TITLE: This Will Soon Be You AUTHOR: Chris C. E-MAIL: FoxNDana2@aol.com RATING: NC-17/R (Not for the kiddies!!) CATEGORY: MSR/Erotica DISCLAIMER: If they were mine, there would be NO MORE sexual tension! The other Chris C. doesn't know how to have any fun. :P ARCHIVE: Anywhere, just please keep all info attached, and drop me a line. FEEDBACK: Welcomed with open arms and double stuffed Oreos. :) SUMMARY: We all know Scully and Mulder need a little help admitting their feelings; I found someone that can help. ;) But the methods are, well….you'll see. AUTHOR'S NOTES: This started as a personal request, but took on a life of its own. Hey, that happens. For some reason, the fantastic angle of this intrigued me and I couldn't seem to control what was pouring from my fingers to my keyboard. I guess there really are Muses out there that will not be denied a conduit to this world. ============================================ June 12, 1999 2:42 AM Scully awoke, breathing hard and drenched in sweat. Her eyes flew open, taking in her surroundings. Out the window she could see endless fields passing rapidly. "Where are we Mulder?" she asked groggily, stretching as best she could in the confines of the car. "We're in the middle of No Where, Kansas," he replied in his tired monotone voice. "Do you want me to drive for awhile?" she asked, afraid to return to her dream. It was one thing to have erotic dreams of Mulder in the privacy of her own room. It was another thing to have them while she was less than three feet away. A very dangerous thing. Lately, she'd woken herself up, on more than one occasion, while moaning or calling out his name. Scully felt she would die of embarrassment if he heard her during one of her moments of weakness. "No, that's OK," he told her, "we're almost to the motel Detective Jaffe told me about." "Mmm, good. I need to stretch out in a real bed." "I just wanna take a shower," he said. < Maybe a nice cold one to take care of this raging hard-on I've had for the last thirty minutes. The one I got after hearing you moaning my name and God's over and over. > "Yes it is rather hot in here. I can't believe the air conditioner chose the hottest night in June to quit working," Scully complained. She was mindlessly fanning her chest by repeatedly pulling on her dampened blouse. Mulder glanced over at her, just in time to see one of the top buttons free itself, giving him a pretty good view of her cleavage. They drove on for another fifteen minutes in the excruciating heat. Mulder had managed to deter his thoughts enough to subdue his arousal, for now. They came upon the main road in the little town and quickly spotted the motel. It wasn't that hard considering there were only about a dozen buildings lining either side of the road. After checking in at the front desk of the Ruby Red Motel, Mulder and Scully went into their adjoining rooms. As was their routine, they dropped their bags and unlocked the door between the rooms. Several years ago, they decided it was safer to be able to access one another in case of an emergency. Mulder headed straight for the shower, turning the cold water nozzle on full blast. He stripped down and stepped under the cold spray. Well, as cold as it would get in a cheap motel on a hot summer night. Scully heard the water running in the next room. She closed her eyes as she began to slowly peel her wet clothes from her body. Mulder decided to be chivalrous tonight and give her the room with the only working a/c unit. Visions of a wet, naked Mulder only twenty feet away started tremors through her body. Scully dragged herself over to the window unit and turned it on full blast. She shivered as the cold air flowed over her sweat-dampened skin. Hard as she tried, she couldn't shake the unprofessional images she was having of her partner. Physically trying to shake the thoughts from her head, Scully grabbed her toiletries and headed for her own shower. After finally drifting off to sleep, Scully was once again visited by Mulder in her dreams. So real was the feel of his hands, his lips, his body, that Scully began to writhe in her bed, mumbling and moaning Mulder's name. As Mulder lay in his bed, he could hear the soft cries of his partner from the next room. He knew what was happening. She was dreaming about him again. He had to fight the urge to slip into her bed and literally make her dreams come true. Mulder had been listening to her doing this for almost a month now. He had also been trying to think of a viable way to approach Scully about enhancing their relationship. Obviously nothing was coming to mind. Feeling a little more frustrated tonight, Mulder crept over to the door leading to Scully's room. Opening it ever so slightly, he peeked in, just as Scully squirmed and kicked her sheets off, revealing that she, too, had opted for no clothing after showering. Mulder's eyes grew into immeasurable spheres as he gazed upon the body of his nude partner. Twisting and turning, hands roaming freely along her own body as she moaned over and over… "Oh God, Mulder, oh God, mmm…" Not being able to stand it any longer, he closed the door softly and returned to his bed. Taking himself in hand, he set out to relieve the throbbing in his mind and body. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX June 12, 1999 7:58 PM Scully and Mulder sat in the waiting room of Miss Jill Anne Landry. She had phoned Mulder with claims of knowing the whereabouts of one Alex Krycek and the digital tape containing stolen government information. It was beginning to look like any time a digital tape was missing from the government, Krycek's name was sure to pop up. Both agents sat, flipping obliviously through magazines and periodically glancing from their watches to each other. They had arrived at precisely 7:00 PM, per Miss Landry's instructions, and were quickly tiring of the delay. After an unrestful night, then another long day of driving, neither Mulder nor Scully was in the mood to wait. Inside the office, Jill had just lit the last candle and incense stick in the room. She sat cross-legged in the over sized wicker chair, closed her eyes, and began to chant. "Mino sota anee hatt ah tee-a. Son tele heta onu ah tchu wa." Again. Once more. The smoke from the incense and candles thickened and joined in the center of the room. After a few moments, Jill opened her eyes and stared into the clouds before her. Two sets of images danced in her midst, separate, but almost identical. His dreams showed her of an unquenched desire. A powerful but forbidden passion that tortured him on a daily basis. This tall, dark haired man, wanting so desperately to love a woman that was taboo to him. The shapes showed her of animal lust, siding with undying devotion. Jill eyed the scene with interest, raising an eyebrow, then shifting her attention to the images in the adjoining haze. Her dreams also showed of unrequited longings. A small, red haired woman, with the heart of a warrior and an angel, held steadfast to the pulsing body of the tall man. An entanglement of body and soul. Passion, love, devotion, hatred, confusion, betrayal, infinite trust, all lived inside this woman. Yet she still pushed him away. The irony of two impassioned souls hiding behind the same 'rules and regulations', made Jill grin a slightly evil grin. Watching the two sets of entangled lovers, she took a deep breath. As she slowly expelled the air through her pursed lips, the smoke clouds began to dissipate. The images disappeared into thin lines rising from the numerous aromatic minutiae. Almost instantly, the room returned to its natural state, save for the various wisps of smoke clouds. Jill rose and walked out into the waiting area of the outer office. "I'm sorry to keep you waiting," she said, extending her hand to the agents. "My name is Jill Landry." "I'm Agent Scully," she said taking her hand, "this is Agent Mulder." He nodded. "Please follow me. Lauren," she said to her secretary as she passed her desk, "NO interruptions." Lauren gave her a knowing look as Jill winked and closed the door to her office. Mulder and Scully looked around the office, noting the peculiar ambiance of the psychiatrist's office. There was an oversized wicker chair facing a couch. Not the ordinary brown leather couch one would expect to find. This was leather, but it was abnormally large. About the size of a queen-size bed. It was white with a black swirling target pattern, like a hypnotists charm would have. In the center of the pattern was small picture. It was a circle, sectioned in half, with a smaller picture in each section. One was a picture of two hearts, joined by overlapping each other and surrounded in an orange and red flame. The other section contained a larger singular heart, but with a jagged line down the center. The rest of the office was normal looking, save for the numerous candles and incense. The only other furniture in the room was a desk, some file cabinets, and two large bookshelves covering the length of two of the walls. They both turned around as Jill closed the door behind her. "Please, have a seat," Jill said as she motioned to the large couch. Having no place else to sit, they obliged as Jill moved to sit in the wicker chair across from them. "Miss Landry," Mulder started, "you told me on the phone that you knew the whereabouts of Alex Krycek, and that of the digital tape as well. How did you come by this information?" "Well, I can't give you all the details, but he came to my office looking for, refuge shall we say, late one night. After convincing him I wasn't going to inform the authorities of his location, he removed his gun from my temple. After that, I merely suggested he have a seat and talk to me a bit while he rested. The next thing I know, we are having a 'session', which is why I cannot divulge the next part of my story." Jill stopped, eyeing the agents who were looking at her skeptically. "So you're telling me Krycek came looking for a hideout and ended up in therapy?" Scully said incredulously. "In a manner of speaking, yes," Jill replied confidently. "He's a very…interesting man." Mulder scoffed at the last statement. "That's not exactly the word I use to describe him." "So where is he now, Miss Landry?" Scully prodded. The smoke from the incandescent items strewn about the room was beginning to blur her vision. She was starting to feel very tired and wanted to end this little excursion and get back home. "Well, to tell you the truth, I don't know." "What?!" Mulder almost shouted. "You said you knew where he was…" "Please, Agent Mulder," Jill cut him off, "there's more that I have to tell you." Mulder sighed and rolled his eyes as she continued. He too was beginning to feel drowsy, and this annoying line of banter was grating on his nerves. "Mr. Krycek returned to me after I spoke with you last. He came with someone this time, a blonde woman. He asked for, well, I can't really tell you that part either," she hesitated for a moment, thinking of exactly the right words to use. "He wanted help for he and the woman, which I granted, in return for something else of course. He spoke of you, Agent Mulder, and Agent Scully as well, as he had the first time he was here. That was why I called you to begin with." She stopped talking as she watched both agents drifting from reality. The clouds began to thicken in the room again as Mulder and Scully collapsed back onto the couch. The last thing they saw with their conscious minds was the ceiling, swimming with white clouds on a light blue background, scattered with barely noticeable winged cherubs and entangled naked bodies. As she began to speak again, she knew her next words would not be remembered. "You see, Agents, Mr. Krycek was in love too. He just didn't know it yet. He and Marita know that now. As will you." Her words served to deepen the trance and call up more images in the smoke clouds that hung heavy in the room. She continued to convey her insight to their unconscious as she moved towards the couch. "Love is a powerful thing. It can only strengthen the bond you already have. It is not something that will tear you apart, unless you deny it." Jill removed the guns from their side holsters and set them aside. She bent over Mulder, smoothing back his hair from his forehead, and placed a slow, light kiss in its place. "Love will turn to hate, lust into violence, passion into vengeance, if it is not allowed to exist in such an obvious place as your souls." She took a couple of steps towards Scully, repeating the action. "Deny each other, and you deny love. Deny love, and you deny life." As Jill ran her hand down Scully's cheek, down her neck, stopping only when she reached the top of her blouse, she whispered, "You rest, Miss Scully, your time will come shortly." With that, Scully's body slumped further into unconsciousness. "Rest. Listen. Remember. For this will soon be you." Jill stood up again, standing directly in front of Mulder. She closed her eyes, tilted her head back, and took a deep breath as the thick clouds enveloped her entire body. She wasn't visible until her breath was exhaled, sending the clouds swirling around her in all directions. She stepped to Mulder's side and sat next to him. When she spoke, her voice was not her own. Neither was her face, or her body. "Mulder?" she said gently. He stirred and turned his head to look at her. "Scully?" he said, drowsily. "Yes, Mulder it's me." (End Part 1) Part 2 ~~~~ "Scully?" he said groggily. "What's going on? Wh.." "Shh.." she cut him off. "We need to talk, Mulder. I mean REALLY talk." He sat up a little, only focusing on her face. His mind was foggy, though he wasn't sure why. He started to look around the room, but couldn't seem to make his eyes comply. "About what?" he asked. "About emotions. About feelings….About, us." Mulder shook his head slowly. < Scully never wants to talk. Especially about her feelings and emotions. What the hell is going on here? > "OK, Scully," he said quizzically, "whatever you want." Scully sighed heavily and quietly said, "Good." Mulder's mind was clearing up, but he still could only make his eyes focus on Scully. He leaned on his left elbow, half facing her on the unfamiliar couch. He didn't recognize where he was, but for some reason that fact didn't astonish him at that moment. "Look, Mulder," she started, " we've spent the last several years of our lives together. I know there hasn't been time for relationships outside this partnership. I can't even remember the last time I was on a date. And I believe you're in the same boat, correct?" she prodded. Mulder nodded, amazed at how bold and straightforward she was being. This was so odd. But if Scully was finally going to share part of herself, her REAL self, with him, well then by God he was going to go along with it. Scully nodded her head in silent confirmation, then continued. "It's been a really long time, Mulder, for me…," she paused and looked directly at him to see if he understood. He did. With the exception of a few misguided attempts, he could honestly say the same thing. An embarrassed little smile plagued the corners of his mouth, letting her know of his similar situation. At that, she scooted closer to him, leaning on her right elbow, mimicking his position. He ran his right hand nervously through his hair, then placed it in front of his chest. She covered it with her left, staring at the site before her. There was a significant size difference in their hands, but they seemed to almost be as one. Mulder was staring too. His brow furrowed, not sure what to make of this situation. He was lost in thought when she began to speak again. "Mulder," she said, not wanting to continue until she had his full attention. He looked up, seeing raw emotion in her eyes. His confusion was apparent. "Scully?" It was all he could manage to pass from his lips. "What I'm trying to say, Mulder, is that…I love you. And it's not only that. I need you Mulder, more than I ever wanted to admit. To myself, and definitely to you. But I think you need to know. I know *I* need you to know. It's been too long. I trust you with my life. I want to trust you with my heart. I want to…," she hesitated for just a moment. "I want… you." Mulder couldn't believe his ears. All of his dreams were coming true. He'd been waiting so long to hear her say that. He wanted to make love to her right here, right now. He couldn't suppress the smile that enveloped his face. It spread through his body like a virus. He was elated. She disentangle her hand from his, reaching up to caress his cheek. He leaned into her touch. Without realizing it, he turned his head, placing a kiss in the palm of her hand. His mouth lingered there, savoring her skin. After what seemed an eternity to him, he broke the contact. He turned slightly to face her, her hand still resting on his cheek. Mulder closed his eyes, relishing the wonderment of the moment. He wanted to take her in his arms and relay all the emotions he felt to her. And he almost did. But while he lay there, eyes closed, Scully's hand on his cheek, lost in emotion….something happened. A wave of serenity passed over him. He leaned towards her, feeling almost inebriated, intending on placing a long overdue kiss upon her full, luscious lips. But the room became clouded. His mind drifted from consciousness. He heard the words, but he was drifting so far away… "Rest now, Mr. Mulder," she was saying. His body collapsed against the couch, unable to resist the suggestive cadence attacking his senses. Mulder sensed, more than felt, the hands run across his face. Down his forehead, his eyes, his nose, his lips. Down his chin, his neck…lulling him further into blissful oblivion…down his chest. Fingers caressing the exposed skin above the top button of his shirt. < When did I unbutton my shirt? And undo my tie? And…and…and…> There was no conscious thought after that. Only the remnants of a voice. A suggestion deep within. "Rest Mr. Mulder. The rest will come soon enough. Now, it's her turn." Light faded into black. Mulder swore he could smell the poignancy of a room filled with smoke as he heard her final words… "Don't worry Mr. Mulder, this will soon be real." Then there was nothing. (End Part 2) Part 3 ~~~~ Jill rose from the couch. As she stood, the form of Scully faded behind her into wisps of smoke, leaving behind her true self. She took a few deep, cleansing breaths, exhaling each slowly. After a few moments she turned back to face the two FBI Agents. She stood, hands on hips, staring at the slumbering figures before her. It was obvious to Jill that Mulder had been more conscious of his feelings than she thought. It had barely taken any time to pry the desired response from him. She got the distinct impression that he had wanted to confess his emotions for some time. They were so close to the surface, yet there was a strong wall holding them on the threshold. Given that, Jill suspected she would have a harder time eliciting the same response from the woman. Scully must be the main block in this relationship. "This is going to take something a little…extra," she said to herself. Extending her arms out to her sides, she let her head fall back, eyes barely seeing the shapes on the ceiling begin to move before rolling back behind fluttering lids. Again the clouds came and consumed her. The cherubs on the ceiling hid themselves behind the clouds. The entangled bodies, however, writhed in pleasure. Innocence was not a factor with these two. Desire ran deep. A tall apparition moved toward the couch as the clouds dispelled. Taking a quick glance at Mulder, the figure turned to Scully's prone body just to the left of him. She was in a deep sleep. "Time for round two," Jill said aloud, trying out her new voice. She stepped to Scully's left, which would keep the agent from facing her partner, and sat down. Jill laid a hand on Scully's arm. "Scully?" She stirred. "Scully, wake up." Scully sat up, facing the direction of the voice. She rubbed at her eyes, then at her forehead. "Mulder?" she said, voice raspy. "What's going on? Where are we?" Her head hurt. Not really hurt. She felt more like she had been spinning in circles. "It's ok, Scully, you're fine. You're with me. Can you hear me, Scully?" he said softly. "Yes. I just feel so, strange. What's going…" "Nothing," he interrupted, "but I need to talk to you, Scully. Now." She looked at him through weary eyes. "We never, REALLY talk, do we?" She nodded slowly. < Ok, wait. The last time I heard this from Mulder, it wasn't Mulder. It was that strange little guy, Eddie Van Blundht. > As if reading her mind, he let out a small chuckle. "It's me. I just…well, I just want to tell you a few things, OK? And I need you to be open and honest with me. Can you do that for me?" "Yes," she replied simply. This was very strange. Scully knew she was in an unfamiliar place, yet that didn't really bother her. Mulder was acting kind of strange, stranger than normal. She was used to his untimely conversations, but this was different. There was something different in his eyes. She turned her head slightly, wanting to avert her gaze, but her eyes wouldn't leave his face. < He has such a handsome face > "Good," he said, with a measure of relief in his voice. But something just wasn't right, and that worried Scully. "Mulder? Are you alright? Is something the matter?" she questioned, concern becoming evident. "I'm fine, Scully," he said, giving her a little smile. "I told you, I just want to talk to you." She nodded again, still confused, but wanting him to continue. "I'm not sure how to put this, so I'll just come right out and tell you." He stared deep into her eyes, her soul, making sure his words would strike the desired chords. "I love you, Scully. You're my best friend, my partner, my world. I know I should have told you long ago, and believe me, I wanted to. But there was always something holding me back. And don't take this the wrong way, but most of the time, that thing was you. I didn't want to hurt you anymore than I already have. And I know I have." Scully opened her mouth to speak, but Mulder placed a finger to her lips stopping her words. "Let me finish, please. If I don't do this now, I don't know if I'll ever have the courage to again," he told her. She complied, closing her mouth, but his finger didn't move from her. Instead, he began to caress her lips. Warning bells went off in her head. But they were ignored. Her rational mind told her to stop him. But her more primal feelings won out, needing to feel him. It had been far too long since she had been touched like that. Besides, this was Mulder. She knew he would draw back. He always did. And he did. She almost scoffed when he withdrew his hand. It was just like him to confess love, then run. I had happened before. Once, in his hallway. She was sure those words, those touches, would lead to more. He had started to kiss her. Then that damned bee stung her. And after he went to the ends of the earth to find her, to save her, she was sure something would happen. But it didn't. After she exhausted every effort to find him after his little jaunt to the Bermuda Triangle, he had professed his love from his hospital bed. Granted, he was on some fairly strong medication, so she dismissed him at the time. She was almost sure he would tell her again, once he had recovered. But he didn't. Why should now be any different. Her eyes had drifted down, avoiding his gaze. "Scully, look at me," he said gently. She could never deny that voice. She looked up, but saw a flash of something different. Something about his eyes. They were so soft, almost…feminine. She stared at him intently. "I know you're trying to analyze this, but please don't. I do love you. But there's more. So much more." His voice grew so tender, Scully was enraptured. "I'm not sure if you know this, but I haven't been 'with' a woman in a very long time. It's not like our jobs leave us much time for relationships. I'm pretty sure you're aware of that much," he said, giving her a wink. "Yeah," she said grinning, "I guess our social calendars have been a little empty these last few years." They both smiled. Then Mulder's face grew serious. "Scully, I *do* love you. Not just as a friend, and not just as a partner. And more than that, I think you are the most beautiful woman I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. I do notice how beautiful you are, even if I haven't had the guts to tell you. I just wanted to tell you…well, I just wanted…," he paused momentarily. "I want, you." Scully was shocked. Absolutely shocked. She sat there, staring at a man she had spent years with, admiring, fighting, sharing, loving. This wasn't his usual confession. He was serious. "Oh my God," she said softly. "You're serious aren't you?" she asked, still bewildered. "Yes, I am." All of a sudden, Scully's features softened, and a rare and brilliant smile splayed across her face. This was so amazing. He wanted her. He really, truly wanted and loved her. It was almost surreal. She wanted to fling herself into his arms, despite the rational, professional nagging part of her brain that kept telling her it was not proper protocol. She reached out to touch his cheek, expecting to feel the stubble that was always there in the late evenings. But it was smooth. Very smooth. Just as her mind began to calculate the data, she felt a rush of relaxation. Mulder's hands came up to rest on her shoulders, easing her down. Before she knew what was happening, she was lying down, looking up into the face of the man she loved. She just knew he was really going to kiss her this time. He had to. He just had to. Then she would tell him that she loved him too. She wanted to tell him now. She wanted that so much it hurt. But she needed the final physical confirmation from him. Just one kiss, and she could give herself to him completely. Her eyes closed against her will. The smell of smoke permeated her nostrils. But darkness was beginning to consume her. She was falling from this place, slowly sinking into blackness. She could hear something, a voice. < What is it saying? Who… > "Rest now. It's almost time." It was almost like a dream, a very familiar voice assaulted the last of her conscious mind. "The hard part is over now. Rest for a moment Miss Scully. But don't fade just yet." As Jill stood, the spectral form of Mulder dispersed, as Scully's had earlier. The woman stood, and cleansed herself again with several deep breaths. Scully felt as though she was in that place between sleep and awake. She wanted to control her body, but couldn't. All she could do was listen. Jill turned and began to speak, as herself this time. "Mr. Mulder?" Mulder stirred, coming close to consciousness, but not quite. "Listen and remember," the voice was saying. "Everything you've discovered, about yourselves and each other, will not fade away. It will remain on the verge of thoughts. You will not hide behind your walls anymore. Rules and regulations and protocol will not keep you from your destiny. You belong together. Listen. Remember. For soon, this will be real." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The smoke in the room reduced itself to tiny lines coming from the lit ends of candles. Mulder and Scully sat perched tiredly on the edge of the couch. Their informant was speaking. "As I was saying, I exchanged Mr. Krycek's counseling session for something else," Jill said, retrieving something from her desk. She produced a small plastic container. "I cannot break the confidence of a patient. He asked me not to reveal his location, and I will not. But he was willing to trade this," she handed the container to Mulder, "for my silence." Mulder rubbed his face with one hand, trying to shake the groggy feeling he had. He opened the container. It held a digital tape. He looked to Scully, who was trying to regain her composure. She glanced inside the box Mulder held towards her. Their eyes locked in confusion. Then turned to Jill. "I know when I called you, Agent Mulder, I told you I knew where Mr. Krycek was. But I think you understand that I cannot reveal that information now. What you hold in your hands though, is more valuable to you than the man who took it, is it not?" she said. "I…uh.." he was unable to form the words he needed. "It's alright, Agent Mulder. Take the tape, and the knowledge you have gained here." Scully was just about to speak, albeit wearily, when Jill stood. She motioned for them to follow her. Mulder and Scully rose, heading for the door. Somewhere inside each of them, the thoughts arose that they should be questioning this woman further. But they didn't. They walked to the door, thanking Miss Landry for her assistance. Mulder pocketed the tape, bid the strange woman goodbye, and he and Scully left the building. Jill turned to her receptionist, who was watching the scene with amusement. "How'd it go?" she asked. "Those two need to get laid," she said. The two women broke out in laughter. "Come on Lauren, let's go get a drink. That one took a lot out of me." "I'm right behind you boss." (End Part 3) Part 4 ~~~~ Mulder and Scully walked slowly to their car in silence. Mulder unlocked Scully's door and she climbed in, hitting the power lock and opening Mulder's door as he walked to the driver's side. He got in, and when he started the engine, Scully's voice startled him, making him jump slightly. "What the hell…?!" she exclaimed, glancing at her watch and shaking it. "What's wrong Scully?" "Mulder, what time to do you have on your watch?" "Um," he checked his watch and did a double take, "9:45? How is that possible? That whole interview couldn't have taken more than twenty minutes," he said incredulously. She sat for a moment, pondering possible scenarios. Nothing came to mind. "I'm not sure. But I feel a little groggy," she said, rubbing her forehead. "And I hate to say this, but I feel like I might have nodded off for a bit. Mulder, please tell me I didn't fall asleep during an interview." "Well, I would Scully, but to tell you the truth," he said, slightly embarrassed, "I feel the same way." He dropped his head forward, banging it slightly on the steering wheel. "Oh, man. I knew I was tired, but I've never dozed off during an interview." He leaned his head back against the headrest, rubbing his face with his hands. "Oh God, how embarrassing," Scully said as she dropped her head down to her hands. Recovering somewhat, Mulder said, "Well, at least this wasn't an actual assignment. Skinner would have my ass for sure." "Lucky guy," she mumbled, without thinking. "Oh really? You think so?" he teased. She snapped her head up, realizing she had actually spoken that thought out loud. Her face turned a bright crimson. "I…uh," she stammered for a moment. Scully was so tired, and hungry. They had skipped dinner, trying to make good time. Now, with the lack of sleep and food, her mind was unable to come up with an excuse for her last comment. "Yeah, I think so. I think you have a nice ass. Happy now?" < You can shut up anytime now Dana > "Well, isn't this interesting," he said coyly as he pulled out onto the street. "Shut up, Mulder." "I'm hungry," she said, trying to change the subject. "Let's stop and pick up something for dinner and head back to the motel." "Your wish is my command." He tried to give her a leering grin. "I'll remember that later." That shut him up. Scully smiled. ====================== They grabbed some burgers and headed back to the motel. They ate quickly and silently in Mulder's room, then parted to take showers. The a/c still wasn't working in the car, but with nightfall and the windows down, the ride back hadn't been too dreadful. Unfortunately, his room had been closed up all day and was stifling. He left the door to the bathroom open, just enough to let the air circulate between the two rooms. Mulder stepped under the cool shower spray, sighing with relief as he felt the day's grime begin to slide off. ====================== Scully had gathered her toiletries together and was about to get in her own shower, when she realized she'd left her cell phone in Mulder's room. It was a peeve of hers to be without her phone nearby. She donned her satin robe and knocked on their adjoining door. It wasn't quite closed all the way, so when he didn't answer she pushed it open just enough to step through. She quietly retrieved her phone from the bedside table and turned to go back to her room. She could hear the shower going in Mulder's bathroom. An evil little smile crept across her lips as she tiptoed to the edge of the open bathroom door. Scully peeked in, enough to see that the shower curtain was too small for the shower. From where she stood, she could see Mulder's backside perfectly. He had shampoo in his hair and was washing his front side with a soaped up wash cloth. Scully stared in awe as her eyes followed the path of bubbles from the back of his head. Down his broad, well-tanned back. Down the arched spine. Down past the tan line to the gentle outward curve of that nice ass she spoke of earlier. Mulder stepped forward to rinse off. His movement startled Scully, whose gaze was lingering rather low, and she popped her head back away from the door. < What the hell am I doing? I can't believe I'm sneaking a peek at my naked partner! > She backpedaled quickly, returning the adjoining door to its original position and dropping her phone on her table. She removed her robe, placing it on the chair next to the bathroom, and disappeared behind her own shower curtain, her mind still full of the fresh images of her partner. ====================== Mulder stepped back to peer past the shoddy curtain of the motel shower. He could have sworn someone was watching him. He could almost *feel* it. He cocked his head, trying to figure out if he were imagining it or not. < Man, what a day! > He finished rinsing, exited the shower, dried off, and wrapped the towel around his waist. It was still hot in his room. < Damn cheap motels. It's fucking June and they can't have all the fucking air conditioners working > He plopped down on the bed, and flipped on his television. < Maybe I can find something good on to keep my mind off this damn heat > Just as he found a basketball game on, the TV started smoking, then popped. All he was left with was a hot room full of smoke and no TV. "Damn it!" He got off the bed, waving his arms in the air at the remaining clouds of smoke. He pulled on a pair of boxers and headed to Scully's room. She was still in the shower. He figured he'd just relax in her room for awhile, which he noticed with some irritation, *did* have a working a/c unit, and watch the game in there. She wouldn't mind. He'd done that before. Besides, he wanted to talk to her. There were some things on his mind he really need to discuss, although he wasn't sure why he felt like he had to do it right then. It wasn't like he hadn't had feelings for her for some time. But there were some things they never discussed. At least not to any length. But for some unexplained reason, he felt he needed to talk to her right now. Maybe it was that comment she made in the car, but there was something at the edge of his consciousness telling him to talk to her. Now. Mulder knocked, hoping to alert her to his presence, even in the shower. She usually heard him knock, so he went on in and settled down on her nice cool bed. He clicked on the TV, thumbing down the volume, found the game, and sat back to enjoy himself. They could talk as soon as she finished her shower. He was so tired and became so relaxed he actually dozed off, and didn't hear Scully shut off the water. Scully got out of the shower and began drying her body. She then threw the towel over her head, rubbing vigorously to dry her hair. She hadn't heard him knock, so she didn't bother covering herself as she vacated the steamy bathroom, head still hooded with her towel. She walked over to the bed and sat on the edge. A strange sound assaulted her ears as she stopped rubbing her hair. < I didn't leave the TV on did I? > Sliding the towel down and around her neck, she turned around, just about the same time Mulder was roused from sleep. He yawned and stretched and began to sleepily explain, still not looking directly at her. "Hey, Scully. My TV blew up so I came in here to…" he froze when he turned and saw her. Scully was still in shock, not able to move. Her eyes were wide, like a deer caught in headlights. Suddenly, she remembered she was naked and pulled the towel from around her neck to cover herself. Unfortunately, the motel towels weren't very big. For some unfathomable reason, she wasn't jumping from the bed, running for cover. She just sat numbly for a minute, then found her voice. "Mulder, what the hell are you doing in here?" "I, uh," he faltered, trying to remember why he came in. The fact that she didn't scream or yank the blankets up over herself didn't escape him. "My, um…oh, yeah," he said, suddenly remembering the useless block in his room, "my TV blew up, and I wanted to watch the game." His eyes traveled over her semi-exposed flesh, no matter how hard he tried to keep them from doing so, as he continued to babble. "See, the game is on. And I knew you wouldn't mind if I watched a little…of the game," he added quickly, "and my room is so hot and the air in the car wasn't working either, so even after I got out of the shower I was still hot, and your room has air and a TV and I knocked but I guess you didn't hear me and I…I'm sorry, Scully." Finally, he shut up. Scully was still sitting there, staring at him like he was some strange creature. He dropped his gaze to his lap, where his hands were trying to cover his evident arousal, hoping she hadn't noticed. She had. While his eyes were averted, Scully took the opportunity to reach over and retrieve her robe, slipping into it quickly. She couldn't understand why she wasn't more upset...why she wasn't acting as modest as she should be. That being naked in front of Mulder was not as detrimental at that moment as it should be. It almost felt, right. To be exposed like that, to him. She even wanted to be furious at him for invading her privacy. But she wasn't. A little annoyed, yes. Caught of guard, definitely. But part of her was glad he was here. She had wanted to talk to him tonight, and had planned on doing so after they finished their showers. Scully was still unsure of why it was so important to talk to him tonight though. She had been having wild dreams of him lately. Powerful enough to give her orgasms in her sleep. But in six years of being partners, she never envisioned really acting on her feelings. Certainly not now anyway. Maybe down the road, several years from now. Maybe never. Whatever came first. But after they left Jill Landry's office, she had a shadowed thought stuck in her head. Like a scratched record, skipping over and over again. Talk to him. Tell him. Now. < Now > she told herself. < Tell him. It's now or never > She knew it didn't want it to be never. Especially after that little peep show she had earlier. She pulled the sash tight around her waist and took a deep breath. "Mulder," she said with more confidence than she thought she had, "we need to talk. I mean *REALLY* talk." Her words struck a chord in him. He jolted his head up. Mulder was sure she was going to tear into him about invading her privacy for the last time and how she would now be removing part of his anatomy and crushing them into a fine powder. But when he looked into her eyes, there was a softness, a warmth-something very inviting and familiar beneath. And something familiar with this situation. Lying next to her. That look. Those words. Where had he heard those words before? He sat up, eager to hear the rest of what she had to say. And yet somehow, he almost knew what it would be. Maybe he wasn't about to get castrated after all. He chose to tread lightly though, just in case. "About what?" he asked. "About emotions. About feelings….About, us." The words seemed to flow from her, like she was reading from a script. Though not rehearsed or practiced. Real. But she couldn't stop now. And didn't really want to. "We never, REALLY talk, do we?" he heard himself say. "OK, Scully," he said quizzically, "whatever you want." Scully sighed heavily and quietly said, "Good." Mulder couldn't shake the eeriest sense of deja-vu--like he was hearing a tape recording. He swore he'd heard this conversation before. But he knew he and Scully had never uttered these words. They never talked about their emotions and feelings, and definitely never spoke of them in regard to each other. He shook his head. < Probably something from a dream > he thought. He looked at her. God knows he spent enough nights dreaming of her. But she had never looked this real--this perfect, not even in his best dream. Scully closed her eyes for a brief moment. For a split second she thought she detected the odor of smoke, mixed with something sweet. Vaguely familiar, like the incense from earlier. And then it was gone. She dismissed it, attributing it to Mulder's fried television and the clean smell of soap that no doubt emanated from their freshly showered bodies. She opened her eyes to find Mulder looking at her, so much of himself evident in his eyes. There was nothing there to fear. It was like coming home--the honesty which shone in his eyes. < Don't deny him > she heard a voice say in her head. At least, she thought it was in her head. It must have been. It didn't really matter though. She was finding it harder and harder to deny him anything, even a good look at her body covered only slightly by a towel. "Good," she repeated, steadying herself for the confession of a lifetime. (end Part 4) (Part 5) Scully scooted up further onto the bed, adjusting to face Mulder. She opened her mouth to tell him she didn't know quite what to say, but something else came out instead. Before she knew what was happening, she started reciting a ghost conversation from somewhere in the recesses of her mind. "Look, Mulder," she started softly, "we've spent the last several years of our lives together. I know there hasn't been time for relationships outside this partnership. I can't even remember the last time I was on a date. And I believe you're in the same boat, correct?" she prodded. "Pretty much, yeah." Scully nodded her head in confirmation, then continued. "It's been a really long time, Mulder, for me…," she paused and looked directly at him to see if he understood. He did. "What I'm trying to say, Mulder, is that…I love you. And it's not only that. I need you Mulder, more than I ever wanted to admit. To myself, and definitely to you. But I think you need to know. I know *I* need you to know." Scully paused, amazed by her admission, by the words she had just spoken. She had intended to tell him how she really felt, but had not intended on blurting it all out like that. She took a deep breath and searched his face for clues or even a reaction to her declaration. Mulder sat gazing at her for a moment. He couldn't believe what he was hearing, yet somehow, at the same time, he had almost expected those words. He shook his head slightly, trying to disentangle his mind from the spider web memories. Mulder believed in psychic ability, but by no means possessed this ability. Especially where Scully was concerned. He tried so many times in the past to understand her motives, her actions, but failed miserably. Scully was harder to read than Sumerian hieroglyphics. It finally dawned on him that Scully was waiting for him to say something. He wasn't sure just how to respond though. He had so many thoughts running around in his head. But he knew he had to tell her. Tell her exactly how he felt too. She deserved that. And so much more. And he intended on giving her as much as he was physically and emotionally able to. Scully had been his everything for so long, he had begun to take her for granted. Mulder knew he had been treating her shitty lately. And although he was aware of his actions, he couldn't seem to stop. All the snide and snappy remarks. The little jealousy games he was playing. Yet here she was, telling him everything he'd wanted to hear for years. And what was he doing? Sitting there like a fool, letting her do all the talking while he stared at her, barely uttering a few scarce words. < What the hell am I waiting for? > Unconsciously, he picked up the long end of her sash that lay on the bed between them. He fidgeted with it as he spoke, rubbing the soft fabric between his fingers. Before he had a chance to change his mind, Mulder inhaled deeply, then let go of his inhibitions. "I love you, Scully. You're my best friend, my partner, my world. I know I should have told you long ago, and believe me, I wanted to. But there was always something holding me back. And don't take this the wrong way, but most of the time, that thing was you. I didn't want to hurt you anymore than I already have. And I know I have." Scully opened her mouth to speak, but Mulder placed a finger to her lips stopping her words. "Let me finish, please. If I don't do this now, I don't know if I'll ever have the courage to again," he told her. She complied, closing her mouth, but his finger remained, caressing her lips. They both smiled, a bit timidly. Then Mulder's face grew serious. "Scully, I *do* love you. Not just as a friend, and not just as a partner. And more than that, I think you are the most beautiful woman I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. I do notice how beautiful you are, even if I haven't had the guts to tell you." His hand slid from her lips to stroke her cheek, dropping to join the other that still toyed idly with the silky fabric of the sash. "I also admire and respect you. You are by far the best agent I've ever known. I meant it when I told you that you keep me honest and make me a whole person. I don't deserve you, but I don't think I could continue to search for the truth if you ever left me. I can't imagine continuing alone. The X-Files and this-quest, it's as much a part of you as it is me. I had no right to chastise you about making it personal, especially in front of the guys. I'm so sorry Scully. And believe me, Frohike jumped my ass and bitched me out as soon as you left. And I thought Byers was going to actually try and get physical and beat the shit out of me. If I hadn't been such an ass and got caught up in other things right after that, I would have apologized sooner, for that and so much more." Mulder moved closer, and they both shifted slightly. His hands had wound themselves in her sash. Their movement unwittingly tugged it free from the loose knot Scully had made in her haste to cover herself. They were sitting against the headboard, almost facing each other, only a few inches apart. "Scully, I never meant to hurt you, with any of the stupid things I've done in the past." He looked at her, begging forgiveness, his eyes a mixture of sorrow and pure love. His voice was so honest, so raw with emotion that Scully was moved. She tried to blink back a stray tear but it trailed down her cheek. She started to argue, to tell him he hadn't really hurt her as much as he seemed to think he did. But she realized she didn't want to argue any more. Didn't need to. All she wanted was to touch him. To hold him and be held. To feel his skin touching hers. She reached out, sliding her arms around his neck to hug him, to hold him close to her. Mulder eagerly slipped his hands around her body, desperately needing the comfort she was offering. As his hands encircled her, drawing her near, the soft fabric was pulled along with them, exposing her skin. They raised to their knees to deepen the embrace. The need for physical contact overwhelmed them both. As their flesh touched, arousal climbed high. They needed more. More touching. More skin. More contact. More fire. They were addicted now. Scully pulled back, just enough to look into his eyes, and he into hers. No more tears. "Mulder," she breathed, barely more than a whisper. Then, no more words. They leaned forward, their lips making long awaited contact. It was soft. Tender. Full of love. Full of emotion. Pure. Perfect. Hesitantly, they broke apart, ending the kiss as they both gasped softly, faces flushed. Scully tried to commit the sensation to memory before opening her eyes to look at him. Mulder was watching her intently, his eyes blazing with fire as if he was staring into her very soul. An almost visible white hot flash passed. In that split second, a decision was made and agreed upon. They would not deny love. They would not deny passion. They would not deny desire. They would not deny each other. Never again. The flash pushed them into physical bliss. Their second kiss was hard, excited, hot. Hesitancy was gone. They were filled with desire, panting and shivering with delight as hands roamed freely, wantonly. Mulder pushed the remaining part of Scully's robe from off her shoulders. It fell behind her and dropped onto the floor. He ran his hands along the smooth skin of her neck, down her chest, then enveloped her breasts. Scully moaned into his mouth as he began to squeeze and knead her. Her hands were not idle. She raked her nails gently down his back, slipping her hands beneath the band of his shorts. She pushed them down as far as she could, since they were still on their knees. She trailed her fingers back up, cupping his ass, squeezing and kneading, just as he was still doing to her breasts. He groaned, then began to move his mouth down to her neck, sucking and biting at her tender flesh. Scully tilted her head back, both to revel in pleasure and to provide him more access to her. She moved one hand between their bodies, grasping his erection. As soon as her hand slid down his shaft the first time, he bit harder on her neck. The pain was exquisite. Mulder slid his hands to her waist, holding tight for support. She stroked him harder and faster as their mouths explored as much flesh as possible. She nipped and kissed his shoulder as he flicked his tongue across a taut nipple. He began to suck, hard then soft. One then the other. Then every place in between and around. He gently eased her down on her back and started licking and kissing his way down her stomach. This shift in position freed him from her eager hands, which was a mixed blessing. Mulder ached for the feel of her hand upon him, but was extremely aroused and wouldn't have lasted much longer if she had kept that up. His mouth descended over her navel. His hand slid up her thigh, grazing her dampened curls in its ascent. As his tongue darted into the small cavern on her belly, he slid one finger into her center. She was so wet already. He could feel her tighten around his finger, and wanted so much to slide himself into her. It had indeed been a long time since Scully had been intimate with a man and she found herself making noises she barely recognized. Her senses were alive and burning, electric shocks were felt everywhere he was touching her. Mulder trailed a slow, lingering path of kisses back up to her breasts, lavishing attention to the flesh he had abandoned earlier. Scully ran her fingers through his hair, tugging it roughly as he withdrew his finger and began circling it around her clit. He began a torturous, wonderful ritual. One wet finger circled her nub languorously. Faster. Slower. Then dipped inside her again, spinning deep circles within before withdrawing and starting over. All the while, his tongue and mouth continued to play out a chorus of ecstasy on her breasts. Her body writhed in pleasure, as it had in her dreams. The flesh was combined with the fantasy. His touch was more powerful than anything she had conjured up for her own pleasure. The ritual continued, but he was now so close. So close that her writhing caused much wanted friction on his arousal, which was pushed into her hip. Mulder tried to resist his need to thrust against her movements, but it was to no avail. Scully's breathing had become hard and fast and uncontrolled. Her back arched and she clenched her teeth to try to stave off her imminent climax. But she had gone too far. There was no turning back now. She opened her mouth, letting her breaths come hot and heavy, carrying the barest of sounds. Incomprehensible utterances of passion. Mulder raised his head, watching reverently. He could see her fighting it. Although he didn't say the words aloud, he chanted mentally for her to let go. Let go. Let it come. Feel it. Know it. Want it. Savor it. His mantra for her was also his own undoing. The words set a rhythm within himself. Still grinding against her, he watched as she past the point of gratification. Convulsions racked her body as he wasted no more time. Before Scully had a chance to grieve the loss of contact as he withdrew his fingers, he was sliding himself on top of her, and into her. One long, slow stroke. Moans of delectation emitted as they became one. Mulder stopped, just for a moment, and held himself deep within her. He felt every millimeter of himself that was being sheltered in her. Then the need to explore her took over. Scully's eyes were still closed, unable to withstand the power of her orgasm. She forced them to open, to gaze upon the bearer of these astounding feelings. Mulder began a hard cadence of thrusts. It only took mere seconds of that marvelous feeling, and Scully was again on the verge of release. She managed to catch Mulder's eyes, and locked onto them. A passionate gaze transfixed the couple as they climbed to the last zenith. Heated, panting breaths hung heavy between them. Mulder thrust harder. Once. Twice. With the next, he captured Scully's open mouth with his own, his tongue darting into her as he filled her below. Waves of spasms washed over them, racking their slick bodies, but their tongues never ceased their dance. As their bodies slowed to a slight pulsing of tiny thrusts, so did their kiss, but they didn't part. The kisses became a catalyst back to reality. Hot, panting breaths were replaced with deep, replenishing ones. Lungs filling and exhaling slowly as they began to caress each other back to earth. They were still now. Motionless save for fingers exploring small patches of flesh in small circles. The kiss ended. Mulder looked at Scully. Scully looked at Mulder. A caress on a smooth cheek with the palm of a hand. Tips of fingers grazed on stubble. It was real. All of it. It happened. It was amazing. One more kiss. Nothing was denied. Nor would it ever be again. ~~~Finis~~~