast against the cage of my ribs. "Mulder," I say by way of greeting. He clears his throat then pauses, making me wait. "Alex," he says finally. I look uncertainly in Scully's direction and she takes a small step back. I take that as my cue and do what I've only been brave or crazy enough to do in my dreams. I walk forward. Slowly. Surely. I watch Mulder panic briefly, his face tightening, his eyes darting to his partner then back to me. Still I walk. I don't stop until I'm almost right up against him. I watch his lips part. I hear them. Hear his rapid breath. And I reach my hand out. I touch his jaw. He flinches but doesn't otherwise move. I hold his eyes with mine and curl my hand around his head. I tilt mine, fingers sifting slightly through his soft hair, careful not to make any sudden moves. "I think we've got unfinished business," I tell him in a near-whisper. He swallows again and I drop my eyes just for a moment to watch his Adam's apple shift. Then I blink and look back up at him. I want to take that last step in. But I don't. I wait for him. And as I wait, I just bask. I'm touching him again. He's letting me touch him. He tears his eyes away and looks over at Scully, so I do, too. "Do you want me to go?" she asks, eyebrows raised, face open and caring. I feel Mulder tense as he looks at her, not saying anything. "Mulder, it's okay," she soothes. "This was my idea. Please... Be with Alex. I'll be fine." She smiles and Mulder lets out the breath he was holding. Then he nods. He nods. I stop myself from making a fist in his hair and hauling him into a ten minute kiss. He may be ready to fuck me long and hard, but I doubt my foolish romantic notions have a place here tonight. Scully picks up her purse from a kitchen chair and slings it over her shoulder. "Call if you need me, okay? Otherwise I'll be back in the morning." "Scully..." Mulder starts, reaching a hand to her. She evades him gently, continuing to the door. "Tomorrow." She opens the door and I hear the slight smile in her voice as she departs. "Good night." The door shuts. And we're alone. His eyes are dark and clear. I don't know how much longer I can look at him without combusting, so I look down. Suddenly, I feel strange with my hand in his hair, so I let my hand fall down to my side. Almost before it lands on my leg, I feel him reaching for me. "No," he says and his hand falters, not knowing where to alight possibly. "No," he says again but more faint. I watch his hand hit his thigh in frustration. And then he's got my arms. And he's walking me backward until I hit the door with my back. He presses himself against me and I know it's not me who moaned because I've stopped breathing. "No," he says again around a groan and I feel his pelvis fit into mine. Our cocks align through his blue denim and my black. "Nnnnoooo..." he grits, eyes closing as he feels himself press against me. His hands leave my arms to slam against the door, palms flat on either side of my head. He leans his forehead against mine and I let my held breath out in a rush. Mulder breathes against me, body rocking rhythmically, seemingly against his will. I can already hear the next no on his lips, I think. But it's not no. "Alex..." he whispers. Then his head tilts just so and his mouth melds to mine. Ohjesusgodyes, he's kissing me. I part my lips before he can and he whines as he slides his tongue past them, over mine, softly entering my mouth. Every muscle in my body tenses, waits for the assault. The rough push of his tongue down my throat. The harshness of his teeth against my lips, biting down, maybe drawing my blood. The guttural cry as he claims my body as his, using my submission to even the old score. I hold perfectly still as his tongue glides over mine, retreating and then pushing back between my lips. Retreating and then advancing. He's moving slow. Not yet ready to take what's his maybe. Wanting to make me wait for it, fear it, beg for it. I want to be ready, but... I'm getting dizzy with how he's gently working my mouth with his. I breathe into him and he moans again and I find myself wanting...more of this. I want this. This him. This Mulder. And that scares me enough to pull my mouth away. "No," he cries and takes my head between his hands, bringing his mouth down on mine again. Oh *God* it feels good. Better than good and better than anything. He opens my mouth wide, tilting my head back, creating an arch in my throat. He kisses me deep. So deep, but it's so slow and so careful. I feel the passion he's restraining. Not restraining. Focusing. Like his whole world is my mouth right now. God, I feel... I feel... I almost think a very dangerous word, but I stop myself and tear my lips away from his again. "Whassa matter?" he asks breathlessly, head trying still to angle so that he can catch my lips with his. His eyes are cast down, watching. Watching my mouth like a hunter. "Don't..." "Don't what?" he asks, shifting his body against mine, sending sparks along my hard cock with his. I whimper helplessly. "Don't you...want...?" "Want what?" he whispers, lips now moving against mine as he speaks. He's relentless. "Want...to take me?" He looks into my eyes, thumb brushing against my cheekbone. "More than you can know." Then he takes my hand in his and pulls me gently after him toward his bedroom. His grip is warm and tight. He stops next to the bed and turns toward me. He lets go of my hand but only to stroke both of his hands up my body, over my stomach and chest, under my jacket, brushing over my shoulders, sliding my jacket off my arms; it falls to the floor. His hands caress back up my arms, his eyes flitting all over my torso. He touches my shoulders, my chest, before wrapping his arms around me and stepping into me again, pressing firmly in, finally looking into my eyes again, mouth open slightly, expression soft with longing. Just the way he's petting and stroking my back has me both turned on to the point of pain and wishing his touch was more callous, less worshipping, more...the Mulder I thought I knew. "Mulder..." I start then falter, leaving my lips parted, fighting for the words to tell him it's okay to do to me whatever he wants to do. His eyes drop to my mouth again and he lunges in, capturing me, twisting my lips, changing the angle, leaving me reeling, the whole time his tongue lapping at me, tasting me, sucking me, and his hands are back in my hair, holding me to him like I'd even entertain stopping at this point. I know I did before, but I physically can't now. I can't. I'm addicted to his tongue in my mouth. To the taste of it. To being taken in a way I never let myself wish for. I relax every muscle in my body for the first time tonight. I start to sink and his right arm comes around me, holding me up effortlessly. I let my arms come around him, too. I put my hands on his waist and feel his sharp intake of breath. He wraps his lips around my bottom one and pulls tenderly, releasing me finally. "You were saying?" he asks. He buries his face in my neck, beginning to mark me with softly biting kisses, moaning. "Do you have a problem with how I want to make love to you, Alex?" Make love to me. Problem? Is he serious? "No," I sigh. "No problem. I just... I just..." Think I'm going to fall down. The man has an amazing fucking mouth. "Yes?" Right at the earlobe, followed by a lick behind the ear. "Unnn... I just...thought you wanted it to be different. To be...Jesus...rough." He places his lips right at my ear and breathes, "So did I." ........................ So did I. I wanted to fuck his brains out. To hear him scream. And maybe not all from pleasure. I wanted to take and take and take some more. I still do. But I'm finding it impossible to be that way with him. Like how I was before, disregarding his wishes, his physical comfort and safety just to get my rocks off. I just want to kiss him now. I want that mouth under mine all night. Fuck, he *melts* for me. It's so easy. I kiss him and I feel it happen. He's mine. Without my having to take anything from him. I just have to give. I smile against his ear and he shivers. I put my hands up under his shirt, tentatively touching my fingertips to his stomach. His muscles clench and I fucking love it. How can this body which is so similar to mine -- same tight abs...tighter, same hard lines, sprinkle of hair, familiar musky smell -- how can he hold this much fascination for me? I guess it's who I'm touching. Alex Krycek's strong, male body. All that power. Quivering for me. It's beyond intoxicating. "Take it off. Please. I want to see you," I say. I lean back just enough to let him grab the hem with both hands and strip it off over his head. I look down at where my hands rest against his waist. I watch them travel up to his chest. I rub my fingers over his nipples, hear his breathing deepen, fighting for control, and then I continue back up his neck to his head. I pull him to me. "C'mere." I kiss him again. I feel like I could do it for hours. I love it. I... I touch those lips with mine instead of with my fists and all I want to do is...love him. "Lie down," I command gently and he obeys, reclining on his back on my bed, letting his legs hang over the side. I kneel in front of him and take off his boots and socks. It's surreal not to have to worry about finding weapons. I toss the thought aside and start on his jeans. I'm careful not to bump his erection as I draw the zipper down and peel the tight black denim off his hips and then his legs. I pull his underwear down, too, and strip it all off his legs, throwing the unwanted clothes behind me. I close my eyes for a second, trying to take in what's happening. What's going to happen. What I so want to happen but am still afraid of. Then I open them, coming to stand over him, and I see it. His cock. His beautiful cock. Awaiting my touch. "I can't believe you're here," I say under my breath. "What?" he asks. "You're perfect," I tell him, honestly. He is. He was made to be with me. Made to be touched by me, to fit with me. I have to purposefully not strip my clothes off as fast as I can so that I don't terrify him. But I get naked as efficiently as possible just the same. I need to feel that gorgeous body against mine. Under it. I crawl onto the bed, over Alex. I lower myself down onto him, holding some of my body weight off of him with my elbows. I feel so much of my skin come in contact with so much of his skin all at once, I almost come. I don't suppress the shudder that overwhelms my body. "Fuck, Alex," I sigh and I can't help smiling. "Scoot up." He does and I move with him. We bump knees and he hits his nose on my shoulder in the process. "You okay?" I ask, getting settled in our new position across the sheets. "Yeah," he says, nodding, but I lean down and kiss the tip of his small nose anyway. He squirms under me, getting more comfortable, but as he does our cocks rub together and I freeze. "Shit!" I hold my breath through the intensity of the tingling in my cock. "I'm sorry," he says, frowning. "No, it's good," I manage. "It's good." So good I start to rock on him, shifting my weight forward and back on my forearms, grinding us together experimentally. "Unnnnn!" he shouts, throwing his head back. "Muh! Ohgod!" "Oh....yeeeaahhh..." I groan, eyes involuntarily closing. He feels so good. His cock...so hot and hard for me. And so soft. Every stroke feels like this sweet fire along my cock. My eyes are shut and my mouth is open and I'm beyond being able to control myself. I need him. It's several long, fucking incredible moments before I realize he's making these helpless sounds beneath me. "Muh...nnnuh...gonna...ohhh..." I open my eyes and look down at him. He looks tortured. And so beautiful. My hips stop moving and I close my mouth to swallow. A tear squeezes out of his eye and I reach out to wipe it away without thought. When the pad of my finger touches his face, he jolts and his eyes come open. I pull my finger back quickly. "I'm sorry," I say. "Are you all right, Alex?" He nods and gasps as I sit back, one last rub of my aching cock against his as I go. I touch his chest reverently. I feel its fast rise and fall under my hand. I run my fingers over his body, marveling that I can, that he wants me to, wondering why I don't want other men but *this* man. This...beautiful, sexy, intense, complicated man whom I should hate but, fuck, I can't. "I..." he whispers. I'm absorbed in touching him, in circling his nipples with my ring finger, in feeling the hard muscles beneath my hand get harder as I stroke over them. "What?" I ask, not wanting to look away from all the gorgeous skin and sinew under me. "I luh...love you." My hand stops over the steady, rapid thud of his heart and I look to his face. His eyes are shut in what looks like both anticipation and a little fear. He...loves me? I place my hand against his jaw lightly, almost not touching at all. "Please look at me." He doesn't hesitate, his eyes fluttering open and his gaze latching onto mine. Whatever doubts or fears I shared with him leave me as I look into his eyes. The truth of him hits me full force and I feel myself drawn down to him. I don't want to stop it. I may not be able to tell him, but I can sure as hell show him. My mouth descends on his and when I touch him and open his mouth to me, I can't not think that I'm kissing the lips that said they love me. I extend my tongue onto his mouth, fucking it as tenderly as I can. In out. In out. I hold his head in place and he stops trying to kiss me back, just opening his mouth for me as I tongue him. I take care not to go too far, to choke him with my building passion. With each press of my tongue far into his hot, wet mouth I hear it: "Love you. Love you. Love you." I hear myself moan deeply into his throat and he whimpers back to me. I rip my mouth from his and we are both breathless. I want to tell him... I want to give it back to him. "Alex..." "Yes, Mulder." I wrap my hand around his cock and I squeeze carefully before stroking him to the tip. He gasps. "I want to do things to you...for you..." I pull gently at his pulsing dick again. "I want to show you." I look into his eyes, pleading with him to understand. Please, Alex. Know what I'm offering...that I'm a chickenshit...please. He doesn't answer and I can't tell what he's thinking. If he wants me to keep touching him. "Does this...feel good?" I ask, now uncertain. Maybe this doesn't feel the same to him as it does to me when I touch myself. We have the same equipment, but I realize I really have no idea if I'm doing it right...if he likes it or if I'm any good. "Yesssss," he hisses. "Too good." I realize he's holding himself completely still and tense. I continue to stroke him languidly. "Do you want me to stop, Alex?" He gets a pained look on his face and shakes his head in the negative. "Do you...need to move?" I ask, thinking he might be more comfortable with a pillow under his head or on his side or something. "Oh yeessssss!" he wails suddenly and begins thrusting powerfully and erratically up into my hand. "Jesus," I say softly, shocked. He didn't think he was supposed to move. And look how badly he wanted to! God, he's bucking up into my hand and I struggle to keep up with him, squeezing and jacking him vigorously. "Oh...Mulder! Can't...oh please!" "God, you're amazing," I tell him. I'm in awe. I really am. He was keeping it all in for me. And now it's for me that he's letting go. "I want to see it," I tell him, hand working fast, his pre-ejaculate easing the way. "I wanna see how you come, baby. So goddamn gorgeous," I add under my breath, looking from his dick ready to explode in my hand, to his perfect face. "Do it, Alex," I nearly plead. "AhhhhhhfuckMulder!!!" he yells, back arching into a bow, cock thrusting up into my hand and releasing his cum in hard jets over my knuckles and his belly. "Yes," I whisper, urging him to let me have it all. "Yes, that's good. Oh, you're so good." "Nuuuh!" he finally finishes and lowers his hips back down to the bed. I reach up with my free hand, which I realize had been clenched in the sheets, and pet his sweaty head. I watch his face as he comes down and finally his eyes open to me. His look is open, eyes bright green and shining. Then he peeks down at my hand. "Gonna need a wash cloth," he rasps. "Nuh unh," I say which brings startled eyes back to mine as I raise my hand, gaze never leaving his, and bring my cum-drenched knuckles to my extended tongue. And then I taste him. I taste Krycek. I lick across the back of my hand and I can't help but moan because even though it's a slightly bitter taste, it's him. And he's mine. He grabs my wrist, brows creasing over his pretty eyes. "You don't..." he starts. "Want to," I tell him between tastes. "'Sgood." I look down at his still slightly hard cock. "In fact..." His eyes widen in understanding, but they slam shut when my lips actually come in contact with his soft, wet flesh. I suck him into my mouth and feel him start to swell. He screams and grabs my head in both hands. I know the skin of his cock must be sensitive as hell, but I just can't help it. I suck him hard, bracing my hands on either side of his hips. He goes fully erect again inside my mouth and I'm so turned on I have to fight rubbing myself against his leg. "Mulder!!" I never could have fucking guessed how much I'd love giving a man head. True, he's unearthly beautiful and hot and he loves me, but sucking cock has just always seemed like a gruesome chore to endure in my opinion. Now, with his silky erection in my mouth, I can't believe I, Fox "I'll Taste Anything" Mulder, thought I wouldn't plain fall in *love* with this. I want to do him this way all night. But I also want inside. I lift my head reluctantly from Alex's lap to see him balling the sheet in his fists. I lick my lips and smile. "Alex?" "Yeah?" he asks, sounding almost frightened. "I want to make mad, passionate love to that incredible ass of yours." Jesus God, he blushes. Krycek. Is blushing. For some strange reason, it hurts my heart. I reach up and touch his hair. "You're beautiful, Alex." He turns his head into my hand like a cat and I climb up over him. "You're so beautiful I can't stand not to be able to look at you when I'm in you," I whisper. My dick is so hard. I've been waiting so, so long for him. I'm starting to worry if I *can* go slow. If I can do this without hurting him. I don't want to hurt this man anymore. I lean down and give him a rather chaste but lingering kiss, lips clinging to one another, then I speak against his sighing mouth. "Stay right there." He nods and I roll off him to rummage through the bedside table for the lube. "Do you want me to wear a condom?" I ask over my shoulder. "I know you're clean, Mulder," he husks. I grab the lube and crawl back over to where he waits, laid out naked on my bed, utterly delectable. "Spread your legs, honey," I tell him, the endearment feeling good and right crossing my lips. I smear some lube on my fingers and trail my hand from his balls, down the crack of his ass, to his hole, behind... He stiffens on a sharp inhale. "'Sokay. I won't hurt you." I tease his hole with one slick finger, pushing at it a little as I circle, not quite exerting enough pressure to get inside. "Please..." he whispers and I can't resist that plaintive voice; I push my finger inside, all the way up. He cries out and pulls his knees into his chest, opening himself up for me. "More," he gasps, so I add a second finger, slowly pushing both up his ass at the same time, fucking him carefully. "Mulder..." he says, sounding frustrated. "Your cock." "Are you sure?" I ask. He feels so tight. I can't believe he wants me in there already. "Yes!" he groans, pulling at my shoulders first and then trying to reach down to my ass. I withdraw my fingers and grab a pillow, putting it under his hips. I take one of his legs and hook his knee over my shoulder. Now he's open to me, hole waiting, breath uneven, chest heaving. I take my cock in hand; I'm trembling a little. I line myself up, braced on one arm. I lean down and take his mouth with mine, and as I suckle his tongue, I push the head of my cock into his asshole. "Mmmmm!" he screams into my mouth. "Can you take me?" I say into the kiss. "Mmmhmmm..." he whines, nodding, our lips still mashed together. His need is too much for me. I feel like I could come before I'm all the way in. And yet I push. With an open-mouthed groan, I push into him. When my entire cock is sheathed in Alex, I bring my hand to his face. I stroke his cheek. I'm in him. A part of him. He loves me. Just knowing that...God, I have to start fucking. It almost hurts to slide out of him, but the thrust back inside his heat is so good I want to cry. I try to keep it slow at first, basking in the feel of him, trying to keep from hurting him, but soon I'm speeding up, loving the feel of my body slapping into his, my skin and his, our shy whimpers turning to grunts of pleasure. His hands are in my hair, on my back, grasping at me, insistent. I speed up, stroking myself to a near fever pitch in his body. It's as good as anything I've ever fantasized. Better. He feels better, hotter, tighter. Our rhythm is easier, bodies fitting perfectly. The sounds he makes are incredible, making me feel God-like as I claim his ass, filling him with my cock. Only one thing is different. I'm not saying what I pictured saying. Not at all. As I fuck Alex Krycek for all I'm worth, I hear myself saying... ................. "Unn, love you. Love...you...ohgod...need you...Alex...Aleh...Alehhhxxxxxahhhgod..." I can't believe what I'm hearing. Mulder can't love me. He can't forgive me much less love me. But God, I can't think about it right now. He's burying himself in my ass. He's thick and hard and he's going in me deep, but he's so smooth. He's not hurting me. He's gliding quickly in and out, just hard enough to make it burn, but gentle enough that we're just rocking together on the bed. There's no staccato, uncoordinated stab of his sizable cock into my tight hole. He's just stroking me. He's taking care of me. He's making love. Like he said. "Love...you...ahgod...Alex...wanna...make you...cuh, cuh, cuuuuhhmmmohyeah..." With that, he frees a hand and wraps it around my dick. I can't take it. I'm over-sensitive. He pulls up once. Twice. Three times and I try to warn him but at the same time I lose it. "No, Mulder, I caaaaaahhhh! Ahhhhh!" He hovers over me, breathing hard, thumb coaxing the last of my cum from my cockhead, and he's thrusting lazily in my ass. "Let it all out. That's good. Gimme all of it. Yeah..." I almost sob as I comply, my head coming off the bed with the last of it. I then collapse back down, exhausted from the two orgasms he's given me. He takes my other resting leg with his sticky hand and puts it, too, over his other shoulder. Now my knees are in my shoulders and he's bearing down on me. "My cock hurts," he tells me, biting his lip. "I don't know...if I can..." "Go," I tell him, stilling trying to regain my breath. "Do it." He nearly growls as he starts ramming himself into me. He's going hard now. Cock pistoning relentlessly, driving grunts of pain/pleasure out of me with each savage thrust. His arms strain and he grits his teeth. And I get to see Mulder lose control. "Ohgod...ohgod...sotight...hurts my cock...sogood...fucking good..." It's not long before he stiffens and throws his head back and howls out his climax, as deep in me as he can get, grinding there as he comes. I watch him mouth words I can't decipher. I watch how he trembles, holding himself above me. How his back arches, pelvis pushed forward. It's sexier than anything I've ever seen. And he's doing it with me. Because of me. I reach up and run my fingers through his hair. He opens heavy eyes to look down at me. "I'm sorry," he says. Sorry? "Why?" "I didn't mean... I didn't want to get rough. It's not... I'm sorry." I lift my legs from his shoulders, straightening them out with care, grateful that we're still joined. I pull him down to me so his chest rests on mine. "Don't be." I hold his chin and make him look at me, his warm, fast breath hitting my face. "Mulder. Don't be. It's who we are." "Violent fucking assholes?" he asks petulantly. "Maybe," I tell him, not letting him look away. "Passionate, violent, volatile..." "But..." I pull him down into a kiss, making better use of his delicious mouth than arguing. "But nothing. Shut up," I tell him and he does. "You also happen to be the most caring, sensitive, generous...lover...I've ever had." He opens his mouth to say something else and I pull the idiot down again, pushing my tongue into his mouth. I end with a small nibble on his bottom lip. I've always wanted to nibble it. "I heard you," I whisper. "You can be as rough as you want as long as you love me, prick." At that he smiles. My eyes sting and I blink back the tears. He's not going to deny it or take it back. It's mine. "I do, you know. Don't ask me to explain how, Alex, but... I do." I nod, feeling him soften and slip out of me. He readjusts his pelvis in the crook of mine and I run my hands over the lean muscles of his back. "I may take some convincing," I say, only half-joking. "I look forward to it," he says solemnly. "Does that mean I can stay the night?" I ask, allowing a small smile to lift my lips. "It means if you try to leave, I'm cuffing you to the bed, Alex." "Nice," I say, lifting my eyebrows suggestively. He kisses me quickly once on the mouth. "Do you have PJ's for me, Mulder?" "No. I don't. I want you naked. No arguments. I want your ass to be easily accessible, you hear me?" I sigh under him. "I hear you." His eyes change and he leans down to cover my mouth with his. I love that this man seems to love to kiss non-stop. As he opens my mouth with his and dips his sweet, talented tongue inside, I let myself believe it all. Right now, kissing the life out of me, this man loves me. I believe. ....................... I turn my key in the lock and quietly step inside. Silence. Not a thing. I feel for my gun at my lower back and realize I don't have it. I think the word shit and step into Mulder's apartment, expertly missing the creaky board. I slowly shut the door behind me and make my way silently across the foyer and into the living room. Nothing. I start to sweat. I move across the carpet toward the bedroom. It's 9:30. He never sleeps this late. I take a breath, telling myself all I'm going to find is a note saying he and Alex took a walk over to Krispy Kremes. The door is ajar and I push it open just enough to fit through. What I find is the sun shining through the window across the bed. In it lie two men. One, darker hair, is curled tightly into the side of the other. The first man's head is tucked under the chin of the other. Their arms are wrapped around each other and they're both snoring. They're naked on top of haphazard sheets. I let go of the breath I was holding. But my heart keeps thudding wildly. They're exquisite. Smiling through the tears I can already feel forming, I reach down to take off first one shoe and then the other. I shrug my white t-shirt over my head, letting it fall to the floor. I unbutton my jeans and push them down my hips, stepping out of them. I was going to crawl in with them, but I find I don't want to just yet. I lean my hip up against the dresser and cross my arms, just watching them sleep, Mulder holding Alex up against his body, legs tangled. Suddenly, Alex inhales sharply and opens his eyes, looking around the room. I jump. "Alex, it's okay," I say quickly, one arm held out to him. "Dana," he says groggily. Krycek. Groggy. Mulder must've really worn him out. I can't help but smirk. "Morning," I say. "He loves me." I open my mouth but no words come out. He smacks his lips three times, looks around the room once more, squinting in the sun. "Night," he says and then lays his head back down on Mulder's chest. Mulder keeps snoring. Typical. So he said it. I can't believe he told him. I've known for a while, but I guess I didn't give Mulder enough credit to think he'd give that to Alex. Alex...lying there so peacefully against the man who, although cut off from the rest of the world, found a way to open his heart to us both. I look once more at Alex's tossled hair, now tickling Mulder's nose and making it twitch. I whisper it under my breath, sure I'll tell him soon, too. "I love you." And then I pad to the kitchen in my undies to make coffee. End Feedback stroked and fondled at shannon@hegalplace.com Additional note: I came up with the idea for this fic when listening to The Red Hot Chili Peppers' song, "Other Side." The lyrics can be found here: http://www.ugcs.caltech.edu/~harel/cgi/page/htmlit?Otherside.html some of which work great and others that leave you scratching your head. The title works on multiple levels, I think. Email me if you want clarification. ;) Thanks for reading, folks!! As always, you rock. ------------------------ Yahoo! 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