Title: Choices Made
Author: Nadine :)
Email: hare_krishna_chick@peacepassiton.zzn.com
Archive: Pleeze!! Just lemme know ok?
Category: Post-ep/V/MSR/Scully POV
Rating: NC-17, though mild
Spoilers: All Things
Summary: Another missing scene version
Disclaimer: No, not mine. 


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Choices Made (1/1)
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Darkness all around me, engulfing me.

Silence, calm. Not a sound. Only me, breathing.

Awareness. Understanding. Sudden, unexpected, but welcome. 
Clarity. Just in this moment. It's all clear now.

I get up. The leather couch gives a soft rustle as I put the 
blanket aside and stand.

It takes me a moment to find orientation in the completely dark 
room. Then, sure of where I am headed, I try
not to make too much noise walking on the wooden floor. 
As I cross the small hallway  I briefly wonder about the time, 
but only for a split second. Whatever the hour is, it does not 
matter. I made my choice. I am ready.

I open the bedroom door. 

From here I recognize his shadowy form in the bed in the 
middle of the room, and when I have reached his side I stand 
and watch him for a moment, his body, illuminated by the blue 
glow of the moon, shades of gray flickering over him, along to 
the rhythm of his breath, slow and regular. Sleep has softened 
the outlines of his face. His expression is peaceful, without 
any worry. Calm. The curve of his mouth almost mimics a smile.

I reach out and brush my fingers through the short strands of 
hair of his. Then I back away and close my eyes for a beat. 
When I open them I know what I'm doing is right. It is what 
I've chosen to do, to become.

I take off my jacket, letting it slide down. I put it down at 
the foot of the bed before I shed my clothes. Shirt, skirt, 
hose, and underwear. 

The sounds of fabric must have come to his ears for he turns 
in his sleep, now facing me. Had he opened his eyes he would 
be looking straight up at me. And this is where I want him to look.

Again, I stroke through his hair, a gesture that I hope is 
intense enough to wake him this time but not enough to scare him. 

And he shivers slightly at my touch, his eyelids flutter 
softly for a moment then open. For a second he is just 
lying there before awareness takes hold of him. He gasps in 
surprise, his body jerks, and I try to calm him, brushing my 
finger over his lips. It's alright.

And he trusts me, lies back down and waits. I then speak.
I voice what became clear to me. I tell him what the events 
of the past two days have told me, what I realized about my 
life and the paths I've taken and will take.

"Mulder", I say. "I made my choice."

The half darkness does not hide the reaction in his eyes, 
his understanding of my words. He knows what I'm saying.

I whisper, "I want you."

He doesn't respond, not verbally, just with a sparkle in his 
eyes, and lifts the covers for me. I get into the bed beside him.

His warmth, his softness immediately reaches me, heating me, 
and I snuggle close into his arms. For a moment we just 
lie here, breathing in one another's scent. I press myself 
closer into him and he 
sighs, pulling my face up to his for our first kiss.  

It is soft at first, chaste, our lips meeting, mouths slowly 
opening, then we grow hungry as I want more of him and he wants 
all of me. I know he has for a long time, and only now I've become 
sure that I want all, truly all of him. I am grateful he has waited, 
thankful for his patience, thankful for his love. And now that 
I finally showed him mine, we'll finally get to unite in 
complete, sincere love. 

For a sheer eternity we kiss, touch, explore, feel, rub skin 
against skin, find each other's sensitive spots, smell the scent 
and revel in each other's presence.

Then it is time and I let him take me, gasping as he fills me. 
He lets out a sigh of his own,  his mouth descends on mine, 
and we kiss deeply, hungrily before he starts to move.

The force of motion and the pure pleasure that fills me with 
each thrust soon have me moaning and clinging to him, 
responding with movement of my own, and we're both gasping, 
moaning, devouring each other. I am surprised, delighted, 
when he begins talking to me, whispering hushed words of love 
into my ear, and I realize we're almost there. And after just 
one more moment he begins trembling, tensing up, and I go with 
him, brought to climax by his fingers on my pleasure point, 
by him inside of me. I can feel him giving his life to me, 
though there will never be another life created, but it doesn't 
matter. This is the choice we both made, without any regrets.

When we calm down and he slides out of me, I close my eyes 
and we kiss one last time before drifting back to sleep, 
as peaceful as ever. Now with a new awareness on our minds, 
in our hearts, even in sleep. The awareness of a new path 
that we've taken. 

Epilogue

I finish cleaning myself, putting my clothes back on. 
A glance into the mirror, a few drops of water sparkled 
into my face, and I leave the bathroom, on my way to my 
apartment.

I stop by the bed, picking up my jacket, and I look at 
Mulder for a split second. His lower legs show stick out 
from under the blanket, and now he does have a smile on 
his sleeping face. 

I'll come back soon; there are just a few things to be done, 
just little matters to be taken care of. There is no need to 
wake him. He knows I'll be back. Soon. He knows I won't leave 
him. Never. We're on this path together, and we'll continue 
walking until it ends.

I carefully close the bedroom door behind me and leave the 
apartment.

There is only one choice. And this one is right.