TITLE:          U IS FOR UNMASKED
AUTHOR:     DONNILEE
E-MAIL:        DONNILEE@SNET.NET
RATING:       NC-17
SPOILERS:  Fight the Future, Milagro, All Things, Triangle, 
SUMMARY:  Scully finally confesses about what's missing in her life and 
Mulder applies for the job of providing it.  This is a total smut biscuit.  No 
redeeming value whatsoever, but I hope, fun nonetheless.
DISCLAIMER:  The characters of Dana Scully, Fox Mulder, Walter 
Skinner and the Gunmen belong to Chris Carter, Ten Thirteen 
Productions and Fox Broadcasting.  They would all have more active sex 
lives if I owned them!
AUTHOR'S NOTE:  Requiem never happened.  The USS Archerfish is 
really a navy submarine that exists.  The Thames River in New London is 
really home to the Naval Academy, the Coast Guard Academy and 
Electric Boat.  The Coleman Lodge, Montauk Avenue and Mitchell 
College, along with Pizza Barn also exist.  I went to college there myself.  
Enough said.

NEW LEXICON WEBSTER'S DICTIONARY OF THE ENGLISH 
LANGUAGE
un-mask (anmaesk, anmusk) vt. to remove the mask from || to expose the 
true nature of identity of, to unmask a criminal || v.i. to take off one's 
mask.

PART 1 (PG-13)
NEW LONDON, CONNECTICUT
TUESDAY, JULY 3, 2001
10:00 AM

My partner had been acting weird for a long time now.  Nothing overt, just 
... different.  She seemed almost withdrawn although she hadn't stopped 
talking.  But her conversation was stilted and she only spoke when 
necessary.  She had turned down several invitations to dinner at my 
place.

Now we were in New London, CT,  on a case.  We'd stayed two nights at the 
Buckmiller Inn, but then had to leave due to the impending Fourth of July 
celebration.  Our rooms were previously booked for that evening.  We had 
checked the Chamber of Commerce travel guide and wound our way 
down Route 1 until we found the utilitarian looking motel called the 
Coleman Lodge.  It was a small two story structure, festuring maybe twenty rooms.  
I parked the car as close the front as I could.  A rusty sign with the word 
'Office' and an arrow slanted precariously on its pole stuck in the dirt just off 
the sidewalk that wound around the building.  

She looked at the place and sighed.  "Another dump.  Looks like one of 
those places that rent rooms by the hour," was all she said.  I 
frowned, suddenly feeling sad and overwhelmed that this was our life.  
Traveling from seedy motel to seedy motel was definitely getting old.  

I took a deep breath and made a suggestion.  "Do you want to go to 
Mystic or Old Lyme, Scully?"

She turned to peer at me.  "What for?"

I swallowed.  "To find a better place to stay.  There are some quaint inns, and 
B&Bs around here.  We could call around and see if any of them have vacancies."

"It's the Fourth of July weekend, Mulder, no one is going to have a vacancy."

"You never know unless you ask."

"Besides, the Bureau is already having seizures over our expense 
reports.  The case is over, we just need to do our reports and stay 
somewhere until we can get a flight out tomorrow morning."

"I'll pay for it."

She peered at me harder, then.  "You'll pay for it?"  She said this as 
though it was the most ridiculous thing I'd ever said.  

"Yes, if it will make you happy and snap you out of this mood you've been 
in for nearly a month, I will take you where ever you want to go and I will 
pay for it."

Her eyes grew moist then and she took a deep breath.  "No, Mulder, but 
thank you for offering.  I don't know what is the matter with me."

When she didn't say anything else I offered, "Well, if you change your 
mind, let me know."

With that, I exited the car and went into the office to book us a pair 
of rooms.  Not only did they not have 'connecting rooms', but they only 
had one room.  I sighed loudly and told the clerk I had to check with my 
partner.

I exited the hotel office and slid back behind the wheel.  My head hit the 
backrest in a gesture of defeat.  "They only have one room, Scully.  Why 
don't I call around and see if anything else is available."

She opened her door and stepped out.  I followed and watched her 
stretch her arms above her head.  She turned and laid her elbows on the 
roof of the car, a sad smile on her face.  "Screw it, I'm tired.  See if they 
have a roll out or a mattress they can put on the floor.  If they do, we'll 
take it."

"I'm sure we can find something better, Scully."

"Let's see about this first.  Frankly, I don't want to spend another minute in 
this car.  She had shed her jacket and was wearing blue slacks and a 
white cotton pull over with a crew neck.  She looked tired and casual and 
... good enough to eat. 

I sighed, seeing her visage soften toward me.  "O.K., and Scully?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry, I really am."

She shook her head in the negative.  "It's not your fault, Mulder.  Skinner 
sent us out here."

"I know, but you're right, this is getting old.  From now on, I'm going to 
start booking us in decent hotels, and if the Bureau doesn't like it, I'll pay 
for them.  You shouldn't have to put up with this."

"Mulder, you don't have the money for that!"  She said this gently, trying 
not to hurt my feelings, but obviously appreciating the gesture.

I smiled a secretive smile at her.  "Yes, I do, Scully."  I turned on my heel 
and went back into the office, leaving her with her mouth hanging open on 
a question I didn't allow her to ask.

XXXXXXXXXX
COLEMAN LODGE, ROUTE 1
NEW LONDON, CONNECTICUT
TUESDAY, JULY 3, 2001
10:30 AM

We checked into our room and a young girl appeared at the top of the 
stairs on the balcony hallway that ran outside our room.  She was cursing 
under her breath and trying to jockey a roll away bed on wheels around 
the corner at the top of the stairwell.  I had just stepped outside the room 
in time to see her over-compensate and see the bed fall forward, dragging her with 
it.  They were stopped by the wrought iron railing of the balcony and she squealed 
as her body bounced on the springs of the underside of mattress that was folded in 
half.  

I trotted quickly down the walk way, hearing Scully emerge behind me.  
"Geez, are you O.K.?" I asked.  

She turned with a scowl on her face but upon seeing me, she smiled a 
Beautiful, toothy smile.  Her brunette hair was tumbled around her head, 
most of it having escaped from the elastic that was holding it prior to her 
fall.  She started to giggle and extricate herself from the mattress, her 
short uniform skirt sliding up to reveal the bottom of her tiny, tight, 
teenage derriere encased in cotton panties.

I grinned and looked but then quickly averted my eyes as she became 
upright and turned to face me.  "Mind giving me a hand?"  

I grinned again and said, "No problem, it's for me anyway."  I heard Scully 
snort behind me.

She shook her head and reached for the bed to pull it upright onto its 
wobbly wheels again.  I bent forward and helped and then walked 
backwards, carefully steering our cargo down the hall.

We maneuvered the roll away over the threshold and set it up along 
one wall after moving the tiny table that was stationed near the window.  
She brushed her hands together and asked, "You want me to open it up 
for you?"

"No, I'm sure I can manage."

She grinned, "I have sheets outside on my cart, I'll be back in a minute."  
She skipped to the door and turned to give me a coquettish look over her 
shoulder before bouncing out the door.  I shook my head, amused at her 
antics.  I turned with a smile on my face and ran smack into the 'Scully 
Glare.'

What now?  My smile faded.  I approached her and gently grasped her upper arms in 
my hands.  "What's wrong, Scully?"

She jerked away and turned her back to me.  "Nothing, Mulder, 
I'm fine!"

I'd had it with this shit. "Bullshit!" I shouted.  She whirled toward me, her 
face sporting a grimace.

"What did you say to me?"  Her voice was a low deadly growl.

I took a deep breath, determined to settle this once and for all.  "I said," I 
paused to take another breath, trying to stay calm, "Bull-shit!"

Her mouth worked open and closed a couple of times and then the girl 
appeared in the doorway.  Seeing our looks she scurried in and dropped 
the sheets on the double bed in the center of the room and turned to 
leave.  Over her shoulder, she said, "There you go, just call the office if 
you need anything."

Scully turned her glare on the innocent girl who was just trying to do her 
job and spit out, "Yeah, you can do something for me."

The girl froze and waited, obviously intimidated by Scully's demeanor.  
"Yes, Ma'am?" she nearly squeaked.

"You can tell your boss that you need a new uniform."

The girls eyebrows shot up.  "Ma'am?" she asked, clearly confused.

Scully smirked an incredibly catty smirk, "Yeah, one that covers your ass!"

The girl's face crumbled and she looked at the floor, her lips pressing 
together, obviously embarrassed.  She turned on her heel and walked out 
the door, not bothering to close it.  I turned to Scully.  "God, Scully!  What 
the fuck?  Why are you being such a bitch?  She's just a kid, for Christ's 
sake!"

Then I probably did the worst thing I could have done.  I went after the 
girl.  I found her leaning over the railing at the end of the walkway, crying, 
her eyes closed as she rocked slowly.  "Hey," I said softly.  

She whipped her head to me, opening her eyes.  She turned away, "You 
better get out of here before the Red Bitch catches you."

I smirked to myself.  "I'm sorry.  My partner and I are FBI, and we're ... 
very stressed out lately, and we're not happy about having to share a 
room, and ..."

"You don't need to make excuses for her.  If I was brave enough, I'd 
apologize for being young and having decent legs, but I don't think that 
would help the matter."

I laughed then, amused at the way her tears had dried up and her 
youthful arrogance was reasserting itself.  "No, it probably wouldn't.  I just 
wanted to thank you for bullying that bed all the way up here, and getting 
the sheets.  And I wanted to apologize for my partner."

"You shouldn't have to."

"I know, but she's had to apologize for me plenty of times, too.  It's not a 
one way street."

She looked at me then and smiled gently.  "You're really FBI?"

"Yeah."

"Must be exciting."

"Sometimes.  Most of the time it's boring footwork and even more boring 
paperwork."

She smiled and nodded.  "Still beats working in a rat hole like this."

"I'm sure, but you're young, you'll find your niche."

"Yeah, I'm actually in college.  I go to college just down the road at 
Mitchell College, then I'll transfer to a four year school at the end of the 
year."

"Good for you, what are you studying?"

"Business Administration."

"Good luck with that.  Do you come from around here?"

She turned and leaned a hip on the railing.  "Yeah, I grew up in Groton, 
I'm a navy brat.  My dad works on the subs over at Electric Boat across 
the river."

Oh?  "My partner is a Navy Brat, also."

She raised her eyebrows at this, "Really?"

"Yup.  Only she grew up in San Diego, mostly, but they moved around 
constantly."

"I've been lucky there.  My folks moved around a lot early on, but I'm the 
fourth kid and by then, my dad was high enough in the ranks to pick his 
location.  He's been at EB for almost ten years now.  We moved here 
when I was 7 and we've been here ever since.  But I didn't want to live 
with my folks anymore, so I moved onto campus."

"Well, good luck, uh ?..."  I stuck out my hand.

"Cherise Thorton."  She shook my hand firmly.  

"Cherise, pretty name."

"Thanks, and you are."

"Fox Mulder."

"Fox, huh?  You were appropriately named," she blurted out and then 
turned away from me blushing.

Now I'd have to be made of iron not to respond to the compliment and I 
grinned.  I had no interest in this child but it was nice to know that I didn't 
look so bad for a man of forty.  At least I didn't figure I did if a teenage girl 
had noticed.

I cleared my throat dramatically and she giggled.  "Thanks.  But 
everybody calls me Mulder."

"Mulder, then.  Are you going to watch the fireworks tomorrow?"

"I doubt it."

"Oh, you should.  They're spectacular over the river.  You can go down 
and watch from the beach."

"I think we need to leave in the morning but ... thanks for telling me.  
Maybe I can talk my partner into staying."

"Well, it was nice meeting you.  I have to get back to work now."

"O.K., nice meeting you too, and thanks again."

I turned to return to the room and saw Scully approaching.  She stopped 
abruptly in front of me and stepped to the side.  The girl turned her head 
to look at her and raised her hands up in surrender.  "Look, I'm sorry lady.  
I don't know what I did to piss you off, but I'm sorry."

Scully pursed her lips.  "No, I'm sorry.  I came out to apologize.  You ... 
caught me at a bad moment and I took it out on you."

The girl glanced from Scully to me and back again to Scully.  "I know I'm 
just a kid, but would you be open to some unsolicited advice?"

In an effort to be gracious, although I knew she was feeling anything but, 
Scully nodded and said, "Sure, what?"

The girl smiled, looking at me and then back at Scully again.  "You should 
work out whatever it is between you.  Jealousy like that will get you in 
trouble some day."  

With that she turned and hopped down the stairs, her skirt bouncing 
against the back of her legs.  I let loose on a full throated laugh and saw 
her glance over her shoulder at me and smile before disappearing around 
the end of the building.

I turned to find Scully's scowl firmly in place.  "Ah, come on, Scully, it was 
funny."

She glared at me once and turned, heading back to the room.  "I was 
NOT jealous," she stated emphatically. 

I was chuckling as I followed her and entered the room behind her.  "I 
know you weren't Scully, but what the hell was she supposed to think?"

She turned and looked at me, deflating slightly, her shoulders slumping.  
"I don't know what's wrong with me, Mulder," she said quietly. 

I sensed the change in her demeanor from anger to confusion and 
sadness.  I stepped into her again and tentatively wrapped my arms 
around her, giving her ample time to push me away.  She didn't and I 
tightened my grip bringing her body into contact with mine.  

She sighed and her arms came up around my waist, her tiny fingers 
splaying out over the small of my back.  I couldn't suppress the slight 
shiver that danced down my spine and hoped she hadn't felt it.  I cupped 
her head with one hand and guided it against my chest.  We stood there 
in silence for several long moments.

"I should probably get this bed set up, Scully.  I'm not going to want to do 
it later."

"Yeah."  

"Do you want to talk about it?"

She sighed heavily.  "Not now.  I don't know what to say, maybe later, 
O.K.?"

"Sure.  It's early.  We have the whole day and we don't have to meet with 
that Captain at the Coast Guard until tomorrow morning.  He just needs to 
give us a copy of his report and we can be on our way.  Let's get that bed 
set up, we'll go have lunch someplace and relax for a bit before hitting the 
paperwork."

"O.K.," she said docilely, which worried me right there.  Scully was never 
docile.  What the hell was going on?  God, how I wished she had been 
jealous.  


PART 2 (PG-13)
PIZZA BARN, MONTAUK AVE
NEW LONDON, CT
TUESDAY, JULY 3, 2001
12:00 PM

"Uummmmmm."

I watched in fascination as Scully bit into a large slice of pizza with extra 
cheese and mushrooms and then laughed when the cheese 
unceremoniously slid off the slice and made a tumble for her plate.  Her 
tongue darted out to catch the stringy stuff.  Her deft little tongue swirled 
and wrapped the string of cheese around her tongue a couple of times 
before retreating into her mouth where she bit it and let the rest fall, along 
with the slice to her plate.

She was trying to chew and suppress a smile at the same time she looked adorable.  
Food was definitely improving her disposition.  I felt my 
groin stir at the sight of her tongue and had a flash image of that tongue 
swiping across my chest.  I grunted slightly and closed my eyes, swallowing down 
the moan that wanted to escape.

She wiped her mouth with a napkin and met my eyes.  Her smile faded 
and I immediately tried to put one back on my face.  "What's wrong, 
Mulder?"

"That's my line," I quipped, and smiled at her.

"Seriously."

"Nothing's wrong, Scully.  I love to watch you enjoy food."

She smiled again.  "Well, I'm enjoying this.  It's almost like Sicilian pizza 
with the big thick chewy crust.  I love it.  This was definitely a good idea."

"Good, I'm glad you're feeling better."

She smiled, "Yeah, I am."  She picked up her slice and dove in again.  I 
took a long pull off my Coors and set it down again.  We ate in silence 
for a while and watched from our booth as the place filled up with noisy 
college kids.  

She scrunched her eyebrows at one point and turned to me and asked, 
"Would you explain to me the purpose of wearing your pants around the 
bottom of your ass?  I know it's a fad, but that's one I just don't 
understand.  Every time I see it, I want to walk up behind them and yank 
them down around their ankles.  Maybe if they were humiliated enough 
they would realize how absolutely ridiculous they look."

I laughed.  "You're asking me about fashion, Scully?"  

"Yeah, why not?  You always dress nice, you have nice clothes."

"Thanks, Scully, didn't know you noticed."  I was wearing nothing but 
black jeans and a blue tee shirt right now.

I must have sounded skeptical because she blurted out, "Of course I 
notice, Mulder.  You always look good."

I stopped in mid bite and stared at her.  As if just realizing what she'd 
said, she blushed slightly and turned away, trying to ignore the fact that I 
was staring at her, waiting to see if she would say more.

I couldn't help myself.  My heart had done a little flip flop when those 
innocent words came out of her mouth.  I know she didn't mean them the 
way I wish she did, but they had a profound effect on me anyway.  

"Scully, do you really think I look good?  I mean, do you think ..."

She glanced at me and away again, examining her plate as she took 
another bite.  "Think what, Mulder?" she asked finally.

"Do you think I'm a good looking man, Scully?"  I could hear the damned 
insecurity in my own voice and winced internally.

She looked at me then and swallowed.  I couldn't discern the look on her 
face.  It might have been the, 'what do I say not to hurt his feelings' look, 
or it may have been the 'I don't know how to answer this question,' look.  I 
wasn't sure.

I cleared my throat.  "Forget it, I was just curious."

She cleared her throat this time, obviously uncomfortable but trying not to 
act it.  "Yes, Mulder, of course I think you're a good looking man."

I caught her eyes again.  "You do?  I always wondered."

"Wondered?"

"What you saw when you looked at me.  I mean, besides a total nut 
case."

She laughed then, the joke breaking the tension.  "I see a lot of things, 
Mulder, I've just never told you."

"Why not?  And don't say because I didn't ask."

She quirked an eyebrow in the air and said, "Because I didn't want to 
inflate your ego any more than it already is."

"I do NOT have a big ego!"

She laughed now.  "Oh come on, Mulder.  Yes, you have your 
insecurities, but your looks and your effect on women is not one of them!"

I stared at her dumb-founded.  She continued to chuckle and took 
another bite of her pizza, clearly amused.  "What do mean, my effect on 
women?"

She laughed but then looked at me and saw that I was perfectly serious.  
"Oh Mulder, don't even try to tell me with that innocent look that you don't 
know what you look like?"

"What are you talking about, Scully?"

She tilted her head to the side as if trying to gauge my sincerity.  Her 
voice was soft but even when she said, "You're serious, aren't you?"

"Perfectly."

She shook her head a little as if to clear it.  "Mulder, you're a VERY good 
looking man.  I can't believe you don't know that."

I shook my head.  "I'm goofy looking."

She grinned now.  "You are not.  What makes you think you're goofy 
looking?"

"My nose is too big, my top lip is too small, the bottom one's too big.  My 
chin is weak.  I have ears like an elf!"

She was giggling now and it made me smile.  If attacking my looks was 
going to make her laugh and giggle.  I thought that perhaps I should do it more 
often.

"Oh Mulder, is that really what you see when you look at yourself?"

"Yup." 

She just looked at me for a few seconds with a soft smile on her face.  
Then she said, "No, Mulder, you're a lot of things, but goofy looking isn't 
one of them.  You're very handsome."

I smiled at her, actually feeling heat diffuse my neck.  I never blushed.  
What the hell was that all about?  "You too," I mumbled.

She screwed up her face.  "I'm handsome?  When men say a woman is 
handsome, it's a euphemism for 'she's not ugly and she's aged well, but 
she'll never turn heads.'  I know I'm a peaked little red head with freckles 
and small tits.  Nobody needs to tell me how I don't stack up to those 
willowy brunettes with legs up to their necks and huge boobs that are 
always turning your head."

I gaped at her, my mouth hanging open.  "Alright, now who's being 
ridiculous?"

"Not me.  That kid was only what, 18 at most, and even she turned your 
head because of those long legs and that long brunette hair."

"That kid?!  Scully, give me a break.  You're right about one thing, she 
was a KID.  I was not the least bit interested in her."

"Then why did you follow her out of the room?"

I stared at her, incredulous.  "Because you'd just insulted the hell out of 
her for no good reason and I wanted to apologize to her and thank her for 
the bed!"

"Oh bullshit!" she said, repeating my earlier words to her.

I sat back in the booth as though she'd struck me.  She looked slightly 
contrite but determined not to give an inch.  Finally I asked, "Can we start 
this conversation over again, please?  I don't like where this is going."

"Sure, fine, whatever," she clipped out.

"Scully," I began, keeping my voice low and soft, an old psychologist trick 
to diffuse anger.  "All right, here goes.  I'm going to explain something to 
you."

"No, Mulder, don't.  I don't want to know, O.K.?  I'm being stupid again.  
I'm on edge and I'm taking things the wrong way and I know it.  I don't 
know why I'm being so sensitive and I know I shouldn't be.  You can gawk 
at anyone you want.  Why the hell should I care?"  This was delivered 
with a rapid staccato chatter, her hand waving imperiously in the air in a 
gesture of dismissal.

Oh no, Scully, not this time.  This was a long way from over.

"No, you are going to listen me for a change."

She pinned me with one of her exasperated looks, asking me to let it go.  
I shook my head in answer to her silent plea.  She sighed and leaned 
back in the booth, staring at the ceiling.

"O.K., fine then," I said.  "I'll talk to your throat."  She didn't move.

"We all have bad days, Scully, and obviously you are having one today.  
And when we do, we say and do things out of character and that we don't 
mean. I know you didn't mean to insult that girl the way you did or you 
wouldn't have come out to apologize.  She was just a kid trying to do her 
job."

I sighed.  "Was she cute?  Hell yes, she was.  Did she act like she was 
attracted to me?  Yes, she did.  And you know what, Scully?  It felt good.  
It felt good to have an 18 year old girl look at me, a 40 year old man and 
smile like she liked what she saw.  Was it good for my ego?  Hell yes!  I 
won't lie to you.  I don't remember the last time a woman looked at me 
that way, or a girl for that matter.  I miss it."

She lowered her head to look at me now.  I continued, "But does that 
mean that I was 'interested' in her.  Hell no!  Does it mean that I would 
come on to her?  Hell no.  She was a KID Scully, and I'm no more 
interested in kids than you are.  Frankly, I'm a little insulted that you would 
insinuate I would be, or that I would take advantage of something like 
that."

She said, "The last time someone looked at you that way, Mulder, was 
YESTERDAY.  And the day before that and the day before that."

"What?"

"You heard me.  Mulder, women look at you like that all the time, you just 
have your head in the sand most of the time, wrapped up in a case.  You 
get investigating something and you tune out the world around you.  I 
don't have that gift of concentration, or rarely.  But I notice.  I see all the 
women ogling your body, raising their eyebrows to one another in 
recognition, staring at your ass!"

I laughed now.  "You can't be serious."

"Yes, I'm perfectly serious.  Open your eyes, Mulder and you could have 
a date tomorrow and every night of the week if you wanted it."  She was 
silent a moment.  "You really don't notice, do you?"

"No."

"Maybe you're ego isn't as inflated as I thought.  Do you notice anything 
going on around you anymore?"

This was asked without rancor or accusation.  Quietly, I responded, 
"Yeah, I notice all the men looking at you."

Her eyes snapped to mine then.  She deflated and said, "You're just 
saying that to make me feel better.  You don't need to return my 
compliment."

"No, I'm not," I said carefully.  She sighed as though I were full of shit.  
"Scully, do you want to know what I see when I look at you?"

She stared at me for what seemed like forever.  Then she nodded, almost 
imperceptibly.  "I see a loving, caring, compassionate woman.  I see a 
brilliant pathologist and an insightful investigator."  She seemed to curl in 
on herself a little.  "And ..."

She looked up again.  

"I see a stunningly beautiful woman with cornflower 
blue eyes, creamy white skin, beautiful auburn hair that feels like corn silk 
and full, pouty lips that draw my eyes like a magnet whenever she talks."

Her mouth dropped open, "Mulder," she whispered.

I stared at her mouth as if to prove my point and moved my eyes back up 
to meet hers.  "I see a strong, independent woman that doesn't take any 
of my crap."

Her lips twitched slightly.  I debated whether to continue.  I was probably 
skating on thin ice here.  Her mood could change in an instant as I'd 
witnessed today about ten times.  But I took a deep breath and continued, 
figuring I may never get another chance to say these things.  "I see ... a 
woman that stimulates my brain and ... arouses my body."

Her eyes grew wide then.  

"I see a woman that I wish I could hold when 
she was frightened or sad.  A woman that I wish would trust me enough 
to be vulnerable.  I see a woman that I want to hold, every day, and keep 
her near me and protect her from harm."

She frowned at that.  

"I know, you hate that."  Her lips twitched but her 
curiosity over my words won out and she stayed silent after opening her 
mouth and closing it again, obviously at a loss for words.  "I can't help it, 
Scully.  When you hurt, I hurt, so I want to protect you from it whenever I 
can."

She nodded but then stared at the table again, her hands wringing 
together in her lap.  "Scully?"

She looked at me from under her lashes without raising her head.  "I see 
the only woman that I ... want to look at me."

Her eyes flitted back and forth and she slid out of the booth and stood 
suddenly.  "I have to go to the bathroom," she blurted out.  As she went to 
dart by me, I reached out and captured her wrist.  She stopped abruptly 
and spun to me, "Let go, Mulder!"

I held her there a second and then said, "You wanted to know.  Please 
don't run away, Scully.  You're acting like I'm going to attack you."

She took a deep breath.  She nodded, "I really do need to go to the 
bathroom, Mulder."

I smirked and let go of her hand.  She nearly trotted to the bathroom at 
the back of the restaurant.  I laid my head on the back of the booth and 
sighed loudly.  Shit!  Had I said too much?  She knew I cared about her.  
That shouldn't be a surprise.  I'd told her she was my one in five billion, 
that she was my touchstone, that she made me whole.  I didn't know why 
she would suddenly think that those feelings had changed.  Unless she 
hadn't really believed me in the first place.  

Maybe she thought those declarations were made in the heat of the 
moment.  Most of them were, but only because that was when I didn't 
have the energy to hide anymore and keep my shields in place.  This was 
the first time I'd made declarations of affection to her without the catalyst 
of a tragedy to back it up.  And I'd scared her.  Shit.  I wondered what she 
was going to do.

XXXXXXXXXX

Ohmygodohmygodohmygod.  What the hell was that?  What the hell was 
he trying to say to me?  The only woman he wanted to look at him?  What 
did that mean?  Look at him how?  Oh God, did he mean what I think he 
meant?  If he only knew how often I looked at him.

He had no idea that my moodiness lately was directly related to my frustration 
over the fact that I was 37 years old and didn't have a mate.  I was 37 years old 
with a dangerous career, no children, no home to speak of, and no sense of 
stability.  I wanted that stability.  I was tired of going 
home alone at night and sleeping in an empty bed.

I was sexually frustrated and I was lonely.  I tried to convince myself that 
my attraction to my partner was simply the result of him being the only 
man in my life on a regular basis and it would wear off.  I would meet 
someone in the course of an investigation and we would click and hit it 
off.  I'd been telling myself that for five years.  Nothing had changed.  I 
compared every man I came in contact with against Mulder.  They all 
looked like pale shadows of my partner.

He stimulated my brain ... and my body too, as he'd said I did for him.  He 
could excite and exasperate me.  He could be arrogant but could also be 
tender and compassionate.  He felt things so deeply that it scared me.  
He was obsessive and intense.  And he stirred things in me that I didn't 
want to recognize.

I'd never told anyone about my romantic proclivities.  I'd always had this 
dream that someday, a man would take me in his arms.  He would kiss 
me and the rest of the world would disappear and I would just KNOW he 
was the one.  When I asked my mother about love and knowing who the 
right man was, she always said, 'you'll know'.  I hated that answer.  I 
wanted concrete answers, empirical evidence that I could sink my teeth 
into and assure myself that I wasn't making a mistake.  

And my dream of having a man literally sweep me off my feet and make 
me forget everything in the world but him?  Well, I figured I'd read too 
many romance novels in college and needed to buck up and face reality.

I'd thought Daniel Waterson was the one.  I'd though Jack Willis was the 
one.  So what the hell did I know?  I'd known Ed Jerse wasn't the one, but 
I was tired, lonely and horny and he'd made me feel wanted and reckless.  
In the end I couldn't sleep with him.  Good thing.  It seemed I had a knack for 
attracting wackos like Jerse and Padgett.

So now what?  It wasn't like Mulder to say those things, to be so bold.  Or 
was it?  He'd said a lot of things over the years to tell me that I was 
important to him.  I knew that.  I knew he cared for me, maybe as more 
than a friend, but I'd never let my mind wander down that path of 
possibility.  That way would lead to madness, I'd told myself.  

I had to go back out there and face him.  What the hell was I going to 
say?  Would he respect my boundaries if I said I didn't want to talk about 
it anymore just now?  Mulder was not good with boundaries.  That 
thought brought a smile to my face. Could I stall him?  I'm sure I could.  
He never pushed too far.  But I hadn't been stopping him, so he'd taken 
that as his cue to keep talking.  What did he want from me?  

Sex?

Just sex?

No, Mulder was a lot of things but shallow was not one of them, despite 
his proclivity for porn and innuendo.  I knew how gun shy he was about 
relationships.  And despite my petty reactions and comments, I knew in 
my heart he would never touch that chamber maid.  Then why had I 
reacted like that?  

Because I was jealous, plain and simple.  And not of her, per se.  I was 
just instantly annoyed and saddened that she had his attention and I 
didn't.  How pathetic and childish and self-centered was that?  If I was 
honest with myself, I wanted to be the center of his attention ... all the 
time.

I knew that was impossible.  And I was even jealous of the work that
sometimes that took his focus away from me and our friendship, our 
relationship.  But the work was the reason for our relationship so I could 
hardly begrudge it.  Without it, we never would have met, become friends 
and confidantes, and we never would be in this situation in the first place.

Well, time to face the music.  I splashed cold water on my face and patted 
it dry with a paper towel.  I went to the bathroom and squared my 
shoulders before reentering the restaurant.  I could see his head laid back 
against the backrest of the booth.  His lips were frowning, the edges of his 
mouth twitching.  His eyes were closed and he looked so desolate and 
sad that I felt my heart twist at the sight of it.  I'd seen him sad so many 
times, broken and destroyed so many times.  I was tired of it.

How often did I see him smile?  I wanted to see that smile more often.  I 
wanted to hear his laughter and I wanted to be the reason for it.  This last 
month had sent me into a tail spin of indecision and turmoil as I tried to 
come to grips with my feelings for my partner.  And then, tried to decide 
what the hell to do about them.

I'd finally admitted to myself that I was in love with him.  Even admitting it 
inside my head had so scared the shit out of me that I had retreated from him for 
weeks afterwards.  I had let the feeling come one night into the open and cried 
myself to sleep, thinking that I couldn't change this situation.

Then the next morning, disgusted with my weakness and indecision, I had 
decided that I would acknowledge these feelings to myself, but I would 
keep them hidden, from him and everyone else.  Unless ... unless he 
showed me that he felt the same.  Was that what was happening here?  
Was he trying to tell me that he felt the same?

Same as what?  He didn't know I was in love with him.  And that word had 
not come out of his mouth.  Not today anyway.  I was hit with the flash 
back of the one time those words did come out of his mouth as he lay in a 
hospital bed, doped to the gills on painkillers.  I'd been less than receptive 
to his doped up declaration and ran away to nurse the pain in my heart 
that had blossomed, wishing the words were true and not some drug 
induced euphoria on his part.


PART 3 (R)
COLEMAN LODGE, ROUTE 1
NEW LONDON, CONNECTICUT
TUESDAY, JULY 3, 2001
3:00 PM

Neither of us had spoken any more about it.  We had paid the bill and 
returned to the motel.  

In order to get both of our minds going in a different direction, I pulled out 
the case file and spread things out on the bed, inviting him to sit there 
with me.   I read to him and he read to me as I typed the report.  This had 
been an annoying case, a total waste of our time as far as I was 
concerned. Three Navy corporals had died on board the USS Archerfish, 
a submarine docked in the Thames River.  All three were mechanics of 
some sort.  The Navy, of course was denying responsibility, saying the 
accidents were just that, accidents.  

They assured everyone that a thorough military investigation was taking 
place and safety measures were being put into practice to avoid future 
'accidents.'  

Turns out that they were in violation of several Federal Safety Codes for 
submarines.  I'd taken some perverse pleasure in making the Captain 
look stupid when he condescended to me.  I had started spouting about 
the inner workings of the sub and using Navy terms that only a Navy Brat 
would know.  He had stopped treating me like the little side-kick and 
virtually ignored Mulder after that.  I'd seen Mulder grinning at me every 
time I turned to look at him.  Any other man would have been insulted.
Mulder was amused.

The Justice Department wasn't buying it and for once, factions of our 
esteemed government were not in cahoots to cover up mistakes.  Of 
course, Mulder and I both knew that Senator Matheson's son, Gary Matheson was 
behind most of this and had called in favors from us and Skinner to have this 
looked into.  He was up for reelection in another six months, having taken his 
father's seat in the Senate.  Exposing some murky secret of the Navy's would be a 
big feather in his cap as a junior Senator.  Sorry, Senator.  Not this time.  They 
just needed to shape up their safety procedures.

Although neither Mulder nor I was thrilled with the assignment, we both 
felt that we owed Matheson, Sr.  He had done a lot for us.  Unfortunately, 
in the end, he had paid with his life trying to expose the big boys.  I wasn't 
entirely sure that this was the best place to be right now, tangled up in 
this political intrigue.  We had enough problems.

But we plowed on like good little soldiers, putting our personal differences 
and tensions aside.  As usual, once the evidence and the give and take 
started flowing we were throwing out ideas, plans and theories as usual.  I 
was furiously typing notes and lists of things to do to tie up loose ends on 
my laptop as Mulder scanned the autopsy reports into his file cabinet of a 
brain, occasionally asking me for clarification on a medical term.

We ordered Chinese at about 6:00 PM and cleaned up the files while we 
were waiting for the food to arrive.  Mulder grabbed his suitcase and 
disappeared into the bathroom.  I heard the shower going and laid back 
on the bed.  There was a knock at the door and went to get it, paying the 
delivery boy.  I carefully spread the food out on the bed in its little 
containers, carefully spooning some out onto a paper plate as I heard the water 
shut off.  

A few minutes later Mulder emerged from the bathroom, a towel around 
his shoulders, rubbing his head vigorously with the damp towel.  His torso 
was bare and he was wearing sweat pants, slung low on his hips.  His 
feet were bare also.  Before I could stop myself, my eyes hand scanned 
him from the tip of his toes to the top of his spiky hair.  I reached his face 
and froze.

His hand was still in mid air, having stopped rubbing his hair.  He was 
staring at me and I felt a tiny shiver go down my spine and averted my 
eyes.  "Food's here, Mulder, you better eat before it gets cold."

He grunted, throwing the towel over the back of a chair, but making no 
attempt to put any more clothes on.  He perched one hip on the edge of 
the bed and made a grab for an egg roll and a plate.  He laid on his side, 
propping his head up on one hand and elbow and eating with the other.  
He watched me silently as he ate and I tried to avoid his gaze.

"So do you want to see the fireworks tomorrow, Scully?  That kid said 
they are really something to watch over the water on the river."

"We're leaving in the morning, Mulder."

"We wouldn't have to.  And although this case was a bit annoying, I 
know you like being near the water."

He didn't answer me right away and finally, I looked at him.  He swallowed 
and said, "I don't want to talk about the case anymore."

"But we have to decide what we are going to do ..."

"Tomorrow."

"What?."

"I'll decide tomorrow, Mulder.  So... what now?  Do you want to watch 
TV?  I'll bet they have pay per view here."

He grinned.  "I don't think you'd be into what I like to watch on pay per 
view."

I blushed and coughed, trying to hide my embarrassment.  I'd forgotten my 
partner's normal nightly activities in motel's like these.  "Do you want to go for 
coffee somewhere?"  

I had the sudden urge to get out of this room.  It was almost 
claustrophobic in there even though he was nowhere near me, a whole 
three feet across the bed.   "No, I want to talk."

"About what?" I asked innocently, feeling my heart rate accelerate.   This 
was stupid!  It was just Mulder!

"You ... and me," he said softly.

"Mulder, I don't think ..."

He cut me off.  "that you want to hear what I have to say."  He sounded 
so disappointed.

I looked at him and said, "Mulder, I'm ... uncomfortable with this 
discussion, or the discussion we had earlier."

"I know that."

"Then why are you pushing it?"

"Because I hate it when things are uncomfortable between us for any 
reason and I want to resolve it.  It doesn't mean I'm going to push it, but I 
... want us to be comfortable together.  Obviously something is bothering 
you and it has been for a while now.  I'm your best friend, Scully, can't 
you tell me about it?"

I looked at him.  He continued, "And I don't think it has anything to do with 
me, or what we talked about earlier.  You've been weird and reclusive and 
introverted for almost two months now, but more so the last month.  It bothers me 
when you withdraw from me like this, Scully.  Please, tell me 
what's going on."

I sniffled a bit and chewed on my lip.  Could I tell him?  What if this went 
badly?  It wasn't a good time.  Was there ever a good time?  He 
whispered, "Scully, please, don't shut me out."

I made eye contact then, and said, "It has everything to do with you, 
Mulder."

He nodded.  He sighed and blinked rapidly.  Then said, "You want to 
leave the X-Files, don't you?"

"What?!"

"Well, you've been increasingly bitchy every time we go on a case.  You 
hate the hotels, you're withdrawing from me.  You aren't even arguing my 
theories with me anymore.  You are just going through the motions.  I 
don't need to be a genius to figure out that you're not happy with the work 
anymore or happy with me anymore ... if you ever were."

"Oh Mulder, no!  That's not what this is about at all!"

"It's not?  But you said it was all about me?  Last time you started acting 
like this ... you came back saying that not everything was about me!  
What the hell, Scully?.  I never know what the hell is going on inside your 
head!"

I smiled.  "You're right, I'm not the most forthcoming individual, am I?"

"That's an understatement," he quipped.  "So what are these mood 
swings all about?"

"I have been doing a lot of thinking about where my life is heading these 
days."

"I knew it."

"Shhh, no you don't.  I'm not talking about the job.  I'm talking about my 
personal life."

"Have you found someone?"  This was asked so quietly.  I turned to him 
and the look on his face was devastating.  He looked crushed.  Oh God, 
what was happening here?

"No, I haven't found someone."  I found myself rushing to reassure him 
knowing that it was probably the give away he was looking for.

"Then what?"

"Give me a minute."

He nodded and I tried to think of what to say.  How much should I say?  
How much was I willing to risk at this point?  Finally, I decided I could 
probably get him to give me a clue how much I should say.  I asked a 
question.

"Before I start, answer a question for me."

He nodded.  "Sure."

"How do you feel about me?"

His mouth dropped open.  "Could you be more specific?"

I almost laughed at his hesitation.  "You told me earlier what you SEE 
when you look at me, but what do you feel, for me, about me, oh I don't 
know?!"

He chuckled mirthlessly and then fixed me with a stare.  I wanted to look 
away but I was caught by the swirling gold flakes in his eyes as he 
continued to look at me the tension between us growing.  He finally said, 
"I've told you how I feel about you."

"No you haven't.  When?"

"Yes, I have.  You weren't listening."

"What do mean?" I sounded angry and took a deep breath.  "I always 
listen to you, Mulder!"

"When it's what you want to hear."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!"  I was raising my voice and 
already he had flustered me.

"It means that you are good at evasion and not hearing things that make 
you uncomfortable."  His voice was perfectly calm and unruffled.

I felt tears sting my eyes.  He sat up and I felt my whole body stiffen.  He 
stood and swiped the food off the bed, carrying the containers to the 
small table and discarding our dirty plates and wrappers.  When he 
returned to the bed, he sat much closer.  I was sitting in a lotus position 
with my back to the headboard.  He leaned on one hip, holding his weight 
on his right arm and sat mere inches from my legs.  "Mulder!"

"What?" he asked.  His calm was positively unnerving.

"Why can't you ever just give me a straight answer?! Damn it!  You 
accuse me of evading issues, but what are you doing right now?"  I was 
striking out and I knew it.  And I knew it was wrong.  I was scared.

His hands came up and cupped the sides of my face and I froze.  He 
looked me in the eye for another few seconds and calm as can be he 
said, "O.K., Scully.  You asked for it, you got it."

He paused again and I tried to pull away from his hands but he slowly 
nodded his head in the negative.  I froze again.  He licked his lips.  "How 
do I feel about you, Scully?"

I swallowed.  I didn't need to repeat my question.  It was rhetorical. I 
waited, feeling my insides start to quiver.  His voice was raw and a little 
ragged when he finally said, "You're everything to me, Scully.  Absolutely 
everything.  I'm in love with you, have been for a long, ... long time.  
That's how I feel about you.  I love you." 

He shrugged and pressed his lips together and dropped his hands.  He 
scooted away from me and lay back on the bed, his long legs hanging 
over the edge.  I stared at him, my mouth hanging open, not sure what to 
say or do.  

Holy shit.  He'd said it.  Just like that.  I asked and he told me.  Well, I 
guess I got what I asked for.  Now what?  What did I do with it?  His 
hands were behind his head and he turned to look at me, a self 
deprecating smirk on his face.  

"Not what you thought I'd say, huh, Scully?"

I shook my head, still trying to find my voice.  I cleared my throat.  "No."

He smiled again and turned to look at the ceiling.  "So, are you going to 
tell me what the hell is going on with you?"

He'd changed the subject just like that, trying to break the tension that was 
rising still between us.  But he didn't realize that what was bothering me was 
directly related to what he'd just said.

Oh God, he was in love with me.  He was in love with me.  I fell back on 
the bed, straightening my legs and feeling my bare feet come in contact 
with his rib cage.  He hissed but held still.  I flexed my toes and he barked 
a laugh.  "That tickles, Scully!"

I smiled.  Ah, so he was ticklish.  I felt scared and giddy all at the same 
time.  I could feel him looking at me now.  After another minute of silence, 
he said, "Scully?"

I closed my eyes and started talking, as though I were reading from the 
diary in my mind.  "Ever since I was a young girl, I've wanted one of those 
fairytale relationships, you know?"

He grunted.  "Every girl wants them, Mulder, but they grow out of them.  
They want to meet the man that sweeps them off their feet and carries 
them off into the sunset.  Their mothers tell them all their lives that when 
they meet the right man, they will just KNOW he is the one.  I've never 
understood that, still don't."

"You too scientific, that's why."

I chuckled.  "I know.  It's a conflict."  

"Go on."

"So I guess I did grow out of it, to an extent.  But I was still waiting.  I used 
to be so sure of myself.  I knew what I wanted, I knew what I didn't want.  
But my life was much more predictable then.  I knew what was going to 
happen the next day, within reason.

"Since I've been with you, all that has changed.  I never know what to 
expect from one day to the next.  And oddly enough, that doesn't bother 
me.  I find it challenging and exciting and I enjoy the work we do most of 
the time.  I wouldn't want to change it, truly."

He sighed with what sounded suspiciously like relief.  "However, that 
doesn't mean that I have everything I want either."

"Me neither," he mumbled, but then went silent again.  Then he asked, 
"What do you want Scully?  What is it that you want that you don't have?"

I sighed.  "I want a man in my life, Mulder.  I don't want to spend my 
evenings alone anymore.  I don't want to face an empty bed every night."

I thought I heard his breath hitch, but I didn't dare look at him.  I just kept 
going.  "I want to be able to curl up on the couch at night after a hard day 
with someone's arms around me.

"I want someone to make love to me and make me forget how fucked up 
my life is sometimes, even though it's the life I chose."

I felt him sit up but still didn't look as I felt my foot slide over his skin and 
heard his little hiss.  I kept talking as I felt the bed dip as he stood and 
then sat back down.  My breathing increased but I kept going, wondering 
if this could lead where I suddenly wanted it to lead.  Oh God, would he 
touch me?  

"I feel ... so lonely sometimes, Mulder.  Even though I'm around people 
all the time, I'm lonely.  I'm lonely because I don't have any intimacy in my 
life.  That's what is missing.  It's what makes me sad and melancholy and 
cranky and bitchy so much of the time.  I do my job and go about my 
business.  But it's always in the back of my mind, what I'm missing.  
Someone who can rip the mask off, you know?  See what's underneath 
and like that too."

I heard him mumbled, "The Unmasking of Dana  Scully."

I fell silent as I felt him lay down on the bed on his side.  I knew he was 
facing me, but I still didn't open my eyes.  He waited, seeing if I was going 
to say anything else.  "Scully?  I'd like to apply for the job."

"Hmmm?"

"The job of unmasking Dana Scully."

I smiled.  "Oh you do, do you?"

"How do you feel about me?" he asked suddenly.

My eyes snapped open and I was once again snared in how deep his 
eyes were.  The windows to his soul, indeed.  There was a hazy, 
dreamlike quality in the air right now.  I was frightened yet giddy and 
excited.  His hand moved very slowly but came to rest on my stomach.  
He watched it, then looked at me again and back at his hand.  I didn't stop 
him and felt the heat of his palm right through my blouse. 

I caught his eyes again and said, "I ... Mulder, I'm not sure if I can say ..."

He closed his eyes and then said, "O.K., I'll ask an easier question."

I waited, feeling my lip quiver and bit it to stop its telltale sign of 
nervousness.  "Do you want me to touch you?  Do you want to be 
intimate ... with me?"

I stared, unable to say anything.  His head dipped down and his lips 
brushed over my collarbone, making me shiver.  "If I touch you, will you 
push me away?"

He trailed his lips up my neck, just brushing them on my skin, not kissing.  
The maddening nearness sent my blood pumping and my ears were 
flooded with the sound of rushing blood.  My eyes closed involuntarily.  
"Scully?" he asked again.  His hot breath now cascaded around the shell 
of my ear and I moaned, before I could stop it.

"Open your eyes, Scully."

I hesitated but then opened them.  The look of pure focused desire and 
lust on his face took my breath away.  He licked his lips and stared at 
mine.  His eyes made the journey from my lips to my eyes and back 
again, asking permission.  I couldn't move, but managed to nod, just 
barely.

A small smile of awe tipped the corners of his mouth up and he lowered 
his head slowly, holding my gaze every second.  He breathed against my 
lips and I licked them. 

He finally dipped down and captured my mouth.  His mouth was open and 
he swept my lips and teeth with his tongue.  He was gentle but firm and I 
found myself opening my mouth to allow him inside.  His wet, hot tongue 
sunk into my mouth and danced with my tongue.  He moaned and 
deepened the kiss when I began to participate.  His body lowered itself 
gently so that it was covering half of me, his knee wedged between my 
legs. 

He lifted briefly and looked at me and whispered, "So beautiful."  I felt my 
eye lids flutter uncontrollably before his lips descended again.  And then I 
knew nothing but the dark, salty taste of his kisses as he plundered every 
corner of my face.  He was by turns rough and passionate, slow and 
tender.  

Little grunts and hums of pleasure spurred me on and my hands found his 
torso, rubbing up and down.  He shuddered under my touch and my head 
spun at the feeling of excitement that came from knowing he was so 
sensitive to my touch.  He finally broke the kiss and rasped out into my 
ear, "Scully, I want to make love to you.  Please, let me take the 
loneliness away.  I want you so much."

I shivered and nodded again.  Speech seemed to be a higher function 
that I was totally incapable of now.  He unbuttoned my shirt and shed it 
from my shoulders.  He unclasped my bra without preliminaries, his eyes 
drawing a hot path down my torso as my skin was revealed.  I thought he 
would interrupt his task but he didn't.  He reached for my pants and 
unzipped them, hooking his fingers in the waist band.  He looked up and 
said, "Lift."

I lifted my hips and he tugged my slacks and underwear down in one swift 
pull.  I gasped, having not expected him to take my underwear.  I felt 
exposed and vulnerable all of the sudden and reached to cover my apex.  
His hands shot out and pinned my hands to the bed.  He shook his head 
in the negative.  "No Scully."

I bit my look and held his gaze.  He finished pulling my pants off and 
stood up.  He stared at me and I fought the urge to cover myself.  My 
nipples hardened in the cool air but then grew hot and heavy under his 
gaze.  

He kept eye contact as he slowly reached down and tugged on the draw 
string of his sweat pants.  I looked down at his waist for the first time 
since he'd come out of the bathroom, my eyes drawn to his lean hip 
bones.  He pulled the waist loose and let them drop.  He wasn't wearing 
any underwear and his cock sprung free, bouncing against his stomach.

I felt a wash of excitement at the sight of his enormous equipment, red 
and pulsing with excitement.  It rose from his wiry nest of chestnut pubic 
hair, the wide smooth head glistening with precum fluid.  His balls were 
large and framed his erection at the base.  He approached me slowly, 
and crawled up onto the bed, moving directly between my legs. He used 
his knee to nudge my legs apart and I felt the cool on my heated crotch and 
gasped.  He moved his body down slowly and we both moaned when we felt skin on 
skin for the first time.

I grabbed the back of his neck and yanked him down to my mouth, 
kissing him hard, knowing I was bruising both our lips. We did nothing but 
this for minutes, I don't know how long.   I remember thinking vaguely, 'oh 
my god, I forgot where I am.'

He finally broke the kiss and said, "Slow down, we have all night."

I stared at him and smiled.  And he said, "I'm going to explore.  Can I 
explore, Scully?"

I nodded, still unable to speak.  I couldn't believe this was happening.  
Fox Mulder was going to make love to me.  God help me.  I was going to 
drown in him, lose myself.  I felt a stab of panic and started to sit up to 
give myself a little distance.  But just as I arched my torso, his lips latched 
onto my hardened nipple, sucking it deep into his mouth as his roughly 
textured tongue laved across the sensitive bud.  I groaned and sank back 
down into the mattress.  My only thought as I felt the bolt of cringing 
arousal shoot into my womb was, 'More.'  

I must have said it out loud because he made little noises of agreement 
and sucked harder.  And I was lost, and I didn't care.


PART 4 (NC-17)
COLEMAN LODGE, ROUTE 1
NEW LONDON, CONNECTICUT
TUESDAY, JULY 3, 2001
8:00 PM

'Rapture' was a word that came to mind.  Despite the explosion of lust 
flowing in my veins, I didn't want to rush.  The first time would only 
happen one time and I wanted to lock every second into my mind.  I 
wanted to make this memorable for her too.  The touch of her hands and 
body against mine was electric and warm.  I had the absurd thought that 
we might both ignite into flames.

Laying down over her nude body on the bed, I began to explore every hill, 
valley and plain with my tongue.  I pulled her nipples between my lips and 
shook with excitement at the low sounds of pleasure this caused.  I 
traveled over her torso, kissed her legs, her slender ankles and sucked 
on her toes, painted candy-apple red.

'Radiant' was another word that came to mind.  I looked up from her feet, 
scanning her body.  She was flushed and covered with a slight sheen of 
sweat that made her ivory skin glow in the soft light.  Her chest was 
flushed, her nipples hard and dark pink.  

I crawled up into the cradle of her thighs.  Her hands were busy brushing 
my sides with her palms.  I shivered with anticipation.  I felt light-headed.  
My heart was pounding a mile a minute and my legs felt weak.  I pulled 
my stomach taut, seeking control, the control to go slow and savor this 
moment, every moment.  

She opened her eyes and looked at me as my throbbing cock nudged her 
wet entrance. She gasped and said only the second word she'd uttered 
since we began, "Pppllleeeaaasssee."

I slid inside slowly, gritting my teeth, and went as deep as I could go.   
Lord have mercy!  I was ALL the way inside Scully.  The groan of pure 
relief and pleasure that emerged from the back of her throat as her head 
was thrown back against the pillow made me shudder.  Her legs locked 
around my lower back and her hands slid down to squeeze my ass.  I 
shook with excitement and tried to take deep breaths to calm down.

I held my weight on my elbows, staying still, enjoying the feel of her 
swollen heat around my engorged shaft.  I ran the tips of my fingers down 
her cheeks and felt them tingle at the contact with her baby soft skin.  She 
sighed and I dropped my head to kiss her again.  I was slow and thorough.  I 
feasted on her warm, soft lips as our tongues lazily circled one another.  

Being with her was more incredible than I ever imagined.  I knew there 
were lots of things missing in my life, but even I had not realized how 
empty my world was without this.  A life without passion is an empty life.  
It was as though I had been holding my breath for years and now I could 
sigh and breathe deeply.  That was it.  She was like oxygen to me, just as 
essential.

I wanted to be here, inside her, for as long as possible. I didn't ever want 
to leave.  But primal instinct took over and I began to rock my throbbing 
flesh in and out of her, finding a rhythm almost instantly, and she matched 
me thrust for slow thrust.

The low waving throb that washed through my body was the most 
exquisite feeling I'd ever had.  And I could feel her body so in tune with 
mine.  Her eyes stayed open, although they were heavy-lidded and slow 
to blink.  We watched each other, overcome with the feeling of 
synchronicity that was now ours.  I felt us surge and hover at a peak and 
recede back with the wave of excitement.  Over and over again.

My cock was so hard that it hurt, but the pain was exquisite.  She was 
driving me crazy with her soft cries of pleasure.  I was barely moving 
inside her now, trying to draw this out.  I whispered, "It's like we're 
dancing, Scully, so perfect, so in sync."  She made an adorable little 
grunting sound that made me smile.

I'd had years of daydreams to fuel my imagination of what this would be 
like and they were all a distant memory now.  Being with her gave me a 
feeling of being eternal, very REAL, and so PRESENT in every single 
moment, unlike my flowing, vague daydreams of passion.

I sped up, surging inside her, almost pulling out and driving deeper.  I 
swear I could feel her walls swell around me, become more snug and 
vibrating up and down my sensitive shaft.  This was it, this was everything 
that I was missing in my life.  This woman filled in all the blank spots, all 
the cracks and crevices of my being.  We were melting now, melting into 
one another.

I had the line from a song flit through my mind, 'I'll stop the world and melt 
with you.'  That's what this felt like.  We were now truly one being, two 
halves of a whole.

Her words were sultry and a little stilted but she began to mumble and I 
lowered my head close to her lips to hear her words, "Oh God, Mulder, I 
always dreamed of someone whose touch would make the world go 
away, make time stop for me."

She was silent a beat, a moment and then said, "You were so close all 
this time.   You're the one, Mulder, you're the one."

They were magical words to my ears.  One hand dropped to her breast 
and I began kissing her again.  I had to speed up.  As if reading my mind, 
she thrust hard against me.  I began plunging into her hot, wet depths, 
feeling my spine tingle, my balls cringe deliciously.  I groaned as her 
swollen tunnel tugged at my rigid shaft and I heard the suction of her 
body trying to hold me inside with every retreat.

Her entire body went still for a beat and then broke apart into trembling 
and shaking.  Her walls gripped me ferociously and she shrieked my 
name on a long drawn out cry that made me quake.  "Mmuullddeerr, Oh 
God, YES!  Awwwwwwww, yeeesss!"

I followed quickly behind her feeling my essence burn as it shot out of my 
body into hers with such pressure I thought my cock would explode.  
"Ssccuullyy!  Oh God, I Love you, Oh Scully, Oh God!"

Our bodies deflated together, her legs sliding off my lower back, her feet 
hooking the backs of my thighs.  I let my weight sink onto her, hoping I 
wasn't crushing her.  My head was buried in the crook of her neck and her 
hair was tickling my nose as reality reasserted itself.  Her hands were 
shaking as they came up to rake furrows through my hair, now sweaty 
and damp.  I shivered at the slight scratch of her nails on my scalp and 
she chuckled.

We were quiet, both struggling to slow our heart beats and regain our 
breath.  So softly, I barely heard her, she said, "Mulder?"

"Hmmm?"

Another beat of silence and I lifted my head to look at her.  Her face was 
open and vulnerable as I'd never seen it.  Her eyes were dark and smoky 
as they scanned my face.  She whispered still, as though volume would 
break this spell, and maybe it would have.  "I love you so much, Mulder."

I wrapped her in a tight hug and pressed her to me.  I rolled to the side, 
relieving her of my weight but kept her body tangled with mine, one hand 
now pressing her low back to keep her anchored to me.  I didn't want to 
move away from her heat just yet.  I kissed her tenderly.  "Oh Scully, I 
love you too.  I have for so long."

She nodded, her eyes a little misty and then her face was buried in my 
neck.  We snuggled that way for some time.  I whispered, "Hey, Scully, 
I've seen under the mask and guess what?"

"What Mulder?"

"Everything underneath is beautiful too."  

She hummed and squeezed me tighter.  "Oh Mulder."

The only move I made was to jostle her enough to pull the covers up over 
us and tuck them in around us. I buried my nose in her hair and 
whispered, "I love you, Scully."

She sighed and the last thing I remember hearing before dropping into 
sleep was her whispering in my ear.  "You're the one, Mulder."

THE END.

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